- For one night only, Smallville added a new superhero - kind of. Desperate for the inside scoop on the Red/Blue Blur, Lois Lane found herself with a unique opportunity. After being denied entry to an A-list press gala and on her way home with her cousin Chloe, a pair of muggers inadvertently turned Lois into a hero. After the muggers jumped Chloe, Lois was able to ambush them, kick some mugger ass and capture one of the men while the other escaped. The escapee, Bruno Manheim, turned out to be an associated of Ron Milano, the biggest crime boss in Metropolis. The remaining mugger, his view obscured by a swift kick to the head and the dark conditions in the alley, can only glimpse a silhouette of Lois’ face and asks her if she’s some kind of superhero. “Yeah,” she replies. “You can call me Stiletto.” And so a superhero is created in order to jump-start Lois’ journalistic career (Jason Blair would be very proud). Her hope is that by telling the “story” of Stiletto, she can get the Red/Blue Blur interested in talking to her. However, Lois’ editor at the Daily Planet wants nothing to do with her superhero story unless she can provide photographic proof. That leads her to turn to Jimmy Olsen, former Planet photographer-turned-bartender at the Ace of Clubs. Jimmy agrees to take the pictures for Lois, but that lands him in more trouble than he could have imagined. While Lois and Chloe have been trying to find who mugged them and stole Chloe’s laptop containing all of her vital League of Justice (Green Arrow, Aquaman, Flash, Cyborg, etc.) files, Manheim has been making a power play of his own. When Ron Milano objects to the mugging and common street crime, Manheim decides he’s had enough of working for someone else. Right in the middle of Milano’s massive counterfeiting operation, Manheim guns him down. Milano had been seeking to take his crime syndicate big time by using green meteor rock as the ink to make counterfeit money, but Manheim decided to take it all for himself. His first order of business was to take out the growing number of superheroes fighting crime in Metropolis, beginning with Stiletto. When Jimmy shows up late for work at the club because he was taking Lois’ pictures as Stiletto, Manheim snatches away his camera and sees the images. He demands that Jimmy tell him where Stiletto is and when Jimmy won't tell, he gets pummeled for his efforts to protect a friend. A beaten, bloodied Jimmy in thrown into a back room at the club and stays there for the time being. Clark attempts to track down Chloe’s laptop so her top-secret files can't be hacked, but by the time he gets to the police station to talk to the captured mugger, he’s been bailed out by an attorney working for Ron Milano. Later in the night, Clark and Lois are both lingering in the basement at the Planet - Clark listening to the police scanner so he can go around saving people like he always does and Lois looking to do the same so she can end up at the same crime scene as the Red/Blue Blur and talk to him. When a robbery at a jewelry store comes across the scanner, Clark waits for Lois to leave and super speeds to the scene. He foils the robbery and by the time Lois arrives, the thief is bound up and stashed in a nearby alley. Clark spots Stiletto eyeing the captured crook and approaches, intending to talk to her. He’s already been prodded by Chloe to consider forging a connection with Stiletto because another superhero might understand what he goes through and the stress of maintaining a secret identity. Also, fans of the Red/Blue Blur have been lighting up message boards with chatter of a possible Blur-Etto (I still hate stupid celebrity couple mash-up nicknames, even for fake couples on fictional shows), but all Clark wants is to find Chloe’s computer. When an unsuspecting Lois spins around expecting to talk to the Blur, Clark quickly recognizes her and isn’t fooled when Lois attempts a British accent to throw him off. Clark isn’t buying it and takes off Lois’ mask. He urges her to stop playing superhero because she could get hurt, but when he lets her in on how Ron Milano’s attorney bailed out the captured mugger so quickly. she turns her energy into following the new lead. Clark insists that he do it alone and speeds over to the Ace of Clubs, where he uses his super hearing to listen in on a conversation between Manheim and one of his men who has been working on hacking into Chloe’s computer. They’ve been able to access the files and Clark knows he must act immediately to stop them from looking any deeper. What he doesn’t know is that there is Kryptonite in the room and by the time he sprints in and finds out, it’s too late. Manheim jumps Clark once the Man of Steel is incapacitated and proceeds to kick the crap out of him. By this time, Lois has made it to the club as well and sees the beating through a skylight as she creeps along the roof. She isn’t sure of what to do and is about to call 911 when her cell phone dies. Her options become even more limited when Manheim pulls a gun and is about to shoot Clark. Acting on impulse and adrenaline, Lois comes crashing down through the skylight and manages to deliver a flying kick to Manheim. In the ensuing Melee, Jimmy and Clark both try to jump in, with Jimmy managing to temporarily wrest the gun from Manheim. However, Manheim recovers and grabs the gun in time to fire a shot headed right for Lois. Clark dives in front of her even though he’s not bulletproof at the moment on account of the Kryptonite. He takes the bullet to his side and saves Lois, with