- What’s
the best way to listen to the Bee Gees? Ask frontman Kevin
Parker of Tame Impala because he seems to have figured it out. Parker, whose
band will release its third album on July 17, said recently that he came up
with the right sound for “Current” by listening to the Bee Gees after taking
mushrooms, thereby inspiring him to change the entire sound and style of the
music he was making. The Australian band, who have been one of the primary
voices in the psych-rock revival of recent years, are heading in a decidedly
more dance-pop direction this time around and for those wondering why they
would so willingly abandon good music for a style that sucks donkey balls,
Parker explained where it all went wrong. "I was in L.A. and for some
reason we’d taken mushrooms, it must have been the end of our tour,” he
recalled. “I was coked up as well, and a friend was driving us around L.A. in
this old sedan. He was playing the Bee Gees and it had the most profound
emotional effect. I’m getting butterflies just thinking about it. I was
listening to 'Staying Alive', a song I’ve heard all my life. At that moment it
had this really emotive, melancholy feel to it.” Coke-addled and tripping on ‘shrooms
sounds about right for someone claiming to enjoy the Bee Gees and as Parker
remembers it, the experience moved him and reminded him that “that’s what I
always want out of psych music. I want it to transport me." Factor
in a feeling that he and his band were being stereotyped and typecast as a
psych rock musician and you have a formula for a band senselessly rebelling and
churning out a pile of sonic sh*t so foul that it’s almost not worth listening
to………..
- Around
the world, criminal techniques and tendencies don’t vary that much. Languages
may change, but the ways in which crooks, criminals and con men get over on the
unsuspecting masses are often jarringly similar. Look no further than Spain for
evidence of this truth, as Spanish police have
arrested three suspects who allegedly committed 26 burglaries in the southern
city of Malaga by posing as telephone engineers to study their targets before
making their move. According to a police statement, the suspects allegedly disguised themselves and paid
unannounced visits to determine where alarm systems, security cameras and safes
were located before making their move. After doing their recon work, they would
come back at a time when they knew the home was empty and pilfer all manner of
luxury goods, including haute-couture clothing, high-end cars, jewelry, cash
and even legs of Spanish ham. They might have been able to keep their racket up
if they had been more careful, as the crack in their evil empire came when a security
guard became suspicious because a suspect dressed in a phone company uniform
insisted on inspecting rooms where there were no phones. The guard called
police and when they arrived, it didn’t exactly take intensive detective work
to figure out that the suspect's ID belonged to a 76-year-old woman from
another city. Oh, so close. From there, it didn’t take long to get the suspects
to cave and turn on each other and the facts against them piled up quickly. Muy
pobre, fellas, mub pobre………
- It is
2015, right? How is squeezing off a few rounds into the air to settle a dispute
still a thing? We’re all smart enough to realize that those bullets don’t
magically disappear in the air and that they must come down and hit someone or
something, right? No one told Green Bay Packers tight end Andrew Quarless about
those miraculous laws of physics because if they had, he would not have been
arrested this weekend after police said he fired two shots into the air during
an argument outside a Miami Beach parking garage. Sure, Miami Beach is a
bat-sh*t insane place where people urinating in alleys at 4 a.m. is normal and
any kind of freakery you can imagine is possible if you have enough money and
find the right club. Still, shooting into the air to send a message sends only
one message: Hi there. I’m an ignorant d-bag willing to endanger the lives of everyone
in my immediate vicinity in a vain attempt to look tough and hardcore. Quarless,
who started 11 games last season, catching 29 passes for 323 yards and three
touchdowns became the second Packer to get on the wrong side of the law in the
span of the week after an incident that began when he was riding in a black
Porsche with three other people around 5 a.m. Quarless’ crew pulled up to a car
full of women and according to a police report the football player and another
man approached the car. Things went south from there and a witness told
authorities he heard the women yelling for Quarless and his friend to leave
them alone. Being rebuffed didn’t seem to sit well with the sixth-year pro, who
allegedly responded by pulling out his piece and firing two shots into the air
before fleeing the scene. He was tracked down and charged with discharging a
firearm in public, all but ensuring he’ll be on the receiving end of a
suspension from Sheriff Roger Goodell some time in the near future………
- Natural selection at its finest. That’s what took place this
holiday weekend in the small eastern Maine city of Calais. Don’t call it tragic
because tragedies are what happen when something awful befalls a person through
no fault of their own and that is definitely not what went down with Devon
Staples and his friends at their holiday gathering. Not surprisingly, as with
so many Fourth of July stories that end badly, this one begins with a man and
his friends consuming mass quantities of cheep alcohol. Yes, Staples and his
amigos had been drinking and setting off fireworks in the backyard of a
friend’s home when a solid combination of lack of intelligence and liquid
courage inspired Staples to attempt to launch a firework off the top of his
head. Astonishingly, this did not end well. This moron placed a fireworks
mortar tube on his head and set it off, fatally injuring himself. The firework
exploded, killing Staples instantly, according to Department of Public Safety
spokesman Stephen McCausland. According to McCausland, Staples’ demise is the
first fireworks fatality in Maine since the state legalized fireworks on Jan.
1, 2012. Any state legislator who voted against the legalization of fireworks
probably did so because they had a mental picture of someone like Staples doing
exactly what he did and this nasty incident in a sleepy town on the Canadian
border near New Brunswick drives that point home. State fire marshals were also
investigating several other Fourth of July fireworks accidents in the state,
but most of the accidents involved mere burns and eye injuries. If only that
1949 law banning fireworks had remained in place, perhaps one of the biggest
idiots known to humanity would have been saved for at least a while longer.
Then again, if someone is that incredibly stupid, then odds are he’s merely
going to find another way to bring his life to a screeching halt. Water - and
idiocy - always finds its level……….
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