- Law & Order is like the pesky houseguest of shows on NBC: you just can’t get rid of it. I don’t know the last time the Peacock was L&O-free, but it has to have been quite some time. Best rest assured, fans of the franchise, next year will not be when the network returns to L&O-less operation. The network has sealed a deal with producer Dick Wolf to bring Law & Order: SVU back for an 11th season. Of course, the show could look much different next season, as the new deal covers the show but not leads Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay, whose contracts expire in May. NBC isn’t planning on moving ahead without the two actors and has begun negotiations with both, but contract talks between the network and representatives for Meloni and Hargitay have been contentious in the past. In 2007 the pair inked new two-year deals worth more than $330,000 an episode and Meloni posted a snippy message on his personal website calling the talks "unpleasant to say the least." He added a nice little dig at NBC by saying that, "I'll have much more to say about that when my responsibilities to the show are done.” Hargitay has also hinted in the past that she’s looking forward to life post¬-SVU, a life that won't happen for another year if the two sides can battle through one more bitter negotiation and find a way to bring back the show’s two most famous faces. Oh, and NBC is also working on pickup deals with the other two L&O's, because heaven forbid they fall behind CBS in the Law & Order vs. CSI battle. Both networks currently boast three shows each in their respective franchises, so you have to wonder who is going to blink first. My money remains on NBC…….
- Hearing about how pirates in Somalia and Nigeria are operating, I was struck with a wonderful thought. Seeing as it’s being widely reported that these two groups of pirates, thousands of miles apart and with no communication between them, are using similar pirating tactics and strategies, I came to a great conclusion: the first-ever pirate strategies conference. It needs a better name and perhaps a sponsor, but the concept is rock-solid. Both Somali and Nigerian pirates are employing the same tactics - small speed-boats pulling up alongside their target, boarding them and, often resorting to violence, kidnapping the crew or cargo - and demanding the same multi-million dollar ransoms, so a conference or meeting of the minds seem like a splendid idea. "One of the interesting things about piracy off-shore West Africa, is that it has started to mimic piracy trends off the horn of Africa, places like Somalia," explains Rolake Akinola, West Africa analyst at Control Risks. “Some of the tactics used are increasingly sophisticated, sophisticated weaponry is used by some of those pirate groups and it's becoming much more violent.” See, even the experts agree that both groups of pirates are operating from the same basic playbook, so why not bring them together? Heck, invite pirates from all around the world to come and share ideas. Sure, keeping the event peaceful and non-violent would be a challenge, but what price would you be willing to pay for an open exchange of truly pirate-y ideas and strategies? These pirates are out reeking havoc in international shipping lanes, challenging Africa's rule of law and venturing out hundreds of miles from their bases. They need proper training and a regular influx of new ideas for their operations, lest their act grow stale and tired. There may be no communication between Somalia's and Nigeria's pirates right now, but with the inaugural Pirates of the World Seminar now on its way to fruition, that is going to change. Clearly the governments of major economic powers around the world are putting their heads together and strategizing to shut down the pirate-y goodness on the open seas, so it’s time for the pirates to band together and battle back. It doesn’t matter that Somalia is a barren, dusty failed state and Nigerian pirates operate from the sprawling metropolis of Lagos harbor to the riverine creeks of the Niger Delta region. Fact is, observers see that the two groups are already taking ideas from one another and incorporating them into their own routine, so let’s make this into something concrete. I’m right here, Somali and Nigerian pirates, you know where to find me when you’re ready to talk…..
- Not sure which part of this next story I like best: a drunk dude getting kicked out of a Steak ‘n Shake, the fact that said drunk dude had gotten drunk at Applebee’s and Brubaker’s Pub before arriving at Steak ‘n Shake, that this a-hole was given a perfect out by the cops when they called him a cab and sent him home, that he was so pissed off when he arrived home that he borrowed his daughter’s car and drove to the police station or that he demanded and failed a Breathalyzer test at the police station. No, it was not a banner night for Erik T. Salmons of Copley, Ohio. He was apparently overpriced-casual-eatery hopping, making his way from Applebee’s to Brubaker’s Pub and finally to the ultimate capper for any night out on the town, Steak ‘n Shake. By the time he arrived at his final stop, Salmons was totally hammered and proceeded to annoy and harass employees and other patrons. The cops were called and arrived on the scene to find Salmons, still making an ass of himself. He insisted that he was sober and capable of driving his truck home, but the officers prevailed upon him to take a cab home. Salmons grudgingly complied and went home, but the events of the past hour didn’t sit well with him and in a move that will set him back a good five years or more in terms of getting his daughter to respect him, he took her car and headed straight for: you guessed it, the Copley Police Department. Never mind the fact that he could have simply had his daughter drive him back to Steak ‘n Shake if he really didn’t want to leave his truck there overnight. Dammit, Erik T. Salmons was on a mission and when Erik T. Freaking Salmons is on a mission, you stay the hell out of his way. He marched right into the police station and asked the first officer he saw to give him a Breathalyzer test. The officer complied, administered the test and Salmons blow a 0.12, well above the legal limit of 0.08 percent - UH OH. Salmons was issued a citation for operating a vehicle under the influence of alcohol on the spot and concedes that, “I’m a knucklehead.” No bro, knucklehead is too kind a term for you. Brain-dead tool is perhaps even too kind, because you showcased an impressive lack of judgment, intelligence, competence and reasoning. Being drunk doesn’t even excuse your actions completely; not all drunk people are quite that stupid. Step your game up, my man, because that is one of the more pathetic drunk driving stories I have ever heard…….
