Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Bizarre baseball injuries - Pt. 3,587, Venezuela v. free commerce and Wu Tang v. Action Bronson


- The excellence is in the execution. Having a better plan and not being a moron helps, though. Two thieves suspected of stealing an ATM machine from a business in Snohomish County, Washington failed on almost every level of that system when they jacked the machine from a business near Lynnwood at around 11 a.m., cut the cables to the ATM and loaded it in to their van. Unfortunately, the thieves failed to find out how much the ATM weighed, if it would fit into the van and whether the van could complete the getaway with the added weight. Thus, they only made it as far as the parking lot before the machine fell out of the getaway van. Sheriff's spokeswoman Shari Ireton said deputies have recovered the ATM machine, which they believe fell out of the van when the men drove too fast over a speed bump. The only part of this entire amateur hour operation that showed a shred of sense is after the ATM fell out of the van. At that point, the suspects drove away without it. Not surprisingly, the van had been reported stolen from nearby Kent and deputies found the van idling the morning after the failed heist. It was  impounded so deputies could look for evidence and if the way this terrible plan unfolded is any indication, there will be plenty of evidence with which to track down these two morons and make sure they face both the scorn and justice due to them after one of the worst criminal efforts of the year………..


- Are the rap wars back? Probably not, but Wu Tang Clan rapper Ghostface Killah is doing what he can to keep the hate flowing by threatening to set fellow rapper Action Bronson's beard on fire in a filmed rant posted online. Bronson is white and uses his Albanian ethnic background pretty damn well in his rap game, showing the sort of game that should earn him respect. In the rap game, respect often comes in the form of a rival taking a shot at you and in the video, Ghost can be seen  talking directly to camera and calling out Bronson, who has repeatedly been compared to him in the past. "First of all you little fat f*ck, who gives you the right to even mention my name out your mother*cking mouth," Ghostface says. "Boy you done made a mistake boy. You done f*cked up. Because listen man, you could never fuck with my pen. My sword, my blade, whatever you want to call it, I’m too nasty for you. This is why the f*ck you look up to me, and sound like me." That was enough vitriol in and of itself, but Ghost wasn’t done. In fact, he was just ramping up to threatening actual physical violence against Bronson. "You walk around the club with no shoes on, a big ass beard that one day I might set on fire just for saying my name. Doing 25 years doesn't sound so good, but I got shooters who'll do that,” Ghost said. “Those shooters are not from New York. I don't think you know the magnitude of what you have done." Bronson is based in New York, so keeping an eye out for any actual trouble from this might be a good idea………


- Venezuela must be a fun place to do business. When your government can hijack your operation and order you to distribute food staples to a network of state-run supermarkets amid chronic shortages of basic goods, it has to be uplifting and not at all frustrating. That’s precisely what private companies in Venezuela say the government has ordered them to do. According to the Food Industry Chamber, authorities ordered producers of milk, pasta, oil, rice, sugar and flour to supply between 30 percent and 100 percent of their products to the state stores. If you’re the government and can flex that kind of muscle, it’s a great plan because  there are 15 times as many private stores in the socialist South American country as state-run ones. Chamber President Pablo Baraybar claims the order could cause major supply problems and as expected, the government isn't commenting. Underneath all of this is the strife caused by rigid currency controls and a shortage of U.S. dollars, both of which make it difficult for Venezuelans to find imported goods. The rigidity with which the government reigns over businesses and stifles their ability to function on a daily basis is both sad and sadly amazing. Many of those companies complain that such controls make it hard to turn a profit and justify production. Speak the truth and fight the power, y’all……….


- Baseball injuries are the best. They come from some of the best athletes in the world getting taken out doing mundane tasks the rest of us perform on a daily basis with no trouble and yet, these millionaires in spikes can't navigate them without spraining, straining or breaking something. Minnesota Twins rookie Miguel Sano became the latest entry to this dubious list and while he didn’t miss a game due to a sunburn from a tanning booth, shred his elbow throwing out a trash bag full of watermelon rinds or twist his neck putting on a hat that was a size too small, he did go down in embarrassing fashion when he sprained his right ankle stepping on a ball during infield drills Saturday and was out of the lineup Sunday. He played Saturday as the designated hitter despite the injury, but the ankle got worse as the game progressed and he finished 0-for-3 with three strikeouts with a sacrifice fly in the ninth inning that gave the Twins the lead before Oakland rallied to tie, later winning in extra innings. Sano left the stadium on crutches and will be sidelined for a few more days thanks to a ball that was rolling in from the outfield when he was doing first base drills. "We should have done a better job of clearing the field,'' Twins manager Paul Molitor said. The injury came at a bad time, as Sano impressed in his first 13 games in the majors, batting .326 with two home runs and nine RBI. His fast start is now on pause because the cutoff man for the outfielders couldn’t snag that ball rolling free during outfield practice and baseball lore has another awesome MLB injury to add to a book rapidly filling up with them………

Monday, July 20, 2015

Wyoming rifle drama, Tour de France human waste fun and when man bands implode


- Who the hell could have seen this coming? Groups of eight wannabe pop stars cobbled together by a reality TV show that creates music in the most horribly artificial setting possible are ALWAYS incredibly stable and never come apart quicker than the plot of a $200 million Michael Bay movie. That’s what makes it so totally stunning that Stereo Kicks, a man band stitched together on the British incarnation of “X-Factor,”  have announced their decision to split after less than a year together. These eight attention whores began life as solo artists in the 2014 series of the reality karaoke show and were brought together as a group by mentor Louis Walsh. The best part of these eight being assembled like a bad pop music version of Frankenstein’s monster is that they were eliminated at the quarterfinal stage of the show. Nothing says future musical world changers quite like being unable to outlast a half-dozen other wannabe karaoke hacks and getting jammed together as a group and yet, Stereo Kicks lasted longer than any other of the groups that went as far as they did on the show. Their legendary run included total failure to sign with a label and releasing just one single, 'Love Me So,’ which charted at No. 31 in June in the United Kingdom. This is the sort of musical loss from which the world doesn’t easily recover, so if everyone reading this needs to pause, take a deep breath and let some of the hurt out before continuing, feel free……….


- Is it important for everyone to actually show up when talks are held with the goal of ending unrest caused by the president of a country’s controversial bid for a third term? It seems like it might be a bit of an issue if government representatives fail to show up for negotiations and according to the facilitator of talks in Burundi, that’s precisely what happened.  Ugandan Defense Minister Crypus Kiyonga, who is acting as mediator, announced that the mediation process had to be adjourned just days ahead of Tuesday's presidential polls. Ever the optimist, Kiyonga stopped short of saying the talks had collapsed and said the government should be given a chance to explain itself, so maybe he is the right man to keep this process going. Then again, earlier United Nations-backed negotiations between the parties collapsed after the opposition insisted on President Pierre Nkurunziza's exit, so there’s an even better chance that this process was doomed from the start because neither side is willing to compromise and work with the other to achieve a fair and equitable solution. In the meantime, Burundi continues to be beset by violence that has left more than 100 people dead and over 144,000 refugees have fled the country since Nkurunziza announced his bid for a third term in April. One can only hope he wins that vote because clearly, he’s doing a wonderful job of uniting his country under his bold, visionary leadership………..


