Posts
- Know what we haven’t had enough of lately? Good Ponzi schemes, that’s what. Everyone loves a solid Ponzi scheme, roping people into a total sham business and forcing them to sucker others in as well in order to make back their money, good times. Well, thanks to Andres Pimstein of Miami, Florida, that drought is over. Federal prosecutors have charged Pimstein with 12 counts of wire fraud in connection with the scheme that lured University of Miami employees to help him pull off the multimillion-dollar scheme that cost investors more than $20 million. This came to light after lawsuits filed by an angry investor and a former business partner of Pimstein were filed, alleging that Pimstein -- a University of Miami business school graduate -- recruited university employees and used school facilities to facilitate the scheme. According to the lawsuits, Pimstein used detailed flow charts and fake invoices to persuade would-be participants, telling them his firm would be selling perfumes and electronics to a South American department-store chain with which he had no actual business. Now that is a solid one, a fake perfume-selling scam and an international flavor by involving the South American department-store chain, very nice. Well, nice unless you object to bilking people out of millions of dollars, then maybe not so nice. That could be why Pimstein faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted. For those not familiar with the particulars of Ponzi schemes, they work by paying early investors from the principal paid in by later investors instead of from actual profits, which don’t really exist. For Pimstein, things were going along swimmingly until his entire operation collapsed in early 2008 after he was no longer able to pay investors their promised returns of 18 to 36 percent. Hmm, and you don’t think you should be suspicious when a person offers you an 18 to 36 percent return on investment for a murky, vague foreign company? Part of me thinks that the idiots who got suckered in by this scam almost deserve what they got - almost. Look for the prosecution in this one to go quickly, what with Pimstein admitting to the scheme in a taped interview Miami-Dade County police, with the recording turned over to the FBI. But good to see the Ponzi scheme making a comeback, I’ve missed it…..
- Here is something that should never happen in a football game. A player should never be injured because he runs into a wagon left out near the field of play by a band dork. Such is the case of University of Houston wide receiver Patrick Edwards, who broke his leg Tuesday night when he ran into a cart used by band dorks to haul instruments and gear and broke his leg during a game in Huntington, West Virginia against the Marshall. Edwards was going after a pass at full speed in the third quarter when his right shin hit the cart in the back of the end zone. The nearest referee immediately called for help and Edwards was carried off the field and taken to Cabell Huntington Hospital where he underwent surgery on the leg. Talking about the incident, Edwards says he never saw the cart before hitting it. “I just saw the ball in the air and once it came down, I hit the cart and flipped over it,” Edwards stated. Ironically, while Edwards says he doesn’t hold any animosity toward the band dorks who left the carts on the field, his mother, Patricia Edwards, says that she is considering legal action against Marshall. Under the heading of too little, too late, Marshall athletic director Bob Marcum said the carts, will be relocated at future games. Couple that with an apology that does no one any good, with Marcum saying in part, “We are sorry the accident took place and wish Patrick a quick and full recovery," and you have a whole lot of empty words being thrown out. Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that the game was televised nationally by ESPN and the accident has already been shown thousands of times online. The grisly details of the incident are that Edwards, Houston's leading receiver with 634 yards on 46 catches, suffered a compound fracture and had a rod inserted in his lower right leg. Still, he expects to make a full recovery and be back on the field next season…….
- Thank God. Finally, one of the most ridiculous, retarded and lame shows on television is going to end. Nothing outside of reality shows is as pathetic as adult-oriented cartoons, and chief among those offenders has been Fox’s “King of the Hill.” The show chronicles the life of blue-collar family man Hank Hill of Texas and his family and friends. It is chock-full of humor that would be insulting to a first grader and once again, cartoons are for kids and if adults want to watch cartoons, they can watch the ones designed for kids. So I am ecstatic to hear the Fox is canceling this terrible show and that final episodes of the half-hour series, now in its 13th year, will air during the 2009-10 season. Not soon enough for me, but then again, 13 years ago would not have been soon enough for canceling this certified piece of crap. Sadly, Fox didn’t totally come to its senses, because it has renewed another of its moronic adult cartoons, the equally ridiculous “American Dad,” which will return for a fifth season. The “King of the Hill” cancellation comes after the show has earned relatively flat ratings early this season. I’d be fine with the cancellation of all adult cartoons - The Simpsons, King of the Hill, American Dad - on Fox, the only major broadcast network who standards are low enough to allow them on air, but for now I’ll take what I can get…..
- Not a good week for prominent sports agent Leigh Steinberg, who was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in public on Oct. 22 in Newport Beach, Calif. Steinberg was taken into custody about 8 p.m. on Oct. 22 after police received a report about a man “screaming and attempting to climb a hill” above the Newport Auto Center. They arrived on the scene and found Steinberg, whose speech was slurred even though no alcoholic beverages were found. It’s a sad turn for a guy who has acknowledged a battle with alcoholism, and appears to have relapsed into those bad habits. After his arrest, Steinberg was taken to the city jail, where he was booked for investigation of public intoxication and released on his own recognizance pending a Dec. 8 court hearing. Before being released, he also signed a statement that said police planned to seek criminal charges and promising to appear in court. An interesting twist in the story came later in the day when there was no record of Steinberg's latest arrest in the district attorney's computer, meaning it was not immediately possible to determine whether he had been charged. Bottom line here is that I am definitely rooting for Steinberg, a good guy with a major alcohol problem, to beat his demons. He has represented such big names as boxer Oscar de la Hoya and quarterbacks Troy Aikman, Steve Young and Drew Bledsoe, but all the while he has been battling his addiction, as evidenced by the fact that in April 2007, he was arrested for investigation of drunken driving after his Mercedes hit three parked cars and knocked over a fire hydrant. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges. That came a decade after a 1997 incident in which, Steinberg was sentenced to community service after being arrested in Newport Beach for investigation of drunken driving when he hit a car, injuring the driver. Get help and get right, Leigh, because I don’t like where this is heading and if it keeps going that direction, it’s not going to end well…..
- Nobody is a bigger college sports fan than I am, but you’ll have to excuse me for not being down with the Clarke County (Ga.) School District for call off school today, the day before the huge Florida-Georgia college football game in Jacksonville, Florida. The game, which I continue to call by its now-banned name, The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, is a major battle every year, but that doesn’t justify calling off school for a day. Yes, last year 137 teachers last year in the district, which includes the University of Georgia, called in sick the day before the big game, and the district was able to find only 113 substitutes. Looking back after that tough day, school administrators found a pattern -- almost twice as many teachers call in sick the Friday before the annual game in Jacksonville, Fla., about 360 miles away, than on an average school day. Hmm…..I’m guessing that most of them weren’t sick, but maybe I’m just overly cynical. What is garbage here is that it’s the freaking day before the game, not the day of. Show up for work, then if you want to go to the game, you’ve got plenty of time to drive down and be there the night before. If you call of sick that day, you should have to produce a note from your doctor and certified medical proof of your illness, otherwise you are docked two days’ pay. And the district calling off school completely - that’s just crap, period. Like I said, I love college sports and I’m one of the crazies staying up until 2:15 a.m. during college basketball season to watch West Coast Conference games, but even I can’t go along with this one…..
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Smallville recapped, election disasters foretold and idiot comics in England rebuked....good times
- Oh China, you crack me up. Because who doesn’t get a good laugh out of you foisting one toxic, potentially lethal product after another on the world? You put dangerous chemicals in toys, food, toothpaste, into milk power for infants and now into eggs. Your continual pursuit of making the world sick, literally, is hilarious. Who else but the wacky Chinese would even consider such an endeavor? So as you can imagine, I am laughing my butt off at news that health authorities in Hong Kong have found more eggs contaminated with the chemical melamine, and since Hong Kong is part of China, there’s the obvious connection . This particular chemical is at the center of a tainted milk scandal that has sickened more than 50,000 children across China, but you know the Chinese, they can’t be contained to any one product, they’re too big for that. So I guess eggs were the next logical move, with contaminated eggs found in a batch produced by Jingshan Pengchang Agriculture Product Company, located in Hubei province, about 430 miles (695 km) east of Shanghai. And no, I don’t want to hear about how these eggs were allegedly much lower in melamine content than contaminated eggs produced by Hanwei Eggs that were discovered last week in Hong Kong, because the bottom line is that the Jingshan eggs were still above the legal limit. In other words, doses of a
chemical used in making plastics and fertilizer should not be ending up in food that you intend for anyone to consume. So health officials in Hong Kong, quit spinning this by saying that there's little risk to human health and that a child would have to eat perhaps 20 eggs a day for the melamine to have an effect, no dice. Thankfully, at least one major retailer agrees with me on this - Wal-Mart. The company has pulled Hanwei eggs from the shelves of its supermarkets across China. But hey, nothing screams burgeoning global superpower quite like churning out toxic, chemical-laden products at the rate of one or two per month….
- Wonder how MTV feels about its choice of that knob Russell Brand to host its recent Video Music Awards show now? Not only did brand and his lame-ass humor bomb out on the show, this idiot is now at the center of a huge controversy that has the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) suspended one of its best-known stars while Brand resigned Wednesday for broadcasting a series of "gross" and abusive telephone calls. Brand and talk show host Jonathan Ross started this debacle earlier this month when they attempted to contact comedy actor Andrew Sachs for an interview on Brand's radio show. Showing that they are neither smart not armed with an Internet connection and rudimentary knowledge of a search engine, both of these tools failed to realize that Sachs -- who played a Spanish waiter in John Cleese's 1970s TV comedy "Fawlty Towers,” is not around to talk, so instead, they went brain dead and left a series of messages on the veteran actor's phone, joking about Brand's sexual relationship with Sach's granddaughter Georgina Baillie, 23. Nice of you to resign and issue a statement saying you take “complete responsibility” for the incident. “As I only do the radio show to make people laugh I've decided that, given the subsequent coverage, I will stop doing the show,” he said. Thanks for that, R., but you could have stopped doing it a long time ago and most of us wouldn’t have missed you. There’s a definite line between being funny and being an a-hole, and joking
that Sachs might kill himself on hearing the news you were “announcing” was over that line. Oh, and verrrry heartfelt apology the week after the incident, an “apology” in which you said the calls were "funny.” Know who didn’t think you were funny? The 15,000 people pissed enough to call and leave messages of complaint with the BBC. Know who else wasn’t down? Prime Minster Gordon Brown, who called the stunt “inappropriate and unacceptable.” Oh, and maybe stay on your side of the pond and don’t bother coming over to the U.S. anymore, R., we don’t know your brand of entertainment here….
- It’s about freaking time. Former Oakland Raiders coach Lane Kiffin has finally returned fire at that senile, semi-coherent, franchise-ruining corpse Al Davis, officially filing his complaint yesterday to claim his lost salary from the team following his firing. After that pathetic, rambling press conference Davis held where he hearkened back to the 1950s by using an overhead projector to display points of why he was firing Kiffin (didn’t want to draft Jamarcus Russell, whom Davis called “a great player.” Current averages for Russell? A verrrry studly 179.7 passing yards per game, less than one touchdown per game. Yup, that sure is great, Al). Kiffin has taken his sweet time, laying low since being fired on Sept. 30 after the Raiders' fourth game "for cause". It wasn’t until yesterday that Kiffin finally made good on his promise to seek payment for the remainder of his contract, filing the complaint through the NFL Coaches Association. It will now go straight to commissioner Roger Goodell, but there is no timetable set for hearings and the case may not even be heard before the end of the year. Here’s hoping that Kiffin gets what he’s seeking, namely the $2.6 million of salary he is owed under terms of his contract. Davis is a crabby, crotchety, senile old bastard who is choking the life out of his football team and needs to stop changing coaches on a whim. Making him pay the money he owes Kiffin might make him pause and think next time he goes to fire his head coach for the heck of it, in say, six months or so. Maybe no one told Al, but most NFL coaching contracts are guaranteed and none of the bogus claims he made against Kiffin in trying to support the firing should hold up in this case……
- For all the close calls Clark Kent has had during the seven-plus seasons of Smallville, last night was one of the most interesting ones as far as seeing how CK would weasel out of someone exposing his secret. His wave of good Samaritan deeds around Metropolis had provoked a warning from friend John Jones/Martian Manhunter last week that if he wasn’t careful, Clark’s identity and secret could be revealed. That nearly came true when Clark saved Lois Lane’s life after a mugger attacked she and Jimmy Olsen as they walked down a dark city street. The mugger turned out to be less than random by episode’s end, but at the time his identity wasn’t the issue. What was the issue was Jimmy snapping a pic of the scene as Clark super-sped through to save Lois. The picture turned out to be crystal clear except for one detail - the hero was a red-and-blue blur. That didn’t stop Jimmy from pushing the photo and miracle hero story to new Daily Planet/LuthorCorp boss Tess Mercer, who liked its sensationalism. Offered the chance to write the story, Clark declines because he thinks putting himself in the spotlight like that, even if no one knows it’s him who is the blur in the picture, is a terrible idea. But Jimmy continued digging into the story and uncovered miraculous heroic acts dating all the way back to Clark and Chloe’s time in Smallville, back to their days in the ninth grade. When Jimmy travels to the Kent farm to talk to Clark and see if anyone CK remembers from high school might have stood out as a superhero. Things take a turn for the worst when Jimmy spots an old Kent family photo with Clark in red and blue, just like in the picture from the mugging, and puts two and two together. He pegs Clark as the mystery hero and Clark denies it, then super speeds off to Metropolis and tracks down Chloe at the Isis foundation for her help. After initially telling Clark the day before that maybe the public believing that a hero like him does exist, Chloe is amazed Jimmy figured things out and as she and Clark discuss ways to fix the problem, Jimmy arrives after a harried drive from the farm. Seeing Clark beat him there, Jimmy accuses him of super-speeding to the city and points to it as more proof that Clark is a superhero. Then, Jimmy storms off after Chloe and Clark both insist that his theory is wrong, vowing to find tangible proof. That leaves Clark to scramble for a way to throw Jimmy off his trail, a quest that leads him to Oliver Queen’s private jet. Clark finds Oliver readying for takeoff for a vaction to the Bahamas, three uber-hot girls all over him and a drink in his hand. When Clark demands to talk to him in private, he is able to convince Oliver to help with a plan to divert Jimmy’s suspicions. That plan has Clark meeting Jimmy on the street and having Chloe drive a car that nearly runs him over before Oliver swoops in and saves him while wearing red and blue. The plan is thrown a curve when Clark gets a desperate call for help from Lois, who is in a pickle of her own. She has met a guy named Kane, who pretends to be a new reporter at the Daily Planet but is really a meteor freak whom LuthorCorp held at its Black Creek, Montana facility where Chloe was also held captive. Kane can scan people’s entire life history in his mind just from touching them, so Tess is using him to try and find out who stole her Kryptonian crystal she found in the Arctic near where Lex Luthor disappeared. Kane asks Lois out on a date, not knowing she has recognized him as a former Black Creek resident from a jump drive she stole from the Luthor Mansion, a drive containing files on many of the activities and prisoners at the facility. Lois says yes to the date so she can write a story and expose Kane, whose real name is Wilson. But the date goes sour when Kane/Wilson scans Lois, finds she doesn’t have the crystal and is contacted by Tess, who suggests he kill Lois. He tries, first by attempting to get himself invited up to her apartment for a nightcap. When Lois refuses, he follows her inside and attacks her with a gun. Lois is able to find him off long enough to call Clark for help, right in the middle of his plan to fool Jimmy. Clark is forced to abort and go save Lois, then super-speed back to where Jimmy is. As he gets there, Jimmy is being mugged by the same mugger who jumped Lois the previous night, a man working for Tess to abduct people who might know where the crystal is. Oliver, perched on a rooftop nearby, sees the mugging unfold, realizes something is amiss and springs into action. He saves Jimmy, knocks the mugger out and flies onto another rooftop using a zip line attached to one of his arrows he uses as Green Arrow. Clark comes on the scene just after that and when Jimmy accuses Clark of being the hero, CK point to the caped figure on the roof and says that’s the true hero. Jimmy buys it and apologizes to Clark for fingering him to begin with. However, the enthusiastic reaction to the hero and the resulting story makes Clark see that being a figure of hope like that might not be so bad. He has another talk with Oliver aboard his jet and when Oliver says he’s going back to fighting evil instead of jet setting around the world and partying, Clark sounds ready to join in. As Oliver heads off to Europe for a meeting of the Justice League, it seems like Clark is ready to be a part of their efforts. So another crisis of revealed identity averted, and that’s all until next time kids…..
- Remember that whole voting debacle eight years ago in Florida, the one that paved the way for eight years of the worst presidential performance in American history? How would you feel about some more election hijinks and shenanigans as one of the most faithful followers of the policies of that ass hat elected in 2000, W., is running for the nation’s highest office? See, I KNEW you would be excited. Yes, a mere eight years after Florida's hanging hijacked the election and led to voting changes in states around the country, many election observers remain concerned about the accuracy of the electronic voting systems most Americans will use November 4. Actually, those claims have merit already as early voting underway in 31 states, has borne out these problems. In recent weeks, voters in West Virginia, Colorado, Tennessee and Texas have reported that touch-screen machines registered their votes, at least initially, for the wrong candidate or party. Super news, everyone! Never a good sign when a problem with something as important as voting is lampooned in and episode of “The Simpsons,” the one set to air this Sunday which has already been leaked on the Internet and features a scene in which Homer's electronic vote for Barack Obama is recorded for John McCain by an evil voting machine that then devours him. So let’s all look forward to the possibility and near-certainty of touch-screen machines failing or registering votes for unintended candidates, optical-scan systems can having trouble reading paper ballots that are too long or marked with the wrong ink and electronic voting machines being hacked as our nation’s future hands in the balance, good times! And thanks to Democratic Sen. Rush Holt of New Jersey for being there to bolster our confidence in the electoral process by….well, I’ll let him tell you in his own words. Take it away, Senator! Tell us we’re wrong to fear impending disaster. “You can be almost certain that there will be irregularities in some places around the country,” said Rep. Rush Holt, D-New Jersey. Umm…..that’s not inspiring confidence. If anything, it adds fuel to the fire of negativity. But maybe I misunderstood you, so go ahead and clarify. “The problem now is that roughly a third of voters nationwide will use unverifiable electronic machines. So if there are uncertainties, there will be no way to resolve them,” Holt declared. Great, so disaster approaches and there’s nothing we can do about it. Election Day 2008, it’s Faaaaaaan-tastic…….
chemical used in making plastics and fertilizer should not be ending up in food that you intend for anyone to consume. So health officials in Hong Kong, quit spinning this by saying that there's little risk to human health and that a child would have to eat perhaps 20 eggs a day for the melamine to have an effect, no dice. Thankfully, at least one major retailer agrees with me on this - Wal-Mart. The company has pulled Hanwei eggs from the shelves of its supermarkets across China. But hey, nothing screams burgeoning global superpower quite like churning out toxic, chemical-laden products at the rate of one or two per month….
- Wonder how MTV feels about its choice of that knob Russell Brand to host its recent Video Music Awards show now? Not only did brand and his lame-ass humor bomb out on the show, this idiot is now at the center of a huge controversy that has the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) suspended one of its best-known stars while Brand resigned Wednesday for broadcasting a series of "gross" and abusive telephone calls. Brand and talk show host Jonathan Ross started this debacle earlier this month when they attempted to contact comedy actor Andrew Sachs for an interview on Brand's radio show. Showing that they are neither smart not armed with an Internet connection and rudimentary knowledge of a search engine, both of these tools failed to realize that Sachs -- who played a Spanish waiter in John Cleese's 1970s TV comedy "Fawlty Towers,” is not around to talk, so instead, they went brain dead and left a series of messages on the veteran actor's phone, joking about Brand's sexual relationship with Sach's granddaughter Georgina Baillie, 23. Nice of you to resign and issue a statement saying you take “complete responsibility” for the incident. “As I only do the radio show to make people laugh I've decided that, given the subsequent coverage, I will stop doing the show,” he said. Thanks for that, R., but you could have stopped doing it a long time ago and most of us wouldn’t have missed you. There’s a definite line between being funny and being an a-hole, and joking
that Sachs might kill himself on hearing the news you were “announcing” was over that line. Oh, and verrrry heartfelt apology the week after the incident, an “apology” in which you said the calls were "funny.” Know who didn’t think you were funny? The 15,000 people pissed enough to call and leave messages of complaint with the BBC. Know who else wasn’t down? Prime Minster Gordon Brown, who called the stunt “inappropriate and unacceptable.” Oh, and maybe stay on your side of the pond and don’t bother coming over to the U.S. anymore, R., we don’t know your brand of entertainment here….
- It’s about freaking time. Former Oakland Raiders coach Lane Kiffin has finally returned fire at that senile, semi-coherent, franchise-ruining corpse Al Davis, officially filing his complaint yesterday to claim his lost salary from the team following his firing. After that pathetic, rambling press conference Davis held where he hearkened back to the 1950s by using an overhead projector to display points of why he was firing Kiffin (didn’t want to draft Jamarcus Russell, whom Davis called “a great player.” Current averages for Russell? A verrrry studly 179.7 passing yards per game, less than one touchdown per game. Yup, that sure is great, Al). Kiffin has taken his sweet time, laying low since being fired on Sept. 30 after the Raiders' fourth game "for cause". It wasn’t until yesterday that Kiffin finally made good on his promise to seek payment for the remainder of his contract, filing the complaint through the NFL Coaches Association. It will now go straight to commissioner Roger Goodell, but there is no timetable set for hearings and the case may not even be heard before the end of the year. Here’s hoping that Kiffin gets what he’s seeking, namely the $2.6 million of salary he is owed under terms of his contract. Davis is a crabby, crotchety, senile old bastard who is choking the life out of his football team and needs to stop changing coaches on a whim. Making him pay the money he owes Kiffin might make him pause and think next time he goes to fire his head coach for the heck of it, in say, six months or so. Maybe no one told Al, but most NFL coaching contracts are guaranteed and none of the bogus claims he made against Kiffin in trying to support the firing should hold up in this case……
- For all the close calls Clark Kent has had during the seven-plus seasons of Smallville, last night was one of the most interesting ones as far as seeing how CK would weasel out of someone exposing his secret. His wave of good Samaritan deeds around Metropolis had provoked a warning from friend John Jones/Martian Manhunter last week that if he wasn’t careful, Clark’s identity and secret could be revealed. That nearly came true when Clark saved Lois Lane’s life after a mugger attacked she and Jimmy Olsen as they walked down a dark city street. The mugger turned out to be less than random by episode’s end, but at the time his identity wasn’t the issue. What was the issue was Jimmy snapping a pic of the scene as Clark super-sped through to save Lois. The picture turned out to be crystal clear except for one detail - the hero was a red-and-blue blur. That didn’t stop Jimmy from pushing the photo and miracle hero story to new Daily Planet/LuthorCorp boss Tess Mercer, who liked its sensationalism. Offered the chance to write the story, Clark declines because he thinks putting himself in the spotlight like that, even if no one knows it’s him who is the blur in the picture, is a terrible idea. But Jimmy continued digging into the story and uncovered miraculous heroic acts dating all the way back to Clark and Chloe’s time in Smallville, back to their days in the ninth grade. When Jimmy travels to the Kent farm to talk to Clark and see if anyone CK remembers from high school might have stood out as a superhero. Things take a turn for the worst when Jimmy spots an old Kent family photo with Clark in red and blue, just like in the picture from the mugging, and puts two and two together. He pegs Clark as the mystery hero and Clark denies it, then super speeds off to Metropolis and tracks down Chloe at the Isis foundation for her help. After initially telling Clark the day before that maybe the public believing that a hero like him does exist, Chloe is amazed Jimmy figured things out and as she and Clark discuss ways to fix the problem, Jimmy arrives after a harried drive from the farm. Seeing Clark beat him there, Jimmy accuses him of super-speeding to the city and points to it as more proof that Clark is a superhero. Then, Jimmy storms off after Chloe and Clark both insist that his theory is wrong, vowing to find tangible proof. That leaves Clark to scramble for a way to throw Jimmy off his trail, a quest that leads him to Oliver Queen’s private jet. Clark finds Oliver readying for takeoff for a vaction to the Bahamas, three uber-hot girls all over him and a drink in his hand. When Clark demands to talk to him in private, he is able to convince Oliver to help with a plan to divert Jimmy’s suspicions. That plan has Clark meeting Jimmy on the street and having Chloe drive a car that nearly runs him over before Oliver swoops in and saves him while wearing red and blue. The plan is thrown a curve when Clark gets a desperate call for help from Lois, who is in a pickle of her own. She has met a guy named Kane, who pretends to be a new reporter at the Daily Planet but is really a meteor freak whom LuthorCorp held at its Black Creek, Montana facility where Chloe was also held captive. Kane can scan people’s entire life history in his mind just from touching them, so Tess is using him to try and find out who stole her Kryptonian crystal she found in the Arctic near where Lex Luthor disappeared. Kane asks Lois out on a date, not knowing she has recognized him as a former Black Creek resident from a jump drive she stole from the Luthor Mansion, a drive containing files on many of the activities and prisoners at the facility. Lois says yes to the date so she can write a story and expose Kane, whose real name is Wilson. But the date goes sour when Kane/Wilson scans Lois, finds she doesn’t have the crystal and is contacted by Tess, who suggests he kill Lois. He tries, first by attempting to get himself invited up to her apartment for a nightcap. When Lois refuses, he follows her inside and attacks her with a gun. Lois is able to find him off long enough to call Clark for help, right in the middle of his plan to fool Jimmy. Clark is forced to abort and go save Lois, then super-speed back to where Jimmy is. As he gets there, Jimmy is being mugged by the same mugger who jumped Lois the previous night, a man working for Tess to abduct people who might know where the crystal is. Oliver, perched on a rooftop nearby, sees the mugging unfold, realizes something is amiss and springs into action. He saves Jimmy, knocks the mugger out and flies onto another rooftop using a zip line attached to one of his arrows he uses as Green Arrow. Clark comes on the scene just after that and when Jimmy accuses Clark of being the hero, CK point to the caped figure on the roof and says that’s the true hero. Jimmy buys it and apologizes to Clark for fingering him to begin with. However, the enthusiastic reaction to the hero and the resulting story makes Clark see that being a figure of hope like that might not be so bad. He has another talk with Oliver aboard his jet and when Oliver says he’s going back to fighting evil instead of jet setting around the world and partying, Clark sounds ready to join in. As Oliver heads off to Europe for a meeting of the Justice League, it seems like Clark is ready to be a part of their efforts. So another crisis of revealed identity averted, and that’s all until next time kids…..
- Remember that whole voting debacle eight years ago in Florida, the one that paved the way for eight years of the worst presidential performance in American history? How would you feel about some more election hijinks and shenanigans as one of the most faithful followers of the policies of that ass hat elected in 2000, W., is running for the nation’s highest office? See, I KNEW you would be excited. Yes, a mere eight years after Florida's hanging hijacked the election and led to voting changes in states around the country, many election observers remain concerned about the accuracy of the electronic voting systems most Americans will use November 4. Actually, those claims have merit already as early voting underway in 31 states, has borne out these problems. In recent weeks, voters in West Virginia, Colorado, Tennessee and Texas have reported that touch-screen machines registered their votes, at least initially, for the wrong candidate or party. Super news, everyone! Never a good sign when a problem with something as important as voting is lampooned in and episode of “The Simpsons,” the one set to air this Sunday which has already been leaked on the Internet and features a scene in which Homer's electronic vote for Barack Obama is recorded for John McCain by an evil voting machine that then devours him. So let’s all look forward to the possibility and near-certainty of touch-screen machines failing or registering votes for unintended candidates, optical-scan systems can having trouble reading paper ballots that are too long or marked with the wrong ink and electronic voting machines being hacked as our nation’s future hands in the balance, good times! And thanks to Democratic Sen. Rush Holt of New Jersey for being there to bolster our confidence in the electoral process by….well, I’ll let him tell you in his own words. Take it away, Senator! Tell us we’re wrong to fear impending disaster. “You can be almost certain that there will be irregularities in some places around the country,” said Rep. Rush Holt, D-New Jersey. Umm…..that’s not inspiring confidence. If anything, it adds fuel to the fire of negativity. But maybe I misunderstood you, so go ahead and clarify. “The problem now is that roughly a third of voters nationwide will use unverifiable electronic machines. So if there are uncertainties, there will be no way to resolve them,” Holt declared. Great, so disaster approaches and there’s nothing we can do about it. Election Day 2008, it’s Faaaaaaan-tastic…….
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
The season finale of Greek, an entire town at the mercy of a stupid cat and another reason not to watch Dave Letterman's show
- The color red seems to have a lot of power, depending on whom you believe. Some say drivers red cars are more likely stopped by police, while a new study done by researchers at the University of Rochester in New York has found that men find women sexier if they're rocking a red outfit rather than a color such as blue or green. The effect seems to apply only to this one specific quality, as red won't make you look smarter or more competent, says study author Andrew Elliot, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the university. “We only found the effect for attraction, so males don't rate females in red as more intelligent, more likable, or as having a better personality; they only rate her as sexier and more attractive,” Elliot states. And what were the aims for this study? Basically, men were tested to see if they were more likely to want to have sex with a woman or be willing to spend more on a date if she were in red. To test these concepts, 150 heterosexual subjects were put through a series of five studies, in which they rated photographs of women framed in red, white, gray, green, or blue, or with the woman in a red or blue shirt. Their responses were measured on a 7-point scale, with 1 being the least sexy and 7 a smoking-hot chick. Ultimately, the color red added about 1.25 points to the rating, says Elliot. So ladies, if you want a nicer date that costs more, now you have your answer on how to accomplish that: just wear red. So why the heck is red so sexy? Why is that? Among the theories proposed by the researchers include the fact that red is the universally recognized sign of romance, so men may subconsciously associate the color red with sex. Whatever you say, researchers. All I know is this: an ugly, overweight chick is still fat and ugly in red, white, orange, chartreuse, burgundy, almond or teal….
- Never been a big Dave Letterman fan, and I’m not likely to become one is Dave keeps piling on tired, played topics that the rest of us have already been kicking around for months or years and trying to get laughs out of them. And what is more tired than ripping on the vapid, shallow, intellectually stunted reality TV actors on MTV’s The Hills? This cast of characters already had the depth and intrigue of a paper clip the moment they appeared on the air, so now that they are three, four or however many unwatchable seasons into their run they are, this crew has worn out their welcome big time. Yet there was the show’s chief offender of being famous for no real reason, Lauren Conrad, appearing on The Late Show with Dave. Of course, Letterman went for the obvious topic, Conrad’s ongoing feud with surgically enhanced, nearly-engaged-to-a-total-knob, musically talentless Heidi Montag, Conrad’s response to the question was, “Yeah, it’s a little bit of everyone … Throughout the show we have always had problems with each other.” Apparently suffering from one of his regular delusions of being Ed Bradley on 60 Minutes or freaking Barbara Walters, Letterman countered, “That raises the question, maybe you’re the problem. You think?” Amazingly, being the future Mensa candidate she clearly is, Conrad didn’t have an answer. Dave also teed off on reality TV’s biggest tool, a man who brings nothing to the world while taking so much from it - Montag’s boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, telling Conrad, “Spencer, what a weasel. He’s just the worst, that guy.” Weasel? That’s the best you’ve got, Dave? You’re paid outrageous sums of money top make people laugh and that’s all you’ve got. Thanks for reminding me why I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central instead of your lame show…..
- With the rash of NFL players getting popped for performance-enhancing drugs the past couple of weeks, it was only a matter of time before one of the guilty players decided to turn things around and finger someone else for their own mistake. That someone would be New Orleans Saints offensive guard Jamar Nesbit, who filed suit Tuesday against the maker of a weight-loss supplement that caused his positive test. Nesbit is alleging that the supplement was improperly spiked with a diuretic that is banned by the NFL. His lawsuit against the makers of StarCaps, an over-the-counter product, was filed in federal district court in New Jersey. It comes after Nesbit returned last week from a four-game suspension by the NFL after he tested positive for Bumetanide, a substance that helps rid the body of excess water and salt. Under its steroids policy, the NFL considers the substance a possible masking agent for steroids, even if it is allegedly used for weight-loss purposes. It’s the exact same substance that has led to positive tests and possible suspensions for eight Nfl players in the past couple weeks, including three other Saints: running back Deuce McAllister and defensive ends Will Smith and Charles Grant. Those three remain on the team’s active roster pending a consolidated appeal of their suspensions. According to Nesbit, he never appealed his suspension because he did not expect to win. Instead, he sat out his four games and went about trying to recoup his $235,294 in lost salary from StarCaps. Through his attorney, Nesbit explained that he is going after the makers of StarCaps because
“under NFL rules, you are strictly liable for what is in your body. They don't care how it got there, contaminated supplements or otherwise.” As such, there is no way to sue the league, because their policy is a Catch-22 preventing exactly that. Instead, players like Nesbit must sue the makers of the products themselves and look to recoup things like lost salary, money for damage to their reputation and for the alleged intentional, undisclosed spiking of the product with products like Bumetanide. Depending on who you believe here some of Nesbit's leftover pills were tested and found to be contaminated with Bumetanide, which is not listed as an ingredient on the product bottle and packaging. I would be more inclined to side with Nesbit here, but the fact is that pro sports leagues have pre-approved lists of substances that are safe and acceptable, and if you take one of those products and something like this happens, then you have a case. When you go off the board and take something you buy at the local pharmacy, you take this chance and sometimes it comes back to bite you…..
- Hell Week was upon us in last night’s season finale of Greek. Capping a great third season, the focus was on the roughest week of all for the pledges at the three Greek organizations on the show. For the Kappa Tau’s, it was humiliation at the start and a fight at the finish. Their week kicked off with being forced to dressed up in two-piece bathing suits and make ridiculous poses as the brothers snapped embarrassing pictures. They were also ordered to leave the house only to go to class and to come straight back without stopping to eat or do anything else. Rusty managed to sneak in a pit stop to talk with Omega Chi pledge and good friend Calvin Owens, but when the first big test of Hell Week came up later in the day, Rusty was nervous because he had received a warning from KT president Cappie that every year, a few pledges are weeded out during Hell Week. So when the pledges are called out to the back yard of the KT house and one by one, handed plastic cups with goldfish in them, Rusty jumps the gun and believes the pledges are supposed to drink the cup of water, goldfish and all. However, the horrified looks of the brothers indicate otherwise and Cappie informs him that the “bib” he has on is really a goldfish papoose that was to be used to carry around and care for the fish. That was strike one against Rusty, with strike two coming before some sort of weird tribunal/judgment ceremony in which the brothers basically ripped him a new one for everything he’d done during his pledge period, all just for amusement. The brothers sent Rusty out with a warning that he needed to do something great to prove that he belonged at KT. Inspired and terrified, Rusty first sought out the advice of his sister Casey, a Greek system veteran herself. Using her advice, Rusty hatches a plan to break into the Omega Chi house, the biggest rivals for the KT’s, and steal the same pledge paddle he hit Omega Chi president and noted tool Evan Chambers with in Season 1. Sneaking in and getting the paddle prove doable, but escaping isn’t. Rusty is spotted and chased by the entire Omega Chi membership. His KT brothers, just about to begin their initiation ceremony, hear the commotion out in the street and rush outside to help Rusty, resulting in an all-out brawl in which Evan manages to get ahold of the stolen pledge paddle and smash Rusty in the face with it. Cappie comes to the rescure, cold-cocking Evan to even the score. The brawl also caps a wild week in the Omega Chi house, which had been thrown into controversy because Evan was going easier on his little bro in the fraternity, Calvin, than he was on the other pledges. When the other pledges take note as they prune rose bushes with their bare hands and have smelly, poop-like concoctions poured on them as Calvin merely has to clean the house’s honor room and hold a fan to cool the other pledges while they prune, he is forced to make a choice: go against his big bro or risk alienating his fellow pledges. Calvin elects to talk to Evan and ask to have the preferential treatment stopped after the pledges are forced to spend the night sleeping in the back yard while he is allowed to sleep inside. Confronting Evan also leads him to challenge Evan about having a showy, pretentious attitude ever since being given access to his cushy trust fund. Evan accepts the criticism and in response, during initiation he forces Calvin to hold the pledge manual straight out in front of him, arms straight out at shoulder level, for three hours. Calvin gladly accepts the challenge and passes with flying colors. Of course, the ceremony is nothing like the one at Kappa Tau, which is a lot less stuffy but ends with the same result, the induction of the new brothers. Rusty goes through the ceremony with a busted-up face because of the fight, but he’s happy to be a brother. Also, Cappie reveals that the story about pledges washing out each year is a lie and that the only pledge ever to not make it through was Evan, who was a KT pledge but left voluntarily. Doing things voluntarily wasn’t on the agenda for Rusty’s sister Casey, who was forced with a tough choice when her boyfriend of a month and a half, Max, revealed that he had been accepted to grad school at Cal Tech, 2,200 miles away. As the two debate having a long-distance relationship, Casey turns to BFF Ashleigh for advice, then heads to Dobler’s to play pool and clear her head. There, she runs into Cappie, flashing back to their memorable meeting at Dobler’s for pool in Season 1, after which they ended up hooking up. This time, all Cappie imparts is advice, that advice being to accept an internship offer with Paula, the Zeta Beta alumnus Casey met at the ZBZ convention and who is a U.S. congresswoman for the state of Maryland. Casey mulls her choices and ends up telling Max that rather than spend the summer together and then possibly do the long-distance thing, she is taking the internship and leaving in two weeks. That leads Max to make a call to the professor he is going to Cal Tech to work with, a call whose fallout we will have to wait until next season to see. But Max wasn’t Casey’s only problem; because she was distracted, she also neglected her duties as big sister to Rebecca Logan at ZBZ, not getting Rebecca a gift for the big/little gift exchange and blwoing her off repeatedly when Rebecca tried to talk to her. While Casey was shirking her sisterly duties, arch-nemesis Frannie was busy planning a coup to get revenge for losing the recent ZBZ presidential election. As the ZBZ’s are holding their own induction ceremony, with the sisters in black in the pledges wearing white, Frannie storms in wearing a red dress, turns in her sorority pin and deactivates from the sorority before announcing that she is leaving to start her own sorority. Nearly half of the sisters and pledges follow her out, with Rebecca left hanging in the middle, her decision to be made, as the season ends. So that wraps a fantastic Season 3, one I would say is the best of the series so far. Thankfully, Greek will be returning in 2009 for a fourth season, so there is something great to look forward to for next year in television……
- Best of success pinning your town’s economic hopes on a 9-year-old calico cat, people of Kishikawa, Japan. Kishikawa is an isolated town of just a few thousand people, the last stop on what had been a failing train line that is, until they were “rescued” by Tama the cat. Tama used to live a simple life hanging out at the train station next to her home at the grocery store. So how did she become a national star? By adding a freaking hat. Yes, someone dropped a hat on the cat, tilted it to the side and inspired a sensation. The Wakayama Electric Railway decided to use Tama as a mascot, even giving the cat a ridiculous nickname, calling her a “Super Stationmaster,” making a promotional poster for train carriages and dressing her in that stationmaster's hat. And has this shameless ploy worked? Sadly, yes. Tourists now visit Kishikawa to see the cat and to snap a picture. “It's a chance to take a break from the problems facing Japan,” said Haruto Maeda, who took the day off work to see Tama. Yes, Haruto, it is a break - to take a picture with a freaking cat in a tiny hat! Wooo! I bet that made your day so, so much better. It would be that much greater of Tama could come up with a new economic policy, smooth over international relations and figure out a way to solve the population and overcrowding issues facing cities like Tokyo. How much is one stupid, annoying cat worth to this small town anyhow? According to study at Osaka University, Tama IS responsible for pumping $10 million into the local economy. The money flows in from Tama merchandise abounds and formerly empty train carriages that are now full. The train line was on the verge of bankruptcy, but no longer. The town of Kishikawa is enjoying an economic turnaround. As for the star of the show, Tama now lives full-time at the station, with her owner and a friend. Great, but what happens when another town slams a talking parrot into their station and gives it a vest? Enjoy your time in the sun, Kishikawa, just know it says nothing good about you or your town……
- Never been a big Dave Letterman fan, and I’m not likely to become one is Dave keeps piling on tired, played topics that the rest of us have already been kicking around for months or years and trying to get laughs out of them. And what is more tired than ripping on the vapid, shallow, intellectually stunted reality TV actors on MTV’s The Hills? This cast of characters already had the depth and intrigue of a paper clip the moment they appeared on the air, so now that they are three, four or however many unwatchable seasons into their run they are, this crew has worn out their welcome big time. Yet there was the show’s chief offender of being famous for no real reason, Lauren Conrad, appearing on The Late Show with Dave. Of course, Letterman went for the obvious topic, Conrad’s ongoing feud with surgically enhanced, nearly-engaged-to-a-total-knob, musically talentless Heidi Montag, Conrad’s response to the question was, “Yeah, it’s a little bit of everyone … Throughout the show we have always had problems with each other.” Apparently suffering from one of his regular delusions of being Ed Bradley on 60 Minutes or freaking Barbara Walters, Letterman countered, “That raises the question, maybe you’re the problem. You think?” Amazingly, being the future Mensa candidate she clearly is, Conrad didn’t have an answer. Dave also teed off on reality TV’s biggest tool, a man who brings nothing to the world while taking so much from it - Montag’s boyfriend, Spencer Pratt, telling Conrad, “Spencer, what a weasel. He’s just the worst, that guy.” Weasel? That’s the best you’ve got, Dave? You’re paid outrageous sums of money top make people laugh and that’s all you’ve got. Thanks for reminding me why I watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and The Colbert Report on Comedy Central instead of your lame show…..
