- Last night was probably the funniest and funnest episode of Greek so far this season. Watching the laughs unfold as Rusty and Dale both tried to hole up in their off-campus apartment to avoid difficult situations outside those apartment walls was great. When Rusty noticed that Dale hadn’t left the apartment except to go to class for more than two weeks, he decided to do something about it. Of course, those efforts had ulterior motives because Rusty wanted some alone time at the apartment so he could avoid having to be on campus and at the Kappa Tau house to see KT pledge and his KT little bro Andy with his new girlfriend, Rusty’s crush Jordan. First, Rusty enlists the help of his RA from freshman year and current boyfriend of his sister Casey, Max. Together, they stage an intervention at the apartment to attempt to talk Dale into leaving once in a while. The talk backfires and Rusty moves on to Plan B: passive-aggressive tactics. That means inviting more than a dozen of his KT brothers over to the apartment in the hopes of making Dale so uncomfortable that he leaves. This plan actually backfires in two ways: first, Dale makes the best of things and turns into the ultimate party host, making nachos and cookies for the KT visitors. Rusty ends up being the one who can’t handle the clamor and calls it a night. When he wakes up in the morning, the second facet of his plan backfiring happens right away. At exactly 7:59 a.m., the manager of the apartment complex stops by to show a couple of possible tenants around. Rusty and Dale’s place is the model apartment for the complex, so she brings the visitors to the door and when Rusty enters, Sheila is horrified to see the mess inside. KT brothers, empty beer bottles and food are literally everywhere. She informs Rusty and Dale that they have violated the terms of their lease and must be out of the apartment by the end of the day. Of course, Casey’s name is on the lease so she’s also affected. To that end, Rusty and Casey decide that their best plan to avoid eviction is to use the one bargaining chip they have with Sheila: her cougar crush on Dale. They pimp him out by sending him in to Sheila’s office to beg for a second chance. Sheila agrees to give Rusty and Dale another apartment in the building because she’s obviously hot for Dale, which clearly makes his purity-pledge-making self very nervous. Rusty also has to face his fears later in the day when he attends a mixer at Dobler’s and admits to Cappie that he’s been avoiding to KT house because of not wanting to see Andy and Jordan together. He then walks to the end of the bar where Andy and Jordan are hanging out and does his best to be friendly, although the preview for next week would suggest that those efforts are short-lived. But most of the action this week centered on the female side of the show, where Jordan was having a tough time blending in as a Zeta Beta pledge. As her big sister, Casey notices the trouble and tries to make Jordan fit in by showering her with ZBZ love. But when Jordan elects not to hang around to watch Dancing With the Stars with the rest of the pledges, ditches a ZBZ event at Dobler’s and gives away a special ZBZ heirloom (a stuff cat that has been passed down from big sister to little sister for 15 years) to a group of Omega Chi pledges doing a scavenger hunt and in need of an item with sorority letters on it, Casey and Ashleigh decide to ramp their efforts up. They give Jordan a makeover after she admits to being a bit of a tomboy and not having many girl friends. She hates the new look and ends up de-pledging that night at Dobler’s, electing to leave with KT brother Beaver to go back to the KT house and watch Tango & Cash with the guys. Losing a pledge hurts Casey, especially when it comes in the midst of the latest battle between the ZBZ’s and their traitorous former president Frannie, who jumped ship to start her own sorority, Iota Kappa Iota. Frannie’s continual barbs about being the best sorority on campus lead Casey to suggest a competition between the two: a karaoke contest. Losing Jordan and hearing about how the only real girl friends she had were on her old softball team, Casey decides to change the contest to dodgeball in the hopes of winning Jordan back into the ZBZ fold. The ploy works after a spirited ZBZ-IKI dodgeball game in which Jordan is the winning player for ZBZ by eliminating Frannie, the last IKI player. So Casey gets her pledge back, but Frannie’s problems run deeper than losing a dodgeball game. She’s trying to make things work with cheating boyfriend and Omega Chi president Evan Chambers, who threw it in her face last episode that he’s cheating with some local townie. In spite of that, Frannie wants to keep the “business relationship” going between her sorority and his fraternity, even if that means keeping up the appearance that they are still a couple. Evan agrees to still have a social relationship between the two of them and their organizations, but doing so leads to him finding out an interesting truth about Frannie. She admits that her own mother was a trust fund baby like him and passed up the chance for a life of luxury to marry her musician father, who turned around and left them. Frannie wonders if her mother made the right choice, but even this common ground isn’t enough to keep she and Evan together as a couple. Overall, a really fun episode and aside from a dearth of good Cappie moments, it was a winner……….
