- If controversy does indeed create cash, then the NBA should be swimming in dollars right now. Even someone who doesn’t follow the Association that closely has undoubtedly heard about the controversies involving the rules against players arguing foul calls and about the new synthetic basketball being used in games. In fact, unless you are an avid NBA fan and a watcher of NBA-specific programs on ESPN or TNT, those two issues are pretty much all you hear about in relation to pro basketball. Players are getting technical fouls and ejections for looking at officials the wrong way after foul calls, and the new basketball is too slick/doesn’t bounce right/is hard to dribble. In other words, there’s a lot of upheaval about players’ rights to b*tch about falls calls and a lot of b*tching about whether the new ball is the right choice. No one in the mainstream sports media is very concerned with the NBA right now, and with good reason. Who cares about spoiled, rich, whiny pro players and their gangsta ways when you’ve got the most popular sports league in the U.S., the NFL, in full swing, the NCAA football season in the homestretch and NCAA hoops now kicking off? See you in May, NBA, when your own playoffs begin and people pretend to be interested in you for a month and a half.
- Fidel Castro is not in good health, and U.S. government officials have really specific intel as to exactly what the situation is. He’s got cancer in his stomach, they say………….or maybe in his colon…….scratch that, might be in his pancreas. But it’s somewhere in the general abdomen area. More great intelligence, and it doesn’t at all make you wonder why they’ve been unable to locate Osama bin Laden. He’s hiding in the mountains……maybe in the desert, might be in an underground bunker, might be at a lake house in Tahoe……But U.S. officials seem confident that Castro will not live past 2007, which of course means that come 2015, we’ll be looking at an 89-year-old Fidel still at the helm in Cuba.
- President Bush now openly welcomes idea for how to end the war in Iraq. So many possible jokes here…..brain overload…….breathe….need to breathe………alright, I think I am calm enough to proceed. Are you freaking kidding me? Now you want ideas? Now, after you’ve spent billions, had thousands die and wasted months and months on a pointless conflict, now you want ideas? Will there be a suggestion box posted outside of the Oval Office? Does the best suggestion win a prize, like a paperweight shaped like the White House or a weekend at the Crawford ranch with W? What’s amazing is that in a two-day span, from right before last week’s elections to right after, the administration’s policy on Iraq went from “Full speed ahead” and “Stay the course” to “fresh perspective” and “no one can be happy”. Really, things are suddenly very wrong and weren't before? Hmmmm. Maybe W and the Mensa members in his administration can send out for some KFC chicken and Budweiser and hunker down in a conference room for a brainstorming session. Do a few team-building exercises, some ice-breaker games, then bust out one of W’s old Texas Rangers hats and put their suggestions for the Iraq situation on folded up pieces of notebook paper into the hat and pick them out for discussion. Our country is being led by a moron, and we’ve still got two years to go in his reign of error.
- Eloyn Ingraham of Tamarac, Florida did not shoot the sheriff, but he did shoot the deputy. As always with the criminal geniuses who populate our great nation, at least Ingraham had good provocation for shooting and killing a police officer…..he had gotten pulled over at a routine traffic stop. Correct me if I’m wrong, but killing a law enforcement officer can definitely get you the death penalty. Yeah, getting out of a speeding ticket is definitely worth being executed over. The more idiots like this that we have out there, the fewer acceptable arguments the NRA and other gun-activist groups have for the average American’s right to possess and carry guns. Your right to hunt Bambi and have a gun in your car is worth having cops killed? Guns don’t kill people, stupid people with guns kill people. Take the guns out of the equation and people like this police officer don’t get shot and killed.
- Spain has the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, and Madrid has……..the Running of the Sheep. Angry farmers paraded their filthy, smelly, unsanitary sheep through downtown Madrid over the weekend to advocate the protection of ancient grazing routes now being threatened by urban sprawl. No word on whether the sheep were carrying their own picket signs or had protest messages carved into their wool, but about 700 of them were accompanied by donkeys, horses and a few humans. Better yet, this is the fourteenth year of this protest, which advocates the protection of 78,000 miles of ancient paths used for grazing. So for those planning a visit to Spain, early November is one of those times you’ll want to avoid.
- Oh, how I love environmental activists. That love is rooted firmly in the fact that so many of them are whack jobs that do absolutely insane things to protest issues that no one cares about and that aren't all that substantial in the grand scheme of things. Whether it’s living in a tree for months to keep it from being cut down or the most recent stunt against nuclear development and proliferation. The Robin Wood (sounds like a porn actor, honestly) environmental group suspended two of its members from a rope that was stretched across railroad tracks in Dannenberg, Germany, to stop a train carrying reprocessed nuclear waste. And whaddya know, trees were involved. Two additional activists in nearby trees supported the rope while the other two climbed out on it and chained themselves to the rope above the tracks. Of course, what would have been better than the train somehow derailing to try and avoid hitting these two tools and spilling nuclear waste all over? That would have been a great boon for the environment that the Robin Wood group is so desperate to protect. Think these things through next time, fellas, and if all else fails, just chain yourselves to some more trees.
- At what point does a band or music group cease to be a group, i.e. what percentage of actual original members need to still be alive and/or a part of the band? This question arises because The Who, well, the two remaining members of popular rock group, Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend, have a new album, Endless Wire released as an album by The Who. So if at some point it’s just Daltrey left, can he go into the studio, lay down some drum tracks, drop in the guitar chords, then record the bass lines and top it all off with some vocals and declare it another album by The Who? I’m not knocking the album itself, critics are saying good things about it and I’ve long been a fan of the band. All I’m saying is find a new name for your group, give us some truth in advertising. People will still recognize you as Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend, who were members of The Who. But doing things as you are, you are leaving the door wide open for Joey Fatone, in about two decades or so, to bring us a new album by N’Sync on which he sings all of the crappy vocals, does all of the choreographed dance moves and has all of the frosted hair while wearing very manly outfits straight from the Gap.
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