Monday, November 20, 2006

it's monday, don't rub it in. focus on the 130 bags of crack.........

- Never have I been so ecstatic to see a group of animated penguins at the top of any list. The new Happy Feet movie, about penguins who apparently love to dance, was the top grossing movie over the weekend, outdistancing the new James Bond movie by a few million dollars. What’s funny is that I am so giddy to see the dancing penguins (not to be confused with the penguin dance, a sensation sweeping the nation) because it means that insipid Borat movie is no longer at the top of the list. I’ll go out on a limb and say that I would, if give the choice, watch Happy Feet instead of Borat, and that the writing and humor in the former are markedly better. That, and the makers of Happy Feet didn’t have to lie to anyone or misrepresent the scope and nature of their movie in order to get people on camera as Borat did. Now people are lining up to sue the makers of Borat for those very reasons. How about people who paid to see it suing for their ten bucks back? That’s a lawsuit I can get on board with.

- Running first in the “Most Despised Congressman” derby……….in a landslide victory, it’s New York Rep. Charles Rangel, a Democrat whose aims I don’t object to but whose means are, well, idiotic. Rangel, like myself (and anyone with more than four brain cells and not related to W - well, those are both kinda the same thing) is looking for ways to bring the Iraq mess to a close. However, Rangel feels that reinstating the draft is the way to go, because those prolonging the conflict would feel differently about doing so if there was a chance their friends, family members and constituents might be subject to…………..a draft! That’s right, Rangel wants to reinstate the f’ing draft. That’s the worst idea I’ve heard in a long time, and not just because I object to the war concept in general and am fully committed to 1) never being shot at, and 2) never shooting at anyone. Our military is struggling enough with people who actually do want to be serving, how exactly is its level of effectiveness going to increase by bringing in people who are there against their will? Fortunately, Rangel’s awful idea isn't going anywhere in Congress. Back in 2003, a measure to reinstate the draft was voted down 402-2. If more than 400 representatives agree on any one issue, I think it’s safe to say that’s an issue people feel strongly about. Good sentiment, Chuck, but looks like you need a better plan.

- Scratch Carnival Cruise Lines from your vacation plans for the foreseeable future. The Carnival Liberty, one of the company’s large cruise ships, docked in Ft. Lauderdale over the weekend for a thorough cleansing after the vast majority of the ship’s 700 passengers became ill shortly after the ship left port. Norovirus, which I have no idea about, is blamed for the illnesses, but it really doesn’t matter the specific ailment. All I know is that when I’m trapped on a boat out at sea with no real means for a quick escape, I don’t want to have some mysterious ailment running rampant throughout the ship’s population. I don’t have a fear of water, boats or drowning, but I think I will restrict my vacationing to dry land until cruise ship companies find a way to keep illness-causing viruses from runnin’ wild on their boats.

- Any time you bring up the topic of race in relation to anything, it riles people up. Not my intention here, so hear me out. Caught an interesting music video on recently from a group named TV on the Radio, an all black rock group. This isn't rock in the sense of AC/DC, Metallica or even Pearl Jam, but rather along the indie/alt lines. Still, it falls into the rock genre, and it got me thinking how very rare it is to see an all black rock group. As it happens, TV on the Radio is a great group and they have a great sound, along with a video that features people turning into werewolves. I am sure there are some deeply rooted cultural and social reasons why there aren't as many all black rock groups, centered around rock not being as closely tied to urban areas as other genres, such as hip hop, soul, R&B, etc. are. But rock does have roots in soul and gospel, so you can't make that argument without factoring everything in. In the end, though, I’m all for as man great rock/indie/alternative bands out there as we can get, regardless of their race or skin color. Rock is rock, and rock is still the best kind of music out there eight days a week.