- The question isn’t whether a Tour de France spectator yelling "Doper!" and hurling a cup of urine at tour leader Chris Froome is a bad thing or not, but rather how we can get more of this sort of thing in cycling’s signature event. Froome may take exception to Stage 14 being “marred” by some kook who either pissed into a cup or worse still collected someone else’s urine and held it for hours to throw at a total stranger on a bike, but he shouldn’t. Before the alleged urine toss, how many people outside the cycling world were talking about the Tour de France? This thing hasn’t been relevant in mainstream sports since Lance Armstrong was doping and intimidating his way to seven titles and his ride at the front of the pack ended a decade ago. If it takes this sort of incident to return cycling to the top of the sports news list, so be it. "That's unacceptable on so many levels," Froome said . "He just sort of launched this cup toward me." British rider Stephen Cummings won the race, but it was a harsh day for Froome and his team. Prior to their top rider being doused with human waste, teammate Richie Porte said another person, also seemingly a spectator, punched him a few days earlier on a climb in the Pyrenees. As the leader of the biggest event in one of the dirtiest sports in the world, Froome has faced pointed questions about his dominant performance and alleged doping, but  "I'm not going to give up the race because a few guys are shouting insults." Despite dodging an artificial golden shower and not winning the stage, Froome was able to extend his already comfortable overall lead and fittingly, remain the holder of the signature yellow jersey that goes to that leader………


- Is anyone missing a really, really old gun they accidentally left in the Nevada desert and never went back for? If so, stop by the Cody Firearms Museum in Wyoming and claim it because right now, it’s merely on display for the masses after being found in the Great Basin National Park leaning against a juniper tree in November. The 130-year-old rifle found in the Nevada desert last year has raised plenty of questions that have yet to be answered. It’s a Winchester 1873 rifle  that was carefully collected and shipped to the museum, where its weathered wood was stabilized with an alcohol solution. “You have this gun that no one really knows what happened to it and it gets so much attention because of that,” said Ashley Hlebinsky, curator at the museum. The museum clearly went all out when it got the gun, going so far as having a team of researchers carry the firearm to a local hospital to be X-rayed under the patient name “Rifle.” Museum workers determined the rifle, which was massed produced and is billed as the “gun that won the west” was made in 1882, but they have nothing pointing them in the direction of its original owner. The gun’s lifter was removed so it was only capable of firing a single shot at once and trying to determine its origins has been difficult. Wildlife officials have no record of a fire in the region, which would help them date the gun's presence at the tree, had it survived the flames. Having the gun shrouded in mystery is actually better for business for the museum, which has the rifle preserved and on display, surrounded by 7,000 other guns. Even amongst the trappings of an NRA enthusiast’s wet dream, Hlebinsky said the Winchester is the star of the show. “I think a lot of it has to do with the allure and the mystique,” Hlebinsky said. “Why was it leaning up against that tree, how long has it been there, who left it and why.” Wouldn’t it be something if this entire controversy was one cooked up by a small town firearms museum in a slick effort to get people through its doors……….

Sunday, July 19, 2015

China v. Maroon 5, NYPD v. corrupt officers and Tokyo v. Olympic cost overruns


- The eurozone is a fiscally troubled place right now. Greece is a financial black hole, several other nations are teetering close to the brink and Portugal is green-lighting new laws that will clear the way for rich people to move there. Technically Portugal's government has merely approved new procedures it hopes will remove legal obstacles that have halted granting residence permits to wealthy investors from outside the European Union, which is a nice way of saying we need cash. The so-called Golden Visa program was launched three years ago to help the country out of a debt crisis and in many respects, it has been a rousing success…in helping China get a foothold in western Europe. So far, this international charity program has brought investments totaling more than 1 billion euros ($1.4 billion), with most of the permits awarded to Chinese, but there have been hiccups.  There was that pesky police investigation into suspected corruption and money-laundering involving officials overseeing the program, which prompted the government to tighten controls and implement  a new law covering the program which came into effect July 1. Like any good national government, Portugal’s regime failed to set required administrative procedures, leaving the Foreigners' Service unable to issue permits. If that isn't bureaucratic ineptitude at its finest, nothing is. Those rules have now been established and all that is left is final approval by Portugal's president. Given how much of a clusterf*ck this entire process has been so far, even that might not be a sure thing at this point………..


- Completed stadium? Who needs a completed stadium to host major international sporting events? Japan may get there eventually, but for right now its plans to build an actual venue for the 2020 Olympic Games in Tokyo are troubled at best. Japanese officials have scrapped the design of the Olympic stadium because of soaring costs and will open bidding for a new plan. That’s not only concerning for the Olympics, but it also t leaves the 2019 Rugby World Cup without a main venue. "We have decided to go back to the start on the Tokyo Olympics-Paralympics stadium plan, and start over from zero," Prime Minister Shinzo Abe said. "The cost has ballooned just too much." This should in no way increase the heat on the government, which has been under mounting criticism as the estimated cost of the new National Stadium rose to $2 billion, nearly twice as much as the initial estimate. Abe said he received the support of other officials before instructing the sports and Olympics ministers to immediately prepare a process to choose a new stadium plan. "I have been listening to the voices of the people and the athletes for about a month now, thinking about the possibility of a review," Abe said. The response from the Tokyo 2020 organizing committee wasn’t exactly enthusiastic and the committee noted that "we would like to ensure that the construction of the stadium is completed in time for the 2020 Olympic and Paralympic Games." All of this is not exactly what the International Olympic Committee had in mind with its "Olympic Agenda 2020" reform program, which seeks to make the games less expensive and ensure long-term use of venues. Granted, the IOC talking about keeping costs down is a bit like Snoop Dogg talking about smoking a bit less chron in that you know the words are hollow and it will never happen, but the thought it nice………


- New York City police have received a lot of heat for unfair policies and actions targeting certain ethnic groups and minorities, but it’s good to know that they can show a bit of leniency when it’s totally not needed. Enter 19 New York Police Department employees — one lieutenant, eight sergeants, nine officers and one detective — who worked at the 40th Precinct in the Bronx and face charges of misreporting crimes during a four-month period last year. Officials in the nation's largest police department said they uncovered dozens of instances of crimes misreported and wrongly downgraded by officers thanks to an anonymous tip to internal affairs. Those 19 employees now face departmental charges and possible punishments ranging from a loss of vacation days to possible dismissal from the department if they are found guilty. Commissioner William Bratton took over the 35,000-officer department last year and has locked in on ensuring that crime complaints are accurately reported. "The purposeful misrepresentation of crime data is rare but nevertheless unacceptable, and it will be dealt with accordingly," Bratton said. The investigation was carried out by the department's Quality Assurance Division and a risk management bureau tasked with weeding out problem officers. It uncovered 55 instances in 1,558 complaints of crimes downgraded or misreported within the precinct, with the offending officers accused of downgrading or misreporting low-level crimes such as petit larceny, not killings, rapes or shootings. The NYPD's deputy commissioner for legal matters, Lawrence Byrne, explained why accurate crime numbers are critical. "We need the public to trust those numbers, and we make resource assignments of officers, how they spend that time, in large part based on those numbers," Byrne said. Wonder how many of those downgraded offenders were questionably stopped and frisked by NYPD officers…………