- With the rash of NFL players getting popped for performance-enhancing drugs the past couple of weeks, it was only a matter of time before one of the guilty players decided to turn things around and finger someone else for their own mistake. That someone would be New Orleans Saints offensive guard Jamar Nesbit, who filed suit Tuesday against the maker of a weight-loss supplement that caused his positive test. Nesbit is alleging that the supplement was improperly spiked with a diuretic that is banned by the NFL. His lawsuit against the makers of StarCaps, an over-the-counter product, was filed in federal district court in New Jersey. It comes after Nesbit returned last week from a four-game suspension by the NFL after he tested positive for Bumetanide, a substance that helps rid the body of excess water and salt. Under its steroids policy, the NFL considers the substance a possible masking agent for steroids, even if it is allegedly used for weight-loss purposes. It’s the exact same substance that has led to positive tests and possible suspensions for eight Nfl players in the past couple weeks, including three other Saints: running back Deuce McAllister and defensive ends Will Smith and Charles Grant. Those three remain on the team’s active roster pending a consolidated appeal of their suspensions. According to Nesbit, he never appealed his suspension because he did not expect to win. Instead, he sat out his four games and went about trying to recoup his $235,294 in lost salary from StarCaps. Through his attorney, Nesbit explained that he is going after the makers of StarCaps because
“under NFL rules, you are strictly liable for what is in your body. They don't care how it got there, contaminated supplements or otherwise.” As such, there is no way to sue the league, because their policy is a Catch-22 preventing exactly that. Instead, players like Nesbit must sue the makers of the products themselves and look to recoup things like lost salary, money for damage to their reputation and for the alleged intentional, undisclosed spiking of the product with products like Bumetanide. Depending on who you believe here some of Nesbit's leftover pills were tested and found to be contaminated with Bumetanide, which is not listed as an ingredient on the product bottle and packaging. I would be more inclined to side with Nesbit here, but the fact is that pro sports leagues have pre-approved lists of substances that are safe and acceptable, and if you take one of those products and something like this happens, then you have a case. When you go off the board and take something you buy at the local pharmacy, you take this chance and sometimes it comes back to bite you…..
- Hell Week was upon us in last night’s season finale of Greek. Capping a great third season, the focus was on the roughest week of all for the pledges at the three Greek organizations on the show. For the Kappa Tau’s, it was humiliation at the start and a fight at the finish. Their week kicked off with being forced to dressed up in two-piece bathing suits and make ridiculous poses as the brothers snapped embarrassing pictures. They were also ordered to leave the house only to go to class and to come straight back without stopping to eat or do anything else. Rusty managed to sneak in a pit stop to talk with Omega Chi pledge and good friend Calvin Owens, but when the first big test of Hell Week came up later in the day, Rusty was nervous because he had received a warning from KT president Cappie that every year, a few pledges are weeded out during Hell Week. So when the pledges are called out to the back yard of the KT house and one by one, handed plastic cups with goldfish in them, Rusty jumps the gun and believes the pledges are supposed to drink the cup of water, goldfish and all. However, the horrified looks of the brothers indicate otherwise and Cappie informs him that the “bib” he has on is really a goldfish papoose that was to be used to carry around and care for the fish. That was strike one against Rusty, with strike two coming before some sort of weird tribunal/judgment ceremony in which the brothers basically ripped him a new one for everything he’d done during his pledge period, all just for amusement. The brothers sent Rusty out with a warning that he needed to do something great to prove that he belonged at KT. Inspired and terrified, Rusty first sought out the advice of his sister Casey, a Greek system veteran herself. Using her advice, Rusty hatches a plan to break into the Omega Chi house, the biggest rivals for the KT’s, and steal the same pledge paddle he hit Omega Chi president and noted tool Evan Chambers with in Season 1. Sneaking in and getting the paddle prove doable, but escaping isn’t. Rusty is spotted and chased by the entire Omega Chi membership. His KT brothers, just about to begin their initiation ceremony, hear the commotion out in the street and rush outside to help Rusty, resulting in an all-out brawl in which Evan manages to get ahold of the stolen pledge paddle and smash Rusty in the face with it. Cappie comes to the rescure, cold-cocking Evan to even the score. The brawl also caps a wild week in the Omega Chi house, which had been thrown into controversy because Evan was going easier on his little bro in the fraternity, Calvin, than he was on the other pledges. When the other pledges take note as they prune rose bushes with their bare hands and have smelly, poop-like concoctions poured on them as Calvin merely has to clean the house’s honor room and hold a fan to cool the other pledges while they prune, he is forced to make a choice: go against his big bro or risk alienating his fellow pledges. Calvin elects to talk to Evan and ask to have the preferential treatment stopped after the pledges are forced to spend the night sleeping in the back yard while he is allowed to sleep inside. Confronting Evan also leads him to challenge Evan about having a showy, pretentious attitude ever since being given access to his cushy trust fund. Evan accepts the criticism and in response, during initiation he forces Calvin to hold the pledge manual straight out in front of him, arms straight out at shoulder level, for three hours. Calvin gladly accepts the challenge and passes with flying colors. Of course, the ceremony is nothing like the one at Kappa Tau, which is a lot less stuffy but ends with the same result, the induction of the new brothers. Rusty goes through the ceremony with a busted-up face because of the fight, but he’s happy to be a brother. Also, Cappie reveals that the story about pledges washing out each year is a lie and that the only pledge ever to not make it through was Evan, who was a KT pledge but left voluntarily. Doing things voluntarily wasn’t on the agenda for Rusty’s sister Casey, who was forced with a tough choice when her boyfriend of a month and a half, Max, revealed that he had been accepted to grad school at Cal Tech, 2,200 miles away. As the two debate having a long-distance relationship, Casey turns to BFF Ashleigh for advice, then heads to Dobler’s to play pool and clear her head. There, she runs into Cappie, flashing back to their memorable meeting at Dobler’s for pool in Season 1, after which they ended up hooking up. This time, all Cappie imparts is advice, that advice being to accept an internship offer with Paula, the Zeta Beta alumnus Casey met at the ZBZ convention and who is a U.S. congresswoman for the state of Maryland. Casey mulls her choices and ends up telling Max that rather than spend the summer together and then possibly do the long-distance thing, she is taking the internship and leaving in two weeks. That leads Max to make a call to the professor he is going to Cal Tech to work with, a call whose fallout we will have to wait until next season to see. But Max wasn’t Casey’s only problem; because she was distracted, she also neglected her duties as big sister to Rebecca Logan at ZBZ, not getting Rebecca a gift for the big/little gift exchange and blwoing her off repeatedly when Rebecca tried to talk to her. While Casey was shirking her sisterly duties, arch-nemesis Frannie was busy planning a coup to get revenge for losing the recent ZBZ presidential election. As the ZBZ’s are holding their own induction ceremony, with the sisters in black in the pledges wearing white, Frannie storms in wearing a red dress, turns in her sorority pin and deactivates from the sorority before announcing that she is leaving to start her own sorority. Nearly half of the sisters and pledges follow her out, with Rebecca left hanging in the middle, her decision to be made, as the season ends. So that wraps a fantastic Season 3, one I would say is the best of the series so far. Thankfully, Greek will be returning in 2009 for a fourth season, so there is something great to look forward to for next year in television……
- Best of success pinning your town’s economic hopes on a 9-year-old calico cat, people of Kishikawa, Japan. Kishikawa is an isolated town of just a few thousand people, the last stop on what had been a failing train line that is, until they were “rescued” by Tama the cat. Tama used to live a simple life hanging out at the train station next to her home at the grocery store. So how did she become a national star? By adding a freaking hat. Yes, someone dropped a hat on the cat, tilted it to the side and inspired a sensation. The Wakayama Electric Railway decided to use Tama as a mascot, even giving the cat a ridiculous nickname, calling her a “Super Stationmaster,” making a promotional poster for train carriages and dressing her in that stationmaster's hat. And has this shameless ploy worked? Sadly, yes. Tourists now visit Kishikawa to see the cat and to snap a picture. “It's a chance to take a break from the problems facing Japan,” said Haruto Maeda, who took the day off work to see Tama. Yes, Haruto, it is a break - to take a picture with a freaking cat in a tiny hat! Wooo! I bet that made your day so, so much better. It would be that much greater of Tama could come up with a new economic policy, smooth over international relations and figure out a way to solve the population and overcrowding issues facing cities like Tokyo. How much is one stupid, annoying cat worth to this small town anyhow? According to study at Osaka University, Tama IS responsible for pumping $10 million into the local economy. The money flows in from Tama merchandise abounds and formerly empty train carriages that are now full. The train line was on the verge of bankruptcy, but no longer. The town of Kishikawa is enjoying an economic turnaround. As for the star of the show, Tama now lives full-time at the station, with her owner and a friend. Great, but what happens when another town slams a talking parrot into their station and gives it a vest? Enjoy your time in the sun, Kishikawa, just know it says nothing good about you or your town……
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Unsanitary food, a Heroes recap and World Series scheduling turmoil
- Here’s hoping you had this moment in your history videotaped, photographed, notarized and witnessed by no less than four dozen individuals who then signed court-approved, certified statements as to what they saw, University of Michigan football program. It sounds extreme, but them are the breaks when you sign a noted liar, deceiver and all-around douche bag to be your new head football coach. The D-bag in question would be none other than Rich-er Fraud-riguez, who nearly left West Virginia University in 2006 to become the head coach at Alabama, reversed field when the move was universally ripped, signed a new deal with WVU while proclaiming his love for the school, then bolted a year later and tried to get out of paying the $4 million buyout in his deal to become Michigan's head coach. Yes, Fraud-riguez has been the coach at UM for eight games now, posting a stellar 2-6 record, but it wasn’t until this past week that he actually signed his new deal, worth at least $2.5 million a year even if he’s not. Nothing like waiting nine months to sign a contract after terms have already been agreed upon, R. Given your performance so far and the fact that your lackluster season forced your new athletic director to publicly give you a vote of confidence to calm the unrest, you should have put your John Hancock on that deal the instant your plane landed in Ann Arbor. A couple of provisions in the deal are laughable at this point, with Fraud-riguez standing to receive
an extra $300,000 for each national championship that he wins or $200,000 for his team getting to the Bowl Championship Series title game. Yeah, teams that fire out of the gate 2-6 and have members of the squad jumping ship less than a month after the new coach takes over to transfer to the program’s most bitter rival don’t tend to get BCS invites as a general rule……
- What the heck is wrong with you, New York City cops? Not that long ago, there were videos circulating on YouTube of you assaulting innocent civilians, even knocking one harmless protestor off his bike near Times Square in a blatant display of abuse of power. However, those incidents seem tame when you contemplate the charges being levied against five NYPD officers by a Brooklyn man accusing them of sodomizing him with a radio antenna. Michael Mineo alleges that he was jumped by five officers inside a Brooklyn subway station and sodomized with the antenna of a police radio, a claim that investigators with the NYPD's Internal Affairs Bureau are now investigating. They are conducting DNA tests on equipment taken from the lockers of five police officers, with NYPD chief spokesman Paul J. Browne taking up for his guys by saying that several people who were near Mineo when he was arrested “do not support Mineo's story that he had been sodomized.” Instead, police are contending that Mineo was smoking weed when two officers approached him. Mineo allegedly tried to escape into the subway, but when he got downstairs and saw no train approaching, he jumped back over a turnstile, where he was grabbed and surrounded by other officers.
Here is where the alleged sodomy comes in: Mineo, who was wearing baggy pants and had to be wrestled to the ground before screaming he was being Tasered and sodomized. Just a question, but are you sure it was pot he was smoking? Pot doesn’t make people hallucinate and agitated; it mellows them out. You don’t see stoners twitching and seeing things; those tend to be losers peaking on PCP and LSD. This is one story I hope isn’t true, because it’s just a really bad mental image and would give me yet another reason to not be a fan of law enforcement…..
- Things were not going well for intrepid hero Peter Petrelli on last night’s episode of Heroes. Having been robbed of his powers by his back-from-the-dead father Arthur upon storming the offices of Pinehearst Industries last week, Peter is now being held prisoner by his dad, locked in a room and told that he is going to help his father’s quest to save the world and defeat the efforts of Peter’s mom Angela and her company, Primatech, whether he likes it or not. Without his powers, Peter can't fight back, but fortunately for him, his mom has his back. Even though she’s in a coma, Angela can still use her powers to send a mental message to one of her other sons, Sylar, who is being held at the Company’s Level 5 facility. Angela tells Sylar to go rescue Peter, which he does. Sylar raids Pinehearst, saving Peter just as he is about the be the target of a dangerous experiment. The man experimenting on him is Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who has joined up with Pinehearst after an encounter with Peter’s other brother, Nathan, and Nathan’s new friend Tracy Strauss. Last week, Mohinder poisoned Nathan and Tracy when they came to him for help removing their abilities because Mohinder believed they could help his sick, misguided and dangerous quest to find his own cure to remove the abilities of his new love Maya, whom he had imprisoned along with several other victims in weird cocoons on his apartment wall as part of his weird evolution into some sort of bug-man. When Nathan and Tracy get free from their restraints and refuse to help Mohinder in his quest, he frees Maya from her cocoon, takes off and flies away, straight to Pinehearst. There, he asks Arthur to take Maya’s powers (killing people after making their eyes turn black and using some sort of weird telepathy), just like she wants. Arthur agrees to do so and takes Maya’s power just as he took Peter’s. Maya is thrilled to be free, but instead of embracing Mohinder, she rejects him because of the monster he has become. She leaves and says she is off to make amends for all the evil she has done, suggesting that Mohinder do the same. Instead, he decides that rather than have Arthur take his powers that he self-administered with his hack-job formula, he will stay at Pinehearst and work on their formula that accomplishes the same thing he was trying to do on his own. That’s where Peter comes in, as Arthur volunteers him to be the test subject for the newest version of the formula. Sylar arrives just in time, storming the operating room and freeing Peter. But as they try to escape, Mohinder attacks and captures Sylar. With Sylar in custody, Peter has to escape on his own. That becomes harder once Arthur talks to Sylar and tells him the truth about his mother Angela, that when he was born, she saw the future, saw what he would become and tried to kill him just after his birth. Armed with that knowledge, Sylar appears to change sides. He encounters Peter and instead of trying to escape with his brother, Sylar throws Peter out the window. Without his powers, the multiple-story fall should have killed Peter, but he survives, a fact that is curious to Peter and to Arthur, who wonders how he was able to survive the fall. Waiting for Peter at the end of his long fall is Claire Bennet, who has come to Pinehearst with former nemesis Elle. After Elle was fired from the Company early this season, she has been a lost soul and has now also lost control of her power to shoot electrical currents from her body. Seeking the help of Claire’s father H.R.G., Elle arrives at the Bennet home in Costa Verde, California only to be confronted by Claire, or as Elle calls her, “Cheerleader.” After an initial skirmish, both realize that they have been contacted by Pinehearst and might be able to find answers there. Following a tense flight in which Elle’s electrical powers nearly crash the plane, they arrive and head to Pinehearst, where they pull up just in time to see Peter falling. He lands and while Claire rushes over and immediately notices he isn’t healing and using his powers, Elle has other things on her mind. When she hears Peter say Pinehearst took his abilities, she runs inside for help because that’s what she wants too. Claire and Peter escape, but now that he has no power, things are much different. Also, Peter is left to ponder why the fall didn’t kill him and theorizes that Sylar threw him out the window the save him and help him escape, using his telepathic powers to slow Peter’s fall so he didn’t actually die. Death was exactly what Arthur had in mind for Matt Parkman, or so it seemed, after Parkman refused an offer to join Pinehearst. Arthur orders Daphne Millbrook to go and kill Parkman and when Mat’s father and Arthur’s aide Maury objects, Arthur kills Maury and hands Daphne a gun. She is unable to carry out her orders after Matt continues to insist that they are meant to fall in love and will be married in the future, so Arthur sends along Knox, the villain whose power is gaining strength from others’ fear, to finish the job. But using his power to control people’s mind and make them see and believe anything he wants, Matt makes Knox see a scene in which he kills both Matt and Daphne, leading Knox to leave, believing his mission has been accomplished. That leaves Matt and Daphne alone, apparently together. However, a phone call from Arthur to Daphne seems to indicate that the whole thing was a ruse, a ploy to plant her close to Matt and make him believe that she is on his side. The last bit of news this episode was way over in Africa, where Hiro Nakamura and pal Ando are still hanging with “Mr. African Isaac,” future painter/pre-cognitive Usutu. With Hiro refusing to time travel any more to battle the evil forces and impending doom encroaching on the world, Usutu inveigles him to try a different path, eating the same nasty paste made from plant roots that Usutu himself and also Matt Parkman have used to put them into a trance where they can see the future. At episode’s end, Hiro is in the same glassy-eyed trance, having visions of the world to come. And that’s where things end for now, so until next ime…..
- Well this isn’t awkward at all. Once again, Major League Baseball finds itself with a bizarre scheduling situation/ending of a big game thanks to commissioner Bud Selig. The first such occurrence was in 2002, when the All-Star Game ended in a tie for the first (and hopefully last time) ever because good ol’ Bud said it was so after 15 innings. This time, it’s the freaking World Series, with Game 5 of the Fall Classic abandoned in the middle of the sixth inning with the score tied 2-2. The game between the Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays could decide the World Series, as the Phillies lead the best-of-seven 3-1, but the specter of bad weather hung over the game from the start. Rain was forecast, but after talking with the umpires, teams, ground crew and even weathermen, Selig elected to try and play the game. The rains came early on and didn’t let up, leaving the field an increasingly muddy, soggy mess that made for both a sloppy game and a dangerous environement for the players to play in. Normally, baseball games become official after five innings, so with the Phillies leading 2-1 after the fifth, it looked like they might steal a win. However, the decision had been made by Selig and his MLB cronies that the World Series would not end on a shortened game, so when the Rays pushed across the tying run in the top of the sixth inning and the weather became too much to bear in the bottom half of the frame, action was suspended. The intent was to play the game tonight, but we were told earlier that that wouldn’t happen. Furthermore, with shi**y weather on tap for Wednesday, there is no telling when this thing might actually get back on track. Worse still, when it does, it could be for a mere 45 minutes or so if the Phillies win and only three innings need to be played. The game is tentatively set to resume at 8:37 p.m. Wednesday night, but I highly doubt that happens. The suspended game left the Rays in a lodging bind because win or lose Game 5, it was to be the last game of the series in Philadelphia and so they had checked out of their hotel, knowing that regardless of the outcome, they would be on a plane back to Tampa afterward - or so they thought. Now forced to stay in town, they couldn’t get back into their previous hotel and were forced to find a hotel in Wilmington, Del., about 25 miles away. In other words, this has turned into another train wreck under Selig’s watch, and the sad thing is that it’s not the least bit surprising…..
- Who among us hasn’t thought about putting a little something unsanitary and disgusting into the food of our local police chief? Unless you are a totally law-abiding, goodie-two-shoes type, odds are you are not a huge fan of John Q, Law. However, there is a fine line between cursing the stupid local cops among friends, making fun of their portly physiques and referring to them by various derogatory names and actually trying to make them ill. Meet Jaime Perez, the man who trampled all over that subtle, yet important line in the sand when he allegedly wiped himself with a hamburger bun he was serving Police Chief Paul Nelson at Andy's Landing, a Burnet, Texas eatery. Perez also said he put the veggies in his mouth before placing them on the burger, then capped off his disgusting display by spitting and blowing his nose on the burger. Perez, cook at the restaurant, was arrested Monday after Nelson who filed a complaint with the Burnet County's Sheriff's Office. Perez had to brag about his dirty deed, with word getting back to Nelson, who also recalled seeing Perez along with another cook standing behind the counter watching him eat his food that day. Very discreet, fellas, very discreet. I have to say, I don’t feel too good about eating at Andy’s Landing, not after this and no after hearing Perez’ boss defend his act. “Jaime is our best cook,” said Andy's Landing General Manager Tiffany Tappe. “It's the last thing we ever expected.” He’s your best cook? How the hell do you people stay open if that’s the case? It really can't be good for business, especially not when Burnet County investigators walk right into your kitchen and arrested Perez, as they did yesterday. Today, they were back to arrest cook James Ledesma at the restaurant. Both men have been charged with tampering with consumer product, a second degree felony. Ironically, Nelson believes this isn’t the first time his food was contaminated by Perez. A Burnet police officer's dash cam video picked up the voice of a disorderly Perez Oct. 11, on which Perez can ranting about the chief and stated that he spat on the buns and rubbed the buns “on his buns.” Nice establishment you’ve got there, Andy’s Landing. I’ve heard of cooks spitting in food before when customers are being a pain in the ass, but never wiping the food on their own backsides……
an extra $300,000 for each national championship that he wins or $200,000 for his team getting to the Bowl Championship Series title game. Yeah, teams that fire out of the gate 2-6 and have members of the squad jumping ship less than a month after the new coach takes over to transfer to the program’s most bitter rival don’t tend to get BCS invites as a general rule……
- What the heck is wrong with you, New York City cops? Not that long ago, there were videos circulating on YouTube of you assaulting innocent civilians, even knocking one harmless protestor off his bike near Times Square in a blatant display of abuse of power. However, those incidents seem tame when you contemplate the charges being levied against five NYPD officers by a Brooklyn man accusing them of sodomizing him with a radio antenna. Michael Mineo alleges that he was jumped by five officers inside a Brooklyn subway station and sodomized with the antenna of a police radio, a claim that investigators with the NYPD's Internal Affairs Bureau are now investigating. They are conducting DNA tests on equipment taken from the lockers of five police officers, with NYPD chief spokesman Paul J. Browne taking up for his guys by saying that several people who were near Mineo when he was arrested “do not support Mineo's story that he had been sodomized.” Instead, police are contending that Mineo was smoking weed when two officers approached him. Mineo allegedly tried to escape into the subway, but when he got downstairs and saw no train approaching, he jumped back over a turnstile, where he was grabbed and surrounded by other officers.
Here is where the alleged sodomy comes in: Mineo, who was wearing baggy pants and had to be wrestled to the ground before screaming he was being Tasered and sodomized. Just a question, but are you sure it was pot he was smoking? Pot doesn’t make people hallucinate and agitated; it mellows them out. You don’t see stoners twitching and seeing things; those tend to be losers peaking on PCP and LSD. This is one story I hope isn’t true, because it’s just a really bad mental image and would give me yet another reason to not be a fan of law enforcement…..
- Things were not going well for intrepid hero Peter Petrelli on last night’s episode of Heroes. Having been robbed of his powers by his back-from-the-dead father Arthur upon storming the offices of Pinehearst Industries last week, Peter is now being held prisoner by his dad, locked in a room and told that he is going to help his father’s quest to save the world and defeat the efforts of Peter’s mom Angela and her company, Primatech, whether he likes it or not. Without his powers, Peter can't fight back, but fortunately for him, his mom has his back. Even though she’s in a coma, Angela can still use her powers to send a mental message to one of her other sons, Sylar, who is being held at the Company’s Level 5 facility. Angela tells Sylar to go rescue Peter, which he does. Sylar raids Pinehearst, saving Peter just as he is about the be the target of a dangerous experiment. The man experimenting on him is Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who has joined up with Pinehearst after an encounter with Peter’s other brother, Nathan, and Nathan’s new friend Tracy Strauss. Last week, Mohinder poisoned Nathan and Tracy when they came to him for help removing their abilities because Mohinder believed they could help his sick, misguided and dangerous quest to find his own cure to remove the abilities of his new love Maya, whom he had imprisoned along with several other victims in weird cocoons on his apartment wall as part of his weird evolution into some sort of bug-man. When Nathan and Tracy get free from their restraints and refuse to help Mohinder in his quest, he frees Maya from her cocoon, takes off and flies away, straight to Pinehearst. There, he asks Arthur to take Maya’s powers (killing people after making their eyes turn black and using some sort of weird telepathy), just like she wants. Arthur agrees to do so and takes Maya’s power just as he took Peter’s. Maya is thrilled to be free, but instead of embracing Mohinder, she rejects him because of the monster he has become. She leaves and says she is off to make amends for all the evil she has done, suggesting that Mohinder do the same. Instead, he decides that rather than have Arthur take his powers that he self-administered with his hack-job formula, he will stay at Pinehearst and work on their formula that accomplishes the same thing he was trying to do on his own. That’s where Peter comes in, as Arthur volunteers him to be the test subject for the newest version of the formula. Sylar arrives just in time, storming the operating room and freeing Peter. But as they try to escape, Mohinder attacks and captures Sylar. With Sylar in custody, Peter has to escape on his own. That becomes harder once Arthur talks to Sylar and tells him the truth about his mother Angela, that when he was born, she saw the future, saw what he would become and tried to kill him just after his birth. Armed with that knowledge, Sylar appears to change sides. He encounters Peter and instead of trying to escape with his brother, Sylar throws Peter out the window. Without his powers, the multiple-story fall should have killed Peter, but he survives, a fact that is curious to Peter and to Arthur, who wonders how he was able to survive the fall. Waiting for Peter at the end of his long fall is Claire Bennet, who has come to Pinehearst with former nemesis Elle. After Elle was fired from the Company early this season, she has been a lost soul and has now also lost control of her power to shoot electrical currents from her body. Seeking the help of Claire’s father H.R.G., Elle arrives at the Bennet home in Costa Verde, California only to be confronted by Claire, or as Elle calls her, “Cheerleader.” After an initial skirmish, both realize that they have been contacted by Pinehearst and might be able to find answers there. Following a tense flight in which Elle’s electrical powers nearly crash the plane, they arrive and head to Pinehearst, where they pull up just in time to see Peter falling. He lands and while Claire rushes over and immediately notices he isn’t healing and using his powers, Elle has other things on her mind. When she hears Peter say Pinehearst took his abilities, she runs inside for help because that’s what she wants too. Claire and Peter escape, but now that he has no power, things are much different. Also, Peter is left to ponder why the fall didn’t kill him and theorizes that Sylar threw him out the window the save him and help him escape, using his telepathic powers to slow Peter’s fall so he didn’t actually die. Death was exactly what Arthur had in mind for Matt Parkman, or so it seemed, after Parkman refused an offer to join Pinehearst. Arthur orders Daphne Millbrook to go and kill Parkman and when Mat’s father and Arthur’s aide Maury objects, Arthur kills Maury and hands Daphne a gun. She is unable to carry out her orders after Matt continues to insist that they are meant to fall in love and will be married in the future, so Arthur sends along Knox, the villain whose power is gaining strength from others’ fear, to finish the job. But using his power to control people’s mind and make them see and believe anything he wants, Matt makes Knox see a scene in which he kills both Matt and Daphne, leading Knox to leave, believing his mission has been accomplished. That leaves Matt and Daphne alone, apparently together. However, a phone call from Arthur to Daphne seems to indicate that the whole thing was a ruse, a ploy to plant her close to Matt and make him believe that she is on his side. The last bit of news this episode was way over in Africa, where Hiro Nakamura and pal Ando are still hanging with “Mr. African Isaac,” future painter/pre-cognitive Usutu. With Hiro refusing to time travel any more to battle the evil forces and impending doom encroaching on the world, Usutu inveigles him to try a different path, eating the same nasty paste made from plant roots that Usutu himself and also Matt Parkman have used to put them into a trance where they can see the future. At episode’s end, Hiro is in the same glassy-eyed trance, having visions of the world to come. And that’s where things end for now, so until next ime…..
- Well this isn’t awkward at all. Once again, Major League Baseball finds itself with a bizarre scheduling situation/ending of a big game thanks to commissioner Bud Selig. The first such occurrence was in 2002, when the All-Star Game ended in a tie for the first (and hopefully last time) ever because good ol’ Bud said it was so after 15 innings. This time, it’s the freaking World Series, with Game 5 of the Fall Classic abandoned in the middle of the sixth inning with the score tied 2-2. The game between the Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays could decide the World Series, as the Phillies lead the best-of-seven 3-1, but the specter of bad weather hung over the game from the start. Rain was forecast, but after talking with the umpires, teams, ground crew and even weathermen, Selig elected to try and play the game. The rains came early on and didn’t let up, leaving the field an increasingly muddy, soggy mess that made for both a sloppy game and a dangerous environement for the players to play in. Normally, baseball games become official after five innings, so with the Phillies leading 2-1 after the fifth, it looked like they might steal a win. However, the decision had been made by Selig and his MLB cronies that the World Series would not end on a shortened game, so when the Rays pushed across the tying run in the top of the sixth inning and the weather became too much to bear in the bottom half of the frame, action was suspended. The intent was to play the game tonight, but we were told earlier that that wouldn’t happen. Furthermore, with shi**y weather on tap for Wednesday, there is no telling when this thing might actually get back on track. Worse still, when it does, it could be for a mere 45 minutes or so if the Phillies win and only three innings need to be played. The game is tentatively set to resume at 8:37 p.m. Wednesday night, but I highly doubt that happens. The suspended game left the Rays in a lodging bind because win or lose Game 5, it was to be the last game of the series in Philadelphia and so they had checked out of their hotel, knowing that regardless of the outcome, they would be on a plane back to Tampa afterward - or so they thought. Now forced to stay in town, they couldn’t get back into their previous hotel and were forced to find a hotel in Wilmington, Del., about 25 miles away. In other words, this has turned into another train wreck under Selig’s watch, and the sad thing is that it’s not the least bit surprising…..
- Who among us hasn’t thought about putting a little something unsanitary and disgusting into the food of our local police chief? Unless you are a totally law-abiding, goodie-two-shoes type, odds are you are not a huge fan of John Q, Law. However, there is a fine line between cursing the stupid local cops among friends, making fun of their portly physiques and referring to them by various derogatory names and actually trying to make them ill. Meet Jaime Perez, the man who trampled all over that subtle, yet important line in the sand when he allegedly wiped himself with a hamburger bun he was serving Police Chief Paul Nelson at Andy's Landing, a Burnet, Texas eatery. Perez also said he put the veggies in his mouth before placing them on the burger, then capped off his disgusting display by spitting and blowing his nose on the burger. Perez, cook at the restaurant, was arrested Monday after Nelson who filed a complaint with the Burnet County's Sheriff's Office. Perez had to brag about his dirty deed, with word getting back to Nelson, who also recalled seeing Perez along with another cook standing behind the counter watching him eat his food that day. Very discreet, fellas, very discreet. I have to say, I don’t feel too good about eating at Andy’s Landing, not after this and no after hearing Perez’ boss defend his act. “Jaime is our best cook,” said Andy's Landing General Manager Tiffany Tappe. “It's the last thing we ever expected.” He’s your best cook? How the hell do you people stay open if that’s the case? It really can't be good for business, especially not when Burnet County investigators walk right into your kitchen and arrested Perez, as they did yesterday. Today, they were back to arrest cook James Ledesma at the restaurant. Both men have been charged with tampering with consumer product, a second degree felony. Ironically, Nelson believes this isn’t the first time his food was contaminated by Perez. A Burnet police officer's dash cam video picked up the voice of a disorderly Perez Oct. 11, on which Perez can ranting about the chief and stated that he spat on the buns and rubbed the buns “on his buns.” Nice establishment you’ve got there, Andy’s Landing. I’ve heard of cooks spitting in food before when customers are being a pain in the ass, but never wiping the food on their own backsides……
Monday, October 27, 2008
Pimpin' gets harder, Navy sets football back 100 years or more and a kids' movie leads the box office
- Jeez…..I know some people aren’t fit to be parents and typically I applaud those who realize this and give up their child to be raised by someone more capable, but this one pushes the limits of that thinking. This unidentified mother really wanted to be rid of her son, so she drove all the way from the Atlanta, Georgia area to Omaha to drop off her….wait for it….wait for it….12-year-old son and take advantage of Nebraska's safe haven law. Yes, it took this woman 12 years to figure out that she couldn’t or didn’t want to be a parent. Nice move, lady. I’m sure your son won't have any emotional scars or trauma from being so unwanted as to be driven halfway across the country and dumped like an unwanted puppy on the side of the road. And why did this mother make the decision to abandon her son like that? According to Capt. Jim Davidsaver of the Lincoln Police Department, the boy's mother told police she was unable to discipline her son and dropped him off at Bryan LGH East Hospital. Yes, she felt her son was too unruly and instead of, I don’t know, making the effort to actually parent him and administer some parental discipline, she decided to drive hundreds of miles to take advantage of Nebraska's safe haven law,which took effect in July and allows parents or guardians to drop off children up to 18-years-old at the state's hospitals without fear of prosecution. The boy has been placed in residential shelter care for the time being and he is the 20th child to be dropped off under the Safe Haven law since the law went in effect. Not sure this is what Nebraska state officials had in mind when they enacted this law. If it were, Governor Dave Heineman wouldn’t be saying that if more out-of-state children are dropped off, it may prompt him to call a special session of the legislature to fix the law. Nor would forty of the 49 state senators have agreed to change the age limit on children who can be left at hospitals to 3-days-old. So in trying to decide if this mother is a good parent for letting go of a child she can’t adequately care for or a total douche bag, I’m going with the latter…..
