- New York was already one of my favorite places on Earth. Now, I have another reason to love the city, thanks to the fact that NY residents can actually order marijuana and have it delivered to their home like it’s Chinese food. A newspaper report detailed one such operation where customers dial in a pager number, then are called back by a “receptionist” shortly thereafter to place their “order”. The reefer is then brought to their door by a delivery guy. Some crucial questions need to be asked about operations like this, which operate on the illegal side of the ledger, namely: if I order some pot and it doesn’t arrive in 30 minutes or less, is it free? Are there menus available, listing size and pricing options? If I order more than two bags of weed, do I get a third free or is a free bong included with my order? I feel like these are things I need to know, because I just don’t always have time to track down my local drug dealer to place an order, so I may need to phone in for my weekly supply of the hippie lettuce from time to time.
- Stupidity reigns in Gastonia, North Carolina. There, two soccer players from a local high school downloaded a portion of a speech by former Nazi leader Joseph Goebbels, then play said speech over the PA system prior to one of their games. I’ve been in my share of press boxes, been the announcer dozens and dozens of times and seen the sound guys in action. I’ve seen firsthand why you must have someone screen anything - music, speeches, announcements - that are going out over the sound system. Athletes, even when told that songs they choose for a warm-up CD can’t contain explicit lyrics, try to include them anyhow, as if they will magically still be played. Yet no adults listened to what these two dunces planned to play over the intercom. I’m gonna go out on a limb as say that speeches by Joe Goebbels aren't the top ranked podcast on iTunes, so these two had to know what it was they had downloaded and planned to play. Maybe next time the school administrators will keep a closer eye on who has access to the PA system.
- We now know what it takes to get through to President Bush: a resounding ass-kicking of his party in an election that determined control of both houses of Congress. Tens of millions of people across America wondering what the frick he was doing with the war in Iraq and why there was no exit strategy just didn’t do it for W. But now that people have voted and booted out Republicans by the bunch, W has fired/asked his Secretary of Defense to resign and is rethinking his strategy for Iraq. What’s truly depressing is that apparently unless there’s an election forthcoming, there is no other way to get through to the President and let him know what a giant tool we think he is.
- At leas there’s something America is still good at in terms of sports. Well, technically the team of Major League Baseball All-Stars that swept a Japanese team on a recent tour of Japan wasn’t an American team, but given our recent ineptitude on the athletic field, I’ll take anything I can get. Yes, some of the MLB players were international, but some were American, such as Phillies’ slugger Ryan Howard, who bashed 4 home runs in 5 games. Not since Godzilla ran amok on the streets of Tokyo has a large, brutishly strong invader terrorized Japanese people so severely. One observation, though; is the weather in Japan so bad that none of the teams there have outdoor stadiums? They’re all domes, and what’s worse, they all have the old style artificial turf, the kind that’s a thin layer of carpet over concrete. Keep the domes if you want, Japan, but we have this great new invention called field turf, it’s synthetic blades of grass with ground-up rubber sprinkled at the base to make it softer and less likely to prematurely end players’ careers due to playing on concrete surfaces.
- The Democrats control Congress!……………….big deal, right? Either that, or when the next elections roll around, Congress will have accomplished just as little as the Republican-led version did. Bills will contain lots of pork, as always, bribes will be taken from lobbyists, important bills will be haggled over and filibustered, legislators from both parties will snipe at one another and b*tch about each other, and in the end, not a lot will get done. It’s one remarkable constant in American politics; it doesn’t much matter who’s in office, you can count on the same shenanigans and tomfoolery year in, year out. Ain’t America grand……….
- Diddy knows music, he knows business and he knows entertainment, but apparently dude doesn’t know about marriage. He’s been with his girlfriend, Kim Porter, for years now, during which about 5,000 Hollywood marriages have started and ended, but despite Porter being close to giving birth to twins, Diddy recently said he’s not ready to get married. Understandable, because after all, why rush into things? He’s still trying to build a career, make a little bit of money, perhaps save up for a starter home for he and his family. Add this to the list of things famous and rich people can get away with that the average person can’t. If the average guy tried to pull this same routine and avoid marriage for this long under the same circumstances, average girlfriend would hold a Machete to his jugular and demand a marriage proposal or else.
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