- China, you’ve been saved. You were about to be subjected to a pair of shows by one of the most hack-tacular musical outfits in the game, but your government has crushed Adam Levine and his pals like protestors under the treads of a tank rolling through Tiananmen Square. See, Maroon 5 were scheduled to perform in Beijing and Shanghai in September as part of an Asian tour. These glorified man-banders with instruments would have tormented Chinese ears with their special brand of musical awful, consisting of Levine’s falsetto crap on lead vocals, all the musical edge of Dora the Explorer and the lyrical sophistication of a sledgehammer to the eardrums. Instead, those shows were scrapped earlier this week and while no official explanation has been given, word on the street is that Maroon 5 have been banned from China after showing support for the Dalai Lama. Keyboardist Jesse Carmichael wished the Dalai Lama a happy 80th birthday earlier this month and linked to a photograph on Instagram, but both posts have since been taken down. He also reportedly attended a party celebrating the Buddhist leader's birthday in the United States and because China views the peaceful religious leader as an anti-establishment rebel looking to topple its Communist regime and plunge the world into a fiery hell of evil and disaster, that’s enough to earn a spot on the Asian power’s refused entry list. This marks one of the first times in recorded history where China’s government has actually acted in the best interests of its people and hit the mark………

Saturday, July 18, 2015

"Jersey Shore" spreads to the world, don't f*ck with siestas and a world-class felon in Rhode Island


- Fenway Park has long been rapped for being too small and lacking space for the expected amenities at a modern Major League Baseball stadium. If there isn't room to expand and add in more restrooms and bigger clubhouses, though, at least the Boston Red Sox can make better use of the space they have to go green - and not just with the park’s famed Green Monster wall in left field. Now, the Sox are growing vegetables and herbs in a rooftop garden and using the produce in food and cocktails sold at the concessions, at nearby restaurants and in the team's flagship restaurant that prepares meals for about 40,000 people during home games - all at a substantial markup, of course. Yes, that lettuce may have cost less than 50 cents to grow, but each leaf of it is going to sell for abiut 100 times its actual cost, just like every other food item in an MLB park. The garden, which measures 5,000 square feet and is located on the third-base side of Fenway, was planted in a previously unused part of the historic stadium and interestingly enough, it is not the first garden growing in a Major League Baseball stadium, according to Chris Knight, manager of facilities services and planning for the Red Sox. Fans have responded well to the sight of  a lush, green garden on the third level of the stadium. It’s an odd garden because its crops are grown in milk crates, making it possible to move the farm if needed. A company called Green City Growers is responsible for planting and maintaining the garden and it uses intensive methods, including drip irrigation and planting fresh crops right after others are harvested. So far, the garden has yielded more than 2,000 pounds of tomatoes, cucumber, eggplants, all sorts of peppers, rosemary, basil, dill, parsley, tarragon and kale in the first three months. Sadly, not quinoa so far……..


- Anyone who has ever traveled to Spain knows that you do NOT f*ck with the siesta. The Spanish take their midday napping seriously and some places elevate simple snoozing to a science - places like Ador, a small farming town in eastern Spain. Perhaps it’s a ploy to get international attention, maybe it’s sheer laziness or it could be something in between, the in Ador, every summer day sees a local police officer read out a town hall proclamation recommending that locals observe the traditional siesta period between 2 p.m. and 5 p.m. In exactly the fashion you’d want to receive a suggestion that you lay down, close your eyes and cease with being productive for a few hours, the advice is blasted over a loudspeaker system. It encourages people to keep children indoors and turn down the volume of TV sets and music equipment and while that may sound like what the crotchety old man down the street demands those damn kids do after getting off his lawn and pulling up their sagging pants, Mayor Joan Faus said the town hall strongly recommends they stay indoors because "at that time of day it is dangerous to be outside" because of the summer heat. Faus, who noted that locals are not legally required to observe the siesta period, claimed that town authorities and other nearby municipalities have been issuing the recommendations for years. It’s fitting that government officials are urging people to be as unproductive as possible because it makes them look less lazy for doing the same on a regular basis, so credit to Ador’s leaders for finding a subtle way to mask the inefficiency of their slacker regime……….


- Somewhere, Snooki, The Situation and Ronnie are fist-pumping, downing another Irish car bomb and looking for someone to punch out of sheer elation. “Jersey Shore” may have died a long overdue death in 2012, but MTV’s concept of jamming six or seven appearance-obsessed ass hats with precious little self-awareness into a beachside house and putting a drink in their hand from the time they wake up until they pass out drunk and half-clothed in the middle of the boardwalk is alive and well and now it’s going to the place where the rich, privileged and foam-party-loving of the world travel to get their drug-fueled freak on. Yes, MTV has announced plans to make an “Ibiza Shore” reality series. It will be a sort of all-star show uniting cast members from several international versions of MTV's popular 'Shores' franchise, including Spain's “Gandia Shore,” Mexico's “Acapulco Shore” and "surprise arrivals from Italy and Brazil.” In other words, all of the usual drama of people too old for college but not old enough to feel bad about contributing nothing of worth to society but with the added possibility of racial and cultural tensions added in.  "Everyone knows Ibiza is one of the party capitals of the world, so we can't wait to see what happens with this unique mix of characters, personalities and cultures," MTV executive Tiago Worcman said in a statement. The network is reportedly  “excited to…take the Shores franchise to the next level.” It may be next level, but it will never be able to match the magic of “Jersey Shore,” which launched the franchise in 2009 and immediately made everyone who saw even two seconds of an episode lose 50 IQ points before they could find the remote and change the channel. You’re welcome, world, for America’s greatest cultural contribution now infecting the rest of the planet……….


- Some men accomplish more in three decades of life than the rest of us will get done in three times that many years on this planet. Brandon Hayes of Central Falls, Rhode Island is one of those men and sadly, it’s likely going to cost this rebel without a cause a lengthy prison sentence. That tends to happen after your 41st arrest, an arrest that came when Hayes was in a car that was pulled over for traffic violations on Interstate 95 in Warwick, state police Col. Steven O'Donnell said. O’Donnell performed what he thought would be a routine traffic stop when things turned shady on account of Hayes, a passenger in the vehicle, stashing three bags of marijuana on his person. Oh, and the trooper also found out that  as the vehicle was pulling over, Hayes removed a loaded handgun from his waist and put it under the passenger seat. Weed and a gun? That’s not a recipe for success when you already have more than three dozen arrests on your record. O’Donnell located the 9mm pistol along with drug packaging material in the trunk and Hayes was subsequently charged with several drug offenses and with being a felon in possession of a firearm. This multi-state felon has racked up  38 arrests in Massachusetts and two in Rhode Island, including gun and drug charges, state police said. The last time Hayes was behind bars was 2012, when he served 18 months for an assault conviction. It should be good for him to be back home and he’s likely to be there for a long time, as a conviction for his latest gun charge could mean up to 10 years behind bars. That’s sad mostly because it’s going to seriously impair his pursuit of that impressive 50-arrest rap sheet……….

Friday, July 17, 2015

Riot Watch! Greece, MLB expansion and Daniel Craig is a massive egomaniac

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- Maybe it’s best that a lush who stumbled onto railroad tracks in upstate New York and took a nap won't remember much of what happened on the night his life nearly ended. Now, this drunk won't remember the sheer terror of barely escaping injury after being run over by a freight train. His booze-induced nap left him asleep on the tracks in the Rensselaer County town of Schaghticoke, 20 miles north of Albany, during which time a Pan Am freight train more than a mile long approached around 10:30 p.m. Thankfully, someone involved in this situation was sober, responsible and thinking clearly. The conductor spotted Aaron Collins on the tracks and stopped the train, but the first two engines rushed over the Collins before all of the cars came to a complete halt. According to state troopers who responded to the scene, the engines were separated and the first engine was moved forward to free Collins, who was uninjured but still drunk. He received a free ride to an Albany hospital for evaluation and a chance to continue napping it out in a place where there was a decidedly lower chance of a multi-compartment vehicle crushing every bone and organ in his body and bringing his life to a whiskey-soaked ending without him even realizing what was happening. A cynic might argue that Collins has a drinking problem, while an optimist might call him one of the luckiest men in the world……..


