Thursday, July 09, 2015

Naked drunks stealing cop cars, drunk ex-NFLers with cough drops and Bono helps out Israel


- He may have fallen off a bike in Central Park, shattered his arm and put his guitar-playing future in doubt, but no injury can jar the peace out of Bono’s sunglassed-soul. The U2 frontman is back on the road with his bandmates and at a show this week in Toronto, he did what he has done so many times over the years, using his platform to make a political statement for the world to hear. At the show, Bono urged former Israeli president Shimon Peres to continue to seek peace in the Middle East, a plea that probably could have been done in person before or after the show because Peres was in attendance. "We understand President Peres, that you have tried to be the voice of reason,” Bono said during a break in the set. “And you’ve dedicated a lot of your life to try and bring peace in this really dangerous region. And we wish you and your family safe." The energetic frontman went on to describe Peres as "somebody who is active as the voice of reason in a region where the loudest voices are often the bellicose ones" and praised the former president for his work in peace talks held a while back in Norway. Coincidentally, this month marks the one-year anniversary of the most recent Israel-Gaza crisis, a span in which 2,205 Palestinians, 71 Israelis and one foreign national were killed. The good news is that angry nation states and their leaders always listen to the words of rock stars who don’t have actual governmental or diplomatic experience, so hearing that Bono wants them to keep on trying should be enough to keep all of the Israelis and Palestinians moving toward long-awaited and lasting peace……….


- This is one of those situations you just let go, Turkmenistan. Sometimes, a guy owes you money and while you’d like to collect it and have the cash you need to go to a movie or see the concert this weekend, you don’t bother knocking on your debtor’s door because, well, he’s not a guy you’re going to demand money from. In other words, if you like having all your teeth and your face in its current state, you swallow that debt and keep moving. Such is the place where Turkmenistan's oil and gas ministry finds itself on account of being Turkmenistan. Not only is the country name one that 50 percent of people in the world probably believe was made up, but it’s a poor, troubled country with zero military might and therefore, zero way of following up on its accusations that Russian state gas company Gazprom has failed to pay for deliveries. It’s both a sign of friction between the two major gas producers and something that makes you want to tap Turkmenistani officials on the shoulder and whisper that they need to keep on moving. Instead, the central Asian nation's ministry said in a statement that Gazprom "has failed to pay under its contracts for buying and selling natural gas" since the start of the year. The ministry couched its comments by claiming that global economic problems and international sanctions against Russia are the cause, but calling out Vlad Putin publicly for failing to pay his debts is a recipe for an ass kicking. This standoff has been years in the making, as in the past decade, Russia has dramatically reduced its reliance on gas from Turkmenistan, which has become a major supplier to China. Plans to build a pipeline under the Caspian Sea to gain access to European markets have become bogged down for Turkmenistan and if Russia isn't going to pony up the money it owes, the budget is going to get mighty tight mighty fast in Ashgabat………


- There are no good excuses for driving drunk. Yet in a world full of terrible ones, former NFL quarterback Donovan McNabb came up with one of the worst. McNabb, who was arrested on DUI charges last month in Arizona after hitting another vehicle at a traffic light, is trying to sell the story that he was merely ill and downing lots of cough syrup in order to rally himself physically. McNabb was arrested just before midnight on June 28 by police in Gilbert, Arizona, after rear-ending a car that just so happened to be driven by a police officer’s wife. When the cops rolled up on McNabb, he had cough drops in his mouth, presumably in a futile attempt to conceal the alcohol on his breath. Gilbert police did not specify whether McNabb took a field sobriety test and did not state what his blood-alcohol level was, but given that he smiled for the mug shot taken after what was his second DUI in the past two years, you can bet it was pretty damn high. Not exactly what you’d hope for from a guy whose role as a quarterback once entailed reading complex defensive schemes, making multiple reads and threading pinpoint passes to his receivers as they sprinted down the seam between two defenders, but the six-time Pro Bowler doesn’t seem to have learned from serving a one-day jail sentence last year following a 2013 arrest on misdemeanor DUI charges in Arizona. Thirteen seasons in the NFL, four straight NFC Championship Games and one Super Bowl berth will buy a guy a lot of goodwill with the public, but not nearly enough to cover your ass when you twice get behind the wheel liquored up and put many people’s lives in jeopardy………


- Speaking of drunk idiots and their actions behind the wheel, enter Clovis, N.M. resident Jesus Tarango. Tarango deserved a minimal amount of admiration and a slightly stronger level of prosecution for his actions over the weekend, all owing to the fact that he manned up and managed to steal a Curry County sheriff’s deputy’s patrol car while wearing no clothes. This ace stole the deputy’s whip after said deputy responded to take care of him on account of Tarango’s claim that he had been poisoned. The initial report was one of a naked man walking down State Road 245 and when they arrived, they found Tarango naked and acting "very erratic and…impaired.” Another  driver tried to go around the stopped deputy's car and when the distracted deputy took his eye off the ball, Tarango sprang into action, sprinted around the interfering vehicle and jumped into the deputy's car. The deputy moved toward his ride, but Tarango drove off. Not so shockingly given his condition, this ass hat was soon intercepted by a second deputy and eventually pulled over in the parking lot of the Plains Regional Medical Center. It was his eventual destination anyhow, but before he could get there, he was taken into custody without incident. Later on, Tarango was treated for injuries he received before stealing the deputy's car and since then, he has been charged with resisting, evading, or obstructing an officer, aggravated fleeing, unlawful vehicle theft and concealing his identity. All in all, one hell of a weekend……..

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