- The world strikes at the Somali pirates and the freaking Somali pirates strike back. A day after the U.S. Navy dramatically rescued an American captain held by other pirates and three Navy SEALS put bullets through the foreheads of three of those pirates, the pirates struck back. Pirates off the coast of Somalia seized two freighters Tuesday, proving that they are indeed the scourge of the seas and won't shrink from this challenge. First, pirates in the Gulf of Aden on Tuesday hijacked the MV Irene EM, a 35,000-ton Greek-owned bulk carrier. Later in the day, pirates on four skiffs seized the 5,000-ton MV Sea Horse, a Lebanese-owned and Togo-flagged vessel. In the face of the vitriolic threats from the United States and an ongoing NATO anti-piracy mission off Somalia called Operation Allied Protector, these pirates won't back down. They seem impervious to the fact that a U.S.-led international naval task force, Combined Task Force-151, is also patrolling in the region. Nor do they care if a vessel like the Maersk Alabama is on its way to deliver an aid shipment to Mombasa, Kenya - it doesn’t matter what the ship is carrying or where it’s headed. As a quick aside, in spite of my love for all things pirate-y, I am ecstatic that the entire crew of the Maersk Alabama made it through this ordeal safely. With all of them safely back in friendly territory, we can all turn our attention to the two freighters seized Tuesday, which are the third and fourth vessels hijacked in two days off the Somali coast. Say what you will about the Somali pirates, but you cannot deny their irrepressible spirit and tenacity…..
- Minnesota has become the political punch line of the nation, but this time it has nothing to do with electing a meathead former professional wrestler as the state’s governor. No, this time everyone is laughing at Minnesota because it’s been 161 days since the November elections that were supposed to determine one of the state’s Senate seats and the seat remains vacant. The race between incumbent Republican Norm Coleman and Democrat Al Franken was hotly contested, so much so that the state’s court system still isn’t sure who won. Not being able to determine who will represent you in the United States Senate is a problem, possibly on par with electing a ridiculous choice for governor with no real political experience. The most recent development in the court process occurred when a three-judge panel ruled against Coleman, saying that “Franken is entitled to receive the certificate of election” after defeating Coleman by 312 votes. However, the Minnesota secretary of state isn’t exactly rushing issue that certificate. The plan is to wait until all legal challenges are exhausted and then hand the certificate to whichever rich, white guy is left standing. Coleman has 10 days to appeal the ruling to the state Supreme Court, but even if he loses there he can always appeal at the federal level. Given that Coleman’s lawyer says they’ll appeal to the State Supreme Court because the lower court’s order “wrongly disenfranchised” thousands of voters, I’m guessing that federal appeal is likely as well. Franken remains confident that he will be certified and to that end, he’s calling on Coleman not to appeal and to “let me get to work as soon as possible.” One cogent point Franken did make was that it’s time for Minnesota to have 2 senators like every other state. Well put, Al. The land of 10,000 lakes may not be populated by a lot of competent, intelligent voters, but even those inept imbeciles who elected Jesse Ventura as their governor should have two U.S. senators….I think….maybe…….
- I love the National Football League. It’s unquestionably the most popular professional sport in this country right now, well ahead of the NBA and Major League Baseball. I’ll also be the first to admit that I watch a sizeable chunk of the NFL Draft, which comes up next weekend. I play fantasy football and watch as many games as possible each weekend. That being said…..ff you spent even one second watching the NFL schedule release on TV, you are a loser. Yes, the NFL had a two-hour special on ESPN Tuesday night to announce the release of the schedule for the 2009 season. Personally, I didn’t watch a single second of the debacle, so I don’t know all of the specifics. However, I can imagine what it was like: lots of talking heads breaking down schedule difficulty, projecting which Monday Night Football matchups will be the best and analyzing which teams were given the most prime-time matchups. For two solid hours, these idiots rambled on and on, totally oblivious to the fact that THE SCHEDULE IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT RIGHT NOW. Between now and the season, the draft will happen, many teams will suffer serious injuries to key players and a variety of other factors will drastically alter the complexion of teams. The teams you see on the schedule right now that are slated to match up in Week 4 will likely look very different by the time that game rolls around. Just think, at this time last year, New England Patriots fans looked at their schedule and if they saw a tough opponent, thought, “Yeah, but we’ve got Tom Brady, best quarterback in the game. He’ll win us that matchup against ___________________ (insert tough opponent name here).” The problem with that line of thinking was that Brady blew out his knee in the first game of the 2008 season and New England’s championship hopes basically went up in flames. Some teams will also botch the draft, wasting valuable draft picks and depriving their team of needed talent upgrades. Other teams will make fantastic draft picks and/or trades and become much better between now and the start of the season, so evaluating the schedule now is futile. These are the very reasons the NFL instituted flex scheduling with TV networks in the latter half of the season; matchups that look appealing prior to the season can end up sucking royally a few weeks into the campaign. So hopefully you didn’t waste any of your time watching that two-hour debacle Tuesday night, because I know I’m glad that I didn’t…….
- From here on out, officials at the high-security prison in the Boyaca state of north central Colombia may just want to declare it open season on all birds in and around their facility. After a carrier pigeon was used in an attempt to smuggle cell phone parts into the jail, it’s time for the prison to give guards the green light to blast away at these feathered felon-helpers (sorry PETA….no wait, I’m not). The bird was carrying the contraband on its back in a little suitcase, but heavy rains prevented the creature from entering the prison. No word yet on who was responsible for packing those cell phone parts into the tiny bird backpack and attempting to smuggle them into the prison, nor have authorities revealed if they know whom the parts were intended for. Call me crazy, but I’m guessing that the assembled phone was going to be used for some sort of illegal drug activity, given the fact that this is Colombia and that’s the sort of business you wouldn’t want to discuss over one of the land lines inside the prison. The big issue now for prison officials is what to do about this new tactic, as there are many pigeons living around the prison and they have to wonder if any of them are secret drug cartel carrier pigeons. My solution would eliminate that concern and in Colombia, where animal rights nuts aren’t nearly as vociferous or prevalent as they are in the United States, it’s a plan that just might work. You know where to find me if you need me, Colombian prison officials. I’m here to help…….
- Boom! Right there, let’s run that back and…..BOOM! See that right there? John Madden, he stepped up right there….BOOM….this morning and announced that he’s retiring from broadcasting. The announcement ends a legendary career that began more than four decades ago when Madden was a Hall of Fame coach for the Oakland Raiders. He guided them to s Super Bowl title before leaving coaching to enter the broadcast booth, where he spent the better part of three decades calling the action for fans around the world. He won 16 Emmy awards for outstanding sports analyst/personality, created the most popular football video game on the market today and became known for his signature style that included the word “Boom!” approximately five times during every single replay. "It's been such a great ride ... the NFL has been my life for more than 40 years, it has been my passion -- it still is," he said in a statement released by NBC Sports. Madden worked with more broadcasting partners than I can even remember, but perhaps no pairing was more famous than Madden and equally iconic broadcaster Pat Summerall on Fox’s NFL coverage. Madden’s final gig was on NBC’s Sunday Night Football, where he teamed with fellow legend Al Michaels to help the network usher in its return to broadcasting the NFL. This is a melancholy happy trails, but at least we are bidding farewell to Madden simply because he is retiring and not because he passed away, because saying adios to one legendary voice (Harry Kalas) this week was one too many……
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