- Not that long ago, I wrote about how many NBA experts and observers were beginning to talk about the growing number of teams around the league in financial peril. Right around the All-Star break, speculation was that there would be at least one team that would have to relocate or fold in the next few years due to the ever-worsening economy in this country. That talk seemed a bit extreme…..until this week, when news about the Charlotte Bobcats and their plans for the upcoming offseason surfaced. The Bobcats announced that because of five straight years of losing millions of dollars per season, they will not be fielding a summer league team this year. Teams use the summer leagues, which operate in multiple locations around the country, as a tool to develop rookies and other young players who just can't get enough playing time during the regular season to work on their game. Not fielding a team is a surefire sign that your franchise is in dire financial straits, as it doesn’t exactly cost mucho dinero to do so. Summer leagues only run for a few weeks and the players competing in them aren’t paid extra for doing so. Not having a team is akin to those nagging cost-cutting moves as your office like demanding that everyone print on both sides of every sheet of paper, cutting snacks from the break room or demanding that everyone switch to lower watt light bulbs to conserve energy. But that’s not the only cost-cutting move the Bobcats will be putting into place; they’ll also move their training camp in October from its usual site at the University of North Carolina-Wilmington to the team’s practice facility in Charlotte. That way, they can avoid having to pay to house players during training camp, rent the facility and spend money they clearly don’t have. All of this comes on the heels of the laying off of 38 employees last summer, yet another bad sign for the team’s financial future. No word on whether the Bobcats will be serving peanut butter sandwiches, ramen noodles and fruit roll-ups to the team for meals during training camp and having players not on the court during training camp ride bikes hooked up to power generators to keep the lights on, but don’t be against those and many more maneuvers designed to keep the franchise financially solvent…..
- I have to disagree with Miss California and first runner-up Miss USA Carrie Prejean. Prejean thinks her anti-same sex marriage opinion cost her the Miss USA title on Sunday, but my extensive experience analyzing the results of beauty pageants suggests that something else may be the cause. First, I’ll allow Prejean to weigh in with her take. “It did cost me my crown. I wouldn't have had it any other way. I said what I feel. I stated an opinion that was true to myself and that's all I can do,” she declared. Her comment refers to a moment during the show when “celebrity” judge Perez Hilton asked Prejean on whether she thought same-sex marriage should be legalized. Prejean replied: "In my country, and in my family, I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman.” Ultimately, Prejean and Miss North Carolina Kristen Dalton were the two finalists for the title. Given the fact that Hilton is homosexual, Prejean’s belief that her answer to his question may have cost her the title seems reasonable. However, I think we need look no further than recent beauty pageant success stories and winners to find the real truth. I have two words for you: Tara Conner. Yes, that Tara Conner, she of the party animal ways, heavy drinking, drug use and scandalous photographs. Conner is far from the only beauty queen who has excelled in pageants AND been a party girl. I don’t even have time to recap all of the recent pageant winners who have later come under fire for racy pictures that surfaced, allegations of underage drinking and drug use. Safe to say that if Carrie Prejean had simply followed the examples of these fine girls, she too could have won. So while she may take solace in the fact that in the days following the pageant, she had more than 200 friend requests and 1,000 new messages on Facebook, I’d like to let her know just how she might have changed the outcome in her favor. I’m here to help for any other beauty queens who might need advice, you all know where to find me……
- I’m very confused here. Does this mean that the smiling, laughing, mugging-for-the-cameras Hugo Chavez I saw glad-handing President Obama and giving him a copy of the Venezuelan despot’s new book wasn’t legit? Seems kinda difficult to reconcile those images of Chavez with the man who is being accused of persecuting the mayor of Maracaibo, Venezuela on trumped-up corruption charges and running him out of the country. Manuel Rosales, the mayor of Maracaibo and a leading political opponent who lost the 2006 presidential race to Chavez, fled Venezuela over the weekend and is seeking asylum in Peru. Rosales faces corruption charges in Venezuela and was supposed to have turned himself in to authorities on Monday. He failed to appear and instead crossed the border into Peru. Ironic, Hugo Chavez alleging corruption by someone else….but I digress. Peru seems more than willing to welcome Rosales, a move that is sure to further anger Chavez. “According to the jurisprudential traditions of Peru and the historic traditions of asylum, Peru has to accept this petition for asylum, because it concerns a political leader, a man of great responsibility, and because Hugo Chavez has made impassioned public declarations against him in plazas and stadiums," attorney Javier Valle Riestra said. “That makes one doubt that there could be an impartial process.” Peru’s government must now make a decision on Rosales’ status, a process that could take up to two months. As you’d expect, the sycophants in Chavez’s administration are openly ripping Rosales and trying to paint him in as negative a light as possible. “Not presenting himself before a competent tribunal would be make him a fugitive from justice and, in consequence, mechanisms determined by that tribunal will be activated for his capture,” said Tareq El Aissami, minister of interior and justice in Venezuela. Of course, Chavez himself has already waged a public campaign of disparagement against his rival, including mocking and denouncing him at public rallies. Not that the charges against Rosales are likely to have much merit, but Venezuelan officials say Rosales illegally enriched himself as governor of Zulia state from 2002 to 2004, i.e. he used his position of power to squeeze people for perks and benefits. Way to get back to your true self, Hugo, I missed ya……
- How very soccer of you, fans of Italian Serie A team Juventus. In what other sport would the officials of a sport have to dictate that a team play their next home game behind closed doors after fans racially abused an opposing player? Let me answer that for you: none of them. No one also would hit 18-year-old Inter Milan striker Mario Balotelli with chants of "a black Italian does not exist" after he scored the first goal in a 1-1 tie between Juventus and Inter Milan on Saturday. The match took place in Turin, in front of a mostly pro-Juventus crowd. These classy fans didn’t care that Balotelli, an Italy under-21 international, was born in Palermo because what difference does that make when you can hurl racist chants at a guy because he is of Ghanaian descent? Serie A had little choice but to punish Juventus, because allowing that sort of hateful, racist speech to go unchecked is just asking for more of it when you’re dealing with the menace that is soccer fan. “The sporting judge...considered that in the course of the game and on multiple occasions, fans of the home team, in various sections of the stadium, sang songs which included racial discrimination,” a league statement said. “Juventus are therefore obliged to play one game behind closed doors.” The ban will be applied to the team’s home game with Lecce on May 3. That means the classless, reprehensible idiots who calls themselves Juventus fans can still attend today’s contest against Lazio in an Italian Cup semi-final. Juventus is in a tough spot, between its idiotic, racist fans and common decency, but as you’d expect they are sticking up for those who pay their bills by appealing the decision. Don’t expect the league to reverse its decision, not after it announced the punishment a full day earlier than the usual Tuesday announcement for disciplinary action from weekend games because of the heinousness of this act. It is more than a little hypocritical for Juve president Giovanni Cobolli Gigli to apologize on Sunday, say that Serie A had to end the culture of racism among fans and then appeal the decision, but whatever. Perhaps Juventus fans were just bent that their team is almost out of the Seria A title race with champions Inter holding a 10-point lead with six games left. As always, stay classy soccer fans, stay classy…..
- If you participate in any facet of the event I’m about to mention, you are a tool. Just because Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley is an ass hat who thinks that declaring Thursday as "Talk Like Shakespeare Day" in his city to celebrate the 445th birthday of William Shakespeare doesn’t mean anyone needs to indulge him. Not sure what connection Shakespeare has to Chicago, given the fact that the city didn’t even exist while he was alive. Unless Daley can give me a good reason why people in the Windy City should unleash their inner bard, I’m going to continue calling him a tool for this decision. It’s one thing if Shakespeare’s hometown wants to honor a man many consider the greatest playwright in the English language. But this isn’t his hometown; it’s some random city thousands of miles and an ocean away. Besides, no one is certain of Shakespeare’s actual birth date, even though many scholars think it was April 23, 1564. As such, all residents of Chicago can feel free to ignore the proclamation Daley issued last week in which he encouraged city residents to "screw their courage to the sticking place and celebrate Shakespeare by vocal acclamation of his words.” You probably use a few of the 1,700-plus words and phrases Shakespeare contributed to the English language already -- everything from "foul play" to "monumental" to, of course, "all's well that ends well” - so feel free to keep using those words. But whatever you do, don’t go all old English and use any of the outdated, archaic terms that you can find on talklikeshakespeare.org -- a Web site that the Chicago Shakespeare Theater unveiled Monday. The problem with making a lame proclamation like this is that invariably you will find mindless tools to follow along. You can find these tools subscribing to a Twitter feed where the Bard of Avon will translate their 21st-century English into its 16th-century equivalent or listen to the some idiots who call themselves the Q Brothers rapping about the finer points of speaking Shakespearean. Did we mention it's a rap song? Among the idiotic rules put forth on talklikeshakespeare.com: Don't waste time saying "it." Just use the letter "t" ('tis, 'twill, I'll do't) and starting sentences with "methinks," "mayhaps," "in sooth" or "wherefore.” Yes, that would sound every bit as lame if you spoke it out loud as it did when you just read it……….
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