- As if you needed further reasons to ignore awards shows like the American Music Awards……..the fact that it’s essentially the same unimaginative, predictable show every year doesn’t help. Same group of performers, same run of the mill nominees, no real new artists in the spotlight……..and any show that honors the Black Eyed Peas in any way, shape or form has zero credibility with me. Take a look at the winners and try to find a single fresh, quality name among them: Sean Paul, Kelly Clarkson, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nickelback, Eminem, Shakira……you get the point. Performers, more of the same: Beyonce, Gwen Stefani, Jay-Z. And it’s not that all of these artists are awful; some are great, such as Jay-Z, but it’s more of the same, like some select country club group that you have to get on a five-year waiting list to join. Not to mention there’s a new awards show on every other week, so that further dilutes any remaining significance that events like the AMA have.
- If two insignificant daytime talk show hosts have a catfight, does anyone really care? Rosie v. Kelly is the current skirmish, Rosie being fat, obnoxious, rude, unfunny militant lesbian Rosie O’Donnell, and Kelly being unnaturally perky and cute-as-a-button Kelly Ripa. Ripa had a squabble with waifish, effeminate crooner Clay Aiken when he co-hosted Regis & Kelly with her recently. The details of the Aiken-Ripa spat aren't all that vital, what’s funny is Rosie going militant lesbian and ripping Ripa (pun intended) and saying she would’ve been nicer and not made the comments she had made if it had been about, um, a more masculine, shall we say, celebrity. Pretty funny because no one actually knows if Aiken is straight or gay, but Rosie interjects that for no apparent reason. Seems someone is a little sensitive about the topic of sexuality. Ripa then blasted Rosie, and the fight rages on………….
- Nomination for “Best School Ever” goes to the Brooklyn Free School, an institution that is the absolute dream of anyone who has ever had to sit through a lecture on the digestive system of a frog or try to figure out the correct way to conjugate a Spanish verb. Students at this school don’t get grades, have homework, take tests and aren't required to attend class. They study whatever subjects they want, topics like horror movies, chess, debating, card games, etc. These types of schools, which were immensely popular in the late 1960s and early 1970s, operate on the assumption that students learn best when they want to and aren't forced to. At BFS, students are required to be in school for 5 ½ hours a day, but other than that, everything is up to them. I absolutely love this concept, even if it might lead to these kids growing up without being able to do some things that students at “conventional” schools can. Need proof of the school’s effectiveness? There’s a waiting list to get in, and if it were so awful, I doubt that would be the case.
- Every natural disaster or similar catastrophe brings with it touching tales of humanity and people lending a helping hand to their fellow man………along with tales of scuzzbuckets taking advantage of that generosity and making everyone have second thoughts about helping. Joshua and Delores Thompson, now of New Orleans, fall into the latter category. See, soon after Hurricane Katrina hit, these two came to the Temple of Deliverance Church of God in Christ (that’s a mouthful), located in Memphis, and told their tale of woe about being devastated by the storm, losing their home, blah blah blah. So there church’s members dug deep and actually bought the couple a $75,000 home in Memphis. So how do the Thompsons thank the members of the church? By never living in the home, turning around and selling it for $88,000 and then moving back to New Orleans. When confronted with allegations of impropriety, J. Thompson came up with the oh-so-clever and very Christian-like, “Take it up with God.” His wife, whom some church members doubt is really his wife at all, hung up on an interviewer when pressed about the ethicality of what she had done. This just makes you feel bad for all of the people impacted by the hurricane who really are trying to rebuild their lives and do it without being lying sleazeballs.
- Hate it when I lose one of my $154 million Mars surveyors, don’t you? NASA has that problem, although in all fairness, they did get 10 years of use out of the craft that scoured the red planet’s surface and sent information back to earth. Hey, I know you have six of these bad boys on Mars, but is it too much to ask that you keep track of them? Even with 10 years in service, that would be $15.4 million a year, which seems a bit steep of a price. I know, I know, when we find a way to live on Mars and create civilizations, this will all be worht it, sure. Funniest of all is listening to NASA dorks talk about the lost craft like it’s an old buddy of theirs, talking about great memories of it and what not. Fellas, put down your wire rimmed glasses, take off your pocket protectors and step out into actual sunlight for the first time in years. It’s a piece of machinery that you lost, not your best friend that you’ve known since grade school. But in the future, let’s try to keep closer tabs on things we pay $154 million for, K?
- The whole “fall finale” concept is spreading around TV like a virus. Now CBS is copying FOX and having a fall finale for Jericho. Every year, networks stick us with big gaps in the season for every show, especially around the holidays, when they figure people aren't watching as much TV because they have other things to do, but do we really need to label it as a fall finale and pretend like it’s something other than what it is. And what it is, is one more show during a season that you won't show the successor for until a couple months down the road.
- Props to the Chicago Cubs, I guess, for signing free agent IF/OF Alfonso Soriano to an 8-year, $136 million contract. I’ve been a Cubs fan since I was eight, so any move that might help the team suck a little less is welcome. What’s hilarious is that for years, the Tribune Co., owner of the Cubs, was viewed as a spendthrift, cheap entity that wouldn’t spend the cash to keep top players, such as Greg Maddux, who left for a Hall of Fame run with the Braves for a decade. Now, they suddenly have money to spend, and it’s good to see. Soriano strikes out a lot, but he’s a great leadoff hitter who joined baseball’s exclusive 40/40 club last year with 46 home runs, 41 stolen bases. But what the Cubs really need is perpetually injured pitchers Mark Prior and Kerry Wood to actually pitch a full year and not spend 3/5 of every year on the disabled list.
- Want to live in a neighborhood with a park of sex sculptures? If so, Huayre, Peru is the place for you. The residents of the city find the sculptures amusing, a slap in the face of national rulers who have for years wasted their money on extravagances and unneeded projects. So instead of taking newly-distributed money and putting it toward paved streets or a sewage system, neither of which Huayre has, the city and its leaders created sexually-explicit sculptures. Fantastic idea, Peruvians. After all, why install much needed services and roads when you can have the pleasure of flipping the proverbial middle finger at people you feel have wrong you in the past. So when major health problems arise because of the unsanitary conditions resulting from no working sewer system, you can point to the fact that you got over on the national leaders you despise with your sex sculptures. What a smart, well thought out plan. I think I’ve found a job for W once his term in office ends: mayor of Huayre. It’s a perfect fit, really.
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