- Freaking Hugo Chavez, you are a beaut. Well, as much as a fascist, oppressive and brutal dictator can be a beaut, he’s one. When he’s not rigging elections and force-feeding his people laws that basically make him dictator for life, he’s often found launching verbal barrages on various leaders of state and looking to get under the skin of governments he despises. Oh, and occasionally he makes insane, far-reaching declarations like saying that any visitor to Venezuela who dares to criticize he or his government will be expelled. But now Chavez is trying a very sly play to curry favor on the international scene while subtly taking a swipe at many other countries. Those countries would be ones that have refused to accept prisoners from the Guantanamo Bay detention center, which U.S. President Barack Obama has said he will close. Most countries just aren’t down with taking in possible terrorists and overall angry individuals who have been imprisoned and tortured in abysmal conditions, Those people tend to be angry, hostile and just a tad bitter. The U.S. government has had door after door slammed in its face while seeking takers for these prisoners, but now Chavez is stepping up to say that he would be willing to welcome them to Venezuela. In typical Chavez fashion, he also took a swipe at the U.S. in the process, saying he hopes the United States will give Cuba back the land on which the naval base is located. “We would not have any problem receiving a human being," Chavez said in an official government release. Call me loco, but I doubt we’re surrendering a base we opened at Guantanamo in 1903, after Spain's surrender in the Spanish-American War of 1898. The fact that it was used for reprehensible purposes by former Ass Hat in Chief W. beginning in 2002 doesn’t mean the U.S. has no right to maintain its presence at Guantanamo. However, leave it to Chavez to suggest that idea and also to implicitly condemn all other nations who wouldn’t accept “a human being” across their borders because that individual could be dangerous and/or looking for some terrorist action. Attaboy, Hugo, show the world your true colors once again……
- The FBI may not be able to do much about people who illegally copy DVDs and music, but at least they can still feel good about being able to hunt the person who stole an "incomplete and early version" of the next installment in the blockbuster "X-Men" movie series and posted it on the Internet this week. News of the theft came from the studio that owns the billion-dollar film franchise, Twentieth Century Fox. Fox said the FBI was investigating who leaked "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," which is set for release in U.S. theaters May 1. Predictably, the digital file quickly spread across the Internet and was available for free, but illegal, downloading from hundreds of easily found Web sites. “The source of the initial leak and any subsequent postings will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law; the courts have handed down significant criminal sentences for such acts in the past,” the studio's statement said. Prosecuting those who posted the pirated file will likely be much easier than removing the pirated files from the Internet, because even though the file was removed from the Web site that first hosted it, the digital file has probably been downloaded tens of thousands of times. Twentieth Century Fox is attempting to downplay the value of the pirated copy, noting that it was not the final version. Sure, because that’s their only play here. They can’t very well allow people to view this file, see the movie and believe they’ve seen anything close to a finished product. No one is going to see the movie in the theater and forking over $10 for a ticket if they’ve already seen the movie. So of course Fox issued a statement saying in part, “It was without many effects, had missing and unedited scenes and temporary sound and music.” At this point, it’s difficult to determine if, or how much, the leaked video will hurt the film's box office earnings. Honestly, I think there will be a minimal impact at best. Fact is, people enjoy the experience of going to the theater and all that goes with it. If anything, getting a taste of the movie will whet their appetite and make them even more eager to see Hugh Jackman as Wolverine. Comic book dorks love seeing their dork books, er, graphic novels up on the big screen. In the meantime, the FBI will continue to investigate and the Motion Picture Association of America will assist in any way possible. Will the main culprit ever be found? I don’t know, but if he or she is then maybe the story would make a good movie…….