- It was a day for the chalk this past college football Saturday, with the top-ranked teams around the country coming through when it counted and depriving us of the upsets that always add the bulk of the intrigue to fall Saturdays. For starters, No. 1 Texas did its job in setting up an in-state clash of the titans next Saturday, downing No. 7 Oklahoma State in an exciting duel, 28-24 thanks to a late-game defensive stand. It wasn’t the offensive shootout that we’d hoped for, but Oklahoma St. did prove that they are legitimate and a player on the national scene despite the loss. Meanwhile, the nation’s No. 2 team, Alabama, trounced hapless Tennessee by a 29-9 count, winning easily and adding gallons of lighter fluid to the “Fire Phil Fullmer” bonfire at UT. Third-ranked Penn State won a battle of boring, defeating Ohio State in Columbus in a 13-6 barn-burner that may have set college football back 20 years. Other than this snooze fest, most of the other top team played high-scoring, fast-paced affairs, with Oklahoma (58-35 over Kansas St.), Florida (63-5 over lowly Kentucky) and Texas Tech (63-21 over No. 23 Kansas) lighting up the scoreboard at a record pace. The one interesting non-Top 25 game of the weekend featured Navy, which defeated Southern Methodist 34-7 without throwing a single forward pass. Yes, 49 runs, zero passes, thanks for a real lesson in 19th century football, Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo. I know you were down to your third-string quarterback and all and that you run the overwhelming majority of the time even when you do have your starting QB on the field, but NO forward passes? Feel free to mix in a pass or two next game, either that or suit your guys up in leather helmets with no face masks and keep score on a hand-operated scoreboard. The other development from the weekend that has me excited is that non-BCS unbeatens and threats to crash the BCS party such as Ball State, Tulsa and Boise State kept on winning, inching closer to the top 12 of the idiotic BCS rankings and a guaranteed slot in the BCS system. On the whole, not the best Saturday of the college football season, but there were a few bright spots and enough oddities to make it a good one……
- So is Ted Stevens more qualified or less qualified to be a United States senator now that he has been found guilty Monday of all seven counts in his federal corruption trial? On the surface, it might seem that being a felon seven times over would be a negative in terms of someone having a job with serious responsibilities, but let’s remember that we are talking about the U.S. Congress here, people. So when Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska is convicted by a jury of “knowingly and willfully” scheming to conceal on Senate disclosure forms more than $250,000 in home renovations and other gifts from an Alaska-based oil industry contractor, I tend to think it makes him more capable of being a true senator. What is the U.S. Senate if not a haven for liars, cheaters, manipulators and criminals who try to squeeze every possible dollar and perk out of their position for every day they are in office? Thus, I like to think of it as a minor detail that Stevens faces a maximum sentence of up to 35 years in prison -- five years for each of the seven counts - because I like to think positive, not focus on the worst-case scenario. After all, the judge has the discretion to give Stevens as little as no jail time and probation when he is sentenced, so there’s no reason he can’t keep right on passing pork barrel legislation, sexually harassing staffers and enjoying bribes from all sorts of lobbyists. Besides, even though he’s been convicted and mountains of evidence exist against him, my man Ted Stevens isn’t giving up, saying after the verdict, “It's not over yet.” Now I don’t know if that’s just because dude is old and senile, but he and his legal team are in fact pushing for a new trial. So don’t let this little matter of a criminal conviction and possible prison time sway your vote, Alaskans, as you decide between Stevens and his Democratic challenger, Mark Begich, in next week’s election. Don’t turn your back on a man who has served you in a marginally ethical manner since1968. Never has Ted Stevens been more qualified to be a United States senator, so don’t let him down now……
- Not a tremendous surprise here, that Disney's “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” clawed its way to the top of the weekend box office class with $42 million, easily outdistancing the horror sequel “Saw V”. A G-rated film that teens and pre-teens love is bound to out-earn an R-rated, lame sequel to a horror movie franchise that ran out of actual intrigue three installments ago. As the creators of the “Saw” franchise continue to whore out their concept and show a total lack of creative and cinematic credibility by trotting out the same tired crap five times in a row, it was actually funny to see them get their ass kicked by a bunch of singing, dancing teenagers. “Saw V” brought in $30.5 million and finished in second place, which is fitting because it’s a second-rate movie at best. The overall picture for movies this weekend was good, as the top 12 films took in $120.5 million, up 41 percent from the same weekend last year, when "Saw IV", equally moronic to its most recent sequel, led the weekend with a $31.8 million debut. Adding to the positive news for HSM 3 is the fact that the film also pulled in $40 million in 19 other countries where it has opened, among them Great Britain, Germany and Spain. Here is how the top 10 shook down from the top to the bottom: 1) "High School Musical 3," $42 million, 2) "Saw V," $30.5 million, 3) "Max Payne," $7.6 million, 4) "Beverly Hills Chihuahua," $6.9 million, 5) "Pride and Glory," $6.3 million, 6) "The Secret Life of Bees," $5.9 million, 7) "W.," $5.3 million (yes, Oliver Stone, you are still a drug-addicted kook), 8) "Eagle Eye," $5.1 million, 9) "Body of Lies," $4.1 million, 10) "Quarantine," $2.6 million. A pretty diverse group of films overall, but the one common them for at least half of them? They absolutely suck……
- Welcome to Lynwood, California, or as I like to call it, the home of Hooker Cam. Seems city officials in Lynwood have gotten a little tired of women plying the world’s oldest profession on their streets, so they have enlisted the help of a new tool in the fight against prostitution - surveillance cameras. Officials have installed four Advanced Surveillance and Protection, or ASAP, cameras on major roadways throughout the city in hopes of shutting down pimps, ho’s and johns. “We have had problems for a long time, and the businesses and residents that reside in that area said, `you know, we need to do something about it,"” Lynwood Mayor Maria Santillan said. The cameras are up and running 24 hours a day and are monitored around the clock, so it’s just become a lot harder to score a decent hooker in the area. “Don't come to Lynwood if you're looking for a prostitute, they're aren't going to be any around,” Sheriff Lee Baca said Saturday. Yeah, either that or they are going to find ways around this new system, move to new locations and away from the eyes of your cameras, Sheriff, one or the other. You may feel confident because your new cameras cam zoom in on individuals soliciting prostitutes and take a picture of them or videotape the incident, but it won't be long before the affected parties learn where the cameras are and make adjustments, it’s just human nature. When one choice is taken away, people will always seek out another means to get their freak on, period. So while you may hope to install nine more cameras by early December, by no means are you ever going to stamp out this skanky profession for good. But hey, at least you can feel good about placating the citizens who just five months ago marched down Long Beach Blvd. -- a notorious area for prostitution -- amongst used condoms on the street, demanding the city take action. The result was the new cameras, which cost about $20,000 each, for a total of about $250,000. Best of success with this new approach, Lynwood, may your streets be hooker-free…..although I wouldn’t count on it…..
- It was a day for the chalk this past college football Saturday, with the top-ranked teams around the country coming through when it counted and depriving us of the upsets that always add the bulk of the intrigue to fall Saturdays. For starters, No. 1 Texas did its job in setting up an in-state clash of the titans next Saturday, downing No. 7 Oklahoma State in an exciting duel, 28-24 thanks to a late-game defensive stand. It wasn’t the offensive shootout that we’d hoped for, but Oklahoma St. did prove that they are legitimate and a player on the national scene despite the loss. Meanwhile, the nation’s No. 2 team, Alabama, trounced hapless Tennessee by a 29-9 count, winning easily and adding gallons of lighter fluid to the “Fire Phil Fullmer” bonfire at UT. Third-ranked Penn State won a battle of boring, defeating Ohio State in Columbus in a 13-6 barn-burner that may have set college football back 20 years. Other than this snooze fest, most of the other top team played high-scoring, fast-paced affairs, with Oklahoma (58-35 over Kansas St.), Florida (63-5 over lowly Kentucky) and Texas Tech (63-21 over No. 23 Kansas) lighting up the scoreboard at a record pace. The one interesting non-Top 25 game of the weekend featured Navy, which defeated Southern Methodist 34-7 without throwing a single forward pass. Yes, 49 runs, zero passes, thanks for a real lesson in 19th century football, Navy coach Ken Niumatalolo. I know you were down to your third-string quarterback and all and that you run the overwhelming majority of the time even when you do have your starting QB on the field, but NO forward passes? Feel free to mix in a pass or two next game, either that or suit your guys up in leather helmets with no face masks and keep score on a hand-operated scoreboard. The other development from the weekend that has me excited is that non-BCS unbeatens and threats to crash the BCS party such as Ball State, Tulsa and Boise State kept on winning, inching closer to the top 12 of the idiotic BCS rankings and a guaranteed slot in the BCS system. On the whole, not the best Saturday of the college football season, but there were a few bright spots and enough oddities to make it a good one……
- So is Ted Stevens more qualified or less qualified to be a United States senator now that he has been found guilty Monday of all seven counts in his federal corruption trial? On the surface, it might seem that being a felon seven times over would be a negative in terms of someone having a job with serious responsibilities, but let’s remember that we are talking about the U.S. Congress here, people. So when Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska is convicted by a jury of “knowingly and willfully” scheming to conceal on Senate disclosure forms more than $250,000 in home renovations and other gifts from an Alaska-based oil industry contractor, I tend to think it makes him more capable of being a true senator. What is the U.S. Senate if not a haven for liars, cheaters, manipulators and criminals who try to squeeze every possible dollar and perk out of their position for every day they are in office? Thus, I like to think of it as a minor detail that Stevens faces a maximum sentence of up to 35 years in prison -- five years for each of the seven counts - because I like to think positive, not focus on the worst-case scenario. After all, the judge has the discretion to give Stevens as little as no jail time and probation when he is sentenced, so there’s no reason he can’t keep right on passing pork barrel legislation, sexually harassing staffers and enjoying bribes from all sorts of lobbyists. Besides, even though he’s been convicted and mountains of evidence exist against him, my man Ted Stevens isn’t giving up, saying after the verdict, “It's not over yet.” Now I don’t know if that’s just because dude is old and senile, but he and his legal team are in fact pushing for a new trial. So don’t let this little matter of a criminal conviction and possible prison time sway your vote, Alaskans, as you decide between Stevens and his Democratic challenger, Mark Begich, in next week’s election. Don’t turn your back on a man who has served you in a marginally ethical manner since1968. Never has Ted Stevens been more qualified to be a United States senator, so don’t let him down now……
- Not a tremendous surprise here, that Disney's “High School Musical 3: Senior Year” clawed its way to the top of the weekend box office class with $42 million, easily outdistancing the horror sequel “Saw V”. A G-rated film that teens and pre-teens love is bound to out-earn an R-rated, lame sequel to a horror movie franchise that ran out of actual intrigue three installments ago. As the creators of the “Saw” franchise continue to whore out their concept and show a total lack of creative and cinematic credibility by trotting out the same tired crap five times in a row, it was actually funny to see them get their ass kicked by a bunch of singing, dancing teenagers. “Saw V” brought in $30.5 million and finished in second place, which is fitting because it’s a second-rate movie at best. The overall picture for movies this weekend was good, as the top 12 films took in $120.5 million, up 41 percent from the same weekend last year, when "Saw IV", equally moronic to its most recent sequel, led the weekend with a $31.8 million debut. Adding to the positive news for HSM 3 is the fact that the film also pulled in $40 million in 19 other countries where it has opened, among them Great Britain, Germany and Spain. Here is how the top 10 shook down from the top to the bottom: 1) "High School Musical 3," $42 million, 2) "Saw V," $30.5 million, 3) "Max Payne," $7.6 million, 4) "Beverly Hills Chihuahua," $6.9 million, 5) "Pride and Glory," $6.3 million, 6) "The Secret Life of Bees," $5.9 million, 7) "W.," $5.3 million (yes, Oliver Stone, you are still a drug-addicted kook), 8) "Eagle Eye," $5.1 million, 9) "Body of Lies," $4.1 million, 10) "Quarantine," $2.6 million. A pretty diverse group of films overall, but the one common them for at least half of them? They absolutely suck……
- Welcome to Lynwood, California, or as I like to call it, the home of Hooker Cam. Seems city officials in Lynwood have gotten a little tired of women plying the world’s oldest profession on their streets, so they have enlisted the help of a new tool in the fight against prostitution - surveillance cameras. Officials have installed four Advanced Surveillance and Protection, or ASAP, cameras on major roadways throughout the city in hopes of shutting down pimps, ho’s and johns. “We have had problems for a long time, and the businesses and residents that reside in that area said, `you know, we need to do something about it,"” Lynwood Mayor Maria Santillan said. The cameras are up and running 24 hours a day and are monitored around the clock, so it’s just become a lot harder to score a decent hooker in the area. “Don't come to Lynwood if you're looking for a prostitute, they're aren't going to be any around,” Sheriff Lee Baca said Saturday. Yeah, either that or they are going to find ways around this new system, move to new locations and away from the eyes of your cameras, Sheriff, one or the other. You may feel confident because your new cameras cam zoom in on individuals soliciting prostitutes and take a picture of them or videotape the incident, but it won't be long before the affected parties learn where the cameras are and make adjustments, it’s just human nature. When one choice is taken away, people will always seek out another means to get their freak on, period. So while you may hope to install nine more cameras by early December, by no means are you ever going to stamp out this skanky profession for good. But hey, at least you can feel good about placating the citizens who just five months ago marched down Long Beach Blvd. -- a notorious area for prostitution -- amongst used condoms on the street, demanding the city take action. The result was the new cameras, which cost about $20,000 each, for a total of about $250,000. Best of success with this new approach, Lynwood, may your streets be hooker-free…..although I wouldn’t count on it…..
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Riot Watch! returns, Isaiah Thomas throws his daughter under the bus and more Tony Alamo fallout (other than his name sounding like a porn name)
- Think video gamers are just wasting time and their few functioning brain cells by vegging out on the couch and playing X-Box, PS3or Wii? Think again. Over the weekend, hundreds of games gathered at the University of Connecticut for the EA Sports NCAA Football 2009 Challenge Prelimaries. The even kicked off on the UConn campus at noon on Friday, with the 16th and final spot in the tournament is up for grabs. Those who qualify for the big showdown will compete in January at the 2009 Rose Bowl, where EA Sports will give away $10,000 to the most skilled X-Box 360 gamer. EA Sports Marketing Director Brian Movalson, seems very excited and possibly disturbingly so as he is discussing a video game. “The EA SPORTS NCAA Football Challenge presented by Coca-Cola Zero brings the competition and excitement college football players feel every week to gamers in college towns across the nation.” Umm, no. You may be offering video game degenerates who spend more time on their couch than the Doritos and beer stains that also reside there, but don’t mistake that moment in the sun for these slugs as the same type of rush actual players who aren’t overweight, gorged on junk food, incapable of breaking 7.0 in the 40-yard dash and sporting skin whiter than Casper the Friendly ghost get out on real football fields. And oh yeah, girls may be lining up to get with star football players on campus, but I don’t think the same can be said for the top video gamers. Oddly enough, chicks don’t dig guys who are a wiz with the controller…..
- Boy, the hits just keep on coming for evangelist/(alleged) pedophile and polygamist Tony Alamo. As Alamo himself is in jail awaiting trial on charges that he, among other things, transported a minor across state lines for the purposes of having sex, the man identified as the chief enforcer in Alamo’s shady organization/cult is now under fire for the crimes he is alleged to have committed in service of the megalomaniacal Alamo. John Erwin Kolbeck is alleged to have beaten Alamo's followers for even minor infractions like playing with a spray bottle, with victims like Seth Calagna recalling nightmares of lying on the Fort Smith warehouse floor, feeling a wooden boardf crashing into backside as blood oozed onto the winter-cooled concrete. In an interview with detectives, Calagna told detectives months later that, Kolbeck even paused after 20 strikes to order another ministry member to pull off the 17-year-old's pants and thermals. Gee, hard to see why Kolbeck faces an arrest warrant on a second-degree felony battery charge, isn’t it? Of course, before the charges can be put into motion against Kolbeck, he’ll need to be found first. Yes, dude hasn't been seen since federal agents and state troopers raided one of the ministry's Arkansas compounds more than a month ago. But that doesn’t look at all suspicios, right? Police raid the compound where you (allegedly) did your vile, reprehensible work and you suddenly disappear into thin air. Then again, what do you expect from a scumbag whom Tony Alamo sometimes introduced by mimicking Jack Nicholson's menacing "Here's Johnny!" from "The Shining"? Or from a guy who was nearly arrested by the Fort Smith Police Department in March 2006 after allegedly performing a wedding ceremony between a 13-year-old girl and a 34-year-old man at Alamo's church. Just no shortage of quality individuals around this organization, eh?.......
- We have a Dawson Leery sighting. James Van der Beek hasn’t been seen much since the end of teen soap pioneer Dawson’s Creek in 2003, having only bit parts in smaller projects since then, but he’s popping up this season on another teen drama that films in the same area, One Tree Hill. Van der Beek, who spent much of time as a teenager in North Carolina working on Dawson's Creek, is heading back to the state to guest star on One Tree Hill. At present, he’s only scheduled to appear in one episode, airing Nov. 24. Ironically, he will be playing a filmmaker who wants to put one of Lucas Scott’s novels on the big screen, which is ironic because on Dawson’s Creek his character was an aspiring filmmaker, bordering on obsessive when it came to movies. “The specter of Dawson's Creek is always around us,” Tree Hill boss Mark Schwahn admits while also pointing out that his series films on the same lot that DC used to. “So I thought it would be cool to get James.” Other than this guest spot, Van der Beek's most recent TV credits include short-lived visits to Ugly Betty, Criminal Minds and How I Met Your Mother, none of which I actually saw. So welcome back to the teen drama world, Dawson Leery, we’ve missed you…..
- I’ve been holding off commenting on the ongoing saga involving former New York Knicks coach/GM/franchise killer Isaiah Thomas, but this is getting too good to hold back any longer. After authorities were called early Friday to Thomas' Westchester County home, because a 47-year-old man was taken to the hospital and treated for an overdose of sleeping pills, Thomas and his family were quick to throw his 17-year-old daughter Lauren under the bus as the Thomas rushed to the hospital. And no, it’s not just me accusing Zeke and his family of tossing Lauren under the bus, the local police chief in the case said the same thing - literally. Harrison Police Chief David Hall likened the conflicting accounts of an accidental overdose at Thomas' home to a “cover-up. It wasn't his daughter, and why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand,” Hall mused. So the police are saying it was Thomas, a 47-year-old male, and Thomas is saying it was a 17-year-old girl. For some reason, Hall seems to disagree with Thomas’ characterization of the event. “My cops ... know the difference between a 47-year-old black male and a young black female,” Hall fumed. For good measure, he added a Richard Nixon blast, saying, Thomas and his family should “learn something from Richard Nixon -- it's not the crime, it's the cover-up.” That return volley didn’t sit well with the Thomas clan, as Zeke’s 20-year-old son, Joshua, was quick to refute Hall’s comments. “Saying that someone is being thrown under the bus when you are talking about health issues is disrespectful,” Joshua Thomas fumed in a text message. “I love both my sister and dad and am glad that both are doing well.” Boy that was a cleverly worded non-denial denial, J. To be fair, he later did argue that
it was his sister, not his father, who required treatment. Whatever you say, Thomas clan. What we know is that an ambulance and two police officers responded to a 911 call that came in from your home a couple minutes after midnight and the victim was taken about 5 miles from the home to White Plains Hospital Center, where officials declined to identify the overdose patient, citing privacy laws. While they still can’t identify the patient, it’s clear that they feel confident it was Isaiah Thomas and not Lauren. Honestly, this is a really jacked up situation and I just hope that whoever the involved parties were that they receive the treatment and counseling they so obviously need…..
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Because nothing fills me with joy quite like relaying news of riots, protests and social dissidence worldwide, I am happy to tell you about a great event held yesterday in Taipei, Taiwan. There, tens of thousands of opposition supporters marched through the country’s capital to protest an upcoming visit by a senior Chinese envoy. These great Taiwanese citizens believe that the trip is part of Chinese efforts to assert control over the self-ruled island. In other words, they’re accusing The Man of trying to hold them down, the most anti-establishment claim of all. Adding a touch of panache and spirit to the proceedings were the T-shirts donned by many protestors, their message proclaiming the slogan “Defend Taiwan.” And as with any good riot or protest, these intrepid souls mixed in a healthy dose of accusations directed at their own leader, pointing the finger at Taiwanese President Ma Ying-jeou for making too many concessions and moving too fast in relaxing restrictions on trade and investment with China. “The government has not done enough to protect our own interests when opening up to China,” said protester Karin Hsieh. Well said, Karin, well said. The minds behind this beautiful act of social dissidence are the progressive thinkers at the opposition Democratic Progressive Party. They have blasted Ma's efforts to seek stronger ties with the mainland since he took office in May, a policy that stands in stark contrast to the one espoused by his predecessor, the DPP's Chen Shui-bian, who had pursued a strict anti-China and pro-independence policy. All told, the march wound for several miles through Taipei, quite a sight to see for those who love a good protest like myself. Whether this demonstration will have any effect on Ma's initiative to resume talks in June between the two nations following a hiatus of almost 10 years is unclear. Honestly, accomplishing that objective might necessitate stepping it up a notch, say a pinch of property destruction, a cadre of clashes with police and a nice dose of general mayhem and chicanery. Burn a few buildings, overturn a few cars, smash windows with rocks and clash with riot police and you might have a shot at putting a halt to the second round of high-level talks is to be held in Taipei in early November. In other words, take the lead of pro-independence supporters in southern Taiwan who were able to disrupt a visit by a Chinese official this past week by clashing with security. The official was pushed and knocked to the ground by a small number of protesters who shouted “Taiwan does not belong to China.” Now THAT is what I’m talking about, Taiwan. You need to exert a little muscle and knock some heads to get things done in the world of protests and riots. Meek ain’t getting it done, people. Your country split from China in 1949 for a reason (civil wars tend to do that), but Beijing continues to claim the island as part of its territory and has threatened to attack if Taiwan moves to formalize its independence. Don’t let them intimidate you, Taiwan! Don’t take their smog-riddled, poison-water, lead-paint-toy having bullsh*t! Take it to the streets early, often and with a bad attitude……..
- Boy, the hits just keep on coming for evangelist/(alleged) pedophile and polygamist Tony Alamo. As Alamo himself is in jail awaiting trial on charges that he, among other things, transported a minor across state lines for the purposes of having sex, the man identified as the chief enforcer in Alamo’s shady organization/cult is now under fire for the crimes he is alleged to have committed in service of the megalomaniacal Alamo. John Erwin Kolbeck is alleged to have beaten Alamo's followers for even minor infractions like playing with a spray bottle, with victims like Seth Calagna recalling nightmares of lying on the Fort Smith warehouse floor, feeling a wooden boardf crashing into backside as blood oozed onto the winter-cooled concrete. In an interview with detectives, Calagna told detectives months later that, Kolbeck even paused after 20 strikes to order another ministry member to pull off the 17-year-old's pants and thermals. Gee, hard to see why Kolbeck faces an arrest warrant on a second-degree felony battery charge, isn’t it? Of course, before the charges can be put into motion against Kolbeck, he’ll need to be found first. Yes, dude hasn't been seen since federal agents and state troopers raided one of the ministry's Arkansas compounds more than a month ago. But that doesn’t look at all suspicios, right? Police raid the compound where you (allegedly) did your vile, reprehensible work and you suddenly disappear into thin air. Then again, what do you expect from a scumbag whom Tony Alamo sometimes introduced by mimicking Jack Nicholson's menacing "Here's Johnny!" from "The Shining"? Or from a guy who was nearly arrested by the Fort Smith Police Department in March 2006 after allegedly performing a wedding ceremony between a 13-year-old girl and a 34-year-old man at Alamo's church. Just no shortage of quality individuals around this organization, eh?.......
- We have a Dawson Leery sighting. James Van der Beek hasn’t been seen much since the end of teen soap pioneer Dawson’s Creek in 2003, having only bit parts in smaller projects since then, but he’s popping up this season on another teen drama that films in the same area, One Tree Hill. Van der Beek, who spent much of time as a teenager in North Carolina working on Dawson's Creek, is heading back to the state to guest star on One Tree Hill. At present, he’s only scheduled to appear in one episode, airing Nov. 24. Ironically, he will be playing a filmmaker who wants to put one of Lucas Scott’s novels on the big screen, which is ironic because on Dawson’s Creek his character was an aspiring filmmaker, bordering on obsessive when it came to movies. “The specter of Dawson's Creek is always around us,” Tree Hill boss Mark Schwahn admits while also pointing out that his series films on the same lot that DC used to. “So I thought it would be cool to get James.” Other than this guest spot, Van der Beek's most recent TV credits include short-lived visits to Ugly Betty, Criminal Minds and How I Met Your Mother, none of which I actually saw. So welcome back to the teen drama world, Dawson Leery, we’ve missed you…..
- I’ve been holding off commenting on the ongoing saga involving former New York Knicks coach/GM/franchise killer Isaiah Thomas, but this is getting too good to hold back any longer. After authorities were called early Friday to Thomas' Westchester County home, because a 47-year-old man was taken to the hospital and treated for an overdose of sleeping pills, Thomas and his family were quick to throw his 17-year-old daughter Lauren under the bus as the Thomas rushed to the hospital. And no, it’s not just me accusing Zeke and his family of tossing Lauren under the bus, the local police chief in the case said the same thing - literally. Harrison Police Chief David Hall likened the conflicting accounts of an accidental overdose at Thomas' home to a “cover-up. It wasn't his daughter, and why they're throwing her under the bus is beyond my ability to understand,” Hall mused. So the police are saying it was Thomas, a 47-year-old male, and Thomas is saying it was a 17-year-old girl. For some reason, Hall seems to disagree with Thomas’ characterization of the event. “My cops ... know the difference between a 47-year-old black male and a young black female,” Hall fumed. For good measure, he added a Richard Nixon blast, saying, Thomas and his family should “learn something from Richard Nixon -- it's not the crime, it's the cover-up.” That return volley didn’t sit well with the Thomas clan, as Zeke’s 20-year-old son, Joshua, was quick to refute Hall’s comments. “Saying that someone is being thrown under the bus when you are talking about health issues is disrespectful,” Joshua Thomas fumed in a text message. “I love both my sister and dad and am glad that both are doing well.” Boy that was a cleverly worded non-denial denial, J. To be fair, he later did argue that
it was his sister, not his father, who required treatment. Whatever you say, Thomas clan. What we know is that an ambulance and two police officers responded to a 911 call that came in from your home a couple minutes after midnight and the victim was taken about 5 miles from the home to White Plains Hospital Center, where officials declined to identify the overdose patient, citing privacy laws. While they still can’t identify the patient, it’s clear that they feel confident it was Isaiah Thomas and not Lauren. Honestly, this is a really jacked up situation and I just hope that whoever the involved parties were that they receive the treatment and counseling they so obviously need…..
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! Because nothing fills me with joy quite like relaying news of riots, protests and social dissidence worldwide, I am happy to tell you about a great event held yesterday in Taipei, Taiwan. There, tens of thousands of opposition supporters marched through the country’s capital to protest an upcoming visit by a senior Chinese envoy. These great Taiwanese citizens believe that the trip is part of Chinese efforts to assert control over the self-ruled island. In other words, they’re accusing The Man of trying to hold them down, the most anti-establishment claim of all. Adding a touch of panache and spirit to the proceedings were the T-shirts donned by many protestors, their message proclaiming the slogan “Defend Taiwan.” And as with any good riot or protest, these intrepid souls mixed in a healthy dose of accusations directed at their own leader, pointing the finger at Taiwanese President Ma Ying-jeou for making too many concessions and moving too fast in relaxing restrictions on trade and investment with China. “The government has not done enough to protect our own interests when opening up to China,” said protester Karin Hsieh. Well said, Karin, well said. The minds behind this beautiful act of social dissidence are the progressive thinkers at the opposition Democratic Progressive Party. They have blasted Ma's efforts to seek stronger ties with the mainland since he took office in May, a policy that stands in stark contrast to the one espoused by his predecessor, the DPP's Chen Shui-bian, who had pursued a strict anti-China and pro-independence policy. All told, the march wound for several miles through Taipei, quite a sight to see for those who love a good protest like myself. Whether this demonstration will have any effect on Ma's initiative to resume talks in June between the two nations following a hiatus of almost 10 years is unclear. Honestly, accomplishing that objective might necessitate stepping it up a notch, say a pinch of property destruction, a cadre of clashes with police and a nice dose of general mayhem and chicanery. Burn a few buildings, overturn a few cars, smash windows with rocks and clash with riot police and you might have a shot at putting a halt to the second round of high-level talks is to be held in Taipei in early November. In other words, take the lead of pro-independence supporters in southern Taiwan who were able to disrupt a visit by a Chinese official this past week by clashing with security. The official was pushed and knocked to the ground by a small number of protesters who shouted “Taiwan does not belong to China.” Now THAT is what I’m talking about, Taiwan. You need to exert a little muscle and knock some heads to get things done in the world of protests and riots. Meek ain’t getting it done, people. Your country split from China in 1949 for a reason (civil wars tend to do that), but Beijing continues to claim the island as part of its territory and has threatened to attack if Taiwan moves to formalize its independence. Don’t let them intimidate you, Taiwan! Don’t take their smog-riddled, poison-water, lead-paint-toy having bullsh*t! Take it to the streets early, often and with a bad attitude……..
Saturday, October 25, 2008
How to successfully disappear a dog, prison inmates in the college football recruiting process and an idiot in the spotlight
- Council Bluff, Iowa: irony and hypocrisy live here. Yes, I also thought that irony and hypocrisy made their homes elsewhere, but news out of the heartland seems to indicated otherwise. When you think of drunk driving and the police, you get mental pictures of cops pulling over hammered motorists, running sobriety checkpoints and administering field sobriety tests, right? I’m guessing that none of you thought of a police officer being the one getting plastered and driving, but allow me ton introduce to you Council Bluffs police officer Terry Cozad. It seems Officer Cozad likes the drinky drinky a little too much, because he has been on paid administrative leave following his arrest Sunday night by a Mills County sheriff's deputy for suspicion of drunk driving. That tends to happen when you are driving erratically and refuse to take an alcohol breath test when you are pulled over. Adding to the irony is that Cozad, who has been with the Council Bluffs police department since 1999, was named officer of the year earlier this year. Wow, if that’s your best officer, I’d hate to see some of your lesser ones. This is a case that has to be offensive to all of us, because cops are the ones always talking about the tragedies they see out on the roads as a result of drunken driving, and here’s a guy who has seen that for nearly a decade and yet he still has the total deficit of intelligence, responsibility and judgment to get behind the wheel all boozed up? Well done, T. Cozad, well done…..
- For some inexplicable reason, Curb Your Enthusiasm has been a celebrated, respected show for nearly all of its six seasons on the air. I’ve never been a fan and have gotten precious few laughs from the show when I have watched it, but maybe that’s just me. It is a distant second in Larry David-led projects in my book, light years behind Seinfeld, but for those of you who do enjoy it, Curb will be back in no time. HBO is looking at a December start date for production on the seventh season of the series. It won't be a long season; the new campaign will consist of 10 episodes and premiere next year. Rumor is that the producers are shooting for a return to air at the beginning of 2009, which would make for a 24-esque 18 month hiatus since Season 6 wrapped up. However, when you compare it to the 21-month drought between the fifth and sixth seasons, it isn’t so bad. Were this a show I actually liked and followed, I would probably be really upset to have to wait that long between seasons, but like I said, Curb Your Enthusiasm has never inspired much enthusiasm in me….
- College football recruits receive all sorts of mail and communication from coaches, schools and sometimes even fans of programs that are recruiting them. But it’s not often that a prized recruit receives a letter from someone in the pokey. Prison inmates don’t tend to be a vital part of the recruiting process for obvious reasons, what with being convicted criminals, being confined to small cells most of the day and not having that much of an active role in the day-to-day operations of college athletics programs. To be fair, many inmates are former athletes who have gone knucklehead and ruined their lives and careers by going thug at the worst possible time, but even those guys tend to be far removed from the recruiting process. Thus, it had to come as a major surprise to a couple of highly ranked football recruits in Arizona, including Devon Kennard, son of former Wolf Pack player Derek Kennard, when they received multi-page letters from an inmate in the California State Penitentiary system. And who was this convicted felon urging them to sign with? That would be the University of Notre Dame. Yup, Charlie Weis and staff are getting a nice boost from California inmate #5409101. I’m sure Coach Weis is ecstatic to have a prison inmate thousands of miles away besieging some of his recruits with letters. “Dear Devon, I realize that you do not know me and I am a convicted felon living in another state, but bro, you need to sign with Notre Dame. It’s a great school and you’d like it there….and oh yeah, at some point I’m going to get parole and if you don’t sign with them, I know who you are and where you live…….”
- See, this is what happens when you put an idiot in the spotlight of a major political campaign. No, I’m not talking about W., although this could definitely apply to him as well. Joe Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. Joe the Plumber, the most famous drain un-clogger in America thanks to John McCain and Sarah Palin, has seized upon his 15 minutes of fame to score a spot on conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham’s show Friday and used his undeserved platform to announce that he's considering a run for Congress in 2010. And where would a totally unqualified, unfit individual run for Congress? That would be against longtime Democratic Rep. Marcy Kaptur for Ohio's 9th district, which includes Toledo and Sandusky. “I'll tell you what, we'd definitely be in one heck of a fight, Marcy Kaptur definitely has a following in this area,” Wurzelbacher said “But, you know, I'd be up for it.” Would you, Joe? Awful magnanimous of you, what with you having no qualifications to run and only saying this because you’ve gotten the mistaken impression that because of s chance encounter with a presidential candidate that was caught on camera, you’re an important person. Also, very big of you to say that it’d be a a heck of a fight, considering it would be no fight at all because you wouldn’t even be chosen as your party’s candidate. Just appreciate the moment in the sun you’ve been given after challenging Barack Obama on his tax plan earlier this month and don’t push it. Doesn’t help Laura Ingraham’s credibility much when she says that she would immediately volunteer for his campaign and help him with campaign advertising and PR. Not that I know who you are or care, L., but you want to throw your support behind some dude who spends most of his days snaking drains, yanking hairballs from sinks and unclogging toilets, that says nothing good about you. So make the most of what remains of your 15 minutes, Joe the Glorified Handyman, and then just go away……
- We’ve all been here. Who among us hasn’t lived next to or near that neighbor with the uber-annoying pet, usually a dog, that causes nothing but trouble and annoyance for everyone in the neighborhood? Whether the dog digs in your bushes, poops in your yard, runs out of its yard to try and bite you when you walk by or just barks incessantly at all hours of the night, the bottom line is that the pooch is a nuisance that needs to be dealt with. But almost inevitably, the owners of these dogs seem either oblivious or indifferent to the trouble their pet causes. So I’m going to go contrarian here (shocker, right?) and side with Diane M. Brown of Hemet, Calif. after she was arrested and accused of stealing her neighbor's noisy dog and abandoning it 15 miles away. According to Riverside County Animal Services officers, a notoriously untrustworthy group, Brown had filed multiple complaints about her neighbor's dog, saying “Spike” was too noisy. Predictably, The Man didn’t have her back, with a Riverside County judge ruling that the barking dog claims were unfounded. So what’s a person left to do when the law won't do its job and take the necessary steps to silence an annoying pet? The answer is that you have to do, namely make the fluffy, white Maltese disappear. Brown’s mistake wasn’t (allegedly) taking the dog and dumping it; her error was dumping the dog without taking the dog’s collar and ID before dumping it and also dumping the dog in an error where THERE WERE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS!!! You don’t need to be a criminal mastermind to know that you need to dump the dog in as secluded, wooded area with no one around, Diane. But no, she stopped in the town of Beaumont, took Spike out of the trunk of her car and leaving the dog by the Cherry Valley Water District building before driving away. Not only that, she forgot to remove Spike’s collar the first time around and a surveillance camera caught Brown when she returned to the scene to remove the collar. After that, a local veterinarian called the dog's owner, Lora Young, saying they had Spike. Looks like I need to make this another one of the available courses at my upcoming seminar for aspiring criminals striving to overcome subpar IQ’s: How to successfully disappear an annoying dog……..
- For some inexplicable reason, Curb Your Enthusiasm has been a celebrated, respected show for nearly all of its six seasons on the air. I’ve never been a fan and have gotten precious few laughs from the show when I have watched it, but maybe that’s just me. It is a distant second in Larry David-led projects in my book, light years behind Seinfeld, but for those of you who do enjoy it, Curb will be back in no time. HBO is looking at a December start date for production on the seventh season of the series. It won't be a long season; the new campaign will consist of 10 episodes and premiere next year. Rumor is that the producers are shooting for a return to air at the beginning of 2009, which would make for a 24-esque 18 month hiatus since Season 6 wrapped up. However, when you compare it to the 21-month drought between the fifth and sixth seasons, it isn’t so bad. Were this a show I actually liked and followed, I would probably be really upset to have to wait that long between seasons, but like I said, Curb Your Enthusiasm has never inspired much enthusiasm in me….
- College football recruits receive all sorts of mail and communication from coaches, schools and sometimes even fans of programs that are recruiting them. But it’s not often that a prized recruit receives a letter from someone in the pokey. Prison inmates don’t tend to be a vital part of the recruiting process for obvious reasons, what with being convicted criminals, being confined to small cells most of the day and not having that much of an active role in the day-to-day operations of college athletics programs. To be fair, many inmates are former athletes who have gone knucklehead and ruined their lives and careers by going thug at the worst possible time, but even those guys tend to be far removed from the recruiting process. Thus, it had to come as a major surprise to a couple of highly ranked football recruits in Arizona, including Devon Kennard, son of former Wolf Pack player Derek Kennard, when they received multi-page letters from an inmate in the California State Penitentiary system. And who was this convicted felon urging them to sign with? That would be the University of Notre Dame. Yup, Charlie Weis and staff are getting a nice boost from California inmate #5409101. I’m sure Coach Weis is ecstatic to have a prison inmate thousands of miles away besieging some of his recruits with letters. “Dear Devon, I realize that you do not know me and I am a convicted felon living in another state, but bro, you need to sign with Notre Dame. It’s a great school and you’d like it there….and oh yeah, at some point I’m going to get parole and if you don’t sign with them, I know who you are and where you live…….”
