- That’s not a very nice way to welcome your new, $15.3
million man to the team, Dallas Mavericks coach Rick Carlisle. Chandler Parsons inked a three-year, $46 million deal
with the Mavericks this offseason with the idea of being an athletic wing
player who could help out his new team when Dirk Nowitzki rests during the
season. When he signed, the lanky Parsons was a 6-foot-9, 215-pound small
forward who was known for his playmaking ability more than his physicality.
That’s not the same Parsons who showed up for training camp last week. The
Parsons who walked into the Mavericks’ team facility was approximately 235
pounds and his added mass didn’t exactly impress his new coach. Twice already
in the first week-plus of camp, Carlisle went out of his way to let everyone
know that his prized free-agent signing needs to drop a few lbs. In Carlisle’s
view, Parsons’ extra weight has created conditioning issues that showed as the
forward had nine points on 4-of-12 shooting, six rebounds and six assists in 20
minutes during Friday night's preseason loss to the Oklahoma City Thunder.
"He looked tired out there tonight to me, and his shot is short,"
Carlisle said. "He's working on losing some weight. He's a little bit
heavier than he's been. He's up over 230, and we want to see him get down to at
least 225. That's a work in progress, and tonight's one of those nights where I
think the extra weight was a hindrance." It’s worth noting that Parsons
added weight by hitting the weight room instead of too many runs to Taco Bell,
but Carlisle doesn’t seem to care. Parsons said he felt he needed to add
strength to play significant minutes at power forward and when that first
reached his new coaches ears, Carlisle quipped, "One man's bulking up is
another man's not quite in shape yet." Ouch, coach. That hurts………
- London Mayor Boris Johnson has never shied away from
letting everyone know how much he loves him some him – and the spotlight that
comes with being a rabid attention whore. But even for a gloryhound like
Johnson, this is a huge reach, namely because the method he’s chosen falls
squarely on the list of bad analogies and comparisons that no one should ever
make for any reason whatsoever. That list includes: slavery, rape, nuclear
bombs, the Holocaust and especially anything relating to German dictator Adolf
Hitler. Had Johnson read that list, he would not have likened former Prime
Minister Tony Blair’s oratory prowess with that of the single most despicable
human being ever to walk the Earth. Johnson, who is making outlandish remarks
largely to promote his upcoming book “The Churchill
Factor: How One Man Made History,”
tried to link Blair and Hitler in what may be the worst analogy of 2014 by a
wide margin. Johnson describes the rhetoric of Hitler and the all-consuming
powers of persuasion that brainwashed a nation and led a people who weren't
exactly chomping at the bit to commit genocide into a heinous era that included
them murdering 6 million Jews without appearing to feel the least bit bad about
it. “Look at Hitler, if you can bear it, and see his hypnotic quality. First
the long, excruciating pause before he speaks; and then see how he begins so
softly - with his arms folded - and how he uncoils them as his voice starts to
rise, and then the awful jabbing fluidity of his gestures, perfectly timed to
intensify the crescendos of his speech,” Johnson said. “Listen to the way he
brings them all to their collective climax: with short verbless phrases –
grammatically meaningless, but full of suggestive power. It was to become a highly
influential technique, copied, among others, by Tony Blair.” Nice try, B………..
- A rapper being arrested for illegal possession of a weapon
isn't the least bit surprising. In the average “I got caught with an illegal
gun” situation, the rapper in question gets a nice boost of street cred, he or
she is looked at as simply carrying on a proud tradition of hip-hop stars
rising from the ghetto and growing up with the mindset of needing to protect
themselves at all times and there is very little condemnation from anyone who
isn't a rabid anti-gun kook. This is not the average situation and if anything,
Waka Flaka Flame looks worse for being anywhere close to a lame and
absent-minded mishap that appears to be nothing more than a general lack of
communication between a man and his special lady. Flame was arrested at the
Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport when a security scan turned up
a loaded handgun in his bag and when he was questioned about the gun, he spun a
relatively benign tale of being in a disorganized state and simply grabbing the
wrong bag. As Flame told police, he and his fiancée are in the process of
moving and in the process, their belongings got mixed up. On his way to the
airport, he simply grabbed the wrong bag and got one with a gun inside. Never
mind the question of what lady is rolling with a loaded piece in her travel
bag, because that’s an entirely different matter. When he got to the airport
and security found the gun, he didn’t have the proper permit and was arrested
and charged with carrying a weapon in a prohibited place. That led to spending
a few hours in the Clayton County jail rather than flying the friendly skies,
but he was eventually released and was able to go on his way……….
- Speaking of guns in places they shouldn’t be……turn your
eyes toward North Carolina, where a potential legal challenge could lead to the
Tar Heel State joining a small number of states that allow concealed
handguns at state fairs. A judge will hear a legal challenge to the ban on
firearms at the annual North Carolina state fair, with the gun-loving nut jobs
of Grass Roots North Carolina making the case that a recent change in state law
makes it illegal for the fair to ban concealed-carry permit holders from
bringing in guns. Some legal scholars believe the group has a strong case to
make in a hearing on Monday and the case is especially timely because this year’s
edition of the fair starts Thursday. Grass Roots North Carolina claims several
states allow concealed carry permit holders to bring their handguns to state
fairs, including Florida and Texas, and ignores the fact that those two states
are full of senile old people and insane Yosemite Sam wannabes who think guns
are appropriate in virtually any setting, including but not limited to a
kindergarten graduation, a wedding and a bar mitzvah. The law enforcement
agencies that oversee the Florida and Texas state fairs said they know of no
problems stemming from the concealed firearm rules, although a brawl at the
cotton candy stand or a spot in line for the Ferris wheel could both go
horribly wrong if one or both parties were packing heat……….
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