- Say what you will about University of Alabama offensive lineman Andre Smith’s abysmal act at the NFL combine, but at least he’s no B.J. Raji. Raji, the mammoth defense tackle project near the top of the draft, apparently decided that it would be a good idea to get baked some time in the weeks leading up to the combine. He allegedly failed a drug test at the combine, and 11 times out of 10 when a pro (or future pro) athlete fails a drug test, it’s because he’s been smoking tree. So while Raji was running sprints, doing sets of bench presses and agility drills, he must have also felt that a solid part of combine preparation was sparking up and getting baked. Being the top defensive tackle eligible for this month's NFL draft, I can see where there might be some pressure on you and you might feel the need to take the edge off somehow. Given that Raji missed the 2007 college season at Boston College with academic problems, I think it’s safe to assume that this isn’t the first time he’s hit the bong (allegedly) and also that he’s not all that bright. Oh, and he did test positive for marijuana during his time at BC, so let’s go ahead and confirm my theory. B.J., I know you’re a big, strong dude and most of the time you can do what you want, when you want, but this is not one of those times. If you want to be a pro baller, one thing you give up is the right to get high whenever you want. Ask Ricky Williams about how the chronic can ruin an NFL career and find a new way to relax, because if you can’t find another outlet you’re going to throw away a lot of money and opportunities……
- Has there been a hole in your life for some time, one that can only be filled by making a ginormous ass of yourself while living in a house with a dozen other strangers and doing so on national TV? If so, your search to fill that void may have just found its conclusion. The unwanted stepchild of reality shows, CBS’ Big Brother, is hitting the road for a number of open casting calls for the series' upcoming 11th season. Beginning today and continuing for the next two weeks, producers will be traveling to New York, Boston, Atlanta, Las Vegas and smaller cities such High Point, N.C., and Flowood, Miss. to hold the casting calls.
The dozen or so attention-starved tools who are selected will follow in the footsteps of ten previous like-minded groups of tools and live inside a camera-rigged house this summer, with their lives taped 24 hours a day as they compete in a number of challenges to win $500,000. You know what you’re getting from this show, namely a few contestants inevitably looking to get their freak on and seeking the nearest warm body to make it happen, plenty of lying, yelling, crying and whining and the lowest common denominator of decency emerging from every last person in the house. To audition at one of the casting calls, you must be a) a U.S. citizen, b) 21 years of age or older, c) a whore for attention, d) lacking in self-respect and common decency and e) fond of doing confessionals, i.e. sitting down in a small room and talking into a camera about your feelings and how much you hate various other people living in the house with you. Big Brother 11 premieres this summer, but no official start date has been confirmed. Best of success if you’re planning to audition, hopefully you’ve already gotten rids of any remaining shreds of your dignity in preparation…..
- I certainly hope there were torches and pitchforks involved when villagers in the English town of Broughton, north of London, ran a Google car out of town as the vehicle was attempting to photograph their town and its homes as part of Google's plan to offer a 3-D street level view of communities across three continents. Most people would be at least slightly amused at their community being part of a project that will introduce it to the world on a grand stage, but not the people of Broughton. In a scene that really would be better with the characters dressed in Medieval garb, rocking torches and pitchforks and running a stagecoach out of town, residents immediately began blocking the path of the car and called police. The hostile locals barred the Google car from photographing their town and asked police to get rid of the unwanted intruders. "I was upstairs when I spotted the camera car driving down the lane," resident Paul Jacobs fumed. “My immediate reaction was anger: How dare anyone take a photograph of my home without my consent? I ran outside to flag the car down and told the driver he was not only invading our privacy but also facilitating crime. This is an affluent area. We've already had three burglaries locally in the past six weeks. If our houses are plastered all over Google it's an invitation for more criminals to strike. I was determined to make a stand, so I called the police.” Okay, so check the notion of lowly peasants chasing someone out of town and replace it with spoiled rich people in an affluent community being worried about someone wanting to break in and steal their luxury goods. God, don’t you just love the indignation and arrogance of rich people, believing that they are too good for something that pretty much no one else has an issue with? I don’t know of any other town whose residents were up in arms over Google's plan for its Street View project to map 360-degree images of roads and homes across the world. Yes, some have lodged complaints over privacy, leading Google to institute automated software that blurs faces and car license plates. A Google spokesman, speaking about the scene in Broughton, said: "Embarking on new projects, we sometimes encounter unexpected challenges, and Street View has been no exception. We know that some people are uncomfortable with images of their houses or cars being included in the product, which is why we provide an easy way to request removal of imagery. Most imagery requests are processed within hours." But dammit, the rich folks in Broughton don’t want to have to make an online imagery removal request like the common man. They take issue with the pictures being taken in the first place and how dare you tread on their town’s hallowed ground……
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