- Score one for humility for 007. Daniel Craig is kind of a big deal in Hollywood and he’s having none of any suggestion that he might subjugate his massive ego for a moment to have some fun as a relatively anonymous bit player in the next installment of arguably the most iconic science fiction franchise ever.  Simon Pegg, whose own cameo appearance in JJ Abrams'  “Star Wars” film has officially been confirmed, dared to suggest that Craig would also be making an appearance as a Storm Trooper in the seventh installment of the franchise. “Daniel Craig, he's a Storm Trooper... I shouldn't have said that,” Pegg said. Of course, it took about five seconds for that to work his way back to Craig, who could easily have laughed it off or even seized on a chance to have a few minutes of fun by seeing if Abrams would actually cast him, instead could not wait to let everyone know how far beneath him a cameo as an outer space soldier would be. "Why would I ever bother doing something like that? F*cking hell! Pffft. Play an extra in another movie?" Craig asked, probably in rhetorical fashion.  "He's (Pegg) just jealous because he's not in Star Wars. He's got some issue with J.J. I don't know what the f*ck it is.” So Craig seemingly doesn’t know that Pegg is actually in “Star Wars: The Force Opens,” which will hit theaters in December, one month after Craig’s next Bond movie, “Spectre,” which makes its cinematic debut Nov. 6. Here’s hoping for a flood of cameo offers for the egomaniacal Craig in the meantime……….

- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! By this point, many are asking the obvious question: Can Greeks still be that angry on a daily basis after literally two straight years of raging against the European Union machine? The answer, of course, is yes. Just ask the rioters who hurled petrol bombs at police who responded with tear gas during an anti-austerity demonstration outside parliament in the latest fight over contentious measures needed to start negotiations on a new bailout and avoid financial collapse. As has often been the case in Greece’s uprising, the youth led the way. Massive mobs of youths among the more than 12,000 demonstrators smashed storefronts and set at least one vehicle ablaze in a textbook definition of rioting, the first significant violence since the left-wing Syriza government came to power in January promising to repeal bailout austerity. It’s reassuring the know that Greece hasn’t lost its riot game and in the end, at least 50 people were detained. The timing could not have been better as the riot coincided with  the start of debate on the bill, which includes consumer tax increases and pension reforms that will condemn Greeks to years of more economic hardship. The bill has enraged the governing left-wing Syriza party and led to a revolt by many party members against Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras, who is trying to sell the story that the deal was the best he could do to prevent Greece from crashing out of Europe's joint currency. That didn’t fly with civil servants, who protested with a 24-hour strike that disrupted public transport and shut down state-run services across the country. Syriza lawmakers are expected to vote against the package, though the bill is expected to pass anyhow. Should that happen, look for Athens to burn once more. You know, assuming the fires from the last one have gone out by now……….

- Major League Baseball doesn’t seem like a surging business bursting at the seams and in need of immediate growth. It’s fallen well behind the NFL and NBA in terms of popularity and for those under the age of 50, it’s not even on the radar most of the time. Yet commissioner Rob Manfred is painting a bull market picture of where MLB is headed and believes it  could ultimately include more than 30 franchises. Manfred, appearing at a luncheon at the All-Star Game in Cincinnati, expressed openness to the possibility of MLB expanding for the first time since the the league added the Arizona Diamondbacks and Tampa Bay Rays in 1998. "Maybe one of the reasons I got this job is, I'm bullish on this game," Manfred said. "I think we are a growth business, broadly defined. And over an extended period of time, growth businesses look to get bigger. So yeah, I'm open to the idea that there will be a point in time where expansion may be possible." Not only is he open to the idea, but Manfred said MLB has compiled a list of cities that might be viable options through expansion or possible relocation from existing markets. Ironically, Tampa Bay has been mentioned as a current market that could eventually risk losing its team, along with Oakland,  if their ongoing stadium issues are not resolved. The league intends to "examine their viability, think about what we can do to make them more viable, so that we have business alternatives that are available to us," Manfred said. The eclectic and varied list of possible new MLB cities includes Montreal, Charlotte, North Carolina, San Antonio, Portland, Oregon, Las Vegas, Oklahoma City, northern New Jersey, Mexico City and Monterrey, Mexico. Montreal, of course, lost the Expos in 1995 when they moved to Washington, D.C., and Mayor Denis Coderre met with Manfred in New York in late May to start a conversation about the city’s future with baseball……….

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Ignoring Grammy winners, a double-DUI NBA point guard and Riot Watch! Hungary


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! It’s on and the masses are enraged in Hungary, where hordes of irate protestors gathered to call on their government to abandon construction of an anti-immigrant fence of the border with Serbia and provide more support to refugees seeking asylum in the European Union. Apparently no one delivered the memo to these folks that fences are good and border crashers are to be avoided at all costs because some 800 of them went ape-sh*t at what was allegedly supposed to be a peaceful gathering, breaking through a makeshift barrier set up outside parliament as a symbol of their opposition to the 13-foot high fence which the government starting building this week. Credit for this fine display of dissidence goes to MigSzol, an organization which assists migrants and refugees, and MigSzol representative Amy Rodgers asked the Hungarian government to open more refugee camps and on the EU to create legal ways for refugees to reach Europe.  This issue is at the forefront because some 80,000 migrants and refugees have reached Hungary so far in this year and it’s an ironic twist because Hungary is one of the eastern European nations known for foisting its gypsy population on the rest of the continent. Dealing with Hungary’s unwanted unwashed masses is something of a difficult situation because most request asylum but leave for richer EU countries before their claims are settled. Why protestors are getting angry about people who use their country as nothing more than a stopover on their way to a better place is unclear, but any reason to riot is a solid reason……..


- Double dribbling is bad for a point guard. Double DUI arrests in a single year is worse. So as bad as former NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb looks for racking up a possible extreme DUI in Arizona for his second arrest for impaired driving in the past couple years, Denver Nuggets point guard Ty Lawson looks even worse for getting arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence in Los Angeles, marking his second DUI arrest in less than six months. California Highway Patrol Officer Jennifer Cassidy confirmed that Lawson was driving at a high rate of speed before being pulled over around 2 a.m. on state Route 101 in Hollywood, at which time he displayed several signs of intoxication. Making matters that much worse, the timing of the arrest could not have been worse. Lawson was already due in court Friday for his first arrest, although Denver District Attorney's office spokeswoman Lynn Kimbrough acknowledged that the second arrest could impact those proceedings. "Mr. Lawson posted a $1,500 bond in the Denver case earlier this year and is currently on pretrial supervision," Kimbrough said. "The conditions of his bond include no alcohol consumption and monitored sobriety." Monitored sobriety? What a buzzkill. Do you not realize that this dude is facing two DUI charges, spent a night in jail and is likely facing serious discipline from his team and the NBA? If ever there was a time a man needed a drink, this would be it. It has to be very reassuring to the Nuggets that the player to whom they’ve given the keys to their team when he’s on the court has such solid decision-making skills and the ability to handle pressure situations with a deft touch……..


