Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Iran v. volleyball equality, Dutch v. Nepalese tigers and when you're good at stealing cars


- Iran duped the world’s governing body for volleyball and honestly, it was easy to see this one coming. For some reason, the FIVB decided to award multiple international beach volleyball tournaments to the repressive Middle Eastern nation in spite of a 2012 ban on women attending men's volleyball matches, which came to be after the Iranian Ministry of Sports and Youth Affairs extended the 1979 ban on women attending games in soccer stadiums. You know, because soccer and volleyball are such depraved, sex-soaked sports that there’s no way women could safely be allowed inside the venues. Yet the FIVB was deked into believing that Iran would capitulate to its condition of allowing women to attend the five-day competition at Kish Island in order for the Iranian volleyball federation to host the men's event. To repeat, female fans are traditionally barred from attending male-only sports matches in Iran, the FIVB has to have some idea how evasive and uncooperative Iran has been with various international governing bodies on much larger issues in the past and yet, the organization believed what Iran sold it. Now that the tournament is underway and - shocker - women are not being allowed inside the venue, FIVB is insisting that "misunderstandings" in Iran were to blame for the ladies being turned away at the door. FIVB spokesman Richard Baker said "there were some misunderstandings with regard to security," which is code for, “We thought they would stop being repressive a-holes for five days because they said so, but we got played.” Iranian officials did claim that women could watch the matches from a café overlooking the venue, but that seems like a pretty lame cover-up attempt……….


- The Dutch are good people. They allow pot to be smoked legally, they grow great tulips, they kept Anne Frank safe for a long time as the Nazis lurked on their streets and they are damn good at soccer for a small nation at Europe’s northern edge. So what’s up with you, Nepalese tigers, trying to eat a Dutchman who was only trying to enjoy some of your abundant natural beauty? Gerard Van Laar was hanging out in the jungles of southwestern Nepal over the weekend when, as it turned out, hanging out saved his life. Van Laar and his Nepalese guide were hiking in Bardia National Park when he was attacked by a tiger, forcing him to climb a tree to escape. He remained their for a few hours and had the good humor to say that  he's lucky to be alive and will now have a story to tell when he returns home. "I was super lucky to be alive. I would have been dead if it had not been for Krishna (the guide)," Van Laar said. "All of a sudden, I heard a roar and a growl, and the tiger was heading toward us at full speed.” He may have escaped up that tree, but his guide was attacked and slightly injured as he ran away to draw the attention of the tiger. Just as Sherpas are the true heroes of all who come to Nepal to climb its mountains, that guide was a hero here. Yet the tiger returned and circled the tree while Laar tried to stay as quiet as possible about 20 feet above the ground. A couple hours later, the guide came back with help and his posse used sticks to drive away the tiger. After this rescue, the guide was hospitalized for a day. Van Laar was able to get away unharmed and made his way back to a safe place in Bardia, a protected national forest………..


- Oh, the power punk veterans are cracking jokes about each other like they’re still relevant and it’s still the 1990s. Blink-182 and Green Day used to matter, but then again, they used to play actual punk rock and not some diluted, pop-infused take on the genre. But both are still around in some form and Blink was supposed to have new music for the masses soon. That won't be happening just yet, as drummer  Travis Barker has revealed that they've 'done a Green Day' and scrapped all initial tracks for their forthcoming comeback album. It was an allusion to the fact that prior to releasing their album “American Idiot” in 2004, Green Day previously claimed to have written, recorded and scrapped roughly 20 songs for a different project, one they claimed was titled “Cigarettes and Valentines.” Barker noted that his band - with the addition of new member Matt Skiba, who came from Alkaline Trio to replace the embattled and at this point, former friend of Barker and Mark Hoppus - wrote 16 tracks for their new album, only to toss them all. Of course, those tracks will linger somewhere in the musical ether and re-emerge down the road as previously unreleased rarities that can be sold to make more money, but Barker is focused on what has emerged since the mass musical murder. "It’s honestly the best material we’ve written or put out in years,” Barker said. “I haven’t been excited about a Blink album like this in a long time. I’m 120 percent in.” By his estimate, the  new album is roughly 70 to 80 percent finished………..


- Some people just know what they’re good at in life and they stick with it. Nicole Dyment shouldn’t be vilified for identifying her skill set and trying to use it, even though the Maine resident is in jail once again because she has been accused of stealing a man's car while he was picking up takeout food. She made her first court appearance today after - allegedly - stealing a car belonging to a man who stopped at the Green Tea Restaurant in Sanford and made the regrettable decision to leave the vehicle idling while he went inside to pick up an order. Amazingly, the car was gone when he returned and even more amazingly, the investigating officer recognized the woman in surveillance video as the woman he gave a ride to a few hours earlier. Oh, and police were also familiar with Dyment because she was accused of stealing a hard-cider truck and crashing it into a barn in December, so they knew she had a vehicle heist in her. Officers found the stolen vehicle from the diner the following day at a Lewiston apartment complex, which is also conveniently where they arrested Dyment. One could argue that while she’s good at taking vehicles that don’t belong to her, her getaway and stay-free skills aren't so good, but those people would be nitpicking cynics who refuse to enjoy a criminal genius doing what she does best. Maybe the better idea is for Dyment - once she’s free again - to find a partner in crime who can bring the much-needed IQ and evasive maneuver skills she needs to go with her car-jacking muscle………

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