- See, this is what happens when you put an idiot in the spotlight of a major political campaign. No, I’m not talking about W., although this could definitely apply to him as well. Joe Wurzelbacher, a.k.a. Joe the Plumber, the most famous drain un-clogger in America thanks to John McCain and Sarah Palin, has seized upon his 15 minutes of fame to score a spot on conservative talk radio host Laura Ingraham’s show Friday and used his undeserved platform to announce that he's considering a run for Congress in 2010. And where would a totally unqualified, unfit individual run for Congress? That would be against longtime Democratic Rep. Marcy Kaptur for Ohio's 9th district, which includes Toledo and Sandusky. “I'll tell you what, we'd definitely be in one heck of a fight, Marcy Kaptur definitely has a following in this area,” Wurzelbacher said “But, you know, I'd be up for it.” Would you, Joe? Awful magnanimous of you, what with you having no qualifications to run and only saying this because you’ve gotten the mistaken impression that because of s chance encounter with a presidential candidate that was caught on camera, you’re an important person. Also, very big of you to say that it’d be a a heck of a fight, considering it would be no fight at all because you wouldn’t even be chosen as your party’s candidate. Just appreciate the moment in the sun you’ve been given after challenging Barack Obama on his tax plan earlier this month and don’t push it. Doesn’t help Laura Ingraham’s credibility much when she says that she would immediately volunteer for his campaign and help him with campaign advertising and PR. Not that I know who you are or care, L., but you want to throw your support behind some dude who spends most of his days snaking drains, yanking hairballs from sinks and unclogging toilets, that says nothing good about you. So make the most of what remains of your 15 minutes, Joe the Glorified Handyman, and then just go away……
- We’ve all been here. Who among us hasn’t lived next to or near that neighbor with the uber-annoying pet, usually a dog, that causes nothing but trouble and annoyance for everyone in the neighborhood? Whether the dog digs in your bushes, poops in your yard, runs out of its yard to try and bite you when you walk by or just barks incessantly at all hours of the night, the bottom line is that the pooch is a nuisance that needs to be dealt with. But almost inevitably, the owners of these dogs seem either oblivious or indifferent to the trouble their pet causes. So I’m going to go contrarian here (shocker, right?) and side with Diane M. Brown of Hemet, Calif. after she was arrested and accused of stealing her neighbor's noisy dog and abandoning it 15 miles away. According to Riverside County Animal Services officers, a notoriously untrustworthy group, Brown had filed multiple complaints about her neighbor's dog, saying “Spike” was too noisy. Predictably, The Man didn’t have her back, with a Riverside County judge ruling that the barking dog claims were unfounded. So what’s a person left to do when the law won't do its job and take the necessary steps to silence an annoying pet? The answer is that you have to do, namely make the fluffy, white Maltese disappear. Brown’s mistake wasn’t (allegedly) taking the dog and dumping it; her error was dumping the dog without taking the dog’s collar and ID before dumping it and also dumping the dog in an error where THERE WERE SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS!!! You don’t need to be a criminal mastermind to know that you need to dump the dog in as secluded, wooded area with no one around, Diane. But no, she stopped in the town of Beaumont, took Spike out of the trunk of her car and leaving the dog by the Cherry Valley Water District building before driving away. Not only that, she forgot to remove Spike’s collar the first time around and a surveillance camera caught Brown when she returned to the scene to remove the collar. After that, a local veterinarian called the dog's owner, Lora Young, saying they had Spike. Looks like I need to make this another one of the available courses at my upcoming seminar for aspiring criminals striving to overcome subpar IQ’s: How to successfully disappear an annoying dog……..
Friday, October 24, 2008
Phony assaults, proof that pro soccer in America is still a joke and rich people getting evicted.....good times
- I never like wishing bad things on people, even ones I don’t especially like. However, I make exceptions when it comes to country music artists, mostly because of the pain and suffering they have foisted on society with their putrid excuse for “music.” Under that principle, I don’t mind relaying news that country singer Lorrie Morgan has filed for bankruptcy for primarily business related debts in a Nashville court. Morgan filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in federal court, listing her estimated liabilities between $1 million to $10 million, which tends to be a problem when you report having assets of $500,000 to $1 million. I’m not an accountant, but the debts seem to be much larger than the assets, which is generally considered a bad thing. Morgan, living in the Nashville suburb of Lebanon, released a statement calling the bankruptcy “an unfortunate yet necessary part of the restructuring of my business.” Let me translate that: I’m broke, I’m washed up and I was still living like I was a successful artist with a steady income while my career declined. You might be trying to sell everyone on the fact that you’re okay, L., but most people’s definition of okay isn’t owing money to the Internal Revenue Service, banks and lawyers. Being down to the IRS is a big problem, because as I’ve stated over and over, there are lots of things you can get away with in this country - even double murder of your ex-wife and her waiter boyfriend - but trying to get over on the IRS is not one of them. This isn’t the first time Morgan has filed for bankruptcy, either; in 1992, she repaid her creditors in full and withdrew a bankruptcy petition after filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, listing more than $846,000 in debts. Not exactly a banner couple of years for her, either; last year, Morgan filed for divorce from country singer Sammy Kershaw. He was Morgan's fifth husband, and five failed marriages and two bankruptcy filings are about five failed marriages and two bankruptcy filings too many for one lifetime…..
- I may not be someone who is a stickler for drinking age laws, but I’m still going to err on the side of caution here and say that sixth grade is too early in life to start boozing it up. You wouldn’t think I would need to say that at all, but given the fact that several sixth-grade students at a Fort Collins (Colo.) elementary school have been disciplined after school officials caught them drinking alcohol at the school, it may be time to reconsider. According to Poudre School District spokeswoman Ellen Laubhan, the incident happened Friday at the school after one student brought alcohol to school and shared it with other students. Ah, the joys of peer pressure. The school district isn’t disclosing what discipline will be imposed on the students, but the sight of several 12-year-olds attending AA is a bizarre and amusing one. But leave it to a school district official like Laubhan to state the obvious, saying, “We do have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to alcohol.” Thanks for that, E. A junior high has a zero tolerance policy for alcohol? Given that none of your students, even the dumber ones who have been held back once or twice, are within seven years of the legal drinking age, is that a rule you really need? Some key details are also missing here, such as what kind of booze the kids were drinking, how much was consumed and how many students were involved. But if nothing else, this is a solid preview of your future Keg Stand All-Stars, America. Look for these kids at the University of Colorado, Colorado State or Northern Colorado in five or six years…..
- Here is yet more proof that soccer is not a legit, major professional sport in this country. European club team AC Milan is close to signing David Beckham on loan from the Los Angeles Galaxy, the Italian club said Wednesday. AC Milan is looking to lock up Becks during the Galaxy’s offseason, which makes it only slightly less ridiculous. I don’t remember the Bulls allowing Michael Jordan to sign with a Greek team during his offseason, nor do I recall the Yankees leeting Alex Rodriguez pick it for a Japanese team during his offseason. Under the terms of the proposed deal, Beckham would join the Serie A club in January and play there until the end of the season. Becks wants to play because doing so would keep him active and in the running for England’s World Cup qualifying team. In a hilarious twist, Beckham's spokesman, Simon Oliveira of 19 Management in Los Angeles, acknowledged talks are taking place for a short-term loan but "nothing is confirmed at present." Yes, a soccer player in the U.S. has a spokesman and representation. Know your place, soccer player. Your sport at the professional level is at best the seventh or eight most popular sport in this country, so in other words, you don’t matter here. The fact that one of your alleged biggest stars could be loaned out to a foreign team during the offseason is yet another piece of evidence that speaks to this fact loudly and clearly…..
- Being a human rights advocate and working to better the world apparently does not buy you and goodwill in the American legal system, at least when it comes to real estate and residency matters. New York's top court made the decision this week to uphold Bianca Jagger's eviction from a rent-stabilized Manhattan apartment, concluding that foreigners on tourist visas can't claim New York dwellings as their primary residence. Jagger, ex-wife of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, is a British human rights activist and ex-who was evicted in December from the Upper East Side apartment she had rented for 20 years. Why she’s fighting so hard to keep this place, I don’t know, because she hasn't lived in the apartment for the past few years because of a dispute over asbestos and fungus contamination. Said issues led to a lawsuit against landlord Katz Park Avenue Corp., but in the end it’s Jagger who felt the sting of the law. “There are still claims for legal fees and unpaid rent and use and occupancy,” said attorney Magda Cruz, the landlord's lawyer. In other words, Jagger not only didn’t live in the apartment, she clearly felt that her dispute over fungus and asbestos meant that she didn’t need to pay her rent. Jagger was renting the 18th-floor Park Avenue space for (at least in New York) a surprisingly low $4,614 a month when a judge imposed a fine in 2006 and ordered her to pay months of back rent. She continued to argue that the apartment was uninhabitable, but no one bought that line of B.S. That didn’t take away Jagger’s sense of privilege and entitlement, as she fought her eviction and dragged this matter out in court. But hey, she still has a nice apartment in London, so no worries……
- Nothing like faking an assault to show your support for your favorite presidential candidate. Allow me to introduce Republican campaign worker Ashley Todd of College Park, Texas, who will be charged with filing a false police report, a misdemeanor, and may face more charges after telling police she was assaulted by a man angered by a John McCain sticker on her car, then admitting she made up the report. Todd was in Pittsburgh, Pa. at an ATM in Pittsburgh's East End, when the phony assault allegedly occurred. She told police that a man approached her Wednesday night at the ATM, put a blade to her neck and demanded money. However, when police (shocker!) got around to investigating, they found “several inconsistencies” in Todd's statement. When they also could not find her in surveillance videos taken at the ATM, the suspicions of her story heightened. By the way, nice move there, Ashley. You may or may not know this, but ATM’s tend to be highly photographed locations, what with people liking to rob them or rob others using them, etc. To confirm their suspicions that Todd was, in fact, lying, police asked her take a polygraph test this morning and while the results weren’t made positive, you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what they were. In the end, when Todd came to the police station to help work on a composite sketch of the alleged attacker she caved and said she “ just wanted to tell the truth” -- that she was not robbed, and there was no attacker. No attack? That’s quite a departure from being punched in the back of the head, knocked to the ground, punched and kicked some more while while threatening to teach you a lesson for being a McCain supporter. And let’s be honest, McCain supporters don’t need to suffer a blow to the head - they already have suffered enough brain damage as is, otherwise they wouldn’t be supporting John McCain. So as much as it pains me, I’m going to have to agree with Assistant Police Chief Maurita Bryant, who said, “This has wasted so much time. ... It's just a lot of wasted man hours.” But nice move by the Obama campaign, wishing also Todd a "speedy recovery." This campaign just can’t end soon enough so these shenanigans will be over….
- I may not be someone who is a stickler for drinking age laws, but I’m still going to err on the side of caution here and say that sixth grade is too early in life to start boozing it up. You wouldn’t think I would need to say that at all, but given the fact that several sixth-grade students at a Fort Collins (Colo.) elementary school have been disciplined after school officials caught them drinking alcohol at the school, it may be time to reconsider. According to Poudre School District spokeswoman Ellen Laubhan, the incident happened Friday at the school after one student brought alcohol to school and shared it with other students. Ah, the joys of peer pressure. The school district isn’t disclosing what discipline will be imposed on the students, but the sight of several 12-year-olds attending AA is a bizarre and amusing one. But leave it to a school district official like Laubhan to state the obvious, saying, “We do have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to alcohol.” Thanks for that, E. A junior high has a zero tolerance policy for alcohol? Given that none of your students, even the dumber ones who have been held back once or twice, are within seven years of the legal drinking age, is that a rule you really need? Some key details are also missing here, such as what kind of booze the kids were drinking, how much was consumed and how many students were involved. But if nothing else, this is a solid preview of your future Keg Stand All-Stars, America. Look for these kids at the University of Colorado, Colorado State or Northern Colorado in five or six years…..
- Here is yet more proof that soccer is not a legit, major professional sport in this country. European club team AC Milan is close to signing David Beckham on loan from the Los Angeles Galaxy, the Italian club said Wednesday. AC Milan is looking to lock up Becks during the Galaxy’s offseason, which makes it only slightly less ridiculous. I don’t remember the Bulls allowing Michael Jordan to sign with a Greek team during his offseason, nor do I recall the Yankees leeting Alex Rodriguez pick it for a Japanese team during his offseason. Under the terms of the proposed deal, Beckham would join the Serie A club in January and play there until the end of the season. Becks wants to play because doing so would keep him active and in the running for England’s World Cup qualifying team. In a hilarious twist, Beckham's spokesman, Simon Oliveira of 19 Management in Los Angeles, acknowledged talks are taking place for a short-term loan but "nothing is confirmed at present." Yes, a soccer player in the U.S. has a spokesman and representation. Know your place, soccer player. Your sport at the professional level is at best the seventh or eight most popular sport in this country, so in other words, you don’t matter here. The fact that one of your alleged biggest stars could be loaned out to a foreign team during the offseason is yet another piece of evidence that speaks to this fact loudly and clearly…..
- Being a human rights advocate and working to better the world apparently does not buy you and goodwill in the American legal system, at least when it comes to real estate and residency matters. New York's top court made the decision this week to uphold Bianca Jagger's eviction from a rent-stabilized Manhattan apartment, concluding that foreigners on tourist visas can't claim New York dwellings as their primary residence. Jagger, ex-wife of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, is a British human rights activist and ex-who was evicted in December from the Upper East Side apartment she had rented for 20 years. Why she’s fighting so hard to keep this place, I don’t know, because she hasn't lived in the apartment for the past few years because of a dispute over asbestos and fungus contamination. Said issues led to a lawsuit against landlord Katz Park Avenue Corp., but in the end it’s Jagger who felt the sting of the law. “There are still claims for legal fees and unpaid rent and use and occupancy,” said attorney Magda Cruz, the landlord's lawyer. In other words, Jagger not only didn’t live in the apartment, she clearly felt that her dispute over fungus and asbestos meant that she didn’t need to pay her rent. Jagger was renting the 18th-floor Park Avenue space for (at least in New York) a surprisingly low $4,614 a month when a judge imposed a fine in 2006 and ordered her to pay months of back rent. She continued to argue that the apartment was uninhabitable, but no one bought that line of B.S. That didn’t take away Jagger’s sense of privilege and entitlement, as she fought her eviction and dragged this matter out in court. But hey, she still has a nice apartment in London, so no worries……
- Nothing like faking an assault to show your support for your favorite presidential candidate. Allow me to introduce Republican campaign worker Ashley Todd of College Park, Texas, who will be charged with filing a false police report, a misdemeanor, and may face more charges after telling police she was assaulted by a man angered by a John McCain sticker on her car, then admitting she made up the report. Todd was in Pittsburgh, Pa. at an ATM in Pittsburgh's East End, when the phony assault allegedly occurred. She told police that a man approached her Wednesday night at the ATM, put a blade to her neck and demanded money. However, when police (shocker!) got around to investigating, they found “several inconsistencies” in Todd's statement. When they also could not find her in surveillance videos taken at the ATM, the suspicions of her story heightened. By the way, nice move there, Ashley. You may or may not know this, but ATM’s tend to be highly photographed locations, what with people liking to rob them or rob others using them, etc. To confirm their suspicions that Todd was, in fact, lying, police asked her take a polygraph test this morning and while the results weren’t made positive, you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what they were. In the end, when Todd came to the police station to help work on a composite sketch of the alleged attacker she caved and said she “ just wanted to tell the truth” -- that she was not robbed, and there was no attacker. No attack? That’s quite a departure from being punched in the back of the head, knocked to the ground, punched and kicked some more while while threatening to teach you a lesson for being a McCain supporter. And let’s be honest, McCain supporters don’t need to suffer a blow to the head - they already have suffered enough brain damage as is, otherwise they wouldn’t be supporting John McCain. So as much as it pains me, I’m going to have to agree with Assistant Police Chief Maurita Bryant, who said, “This has wasted so much time. ... It's just a lot of wasted man hours.” But nice move by the Obama campaign, wishing also Todd a "speedy recovery." This campaign just can’t end soon enough so these shenanigans will be over….
Thursday, October 23, 2008
A Smallville recap, Miss Teen contestants run wild again (yay!) and an East Carolina football player blasting people with beer bottles
- It took a little while, but the spirit of the bad girl is back with a vengeance in the world of beauty pageants. From Bossier City, Louisiana, it’s the story of Miss Teen Louisiana, who lost her crown 11 days early after being arrested on charges of leaving a restaurant without paying and carrying marijuana. Lindsey Evans, 18, of Blanchard, La., was arrested after Bossier City police were called to a Posados Cafe restaurant Saturday evening because a group had left without paying $46.07. Yes, it all started with a dine-and-dash, always great to get caught up in much more serious charges because you skipped out on a dinner bill of less than $50. But theoretically, if you are going to dine and dash, one thing you don’t want to do is leave behind your purse with your ID in it, as Evans reportedly did. The manager at the restaurant found a pocketbook at the table and inside police found Evans' driver's license and about 2 grams of suspected marijuana in it. Uh-oh! That can’t be good. I’m now waiting for Evans to go with the requisite “not my pot” defense and try to push this off on one of her friends, so keep an eye peeled for that. It’s a given any time a famous or quasi-famous person is arrested for drug possession; the weed or blow is never theirs, it’s always a friend’s drugs. As for dining and dashing, the story Evans and her friends are going with is that the three women with Evans had paid her bill. At least that’s the story the three friends are selling; someone should have told that to Evans, because she admitted to police that she had not paid and neither had her friends. In spite of that, I find it offensive that RPM Productions Inc., the sponsor of the Miss Teen Louisiana pageant, took back the title on after learning that Evans had been arrested. She will have to return her sash and crown, but at least she won't have to return any other prizes or cash equivalents. Those winnings should be helpful as she fights theft charges, drug charges and drug paraphernalia charges. Her crown will be awarded to the next Miss Teen Louisiana November 1 at a pageant in Lafayette. Personally, I’m glad to see this element back in pageants, because otherwise who the hell cares about over-makeup-ed girls in expensive dresses reciting poetry, singing and talking about how they want to make the world a better place by helping orphans in far-off nations? Bring me the Tara Conner’s, the Caitlin Upton’s and other pageant contestants who make out with other girls at clubs, take drugs and go to rehab, because that’s the only way you’re keeping me interested….
- This is one of those situations where you wait so long for something that builds up so much hype that it can’t possibly live up to expectations….or can it? For more a freaking decade, we’ve been hearing rumblings about Guns N’ Roses’ amazing new album, Chinese Democracy. But because its members are all alcoholics, drug addicts and/or a-holes who can’t co-exist with one another, the album’s release has been delayed time and again. Well, we’ve finally gotten a look at the album, at least the first single, “Chinese Democracy,” released this week. It’s the group’s first official single since “Oh My God” in 1999, and obviously the title track of their first album of original material since Use Your Illusion I and II in 1991. You can listen to the track here and judge for yourself whether it lives up to the hype. I will warn you that the first minute of the nearly five-minute track is basically sound effects designed to warm things up, and it isn’t until a minute and a half in, that you get a patented Axl Rose scream. The refrain is decent at best, but it’s not the amazing payoff that the song seems to be building up to. At present, the track isn’t yet available for official download (like that’s going to stop anyone), having only been released to radio with mixed reactions. But I guess that when you’ve waited this long for something, it is virtually impossible for it to live up to expectations, so just be glad that if nothing else, we can finally stop hearing all the postulating about when this album is going to happen…..
- Now this is getting good. Weeks after being arrested on charges that he took a minor across state lines for sex, evangelist/pedophile Tony Alamo’s prosecution is really getting interesting. and by interesting, I mean sick, perverted and pretty darn freaky. A federal magistrate in Little Rock, Ark. called Alamo a flight risk Wednesday and ordered the evangelist held without bail until his. This ruling came after Alamo's former followers testified at a hearing that they were often beaten at his instructions and that Alamo practiced polygamy with several females, including a 9-year-old girl. That is just disturbing on a lot of levels, and I’m not even talking about ordering his followers to be beaten. Never thought I would see the day when someone would order people to be beaten down and it would be the least offensive thing that person was charged with, but the polygamy that included a 9-year-old girl is just stomach-churning awful. How do you even get to the point where you find enjoyment in that sort of disgusting behavior? Thankfully, U.S. Magistrate Judge Barry Bryant noted that Alamo is charged with a violent crime, which is why he won't be allowed bail. HAlso factoring into Bryant’s decision is the fact that Alamo fled a California child-abuse charge in 1989 and was arrested two years later in Tampa, Florida, living under an assumed name. Thus, it makes sense that he would be considered a flight risk, especially given that he now controls businesses and ministry locations in several states. “There is serious risk (Alamo) will flee or fail to appear,” Bryant said. So it hasn’t been a banner month for Alamo, beginning when he was arrested five days after a September 20 police raid on the Tony Alamo Christian Ministries compound in the southwest Arkansas town of Fouke. Things didn’t get better when witness Jael Sprinkle testified that she was taken as Alamo's wife at age 17 and that Alamo had five other wives at the time, one of which was t a 9-year-old girl. That is just jacked up but not totally surprising when you consider that Alamo is an advocate of allowing girls to marry when they reach puberty. But hey, what’s statutory rape without some straight-up physical violence too? There was plenty of that, with
Sprinkle saying that she, her parents and others were beaten, one of whom was a 12-year-old boy was paddled to the point of bleeding. Was Sprinkle done? Heck no. She went on to allege that included in Alamo's control over people in his organization was the fact that even inconsequential expenses such as toilet paper and toothpaste had to be approved by him and him alone. This just sounds….yikes. It sounds like a very violent, perverted cult and one I am glad to see being broken down and hopefully dismantled with its megalomaniacal, disgusting leader heading to prison…..
- Boy, the season really came off the tracks quickly for the East Carolina football team, didn’t it? It doesn’t seem like that long ago that the Pirates fired out of the gate 2-0 with wins over then-Top 25 teams West Virginia and Virginia Tech. They were the early season darlings of college football, looking ahead to an underwhelming Conference USA schedule that could give them a chance to go undefeated….and then it all came undone. The team has now lost 3 of 4 and sits at 4-3, plus its starting running back has decided that the middle of the season is a great time to go Animal House at an off-campus party. East Carolina running back Jonathan Williams finds himself facing new charges after two people said he hit them with a beer bottle outside a Greenville apartment complex last weekend. But hey, at least Williams turned himself in to Greenville police Tuesday evening at Pitt County Detention Center, that has to count for something, right? Maybe, but it didn’t prevent him from being arrested and charged on two misdemeanor counts of assault with a deadly weapon. Something about this gives me the sneaking suspicion that maybe, just maybe, my man J. Williams is not learning his lesson about criminal behavior. Why, you ask? Perhaps it’s because less than a month ago, he was arrested and charged with resisting a public officer for a separate incident. Nothing like stacking up arrests one on top of the other, bro. The East Carolina athletic department doesn’t seem enthralled with Williams’ behavior either; they have suspended him indefinitely from the team until his legal matters are resolved. The two alleged victims in the case, Douglas Robert Edwards, 20, and Bailey Hattem, 19, both of Greenville, say they were attempting to go back into a party at the apartment complex early Sunday morning when four men confronted them. As the story goes, one of the men hit Edwards in the neck and Hattem in the arm with a beer bottle and one of the victims said he recognized Williams from his days playing football at J.H. Rose High School in Greenville. The incident followed a very similar one outside the same apartment on the same day, when. Tyler James Kelly, 20, of Washington, N.C., was grabbed by four men who struck him several times on the head with a beer bottle until the bottle broke. Look, I know I’m always the guy saying that if you want to be an elite college football program, you need your share of felons and scumbags on the team, but I didn’t mean that you need one guy racking up tons of arrests all by himself, as Williams is doing. Heck, dude was charged in April for driving while impaired and underage drinking, so this is three in a six-month span. My man, allow your teammates to help you out. You get popped for underage drinking and let one of them get arrested for resisting arrest while another hits guys over the head with beer bottles at parties. It’s all about teamwork, because the way you’re going about it right now isn’t helping anyone, it’s hurting them……
- Tonight’s episode of Smallville featured the most scenes of Clark Kent acting like an a-hole that I can remember in the history of the show. With a mysterious killer wreaking havoc around Metropolis, CK was busy playing good Samaritan and helping those in need, whether they were the intended victim of a major crime or a small one. However, his good deeds also placed him at a major attack at the Ace of Clubs, where he found chaos, people injured, crushed, bleeding and unconscious. Under some of the rubble was Davis Bloom, a.k.a. Doomsday, the paramedic with whom Chloe has become close over the past few episodes. Amazingly, a bloodied Davis refused medical care and went back to the hospital, where he showered up and was stunned to find that he didn’t have a single scratch on him. Coupled with his recent rash of blackouts and the string of similar murders ravaging Metropolis, Davis worried that he might be the one behind the killings. He took his suspicions to Chloe, who refused to believe him and insisted that he couldn’t have done something this terrible. Clark wasn’t so trusting, confronting Davis later at the hospital and implying that because he had been the first paramedic on the scene at every one of the murders, maybe he was responsible. Davis shot back that Clark had also been spotted at every murder scene and had been there before anyone could have known about them. The two parted ways with tension in the air, but Clark wasn’t done throwing around accusations. He also went to Chloe’s revived Isis Foundation, where she had started support meetings for people with meteor powers. After one of the group’s members was among the murder victims and it happened the same night as one of their meetings, Clark stormed into the Isis office and demanded that Chloe give him the names of the people in her support group. She refused, but not before Clark got a look at the sign-in sheet from the last meeting and was able to speed-read through it. Chloe refused to provide an official list, vowing to protect the privacy of her group, but Clark had seen enough to pass names along to the Martian Manhunter, his other-worldly friend who lost his powers helping Clark stay alive earlier this season and is now working as Detective John Jones of the Metropolis Police Department. The detective visits the members of the Isis support group and questions them, leading them to accuse Chloe of selling them out to the cops. She then confronts Clark because he’s the one who is responsible, but he turns around and asks Chloe to use her supercomputer mind to read lab results he snagged from the hospital that Davis was looking at. The results show that Davis’ skin was under the fingernails of all of the murder victims, not a good sign. At that exact moment, Davis is out on patrol with Jimmy Olsen, who is hell bent on catching the mystery murderer. The two respond to an emergency call at a shady building in the ghettos of Metropolis and Davis heads inside, where he is attacked by a mysterious shadow creature. Jimmy calls for help on the ambulance’s radio, a call that brings Clark speeding to the scene. The Man of Steel fends off the creature from attacking Davis and choking him to death, but it then attacks Jimmy behind a dumpster. Clark thinks fast, uses his X-ray vision to see what’s going on and hurls a spare tire at the phantom, knocking it out and saving Jimmy. Clark goes to help Jimmy and finds the attacker as well, who turns out to be one of the members of Chloe’s group, just as Clark suspected. But life isn’t all bad for this bad guy, as when he is in police custody, one of Tess Mercer’s flunkies comes and offers him the chance to join the group of meteor-powered bad guys Mercer is assembling as the new CEO of LuthorCorp. It appears that the offer is accepted, adding another enemy to the anti-Justice League. As for the good guys, Clark and Chloe make amends, but Chloe and Davis have a problem when it becomes clear that he wants more from her than friendship. She wisely decides that the two of them need to not see much of each other for the time being, leaving Davis behind at the café where they met up. And that, amigos, is how things ended this week, so until next time….
- This is one of those situations where you wait so long for something that builds up so much hype that it can’t possibly live up to expectations….or can it? For more a freaking decade, we’ve been hearing rumblings about Guns N’ Roses’ amazing new album, Chinese Democracy. But because its members are all alcoholics, drug addicts and/or a-holes who can’t co-exist with one another, the album’s release has been delayed time and again. Well, we’ve finally gotten a look at the album, at least the first single, “Chinese Democracy,” released this week. It’s the group’s first official single since “Oh My God” in 1999, and obviously the title track of their first album of original material since Use Your Illusion I and II in 1991. You can listen to the track here and judge for yourself whether it lives up to the hype. I will warn you that the first minute of the nearly five-minute track is basically sound effects designed to warm things up, and it isn’t until a minute and a half in, that you get a patented Axl Rose scream. The refrain is decent at best, but it’s not the amazing payoff that the song seems to be building up to. At present, the track isn’t yet available for official download (like that’s going to stop anyone), having only been released to radio with mixed reactions. But I guess that when you’ve waited this long for something, it is virtually impossible for it to live up to expectations, so just be glad that if nothing else, we can finally stop hearing all the postulating about when this album is going to happen…..
- Now this is getting good. Weeks after being arrested on charges that he took a minor across state lines for sex, evangelist/pedophile Tony Alamo’s prosecution is really getting interesting. and by interesting, I mean sick, perverted and pretty darn freaky. A federal magistrate in Little Rock, Ark. called Alamo a flight risk Wednesday and ordered the evangelist held without bail until his. This ruling came after Alamo's former followers testified at a hearing that they were often beaten at his instructions and that Alamo practiced polygamy with several females, including a 9-year-old girl. That is just disturbing on a lot of levels, and I’m not even talking about ordering his followers to be beaten. Never thought I would see the day when someone would order people to be beaten down and it would be the least offensive thing that person was charged with, but the polygamy that included a 9-year-old girl is just stomach-churning awful. How do you even get to the point where you find enjoyment in that sort of disgusting behavior? Thankfully, U.S. Magistrate Judge Barry Bryant noted that Alamo is charged with a violent crime, which is why he won't be allowed bail. HAlso factoring into Bryant’s decision is the fact that Alamo fled a California child-abuse charge in 1989 and was arrested two years later in Tampa, Florida, living under an assumed name. Thus, it makes sense that he would be considered a flight risk, especially given that he now controls businesses and ministry locations in several states. “There is serious risk (Alamo) will flee or fail to appear,” Bryant said. So it hasn’t been a banner month for Alamo, beginning when he was arrested five days after a September 20 police raid on the Tony Alamo Christian Ministries compound in the southwest Arkansas town of Fouke. Things didn’t get better when witness Jael Sprinkle testified that she was taken as Alamo's wife at age 17 and that Alamo had five other wives at the time, one of which was t a 9-year-old girl. That is just jacked up but not totally surprising when you consider that Alamo is an advocate of allowing girls to marry when they reach puberty. But hey, what’s statutory rape without some straight-up physical violence too? There was plenty of that, with
Sprinkle saying that she, her parents and others were beaten, one of whom was a 12-year-old boy was paddled to the point of bleeding. Was Sprinkle done? Heck no. She went on to allege that included in Alamo's control over people in his organization was the fact that even inconsequential expenses such as toilet paper and toothpaste had to be approved by him and him alone. This just sounds….yikes. It sounds like a very violent, perverted cult and one I am glad to see being broken down and hopefully dismantled with its megalomaniacal, disgusting leader heading to prison…..
- Boy, the season really came off the tracks quickly for the East Carolina football team, didn’t it? It doesn’t seem like that long ago that the Pirates fired out of the gate 2-0 with wins over then-Top 25 teams West Virginia and Virginia Tech. They were the early season darlings of college football, looking ahead to an underwhelming Conference USA schedule that could give them a chance to go undefeated….and then it all came undone. The team has now lost 3 of 4 and sits at 4-3, plus its starting running back has decided that the middle of the season is a great time to go Animal House at an off-campus party. East Carolina running back Jonathan Williams finds himself facing new charges after two people said he hit them with a beer bottle outside a Greenville apartment complex last weekend. But hey, at least Williams turned himself in to Greenville police Tuesday evening at Pitt County Detention Center, that has to count for something, right? Maybe, but it didn’t prevent him from being arrested and charged on two misdemeanor counts of assault with a deadly weapon. Something about this gives me the sneaking suspicion that maybe, just maybe, my man J. Williams is not learning his lesson about criminal behavior. Why, you ask? Perhaps it’s because less than a month ago, he was arrested and charged with resisting a public officer for a separate incident. Nothing like stacking up arrests one on top of the other, bro. The East Carolina athletic department doesn’t seem enthralled with Williams’ behavior either; they have suspended him indefinitely from the team until his legal matters are resolved. The two alleged victims in the case, Douglas Robert Edwards, 20, and Bailey Hattem, 19, both of Greenville, say they were attempting to go back into a party at the apartment complex early Sunday morning when four men confronted them. As the story goes, one of the men hit Edwards in the neck and Hattem in the arm with a beer bottle and one of the victims said he recognized Williams from his days playing football at J.H. Rose High School in Greenville. The incident followed a very similar one outside the same apartment on the same day, when. Tyler James Kelly, 20, of Washington, N.C., was grabbed by four men who struck him several times on the head with a beer bottle until the bottle broke. Look, I know I’m always the guy saying that if you want to be an elite college football program, you need your share of felons and scumbags on the team, but I didn’t mean that you need one guy racking up tons of arrests all by himself, as Williams is doing. Heck, dude was charged in April for driving while impaired and underage drinking, so this is three in a six-month span. My man, allow your teammates to help you out. You get popped for underage drinking and let one of them get arrested for resisting arrest while another hits guys over the head with beer bottles at parties. It’s all about teamwork, because the way you’re going about it right now isn’t helping anyone, it’s hurting them……
- Tonight’s episode of Smallville featured the most scenes of Clark Kent acting like an a-hole that I can remember in the history of the show. With a mysterious killer wreaking havoc around Metropolis, CK was busy playing good Samaritan and helping those in need, whether they were the intended victim of a major crime or a small one. However, his good deeds also placed him at a major attack at the Ace of Clubs, where he found chaos, people injured, crushed, bleeding and unconscious. Under some of the rubble was Davis Bloom, a.k.a. Doomsday, the paramedic with whom Chloe has become close over the past few episodes. Amazingly, a bloodied Davis refused medical care and went back to the hospital, where he showered up and was stunned to find that he didn’t have a single scratch on him. Coupled with his recent rash of blackouts and the string of similar murders ravaging Metropolis, Davis worried that he might be the one behind the killings. He took his suspicions to Chloe, who refused to believe him and insisted that he couldn’t have done something this terrible. Clark wasn’t so trusting, confronting Davis later at the hospital and implying that because he had been the first paramedic on the scene at every one of the murders, maybe he was responsible. Davis shot back that Clark had also been spotted at every murder scene and had been there before anyone could have known about them. The two parted ways with tension in the air, but Clark wasn’t done throwing around accusations. He also went to Chloe’s revived Isis Foundation, where she had started support meetings for people with meteor powers. After one of the group’s members was among the murder victims and it happened the same night as one of their meetings, Clark stormed into the Isis office and demanded that Chloe give him the names of the people in her support group. She refused, but not before Clark got a look at the sign-in sheet from the last meeting and was able to speed-read through it. Chloe refused to provide an official list, vowing to protect the privacy of her group, but Clark had seen enough to pass names along to the Martian Manhunter, his other-worldly friend who lost his powers helping Clark stay alive earlier this season and is now working as Detective John Jones of the Metropolis Police Department. The detective visits the members of the Isis support group and questions them, leading them to accuse Chloe of selling them out to the cops. She then confronts Clark because he’s the one who is responsible, but he turns around and asks Chloe to use her supercomputer mind to read lab results he snagged from the hospital that Davis was looking at. The results show that Davis’ skin was under the fingernails of all of the murder victims, not a good sign. At that exact moment, Davis is out on patrol with Jimmy Olsen, who is hell bent on catching the mystery murderer. The two respond to an emergency call at a shady building in the ghettos of Metropolis and Davis heads inside, where he is attacked by a mysterious shadow creature. Jimmy calls for help on the ambulance’s radio, a call that brings Clark speeding to the scene. The Man of Steel fends off the creature from attacking Davis and choking him to death, but it then attacks Jimmy behind a dumpster. Clark thinks fast, uses his X-ray vision to see what’s going on and hurls a spare tire at the phantom, knocking it out and saving Jimmy. Clark goes to help Jimmy and finds the attacker as well, who turns out to be one of the members of Chloe’s group, just as Clark suspected. But life isn’t all bad for this bad guy, as when he is in police custody, one of Tess Mercer’s flunkies comes and offers him the chance to join the group of meteor-powered bad guys Mercer is assembling as the new CEO of LuthorCorp. It appears that the offer is accepted, adding another enemy to the anti-Justice League. As for the good guys, Clark and Chloe make amends, but Chloe and Davis have a problem when it becomes clear that he wants more from her than friendship. She wisely decides that the two of them need to not see much of each other for the time being, leaving Davis behind at the café where they met up. And that, amigos, is how things ended this week, so until next time….
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
A pickpocketing granny, last night's Greek and a travel advisory just for you
- Not a stellar season for network TV so far, with CBS the only one of the top five networks with more prime-time viewers last week than it had for the same week a year before. It’s been a rout so far for CBS, which is ironically the one network that I don’t watch a single show on, on account of all of their scripted, non-Survivor and Amazing Race programming absolutely sucking. Even so, ten of the nation's 20 most-watched prime-time shows were on CBS, according to Nielsen Media Research. Leading the way, the new E.R., i.e. a program that has clearly run its course and as years past when it should be canceled yet just won't die: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation. Also, for inexplicable reason, CBS is also doing well with its new Simon Baker series, “The Mentalist,” which was Nielsen's No. 5 show last week. Having tuned in for less than one episode and being so underwhelemd I wrote an angry email to CBS demanding a refund of my time, I don’t get that either. One of the networks struggling the worst is ABC, which is clearly lagging while it waits for the January return of its lone good show, Lost. ABC's only bright spot was "Samantha Who?," the Christina Applegate-centric series that had 11.4 million viewers. While I do wish Applegate well as she battles breast cancer, that doesn’t mean her show is any good, because it isn’t. It was the second most-popular sitcom on TV, behind CBS' "Two and a Half Men." Fox isn’t doing well either, but since 24 is just around the corner, things will be looking up soon. However, this past week the network had a startling 5 million fewer viewers this year than the same week a year ago. And what was at the heart of the problem? Baseball, namely the network's coverage of the National League Championship Series between Philadelphia and Los Angeles, which laid a serious egg (guess maybe we would have been better off with the Chicago Cubs in the NLCS, eh?). The deciding fifth game of the NLCS had barely more than 8 million viewers.