- First things first: I watched several hours of the NFL Draft over the weekend. I caught the first round, when all of the elite players went and took the next step toward becoming multimillionaires. I was there for the 256th and final pick, when kicker Ryan Succop became “Mr. Irrelevant” by being picked with the last pick of the seventh and final round of the draft. I enjoyed all of the analysis of the picks, especially everyone ripping the Oakland Raiders for what might be the worst draft of all-time. However……enough is enough. Typically, getting overloaded and saturated with a sporting event happens before it occurs, like the relentless hype for a big game that never lives up to its advanced billing. In this case, it happened in the aftermath of the event. I’m pointing the finger at every network - mostly ESPN - and sports Web site that had draft stories non-stop not only during the draft on Saturday and on the day after, but even when Monday rolled around. These knobs are busy breaking down every draft pick from 1-256 and trying to pretend like they can even begin to evaluate this draft right after it happened. Look, I realize that in today’s media culture, instant reaction and analysis are all the rage and that debating or grading everything that anyone in sports does is a given, but let’s face facts here. We’re one year out from the 2008 draft and we still don’t have a full grasp on how teams performed there, so why do I need such excruciatingly detailed breakdowns of draft picks for two straight days AFTER THE DRAFT? There were plenty of other things going on in sports, in case you missed it. The NBA and NHL playoffs roll on, Major League Baseball is going strong and honestly, all three of them are more relevant than three consecutive days of draft coverage……..
- I haven’t been giving out a “Tool of the Week” award, but I may have to start on account of Paul Grayhek, a man in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho who says he has seen a massive hand of God in his life in the form of a rock formation he dubbed the "Hand of God Rock Wall.” I’m not cracking faith of religion at all, but merely tools who claim that they see God in a rock formation, a tree, a pile of grass clippings, etc. These people are idiots and they’re the ones that non-Christians mock when they go looking to make fun of organized religion. Fact is, God didn’t appear to Paul Grayhek in a rock formation and if he did, I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t be cool with Grayhek whoring that rock formation out to the highest bidder on eBay. The hand-like formation, approximately 9 feet tall and 4 feet wide, appeared in Grayhek's backyard after a rockfall during Lent on March 8 - at least that’s the story he’s selling. Now, he’s willing to sell you his little backyard miracle - assuming you can beat the current high bid of $250 early Sunday, with three days left to go in the auction. “I prayed between licking my wounds and looking for a job," he said. “We rarely get rockfalls and this formation is 20 feet from my house. It's definitely a symbol of the hand of God in my life.” But wait, it gets better! Should you win this auction, you won't actually be getting the rock formation. No, it will stay exactly where it is and all you’ll receive are the “complete and exclusive rights" to the rock, including literary and movie rights.” In other words, when this rock formation is starring opposite Vin Diesel or becomes a key character in the next “Twilight” book, you’ll have a huge payday (ironically, the rock formation probably has better acting skills than Vin Diesel). And what does Grayhek plan to do after ripping off some poor sucker for a few hundred bucks? He says he plans to use the money from the sale to pursue an unpaid internship in counseling when he graduates with a master's degree in social work in two years. “People think I'm some holier-than-thou person trying to get rich. I'm not," Grayhek said. "The purpose is to spread the story of God and eBay is just a vehicle.” No, the purpose is to give people something to mock and someone to serve as the butt of their jokes and you definitely fit the bill. So thanks for that, if not for anything else…….
