Saturday, April 11, 2009

People still enabling the Octo-Tool, USC athletics in quite a bit of trouble and what to do when you're tired of waiting on the &*^&*ing government

- That’s what I like to see, residents on Hawaii's Kauai island. F*** the government, because you can’t depend on The Man to get anything done in a timely fashion. The people of Kauai island had clearly waited long enough for government help with their very livelihood being threatened, so they did something about it. That something was business owners banding together to complete a $4 million repair job to a state park -- for free. Polihale State Park has been closed since severe flooding destroyed an access road to the park and damaged facilities in December, but when the state Department of Land and Natural Resources estimated that the damage would cost $4 million to fix and claimed it didn’t have the money for the project, the residents decided to act. “It would not have been open this summer, and it probably wouldn't be open next summer," said Bruce Pleas, a local surfer who helped organize the volunteers. “They said it would probably take two years. And with the way they are cutting funds, we felt like they'd never get the money to fix it.” So what to do when your under-funded government can’t meet your needs? With their businesses possibly having to shut down because of lost revenues from the park closed, locals took action. These are people like Ivan Slack, co-owner of Napali Kayak, whose company relies solely on revenue from kayak tours and needs the state park to be open to operate. Other business owners followed suit and pulled together machinery and manpower. They got to work on March 23 and after only eight days, all of the repairs were done. That amazing effort helped pave the way for the reopening of a part that is a fixture on the west side of the island and a favorite spot for many in the area, but especially for tourists. Like any other part of the country right now, Kauai is suffering an economic downturn and in February, Kauai's unemployment rate was at 9.1 percent, up from 2.8 percent during the same time in 2008. Having the park closed would have meant a rise in that rate and another serious hit for the island. Instead, Pleas says that the park should be ready by the time tourist season gets busy around May 1. All that is left to do is to get the new bridge certified and do minor cleanup, which shouldn’t take long. Props to everyone who had a hand in this effort because they’ve showed once again that if you want something done, don’t wait on the government……
- This is what you get for (allegedly) trying to make a statement using your car’s license plate, vegetarians. You losers are so dead set on telling the world how great it is to not eat meat and why we’re all terrible people for….hang on, let me finish chewing my steak and chicken fingers…..okay, you say we’re so awful for eating meat. But if karma really were on your side in this dispute, would Kelley Coffman-Lee of Centennial, Colo. have had her application for the vanity license plate reading ILVTOFU turned down? I say no, which is coincidentally what the Colorado Department of Revenue said as well. Of course, they said no because they felt that Coffman-Lee’s vanity plate could be read and interpreted to refer to a sex act rather than to her professed love of tofu. She wanted to promote a healthy message, "I-LV-TOFU," but feels that the CDR misread it as the far steamier "I-LV-TO-F-U." She made the choice to dole out the extra money for a stupid, vapid vanity plate because she stopped consuming any animal products four years ago, and was a vegetarian for nine years prior to that. “I love tofu; it doesn't mean anything bad,” Coffman-Lee said. “I'm very expressive. I'm anti-fur, anti-rodeo, anti-circus when they come to Denver, and I thought, 'Here's a chance to be positive and say I love something.’” Her inspiration for wasting money on a vanity plate (same goes for anyone who buys a vanity plate - you are an idiot) came after hearing about a woman who was denied from customizing a similar plate in California. Of course, Coffman-Lee found a way around having to pay for her personalized plates. When she received initial approval, Coffman-Lee a friend with those wacky, loveable, psychotic and idiotic animal activities People for the Ethical Treatment of Animal offered to have the organization pay the $60 fee. When the CDR called Coffman-Lee to inform her that the request had been rejected because some might find it obscene, that plan went out the window. “We have nothing bad to say about (Coffman-Lee's) love of tofu," said Mark Couch, spokesman for Colorado Department of Motor Vehicles. "We’re concerned about others who may misread the plate.” I’d love to disagree with the government here, but the fact is that there are a lot of a) morons and b) perverts in our society. Some would misinterpret the plate and its intended message because they’re just not that bright and others’ minds would immediately go to the most base meaning possible. In explaining his agency’s decision, Couch pointed to
state statute 42-3-211(5) relating to the issue. It reads, "There shall be no duplication of registration numbers, and the department may refuse to issue any combination of letters or numbers that carry connotations offensive to good taste and decency, are misleading, or duplicate any other license plates provided for in this article.” So tough luck (from someone who doesn’t believe in luck) vegetarians, looks like you lose again……