As for NBC, which has a stellar show in Heroes and a solid on in Chuck, was actually led by “Saturday Night Live” with Sarah Palin, which had an estimated 14 million viewers. But that you can chalk up to the curiousity factor of a major political candidate appearing, not to the actual appeal of SNL itself. The totals for the week were: CBS averaging 11.5 million viewers (7.3 rating, 12 share), ABC averaging 9.2 million (5.9, 10), NBC averaging 7.2 million (4.6, 7), Fox averaging 6.7 million (4.2, 7) and the lowly CW (with it’s schedule filled with about a dozen variations of the same damn concept, namely spoiled rich kids and their fake problems) averaging 2.1 million (1.4, 2). So it’s good to see a total ass hat like CW exec Dawn Ostroff (you still suck for canceling Gilmore Girls, Everwood AND Veronica Mars, you tool!) in dead last. Here are your top shows, proving irrefutably that actual quality of a show has nothing to do with its ratings numbers:
1. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 19.27 million viewers.
2. "NCIS," CBS, 18.04 million viewers.
3. "Dancing with the Stars," ABC, 17.76 million viewers.
4. "Desperate Housewives," ABC, 15.48 million viewers.
5. "The Mentalist," CBS, 14.94 million viewers.
6. "Dancing with the Stars Results," ABC, 14.82 million viewers.
7. "Grey's Anatomy," ABC, 14.8 million viewers.
8. "Two and a Half Men," CBS, 14.72 million viewers.
9. "60 Minutes," CBS, 14.53 million viewers.
10. "House," Fox, 13.27 million viewers.
I hope you’re ashamed of yourself, America, I know I am…..
- So apparently his first-round TKO by an obscure, unknown MMA fighter wasn’t just the death of Kimbo Slice’s career, it also helped expedite the demise of the brand he was fighthing for. After sSilce was decimated by Seth Petruzelli during a bout televisted Oct. 4 on CBS as part of its partnership with EliteXC mixed martial arts, observers declared the Slice’s career had all but ended and that he was now little more than a punch line. Now comes news that the parent company of EliteXC is closing its doors for good. T.J. Thompson, an executive at ProElite Inc., says he was informed that the company would close for good this week and would file for bankruptcy protection. The company is shutting down effective immediately, meaning that an EliteXC card scheduled for Nov. 8 in Reno, Nev., has been canceled and bouts on that night’s card, including Joey Villasenor fighting Robbie Lawler for the circuit's middleweight title, have been scrapped. But you haven’t heard the last of EliteXC - just not in a good way. The bout between Slice and Petruzelli is under investigation by the Florida State Athletic Commission following comments Petruzelli after the fight suggesting that he bribed to trade punches with Slice rather than employ a more technical game plan that would have easily defeated a raw, inexperienced fighter like Kimbo. A late push to save ProElite failed after Showtime Networks, which owns a 20 percent stake in ProElite, filed a notice with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission announcing its intention to enter negotiations to purchase the company outright. Those negotiations failed and now the company is kaput, which would be a problem if it hadn’t been the most amateur, second-rate MMA circuit around anyhow…..
- How do you manage to get arrested 37 times and convicted 30 times in your life? No, I’m not being rhetorical, I’m honestly wondering how that happens. You get arrested and convicted that many times, you shouldn’t be a free man or woman ever again and shouldn’t have a chance to get arrested again. Guess no one told that to Katherine Kelly, a 76-year-old New York pickpocket who has busted 37 times and convicted 30 times, yet was free enough to get caught pinching wallets at a NYC grocery store last week. Kelley was indicted yet again in a Manhattan Criminal Court Tuesday, a routine she should be very familiar with by this point. This latest run-in with the law comes after she was apprehended last Wednesday at a Fairway grocery store in New York City's Upper West Side after taking the wallet of an undercover sergeant. I’m surprised this didn’t happen at a doughnut shop, because no sooner did Kelly snatch the wallet than another police officer saw here lift it from a shopping cart and hide it under her bra. Two cops in such a small area and it’s not a doughnut shop? But I digress…..it’s just astonishing that someone’s grandma is out there averaging an arrest every two years of her life, even if you count her childhood. She has used numerous aliases over the years as well, so she’s not just a one-dimensional felon. Kelly was charged with grand larceny in the fourth degree and appeared before Judge Barry Kamins on Tuesday. Jack Ryan of the New York City Department of Probation says his department is infinitely familiar with Ms. Kelly. “We knew of her as far back as 1981,” he said. Her most recent stint in jail came when Kelly served six months for burglary. To top it off, at the time of last week's arrest, police had a warrant in her name for failing to report for probation. Look, I know this lady is a scumbag and all, but am I the only one who gets a laugh out of some 76-year-old woman, pick-pocketing and zeroing in on her 40th arrest? Didn’t think so…..
- Just a random travel thought on my part, not that I am a qualified tour guide or travel professional, but if you are reading this and you are an American, you may want to think twice about that trip you’re planning to Ecuador. Seems that going there means you run the risk of a brutal attack that could leave you fighting for you life. Such is the story of two Americans who suffered a brutal attack last week while on vacation in the Latin American nation. State Department spokesman Robert Wood confirmed yesterday that the U.S. Embassy in Ecuador had been informed that two Americans from Oregon were attacked in the city of Esmeraldas, on Ecuador's northern coast. Privacy laws prevented Wood from disclosing more, but according to two other two State Department officials, the man was stabbed more than 24 times and that his fiancée was beaten and raped. Thankfully, the couple has been evacuated to the United States for treatment, but you can’t help but think that their nightmare is just beginning. The two wrote a blog throughout their trip and in the most recent post, the woman wrote that her fiancé was in intensive care after three surgeries. How and why she would even want to write after what she and her fiancé have been through, I don’t know, but mad props for being so courageous. However, the message was not a good one. “I was informed by the head surgeon there is no certainty he will survive,” she wrote. Not exactly the trip you hope for, not after getting engaged, selling off all your possessions and embarking on a year-long trip. This is the kind of adventure most of us would love going on but not have the courage to try. Unfortunately, this couple seems to have been a bit too naïve about safety, posting that they occasionally hitchhiked and visited the homes of random strangers. At present, the State Department's Web site advises caution when traveling to the northern border region of Ecuador, including Esmeraldas, but that warning may need to be upgraded and written in bold, all-capital lettering. What with at least 10 U.S. citizens having been kidnapped and one killed near Ecuador's border with Colombia since 1998, it may be a place we all want to avoid. Best wishes for a full recovery, both mentally and physically, for these two individuals…..
- The penultimate episode of Season 3 of Greek was a funny one, as most episodes have been this season. With Rusty on edge dealing with Kirk, a friend of his roommate Dale, arriving to make a mess of things in the final two weeks of the semester, there were plenty of laughs. Kirk is a childhood friend of Dale’s that Dale has chosen to be his roommate next school year when Rusty will be moving into the Kappa Tau house to live. Looking to fill his roommate void, Dale turns to Kirk, who left Bob Jones University (yes, the uber-strict religious college in South Carolina) and is coming to Cyprus Rhodes. Kirk arrives and shows his weirdness immediately by revealing a predilection for hiding in bizarre places (under beds, in clothes hampers, etc.) and jumping out to surprise people. Added to that, it turns out that Kirk isn’t the purity-centric, straight-edged, conservative guy Dale believes him to be. Actually, Kirk was kicked out of Bob Jones for being a pot head and alcoholic. Kirk even tries to get Rusty to score him some pot, an offer Rusty declines. In the end, Rusty decides to confront Dale with the truth about his friend. Dale refuses to believe Rusty until he and Kirk show up at a Kappa Tau ‘70s party and Kirk is acting like a crazy, drugged-out lunatic and Dale finds a flask of tequila in Kirk’s discarded jacket. Finding the flask leads Rusty, Dale and Kirk to all get popped by the campus police for possession of an open container, sending them to jail for a few hours. Rusty and Dale are released, but Kirk is left behind - with a warning from Rusty, that he is throwing away a friendship with a great guy in Dale. That ends the night for Rusty, because back at the Kappa Tau house, Cappie is finding life equally tough as he tries to set up a threesome in his bedroom. This comes in response to Wade and Beaver giving him a hard-time about his romantic slump, saying that people are calling him a “serial monogamist.” Cappie aims to blow that thinking out the water with a threesome, but the quest earns him plenty of slaps to the face and zero takers - until he finds old friend and easy hook-up Lisa Lawson. She agrees to the threesome but bails when the other girl turns out to be a girl whose boyfriend she stole last semester. Undeterred, Cappie finds another girl to take part and she’s about to get her frined to join in when both disappear and end up hooking up with another KT brother instead. Cappie ends up waking up in the morning with Wade and Beaver in his bed, both of them displaced by the threesome in the other room. The action at the Zeta Beta Zeta house is less sexual and more political, with new president Ashleigh struggling in her new role and BFF Casey still jealous and overbearing in trying to “help” out her pal. The big issue is which fraternity the ZBZ’s will pair with for rush week next semester. The sisters want Omega Chi for rush “pref,” something ex-prez Frannie promises to make happen by talking to her boyfriend and Omega Chi president Evan Chambers. Evan agrees to hold off on naming the Omega Chi’s pref choice until Asleigh caves in and asks for Frannie’s help on the matter, thus giving power in the house back to Frannie even if she isn’t president. So despite hosting a party at Dobler’s with a boxing pay-per-view for the Omega Chi’s, Ashleigh is unable to secure the invite. She caves and asks for Frannie’s help, but when the Omega Chi’s finally do extend the invite, something odd happens. Drawing inspiration from a talk with her friend and the show’s resident gay dude Calvin, Ashleigh turns to Angelina Jolie for inspiration and decides to do her own thing even if it’s unpopular. She accepts an offer for rush pref from the Lambda Sig’s and turns down Omega Chi, a choice her sisters support by a narrow vote. All of these things lead up to the end of the episode where the pledges from the show’s various frats and sororities are snatched from their beds in the middle of the night for the beginning of Hell Week, which just happens to coincide with the season finale, amazing how that happens. So until then…….
As for NBC, which has a stellar show in Heroes and a solid on in Chuck, was actually led by “Saturday Night Live” with Sarah Palin, which had an estimated 14 million viewers. But that you can chalk up to the curiousity factor of a major political candidate appearing, not to the actual appeal of SNL itself. The totals for the week were: CBS averaging 11.5 million viewers (7.3 rating, 12 share), ABC averaging 9.2 million (5.9, 10), NBC averaging 7.2 million (4.6, 7), Fox averaging 6.7 million (4.2, 7) and the lowly CW (with it’s schedule filled with about a dozen variations of the same damn concept, namely spoiled rich kids and their fake problems) averaging 2.1 million (1.4, 2). So it’s good to see a total ass hat like CW exec Dawn Ostroff (you still suck for canceling Gilmore Girls, Everwood AND Veronica Mars, you tool!) in dead last. Here are your top shows, proving irrefutably that actual quality of a show has nothing to do with its ratings numbers:
1. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 19.27 million viewers.
2. "NCIS," CBS, 18.04 million viewers.
3. "Dancing with the Stars," ABC, 17.76 million viewers.
4. "Desperate Housewives," ABC, 15.48 million viewers.
5. "The Mentalist," CBS, 14.94 million viewers.
6. "Dancing with the Stars Results," ABC, 14.82 million viewers.
7. "Grey's Anatomy," ABC, 14.8 million viewers.
8. "Two and a Half Men," CBS, 14.72 million viewers.
9. "60 Minutes," CBS, 14.53 million viewers.
10. "House," Fox, 13.27 million viewers.
I hope you’re ashamed of yourself, America, I know I am…..
- So apparently his first-round TKO by an obscure, unknown MMA fighter wasn’t just the death of Kimbo Slice’s career, it also helped expedite the demise of the brand he was fighthing for. After sSilce was decimated by Seth Petruzelli during a bout televisted Oct. 4 on CBS as part of its partnership with EliteXC mixed martial arts, observers declared the Slice’s career had all but ended and that he was now little more than a punch line. Now comes news that the parent company of EliteXC is closing its doors for good. T.J. Thompson, an executive at ProElite Inc., says he was informed that the company would close for good this week and would file for bankruptcy protection. The company is shutting down effective immediately, meaning that an EliteXC card scheduled for Nov. 8 in Reno, Nev., has been canceled and bouts on that night’s card, including Joey Villasenor fighting Robbie Lawler for the circuit's middleweight title, have been scrapped. But you haven’t heard the last of EliteXC - just not in a good way. The bout between Slice and Petruzelli is under investigation by the Florida State Athletic Commission following comments Petruzelli after the fight suggesting that he bribed to trade punches with Slice rather than employ a more technical game plan that would have easily defeated a raw, inexperienced fighter like Kimbo. A late push to save ProElite failed after Showtime Networks, which owns a 20 percent stake in ProElite, filed a notice with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission announcing its intention to enter negotiations to purchase the company outright. Those negotiations failed and now the company is kaput, which would be a problem if it hadn’t been the most amateur, second-rate MMA circuit around anyhow…..
- How do you manage to get arrested 37 times and convicted 30 times in your life? No, I’m not being rhetorical, I’m honestly wondering how that happens. You get arrested and convicted that many times, you shouldn’t be a free man or woman ever again and shouldn’t have a chance to get arrested again. Guess no one told that to Katherine Kelly, a 76-year-old New York pickpocket who has busted 37 times and convicted 30 times, yet was free enough to get caught pinching wallets at a NYC grocery store last week. Kelley was indicted yet again in a Manhattan Criminal Court Tuesday, a routine she should be very familiar with by this point. This latest run-in with the law comes after she was apprehended last Wednesday at a Fairway grocery store in New York City's Upper West Side after taking the wallet of an undercover sergeant. I’m surprised this didn’t happen at a doughnut shop, because no sooner did Kelly snatch the wallet than another police officer saw here lift it from a shopping cart and hide it under her bra. Two cops in such a small area and it’s not a doughnut shop? But I digress…..it’s just astonishing that someone’s grandma is out there averaging an arrest every two years of her life, even if you count her childhood. She has used numerous aliases over the years as well, so she’s not just a one-dimensional felon. Kelly was charged with grand larceny in the fourth degree and appeared before Judge Barry Kamins on Tuesday. Jack Ryan of the New York City Department of Probation says his department is infinitely familiar with Ms. Kelly. “We knew of her as far back as 1981,” he said. Her most recent stint in jail came when Kelly served six months for burglary. To top it off, at the time of last week's arrest, police had a warrant in her name for failing to report for probation. Look, I know this lady is a scumbag and all, but am I the only one who gets a laugh out of some 76-year-old woman, pick-pocketing and zeroing in on her 40th arrest? Didn’t think so…..
- Just a random travel thought on my part, not that I am a qualified tour guide or travel professional, but if you are reading this and you are an American, you may want to think twice about that trip you’re planning to Ecuador. Seems that going there means you run the risk of a brutal attack that could leave you fighting for you life. Such is the story of two Americans who suffered a brutal attack last week while on vacation in the Latin American nation. State Department spokesman Robert Wood confirmed yesterday that the U.S. Embassy in Ecuador had been informed that two Americans from Oregon were attacked in the city of Esmeraldas, on Ecuador's northern coast. Privacy laws prevented Wood from disclosing more, but according to two other two State Department officials, the man was stabbed more than 24 times and that his fiancée was beaten and raped. Thankfully, the couple has been evacuated to the United States for treatment, but you can’t help but think that their nightmare is just beginning. The two wrote a blog throughout their trip and in the most recent post, the woman wrote that her fiancé was in intensive care after three surgeries. How and why she would even want to write after what she and her fiancé have been through, I don’t know, but mad props for being so courageous. However, the message was not a good one. “I was informed by the head surgeon there is no certainty he will survive,” she wrote. Not exactly the trip you hope for, not after getting engaged, selling off all your possessions and embarking on a year-long trip. This is the kind of adventure most of us would love going on but not have the courage to try. Unfortunately, this couple seems to have been a bit too naïve about safety, posting that they occasionally hitchhiked and visited the homes of random strangers. At present, the State Department's Web site advises caution when traveling to the northern border region of Ecuador, including Esmeraldas, but that warning may need to be upgraded and written in bold, all-capital lettering. What with at least 10 U.S. citizens having been kidnapped and one killed near Ecuador's border with Colombia since 1998, it may be a place we all want to avoid. Best wishes for a full recovery, both mentally and physically, for these two individuals…..
- The penultimate episode of Season 3 of Greek was a funny one, as most episodes have been this season. With Rusty on edge dealing with Kirk, a friend of his roommate Dale, arriving to make a mess of things in the final two weeks of the semester, there were plenty of laughs. Kirk is a childhood friend of Dale’s that Dale has chosen to be his roommate next school year when Rusty will be moving into the Kappa Tau house to live. Looking to fill his roommate void, Dale turns to Kirk, who left Bob Jones University (yes, the uber-strict religious college in South Carolina) and is coming to Cyprus Rhodes. Kirk arrives and shows his weirdness immediately by revealing a predilection for hiding in bizarre places (under beds, in clothes hampers, etc.) and jumping out to surprise people. Added to that, it turns out that Kirk isn’t the purity-centric, straight-edged, conservative guy Dale believes him to be. Actually, Kirk was kicked out of Bob Jones for being a pot head and alcoholic. Kirk even tries to get Rusty to score him some pot, an offer Rusty declines. In the end, Rusty decides to confront Dale with the truth about his friend. Dale refuses to believe Rusty until he and Kirk show up at a Kappa Tau ‘70s party and Kirk is acting like a crazy, drugged-out lunatic and Dale finds a flask of tequila in Kirk’s discarded jacket. Finding the flask leads Rusty, Dale and Kirk to all get popped by the campus police for possession of an open container, sending them to jail for a few hours. Rusty and Dale are released, but Kirk is left behind - with a warning from Rusty, that he is throwing away a friendship with a great guy in Dale. That ends the night for Rusty, because back at the Kappa Tau house, Cappie is finding life equally tough as he tries to set up a threesome in his bedroom. This comes in response to Wade and Beaver giving him a hard-time about his romantic slump, saying that people are calling him a “serial monogamist.” Cappie aims to blow that thinking out the water with a threesome, but the quest earns him plenty of slaps to the face and zero takers - until he finds old friend and easy hook-up Lisa Lawson. She agrees to the threesome but bails when the other girl turns out to be a girl whose boyfriend she stole last semester. Undeterred, Cappie finds another girl to take part and she’s about to get her frined to join in when both disappear and end up hooking up with another KT brother instead. Cappie ends up waking up in the morning with Wade and Beaver in his bed, both of them displaced by the threesome in the other room. The action at the Zeta Beta Zeta house is less sexual and more political, with new president Ashleigh struggling in her new role and BFF Casey still jealous and overbearing in trying to “help” out her pal. The big issue is which fraternity the ZBZ’s will pair with for rush week next semester. The sisters want Omega Chi for rush “pref,” something ex-prez Frannie promises to make happen by talking to her boyfriend and Omega Chi president Evan Chambers. Evan agrees to hold off on naming the Omega Chi’s pref choice until Asleigh caves in and asks for Frannie’s help on the matter, thus giving power in the house back to Frannie even if she isn’t president. So despite hosting a party at Dobler’s with a boxing pay-per-view for the Omega Chi’s, Ashleigh is unable to secure the invite. She caves and asks for Frannie’s help, but when the Omega Chi’s finally do extend the invite, something odd happens. Drawing inspiration from a talk with her friend and the show’s resident gay dude Calvin, Ashleigh turns to Angelina Jolie for inspiration and decides to do her own thing even if it’s unpopular. She accepts an offer for rush pref from the Lambda Sig’s and turns down Omega Chi, a choice her sisters support by a narrow vote. All of these things lead up to the end of the episode where the pledges from the show’s various frats and sororities are snatched from their beds in the middle of the night for the beginning of Hell Week, which just happens to coincide with the season finale, amazing how that happens. So until then…….
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Reviewing last night's Heroes, a man eats a 20+ pound burger and fearmongering on the campaign trail, good times.....
- Here is a man you don’t want to see coming through the door at your holiday barbecue or all-you-can-eat buffet. Brad Sciullo of Clearfield, Pennsylvania has completed a Herculean culinary task that might even dwarf what legendary American eating champion Joey Chestnut. In a mere four hours and 39 minutes, Sciullo, a 5-foot-11, 180-pound western Pennsylvania chef, became the first person to eat a ginormous hunk of food called the Beer Barrel Belly Bruiser: a 15-pound burger with toppings and a bun that bring the total weight to 20.2 pounds. The mammoth mountain of meat is the creation of Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, about 100 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. Sciullo, admitted that even he was surprised to finish the sandwich.
“About three hours into it, things got tough,” he said. So what inspires a man to consume tens of thousands of calories in a gluttonous gorging for the ages? “I wanted to see if I could,” Sciullo stated matter-of-factly. Sorry my man, but that isn’t good enough, not when you eat a 15-pound burger topped with a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish. Pub owner Dennis Liegey said that because Sciullo was able to complete the challenge within the under-five-hour time limit, he won $400, three T-shirts and a certificate. What, no complimentary stomach pumping? No lifetime supply of antacids? It is an impressive feat, to be sure, but let’s just say I’m glad I wasn’t there to witness it, because I would have been equal parts terrified, amazed, disgusted and nauseated…..
- Now here’s an interesting campaign technique: falsely claiming that the opposing party “hates real Americans.” North Carolina Rep. Robin Hayes, a five-term Republican who has been heavily targeted by Democrats this election cycle, has gone to that anti-American blast as he is locked in a tight re-election race that has many predicting his ouster from Congress. He has admitted to telling a crowd of John McCain supporters that “liberals hate real Americans,” a not-so-subtle poke at Democrats that also has the nice side benefit of sucking up to those Hayes is courting by implying that they are “real Americans.” In true politician form, Hayes initially denied making the remarks, but finally ‘fessed up to the fact that he did say them Monday afternoon. “After reading it, there is no doubt that it came out completely the wrong way,” Hayes said. “I actually was trying to work to keep the crowd as respectful as possible, so this is definitely not what I intended.” You were trying to be respectful? How, by alleging that your opponents hate their country? Why not go all the way and call them Communists or terrorists? It doesn’t matter that the comments came at a McCain rally in Concord, North Carolina. The setting is irrelevant, just as it would be any time you say that, “Liberals hate real Americans that work and achieve and believe in God.” So not only do you call your opponents anti-American and anti-hard work, they are also anti-God? Dude, you are a colossal douche bag, period. So I now find myself with a vested rooting interest in a congressional race that is hundreds of miles and several states from where I live. I will be rooting for Hayes' opponent in North Carolina’s 8th district, just as I will be rooting for everyone other than that senile old bastard McCain in the presidential election….
- The year may change, the charges may vary, but the bottom line remains the same: juries in Southern California just can’t bring themselves to convict famous people of crimes they are almost certainly guilty of. It was true for (probable, almost assured) double murderer O.J. Simpson, it was true for killer Robert Blake, it was true for killer/music producer Phil Specter, and now it’s true - at least for the time being - for alleged unlicensed driver and confirmed atrocious singer/entertainer Britney Spears. A mistrial was declared in Britney Spears' driving-without-a-license case Tuesday because the jury in the case couldn’t reach a unanimous decision, with the final vote being 10-2 in favor of acquittal. The decision spares the pop skank sparing a criminal record for now because the jury's deadlock could not be broken, not even after Los Angeles Superior Court Judge James Steele permitted prosecution and defense attorneys to make additional closing arguments Tuesday morning. Can’t say I am surprised that Spears almost got off, what with the tendency of SoCal jurors to 1) be morons, 2) love famous people, and 3) get exponentially dumber when gathered in a room with 11 of their peers. This group of 12 IQ-deprived tools y struggled with the case since resuming deliberations Monday, voting five times before telling the judge they were hopelessly deadlocked. not surprisingly, deliberations lasted longer than the case itself, which featured only three witnesses and one day's worth of testimony and arguments. At the heart of the case is whether or not Spears’ Louisiana driver’s license made her a legal California driver when she was stopped in August 2007.
Spears never appeared during the trial. She is in the midst of a comeback, recently earning three MTV Video Music Awards. As her trial started last week, Billboard announced that her new single, "Womanizer," was No. 1 on its charts.
- Well lookee here, the alleged agreement between the Iraqi and U.S. governments to get our troops the hell out of a place they never should have been has hit a snag. Apparently, the Iraqi government has unanimously agreed that a security pact with the United States lacks “some necessary amendments,” words proclaimed by government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh today. The particulars of the status-of-forces agreement were recently agreed upon by negotiators and would set the terms for U.S. troops in Iraq after the United Nations mandate on their presence expires at the end of this year. However, the agreement is now under being reviewed by the U.S. and Iraqi governments for final approval and in the Iraqi Cabinet’s regular session today, Al-Dabbagh asked the ministers to submit their amendments so they can be included in the negotiations with the Americans. Unfortunately for us, Al-Dabbagh didn’t say which parts of the agreement the ministers object to, but you knew they would have issues with something. Reaching this accord couldn’t be simple; it couldn’t be anything remotely resembling simple. One senior U.S. official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said parts of the agreement could be reopened because of Iraqi objections to the language on jurisdiction for U.S. troops, the troop pullout dates and the conditions for troop pullout. However, our “esteemed” Defense Secretary Bob Gates said there was "great reluctance" to make any more changes to the agreement. At present, the agreement calls for U.S. combat troops to be out of Iraqi cities and villages by July 30, 2009, and out of the country entirely by December 31, 2011. The Iraqis can alter that and ask U.S. troops to stay longer if they wish for training and support purposes, and it also allows for an earlier withdrawal by agreement of both parties. But don’t blame the Iraqis for not accepting this agreement as is, because they didn’t have a choice - just ask them. “We may have no other choice but to renegotiate parts of this document,” one of their officials said Monday. “It will depend on how much pressure [Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri] al-Maliki is willing to put on his Shia brethren.” So just when you thought we might be kinda, sorta close to finally figuring out what has been a running debacle for six-plus years, they pull us back in…..
- Last night’s episode of Heroes was decidedly Pinehearst-centric and Petrelli-centric. Most specifically, it hinged on the return of Arthur Petrelli, father of Peter and Nathan and husband of Angela. Arthur allegedly died back in Season 1, but as we leared last week, he’s still around. However, he remained in a comatose state, bedridden inside the Pinehearst Industries building….until he met with Adam Monroe, the immortal smart aleck who Hiro Nakamura met last season in the year 1671 and dug up from being buried alive two weeks ago. Adam was captured at the Angry Skunk bar last week while with Hiro and this week was taken by bad guy Knox to see Arthur. A frantic Adam pleaded for his life, but in a telepathic conversation only he could hear, his request was denied and Arthur grabbed him and sucked the life from him. Adam withered away to a pile of dust, while Arthur returned to life and said it felt good to be back. While he made his way back to life, Claire Bennet was facing a dangerous situation that could have led to the death of her birth mother and adoptive mother. Claire went on a mission to rescue her birth mother Meredith, who last week went to see Eric Doyle, a fat, flabby man with the power to control people like puppets. At the puppet theater Doyle runs, Claire and her adoptive mother Sandra found Meredith being held captive and tried to rescue her. But when their plan to distract Doyle failed, he seized control of them as well and forced the three women to play a game of Russian roulette. Claire was forced to go first and Doyle used his power to compel her to pull the trigger on her adoptive mother. The gun didn’t go off, but it was Sandra’s turn next. Doyle forced her to pull the trigger on Claire, not knowing it was a waste of time because Claire a) can’t feel pain and b) can heal from any wound. Once Doyle’s back is turned, Claire gets back up from being shot and hits him over the head, knocking him out cold. Claire’s dad and Company hack H.R.G. shows up and takes Doyle into custody, ending the nightmare for his family. Speaking of families, Matt Parkman is trying to get started on his, following his spirit guide (the turtle he found while stranded in Africa) and coming back to JFK airport in New York, where Daphne Millbrook is waiting for him. She’s there to recruit him for Pinehearst and at the airport, as she’s about to bail out, Parkman’s father Maury, who has the same power to control minds that his son has, conjures up a vision of Linderman to talk Daphne into continuing her work. She agrees under coercion and meets Parkman as he descends the stairs to the main concourse, ironically as he is arriving to try and find her because she’s the woman he saw during his vision of the future while in Africa with future-painter Usutu (or as Hiro Nakamura calls him, Mr. African Isaac, too funny). Matt and Daphne talk and while Matt isn’t interested in Pinehearst, he tells Daphne that in the future, they are soulmates and destined to be together. She is taken aback that he knows so much about her and for now, isn’t into a relationship, but in the future, it happens somehow so wait and see on that. Back in Africa, Hiro and pal Ando are on a mission. After apparently stabbing Ando last week to earn a spot with Pinehearst, it was revealed this week that Hiro actually traveled back in time, took a collapsible sword and packets of fake blood and fake-stabbed Ando to keep his friend alive. Once he was in good with Pinehearst and given the assignment to bring Usutu back from Africa, Ando could stop playing dead and accompany his friend. In Africa, the pair had a tough time sneaking up on Usutu because he can see the future and knew they were coming. Despite traveling back in time to before he was hit with a shovel from behind by Usutu during his first attempt, Hiro couldn’t find a way to capture Usutu. Finally, Hiro and Ando agreed to go old school, hiding behind a rock and ambusing their prey after a long wait. That didn’t exactly work, but this time Hiro didn’t get knocked out and Usutu was willing to talk. He said Hiro could either take him to Pinehearst or he could go after the four villains in a painting on the wall of Usutu’s hut - Arthur and Peter Petrelli, Knox and Flint. The four are painted around the Pinehearst logo, which is an image of a double helix representing the very formula that can give ordinary people super powers and which was stolen from Hiro this season. Artuher Petrelli is willing to go a long way to accomplish his mission, though, and that includes putting his wife into a coma to stop her from being able to see the future and stop him. Peter and his brother (yes, brother as we found out two weeks ago) Sylar go to visit her after Daphne visits Level 5 and invites Sylar to join Pinehearst. He declines, but Peter reads Angela’s mind, sees Pinehearst’s logo and goes to the facility to get some answers. Unfortunately, he’s met by his father and as a shocked Peter tries to process it all, his father hugs him and in the process sucks all of Peter’s powers from his body. Peter is left powerless and ordinary for now, but his big brother Nathan isn’t in a much better spot. Nathan and lady friend Tracy Strauss visit Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who is still growing and evolving into a repulsive insect-man after trying to create a formula to give himself powers, seeking to be cured from having their own powers. Mohinder gives them a shot he claims will make it easier to help identify their genetic markers and cure them, but it really poisons them and renders them unconscious so he can do whatever freaky things he does to people now, like put them in cocoons on the wall. However, Daphne arrives to recruit Mohinder and her presence rouses Tracy, who tries to trick Mohinder by acting like she wants to befriend him but instead using her power to freeze him, then free herself from her restraints and do the same for Nathan. The two are about to escape when Mohinder recovers and throws a piece of furniture across the room at them, telling them that their business isn’t finished yet. But the review of this week’s episode is, so until next time…….
“About three hours into it, things got tough,” he said. So what inspires a man to consume tens of thousands of calories in a gluttonous gorging for the ages? “I wanted to see if I could,” Sciullo stated matter-of-factly. Sorry my man, but that isn’t good enough, not when you eat a 15-pound burger topped with a bun, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, onions, mild banana peppers and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard and relish. Pub owner Dennis Liegey said that because Sciullo was able to complete the challenge within the under-five-hour time limit, he won $400, three T-shirts and a certificate. What, no complimentary stomach pumping? No lifetime supply of antacids? It is an impressive feat, to be sure, but let’s just say I’m glad I wasn’t there to witness it, because I would have been equal parts terrified, amazed, disgusted and nauseated…..
- Now here’s an interesting campaign technique: falsely claiming that the opposing party “hates real Americans.” North Carolina Rep. Robin Hayes, a five-term Republican who has been heavily targeted by Democrats this election cycle, has gone to that anti-American blast as he is locked in a tight re-election race that has many predicting his ouster from Congress. He has admitted to telling a crowd of John McCain supporters that “liberals hate real Americans,” a not-so-subtle poke at Democrats that also has the nice side benefit of sucking up to those Hayes is courting by implying that they are “real Americans.” In true politician form, Hayes initially denied making the remarks, but finally ‘fessed up to the fact that he did say them Monday afternoon. “After reading it, there is no doubt that it came out completely the wrong way,” Hayes said. “I actually was trying to work to keep the crowd as respectful as possible, so this is definitely not what I intended.” You were trying to be respectful? How, by alleging that your opponents hate their country? Why not go all the way and call them Communists or terrorists? It doesn’t matter that the comments came at a McCain rally in Concord, North Carolina. The setting is irrelevant, just as it would be any time you say that, “Liberals hate real Americans that work and achieve and believe in God.” So not only do you call your opponents anti-American and anti-hard work, they are also anti-God? Dude, you are a colossal douche bag, period. So I now find myself with a vested rooting interest in a congressional race that is hundreds of miles and several states from where I live. I will be rooting for Hayes' opponent in North Carolina’s 8th district, just as I will be rooting for everyone other than that senile old bastard McCain in the presidential election….
- The year may change, the charges may vary, but the bottom line remains the same: juries in Southern California just can’t bring themselves to convict famous people of crimes they are almost certainly guilty of. It was true for (probable, almost assured) double murderer O.J. Simpson, it was true for killer Robert Blake, it was true for killer/music producer Phil Specter, and now it’s true - at least for the time being - for alleged unlicensed driver and confirmed atrocious singer/entertainer Britney Spears. A mistrial was declared in Britney Spears' driving-without-a-license case Tuesday because the jury in the case couldn’t reach a unanimous decision, with the final vote being 10-2 in favor of acquittal. The decision spares the pop skank sparing a criminal record for now because the jury's deadlock could not be broken, not even after Los Angeles Superior Court Judge James Steele permitted prosecution and defense attorneys to make additional closing arguments Tuesday morning. Can’t say I am surprised that Spears almost got off, what with the tendency of SoCal jurors to 1) be morons, 2) love famous people, and 3) get exponentially dumber when gathered in a room with 11 of their peers. This group of 12 IQ-deprived tools y struggled with the case since resuming deliberations Monday, voting five times before telling the judge they were hopelessly deadlocked. not surprisingly, deliberations lasted longer than the case itself, which featured only three witnesses and one day's worth of testimony and arguments. At the heart of the case is whether or not Spears’ Louisiana driver’s license made her a legal California driver when she was stopped in August 2007.
Spears never appeared during the trial. She is in the midst of a comeback, recently earning three MTV Video Music Awards. As her trial started last week, Billboard announced that her new single, "Womanizer," was No. 1 on its charts.
- Well lookee here, the alleged agreement between the Iraqi and U.S. governments to get our troops the hell out of a place they never should have been has hit a snag. Apparently, the Iraqi government has unanimously agreed that a security pact with the United States lacks “some necessary amendments,” words proclaimed by government spokesman Ali al-Dabbagh today. The particulars of the status-of-forces agreement were recently agreed upon by negotiators and would set the terms for U.S. troops in Iraq after the United Nations mandate on their presence expires at the end of this year. However, the agreement is now under being reviewed by the U.S. and Iraqi governments for final approval and in the Iraqi Cabinet’s regular session today, Al-Dabbagh asked the ministers to submit their amendments so they can be included in the negotiations with the Americans. Unfortunately for us, Al-Dabbagh didn’t say which parts of the agreement the ministers object to, but you knew they would have issues with something. Reaching this accord couldn’t be simple; it couldn’t be anything remotely resembling simple. One senior U.S. official, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said parts of the agreement could be reopened because of Iraqi objections to the language on jurisdiction for U.S. troops, the troop pullout dates and the conditions for troop pullout. However, our “esteemed” Defense Secretary Bob Gates said there was "great reluctance" to make any more changes to the agreement. At present, the agreement calls for U.S. combat troops to be out of Iraqi cities and villages by July 30, 2009, and out of the country entirely by December 31, 2011. The Iraqis can alter that and ask U.S. troops to stay longer if they wish for training and support purposes, and it also allows for an earlier withdrawal by agreement of both parties. But don’t blame the Iraqis for not accepting this agreement as is, because they didn’t have a choice - just ask them. “We may have no other choice but to renegotiate parts of this document,” one of their officials said Monday. “It will depend on how much pressure [Iraqi Prime Minister Nuri] al-Maliki is willing to put on his Shia brethren.” So just when you thought we might be kinda, sorta close to finally figuring out what has been a running debacle for six-plus years, they pull us back in…..