Jimmy jumping in to attack Manheim again and Lois finishing him off. Clark remains on the floor and a frantic Lois directs Jimmy to call 911. Clark gasps for breath and tells Lois that she needs to get him out of the room immediately. She obliges, the trio exits the room and Clark is a-ok. The next day he’s back at work and pretending to be in slight pain from the gunshot wound even though he’s obviously healed up and in perfect condition. Lois is unnaturally nice to Clark, bringing him coffee and pastries and doing some copying for him. Clark enjoys seeing her flustered and off her game, but Lois is soon back to her old, snappy and abrasive self. Her day gets even more exciting when a mysterious red-and-blue invitation lands on her desk. The invite gives her an address and says simply, “We should talk.” When she arrives at the address, Lois spots a scary looking alley off to her right and is doubting her decision to come when a nearby pay phone rings. She answers and on the other end is the Blur. He proves his identity by super-speeding past the phone booth and dropping a copy of the day’s Planet at her feet, with Lois’ invite to the Blur to talk on the front page. From a rooftop just down the street, Clark chats with Lois on a cell phone, using a voice scrambled to hide his identity. He tells her that she needs to have more confidence in her abilities and that when he wants to share his secret with the world, she’ll be the first to know. He also asks her to come up with a better nickname for him than Red/Blue Blur, a project she promises to work on. In turn, Lois says that she doesn’t even want to write the story and is more concerned with what the Blur needs and how lonely he must feel. She offers to be there to listen if he ever needs to talk. Lois isn’t the only one with an unusual new friend; Chloe is still housing Davis Blume/Doomsday in the basement at the Talon. Davis doesn’t actually appear on screen, but when one of Manheim’s men comes to the Talon to rough up Chloe, Davis morphs into Doomsday and drags the thug down to the basement. The next day, Chloe is taking out two trash bags to the dumpster behind the building when she notices blood all over her hands. Realizing what she is doing, dumping the remains of a murdered man, she collapses beside the dumpster in tears. She also has to explain to Clark why she’s cooking a family-sized feast when he comes over to check on her after the dramatic events of the past day. She lies and claims that her mechanism for coping with stress is cooking lots of food, something Clark has never heard of before and finds odd. Feeling pressured and looking to keep her basement secret safe, Chloe says that she just needs space right now. Clark is still suspicious but tries to understand. Jimmy Olsen could use some understanding of his own, but he finds it in pills, not people. Now that he and Chloe are apparently officially divorced (I missed the proceedings, I guess), Jimmy is addicted to pain medication and manages to snag some of Manheim’s counterfeit money to buy pills from a drug dealer on the street after previously being too cash-strapped to buy drugs. Next week, seems that Chloe and Davis will be taking to the road, so that should be interesting. No Green Arrow or Tess Mercer this week, which sucked, but otherwise a great episode…….
- We should all be a little worried that thousands of confidential files on the U.S. military's most technologically advanced fighter aircraft have been compromised by unknown computer hackers over the past two years, right? That’s according to senior defense officials, who explain that the hackers accessed data related to the design and electronics systems of the Joint Strike Fighter through computers of Pentagon contractors in charge of designing and building the aircraft. Also, the hackers gained entry into the Air Force's air traffic control systems and were able to see such information as the locations of U.S. military aircraft in flight. What is this, real life or an extension of this season’s storyline on 24? Perhaps we should do a slightly better job of securing information on the Joint Striker Fighter plane, which is the military's new F-35 Lightning II. After all, it’s designed to become the aircraft used by all of the branches of service. These aren’t discarded, worthless files, either; most of the stolen files focused on the design and performance statistics of the fighter, as well as its electronic systems. The information could be used to make the plane easier to fight or defend against. I mean, shouldn’t the freaking Pentagon be able to protect its own computer system from hackers? These are the people we entrust with defending our country against its most dangerous threats, yet some cyber dorks are able to outsmart them? Not good. When the system used by the aircraft to conduct self-diagnostics during flight is compromised by those computer intrusions, that should scare all of us. And no, I don’t buy the outright denials by Pentagon officials that none of the compromised information was highly classified, because even if it were, of course they wouldn’t admit it. Let’s go ahead and step up security on this project, if you all don’t mind. The Joint Strike Fighter will be produced in several variations for the different branches of service it will be used in, so why not go the extra mile and make sure the project data is secure? Numerous incidents of hackers accessing these files have occurred since 2007, so whatever has been done up to now to protect the data clearly isn’t working…….