- Totally harsh, U.S. Department of Justice, totally harsh. Janet Lim Napoles became extremely rich by questionable means and is serving up to 40 years in prison in the Philippines for illegally detaining a whistleblower, so why is the D.O.J. looking to pile on by attempting to seize $12.5 million in Southern California property and assets from this craft entrepreneur? The agency wants assets they contend Napoles bought for herself and her daughters with a decade's worth of money intended to fight poverty and before you judge a lady for robbing from the poor to make herself ridiculously rich, just know that the money went to some great causes. Those causes, or assets as authorities have deemed them, include a motel near Disneyland; properties in Covina and Irvine; money from the sale of a Los Angeles luxury condominium; a Porsche and a stake in a California-based consulting company. Unfortunately for Napoles, she won't be on hand to fight any of this in person because she’s behind bars halfway around the world for allegedly using bribes and kickbacks to siphon off Philippine government development funds and then allegedly attempting to detain a whistleblower who was set to torpedo her empire of greed. It’s a truly great story of a person chasing the American dream and refusing to allow anything - laws, common decency, integrity, honor, respect, compassion or honesty - to get in her way. Rather than looking to tear this empire down, maybe it’s time we all started appreciating it……….


- If a Grammy winner sings inside a crowded subway car and no one gives a damn, does it make a sound?  Ask Grammy winner - are we sure she actually did win one? - Brandy, who hopped aboard a subway train zipping ‘neath the crowded, bustling streets of Manhattan and found out that all people really want when using mass transit in New York City is to be left the hell alone so they can stick their nose in their phone or tablet and not have to talk to any strangers with questionable hygiene habits. The singer, disguised in a  hoodie, headscarf and glasses, decided to film herself singing a rendition of the song "Home” and despite the presence of a successful and world-famous recording artists displaying her vocal talents right in front of them, most of her fellow passengers paid much attention. In a video posted online, she was pretty much ignored. "Nobody heard me singing?" Brandy asked after she finished singing. "Nobody cares? OK." She posted the video anyhow and wrote about the experience on her blog.  "I decided to hit the subway and sing my little heart out,” she wrote. “You've GOTTA check out this video and see why this fun-filled morning left me asking: Can a Sistah get ONE fan?!" To be fair, one man did offer a few words of encouragement. "You got talent, man; go for it," he told her. "We've seen this a million times. You've gotta do something different." Tough freaking crowd, yo. But the man was right. Tyrese also recently took to the subway to promote his new independent album, "Black Rose." New York devours new trends quickly and moves on to the next big thing………..

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Fox hunting fights in Britain, The Prodigy debate going away and College Republicans v. the world


- Music is changing quickly and the idea of walking down to the local record store to pick up a copy of your favorite band’s new album is so far in the past that it might as well be etched onto stone tablets. But the idea of digital music marketplaces changing the industry doesn’t seem to be at the heart of The Prodigy’s suggestion that they may never release another full-length album. The veteran rockers released their sixth studio album, “The Day is My Enemy,” back in March and it did well, reaching the top of the album charts in the United Kingdom. That sort of success and the resulting financial benefits would convince most bands to keep chugging along well past the point where they should retire - no names mentioned….cough….Rolling Stones - but in spite of their continued success, The Prodigy recently claimed that their 25-year career could be drawing to a close. Yet even if they do follow through on the idea of retirement, it sounds like they no longer have the attention span necessary to crank out full-length albums on the regular. "We want to get to the point where we release EPs instead of albums. We're not really bothered about releasing albums any more,” member Liam Howlett said. “It just bores the sh*t out of me. The whole process just takes too long. If we can just get a couple of EPs written then we can get them out more quickly and it's better for everyone… time has changed, you know what I mean?" Yes, because investing time and effort into crafting an entire album is a thing of the past and most people don’t bother to listen to the whole thing anyhow………..


- Group your rifle, mount your trusty steed and get ready for an all-out brawl, British fox hunters. Prime Minister David Cameron's government announced a vote to loosen a decade-old ban on the divisive sport, putting fox hunting back on the table for discussion and sparking a predictable fistfight between those who believe it is a legitimate past time and those who consider it a cruel pastime reserved for the rich. After floating the idea for the vote, Cameron’s government suddenly called it off when it looked set to fail. Fox hunting is extremely divisive for Brits, with supporters claiming it is a vital part of rural life. Cameron's Conservative government announced plans for a vote on what it called "technical amendments" to the hunting ban in England and Wales - sorry, Northern Ireland - and opponents quickly pounced on the plan by labeling it an attempt to legalize hunting by stealth. The fourth cog in the United Kingdom machine, Scotland, also entered the fray when the separatist Scottish National Party announced Monday that it would oppose the changes — even though the party had promised to vote only on issues that affect Scotland. Given the vitriolic reaction to the mere idea of loosening the ban on fox hunting and the speed with which the government recoiled when the controversy sprang up, it seems fair to say that this plan and any other possible changes to the ban aren't coming any time soon………


- The debate over how far baseball teams should go to protect their fans has ramped up in recent seasons thanks to fans being struck by flying balls or splintered hunks of broken bats and now, an Oakland Athletics season-ticket holder wants to expedite the discussion.  A lawsuit was filed on behalf of Gail Payne, who has been attending A's games since 1968 and purchased tickets this year for Section 211 at the O.co Coliseum, and Payne is leading a group seeking class-action status on behalf of all fans buying season tickets in unprotected areas of major league parks. She wants the court to order Major League Baseball to extend the safety netting at its ballparks the entire length of the foul lines, an idea that isn't new and hasn’t found overwhelming sentiment on either side of the issue. There are those who side with Payne and want as much protection as possible and there are those who say they accept the risks that come with sitting close to the field, so to paint a picture as if there is a massive, angry mob demanding that commissioner Rob Manfred extend the screens that typically cover only a few sections behind the plate so that they run from foul pole to foul pole is inaccurate. The lawsuit, filed in the Northern District of California, claims among other things that three or four foul balls per game enter Payne’s section, which is along the first-base line beyond the safety netting. "She fears for her and her husband's safety and particularly for her daughter," the lawsuit says. "She is constantly ducking and weaving to avoid getting hit by foul balls or shattered bats." Lawyer Steve Berman of the Seattle-based firm of Hagens Berman insists the lawsuit is about safety and not money and said that there are 1,750 preventable injuries per year caused by foul balls and broken bats. That may or may not be accurate, but at least this should spark further discussion on an important issue……..