- Last night’s episode of Heroes was decidedly Pinehearst-centric and Petrelli-centric. Most specifically, it hinged on the return of Arthur Petrelli, father of Peter and Nathan and husband of Angela. Arthur allegedly died back in Season 1, but as we leared last week, he’s still around. However, he remained in a comatose state, bedridden inside the Pinehearst Industries building….until he met with Adam Monroe, the immortal smart aleck who Hiro Nakamura met last season in the year 1671 and dug up from being buried alive two weeks ago. Adam was captured at the Angry Skunk bar last week while with Hiro and this week was taken by bad guy Knox to see Arthur. A frantic Adam pleaded for his life, but in a telepathic conversation only he could hear, his request was denied and Arthur grabbed him and sucked the life from him. Adam withered away to a pile of dust, while Arthur returned to life and said it felt good to be back. While he made his way back to life, Claire Bennet was facing a dangerous situation that could have led to the death of her birth mother and adoptive mother. Claire went on a mission to rescue her birth mother Meredith, who last week went to see Eric Doyle, a fat, flabby man with the power to control people like puppets. At the puppet theater Doyle runs, Claire and her adoptive mother Sandra found Meredith being held captive and tried to rescue her. But when their plan to distract Doyle failed, he seized control of them as well and forced the three women to play a game of Russian roulette. Claire was forced to go first and Doyle used his power to compel her to pull the trigger on her adoptive mother. The gun didn’t go off, but it was Sandra’s turn next. Doyle forced her to pull the trigger on Claire, not knowing it was a waste of time because Claire a) can’t feel pain and b) can heal from any wound. Once Doyle’s back is turned, Claire gets back up from being shot and hits him over the head, knocking him out cold. Claire’s dad and Company hack H.R.G. shows up and takes Doyle into custody, ending the nightmare for his family. Speaking of families, Matt Parkman is trying to get started on his, following his spirit guide (the turtle he found while stranded in Africa) and coming back to JFK airport in New York, where Daphne Millbrook is waiting for him. She’s there to recruit him for Pinehearst and at the airport, as she’s about to bail out, Parkman’s father Maury, who has the same power to control minds that his son has, conjures up a vision of Linderman to talk Daphne into continuing her work. She agrees under coercion and meets Parkman as he descends the stairs to the main concourse, ironically as he is arriving to try and find her because she’s the woman he saw during his vision of the future while in Africa with future-painter Usutu (or as Hiro Nakamura calls him, Mr. African Isaac, too funny). Matt and Daphne talk and while Matt isn’t interested in Pinehearst, he tells Daphne that in the future, they are soulmates and destined to be together. She is taken aback that he knows so much about her and for now, isn’t into a relationship, but in the future, it happens somehow so wait and see on that. Back in Africa, Hiro and pal Ando are on a mission. After apparently stabbing Ando last week to earn a spot with Pinehearst, it was revealed this week that Hiro actually traveled back in time, took a collapsible sword and packets of fake blood and fake-stabbed Ando to keep his friend alive. Once he was in good with Pinehearst and given the assignment to bring Usutu back from Africa, Ando could stop playing dead and accompany his friend. In Africa, the pair had a tough time sneaking up on Usutu because he can see the future and knew they were coming. Despite traveling back in time to before he was hit with a shovel from behind by Usutu during his first attempt, Hiro couldn’t find a way to capture Usutu. Finally, Hiro and Ando agreed to go old school, hiding behind a rock and ambusing their prey after a long wait. That didn’t exactly work, but this time Hiro didn’t get knocked out and Usutu was willing to talk. He said Hiro could either take him to Pinehearst or he could go after the four villains in a painting on the wall of Usutu’s hut - Arthur and Peter Petrelli, Knox and Flint. The four are painted around the Pinehearst logo, which is an image of a double helix representing the very formula that can give ordinary people super powers and which was stolen from Hiro this season. Artuher Petrelli is willing to go a long way to accomplish his mission, though, and that includes putting his wife into a coma to stop her from being able to see the future and stop him. Peter and his brother (yes, brother as we found out two weeks ago) Sylar go to visit her after Daphne visits Level 5 and invites Sylar to join Pinehearst. He declines, but Peter reads Angela’s mind, sees Pinehearst’s logo and goes to the facility to get some answers. Unfortunately, he’s met by his father and as a shocked Peter tries to process it all, his father hugs him and in the process sucks all of Peter’s powers from his body. Peter is left powerless and ordinary for now, but his big brother Nathan isn’t in a much better spot. Nathan and lady friend Tracy Strauss visit Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who is still growing and evolving into a repulsive insect-man after trying to create a formula to give himself powers, seeking to be cured from having their own powers. Mohinder gives them a shot he claims will make it easier to help identify their genetic markers and cure them, but it really poisons them and renders them unconscious so he can do whatever freaky things he does to people now, like put them in cocoons on the wall. However, Daphne arrives to recruit Mohinder and her presence rouses Tracy, who tries to trick Mohinder by acting like she wants to befriend him but instead using her power to freeze him, then free herself from her restraints and do the same for Nathan. The two are about to escape when Mohinder recovers and throws a piece of furniture across the room at them, telling them that their business isn’t finished yet. But the review of this week’s episode is, so until next time…….
Monday, October 20, 2008
More invasions of privacy (hooray!), finally the Red sox KO'd and tonight's episode of Prison Break
- Now we have our answer as to what happens when a team tries to violate the laws of physics and the universe by having two Roy Williamses on its roster. Less than five days after trading for wide receiver Roy Willams from the Detroit Lions with safety Roy Williams already on the roster, the Cowboys saw safety Roy Williams brake his right forearm for the second time Sunday in his first game back from the previous injury. Now, he’s out for the remainder of the season and I can’t help but think that this is the universe trying to level things out, find its equilibrium. You try to bring together two Roy Williamses and bad things happen. Just be glad that my worse case scenario of safety Roy Williams putting a big hit on receiver Roy Williams in practice and tearing a hole in the space/time continuum in the process. So the Cowboys’ season will go on with only one Roy Williams on the active roster, and judging by the 0-1 record they sported with both men on the field (a terrible loss to the lowly St. Louis Rams, no less), that may be the best thing for all involved….
- Plenty of internal and interpersonal dram highlighted last night’s episode of Prison Break. Inside Michael Scofield’s convict crew working to steal the data on the Company’s Scylla card system, Roland, the team tech dork who managed to lose his sophisticated wireless hard drive device that has been used to copy the first five Scylla cards, and to lose it cheating at a progressive slots machine in Las Vegas, was bound to his bunk by Michael for his idiotic mistake. Roland isn’t happy and acts out in a dangerous way; by using a phone number he lifted from the phone that Alex Mahone used to call and threaten Company hitman Wyatt last week to contact Wyatt and offer to sell out Michael and brother Linc to the Company. Roland communicates via untraceable text messages and eventually cuts off his GPS ankle bracelet to flee the warehouse and meet with Wyatt. He does so as the rest of the crew is busy executing a plan to steal the contents of the final Scylla card from “The General” Jonathan Krantz, a.k.a. Pad Man, the head of the Company. The plan mirrors one Linc used several years ago in Chicago when he was involved in some serious criminal activity. The plan revolves around crashing ramming a car, demolition-derby style, and using the resulting pandemonium to steal what you want. For this plan, Linc and Sucre pick up a car from a local scrap yard and outfit it for the crash. Michael, Sarah and Brad Bellick posed as the ambulance crew, set to arrive on the scene in an ambulance that Michael and Linc had stolen from a local federal impound lot earlier in the day while Homeland Security agent Don Self provided a distraction. The plan called for Sara to pump the General full of morphine and thus keep him from remembering anything about the card being taken and copied. Mahone was also on hand to provide a set of eyes to track the General’s limo as it left company HQ at GATE Industries. But the plan came unglued when Roland told Wyatt where the ambush was to take place and Wyatt warned the General. The General’s driver altered his route at the last minute and Wyatt showed up to ambush Linc and Sucre, shooting their car and wounding Sucre. Everyone was able to get away, but back at the warehouse, Sucre was in bad shape. Sarah hearkened back to her days as a doctor, removing the bullet and stopping the bleeding. She also played doctor in the episode by confronting Michael about his recent rash of nose bleeds, the same symptom Michael’s mother had before developing a brain tumor that took her life and the same symptoms Michael had at the same ages as his mother, specifically as a teenager and then again at age 31. While Sarah doctored up Sucre, the rest of the group went to find Roland using a tracer Michael secretly placed inside Roland’s laptop. They arrived in the back alley where Roland met with Wyatt and was ambushed because he went in naïvely believing that he was actually going to receive $1 million for turning in Michael and Linc. Instead, Wyatt arrived with bad intentions, shooting Wyatt in the knee caps until Roland gave up the location of the warehouse. Once Wyatt had the information, he called the General, but the call was aborted when Michael, Mahone, Linc, Sucre and Bellick arrived on the scene and clobbered Wyatt from behind. Mahone went nuts, trying to kill the man who murdered his son, but he was pulled off with Linc promising that once they got what they needed from Wyatt, he would have his chance for revenge. Revenge was also on the agenda for Sarah, who was given a message from Gretchen, the former Company operative turned outsider seeking revenge against them who tortured Sarah in Season 3 and made Michael believe she had been killed, via Don Self. Gretchen offered Sarah the chance to meet at a local motel and “resolve their differences.” Initially Sarah said no to the meeting, but she ended up deciding otherwise and taking a cab to the motel. There, Gretchen offered Sarah a chance to inflict the same punishment on her that she had inflictede on Sarah back in Panama - bull-whipping. Sarah had other ideas, using a sharp piece of metal to cut Grtetchen’s neck at a pressure point and inflict pain while forcing her nemesis to reveal the name of a guard at the camp in Panama where Sarah had been held, a guard Gretchen had killed for trying to help Sarah escape. After receiving that information, Sarah left with a warning similar to the one Michael gave to Gretchen in last season’s finale, namely that revenge was coming once this is all over. Gretchen also continued her business with T-Bag, meeting in the GATE office where the secret tunnel to the building where Scylla is housed begins. In that office, Mr. Xang, the intimidating Chinese crime boss who threated to kill T-Bag last episode for not having Scylla yet, returned make good on his word. Gretchen stopped him by promising that she would deliver Scylla -for $125 million. T-Bag is told that he will receive a $25 million cut of that amount, so he turns around and tells his secretary, the one he’s been collaborating with in recent weeks on various schemes, that his payout will be $1 million and that she gets part of it. Together, they lift a fingerprint from Gretchen so they have something to use against her if she turns on them. As the episode ends, the two pre-eminent images are 1) the General telling his fellow Scylla cardholders that security be damned, he wants Scylla moved immediately because it’s in danger, and 2) Michael holding a dying Roland in his arms. That will be all until next time kids, so until then….
- Amazingly, governments around the world are actually claiming that they oppose technology that could be used to further violate the privacy rights of their citizens. Normally, governments are down with anything allowing Big Brother to further extend its greasy paws into the private lives of citizens, so it’s surprising that European Union lawmakers have joined U.S. civil liberty advocates in criticizing a new scanner that allows airport security to see through passengers' clothes. The pervy new scanner is being labeled it a virtual strip search, which seems like something you should pay a quarter for in a booth at an adult video store, not an acceptable airport security measure. Its creators and supports say it would only be used as a last resort - uh huh, sure. The new system allows guards to see an outline of passengers' bodies beneath their clothes, theoretically with the benefit of making it easier to detect any concealed objects. Already, this blatant invasion of privacy has been introduced in several U.S. airports and has also been tested in other countries around the world, including Britain and the Netherlands. While the EU plans to implement the system soon, officials said it could face a ban if the 27-nation bloc does not include it in a new regulation listing acceptable airport security equipment. “Many travelers will consider these scanners an enormous intrusion” on their personal privacy, Philip Bradbourn, a British Conservative member of the EU assembly, declared. Right on, Phil. This goes several steps too far and would be just one more brick in the road toward total and indiscriminate violation of all private rights of common people on a daily basis……
- Once again, I am disheartened to find out about another arrest and conviction of a key figure in the world of illegal drugs, knowing that this is going to make even harder for me to score my illicit substances at an affordable price. So it is with great sadness that I relay news of Luis Hernando Gomez-Bustamante pleading guilty to related federal drug trafficking conspiracy charges in New York, meaning he faces at least a 10-year prison term. Gomez admitted in U.S. District Court that he was a leader of the Norte Valle drug cartel that engaged in murder, bribery, money laundering and drug trafficking in moving cocaine from Colombia and through Mexico to the U.S. And the problem here is? Dude is an entrepreneur, and sometimes in the business world, you need to break a few arms, bribe a few public officials and yes, maybe kill a person or two. So what if Gomez also worked with a terrorist organization and helped to move billions of dollars worth of cocaine to the United States? What, you’re telling me that none of you has done the exact same thing in earning a living? Now, this guy has pleaded guilty to federal racketeering charges and he’s going to prison all because he tried to follow the American dream of making a fortune, albeit by heinous, illegal and immoral means. The Justice Department says Gomez will not face a life sentence as part of an extradition agreement with Colombia, which is positive news. Prosecutors said they instead will seek a prison term of unspecified years for Gomez, which isn’t great news. If you’re wondering what the exact numbers in the case are, the U.S. government accuses the Norte Valle cartel of sending more than 1 million pounds of cocaine -- worth more than $10 billion -- to the United States between 1990 and 2004. Wow…..that is a lot of blow. But now that Colombian nose candy is going to have to find its way to the U.S. by other means, because once again our government is hell-bent on spoiling all of our illegal narcotics fun.
- I know I said that once my beloved Chicago Cubs were booted from the Major League Baseball playoffs following a colossal first-round choke job. However, for a sports fan it’s tough to avoid news of any one sport completely (unless it’s a fake sport like NASCAR or a peripheral, secondary sport that .04 percent of America gives a crap about like hockey), and as such, I was happy to see the Tampa Bay Rays win the American League Championship Series over the weekend. More accurately, I was ecstatic to see the Boston Red Sox LOSE! I now hate the Red Sox as much as I hate the New York Yankees, as they have essentially morphed into mirror images on one another: high-spend, arrogant teams who think they can buy titles, with annoying fans who mistakenly believe that the baseball world revolves around them and rosters full of overpaid superstars with bloated egos. The Sox are so irritating that seeing them lose almost - ALMOST - made up for the Cubbies being eliminated from the playoffs. Even though the Sox proved to be like the villain from a bad horror movie, coming back from a 3-1 series deficit to force Game 7 last night, the Rays prevailed. And even though Boston made a miraculous comeback in Game 5, rallying from being down 7-0 to win 8-7, it wasn’t enough to push them back into the World Series. Finally, a Fall Classic that doesn’t involve the Yankees, Sox, Cardinals or Braves……..good times…..
- Plenty of internal and interpersonal dram highlighted last night’s episode of Prison Break. Inside Michael Scofield’s convict crew working to steal the data on the Company’s Scylla card system, Roland, the team tech dork who managed to lose his sophisticated wireless hard drive device that has been used to copy the first five Scylla cards, and to lose it cheating at a progressive slots machine in Las Vegas, was bound to his bunk by Michael for his idiotic mistake. Roland isn’t happy and acts out in a dangerous way; by using a phone number he lifted from the phone that Alex Mahone used to call and threaten Company hitman Wyatt last week to contact Wyatt and offer to sell out Michael and brother Linc to the Company. Roland communicates via untraceable text messages and eventually cuts off his GPS ankle bracelet to flee the warehouse and meet with Wyatt. He does so as the rest of the crew is busy executing a plan to steal the contents of the final Scylla card from “The General” Jonathan Krantz, a.k.a. Pad Man, the head of the Company. The plan mirrors one Linc used several years ago in Chicago when he was involved in some serious criminal activity. The plan revolves around crashing ramming a car, demolition-derby style, and using the resulting pandemonium to steal what you want. For this plan, Linc and Sucre pick up a car from a local scrap yard and outfit it for the crash. Michael, Sarah and Brad Bellick posed as the ambulance crew, set to arrive on the scene in an ambulance that Michael and Linc had stolen from a local federal impound lot earlier in the day while Homeland Security agent Don Self provided a distraction. The plan called for Sara to pump the General full of morphine and thus keep him from remembering anything about the card being taken and copied. Mahone was also on hand to provide a set of eyes to track the General’s limo as it left company HQ at GATE Industries. But the plan came unglued when Roland told Wyatt where the ambush was to take place and Wyatt warned the General. The General’s driver altered his route at the last minute and Wyatt showed up to ambush Linc and Sucre, shooting their car and wounding Sucre. Everyone was able to get away, but back at the warehouse, Sucre was in bad shape. Sarah hearkened back to her days as a doctor, removing the bullet and stopping the bleeding. She also played doctor in the episode by confronting Michael about his recent rash of nose bleeds, the same symptom Michael’s mother had before developing a brain tumor that took her life and the same symptoms Michael had at the same ages as his mother, specifically as a teenager and then again at age 31. While Sarah doctored up Sucre, the rest of the group went to find Roland using a tracer Michael secretly placed inside Roland’s laptop. They arrived in the back alley where Roland met with Wyatt and was ambushed because he went in naïvely believing that he was actually going to receive $1 million for turning in Michael and Linc. Instead, Wyatt arrived with bad intentions, shooting Wyatt in the knee caps until Roland gave up the location of the warehouse. Once Wyatt had the information, he called the General, but the call was aborted when Michael, Mahone, Linc, Sucre and Bellick arrived on the scene and clobbered Wyatt from behind. Mahone went nuts, trying to kill the man who murdered his son, but he was pulled off with Linc promising that once they got what they needed from Wyatt, he would have his chance for revenge. Revenge was also on the agenda for Sarah, who was given a message from Gretchen, the former Company operative turned outsider seeking revenge against them who tortured Sarah in Season 3 and made Michael believe she had been killed, via Don Self. Gretchen offered Sarah the chance to meet at a local motel and “resolve their differences.” Initially Sarah said no to the meeting, but she ended up deciding otherwise and taking a cab to the motel. There, Gretchen offered Sarah a chance to inflict the same punishment on her that she had inflictede on Sarah back in Panama - bull-whipping. Sarah had other ideas, using a sharp piece of metal to cut Grtetchen’s neck at a pressure point and inflict pain while forcing her nemesis to reveal the name of a guard at the camp in Panama where Sarah had been held, a guard Gretchen had killed for trying to help Sarah escape. After receiving that information, Sarah left with a warning similar to the one Michael gave to Gretchen in last season’s finale, namely that revenge was coming once this is all over. Gretchen also continued her business with T-Bag, meeting in the GATE office where the secret tunnel to the building where Scylla is housed begins. In that office, Mr. Xang, the intimidating Chinese crime boss who threated to kill T-Bag last episode for not having Scylla yet, returned make good on his word. Gretchen stopped him by promising that she would deliver Scylla -for $125 million. T-Bag is told that he will receive a $25 million cut of that amount, so he turns around and tells his secretary, the one he’s been collaborating with in recent weeks on various schemes, that his payout will be $1 million and that she gets part of it. Together, they lift a fingerprint from Gretchen so they have something to use against her if she turns on them. As the episode ends, the two pre-eminent images are 1) the General telling his fellow Scylla cardholders that security be damned, he wants Scylla moved immediately because it’s in danger, and 2) Michael holding a dying Roland in his arms. That will be all until next time kids, so until then….
- Amazingly, governments around the world are actually claiming that they oppose technology that could be used to further violate the privacy rights of their citizens. Normally, governments are down with anything allowing Big Brother to further extend its greasy paws into the private lives of citizens, so it’s surprising that European Union lawmakers have joined U.S. civil liberty advocates in criticizing a new scanner that allows airport security to see through passengers' clothes. The pervy new scanner is being labeled it a virtual strip search, which seems like something you should pay a quarter for in a booth at an adult video store, not an acceptable airport security measure. Its creators and supports say it would only be used as a last resort - uh huh, sure. The new system allows guards to see an outline of passengers' bodies beneath their clothes, theoretically with the benefit of making it easier to detect any concealed objects. Already, this blatant invasion of privacy has been introduced in several U.S. airports and has also been tested in other countries around the world, including Britain and the Netherlands. While the EU plans to implement the system soon, officials said it could face a ban if the 27-nation bloc does not include it in a new regulation listing acceptable airport security equipment. “Many travelers will consider these scanners an enormous intrusion” on their personal privacy, Philip Bradbourn, a British Conservative member of the EU assembly, declared. Right on, Phil. This goes several steps too far and would be just one more brick in the road toward total and indiscriminate violation of all private rights of common people on a daily basis……
- Once again, I am disheartened to find out about another arrest and conviction of a key figure in the world of illegal drugs, knowing that this is going to make even harder for me to score my illicit substances at an affordable price. So it is with great sadness that I relay news of Luis Hernando Gomez-Bustamante pleading guilty to related federal drug trafficking conspiracy charges in New York, meaning he faces at least a 10-year prison term. Gomez admitted in U.S. District Court that he was a leader of the Norte Valle drug cartel that engaged in murder, bribery, money laundering and drug trafficking in moving cocaine from Colombia and through Mexico to the U.S. And the problem here is? Dude is an entrepreneur, and sometimes in the business world, you need to break a few arms, bribe a few public officials and yes, maybe kill a person or two. So what if Gomez also worked with a terrorist organization and helped to move billions of dollars worth of cocaine to the United States? What, you’re telling me that none of you has done the exact same thing in earning a living? Now, this guy has pleaded guilty to federal racketeering charges and he’s going to prison all because he tried to follow the American dream of making a fortune, albeit by heinous, illegal and immoral means. The Justice Department says Gomez will not face a life sentence as part of an extradition agreement with Colombia, which is positive news. Prosecutors said they instead will seek a prison term of unspecified years for Gomez, which isn’t great news. If you’re wondering what the exact numbers in the case are, the U.S. government accuses the Norte Valle cartel of sending more than 1 million pounds of cocaine -- worth more than $10 billion -- to the United States between 1990 and 2004. Wow…..that is a lot of blow. But now that Colombian nose candy is going to have to find its way to the U.S. by other means, because once again our government is hell-bent on spoiling all of our illegal narcotics fun.
- I know I said that once my beloved Chicago Cubs were booted from the Major League Baseball playoffs following a colossal first-round choke job. However, for a sports fan it’s tough to avoid news of any one sport completely (unless it’s a fake sport like NASCAR or a peripheral, secondary sport that .04 percent of America gives a crap about like hockey), and as such, I was happy to see the Tampa Bay Rays win the American League Championship Series over the weekend. More accurately, I was ecstatic to see the Boston Red Sox LOSE! I now hate the Red Sox as much as I hate the New York Yankees, as they have essentially morphed into mirror images on one another: high-spend, arrogant teams who think they can buy titles, with annoying fans who mistakenly believe that the baseball world revolves around them and rosters full of overpaid superstars with bloated egos. The Sox are so irritating that seeing them lose almost - ALMOST - made up for the Cubbies being eliminated from the playoffs. Even though the Sox proved to be like the villain from a bad horror movie, coming back from a 3-1 series deficit to force Game 7 last night, the Rays prevailed. And even though Boston made a miraculous comeback in Game 5, rallying from being down 7-0 to win 8-7, it wasn’t enough to push them back into the World Series. Finally, a Fall Classic that doesn’t involve the Yankees, Sox, Cardinals or Braves……..good times…..
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Hop on board the domestic abuse train, a sad college basketball story and your weekend at the movies
- Can anyone explain to me why the Super Bowl is fast becoming the domain of the wealthy? Other than saying that they can afford to buy whatever they want and money talks, of course. I’m asking why the NFL is making it so that only the uber-rich can reasonably afford to attend their sport’s biggest game. Yes, I understand that the league is a business and the owners of its teams want to rake in as much money as possible, but could we please draw a line somewhere? Preferably, that line would have come before the official price of Super Bowl tickets reached $1,000, which they will for the first time for this upcoming Super Bowl. The greedy bastards at the NFL offices confirmed Thursday that 25 percent of the tickets for the Feb. 1 game in Tampa will be priced at $1,000. And no, I don’t put much stock in the hollow gesture of
pricing 1,000 tickets at Raymond James Stadium by $200 to $500, supposedly for the common fan. First off, those seats are so far away from the field that you need a high-powered telescope to follow the action. Second, 1,000 seats out of more than 70,000 isnt nearly enough. But I guess you could see this coming, what with tickets for last year's game in Glendale, Ariz., between the New England Patriots and New York Giants priced at $700 and $900, up from $600 and $700 the year before. Adding to that misery, At last year's game, the average price of tickets on StubHub for ducats was $4,300. Quite a departure from ticket prices for the first Super Bowl, played at the Los Angeles Coliseum 43 years ago, which were $6, $10 and $12. Inflation and greed took them over the $100 mark in 1988 and they’ve increased regularly since. But hey, maybe pool some money with your buddies, buy one tickets, split it four ways and you can each watch one quarter of the game….if you can find a way to exit and enter with the same ticket, that is…..
- Gotta say, I am not feeling too good about your security right about now, France. Having hackers access your president’s bank account does not say good things about your ability to keep law and order within your borders (or cyber-borders). Government spokesman Luc Chatel admitted that an investigation is underway and insists the incident “proves that this system of checking (bank accounts) via the Internet isn't infallible.” You needed someone to hack Nikolas Sarkozy’s bank account to learn that online banking isn’t infallible? Dude, your average American soccer mom who does online banking each week could have told you that. That’s something you should have known and thus put in an extra level of security or two, given whose personal assets and data you are supposed to be protecting. It’s being reported that that thieves seized Sarkozy's bank account information and stole small sums of money from him. In predictable and true French fashion, Sarkozy’s bank account surrendered the funds at the first hint of danger. Sarkozy reported the theft last month, but so far the responsible parties haven't been found. But nice of French Cabinet spokesman Chatel to label them says “swindlers” who have broken into the personal bank account of Sarkozy. Swindlers? Dude, we’re in the 21st century now. Swindlers went out right around the time derby hats and handlebar mustaches lost their popularity. Get with it, Frenchies, and start protecting your president’s assets better…….
- It appears that the ladies (and moviegoers in general) still love Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg's action flick “Max Payne” debuted with $18 million to beat down avid conspiracy theorist and druggie Oliver Stone's biography of our un-esteemed leader W. In fact, “W.” actually ran fourth, opening with $10.6 million and finishing behind certified piece of crap “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” (No. 2 with $11.2 million) and the chick flick "The Secret Life of Bees" (No. 3 with $11.1 million). Honestly, I’m bummed that W. finished so low in the rankings, because any film ripping the worst leader in the history of the free world is cool with me. Yes, it’s a film all about W., but he’s not making any money from the film and it’s critical of him. The movie stars Josh Brolin as W., and averaged a solid but unremarkable $5,197 a theater. It only started shooting in May, with a five-month turnaround time a very tight production schedule by Hollywood standards. So here’s how the top 10 shook down, top to bottom: 1) "Max Payne," $18 million, 2) "Beverly Hills Chihuahua," $11.2 million, 3) "The Secret Life of Bees," $11.1 million, 4) "W.," $10.6 million, 5) "Eagle Eye," $7.3 million, 6) "Body of Lies," $6.9 million, 7) "Quarantine," $6.3 million, 8) "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," $3.9 million, 9) "Sex Drive," $3.6 million, 10) "Nights in Rodanthe," $2.7 million. An inspiring top 10? No, but there are a few good ones in there, so overall not a terrible weekend at the movies……
- Here is a sad story, to be sure. Last season, University of North Carolina-Asheville basketball player Kenny George received a lot of notoriety because at 7-foot-7, he was college basketball's tallest player and averaged 12.4 points and seven rebounds for the Bulldogs. He was the Big South's defensive player of the year and he led his team to a school record 23 wins. Unfortunately, this offseason, specifically the past few weeks, have been very, very difficult for a guy who is, by all accounts, a solid guy. It was confirmed this week that George had part of his right foot amputated three weeks ago as the result of George's battle with MRSA, a difficult to treat and sometimes life-threatening antibiotic-resistant staph infection. The infection came in August after George returned to his Chicago home from Pete Newell's Big Man Camp in Las Vegas with an infection in his foot. Immediately, doctors suggested that George see a specialist. He's been hospitalized in Iowa since then, the source said, enduring several surgeries and even battling for his life at one point. Even three weeks removed from the amputation, he's expected to remain in the hospital for at least another month.
His coach, Eddie Biedenbach, declined to comment about the specifics but said he expects George to return to campus next semester and complete his degree in mass communications. “This is a terrible setback for his basketball life but there is so much more to him than basketball,'” Biedenbach said. Agreed, coach. This is a really sad turn of events for a young guy with so much promise, but hopefully George will find a way to remain involved with basketball if he chooses and is successful with whatever he does outside of the game. Best wishes for a full recovery, Kenny, thoughts and prayers…..
- Everybody hop on board….the domestic abuse train? Sadly, it’s true that 1970s TV icon Don Cornelius, the former host of “Soul Train,” was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence Saturday. Police were called to his Hollywood Hills home Friday after someone reported a domestic dispute and Cornelius was taken to jail. There, he was booked for investigation of felony domestic violence and released on $50,000 bail. The judge also ordered him to appear in court next month. At this point, police aren’t saying whom Cornelius was suspected of assaulting. This is not cool if it is true, because this is a guy who started "Soul Train" in 1970 to showcase black music and culture, and now he’s turning into the next Ike Turner? For God’s sake, Cornelius, you introduced television audiences to legendary artists like Aretha Franklin, Marvin Gaye and Barry White. Shake yourself and stop smacking around you lady friends, bro. Your creation spawned a franchise that includes the Soul Train Music Awards, the Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards and the Soul Train Christmas Starfest. Even though you stepped down as "Soul Train" host in 1993, you remain an icon of black culture in America and seeing you getting your butt hauled off to jail and your mug shot taken isn’t good for anyone, my man….
pricing 1,000 tickets at Raymond James Stadium by $200 to $500, supposedly for the common fan. First off, those seats are so far away from the field that you need a high-powered telescope to follow the action. Second, 1,000 seats out of more than 70,000 isnt nearly enough. But I guess you could see this coming, what with tickets for last year's game in Glendale, Ariz., between the New England Patriots and New York Giants priced at $700 and $900, up from $600 and $700 the year before. Adding to that misery, At last year's game, the average price of tickets on StubHub for ducats was $4,300. Quite a departure from ticket prices for the first Super Bowl, played at the Los Angeles Coliseum 43 years ago, which were $6, $10 and $12. Inflation and greed took them over the $100 mark in 1988 and they’ve increased regularly since. But hey, maybe pool some money with your buddies, buy one tickets, split it four ways and you can each watch one quarter of the game….if you can find a way to exit and enter with the same ticket, that is…..
- Gotta say, I am not feeling too good about your security right about now, France. Having hackers access your president’s bank account does not say good things about your ability to keep law and order within your borders (or cyber-borders). Government spokesman Luc Chatel admitted that an investigation is underway and insists the incident “proves that this system of checking (bank accounts) via the Internet isn't infallible.” You needed someone to hack Nikolas Sarkozy’s bank account to learn that online banking isn’t infallible? Dude, your average American soccer mom who does online banking each week could have told you that. That’s something you should have known and thus put in an extra level of security or two, given whose personal assets and data you are supposed to be protecting. It’s being reported that that thieves seized Sarkozy's bank account information and stole small sums of money from him. In predictable and true French fashion, Sarkozy’s bank account surrendered the funds at the first hint of danger. Sarkozy reported the theft last month, but so far the responsible parties haven't been found. But nice of French Cabinet spokesman Chatel to label them says “swindlers” who have broken into the personal bank account of Sarkozy. Swindlers? Dude, we’re in the 21st century now. Swindlers went out right around the time derby hats and handlebar mustaches lost their popularity. Get with it, Frenchies, and start protecting your president’s assets better…….
- It appears that the ladies (and moviegoers in general) still love Mark Wahlberg. Wahlberg's action flick “Max Payne” debuted with $18 million to beat down avid conspiracy theorist and druggie Oliver Stone's biography of our un-esteemed leader W. In fact, “W.” actually ran fourth, opening with $10.6 million and finishing behind certified piece of crap “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” (No. 2 with $11.2 million) and the chick flick "The Secret Life of Bees" (No. 3 with $11.1 million). Honestly, I’m bummed that W. finished so low in the rankings, because any film ripping the worst leader in the history of the free world is cool with me. Yes, it’s a film all about W., but he’s not making any money from the film and it’s critical of him. The movie stars Josh Brolin as W., and averaged a solid but unremarkable $5,197 a theater. It only started shooting in May, with a five-month turnaround time a very tight production schedule by Hollywood standards. So here’s how the top 10 shook down, top to bottom: 1) "Max Payne," $18 million, 2) "Beverly Hills Chihuahua," $11.2 million, 3) "The Secret Life of Bees," $11.1 million, 4) "W.," $10.6 million, 5) "Eagle Eye," $7.3 million, 6) "Body of Lies," $6.9 million, 7) "Quarantine," $6.3 million, 8) "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," $3.9 million, 9) "Sex Drive," $3.6 million, 10) "Nights in Rodanthe," $2.7 million. An inspiring top 10? No, but there are a few good ones in there, so overall not a terrible weekend at the movies……
- Here is a sad story, to be sure. Last season, University of North Carolina-Asheville basketball player Kenny George received a lot of notoriety because at 7-foot-7, he was college basketball's tallest player and averaged 12.4 points and seven rebounds for the Bulldogs. He was the Big South's defensive player of the year and he led his team to a school record 23 wins. Unfortunately, this offseason, specifically the past few weeks, have been very, very difficult for a guy who is, by all accounts, a solid guy. It was confirmed this week that George had part of his right foot amputated three weeks ago as the result of George's battle with MRSA, a difficult to treat and sometimes life-threatening antibiotic-resistant staph infection. The infection came in August after George returned to his Chicago home from Pete Newell's Big Man Camp in Las Vegas with an infection in his foot. Immediately, doctors suggested that George see a specialist. He's been hospitalized in Iowa since then, the source said, enduring several surgeries and even battling for his life at one point. Even three weeks removed from the amputation, he's expected to remain in the hospital for at least another month.
His coach, Eddie Biedenbach, declined to comment about the specifics but said he expects George to return to campus next semester and complete his degree in mass communications. “This is a terrible setback for his basketball life but there is so much more to him than basketball,'” Biedenbach said. Agreed, coach. This is a really sad turn of events for a young guy with so much promise, but hopefully George will find a way to remain involved with basketball if he chooses and is successful with whatever he does outside of the game. Best wishes for a full recovery, Kenny, thoughts and prayers…..
- Everybody hop on board….the domestic abuse train? Sadly, it’s true that 1970s TV icon Don Cornelius, the former host of “Soul Train,” was arrested on suspicion of domestic violence Saturday. Police were called to his Hollywood Hills home Friday after someone reported a domestic dispute and Cornelius was taken to jail. There, he was booked for investigation of felony domestic violence and released on $50,000 bail. The judge also ordered him to appear in court next month. At this point, police aren’t saying whom Cornelius was suspected of assaulting. This is not cool if it is true, because this is a guy who started "Soul Train" in 1970 to showcase black music and culture, and now he’s turning into the next Ike Turner? For God’s sake, Cornelius, you introduced television audiences to legendary artists like Aretha Franklin, Marvin Gaye and Barry White. Shake yourself and stop smacking around you lady friends, bro. Your creation spawned a franchise that includes the Soul Train Music Awards, the Soul Train Lady of Soul Awards and the Soul Train Christmas Starfest. Even though you stepped down as "Soul Train" host in 1993, you remain an icon of black culture in America and seeing you getting your butt hauled off to jail and your mug shot taken isn’t good for anyone, my man….
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Wedding reception brawls, how Google can make you smarter and Thursday night's Smallville
- Who doesn’t love a good wedding reception brawl? A nice rumble at the reception breaks up lame music, the chicken dance, the electric slide and your drunk uncle hitting on all of the bridesmaids while the flower girl and ring bear chase each other around the room. So while I can get with Houston Astros pitcher Brandon Backe being one of 10 people arrested this month during a brawl at a wedding reception, I’m not sure I buy the story his attorney is selling to defend his client. Attorney Bob Moen, who represents Backe and six others arrested in the incident, alleged in a complaint to the FBI that Galveston police violated his clients' civil rights. Great Bob, but I have a question: do your clients get some sort of volume discount? Did one of them refer a couple of others to you and get a referral discount on his or her own rates? But I digress….according to Moen, he met with FBI agents on Wednesday to ensure there is a fair investigation into the incident. “I have initiated a formal complaint against the officers involved for their actions against the clients I represent for violating their civil rights,” Moen declared. Nice move, meeting with the FBI. You know it’s a good wedding reception if the FBI is somehow involved. To be fair to the local police (a fairness Bob Moen may not feel they deserve), an internal affairs investigation has been launched into the incident. The facts of the case are that Backe was among 10 people arrested Oct. 5 at a wedding reception at a hotel bar when a brawl broke out and police officers became involved. Witnesses have alleged that police used excessive force, which may be true since the father and brother of the bride were stunned with a Taser, and one of them was pepper-sprayed. Things escalated when police tried to arrest the bride's brother for allegedly entering a pool bar area with an open liquor container. During the struggle, the brother hit one officer in the chest and another in the face, after which others at the bar piled on when police tried to handcuff him. Backe was a member of the wedding party and he reportedly ignored police orders to back away from the fight and struggled with officers who were attempting to handcuff him. He has been charged with interfering with a police officer and resisting arrest, both misdemeanors. How proud a day this must have been for the happy couple, seeing it end with the bride’s father, brother and most of the wedding party hauled off in squad cars. Look, I’m all for resisting authority and sticking it to The Man, but you all need to check yourselves. This is supposed to be the happiest day of these two people’s lives and here you are ruining it because you got too liquored up and threw down with the police. Then again, if you have people whose idea of a proper wedding reception is having it at a hotel bar, you can’t expect anything different…….