- Never a good sign when the NCAA decides to combine two major probes into rules violations in your school’s athletic department into one. First, the fact that there are two major NCAA probes going on at your school is a major negative. Second, if the NCAA is linking two probes focusing on the two most prominent sports on campus - men’s basketball and football - that also says nothing good. Lastly, common threads between activities involving two totally different sports could end with USC being slapped with the dreaded “lack of institutional control” by the NCAA, which would mean extremely severe sanctions. The investigations in question involve Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush and NBA lottery pick O.J. Mayo, neither of whom is still at the school but both of whom are alleged to have received improper benefits while at USC. The NCAA has been investigating the two cases separately, but this week decided to combine its investigations into a single probe of the Trojans' athletic program. The attorneys for Louis Johnson, a former associate of Mayo, were told that the NCAA had combined the two probes into a larger investigation of whether USC had shown a lack of institutional control. "It makes sense," attorney Anthony V. Salerno said. "The NCAA looks at the program as a whole, and you may be talking about systemic problems in these cases of payments by agents. Yes, these were different teams and coaches. Rather than do it piecemeal, look at the institution." Salerno and David Murphy represent Johnson, a former associate of Mayo and Rodney Guillory, who Johnson says received more than $200,000 in cash and gifts from a representative of the BDA Sports Management agency and passed along some of those gifts to Mayo. The allegations against Bush have been known for some time, with the New Orleans Saints running back alleged to have accepted thousands of dollars in benefits for himself and his family in the form of rent owed on a home owned by would-be sports marketer. Of course, both Mayo and Bush continue to insist that they have done nothing wrong. USC basketball coach Tim Floyd, who may now be seriously regretting his decision not to accept the head coach position at the University of Arizona last week when it was offered to him, said he hasn't talked to the NCAA since May and has "never, ever heard" that the investigations were being combined Football coach Pete Carroll could not be reached for comment, which isn’t exactly surprising. Enjoy your recent athletic success and much as possible, USC fan, because I have a feeling that the s**t is about to hit the fan…….

- DOH! I’ve never understood or shared the mass love for The Simpsons (adult cartoons have always been very lame to me), but a whole lot of you obviously enjoy the antics of Homer Simpson and his eccentric family. Ratings for the show and its long run on the air would back that statement up, so perhaps it’s appropriate that on Thursday, the U.S. Postal Service revealed five first-class stamps featuring characters from the animated series -- Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie -- that will hit a post office near you May 7. “This is the biggest and most adhesive honor 'The Simpsons' has ever received,” creator Matt Groening said. The USPS chose the show, the longest running prime-time sitcom, from about 50,000 stamp subject suggestions submitted last year. The show seems like a natural fit because its best-known character, Bart Simpson, is an avid stamp collector. “He will serve as a great opportunity to interest youngsters into stamp collecting," said David Failor, executive director of stamp services for the Postal Service. If you want to get an advance look at the new stamps and are so desperate to get your hands on them that you want to pre-order some, you can do both at USPS.com…….

- Noooooooooooooo! Please tell me that those rumors of that brain-dead freak “Octo-Mom” landing a deal reality show aren’t true. Nadya Suleman already passed up the one entertainment industry offer - $1 million from Vivid to do a porno - that she deserves and is qualified for, so don’t reward this tool for a reality series. Sure, reality TV caters to the lowest common denominator in our society and is filled with idiots, a-holes and losers….but none of them quite as idiotic, quite as big a loser or quite as much of an a-hole as Suleman. Her lawyer claiming that she could have a TV deal "by the end of the week" is just heartbreaking. She met with
four production companies this week to explore creating a reality show about life with her 14 children, the latter eight of which she was moronic enough to have after already being saddled with six kids she couldn’t provide for an had no job to support. Suleman is allegedly interested in full-length documentaries as well as traditional reality shows, which could offer a glimpse of her daily life. Her attorney threw out riveting, compelling ideas such as "Nadya dating, taking the kids to birthday parties, learning how to drive a 14-person van.” Boy, I sure wouldn’t want to miss a stupid wench with an IQ of 16 trying to do any of those things. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again….this woman is a blight on society, a selfish, stupid, brain-dead idiot who has neither the mental faculties nor the common decency to know when enough is enough. She probably should have been forced into exile or prevented from having kids after the first five, so why are we still enabling and encouraging her at this point? C’mon everyone, we can do better than that…….

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