Thursday, February 18, 2016

NFLers envy NBAers, the elderly don't give a f*ck and Kanye West gets investment offers


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! The power of rage was felt this week in the capital of Kosovo as thousands of enraged opposition supporters gathered to call for the government to resign. Those who united in Pristina accused the current regime of violating the country's constitution in reaching deals with Serbia and Montenegro and whether that’s true or not is irrelevant…as long as your primary goal is enjoying a fiery uprising. Opposition supporters flocked from all over the country on the anniversary of Kosovo's unilaterally declared independence in 2008, coming together in the capital to reinforce its calls for change. The opposition rejects a deal between Kosovo and Serbia reached last year because it gives more powers to ethnic Serbs in Kosovo. Back in December, the Constitutional Court decided that part of the agreement was not in line with the constitution and that has poured premium fuel on the opposition’s already-scorching fire of dissent. Not only that, these anti-establishment heroes are also against a border demarcation deal with Montenegro and have called for a referendum or fresh elections. Their tactics have ranged from the clichéd to the inspired, including protests like this week’s effort and tries to disrupt the work of parliament with tear gas, pepper spray and whistles. Molotov cocktails tend to work better than whistles, but even lame strategies are still strategies in this fight and it’s always good to see people rise up against a government they believe is failing to live up to its basic obligations and responsibilities……..


- The lying Kanye West asked and the world is answering. West recently told a bulsh*t sob story that he is $53 million in debt, revealing that news where everyone discusses their personal financial information - on Twitter. After making his big “I’m broke” reveal, West went on to ask Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg to bail him out by investing $1 billion in "Kanye West ideas.” Zuckerberg, who has previously promised to give away much of his fortune to various charitable causes, has amazingly not responded yet and it’s almost certainly because he’s finding a way to give Kanye not $1 billion, but $2 billion. While Zuckerberg may not have replied yet, noted world-class d-bag and sometimes-drug company CEO Martin Shkreli offered to buy the exclusive rights to West's latest album 'The Life of Pablo' for $10 million, later upping the offer to $15 million after quintupling the price of yet another life-saving cancer drug. But that was only the first of what will undoubtedly be many offers and it didn’t take long for the next one to roll in. Fellow rapper The Game has offered to invest $10 million in West and while that may only be 1 percent of the amount West originally asked for, it’s an actual offer - albeit on that is on the table if West "comes to Dubai and skydives wit us tomorrow." The Game then improved his offer with a second tweet. "I'll pay for the flight. It's 12 noon in #Dubai you got an hour to accept. Call/my phone or tweet #BlackJesus,” he wrote. Curiously enough, West hasn’t responded to the offer even though he previously produced the track “Dreams” on The Game’s 2005 debut album 'The Documentary.’ An offer for a free flight, paid skydiving AND a $10 million investment sounds like a pretty sweet deal……….


- Don’t sleep on the criminal capacities of the elderly. You don’t expect them to do much serious law breaking because they’re physically weak, slow and have lost a little bit of their swag from their younger days. But on the flip side, they don’t give a sh*t because they’ve been here longer than you, seen it all and may be shuffling off this mortal coil very soon. So the old do things like smuggle illegal cell phones into a prison to give to inmates by stashing said devices in their drawers. Enter  72 year-old Annie Mae Flood, who was a teacher at Calhoun State Prison near Albany, N.Y. She is now facing criminal charges after being caught smuggling phones into the prison where she was a teacher. Last year, guards received a security alert about Flood, prompting them to pull her out of the class she was teaching. A search revealed six cell phones hidden in her underwear. Apparently helping inmates learn to read and write doesn’t entitle one to bootleg iPhones into jail so inmates can use them to arrange drug deals and other criminal activities on the outside.  Calhoun County Sheriff Josh Hilton wasn’t too excited to learn that someone claiming to help his facility was instead blatantly breaking its rules. "It doesn't make sense," Hilton said. "A teacher supposed to be helping people but not by bringing in cell phones. Just awful." Hilton doesn’t believe that paying teachers such as Flood or other employees more will make them less susceptible to bribes from prisoners to break the rules, but given Flood’s punishment, she doesn’t have much incentive to stay on the straight and narrow. Her sentence for smuggling phones into prison is probation and community service, owing much to the state’s prison overcrowding issues that make lesser offenses such as this a low priority for the legal system………


- Many professional athletes dream of being a crossover star in movies, music or television. They want to expand their brand, show their diversity and build a career beyond the playing field. Seattle Seahawks safety Earl Thomas is dreaming a little closer to home, specifically the sports world in a different sport. Thomas, like a lot of people, was watching the NBA All-Star game and rather than marvel at the dunking prowess or 3-point-shooting ability of players facing no defensive resistance in a meaningless exhibition game in which points were scored at an almost incalculable rate, Thomas was paying attention to a different aspect of the game. He shared his thoughts on Twitter when he wrote, “The NFL should take notes from the NBA. Allow us to express our creativity without fining us. Celebrate our players while we R still living.” It was both a not-so-subtle shot at the NFL’s overbearing restrictions on celebrations during games and a slightly more subtle shot at the unsafe nature of the game that is killing far too many players far too early in their lives. The NBA All-Star Game may not be the best example because it’s a unique entity like all all-star contests in major American professional sports. The NFL’s lame-ass Pro Bowl features much more goofiness than a typical NFL game, so Thomas clearly chose to ignore that. Still, the NBA does allow much more of players’ personalities to shine through on the court and doesn’t insanely police minute fashion issues like the height of players’ socks and the color of their uniform accessories. Hoping for Roger Goodell and his sycophants to care less about those issues and more about things like head injuries, domestic violence by players and the health of battered former NFLers still might be too much to ask, though………

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