- Thursday was creepy stalker night on Smallville, with a well-intentioned psychopathic jeweler deciding that kidnapping engaged couples and forcing them to undergo an electrically charged lie-detector test was the best way to make sure that their love was true. Jimmy and Chloe had their engagement party, punctuated by a snarky toast from Chloe’s cousin Lois in which she implied that Chloe was getting married too soon and that maybe she and Jimmy weren’t really soul mates. After the reception, the creepy jeweler ambushed Chloe and Jimmy in the street, downed them with a Taser and hauled them off to his basement lab where he hooked them up to the polygraph and told them he was doing them a favor by strengthening their bond and forcing them to be totally honest with one another. That the honesty came when massive jolts of electricity accompanied a false answer to one of his twisted questions didn’t seem to matter. Thankfully, Chloe and Jimmy passed this psycho test because they were honest, so the jeweler zapped them again with the Taser, then placed them at home in their apartment. However, their disappearance led Lois and Clark Kent to go looking for Chloe and Jimmy. After taking a drunken Lois back to the Kent farm to sleep off her hangover on the couch, Clark offers Lois a ride back to the Talon to meet Chloe for a dress fitting. When Chloe is AWOL and the apartment looks untouched from the night before, Lois and Clark are suspicious. A message from the police informing Jimmy and Chloe that their cars have been towed for blocking a street sweeper raises even more suspicions. The debate on how to find their missing friends/cousin leaves Clark and Lois scrambling and arguing, but they manage to find links to three other engaged couples who have similarly disappeared recently. The link between the couples comes from visiting the same wedding-related stores, among them a cake shop, a stationery store and a jeweler. Lois decides that she and Clark posing as an engaged couple will bring the best results in luring out the abductor, which in turn makes for some good comedy as they pretend to be engaged and don’t exactly come off in the most convincing fashion. Things nearly come off the tracks when Oliver Queen, Lois’ ex, walks in on them at the jeweler’s and Lois and Clark have to stick with the engaged couple ruse so as to not tip off the jeweler, leaving a stunned Oliver in their wake. Later that day, the plan works as Lois is abducted on the street by the psycho jeweler. When Clark receives a truncated phone message from Lois during her abduction, he knows where he needs to go. Bursting in on the jeweler’s basement lab, he is about to rescue Lois when the jeweler’s Kryptonite bracelet weakens him and he is knocked out by a blow to the head. When Clark comes to, he and Lois are subjected to the same type of probing questions as Jimmy and Chloe. That leads to Lois being forced to admit that deep down, she does love Clark despite seeming to go out of her way to say otherwise on a non-stop basis. Before Clark has to answeer the same question, he manages to head-butt the jeweler, rip off the Kryptonite bracelet and use his heat vision to explode a pipe, filling the room with steam. He then takes out the jeweler and escapes with Lois, later resulting in an uncomfortable elevator exchange at the Daily Planet wherein Lois says she slipped the polygraph sensor off her finger during the test and was lying when she said she loved Clark, who enjoys seeing her twist and squirm. Oliver does some squirming of his own, trying to weasel his way back into the good graces of new LuthorCorp CEO Tess Mercer, who is also a former girlfriend. The plan seems to work when she accepts a dinner invitation, but instead of dinner, they end up sleeping together. The next morning, however, Tess kicks Oliver out of the mansion, telling him she’s moved on and grown up sicne their relationship ended because he cheated on her. At episode’s end, Chloe and Jimmy are the only happy couple, with Clark and Lois still trying to deny feelings for each other and Oliver and Tess still on icy terms. That’s all for this time, so until next week…..
- Awesome. That’s the only word I can think of for the Chinese workers on the Atlantic island
of Providenciales, Turks and Caicos who were building a resort on the island when a financial meltdown busted the project. The workers were oddly peeved at not being paid and on Thursday they went on strike, demanding wages and reportedly holding Israeli contractors at the site. Nice work, everyone. When you are the oppressed, taken-advantage-of minority, don’t let The Man hold you down. Go on strike, take hostages, do what you need to do. According to Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman Yossi Levy, the construction workers have put West Caicos island “under siege” and trapped an undetermined number of Israeli contractors on the 9-square-mile island. Now that I love, shutting things down, causing an international incident and taking hostages in the process, booyah! So I’m going to ignore the words of Ygal Yancovitz, a manager for project contractors, who said the Chinese workers were angry but were not holding anyone hostage. It works better with hostages, Y., so let it go. “The workers have closed the port and aren't letting anyone out,” Moti said. “They're not being violent at this time ... but the situation can get worse. They're surrounding our living quarters and not letting us leave.” Give them time, Y., give them time. Good riots and violence can't be forced or rushed; they have to happen organically, of their own accord. These people have been working hard on the Ritz Carlton Molasses Reef project, which was to feature a 125-room hotel, marina and condominiums on secluded West Caicos island, which is a popular stop for divers. And in a major financial crisis, guess who’s involved: yup, everyone’s favorite bankrupt investment bankers, Lehman Brothers Holding Inc. Lehman financed the resort project, but after the company went bankrupt last month, the project, which was 75 percent complete, was halted. Heck, I’d be pissed to if I were those workers, getting swept up in the financial meltodwn of American banks and investment groups and not getting paid for days and days of back-breaking labor. So do what you need to do, Chinese workers, I and other riot/social dissidence lovers worldwide are with you on this one….
- Anyone excited about Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s plans to appear on "Saturday Night Live" tonight? Me neither. SNL has featured three opening skits in which former cast member and Palin lookalike Tina Fey portrays the Alaska governor, a welcome departure from her wildly overrated comedy 30 Rock. Fey first appeared as Palin for the show's season premiere last month in a sketch with SNL cast member Amy Poehler, who played Sen. Hillary Clinton. Right, because who doesn’t enjoy an on-screen reunion of two of the “stars” from one of the year’s worst movies, Baby Mama? Two weeks after that sketch, Fey reprised her role as Palin, again alongside Poehler, who parodied CBS's Katie Couric’s interview with Palin earlier that same week. So Lorne Michaels and Co. figured why not bring on the real thing, because let’s face it, just by virtue of not being Amy Poehler or Tina Fey, she’s like to be funnier than the two of them on screen together. But hey, at this point, you don’t expect much better from SNL; the show has absolutely sucked for several years now…..
- As you age, could Google be the secret to keeping your brain functioning at its highest level? If you believe the results of a study at the University of California, Los Angeles, the answer is yes. The study measured brain activity of older adults as they searched the Web, seeing how certain sites affected their cognitive functions. “There's so much interest in exercising our minds as we age,” said the researcher, Dr. Gary Small, a professor at the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA. “One result of this study is that these technologies are not all bad. They may be good in keeping our brains active.” Small recruited two groups of people for his study: one with minimal computer experience and another that was knowledgeable about the Web. Members of the latter group had more than twice the neural activation than their less experienced counterparts while searching online. That activity occurred in the region of the brain that controls decision-making and complex reasoning, according to Small's study. Unfortunately, Small said he can't pinpoint why there was more brain activity in the experienced users. “The way I theorized is that when we are confronted with new mental challenges, we don't know how to deal with it,” he offered. “We don't engage neural circuits. Once we figure out a strategy, we engage those circuits.” In the study, 24 people were divided into the two groups, who were similar in age ranging from 55 to 78 years old, sex and educational achievement. Their only difference was their technological experience. As part of the study, subjects underwent an MRI that monitored their brain activity while the subjects strapped on goggles, through which they saw a book page or an Internet search page. They were then asked to complete online search tasks such as finding out how to choose a car or looking up the benefits of eating chocolate or drinking coffee. In the end, those who spent more time online normally proved to have more proficient brain functions, a fact that bodes well for those of you who spend hours Googling pictures or videos of idiots performing wacky stunts and then posting them, or if you waste hours a week on your fantasy football squad or Facebook…..
- Thursday was creepy stalker night on Smallville, with a well-intentioned psychopathic jeweler deciding that kidnapping engaged couples and forcing them to undergo an electrically charged lie-detector test was the best way to make sure that their love was true. Jimmy and Chloe had their engagement party, punctuated by a snarky toast from Chloe’s cousin Lois in which she implied that Chloe was getting married too soon and that maybe she and Jimmy weren’t really soul mates. After the reception, the creepy jeweler ambushed Chloe and Jimmy in the street, downed them with a Taser and hauled them off to his basement lab where he hooked them up to the polygraph and told them he was doing them a favor by strengthening their bond and forcing them to be totally honest with one another. That the honesty came when massive jolts of electricity accompanied a false answer to one of his twisted questions didn’t seem to matter. Thankfully, Chloe and Jimmy passed this psycho test because they were honest, so the jeweler zapped them again with the Taser, then placed them at home in their apartment. However, their disappearance led Lois and Clark Kent to go looking for Chloe and Jimmy. After taking a drunken Lois back to the Kent farm to sleep off her hangover on the couch, Clark offers Lois a ride back to the Talon to meet Chloe for a dress fitting. When Chloe is AWOL and the apartment looks untouched from the night before, Lois and Clark are suspicious. A message from the police informing Jimmy and Chloe that their cars have been towed for blocking a street sweeper raises even more suspicions. The debate on how to find their missing friends/cousin leaves Clark and Lois scrambling and arguing, but they manage to find links to three other engaged couples who have similarly disappeared recently. The link between the couples comes from visiting the same wedding-related stores, among them a cake shop, a stationery store and a jeweler. Lois decides that she and Clark posing as an engaged couple will bring the best results in luring out the abductor, which in turn makes for some good comedy as they pretend to be engaged and don’t exactly come off in the most convincing fashion. Things nearly come off the tracks when Oliver Queen, Lois’ ex, walks in on them at the jeweler’s and Lois and Clark have to stick with the engaged couple ruse so as to not tip off the jeweler, leaving a stunned Oliver in their wake. Later that day, the plan works as Lois is abducted on the street by the psycho jeweler. When Clark receives a truncated phone message from Lois during her abduction, he knows where he needs to go. Bursting in on the jeweler’s basement lab, he is about to rescue Lois when the jeweler’s Kryptonite bracelet weakens him and he is knocked out by a blow to the head. When Clark comes to, he and Lois are subjected to the same type of probing questions as Jimmy and Chloe. That leads to Lois being forced to admit that deep down, she does love Clark despite seeming to go out of her way to say otherwise on a non-stop basis. Before Clark has to answeer the same question, he manages to head-butt the jeweler, rip off the Kryptonite bracelet and use his heat vision to explode a pipe, filling the room with steam. He then takes out the jeweler and escapes with Lois, later resulting in an uncomfortable elevator exchange at the Daily Planet wherein Lois says she slipped the polygraph sensor off her finger during the test and was lying when she said she loved Clark, who enjoys seeing her twist and squirm. Oliver does some squirming of his own, trying to weasel his way back into the good graces of new LuthorCorp CEO Tess Mercer, who is also a former girlfriend. The plan seems to work when she accepts a dinner invitation, but instead of dinner, they end up sleeping together. The next morning, however, Tess kicks Oliver out of the mansion, telling him she’s moved on and grown up sicne their relationship ended because he cheated on her. At episode’s end, Chloe and Jimmy are the only happy couple, with Clark and Lois still trying to deny feelings for each other and Oliver and Tess still on icy terms. That’s all for this time, so until next week…..
- Awesome. That’s the only word I can think of for the Chinese workers on the Atlantic island
of Providenciales, Turks and Caicos who were building a resort on the island when a financial meltdown busted the project. The workers were oddly peeved at not being paid and on Thursday they went on strike, demanding wages and reportedly holding Israeli contractors at the site. Nice work, everyone. When you are the oppressed, taken-advantage-of minority, don’t let The Man hold you down. Go on strike, take hostages, do what you need to do. According to Israeli Foreign Ministry spokesman Yossi Levy, the construction workers have put West Caicos island “under siege” and trapped an undetermined number of Israeli contractors on the 9-square-mile island. Now that I love, shutting things down, causing an international incident and taking hostages in the process, booyah! So I’m going to ignore the words of Ygal Yancovitz, a manager for project contractors, who said the Chinese workers were angry but were not holding anyone hostage. It works better with hostages, Y., so let it go. “The workers have closed the port and aren't letting anyone out,” Moti said. “They're not being violent at this time ... but the situation can get worse. They're surrounding our living quarters and not letting us leave.” Give them time, Y., give them time. Good riots and violence can't be forced or rushed; they have to happen organically, of their own accord. These people have been working hard on the Ritz Carlton Molasses Reef project, which was to feature a 125-room hotel, marina and condominiums on secluded West Caicos island, which is a popular stop for divers. And in a major financial crisis, guess who’s involved: yup, everyone’s favorite bankrupt investment bankers, Lehman Brothers Holding Inc. Lehman financed the resort project, but after the company went bankrupt last month, the project, which was 75 percent complete, was halted. Heck, I’d be pissed to if I were those workers, getting swept up in the financial meltodwn of American banks and investment groups and not getting paid for days and days of back-breaking labor. So do what you need to do, Chinese workers, I and other riot/social dissidence lovers worldwide are with you on this one….
- Anyone excited about Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin’s plans to appear on "Saturday Night Live" tonight? Me neither. SNL has featured three opening skits in which former cast member and Palin lookalike Tina Fey portrays the Alaska governor, a welcome departure from her wildly overrated comedy 30 Rock. Fey first appeared as Palin for the show's season premiere last month in a sketch with SNL cast member Amy Poehler, who played Sen. Hillary Clinton. Right, because who doesn’t enjoy an on-screen reunion of two of the “stars” from one of the year’s worst movies, Baby Mama? Two weeks after that sketch, Fey reprised her role as Palin, again alongside Poehler, who parodied CBS's Katie Couric’s interview with Palin earlier that same week. So Lorne Michaels and Co. figured why not bring on the real thing, because let’s face it, just by virtue of not being Amy Poehler or Tina Fey, she’s like to be funnier than the two of them on screen together. But hey, at this point, you don’t expect much better from SNL; the show has absolutely sucked for several years now…..
- As you age, could Google be the secret to keeping your brain functioning at its highest level? If you believe the results of a study at the University of California, Los Angeles, the answer is yes. The study measured brain activity of older adults as they searched the Web, seeing how certain sites affected their cognitive functions. “There's so much interest in exercising our minds as we age,” said the researcher, Dr. Gary Small, a professor at the Semel Institute for Neuroscience and Human Behavior at UCLA. “One result of this study is that these technologies are not all bad. They may be good in keeping our brains active.” Small recruited two groups of people for his study: one with minimal computer experience and another that was knowledgeable about the Web. Members of the latter group had more than twice the neural activation than their less experienced counterparts while searching online. That activity occurred in the region of the brain that controls decision-making and complex reasoning, according to Small's study. Unfortunately, Small said he can't pinpoint why there was more brain activity in the experienced users. “The way I theorized is that when we are confronted with new mental challenges, we don't know how to deal with it,” he offered. “We don't engage neural circuits. Once we figure out a strategy, we engage those circuits.” In the study, 24 people were divided into the two groups, who were similar in age ranging from 55 to 78 years old, sex and educational achievement. Their only difference was their technological experience. As part of the study, subjects underwent an MRI that monitored their brain activity while the subjects strapped on goggles, through which they saw a book page or an Internet search page. They were then asked to complete online search tasks such as finding out how to choose a car or looking up the benefits of eating chocolate or drinking coffee. In the end, those who spent more time online normally proved to have more proficient brain functions, a fact that bodes well for those of you who spend hours Googling pictures or videos of idiots performing wacky stunts and then posting them, or if you waste hours a week on your fantasy football squad or Facebook…..
Friday, October 17, 2008
My kind of sheriff, my kind of extreme sports junkie and the Red Sox get an unusual spark
- Having never been a member of an uber-disappointing Big 10 football team that is failing miserably under an allegedly brilliant new head coach, I can't say for sure what you would want if on said team. However, I can say with relative certainty that one thing you would not want is one of your teammates getting himself indefinitely suspended after being investigated for an alleged assault on a hockey player from your university’s team during the weekend. In other words, you would not want Michigan Wolverines football player Mike Milano as a member of your squad, not after he went full-on knucklehead less than 24 hours after his team dropped a terrible home loss to lowly Toledo, a Mid-American Conference basement dweller.
The university's department of public safety is investigating an alleged aggravated assault on Michigan hockey player Steve Kampfer, courtesy of Milano, that took place at approximately 2:25 a.m. Sunday in Ann Arbor. This isn’t just two dudes getting drunk and scrapping outside the bar, either; the incident report states that the Kampfer was taken to University Hospital. Police identified the alleged attacker as Milano. The 5-foot-7, 193-pound walk-on running back spent two years on Michigan's wrestling team, before making the transition to football last season and appearing in all of two games. He has yet to play this year and judging from this stunt, he’s not too concerned with playing in the Wolverines’ remaining games. Noted liar and scumbag/Michigan football coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez and the athletic department refuse to comment while the police investigation is ongoing, but allow me to comment for you: your boy Milano is an idiot. He reportedly lifted Kampfer up and slammed him into a wall, sending a guy who is a good enough, tough enough hockey player to be a fourth-round draft pick of the Anaheim Ducks. Michigan hockey coach Red Berenson doesn’t have the same problem as Fraud-riguez in commenting on the incident, saying of Kampfer that, “He just was a victim.” A great season just keeps getting better, eh Michigan football fans……
- Wow….who saw this coming? Pop skank Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce. Also, who would have guessed that the couple would issue a statement asking everyone to respect their privacy? Other than everyone, of course. I mean, after the rumors that Madonna was getting after it with New York Yankees choke artist Alex Rodriguez, leading to the demise of A-Rod’s marriage, who would guess that the Material Skank would also be heading for divorce? Heck, it’s a stunner than the MS and Ritchie last this long, having gotten married seven years ago at a lavish ceremony in Scotland. Rumors of this divorce have been swirling for a while now and the last time the couple was seen together in public was in September, when Madonna took a break from touring to celebrate her husband's birthday at a London pub. So it just really, really breaks my heart to see a quality human being like Madonna….okay, you know what? I can't lie like that. For someone who has contributed so little to the world of music and made a career out of being a musical slut, I don’t have a ton of sympathy, especially not if she was hitting it with A-Rod while both of them were still married…..
- Now this is my kind of law enforcement official. The sheriff of a rural Texas county next to the Mexican border was arrested at his office Wednesday after being indicted on charges of being involved in a large-scale cocaine and marijuana smuggling operation. Who is this hero of the men in blue, you ask? It’s none other than Starr County Sheriff Reymundo Guerra, named in a 19-count indictment along with more than a dozen other people, working on ways to make lots of money to supplement his police salary by breaking the very laws he was supposed to enforce. The south Texas sheriff is charged with conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine and marijuana; accessory after the fact,. Those charges stem from an alleged suggestion he made to a co-defendant to use false documents to avoid apprehension. Top it off with charges of facilitating the drug trafficking conspiracy through use of a telephone and you have a law-breaking trifecta the likes of which you don’t often see. The first count alone carries a minimum of 10 years in prison and a maximum of life as well as a $4 million fine. Uh-oh! Normally this is not the side of the criminal struggle you like to see your sheriff operating on, but don’t be so harsh to judge Guerra. After all, he was only added to the indictment after the FBI searched his Rio Grande City offices in early September. So initially he wasn’t even counted among the bad guys in the case, but the FBI just had to throw him in. Guerra appeared before a U.S. magistrate judge in McAllen on Tuesday and was ordered temporarily detained pending a hearing Friday. The government is requesting that he be held without bail until trial, so hi chief deputy will run the department for now. That could be a problem, because who knows if that guy (or girl) is qualified? Can he or she pretend to serve and protect the people of his or her community with one hand while simultaneously helping orchestrate a massive drug-running ring with the other? Betcha didn’t consider that. Plus, Guerra is merely carrying on a great tradition of Starr County sheriffs taking part in drug rings. In 1998, Guerra's predecessor, Sheriff Eugenio "Gene" Falcon Jr., pleaded guilty to conspiracy after an informant posing as a bail bondsman paid Falcon $11,050 in bribes for inmate referrals. Additionally, sheriff’s in three nearby counties have been found guilty of drug-related charges since the mid-1990s. Welcome to south Texas, where the laws are loose and the law enforcement and criminals are one in the same.
- Maybe this will be just the spark that the Boston Red Sox need to propel themselves back into the American League Championship Series. Trailing 3-1 to Tampa Bay and looking to stave off elimination, the Sox are fighting for their playoff lives. The same may also be true of the famed red, white and blue Citgo sign over Fenway Park's Green Monster in left field. The sign, which is a mainstay of the Boston landscape and a visible icon to be see on any game broadcast from Fenway, caught fire Wednesday and in the blaze, some of the plastic panels on the sign melted and blackened. Fortunately, no one was injured, except for the sign of course. Steve MacDonald, a spokesman for the Boston Fire Department, said the flames and smoke, first spotted by bystanders and drivers about noon. Thanks to these good Samaritans, the flames were quickly put out. At this point, it is believed that the blaze was likely caused by an electrical short circuit. Damage to the sign was estimated at $5,000.The 60-foot by 60-foot sign -- situated atop of a building by the ballpark since 1940 -- includes more than 5 miles of neon tubes, lit by 250 high-voltage transformers. It was renovated in 2005 when the company switched it to light-emitting diodes (LEDs). Diodes or neon tubes, I don’t care, just get the sign back to full strength ASAP.
- What to do when you are stuck in the mountains for five days, cut off from civilization and fresh out of necessary supplies? To answer that question, meet Derek Mamoyac of Philomath, Oregon. Derek was climbing southern Washington's Mount Adams five days ago when he suffered with a broken ankle. Mamoyac was unable to call for help and couldn’t move very well, so he ate centipedes and drank water from creeks as he tried to crawl to safety. Earlier today, a dog from a search and rescue team located Mamoyac just below the 6,000-foot level on the west side of the mountain. A rescue helicopter took him to a hospital in Portland, Oregon, where he was listed in fair condition. Over the past five days, Mamoyac managed to add dehydration and swollen legs to his broken ankle, making for an interesting camping story if nothing else. “It's like waking up from a horrible dream,” said his sister, Sophia Mamoyac. Her brother started up the 12,277-foot mountain Sunday for a one-day climb and it wasn’t until Monday that family members reported him missing after he failed to show up for work. According to his rescuers, Derek was in good spirits and relatively good shape after being stranded for five days on the side of a mountain. I have to salute him for his toughness because had that been me, centipedes would not have been on the menu. Plus, although he was wearing water-resistant pants, insulated boots and gloves, Mamoyac admitted to still being very, very cold. “We put all our coats on him, and he was still shivering,” Bartlett said. Leading the charge to find Mamoyac was a rescue team led by Greg Varney with his search dog, Trulee, a golden retriever. Yet another reason to love dogs, finding a guy whose climbing trip turned bad as he was descending after reaching Pike's Peak at 11,657 feet, below the mountain's summit. That’s when Mamoyac stepped in some snow he thought was solid, but it gave way and he broke his right ankle tumbling down the mountain. Proving that mountain climbers are a different (and likely insane) breed, he then spent nearly four days crawling and dragging his feet through the snow. When his knees hurt too much to crawl, he said he would turn around and scoot backward. Varney pointed out that when searches drag on for as long as five days, the end result typically isn’t good. Glad to see this one buck the trend, so bet wishes for a full recovery, Derek….
The university's department of public safety is investigating an alleged aggravated assault on Michigan hockey player Steve Kampfer, courtesy of Milano, that took place at approximately 2:25 a.m. Sunday in Ann Arbor. This isn’t just two dudes getting drunk and scrapping outside the bar, either; the incident report states that the Kampfer was taken to University Hospital. Police identified the alleged attacker as Milano. The 5-foot-7, 193-pound walk-on running back spent two years on Michigan's wrestling team, before making the transition to football last season and appearing in all of two games. He has yet to play this year and judging from this stunt, he’s not too concerned with playing in the Wolverines’ remaining games. Noted liar and scumbag/Michigan football coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez and the athletic department refuse to comment while the police investigation is ongoing, but allow me to comment for you: your boy Milano is an idiot. He reportedly lifted Kampfer up and slammed him into a wall, sending a guy who is a good enough, tough enough hockey player to be a fourth-round draft pick of the Anaheim Ducks. Michigan hockey coach Red Berenson doesn’t have the same problem as Fraud-riguez in commenting on the incident, saying of Kampfer that, “He just was a victim.” A great season just keeps getting better, eh Michigan football fans……
- Wow….who saw this coming? Pop skank Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie are getting a divorce. Also, who would have guessed that the couple would issue a statement asking everyone to respect their privacy? Other than everyone, of course. I mean, after the rumors that Madonna was getting after it with New York Yankees choke artist Alex Rodriguez, leading to the demise of A-Rod’s marriage, who would guess that the Material Skank would also be heading for divorce? Heck, it’s a stunner than the MS and Ritchie last this long, having gotten married seven years ago at a lavish ceremony in Scotland. Rumors of this divorce have been swirling for a while now and the last time the couple was seen together in public was in September, when Madonna took a break from touring to celebrate her husband's birthday at a London pub. So it just really, really breaks my heart to see a quality human being like Madonna….okay, you know what? I can't lie like that. For someone who has contributed so little to the world of music and made a career out of being a musical slut, I don’t have a ton of sympathy, especially not if she was hitting it with A-Rod while both of them were still married…..
- Now this is my kind of law enforcement official. The sheriff of a rural Texas county next to the Mexican border was arrested at his office Wednesday after being indicted on charges of being involved in a large-scale cocaine and marijuana smuggling operation. Who is this hero of the men in blue, you ask? It’s none other than Starr County Sheriff Reymundo Guerra, named in a 19-count indictment along with more than a dozen other people, working on ways to make lots of money to supplement his police salary by breaking the very laws he was supposed to enforce. The south Texas sheriff is charged with conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine and marijuana; accessory after the fact,. Those charges stem from an alleged suggestion he made to a co-defendant to use false documents to avoid apprehension. Top it off with charges of facilitating the drug trafficking conspiracy through use of a telephone and you have a law-breaking trifecta the likes of which you don’t often see. The first count alone carries a minimum of 10 years in prison and a maximum of life as well as a $4 million fine. Uh-oh! Normally this is not the side of the criminal struggle you like to see your sheriff operating on, but don’t be so harsh to judge Guerra. After all, he was only added to the indictment after the FBI searched his Rio Grande City offices in early September. So initially he wasn’t even counted among the bad guys in the case, but the FBI just had to throw him in. Guerra appeared before a U.S. magistrate judge in McAllen on Tuesday and was ordered temporarily detained pending a hearing Friday. The government is requesting that he be held without bail until trial, so hi chief deputy will run the department for now. That could be a problem, because who knows if that guy (or girl) is qualified? Can he or she pretend to serve and protect the people of his or her community with one hand while simultaneously helping orchestrate a massive drug-running ring with the other? Betcha didn’t consider that. Plus, Guerra is merely carrying on a great tradition of Starr County sheriffs taking part in drug rings. In 1998, Guerra's predecessor, Sheriff Eugenio "Gene" Falcon Jr., pleaded guilty to conspiracy after an informant posing as a bail bondsman paid Falcon $11,050 in bribes for inmate referrals. Additionally, sheriff’s in three nearby counties have been found guilty of drug-related charges since the mid-1990s. Welcome to south Texas, where the laws are loose and the law enforcement and criminals are one in the same.
- Maybe this will be just the spark that the Boston Red Sox need to propel themselves back into the American League Championship Series. Trailing 3-1 to Tampa Bay and looking to stave off elimination, the Sox are fighting for their playoff lives. The same may also be true of the famed red, white and blue Citgo sign over Fenway Park's Green Monster in left field. The sign, which is a mainstay of the Boston landscape and a visible icon to be see on any game broadcast from Fenway, caught fire Wednesday and in the blaze, some of the plastic panels on the sign melted and blackened. Fortunately, no one was injured, except for the sign of course. Steve MacDonald, a spokesman for the Boston Fire Department, said the flames and smoke, first spotted by bystanders and drivers about noon. Thanks to these good Samaritans, the flames were quickly put out. At this point, it is believed that the blaze was likely caused by an electrical short circuit. Damage to the sign was estimated at $5,000.The 60-foot by 60-foot sign -- situated atop of a building by the ballpark since 1940 -- includes more than 5 miles of neon tubes, lit by 250 high-voltage transformers. It was renovated in 2005 when the company switched it to light-emitting diodes (LEDs). Diodes or neon tubes, I don’t care, just get the sign back to full strength ASAP.
- What to do when you are stuck in the mountains for five days, cut off from civilization and fresh out of necessary supplies? To answer that question, meet Derek Mamoyac of Philomath, Oregon. Derek was climbing southern Washington's Mount Adams five days ago when he suffered with a broken ankle. Mamoyac was unable to call for help and couldn’t move very well, so he ate centipedes and drank water from creeks as he tried to crawl to safety. Earlier today, a dog from a search and rescue team located Mamoyac just below the 6,000-foot level on the west side of the mountain. A rescue helicopter took him to a hospital in Portland, Oregon, where he was listed in fair condition. Over the past five days, Mamoyac managed to add dehydration and swollen legs to his broken ankle, making for an interesting camping story if nothing else. “It's like waking up from a horrible dream,” said his sister, Sophia Mamoyac. Her brother started up the 12,277-foot mountain Sunday for a one-day climb and it wasn’t until Monday that family members reported him missing after he failed to show up for work. According to his rescuers, Derek was in good spirits and relatively good shape after being stranded for five days on the side of a mountain. I have to salute him for his toughness because had that been me, centipedes would not have been on the menu. Plus, although he was wearing water-resistant pants, insulated boots and gloves, Mamoyac admitted to still being very, very cold. “We put all our coats on him, and he was still shivering,” Bartlett said. Leading the charge to find Mamoyac was a rescue team led by Greg Varney with his search dog, Trulee, a golden retriever. Yet another reason to love dogs, finding a guy whose climbing trip turned bad as he was descending after reaching Pike's Peak at 11,657 feet, below the mountain's summit. That’s when Mamoyac stepped in some snow he thought was solid, but it gave way and he broke his right ankle tumbling down the mountain. Proving that mountain climbers are a different (and likely insane) breed, he then spent nearly four days crawling and dragging his feet through the snow. When his knees hurt too much to crawl, he said he would turn around and scoot backward. Varney pointed out that when searches drag on for as long as five days, the end result typically isn’t good. Glad to see this one buck the trend, so bet wishes for a full recovery, Derek….
Thursday, October 16, 2008
The death of the "too fat to execute" defense, an idiot tries to sue God and the Detroit Lions working hard to make my dream season a reality
- Finally. At long last, the “I’m too fat to execute” defense has been defeated and Ohio death row inmate Richard Cooey was put to death Tuesday. His last-ditch effort was turned down after the Supreme Court rejected his last-minute plea that he was too overweight to be put to death. Cooey was pronounced dead at 10:28 a.m. ET, said Andrea Carson, spokeswoman for the Ohio Department of Corrections. Additionally. the execution went as scheduled with “no problems whatsoever.” So I guess that by the very fact that things went according to plan, we found out that Cooey was not, in fact, too fat to be executed. As you might expect, Cooey went out the way you’d expect a convicted killer and despicable human being to go out.
Asked if he had any final words, Cooey snarled, “You haven't paid attention to anything I've had to say for the past 22 years, so why would you think that I would think you're going to pay attention to what I have to say now?” Sounds like someone was a little bitter after the Supreme Court rejected the stay his execution and turned down the opportunity to address larger constitutional claims over when a convicted person is medically unfit for capital punishment. Thus, this world is a better place without that 5-foot-7 and 267 pound tub of goo Cooey. Every court in every step of the appeals process shut him down, so finally the families of the two women he and an accomplice kidnapped, raped and killed got some justice. The lone highlight of Cooey’s stay on death row was when he tried to escape in 2005, when corrections officials said he tried to go all MacGuyver and engineer a ladder from magazines and bed sheets in an effort to scale the barrier around an outdoor recreation area. So long, R. Cooey, you won't be missed……
- Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, it really got out of hand. It jumped up a notch. It did, didn’t it? The NHL season had barely begun and I had barely begun ignoring it, as I always do with hockey, when
the Chicago Blackhawks decided they needed a new coach and fired Denis Savard just four games into the season. Replacing him will be NHL coaching veteran Joel Quenneville. Because of the change, the team canceled its Thursday practice and held an afternoon news conference to announce the move. “I'm disappointed but I guess it's the nature of the business,” Savard said today. “I know I was doing a good job, I'm dedicated to my work. Obviously they felt they had to make a change, so what can you do.” Clearly someone felt you weren’t doing a good job, Savard, otherwise they wouldn’t have fired you. Hockey teams are notorious for changing coaches like no other sport, but even for them a firing after four games is a quick trigger. Savard was in the last year of his contract, but this morning he was contacted by GM Dale Tallon with the bad news. Nice timing, though, as the dismissal came hours after the team won its first game by beating Phoenix 4-1. But it’s hardly surprising from a team that has fallen on hard times in recent years and become one of the worst-run franchises in all of professional sports. However, I’m sure that this move will console and inspire confidence in fans who were already bracing themselves for another crap-tacular season, good times…..
- Kevin Smith never fears pushing the envelope with his movies, whether it’s Clerks or one of his more forgettable efforts like Clerks 2, dude doesn’t shy away from bathroom humor, raunchy jokes and a totally crass, lowest-common-denominator approach to film making. But this time he may have gone too far, making a movie with such a controversial title that he can’t even place ads for it in some places. Many newspaper, TV and outdoor ads for Smith's new comedy “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” have been rejected because of their content or because the word porno is attached to the title, said Gary Faber, head of marketing for the Weinstein Co., which is releasing the film. Among those refusing to carry the ads are 15 newspapers, TV stations and cable channels. One such example was when commercials for the film during Los Angeles Dodgers games on Fox Sports were dropped at the team's request. One complaint came from a man watching a September game in with his young son and while trying to explain to the boy what a squeeze bunt was, then had to explain “what does porno mean.” On the other side of the country in Philadelphia, city officials refused to put up "Zack and Miri" posters at bus stops. Ironically, "Zack and Miri" stars Seth Rogen, who sparked (pun intended) controversy with another recent film, “Pineapple Express,” because of it’s marijuana-centric plot. Some ads for “Zack and Miri” were forbidden by the Motion Picture Association of America, which labeled the ads "highly sexually suggestive and not suitable for general audiences."
Weinstein countered with posters using stick figures to represent the actors, but those too were rejected.
Rina Cutler, Philadelphia deputy mayor for transportation, said that the decision to reject the stick-figure posters came because even though they were cute and clever, they were still unacceptable for bus shelters where schoolchildren would see the word “porno.” All in all, sounds like political correctness run amuck, but
this may not be the worst thing for Smith and the studio. This is one of those situations where controversy should be good, because it will stir up interest in a movie that otherwise most people would likely avoid. People will hear about this movie and be curious, so they’ll see it just to find out for themselves what all of the fuss it about. Makes you wonder if Smith and Wesinstein Co. didn’t know what they were doing in the first place…..
- I see what you’re doing, Detroit Lions, and I like it. No, scratch that, I LOVE it. Already 0-5 and looking every bit bad enough to make my dream of an 0-16 NFL season a reality, the Lions have traded their best player, wide receiver Roy Williams, to the Dallas Cowboys for first, third and fifth-round picks in 2009 draft. This is great news because 1) it makes the Lions a worse team this year, giving them a better look at 0-16. Coupled with news that starting quarterback Jon Kitna is out for the year with an arm injury, losing Williams makes the Lions’ offense significantly worse and thus ups their chances to run the table in reverse. Combine that with a brutal schedule that includes games with Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, Chicago, Tennessee and New Orleans, all playoff contenders, and things are looking good for my dream of Lions not doing what it takes to win for 16 straight games. I know it’s a long season and I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, especially in light of the Dolphins firing out of the gate 0-13 last year and winning their one and only game in overtime in Week 14 against Baltimore thanks to Greg F’ing Camarillo, but I cant help it. The Lions are unquestionably bad enough to get it done, and I’m going to be seriously pissed if they don’t. Heck, their own general manager said, prior to trading Williams, that trading him would signify that the team was giving up on the season. Well, they did trade him so I am going to assume that the Lions have officially given up on the season. Clear path to 0-16, check. The lack of talent to get it done, check. So make it happen, Lions, don’t let me down…..
- So it turns out that you can’t actually sue the Almighty. A judge in Lincoln, Nebraska has thrown out a Nebraska state legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served because of an unlisted home address. That does tend to be a problem, serving God with a lawsuit. Dude never answers the door even if you do find out where he lives. Who is the numb nuts filing such a ridiculous suit, you ask? That would be state Sen. Ernie Chambers, who filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God. It is Chambers’ contention that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." Woah…..didn’t know that the legally insane could be elected to the legislature in Nebraska. Either that or Chambers was peaking on PCP and just really, really paranoid and tripping when he filed the suit. He claims that he filed it to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor. Huh? That is the most bizarre line of reasoning I have ever heard from an insane state legislator attempting to sue God. My man, you didn’t make your point with this charade, you just made a point for anyone who demands that a mental health exam be part of the prerequisites for anyone running for office in your state. Thankfully, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law, a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward. “Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant, this action will be dismissed with prejudice,” Polk wrote. Good call there, Your Honor. A very tough legal decision I’m sure, but you made the right call. but leave it to armchair judge Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, to believe that he's found a hole in the judge's ruling. “The court itself acknowledges the existence of God,” Chambers said Wednesday. “A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience. Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.” Riiiight. Amigo, you lost. And to quote Ron Burgundy, you might want to sit this one out, just stop talking for a while. You may legally have 30 days to decide whether to appeal, but your decision should already be made. While you ma not returning to your seat in the legislature next year because of term limits, there is no reason to make yourself an even bigger punch line than you already are by continuing to pursue this. We get the point, you aren’t a big fan of God, as evidenced by the fact that you skip morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians. Point made, now shut your hole and serve the rest of your term in silence…..
Asked if he had any final words, Cooey snarled, “You haven't paid attention to anything I've had to say for the past 22 years, so why would you think that I would think you're going to pay attention to what I have to say now?” Sounds like someone was a little bitter after the Supreme Court rejected the stay his execution and turned down the opportunity to address larger constitutional claims over when a convicted person is medically unfit for capital punishment. Thus, this world is a better place without that 5-foot-7 and 267 pound tub of goo Cooey. Every court in every step of the appeals process shut him down, so finally the families of the two women he and an accomplice kidnapped, raped and killed got some justice. The lone highlight of Cooey’s stay on death row was when he tried to escape in 2005, when corrections officials said he tried to go all MacGuyver and engineer a ladder from magazines and bed sheets in an effort to scale the barrier around an outdoor recreation area. So long, R. Cooey, you won't be missed……
- Boy, that escalated quickly. I mean, it really got out of hand. It jumped up a notch. It did, didn’t it? The NHL season had barely begun and I had barely begun ignoring it, as I always do with hockey, when
the Chicago Blackhawks decided they needed a new coach and fired Denis Savard just four games into the season. Replacing him will be NHL coaching veteran Joel Quenneville. Because of the change, the team canceled its Thursday practice and held an afternoon news conference to announce the move. “I'm disappointed but I guess it's the nature of the business,” Savard said today. “I know I was doing a good job, I'm dedicated to my work. Obviously they felt they had to make a change, so what can you do.” Clearly someone felt you weren’t doing a good job, Savard, otherwise they wouldn’t have fired you. Hockey teams are notorious for changing coaches like no other sport, but even for them a firing after four games is a quick trigger. Savard was in the last year of his contract, but this morning he was contacted by GM Dale Tallon with the bad news. Nice timing, though, as the dismissal came hours after the team won its first game by beating Phoenix 4-1. But it’s hardly surprising from a team that has fallen on hard times in recent years and become one of the worst-run franchises in all of professional sports. However, I’m sure that this move will console and inspire confidence in fans who were already bracing themselves for another crap-tacular season, good times…..
