- Swimming
nearly five miles in open water is a badass athletic pursuit. Yet it’s not the
sort of badass pursuit you want to undertake when there’s a chance you might be
eaten by a crocodile, but a badass one nonetheless. So to those who were
planning on participating in an eight-kilometer
open water swimming event between a popular north Queensland island and the
city of Townsville, don’t feel the least bit bad that the event for which you
trained so hard and were looking so much forward to has been canceled due to
crocodile sightings. On the downside, you won't get to prove your aquatic
prowess by churning water for the better part of two and a half hours, but on
the upside, you won't get eaten by a crocodile and - this is big, so you know -
you’re a part of history. According to organizers, this is the first time the
Magnetic Island to Townsville swim has had to be called off in its 61-year
history. That means the nearly 100 swimmers who had planned to compete in the
July 26 event can now sleep in, not have to worry about a large, toothy reptile
turning them into an oversized stick of beef jerky while they pursue athletic
glory. "I've had information that crocodiles were spotted on Friday and
Saturday ... we need to make sure we are safe and don't put anyone at risk,” race
committee member John Barrett said. A beach north of Townsville was closed earlier
this year when a large crocodile was sighted along the shoreline and one person
a year is killed by a crocodile in the tropical north of Australia, so this
does appear to be a real problem………
- It’s
time to play another edition of Who’s Russia Pissed At Today? Today’s target is
Poland, where plans to demolish a Soviet war
memorial have set it off between the land ‘twixt Communist Russia and Nazi
Germany back in World War II. Even though Russia has absolutely no grounds to
object to something that another country wants to do within its own borders,
Moscow immediately protested the plans to get rid of the memorial and accused
the Polish government of escalating its "war on monuments." A war on
monuments sounds like a hell of a good kind of war in which - unlike most other
wars - no one with a heart, brain and circulatory system will due, but the Russian
Foreign Ministry said at least 10 war memorials have been desecrated or
demolished in Poland during the past year. This particular uproar concerns a
memorial in the town of Pieniezno dedicated to Soviet Gen. Ivan Chernyakhovsky,
who suffered a fatal wound at the site
in February 1945. Poland is looking to alleviate the problem of Soviet war
memorials falling into disrepair and being regularly vandalized and oddly
enough, the Soviet role in World War II is viewed in Poland with ambiguity or outright
hostility by many. Russia continues to push its self-serving narrative that the
Red Army liberated Poland from Nazi occupation and therefore argues that the
demolition of war monuments in Poland violates a 1994 agreement between the two
countries. Conversely, the Polish Foreign Ministry said under treaty terms, war
cemeteries and burial grounds are under the care of the state and control of
monuments lies with local authorities. Bust out the wrecking ball, y’all……….
- Eminem
can officially go away any time now. He’s done some good things over the years,
dropped some great rhymes and proven that he’s lyrically ahead of most other
emcees in the game, but he’s now crossed one of those lines, the sort you can't
come back from. U2 went there back in 2001 and has never been the same and now,
Slim Shady is following suit with the revelation that he - gag - has
collaborated with pop hack and definition of what rock and roll isn't Gwen
Stefani. Stefani, whose “band” No Doubt toured with U2 and thereby torched the
legacy of one of the greatest rock bands ever - something the Hack Eye Peas
later one-upped/one-downed by doing the same, and Eminem have collaborated on
“Kings Never Die,” a track appearing on the
soundtrack to new film “Southpaw.”
Eminem oversaw the soundtrack and used “Kings” as a chance to boast of his
alleged hip-hop immortality. "It’d
actually have to be a f*ckin’ blowout to get me to retire/Tell these new
artists that kings never die,” he raps on the track. Interestingly, he was
originally set to star in the film but later dropped out after postponing the
project shortly after its December 2010 announcement. In arguably the best
casting decision ever, he was replaced by Jake Gyllenhaal and the film still
has musical representation as Rita Ora has a small role as a disheveled drug
addict and prostitute and the cast also includes Forest Whitaker, Naomie Harris
and Curtis ‘50 Cent’ Jackson. But the most important thing to remember here is
that Eminem is stepping into the musical gutter by collaborating with Gwen
F’Ing Stafani………..
- There
are morons everywhere in the world, even in a place falsely billed as the happiest place on Earth. One of the biggest morons
currently using up perfectly good oxygen that could benefit the rest of us is
Jerry Moody, who was arrested after the manager of a lounge at Disney's
Contemporary Resort claimed he racked up a $92 bar tab and tried to leave
without paying. Yes, this tool went to a place where Disney essentially owns
every acre of land and means of commerce for approximately 750 square miles and
tried to run up a big bill and get away without squaring it up. According to an
arrest report, a waitress recognized him as fitting the description of a man
who tried to do the same thing at another lounge the previous night, proving
that idiocy is an incurable and insatiable disease that man can never outgrow
or outrun. Both lounges are on Disney property but not inside the theme park
and maybe Moody thought he could get over because many Disney restaurants and
lounges don't require admission fees. They’re the only things - parking lots,
bathrooms and vacant patches of grass among them - that you can't visit for
free on Disney property, but they do expect you to pay when you dine.
Bizarrely, police said Moody acknowledged that he shouldn't be at the resort
but told detectives he likes to go to Disney World. Why, you ask? Because he
has been arrested on Disney properties five times, potentially even setting a
record for non-pedophiles. The time has come to cure this fool of his sick
Disney addiction, or at least teach him the basic principles of capitalism and
commerce………
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