- I loves me a good law enforcement corruption scandal. After all, who can’t get with the idea of those who are supposed to be upholding and enforcing the law being every bit as corrupt as the criminals they’re looking to take down? So when I hear tales of stolen bonuses, a trip to Las Vegas and illegal financial transactions by a sheriff, you know how pumped up I’ll be. Okaloosa County Sheriff Charles "Charlie" Morris was arraigned late last week on counts of federal conspiracy, theft and money laundering. Morris and his former administrative director, Teresa Adams, are alleged to have run a kickback scheme in which they gave fictitious bonuses to sheriff's department employees, who were then directed to return some or all of the bonus money to them via cash or cashier's check. The employees were reportedly told the money would be given to charity. Of course, that isn’t where the money went - not by a long stretch. A joint investigation by the FBI and IRS found that after the sheriff handed out $194,002 in bonuses, $115,500 was returned in kickbacks. Morris and Adams gave bonuses to 15 employees ranging from $3000 to $15,000, with kickbacks ranging from $1000 to $12,000. “It was further part of this conspiracy that the accounting entries and payroll records… pertaining to the employees who received these illegal bonus payments with subsequent kickback payments were falsified so as to conceal from auditors' review the nature and degree of the kickbacks ultimately received” by the sheriff, according to the indictment. Appropriately enough, the sheriff was apprehended by federal agents during a trip to Las Vegas. A federal indictment was returned against them last week. They are expected to be arraigned on the charges this morning in federal court. Better still, he’s the president of the Florida Sheriffs Association, he's been in office for 12 years and was just re-elected. Hmm, wonder if the good voters of Okaloosa County would like to have a do over on that…..I think so. Still, don’t let them tell you anything other than that you are a perfect example of what law enforcement in many corners of this country is all about, Sheriff Morris. And yes, that is very much true……..
- Well, this “season” (splitting your fall and spring into two truncated, 12-episode blocs and calling them each a season is lame, but Heroes insists on doing it) of Heroes may have done a crap-tacular job of keeping all of its principal characters on screen on a regular basis, but at least they all met up for the final scenes of the season. Washington was the point of convergence for all roads, with Nathan Petrelli at the center of the drama. He returned at the end of last week’s episode to confront Sylar, who now possesses the power to shape-shift into Nathan’s likeness. Of course, Nathan began this week out cold after being tranquilized by Emile Danko last week. This week began with Sylar apparently rising from the dead after Danko thought he’d offed him by putting a knife in what was supposed to be the one vulnerable spot on Sylar’s body, right in the back of the head at the base of the skull. Sylar stands up, informs Danko that his shape-shifting power allowed him to move that spot to a different part of his body and proceeds to levitate Danko and pin him against the wall. He also drags Nathan’s limp body into the bathroom of Nathan’s office and when Danko’s team of agents shows up, Sylar transforms into Danko and shoots at them, taking out two men. Once the agents believe that Danko has turned on them, Sylar morphs into Agent Taub again and helps them apprehend the man who used to be their fearless leader. Danko is taken into custody and hauled off to a holding cell at Building 26. He’s soon met there by H.R.G., who was just outside of Arlington, Va. with his adopted daughter Claire and Angela Petrelli and heading back to D.C. when they passed a contrusction crew on the highway that gave H.R.G. pause. A mile past the construction site, he pulls over and informs Angela and Claire that the construction was fake and that a team of agents will be waiting at a roadblock half a mile ahead. He directs both of them to get out of the car and make the rest of the trip into the city on foot. He goes ahead on his own and sure enough, he’s apprehended at the roadblock and taken to Building 26. Angela and Claire make it safely into the city and to the Senate office building. There, Claire goes to find Nathan while Angela heads her own way to look for Matt Parkman. She has had a dream about Nathan being in danger and in her dream, Parkman was the one who saved Nathan. Angela finds Parkman getting off a bus, fresh from California. He’s hesitant to even hear her offer until Angela assures him that his goal of shutting down Danko’s operation once and for all and her quest to save her son aren’t mutually exclusive. Meanwhile, Claire arrives at Nathan’s office and is greeted by Sylar posing as Nathan. He’s able to keep her guessing as to if he’s the real Nathan by using his power (gleaned from Angela Petrelli, oddly enough) to see an object’s entire history simply by touching it to touch Claire’s necklace and talks about several of Nathan and Claire’s recent experiences together. Sylar/Nathan is on his way out to meet with the president after the president makes an important speech at a nearby