- Even at the collegiate level, Republicans can't seem to avoid stepping in it. It, in this case, is a seemingly ridiculous controversy that started with what was supposed to be a stunt to point out the silliness of banning unwanted activity by decree. Portland State University’s College Republicans chapter, in between bong rips, keg stands and streaking sessions through the middle of campus, sought permission to set up a table on campus to generate support for the idea of a proposed “murder free zone.” It seemed like a farcical way to bring attention to an issue most people ignore, but the group was expecting to get approval with no trouble. They were stunned when their request was denied because school officials said their effort could promote violence against them. That would actually require people to give a damn about the College Republicans, but any possible safety concerns were not enough to silence the group and First Amendment advocates who are keeping up the fight. “In the murder-free zone we were looking to create, nobody will be killed with guns, knives, sticks, or anything of the sort,” said Christian Bripschgi, political director of Oregon’s College Republican Federation chapter. Bripschgi made the mistake of assuming that getting permission to set up the table would be incredibly simply and said the idea behind the project was to advance a “murder-free zone” as a logical extension of the “gun free zones” on campus and in buildings across the Portland area. You know, mocking the idea of trying to eliminate gun violence and trivialize the issue by suggesting that it’s possible to affect change by implementing and enforcing rules and policies. “Our advisor signed off on our proposal quickly at first but became skeptical after she saw the nature of the content,” Bripschgi said. School officials, who have declined to comment publicly on the issue, determined the proposal could be “libelous,” “triggering” and cause people to attack the dorks who set up shop at a table that everyone would simply ignore on their way to the student union for lunch or as they sprinted through campus to get to their calculus exam on time. The Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) has joined in the fight with the College Republicans and they’re looking to take this one all the way to the top………

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Renaissance fair wench takedowns, Lauryn Hill's international woes and a much-needed MLB All-Star break


- Some teams need Major League Baseball’s All-Star break more than others. The Cincinnati Reds may be hosting this year’s All-Star Game, but most of the team will use the four days off to get away from the game and relax with friends and family. That’s definitely a good thing given how the team’s final game before the All-Star break transpired, with its best pitcher going MMA on a water cooler and its manager dubbing the last two games of the first half of the season “disastrous.” On Sunday, the Reds were b*tch-slapped by the terrible Miami Marlins for the second day in a row by a count of 8-1 and they turned in a gem by going 1 for 11 with runners in scoring position, committing two errors that led to three unearned runs and suffering a severe defensive lapse that saw them fail to cover third base. To top that off, ace Johnny Cueto threw a temper tantrum when he was pulled for a pinch hitter in the sixth inning and attacked a water cooler in an unprovoked hit job that sent ice scattering across the dugout floor. After the ugly loss, manager Bryan Price held a 30-minute clubhouse meeting. His team lost three of four games in the series and was outscored 22-4 in the final two games before he sent his team shuffling off into their four-day break. "The last two games were disastrous," Price said. "It was just not good baseball, and not the way we want to go into the All-Star break." Cueto, who was apologetic about his tirade after the game, has been the subject of constant trade rumors and even his manager didn’t have his back on this one. "It was not the right way to handle it," Price said. "We've discussed that, and he knows that.” Use the time off wisely, guys………


- Thieves with a conscience are either a great sign that the world isn't a total lost cause or a sad reminder that the corrupt among us don’t even have the courage to stick to their convictions…your call. It’s a debate woth having after an anonymous Israeli robber left two 2,000-year-old Roman sling stones at a museum with a typed note saying the stolen artifacts "brought me lots of troubles,” leaving Israel's Antiquities Authority to wonder who this person is and how this all went down.  An employee of the Museum of Islamic and Near Eastern Cultures in Beersheva, Israel, found the artifacts in a bag in the museum courtyard last week and the tale behind them should definitely add to the legacy of what were otherwise uninteresting relics of a distant past. According to the note left by the robber, he or she stole the artifacts 20 years ago from ancient Gamla, a Jewish town in the Golan Heights that was the site of a Roman siege in the first century, but made the decision to return them because of the ill fortune the items brought. The robber ended the note with the message, "Do not steal antiquities!" This person also thoughtfully included a map of the site in the bag with an "X'' marked on it, possibly marking where the stones were stolen. The fact that this individual had these stones for two decades and didn’t manage to monetize them at all is sad, so maybe it’s best that he or she gave them back because being a criminal isn't for everyone……….


- International concerts don’t seem to agree with Lauryn Hill of late. First, the pop singer canceled a concert in Israel due to her inability to book a corresponding gig in Palestine and while entering that part of the world successfully and uneventfully is difficult for anyone, getting into the United Kingdom really isn't tough for anyone. Getting boots on the ground at Heathrow isn't exactly invading Antarctica, yet Hill has been forced to cancel an upcoming gig in London because she claims she is unable to enter the United Kingdom for legal reasons. Hill was to perform at London's O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire on July 15, but the show will not go on and in a post on her Facebook page, Hill wrote that t her "past legal situation" prohibits her from entering England. "I’ve been informed that I won’t be able to enter the UK for a period of time due to my past legal situation,” Hill wrote. "For this reason I have to cancel my concert on July 15th. Know that I was looking forward to performing in London this summer, and that I appreciate all of my fans and supporters both in London, and throughout the UK. I look forward to seeing you again as soon as I'm able to." Back in 2013, hill spent three months in prison for failing to pay taxes on more than $1.4 million in earnings, but she then performed a series of shows in London last September following her release from prison. The former Fugees member hasn't released a studio album since 1998 and hasn’t been reliable as a live performer in recent years, including biting social media criticism for her London shows last year. She was nearly an hour and a half late to the stage and performed barely recognizable takes on her best-known songs, so maybe it’s best that this new show isn't going to happen………..


- Another hell of a weekend at the ye old renaissance fair, y’all. Any time you get a bunch of giant dorks of losers whose idea of fun is voluntarily transporting themselves back in time a couple of centuries to a time when the king’s English was the language of the land, electricity was still years away and corsets were just part of the wardrobe for ladies and jam them into the middle of some rural field where they try in vain to recreate the past - all while slamming massive amounts of mead and other vintage alcohol - things are going to get interesting. Think of it as Medieval Times only everyone is dressed in a ridiculous outfit and acting like they live in the shire and are under the protection of their local lord, making it a great setting for a drunken ass hat to face theft and assault charges for allegedly crashing  a jousting performance and trying to steal a sword. Meet Connor Ward, an attendee at the Colorado Renaissance Festival in Larkspur who slammed one too many mugs of mead and apparently became inspired to abscond with some kind of replica sword, at which point - no kidding at all - he was chased down by a woman dressed as a wench. Only at the ren fair does a woman unironically dressed as a wench serve as a de facto cop making a citizens arrest and holding a would-be thief in a headlock until Douglas County sheriff's deputies can arrive. Sheriff's office spokeswoman Deborah Sherman said that witnesses told deputies that one of Ward's friends tried to stop him from leaving with the sword, but it was the wench who made the save. Now it’s off to the stockade for Ward, who has officially found the most effective way to quadruple the normal shame a person would feel for attending a renaissance fair………..

Monday, July 13, 2015

Detonating Detroit, Korn tries to redeem Rihanna and illegal turtle sale needs finally met


- The real news isn't that something in Detroit was detonated because it was useless, decrepit and empty - it’s that there were actually buildings around it that didn’t fit that description. So it was this weekend that Detroit's Park Avenue Hotel, built in 1924, completed its inevitable journey from ritzy temporary downtown residence for those unfortunate enough to visit the D before it was a post-apocalyptic hell hole of bankruptcy and ruin and merely an ugly industrial city with zero charm to post-apocalyptic hell hole of bankruptcy. In the years since it actually mattered, the hotel became known as "Zombieland" and yet even that - combined with America’s abiding love of all things undead - was enough to keep it standing. Following stints as a senior housing complex and a rehab center, it followed the example of so many iconic Detroit buildings, becoming marked up with graffiti, devoid of inhabitants and turned into a pile of rubble. Before its demise, "Zombieland" was written in huge letters across the side of the building and this weekend, developers blew up the downtrodden hotel to clear the way for a sports and entertainment district featuring a brand-new Detroit Red Wings hockey stadium. Before its demise, the only thing the building was good for was as a target for photographers, filmmakers and artists looking to capture some images of something destitute, broken and hopeless. It became, in a sense, "ruin porn." As the Motor City tries to climb out of the bottomless valley of bankruptcy, such buildings are both a reminder of a time when the city was actually halfway decent and a sign of the new place on America’s socioeconomic landscape that Detroit should probably get used to occupying………..


