Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Bizarre baseball injuries - Pt. 3,587, Venezuela v. free commerce and Wu Tang v. Action Bronson


- The excellence is in the execution. Having a better plan and not being a moron helps, though. Two thieves suspected of stealing an ATM machine from a business in Snohomish County, Washington failed on almost every level of that system when they jacked the machine from a business near Lynnwood at around 11 a.m., cut the cables to the ATM and loaded it in to their van. Unfortunately, the thieves failed to find out how much the ATM weighed, if it would fit into the van and whether the van could complete the getaway with the added weight. Thus, they only made it as far as the parking lot before the machine fell out of the getaway van. Sheriff's spokeswoman Shari Ireton said deputies have recovered the ATM machine, which they believe fell out of the van when the men drove too fast over a speed bump. The only part of this entire amateur hour operation that showed a shred of sense is after the ATM fell out of the van. At that point, the suspects drove away without it. Not surprisingly, the van had been reported stolen from nearby Kent and deputies found the van idling the morning after the failed heist. It was  impounded so deputies could look for evidence and if the way this terrible plan unfolded is any indication, there will be plenty of evidence with which to track down these two morons and make sure they face both the scorn and justice due to them after one of the worst criminal efforts of the year………..


- Are the rap wars back? Probably not, but Wu Tang Clan rapper Ghostface Killah is doing what he can to keep the hate flowing by threatening to set fellow rapper Action Bronson's beard on fire in a filmed rant posted online. Bronson is white and uses his Albanian ethnic background pretty damn well in his rap game, showing the sort of game that should earn him respect. In the rap game, respect often comes in the form of a rival taking a shot at you and in the video, Ghost can be seen  talking directly to camera and calling out Bronson, who has repeatedly been compared to him in the past. "First of all you little fat f*ck, who gives you the right to even mention my name out your mother*cking mouth," Ghostface says. "Boy you done made a mistake boy. You done f*cked up. Because listen man, you could never fuck with my pen. My sword, my blade, whatever you want to call it, I’m too nasty for you. This is why the f*ck you look up to me, and sound like me." That was enough vitriol in and of itself, but Ghost wasn’t done. In fact, he was just ramping up to threatening actual physical violence against Bronson. "You walk around the club with no shoes on, a big ass beard that one day I might set on fire just for saying my name. Doing 25 years doesn't sound so good, but I got shooters who'll do that,” Ghost said. “Those shooters are not from New York. I don't think you know the magnitude of what you have done." Bronson is based in New York, so keeping an eye out for any actual trouble from this might be a good idea………


- Venezuela must be a fun place to do business. When your government can hijack your operation and order you to distribute food staples to a network of state-run supermarkets amid chronic shortages of basic goods, it has to be uplifting and not at all frustrating. That’s precisely what private companies in Venezuela say the government has ordered them to do. According to the Food Industry Chamber, authorities ordered producers of milk, pasta, oil, rice, sugar and flour to supply between 30 percent and 100 percent of their products to the state stores. If you’re the government and can flex that kind of muscle, it’s a great plan because  there are 15 times as many private stores in the socialist South American country as state-run ones. Chamber President Pablo Baraybar claims the order could cause major supply problems and as expected, the government isn't commenting. Underneath all of this is the strife caused by rigid currency controls and a shortage of U.S. dollars, both of which make it difficult for Venezuelans to find imported goods. The rigidity with which the government reigns over businesses and stifles their ability to function on a daily basis is both sad and sadly amazing. Many of those companies complain that such controls make it hard to turn a profit and justify production. Speak the truth and fight the power, y’all……….


- Baseball injuries are the best. They come from some of the best athletes in the world getting taken out doing mundane tasks the rest of us perform on a daily basis with no trouble and yet, these millionaires in spikes can't navigate them without spraining, straining or breaking something. Minnesota Twins rookie Miguel Sano became the latest entry to this dubious list and while he didn’t miss a game due to a sunburn from a tanning booth, shred his elbow throwing out a trash bag full of watermelon rinds or twist his neck putting on a hat that was a size too small, he did go down in embarrassing fashion when he sprained his right ankle stepping on a ball during infield drills Saturday and was out of the lineup Sunday. He played Saturday as the designated hitter despite the injury, but the ankle got worse as the game progressed and he finished 0-for-3 with three strikeouts with a sacrifice fly in the ninth inning that gave the Twins the lead before Oakland rallied to tie, later winning in extra innings. Sano left the stadium on crutches and will be sidelined for a few more days thanks to a ball that was rolling in from the outfield when he was doing first base drills. "We should have done a better job of clearing the field,'' Twins manager Paul Molitor said. The injury came at a bad time, as Sano impressed in his first 13 games in the majors, batting .326 with two home runs and nine RBI. His fast start is now on pause because the cutoff man for the outfielders couldn’t snag that ball rolling free during outfield practice and baseball lore has another awesome MLB injury to add to a book rapidly filling up with them………

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