- Are you as stunned by this headline as I am: “Bush faces cool reception in Indonesia”? Thought so. W is on a tour of Asia and the Pacific Rim, and amazingly, people in that area of the world, which is predominantly Muslim, aren't thrilled to see him. Indonesia is the world’s most populous Muslim country, and there were thousands of angry protestors (isn't that redundant, aren't protestors by their very nature angry?) decrying America’s policy in the Middle East and wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. What’s truly funny is that millions of people in America actually agree with what those protestors are saying, we’re just not as extremist about it. We won’t be rioting, er, protesting in such violent fashion, burning W in effigy and what not. But why in the world would W bother stopping in Indonesia when getting shot at seems like a very likely outcome. Amazingly, W was slated to spend most of his time in Indonesia at Bogor Palace, a presidential retreat outside of Jakarta. What, not going to mingle with the little people, W? No hand shaking and baby kissing, maybe have some lunch at a local eatery with the commoners? Have your powwow with the Indonesian prez, W, but hurry up and get back to America so you can continue screwing up your own country.

- Interesting NFL weekend, with a few notable highlights: for the third time in the last five years, Donovan McNabb suffers a devastating injury, and for the second consecutive year, it’s season ending. This time, a torn right ACL is the malady, and it occurred on a seemingly innocuous fall on the Tennessee Titans’ sideline. Tough break for D-Mac and the Eagles, their season is over. The Indianapolis Colts’ season isn't over, but their unbeaten streak is, snapped at nine following a 21-14 loss to Dallas. So now the 1972 Miami Dolphins, those myopic, bitter old men, can bust open their champagne bottles and celebrate now that the last unbeaten team has lost. Someone needs to run the table, go 16-0 just to shut those bitter old geezers up. Oh, and by the way, LaDanian Tomlinson is freaky good. He scored four more touchdowns last night in San Diego’s 35-27 win over Denver. LT has 22 TDs on the season, and needs only six in the final six games to set a new single-season TD record. His consecutive four touchdown games are a new record, his 22 TDs in the first ten games is a record and he’s the fastest player ever to 100 career TDs, needing only 89 games. Remarkable talent, and this year, he just might be on the best team in the NFL. Lastly, zero props to 49ers coach Mike Nolan for sporting a suit on the sidelines. I am all about the sleeves cut off, mangy looking hoodies worn by Patriots coach Bill Belichick. Suits and ties are so formal and restrictive, makes you look like you’re workin’ for (and held down by) The Man. Thankfully, NFL coaches are only allowed to wear suits during two games a season, so we won't have to see that much more.

- As much pleasure as people derive from the antics of William Shatner, it needs to be said that just attaching his name and presence to a show, movie or commercial doesn’t make it good. ABC seems to be neglecting that principle with their new Shatner-led game show. Dude is neither cool nor funny, and while I think most people are laughing at and not with him and don’t take him too seriously, throwing up a game show whose workings and rules are unclear and one that features “Million Dollar Hookers/Dancers” who dance like marionettes at Shatner’s cue, this is not a good idea. The unintentional comedy aside, I am predicting a short run for this one, and a truly, truly devastating blow for television when this clunker is yanked from the air.

- Breaking news: now-former Los Angeles Dodgers pitching prospect Kengshill Pujols has a drug problem. I say this with confidence not because Pujols was popped this season with a 50-game suspension for violating baseball’s steroid policy. That would be a hint that something was wrong; being arrested for having 130 bags of crack on your person would be a bigger hint. Worse yet, 118 of those bags were stashed in Pujols’ drawers. Yes, dude was carrying crack in his underwear. How he managed to jam 118 bags in his boxers is beyond me, and the fact that some crack addict would be willing to smoke or ingest something that had been inside another guy’s underwear is disturbing. Maybe Pujols sewed the bags into his drawers, maybe he taped them in there with some duct tape, I don’t know. What I do know is that if you are going to have 130 bags of crack on you, you had best not be driving erratically and have no driver’s license when you get pulled over. The only positive for Pujols was that he didn’t follow the recent pattern of athletes refusing to comply with orders from police and getting tasered as a result. The Dodgers released Pujols after learning of the arrest, and I am going to go out on a limb and say that this isn't going to help his career or his goal of reaching the big leagues.

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