- There’s just something wrong about an iconic nu-metal band like Korn having anything at all to do with the music of a manufactured pop princess like Rihanna. Even if it’s taking her latest crappy pop concoction, “Bitch Better Have My Money,” and turning it into fodder for your next foray into a mosh pit, it just feels wrong. The original track was released earlier this year and even as they released it, Korn have given no explanation for why they decided to rework the track. However it was chosen and for whatever reason it happened, the revised version appeared on the band's YouTube account over the weekend. As for the song’s original singer, Rihanna is set to release her new album “R8” later this year with “Money” and another single, “American Oxygen,” both on the track listing alongside the Kanye West and Paul McCartney collaboration 'FourFiveSeconds.” Both the song and the video have sparked quite a lot of talk despite the fact that the song is utterly terrible and the video merely a vehicle to crank additional life out of a truly forgettable tune and one of the co-directors for the video for “Money” recently said that Rihanna wanted to surprise people and make an impact with the controversial project. Of course, hearing the umpteenth terrible pop creation from an overly processed, artificial artist with little to offer the music world surprised no one, but it was still a noble effort on some level, somewhere, in some alternate universe………


- It’s long been an underserved market. That means it’s about damn time someone stepped up and filled the void of illegally offering endangered sea turtle hatchlings to whoever the hell actually buys endangered sea turtle hatchlings. According to a conservation group in St. Maarten, a local Internet marketplace there is offering up the tainted turtles and for some odd reason, these shell-huggers have problem with that. The Nature Foundation nonprofit says a "growing number of wild animals" are being advertised on local online sites, but fear not, because the organization also said it managed to intervene in the sea turtle sales over the weekend before the protected creatures were harmed. However, local police did not announce whether any arrests had taken place in conjunction with the case, though the Nature Foundation - a name that doesn’t sound at all generic or made up as some sort of front for a shady, possibly narcotics-related business - could have simply made the arrests on its own after distributing screenshots of what appear to be three leatherback hatchlings being offered for sale online. There have also been local ads pimping raccoons in recent days and NF official Tadzio Bervoets said the group closely monitors the Internet marketplaces for illegal wildlife sales. The drama here took place on Dutch St. Maarten, which shares a tiny Caribbean island with French St. Martin and everyone knows that if shady business is going on and either the Dutch or the French are possible suspects, put your euro on the Dutch………


- Many in the hockey world would argue that Washington Capitals star Alex Ovechkin has fallen well short expectations in the NHL. One of the league’s best and most talented players for a decade, he has yet to reach the Stanley Cup Finals and his teams have become known more for their playoff meltdowns than anything they’ve ever won. As his team’s best players, Ovechkin has borne the brunt of the heat for the Capitals’ playoff disappointments, but owner Ted Leonsis is trying to deflect some of that heat by stepping in an absorbing a few of the punches. "I feel I haven't met my commitment that we would build a team that would be able to win Stanley Cups,” Leonsis said. "The consistency he's brought is really historic. He plays hard all the time. We're in it together and he knows we're committed. He can sense it and see it." The Capitals failed to make the playoffs during the 2013-14 season, prompting Leonsis to hire a new general manager (Brian MacLellan) and new coach (Barry Trotz). That braintrust then added a pair of defensemen -- Matt Niskanen and Brooks Orpik -- via free agency and the retooled team  improved, making the Eastern Conference semifinals and building a 3-1 series lead over the Rangers before falling in overtime of Game 7. That failure to cash in three straight chances to advance to the Eastern Conference Finals was the latest in a series of playoff failures and led some to speculate that the Capitals with Ovechkin simply cannot get where they want to go, but Leonsis would have you believe that he’s largely responsible for how things have gone down……..

Sunday, July 12, 2015

Rivers Cuomo's sitcom D.O.A., Cali beaches get smellier and Utah football felons

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- The rage was real this weekend in Serbia, where a massive commemoration of the slaughter of Bosnia Muslims at Srebrenica 20 years ago turned into a near-riot when anger stemming from the occasion led members of the crowd to pelt Serbian Prime Minister Aleksandar Vucic with stones, water bottles and other objects. Hurling various heavy items at an elected official is always a solid use of your time and according to an aide, Vucic was hit in the face with a rock, breaking his glasses. Vucic's associate, Suzana Vasiljevic, said she was behind Vucic when "masses broke the fences and turned against us." Probably should have seen it comes, Suzy. Bring in tens of thousands of people to mark the 20th anniversary of Europe's worst massacre since the Holocaust — the slaughter of 8,000 Muslims from the eastern Bosnian town of Srebrenica — and intermingle them with foreign dignitaries urging the international community not to allow such atrocities to happen again and someone is bound to be offended. Vucic used to be an ultra-nationalist but tried to spin his appearance as a gesture of reconciliation and clearly miscalculated how that would go over. He fled the scene after coming under attack and Serbian Foreign Minister Ivica Dacic said that the attack on Vucic was an attack on Serbia. "By deciding to bow to the victims, Serbia's prime minister behaved like a statesman," Dacic said in a statement. "This is another negative consequence of politicizing this subject that has brought new divisions and hatreds instead of reconciliation." As if a man entering the cemetery to lay flowers and having thousands boo his presence and belt out angry whistles can’t bring a country together………..




- As always, if you’re going to get yourself charged with aggravated robbery and theft, at least have a damn good reason. Former University of Utah cornerback Dominique Hatfield knows what’s up and that’s why despite the fact that he was dismissed from the football team last week following his arrest, this guy is winning at life. One day, he’s a scholarship player for a Top 25 team and the next days, he’s kicked off the team because authorities have accused him of robbing a man at knifepoint who planned to buy an Xbox game console from him. Yes, the ol’ “Pull a knife on a dude who just wants to pick up a cheap used game console” trick, it works every time. Not only that, Whitfield is also accused of stealing and trying to sell cellphones. In other words, dude was apparently running a low-rent criminal enterprise while also playing football and possibly going to class from time to time. It’s impressive that he managed to keep it up for as long as he did, a streak that came to an end after Utah football coach Kyle Whittingham said in a statement that  there were further concerns about Hatfield's off-field behavior after he was suspended from the program Monday. The only one who seems optimistic here is Hatfield's attorney, Greg Skordas, who said the criminal case was headed in a positive direction and he was surprised by the dismissal. Skordas is clearly lying, but when your client is a junior from Los Angeles who started 10 games in 2014, you do whatever you can to keep him on the team………




- The beach is already a smelly place. It’s about to get its über-stank on at state beaches in California for the rest of the summer and possibly beyond, at the drought-stricken state has shut down outdoor showers at said beaches, forcing swimmers, sunbathers and surfers to get creative when it’s time to head home. Public rinse stations in all state-run beaches and parks will be shut down this Wednesday as the state battles a four-year dry spell as the latest step in a series of measures designed to keep California from drying up like a raisin. The severe drought has led Gov. Jerry Brown to order California communities to cut water use by 25 percent compared with 2013 levels and even state parks are not exempt. California State Parks said its 278 parks have successfully met the water reduction mandate, but some are located in areas with more water scarcity and will therefore have to further reduce consumption. Todd Lewis, acting superintendent for the department’s Orange Coast district, urged visitors to seek alternatives to the showers, such as using a broom to brush off their bodies or bringing their own water. Yes, because SoCal residents whose idea of slumming it is riding in a friend who has last year’s BMW 5 Series instead of the new model will carry a couple of extra gallon jugs of water with them or have a Dollar Store broom with them to brush off the sand. Shutting off public showers could save more than 18 million gallons of water annually, the department estimated, and California State Parks director Lisa Mangat said it is vital that “Californians conserve water at home, at work and even when recreating outdoors." Make sure to bring some air freshener for that ride home after a hella-good day of surfing, Cali bros and chicks………..