- The other attendees to Tuesday’s meeting of the commissioners of college football’s Bowl Championship Series conferences may not have been smart enough or had big enough balls to get behind Mountain West Conference commissioner Craig Thompson’s proposal for an eight-team playoff in the sport, but I’m with him 117 percent. Meeting in lovely Pasadena, Calif., home of the Rose Bowl, Thompson and his fellow BCS commissioners gathered for their regular quarterly meeting. The other commissioners put on their best phony, disingenuous faces and listed as Thompson outlined his proposal for an eight-team playoff and other changes to the current system. They then lied to his face by claiming that they will take the proposal back to their respective memberships for their spring meetings and report back on the response when the group reconvenes in June in Colorado Springs. With a contract in place to continue the current BCS a format through the 2013 season, sadly there is no change imminent. Idiotic a-holes like ACC commissioner John Swofford, the BCS coordinator, described the BCS's relationship with its two television networks and four bowls as "very, very stable and in excellent shape.” As great an idea as Thompson suggested during his 90-minute presentation, he may as well have talked to one of the walls in the meeting room. Not that Thompson is deluded enough to think that a logical, reasonable and intelligent proposal for a playoff is likely to be accepted; he’s a smart guy, after all. “Our board feels there are fundamental flaws in the system," Thompson said. "At what stop-and-go point do you put something on the table? I don't necessarily disagree that it's an uphill challenge. Again, our position is, 'Let's start talking.' Change isn't going to come quickly.” The proposal itself calls for not only the creation of a playoff, but also the scrapping of the use of polls and computers in the BCS rating in favor of a committee that would select and seed 10 teams. The bottom two would play in a "BCS bowl" and the others would play for the national championship. The proposal also wants to recalibrate the revenue sharing. Perhaps the only hope for this system to be overhauled comes not from the BCS commissioners or the corrupt, disingenuous college presidents who cling to the current system with a Vulcan death grip, but from the freaking U.S. Senate. Thompson has been in regular contact with the office of Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-Utah), who intends to hold hearings on the BCS and its many faults. Utah has definitely been ground zero for the fight against the BCS, as in addition to Thompson and Hatch’s efforts, Utah attorney general Mark Shurtleff has argued that BCS is violating antitrust law. Based solely on the efforts and ideas of these three men, I have to say that even though I’ve never been to Utah, it’s one of my favorite states in the Union, no doubt…….
- Give Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh points for originality and a total lack of shame if nothing else. As the semester winds down and the pressure on students ratchets up, the school’s Student Activity Board was looking for a way to help students relax and unwind. What to do when you have thousand of tense college kids, all wound way too tight as finals bear down and the realities of a semester of slacking and procrastinating become unavoidable? The SAB clearly gave the issue a lot of thought and came up with the answer: show some hardcore porn in the Student Union Auditorium. . "The New Devil in Miss Jones" is a hardcore porn film that will be shown on Sunday to any student who would like to attend. Some students are down with the idea, but others aren’t so sure. “I think it's simply entertainment. I know that they show one each semester,” said student Robert Rugart. One critic of the decision was local religious leader Father Andrew Fisher of St. Paul’s Cathedral in Pittsburgh, who enjoys a daily walk on the CMU campus for his spiritual duties. “What would be the purpose of that, what good? What purpose does that serve?” Fisher asked. The university responded by saying in a statement that, “A decision was made to allow this programming choice to continue. Our policy does not prohibit organizations from screening adult films.” Great call, CMU officials. Nothing like turning your school’s student center auditorium into a hardcore porn theater. I’ve never been to one of those seedy, revolting and repulsive venues, but I’m guessing that a lot of pretty sick things go on when people watch a hardcore porn film on the big screen, so hopefully you’re prepared to close down the auditorium for a week or so after this film shows so you can drop a giant Lysol bomb on it and disinfect the whole place about ten times over……..
- You just can't do anything nice for people these days without The Man trying to hold you down. A guy does something fun and harmless like organizing an impromptu pillow fight in front of a Burlington, Vermont mall and now he’s being dragged off to court to face a charge of disorderly conduct. All Darin Cassler, 21 was trying to do was bring a little fun to Church Street in Burlington, but of course the no-sense-of-humor-having cops in town couldn’t just enjoy the fun. They had to arrest Cassler after he led some 50 participants in a fun, pillow-filled romp. The entire pillow fight lasted about two minutes, but of course a video of the event was online and making the Internet rounds by the end of the day. Actually, the event had its origins online. Cassler used Facebook to organize the pillow fight and listed the following rules: 1) Bring a pillow and a container in which to conceal it, 2) Assemble on the street as if you were loitering, do not acknowledge anyone else participating, 3) Our host will shout 'pillow fight' and we will all spontaneously break into a big miasma of feathers and pillows, 4) Soft pillows only!, 5) Swing lightly, many people will be swinging at once, 6) Do not swing at people without pillows or with cameras, 7) Remove glasses beforehand!, 8) The event is free and appropriate for all ages 9) Wait until the signal to begin, 10) This event is more fun with feathers! Some are labeling the pillow fight as a flash mob, which is a term commonly applied to groups or events that organize online, stage bizarre happenings and quickly disperse before they can be stopped. Unfortunately for Darin Cassler and everyone who showed up for a fun, harmless pillow fight on Monday, the authorities in Burlington have a) no sense of humor, b) a ginormous stick up their collective ass and c) a need to suppress fun anywhere and everywhere it may crop up. That being said, props on a pretty cool event…….
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