- Just like Paris Hilton, you sure are easy, American movie-going public. Hollywood trots out a formulaic sequel to a clichéd action movie, brings back two of the famous faces who kicked off the franchise in its first installment and you flock to the theater. Because of that, “Fast & Furious” vastly exceeded expectations to gross a huge $72.5 million payday this past weekend, bringing in double what most industry observers had predicted for the debut of the fourth feature in Vin Diesel's car franchise. The take set several records, including: best April opening ever, beating "Anger Management's" $42.2 million, best Universal Pictures opening ever (three-day), beating "The Lost World: Jurassic Park's" $72.1 million, best “Fast & Furious opening ever, beating "2 Fast 2 Furious'" $50.5 million and best opening yet in 2009, beatingout "Monsters vs. Aliens" ($59.3 million) and "Watchmen" ($55.2 million). It was obviously the top movie at the box office for the weekend, beating out “Monsters vs. Aliens,” which dropped a respectable 44 percent to finish second with $33.5 million. That brings its 10-day total to $105.7 million, not too shabby. Horror flick “The Haunting in Connecticut” was No. 3 with $9.6 million, with "Knowing" (No. 4 with $8.1 million), and "I Love You, Man" (No. 5 with $7.9 million) rounding out the top five. Finishing just outside of the top five was the weekend's other big new release, "Adventureland," which disappointed with a mere $6 million to finish at No. 6. Overall, the box office was up a monstrous 68 percent from the same frame a year ago, which again continues a trend that has been prevalent for the majority of 2009. People are clearly going to the movies in large numbers, even if the quality of movies seems to be steadily declining…….
- Three games into the Major League Baseball season, I may not know who will win the World Series in 2009, but I can say with absolutely 151 percent certainty who will not: the Washington Nationals. Every team enters a new season with high hopes and its fans believe for at least a few weeks that a magical, playoff-bound season is possible. The Nats allowed their fans to dream big for all of three innings before kicking the living sh*t out of those dreams and every hope for a marginally decent season. Three innings into their season opener in Miami against the Florida Marlins, the Nats were down 6-0. John Lannan, the supposed ace of their pitching staff (he was the Opening Day starter, after all), posted this very impressive line: 3 IP, 6 hits allowed, 6 earned runs allowed, two home runs surrendered and a whopping one strikeout. Not to be outdone, the Washington bullpen allowed six runs of their own over the next five innings and the Nationals’ offense did what the Nationals’ offense typically does: not much. They pushed across three runs and the end result was a 12-3 beatdown. Okay, it’s just one game, you say. There are 161 more in a season and they can’t all be 12-3 drubbings…..can they? No, there are also 8-3 losses in which you surrender eight runs in the first three innings. If Nats fans thought being down 6-0 after three innings of the opener was bad, the 8-0 hole their team dug in Game 2 proved that the first game was abnormally competitive. But fear not, because the mighty hitters of Washington were bound to come to the aid of their beleaguered starter (Scott Olsen, showing John Lannan who’s boss by giving up eight earned runs, two home runs and three walks in three innings), right? Not so much. By the time the Nationals pushed across two runs in the eighth inning and one in the ninth, the game was all but over. So to recap, that’s two losses in two days by a combined socre of 20-6, with a combined line for the two Washington starters of: 6 IP, 14 ER, 14 H, 4 HR allowed, 21.00 ERA. With the indignity of two lopsided losses weighing on them, the Nationals had to respond with an angry fire of effort in Game 3, right? Sort of. They did score two runs in the top of the first inning, their first (and possibly last) lead of the season. A sacrifice fly by Ryan Zimmerman and an RBI single by Austin Kearns staked the Nats to a 2-0 lead…..that Washington starter Daniel Cabrera managed to flush down the crapper by allowing a run in the third inning and four more runs in the fifth inning. He then got help from reliever Michael Hinckley, who faced two batter and retired exactly zero of them, allowing one of Cabrera’s baseunners to score while giving up a hit and a walk. By the time Hinckley left, the Marlins led 5-2 and you knew the Nationals weren’t rallying from that deficit. Sure enough, they rolled over and died, scoring only single runs in the eighth and ninth innings when they had dug themselves a 6-2 hole. Look, I realize that this was not a team that anyone expected to contend for a world title this season, but even for the Washington Nationals this is awful. Three losses by a 26-13 count, that’s just a terrible start to the season. Zimmerman is an all-star caliber player, the team signed slugger Adam Dunn in the offseason and acquired promising outfielder Josh Willingham from the Marlins as well, so it wasn’t out of the question to expect them to look like a semi-professional team this season. I truly am sorry for all you Nats fans out there because it’s clear you could be in for a 110-loss season here and no one wishes that on you. But I feel compelled to warn you that this could be a team that challenges for the worst record in MLB history, so make sure you remove all sharp and breakable objects from your home, don’t watch Nationals games with anyone you don’t want to say something horribly mean to and send your dog outside when watching a game this summer, lest you go looking for something to kick and find Fido. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 Washington Nationals…..
No comments:
Post a Comment