- A life in rock and roll mixed with a degree from Harvard apparently isn't enough to make one sitcom fodder these days. Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo has done a lot and made a fair amount of money in his lifetime and that was supposed to earn him a 30-minute stint weekly on Fox in the form of a sitcom loosely based on his life, but that won't be happening now. The show, scripted by Steve Franks, has been passed over by the network and that means no gig for actors Peter Gallagher and Olivia Thirlby, who shot the pilot with British actor Ben Aldridge cast as Cuomo. The pilot laid out the groundwork for the story of a 30-something rock star who is worried about his success and walks away from the spotlight at the height of his career to rediscover the parts of his life he missed out on when he was becoming famous was filmed. That sounds an awful lot like what Cuomo did a few years back and while television has a funny way of taking such stories and turning them into bloated, barely recognizable versions of what they actually were, it would have been interesting to see how Cuomo’s tale of being a nerdy, overly self-aware rock star whose albums tend to be polarizing even to his own fans would have played out on the small screen. Given how many terrible shows actually make it to air and fail miserably within the first five episodes, it’s actually stunning that this one wasn’t picked up………

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Disney Dine and Dash, Eminem hits rock bottom and crocodiles v. endurance swimmers


- Swimming nearly five miles in open water is a badass athletic pursuit. Yet it’s not the sort of badass pursuit you want to undertake when there’s a chance you might be eaten by a crocodile, but a badass one nonetheless. So to those who were planning on participating in an eight-kilometer open water swimming event between a popular north Queensland island and the city of Townsville, don’t feel the least bit bad that the event for which you trained so hard and were looking so much forward to has been canceled due to crocodile sightings. On the downside, you won't get to prove your aquatic prowess by churning water for the better part of two and a half hours, but on the upside, you won't get eaten by a crocodile and - this is big, so you know - you’re a part of history. According to organizers, this is the first time the Magnetic Island to Townsville swim has had to be called off in its 61-year history. That means the nearly 100 swimmers who had planned to compete in the July 26 event can now sleep in, not have to worry about a large, toothy reptile turning them into an oversized stick of beef jerky while they pursue athletic glory. "I've had information that crocodiles were spotted on Friday and Saturday ... we need to make sure we are safe and don't put anyone at risk,” race committee member John Barrett said. A beach north of Townsville was closed earlier this year when a large crocodile was sighted along the shoreline and one person a year is killed by a crocodile in the tropical north of Australia, so this does appear to be a real problem………


- It’s time to play another edition of Who’s Russia Pissed At Today? Today’s target is Poland, where plans to demolish a Soviet war memorial have set it off between the land ‘twixt Communist Russia and Nazi Germany back in World War II. Even though Russia has absolutely no grounds to object to something that another country wants to do within its own borders, Moscow immediately protested the plans to get rid of the memorial and accused the Polish government of escalating its "war on monuments." A war on monuments sounds like a hell of a good kind of war in which - unlike most other wars - no one with a heart, brain and circulatory system will due, but the Russian Foreign Ministry said at least 10 war memorials have been desecrated or demolished in Poland during the past year. This particular uproar concerns a memorial in the town of Pieniezno dedicated to Soviet Gen. Ivan Chernyakhovsky, who suffered a fatal wound  at the site in February 1945. Poland is looking to alleviate the problem of Soviet war memorials falling into disrepair and being regularly vandalized and oddly enough, the Soviet role in World War II is viewed  in Poland with ambiguity or outright hostility by many. Russia continues to push its self-serving narrative that the Red Army liberated Poland from Nazi occupation and therefore argues that the demolition of war monuments in Poland violates a 1994 agreement between the two countries. Conversely, the Polish Foreign Ministry said under treaty terms, war cemeteries and burial grounds are under the care of the state and control of monuments lies with local authorities. Bust out the wrecking ball, y’all……….


- Eminem can officially go away any time now. He’s done some good things over the years, dropped some great rhymes and proven that he’s lyrically ahead of most other emcees in the game, but he’s now crossed one of those lines, the sort you can't come back from. U2 went there back in 2001 and has never been the same and now, Slim Shady is following suit with the revelation that he - gag - has collaborated with pop hack and definition of what rock and roll isn't Gwen Stefani. Stefani, whose “band” No Doubt toured with U2 and thereby torched the legacy of one of the greatest rock bands ever - something the Hack Eye Peas later one-upped/one-downed by doing the same, and Eminem have collaborated on “Kings Never Die,” a track appearing on the soundtrack to new film “Southpaw.” Eminem oversaw the soundtrack and used “Kings” as a chance to boast of his alleged hip-hop immortality. "It’d actually have to be a f*ckin’ blowout to get me to retire/Tell these new artists that kings never die,” he raps on the track. Interestingly, he was originally set to star in the film but later dropped out after postponing the project shortly after its December 2010 announcement. In arguably the best casting decision ever, he was replaced by Jake Gyllenhaal and the film still has musical representation as Rita Ora has a small role as a disheveled drug addict and prostitute and the cast also includes Forest Whitaker, Naomie Harris and Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson. But the most important thing to remember here is that Eminem is stepping into the musical gutter by collaborating with Gwen F’Ing Stafani………..


- There are morons everywhere in the world, even in a place falsely billed as the happiest place on Earth. One of the biggest morons currently using up perfectly good oxygen that could benefit the rest of us is Jerry Moody, who was arrested after the manager of a lounge at Disney's Contemporary Resort claimed he racked up a $92 bar tab and tried to leave without paying. Yes, this tool went to a place where Disney essentially owns every acre of land and means of commerce for approximately 750 square miles and tried to run up a big bill and get away without squaring it up. According to an arrest report, a waitress recognized him as fitting the description of a man who tried to do the same thing at another lounge the previous night, proving that idiocy is an incurable and insatiable disease that man can never outgrow or outrun. Both lounges are on Disney property but not inside the theme park and maybe Moody thought he could get over because many Disney restaurants and lounges don't require admission fees. They’re the only things - parking lots, bathrooms and vacant patches of grass among them - that you can't visit for free on Disney property, but they do expect you to pay when you dine. Bizarrely, police said Moody acknowledged that he shouldn't be at the resort but told detectives he likes to go to Disney World. Why, you ask? Because he has been arrested on Disney properties five times, potentially even setting a record for non-pedophiles. The time has come to cure this fool of his sick Disney addiction, or at least teach him the basic principles of capitalism and commerce………