auditorium. Claire goes along and when they arrive, the president’s chief of staff greets them and directs them to a private viewing room to wait for the president after his speech. Around the same time, Peter Petrelli finds his way to D.C. and shows up at Nathan’s office to find his still-groggy brother on the bathroom floor. After rousing Nathan, Peter gets the scoop on what’s happening and off the brothers Petrelli go in an attempt to stop Sylar. Things are also heating up at Building 26, where Hiro and Ando are launching their attack. After suffering a nose bleed last week when using his power to stop time, Hiro nonetheless stops time again and he and Ando make their way inside the building. They happen upon the room where H.R.G and Danko are being held and open the door, only to decide that’s not what they’re looking for. They hit up the operations center next and hack into security to find out where all the prisoners are being held. That leads them to the lab where all of the sedated prisoners are and gives Hiro and idea: while time is still stopped, he and Ando free all of the prisoners and put all the agents in their places, with hoses up their noses to sedate them for a change. With that done, Hiro unfreezes time and all of the prisoners are able to get out. However, when Mohinder Suresh is freed and sees Hiro’s weakened condition, he urges him not to use his abilities anymore. Meanwhile, Danko and H.R.G. are also able to escape their holding cell and make good on their plan to go after Sylar. The plan lasts all of a few minutes, right up until Dank tries to use one of the tranquilizers supposedly for Sylar on H.R.G. Hiro intervenes just in time, stopping time and saving H.R.G. by tranq-ing Danko. That allows H.R.G. to get away and get to the auditorium where the president is speaking. On the way there, he calls Claire and is horrified when Sylar morphs into her, answers the call and then reveals his true identity. While everyone converges on the auditorium, Sylar uses the puppeteer skills he stole from Erik Doyle to force Claire to do his every wish, including pouring them some wine and listening as he creepily muses about how alike they are and how that she might some day come to love him rather than want to kill him. Claire vows to never stop trying to kill him, but for the time being, killing Sylar is the task of Nathan and Peter. They show up and storm the room, touching off a ferocious battle. Ultimately, it’s Nathan and Sylar who take flight and do battle in the air, with Sylar winning and slicing open Nathan’s throat after they tumble back into the room they took off from. With Nathan dead, Sylar morphs into him and leaves, declaring that, “Claire is gonna be so mad at me.” Moments later, Angela and Parkman arrive with H.R.G. and find Nathan dead. Angela is crushed, but things aren’t as bleak as they look. When Sylar morphs into the president’s chief of staff and goes with the presidential party as they leave the building, he steps inside the president’s limo and shakes the hand of the Commander in Chief, expecting that doing so will allow him to then morph into the president whenever he wants. That doesn’t exactly happen; it turns out that Peter stole Sylar’s morphing ability during their fight and is posing as the president. He jabs a dose of tranquilizer in a stunned Sylar’s neck, rendering him unconscious. Sylar’s body is then taken back to the same room where he killed Nathan and Angela and H.R.G. come up with an interesting solution. They convince Parkman to use his mind-control powers to force Sylar to believe that he is Nathan on a permanent basis, wiping away all of memories of his life as Sylar. The ploy works, as Sylar awakes, morphs into Nathan and lives as him. The entire group then returns to Coyote Sands, where a funeral pyre is erected. On the pyre, the body of James Martin is placed. Martin is, of course, the shape shifter from whom Sylar took his power and the one whom Danko and Sylar uses as a Sylar double in their attempt to fool H.R.G. into thinking that the real Sylar was dead. Now, Parkman, Angela and H.R.G. use him to fool everyone else. The plan seems to work and after a few moments watching the body burn, everyone turns to go their separate ways. The fourth season ends that way and as per Heroes custom, we saw a quick look at the beginning of the fifth season. In it, Angela visits Nathan/Sylar at his Senate office and as they are headed out to lunch, Nathan/Sylar stops, walks over to a small clock on a shelf and declares that it’s a minute and a half fast. He adjusts it, then walks out to go to lunch. The subtle, yet terrified look on Angela’s face tells the story: Sylar is still lurking inside somewhere. Elsewhere, a former Building 26 agent returns to his apartment and finds a clogged sink is leaking water all over his floor. He checks it out, but the water flows into his living room and comes together in the form of none other than Tracy Strauss. She informs him that he’s “No. 4” and the next scene shows a newspaper on Nathan’s desk with a headline story about the recent murders of four federal agents. So Tracy is back with a vengeance, Sylar is still lurking and who knows what else…..I do wonder where Micah (i.e. Rebel) is, but other than that, a solid finale………
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