- Kevin Smith never fears pushing the envelope with his movies, whether it’s Clerks or one of his more forgettable efforts like Clerks 2, dude doesn’t shy away from bathroom humor, raunchy jokes and a totally crass, lowest-common-denominator approach to film making. But this time he may have gone too far, making a movie with such a controversial title that he can’t even place ads for it in some places. Many newspaper, TV and outdoor ads for Smith's new comedy “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” have been rejected because of their content or because the word porno is attached to the title, said Gary Faber, head of marketing for the Weinstein Co., which is releasing the film. Among those refusing to carry the ads are 15 newspapers, TV stations and cable channels. One such example was when commercials for the film during Los Angeles Dodgers games on Fox Sports were dropped at the team's request. One complaint came from a man watching a September game in with his young son and while trying to explain to the boy what a squeeze bunt was, then had to explain “what does porno mean.” On the other side of the country in Philadelphia, city officials refused to put up "Zack and Miri" posters at bus stops. Ironically, "Zack and Miri" stars Seth Rogen, who sparked (pun intended) controversy with another recent film, “Pineapple Express,” because of it’s marijuana-centric plot. Some ads for “Zack and Miri” were forbidden by the Motion Picture Association of America, which labeled the ads "highly sexually suggestive and not suitable for general audiences."
Weinstein countered with posters using stick figures to represent the actors, but those too were rejected.
Rina Cutler, Philadelphia deputy mayor for transportation, said that the decision to reject the stick-figure posters came because even though they were cute and clever, they were still unacceptable for bus shelters where schoolchildren would see the word “porno.” All in all, sounds like political correctness run amuck, but
this may not be the worst thing for Smith and the studio. This is one of those situations where controversy should be good, because it will stir up interest in a movie that otherwise most people would likely avoid. People will hear about this movie and be curious, so they’ll see it just to find out for themselves what all of the fuss it about. Makes you wonder if Smith and Wesinstein Co. didn’t know what they were doing in the first place…..
- I see what you’re doing, Detroit Lions, and I like it. No, scratch that, I LOVE it. Already 0-5 and looking every bit bad enough to make my dream of an 0-16 NFL season a reality, the Lions have traded their best player, wide receiver Roy Williams, to the Dallas Cowboys for first, third and fifth-round picks in 2009 draft. This is great news because 1) it makes the Lions a worse team this year, giving them a better look at 0-16. Coupled with news that starting quarterback Jon Kitna is out for the year with an arm injury, losing Williams makes the Lions’ offense significantly worse and thus ups their chances to run the table in reverse. Combine that with a brutal schedule that includes games with Jacksonville, Tampa Bay, Chicago, Tennessee and New Orleans, all playoff contenders, and things are looking good for my dream of Lions not doing what it takes to win for 16 straight games. I know it’s a long season and I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, especially in light of the Dolphins firing out of the gate 0-13 last year and winning their one and only game in overtime in Week 14 against Baltimore thanks to Greg F’ing Camarillo, but I cant help it. The Lions are unquestionably bad enough to get it done, and I’m going to be seriously pissed if they don’t. Heck, their own general manager said, prior to trading Williams, that trading him would signify that the team was giving up on the season. Well, they did trade him so I am going to assume that the Lions have officially given up on the season. Clear path to 0-16, check. The lack of talent to get it done, check. So make it happen, Lions, don’t let me down…..
- So it turns out that you can’t actually sue the Almighty. A judge in Lincoln, Nebraska has thrown out a Nebraska state legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served because of an unlisted home address. That does tend to be a problem, serving God with a lawsuit. Dude never answers the door even if you do find out where he lives. Who is the numb nuts filing such a ridiculous suit, you ask? That would be state Sen. Ernie Chambers, who filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God. It is Chambers’ contention that God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants." Woah…..didn’t know that the legally insane could be elected to the legislature in Nebraska. Either that or Chambers was peaking on PCP and just really, really paranoid and tripping when he filed the suit. He claims that he filed it to make the point that everyone should have access to the courts regardless of whether they are rich or poor. Huh? That is the most bizarre line of reasoning I have ever heard from an insane state legislator attempting to sue God. My man, you didn’t make your point with this charade, you just made a point for anyone who demands that a mental health exam be part of the prerequisites for anyone running for office in your state. Thankfully, Douglas County District Court Judge Marlon Polk ruled that under state law, a plaintiff must have access to the defendant for a lawsuit to move forward. “Given that this court finds that there can never be service effectuated on the named defendant, this action will be dismissed with prejudice,” Polk wrote. Good call there, Your Honor. A very tough legal decision I’m sure, but you made the right call. but leave it to armchair judge Chambers, who graduated from law school but never took the bar exam, to believe that he's found a hole in the judge's ruling. “The court itself acknowledges the existence of God,” Chambers said Wednesday. “A consequence of that acknowledgment is a recognition of God's omniscience. Since God knows everything, God has notice of this lawsuit.” Riiiight. Amigo, you lost. And to quote Ron Burgundy, you might want to sit this one out, just stop talking for a while. You may legally have 30 days to decide whether to appeal, but your decision should already be made. While you ma not returning to your seat in the legislature next year because of term limits, there is no reason to make yourself an even bigger punch line than you already are by continuing to pursue this. We get the point, you aren’t a big fan of God, as evidenced by the fact that you skip morning prayers during the legislative session and often criticizes Christians. Point made, now shut your hole and serve the rest of your term in silence…..
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A true idiot jock, last night's Greek and a governor who has interesting campaign tactics
- It’s about time someone apologized for putting out a country music album. To be fair, we’re back due on a total of….well, however many country albums have ever been released, that’s how many we’re behind on, but finally, an artist is owning up to his or her crimes against music. That artist would be Tim McGraw, who apologized to fans Tuesday for his latest greatest hits album, saying his label should have instead released a record with new music. Not exactly the apology I was looking for, Timmy, but I’ll take it. “I am saddened and disappointed that my label chose to put out another hits album instead of new music,” says the country singer. “I've only had one studio album since my last hits package. It has to be just as confusing to the fans as it is to me.” Confusing to them, just plain irritating to the rest of us. McGraw, 41, claims that he has been working on a new studio album for more than a year and so far he has debuted three of the new songs on his tour. Despite that, his label, Curb Records, released a greatest hits album instead, to accomplish two things to extend his contract term and make more money from the suckers dumb enough to like country music. Not a good sign when an artist disavows any involvement in one of their own albums, but that’s just what McGraw is doing. “I had no involvement in the creation or presentation of this record,” he says. “Sure, I love the songs and I don't want to take anything away from all the creative people who were a part of making those records. But the whole concept is an embarrassment to me as an artist. In the spirit of an election year, I would simply say to my fans 'I'm Tim McGraw, and I don't approve their message.’” Just curious, though, will you also be refusing to accept and of the profits from this album, T? Or will you gladly cash the check while hypocritically bashing the release of the album? In response to McGraw’s criticisms, Curb Records statement Executive Vice President and General Manager Dennis Hannon says he had “numerous conversations" with McGraw's representatives about "all aspects" of Greatest Hits 3. Whatever…..all I know is that another country album has been foisted upon the world, but at least this time, I have an apology…..
- How about this, United States Supreme Court justices, namely, Chief Justice John Roberts: you all stick to what you do best, namely rendering indefensible and idiotic decisions on important cases and denying the final appeals of death row inmates and leave the creative writing to more qualified people. I say this because on Tuesday Roberts turned a brief dissent in a criminal appeal into something straight out of a cheap, cheesy detective novel. In offering his thoughts about whether a police officer's arrest of a drug suspect was proper, Roberts wrote: “North Philly, May 4, 2001. Officer Sean Devlin, Narcotics Strike Force, was working the morning shift. Undercover surveillance. The neighborhood? Tough as a three-dollar steak. Devlin knew. Five years on the beat, nine months with the Strike Force. He'd made fifteen, twenty drug busts in the neighborhood. Devlin spotted him: a lone man in the corner. Another approached. Quick exchange of words. Cash handed over; small objects handed back. Each man then quickly on his own way. Devlin knew the guy wasn't buying bus tokens. He radioed a description and Officer Stein picked up the buyer. Sure enough: three bags of crack [cocaine] in the guy's pocket. Head downtown and book him. Just another day at the office.” Ahhhh…..hilarious, John. Really, just so, so clever on your part. The reason he was able to flippantly and amateurly write his opinion on a case where in the Pennsylvania Supreme Court tossed out the suspect's conviction on possession of a controlled substance was that seven of Roberts colleagues rejected an opportunity to fully hear the state's appeal. With that in mind, Roberts decided he could go ahead and go all Sam Spade/gumshoe novel. Later on, Roberts did manage to remember that he is a judge on the nation’s highest court, writing, “I think the police clearly had probable cause to arrest the defendant.” Oddly enough, this is a trend for the 53-year-old chief justice, who has previously spiced up his writings with quotes from the likes of Bob Dylan. Props on quoting from “Like a Rolling Stone” in a court case, but how’s about you just stick to legalese from now on, Your Honor? At least pretend to take your job somewhat seriously……
- Love was in the air on last night’s Greek - well, at least feeble attempts to find love. Rusty and Cappie decided that they needed to get back into the dating game. After realizing that he has only dated one girl all year, Rusty decides to attend a speed dating event at Dobler’s and talks Cappie into coming as he tries to get over his breakup with Rebecca Logan. The event proves to be successful for both Rusty and Cappie, who each get matches on half of the girls they checked off as being interested in. For Cappie, that meant 10 of 20; for Rusty that was 2 of 4. But as Rusty’s RA and his sister Casey’s now boyfriend Max pointed out, that meant they had equal rates of success. Cappie ended up using his matches to fill several nights with multiple dates, while Rusty tried traditional dates with each of his two matches and struck out both times. The second date was ruined when, at the local coffee bar, his ex and the girl he’s trying to get over, Jen K., ended up as the server and spilled water all over Rusty because she was so startled to see him. The interruption ruined Rusty’s date, but it did inspire him to call Jen K. and ask her out. The date was going well, despite an annoying Mariachi band at the Mexican restaurant where they ate, but at the end of the night as they were about to hook up in Jen K.’s room, Rusty spotted a framed copy of the article Jen K. wrote back in Season 1 exposing all sorts of raunchy behavior in the Greek system at Cyprus Rhodes. That article hurt Rusty and his Kappa Tau brothers and caused his breakup with Jen K., so seeing it brought up a lot of unresolved issues. That led to Rusty pushing the eject button, declaring that maybe the two didn’t know each other as well as they thought and Jen K. telling him to never call her again. Cappie had better luck with his dates, at least by his standards. He managed to hook up with several girls, prompting a debate between he and Rusty about what college relationships are supposed to be about: lots of casual sex or a more meaningful connection. Rusty’s pal and omega Chi pledge Calvin was also in on the romantic turmoil, questioning his relationship with boyfriend Michael after hooking up with an ex, Heath, last episode. After talking with Omega Chi big brother Evan, Calvin decides to end things with Michael because the two of them are just too different. Michael protests and says Calvin is making a big mistake, but he can’t change the situation. Change is the word of the day over at the Zeta Beta Zeta house as well, with the election for sorority president coming to a close. Casey and arch-nemesis Frannie battle it out, trading lies about who slept with whom, who lied about their past and a bunch of other political tactics designed to sway the sisters. Frannie alleged that Casey slept with Cappie during spring break, while Casey digs up embarrassing pictures of Frannie from high school that prove she lied about her past. Back and forth it goes, right up to the closing speeches, which leave the sisters in an uproar until Casey’s BFF Ashleigh pipes up and pleads for unity. That plea has a bigger effect than she expects because it sways many sisters to stage a write-in campaign that leaves Ashleigh the winner and new president, much to the shock of Casey and Frannie. While Rebecca tells Casey it wasn’t personal and that the sisters and pledges just felt it was time for a change, Casey is devastated. This sets up some major drama in the season’s final two episodes, as Casey and Ashleigh must deal with the new tension between them. A fun episode for the most part, some good laughs but mostly on the serious side. So until next week…..
- This is not what you hope for from your elected officials, behavior-wise. In a move straight out of the Kwame Kilpatrick school of governing, Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons has been sued in federal court by a woman who claimed he made advances and threatened to rape her after having drinks at a Las Vegas restaurant just before the 2006 election. Strange campaigning techniques, to be sure. Typically you want to smooth talk potential voters, tell them how you’re going to lower taxes, build better roads and schools, etc. Threatening to rape them is generally something you want to hold off on, a tactic only to be pulled out in desperate situations. In the lawsuit, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Nevada by an attorney for Chrissy Mazzeo, Gibbons is accused of battery, false imprisonment and second-degree kidnapping and lying about the incident later. Well of course he lied, he’s a politician, we just assume as much…..but I digress. To be fair, the first-term Republican governor has denied any wrongdoing and this lawsuit does come late in the game, two years and one day after the alleged incident. Said incident occurred when Mazzeo worked as a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas. She has since moved to Southern California, so perhaps she needs the money she’s seeking for a new rack or a Botox injection. She alleges that Gibbons pushed her against a wall in a parking garage, then propositioned her for sex near the restaurant where the two had been drinking with a group on the night of October 13, 2006. Hmm, does that sound like a politician to you? I’m saying yes. But
Gibbons managed to win election as governor in despite the well-publicized accusations. Not long thereafter,
Clark County District Attorney David Roger announced that Gibbons would not be prosecuted because there was insufficient evidence to prove criminal charges “beyond a reasonable doubt.” However, the lack of criminal charges doesn’t preclude a civil lawsuit, so Mazzeo and Las Vegas attorney Robert Kossack can absolutely allege a parking lot exchange between Mazzeo and Gibbons during which Gibbons allegedly told Mazzeo: “I'm going to rape you.” Also according to the suit, Mazzeo resisted, asked if Gibbons was serious and was told “This isn't what I want from you. You have two choices. You can try to run away or you can let this happen.” So what is the governor selling as his story?, Gibbons said he merely caught Mazzeo when she tripped in the parking garage. Oh, okay, I understand, she tripped and you caught her, yet she interpreted that as you throwing her against a wall and threatening to rape her. I can see how that type of occurrence could be easily misinterpreted. It will be interesting to see where this case goes, because clearly someone is not only lying, they’re telling a whopper of a lie. Stay tuned…….
- Congratulations, Will Yeatman, for proving that at least some of the time, stereotypes about football players being dumb, IQ-deprived jocks are true. The Notre Dame football team has decided to move on without Yeatman for the second time in a year because the junior tight end has been suspended from all football activity for the remainder of the season by the school's Office of Residence Life. Why would he be in that kind of trouble, you ask? Well, because on Sept. 21, Yeatman was arrested at an off-campus party. The arrest follows Yeatman serving a previous suspension from the Irish football and lacrosse teams during the spring semester following a January arrest for operating a vehicle under the influence. Call me crazy, but it sounds like dude has a serious alcohol problem, what with two alcohol-related arrests in one year. But at least he turned in a stellar 2008 season, playing a whopping three games played. That tends to happen when you get arrested two times in one year, the second arrest being on a misdemeanor charge of underage alcohol consumption. That Yeatman was, at least according to his father, Dennis, only rocking a .02 blood alcohol content at the time of the arrest, doesn’t seem to matter to coach Charlie Weis and staff. As for Yeatman's future at Notre Dame, Yeatman does not plan to transfer, which may leave him with one year of football eligibility. Why not two years, given that he played less than the one-fourth of the season usually allowed by the NCAA for a player to take a redshirt year? Well, NCAA bylaw 14.2.4 states that fifth-year hardship waivers are granted only for “incapacity resulting from injury or illness” under specific circumstances. I’m sorry, but getting busted for underage drinking and suspended by your team doesn’t qualify? Gosh, what a bunch of hard asses at the NCAA offices. You all act like dude made the decision to drink all by himself and that he knew he couldn’t drink legally…..just an all-around sad story…..
- How about this, United States Supreme Court justices, namely, Chief Justice John Roberts: you all stick to what you do best, namely rendering indefensible and idiotic decisions on important cases and denying the final appeals of death row inmates and leave the creative writing to more qualified people. I say this because on Tuesday Roberts turned a brief dissent in a criminal appeal into something straight out of a cheap, cheesy detective novel. In offering his thoughts about whether a police officer's arrest of a drug suspect was proper, Roberts wrote: “North Philly, May 4, 2001. Officer Sean Devlin, Narcotics Strike Force, was working the morning shift. Undercover surveillance. The neighborhood? Tough as a three-dollar steak. Devlin knew. Five years on the beat, nine months with the Strike Force. He'd made fifteen, twenty drug busts in the neighborhood. Devlin spotted him: a lone man in the corner. Another approached. Quick exchange of words. Cash handed over; small objects handed back. Each man then quickly on his own way. Devlin knew the guy wasn't buying bus tokens. He radioed a description and Officer Stein picked up the buyer. Sure enough: three bags of crack [cocaine] in the guy's pocket. Head downtown and book him. Just another day at the office.” Ahhhh…..hilarious, John. Really, just so, so clever on your part. The reason he was able to flippantly and amateurly write his opinion on a case where in the Pennsylvania Supreme Court tossed out the suspect's conviction on possession of a controlled substance was that seven of Roberts colleagues rejected an opportunity to fully hear the state's appeal. With that in mind, Roberts decided he could go ahead and go all Sam Spade/gumshoe novel. Later on, Roberts did manage to remember that he is a judge on the nation’s highest court, writing, “I think the police clearly had probable cause to arrest the defendant.” Oddly enough, this is a trend for the 53-year-old chief justice, who has previously spiced up his writings with quotes from the likes of Bob Dylan. Props on quoting from “Like a Rolling Stone” in a court case, but how’s about you just stick to legalese from now on, Your Honor? At least pretend to take your job somewhat seriously……
- Love was in the air on last night’s Greek - well, at least feeble attempts to find love. Rusty and Cappie decided that they needed to get back into the dating game. After realizing that he has only dated one girl all year, Rusty decides to attend a speed dating event at Dobler’s and talks Cappie into coming as he tries to get over his breakup with Rebecca Logan. The event proves to be successful for both Rusty and Cappie, who each get matches on half of the girls they checked off as being interested in. For Cappie, that meant 10 of 20; for Rusty that was 2 of 4. But as Rusty’s RA and his sister Casey’s now boyfriend Max pointed out, that meant they had equal rates of success. Cappie ended up using his matches to fill several nights with multiple dates, while Rusty tried traditional dates with each of his two matches and struck out both times. The second date was ruined when, at the local coffee bar, his ex and the girl he’s trying to get over, Jen K., ended up as the server and spilled water all over Rusty because she was so startled to see him. The interruption ruined Rusty’s date, but it did inspire him to call Jen K. and ask her out. The date was going well, despite an annoying Mariachi band at the Mexican restaurant where they ate, but at the end of the night as they were about to hook up in Jen K.’s room, Rusty spotted a framed copy of the article Jen K. wrote back in Season 1 exposing all sorts of raunchy behavior in the Greek system at Cyprus Rhodes. That article hurt Rusty and his Kappa Tau brothers and caused his breakup with Jen K., so seeing it brought up a lot of unresolved issues. That led to Rusty pushing the eject button, declaring that maybe the two didn’t know each other as well as they thought and Jen K. telling him to never call her again. Cappie had better luck with his dates, at least by his standards. He managed to hook up with several girls, prompting a debate between he and Rusty about what college relationships are supposed to be about: lots of casual sex or a more meaningful connection. Rusty’s pal and omega Chi pledge Calvin was also in on the romantic turmoil, questioning his relationship with boyfriend Michael after hooking up with an ex, Heath, last episode. After talking with Omega Chi big brother Evan, Calvin decides to end things with Michael because the two of them are just too different. Michael protests and says Calvin is making a big mistake, but he can’t change the situation. Change is the word of the day over at the Zeta Beta Zeta house as well, with the election for sorority president coming to a close. Casey and arch-nemesis Frannie battle it out, trading lies about who slept with whom, who lied about their past and a bunch of other political tactics designed to sway the sisters. Frannie alleged that Casey slept with Cappie during spring break, while Casey digs up embarrassing pictures of Frannie from high school that prove she lied about her past. Back and forth it goes, right up to the closing speeches, which leave the sisters in an uproar until Casey’s BFF Ashleigh pipes up and pleads for unity. That plea has a bigger effect than she expects because it sways many sisters to stage a write-in campaign that leaves Ashleigh the winner and new president, much to the shock of Casey and Frannie. While Rebecca tells Casey it wasn’t personal and that the sisters and pledges just felt it was time for a change, Casey is devastated. This sets up some major drama in the season’s final two episodes, as Casey and Ashleigh must deal with the new tension between them. A fun episode for the most part, some good laughs but mostly on the serious side. So until next week…..
- This is not what you hope for from your elected officials, behavior-wise. In a move straight out of the Kwame Kilpatrick school of governing, Nevada Gov. Jim Gibbons has been sued in federal court by a woman who claimed he made advances and threatened to rape her after having drinks at a Las Vegas restaurant just before the 2006 election. Strange campaigning techniques, to be sure. Typically you want to smooth talk potential voters, tell them how you’re going to lower taxes, build better roads and schools, etc. Threatening to rape them is generally something you want to hold off on, a tactic only to be pulled out in desperate situations. In the lawsuit, filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court in Nevada by an attorney for Chrissy Mazzeo, Gibbons is accused of battery, false imprisonment and second-degree kidnapping and lying about the incident later. Well of course he lied, he’s a politician, we just assume as much…..but I digress. To be fair, the first-term Republican governor has denied any wrongdoing and this lawsuit does come late in the game, two years and one day after the alleged incident. Said incident occurred when Mazzeo worked as a cocktail waitress in Las Vegas. She has since moved to Southern California, so perhaps she needs the money she’s seeking for a new rack or a Botox injection. She alleges that Gibbons pushed her against a wall in a parking garage, then propositioned her for sex near the restaurant where the two had been drinking with a group on the night of October 13, 2006. Hmm, does that sound like a politician to you? I’m saying yes. But
Gibbons managed to win election as governor in despite the well-publicized accusations. Not long thereafter,
Clark County District Attorney David Roger announced that Gibbons would not be prosecuted because there was insufficient evidence to prove criminal charges “beyond a reasonable doubt.” However, the lack of criminal charges doesn’t preclude a civil lawsuit, so Mazzeo and Las Vegas attorney Robert Kossack can absolutely allege a parking lot exchange between Mazzeo and Gibbons during which Gibbons allegedly told Mazzeo: “I'm going to rape you.” Also according to the suit, Mazzeo resisted, asked if Gibbons was serious and was told “This isn't what I want from you. You have two choices. You can try to run away or you can let this happen.” So what is the governor selling as his story?, Gibbons said he merely caught Mazzeo when she tripped in the parking garage. Oh, okay, I understand, she tripped and you caught her, yet she interpreted that as you throwing her against a wall and threatening to rape her. I can see how that type of occurrence could be easily misinterpreted. It will be interesting to see where this case goes, because clearly someone is not only lying, they’re telling a whopper of a lie. Stay tuned…….
- Congratulations, Will Yeatman, for proving that at least some of the time, stereotypes about football players being dumb, IQ-deprived jocks are true. The Notre Dame football team has decided to move on without Yeatman for the second time in a year because the junior tight end has been suspended from all football activity for the remainder of the season by the school's Office of Residence Life. Why would he be in that kind of trouble, you ask? Well, because on Sept. 21, Yeatman was arrested at an off-campus party. The arrest follows Yeatman serving a previous suspension from the Irish football and lacrosse teams during the spring semester following a January arrest for operating a vehicle under the influence. Call me crazy, but it sounds like dude has a serious alcohol problem, what with two alcohol-related arrests in one year. But at least he turned in a stellar 2008 season, playing a whopping three games played. That tends to happen when you get arrested two times in one year, the second arrest being on a misdemeanor charge of underage alcohol consumption. That Yeatman was, at least according to his father, Dennis, only rocking a .02 blood alcohol content at the time of the arrest, doesn’t seem to matter to coach Charlie Weis and staff. As for Yeatman's future at Notre Dame, Yeatman does not plan to transfer, which may leave him with one year of football eligibility. Why not two years, given that he played less than the one-fourth of the season usually allowed by the NCAA for a player to take a redshirt year? Well, NCAA bylaw 14.2.4 states that fifth-year hardship waivers are granted only for “incapacity resulting from injury or illness” under specific circumstances. I’m sorry, but getting busted for underage drinking and suspended by your team doesn’t qualify? Gosh, what a bunch of hard asses at the NCAA offices. You all act like dude made the decision to drink all by himself and that he knew he couldn’t drink legally…..just an all-around sad story…..
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A Heroes recap, the final 100 days of a reign of ineptitude and I give out free contractual advice to NBAers
- Well maybe I don’t want your freaking autograph anyhow, Ringo Starr. The oft-temperamental, cranky former Beatle delivered a shot across the bow of his loyal fans this week in a video posted on his Web site, wherein Starr says he will no longer sign fan mail or memorabilia. “I want to tell you please... do not send fan mail to any address that you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that is the date on the envelope, it's gonna be tossed. I'm warning you with peace and love I have too much to do. So no more fan mail, thank you, thank you, and no objects to be signed. Nothing,” the 68-year-old ranted. And while adding “please” might make the message seem a little gentler, Starr undid that by saying explicitly that it was "a serious message to everybody watching.” Quite a turnaround for a guy who once starred in an episode of 'The Simpsons' which showed him answering every piece of fan mail and saying on that show, “They took the time to write to me, and I don't care if it takes 20 years, I'm going to answer every one of them.” Hey Ringo, if you don’t want fans to contact you, then why do you keep putting out albums? By its very nature, music is supposed to make a connection from the artist to the listener, yet here you are putting out new music, expecting people to buy it and then asking them to not contact you. Seems a bit contradictory, no? Perhaps you should have released that new album called Liverpool 8 earlier this year. , divides his time between homes in Los Angeles, the South of France and Surrey. Also, you may not want to ever come back to L.A. if you really hate attention, because L.A. just isn’t the type of place you go to escaper prying eyes. in summation, I suppose my message is that you are an ungrateful, hypocritical bastard who used to be part of one of the truly legendary acts in music but is now just a crotchety old crank……
- Stiff is the fine if you lie to the Golden State Warriors about the true cause of your injury. Teams are never kind to players who injure themselves while participating in activities prohibited or discouraged by their contracts, things like riding motorcycles, skydiving, etc., but the Warriors apparently take things more seriously than most. The team is punishing Monta Ellis by suspending the injured guard for 30 games without pay Saturday for violating his lucrative new contract by getting into a moped accident. All of this comes after Ellis agreed to a six-year deal worth $66 million in July, making him one of the franchise’s highest-paid players ever. He then rewarded the team’s faith in him by severely spraining his ankle in a low-speed moped crash in late August. As a result of the suspension, Ellis will lose nearly $3 million in salary. On the judicious side, the Warriors did count four preseason games in the suspension's length, so they’re not being total hard asses and Ellis can now return after the Warriors’ 26th regular-season game on Dec. 17.
Further mitigating the severity of the punishment is the fact that Ellis recently underwent surgery to repair a torn ligament and was unlikely to return before Dec. 17 anyhow. So he does lose $3 million, but what is $3 million to a guy who is due $63 million more in guaranteed money - assuming he doesn’t go knucklehead again and violate his contract by bungee jumping or popping a wheelie on his moped. But Monta, for future reference, go ahead and familiarize yourself with the following, the portion of your contract the team cited in handing down this punishment: Paragraph 12 of the NBA's uniform player contract, which prohibits a player from engaging "in any activity that a reasonable person would recognize as involving or exposing the participant to a substantial risk of bodily injury," including “driving or riding a motorcycle or moped.” Any other legal or contractual questions, you know where to find me…….
- Quite the mind-bending episode of Heroes last night, throwing everything you thought you knew for a loop. For starts, the confrontation between Peter Petrelli and Sylar that took place on Level 5 of Company headquarters last week started things off, with Peter’s mother Angela stepping in to stop the fight. But when she does, Peter turns on her and demands that she tell him what secrets she’s been hiding. She resists his atrempts to read her mind, leading Peter to start slicing her head open with his telepathic magic finger. Peter is stopped when Sylar recovers, heals using one of his powers and gets up off the ground, turning the telepathy on Peter and flinging him into the wall. Once Peter was subdued, Angela placed him in a medically induced coma to prevent another attack, but that was far from the end of her troubles. Her other son Nathan was with his new girlfriend and confidant Tracy Strauss, and she passed along some information that set off a Petrelli family implosion. While sharing with Nathan that she had accidentally killed a man with her power to freeze things, she told him about a doctor in Recida, California who had made her the way she is, with powers. When Nathan learns about Dr. Zimmerman and that he worked for the Company, he and Tracy head straight for New York and a meeting with Angela. At the meeting, Angela reveals that not only is Tracy a genetically engineered being with superpowers, so is Nathan and so are many others. The formula used to make them that way is the very formula that Hiro Nakamura allowed both halves of to be stolen by speedster Daphne Millbrook for the mystery employer she keeps referring to. An irate Nathan storms out of the office after refusing to help his mother track down the stolen formula and allegedly prevent the world from a cataclysmic destruction. And still the nightmares continue for Angela…..literally. She’s gripped by a vivid nightmare while sitting at her desk, imagining that Nathan, Tracy and Peter have all been murdered and she is then confronted by a mysterious man who says she can’t stop him because she won’t even be able to move. We find out who that man is later, but before that we find Hiro Nakamura and sidekick Ando having to work with the man they took down and imprisoned in a coffin last season, Adam Monroe. Once Adam is freed and realizes that Hiro will keep teleporting him back into the coffin unless he cooperates, says he has an idea to help figure out who is stealing the formula and why. Adam takes Hiro and Ando to a bar he claims is the place to go for “specials” (people with abilities) looking for work. That claim turns out to be a ruse when Adam picks a fight with the bartender, ducks a punch and ends up getting Hiro knocked out so he can escape. When Hiro comes to, he and Ando can’t find Adam, but Adam doesn’t get away because he is instead captured by Knox, one of the Level 5 escapees now working for the same mystery employer Daphne is working for. Someone who isn’t working for anything or anyone other than his own selfish, maniacal interests is Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who is becoming more and more bizarre after injecting himself with a serum in the season premiere that was designed to give him his own super powers. Instead, the formula has turned him into some sort of molting, disgusting, nasty insect-man who encases people in cocoons of spider-like silk on his walls. Those so imprisoned include his nosy, spouse-abusing neighbor, a drug dealer from Central Park and when she confronts Mohinder about his recent behavior, even his girlfriend/lover Maya. Personally, this is one storyline I could do without, mostly because I don’t enjoy the creepy, crawly, molting bug-man angle. Thankfully there were bigger fish to fry, including the one that Claire Bennet was looking for as she went through her father, H.R.G.’s, old Company files and found so-called villains with super powers who had hurt people. Claire found one, Steven Canfield, who lived near her in Costa Verde and went after him only to find that Canfield wasn’t a bad person, he’d just made one mistake and used his power to send a neighbor into a vortex, never to return, during an argument. After initially looking to capture Canfield, Claire turns around and tries to help him get back together with his family, only to be stopped when her father and his new partner Sylar show up. Claire is hurt and alarmed, but she, Sylar and H.R.G. are soon in trouble together when Canfield creates a vortex threatening to suck them all up and then escapes. Claire survives thanks to help from Sylar, the very man who assaulted her and copied her power to heal earlier this season. When he tries to make amends, Claire and her father want none of it. Instead, they follow Canfield to the Griffith Park carousel, where H.R.G. offers to let Canfield go instead of returning him to Level 5 - if he sends Sylar into one of his vortexes and thus banishes him for all of eternity. Canfield refuses, saying he won’t be a monster and electing to send himself into a vortex rather than hurt anyone else. After the ride back to the Bennet home, H.R.G. tells Claire he’s doing what is necessary to protect her and the family, the same line he’s always sold. Helping people isn’t what Claire’s birth mother, the flame-maker Meredith has in mind. She leaves the Bennet home, where she’s been staying to protect Claire and family during H.R.G.’s absence, to ostensibly find Claire. Instead, she goes to see a man with powers known as the Puppet Man, for what looks to be sinister business. The Puppet Man, a.k.a. Eric Doyle, and Meredith share a nice meal in a creepy room full of marionettes, after which he forces her to kiss him. The Puppet Man will be a bigger part of next week’s episode, so more of him to come. The big news of the episode was who is responsible for the bizarre appearances of the dead Linderman and who is the mystery man paying Daphne to steal the formula, among other things. We find out who he is after Linderman offers Daphne a new job recruiting people to join a mysterious organization, one designed to supposedly help save the world. Daphne and Knox are part of it, and Linderman asks Daphne to recruit Hiro, Matt Parkman, Mohinder Suresh and others. Hiro obliges and shocks us all by agreeing to kill Ando to get in, although with his ability to move through space and time, you have to assume he’ll go back and reverse that. But Daphne does her job, only to realize that Linderman isn’t real; he’s a vision, an apparition. Yet she continues working under his orders, orders that we then learn are actually coming through Maury, Matt Parkman’s dad and the man with the ability to control people’s mind and put thoughts into their heads or make them see their worst nightmares. It has been Maury making Nathan Petrelli see Linderman all season and Daphne see him too. Maury is working for a man who is bed-ridden and mute, but with whom he can still conversate telepathically, a man at the head of a company called Pinehearst, a company Steven Canfield initially thought Claire was from. We see this man lying in bed and don’t know who he is at first, only that he is the one organizing the team for Pinehearst, the team of people with abilities to wage a battle yet to come. In the final minute of the episode, it’s finally revealed that this man is….Mr. Petrelli, Angela’s husband and Nathan and Peter’s father, the man who allegedly died before his sons could take him down in a legal battle for his many crimes and deceptions in Season 1. How did he survive? What is his power, how is he using it and what for? Lots of big questions raised, answers to come in the weeks ahead….
- I never thought we would make it here. No, literally, I thought somehow, some way, the United States of America would cease to exist in some manner under the inept, inadequate, incompetent rule of W. Dude made the Enron boys look like pros by comparison, yet here we are, still alive and ticking as a nation as W. begins his final 100 days in office as of Sunday. Yes, in just over three months, our worst president (and nightmare) ever will be gone, and although the effects of his abortion of a rule will be felt for years to come, at least he won’t be able to do any more damage - at least I don’t think so. After presiding over the bleakest economic downturn in decades, there’s just no way to be sure. W. claims that during his last three months of incompetence that he will reassure the nation that an abysmal economic period will give way to better days. He intends to keep speaking about the economy, even if no one is listening to him. His final act on this front will be overseeing the $700 billion buyout of devalued assets from banks in attempt to stem the tide of financial despair gripping the country. “It looks like I'm going to have a lot of work to do between today and when the new president takes office,” Bush said this past week. I’d say so, what with you leaving behind a national debt that has soared from less than $6 trillion when you took office to more than $10 trillion now, W. But I guess we wont be seeing that Mideast peace deal built around the outlines of Palestinian state you said you’d accomplish, nor will be see North Korea of get rid its nuclear arms like you vowed to help bring about. In other words, more of the same crap we’ve been seeing since you took office in 2000, and no one expects any different. In fact, I’d be kinda disappointed if it went down any other way……
- I knew it! Yahooooo! I won the office pool for betting on how long Pacman Jones would last before he did something stupid and was suspended by the NFL again. It was 41 days, just what I put my money down for! It’s life’s most bankable certainty, that sooner or later, Pacman is going to go Pacman and run afoul of the law and the NFL. Sure enough, after being reinstated prior to the start of this season and pledging to turn over a new leaf, Pac did what he always does, this time getting into an alcohol-fueled brawl with one of his team-furnished security guards at a Dallas hotel last week. While no charges will be filed legally speaking because the security guard is under orders from the Cowboys to keep his mouth shut, er, the incident was nothing substantial, the NFL doesn’t see things that way. Because Pacman has been involved in no less than a dozen - A DOZEN - incidents with the law since being drafted by Tennesse in 2005 (Strip club incident Where: Atlanta When: April 2005, Hotel incident Where: Nashville When: June 2005, Nightclub arrest Where: Nashville When: July 2005 Vehicle confiscation Where: Nashville
When: April 2006, Shots fired Where: Nashville When: April 2006, Nightclub arrest Where: Murfreesboro, Tenn. When: Aug. 2006, Spitting incident Where: Nashville When: October 2006, Triple shooting Where: Las Vegas When: February 2007, Hotel scuffle Where: Dallas When: October 2008) after a college career marreed by similar legal issues, the NFL has suspended him for at least four games for his most recent violation of the league's personal conduct policy. The league based its decision on the fact that Jones was involved in an alcohol-related incident at a Dallas hotel on Oct. 8 for which police were called. The suspension will be unpaid, and commissioner Roger Goodell will determine the ultimate length of Jones' suspension following Dallas’ game against Washington on Nov. 16. “He does need to address the kinds of things that seem to be with him at various times and one of those that he's dealt with for a really long time, he needs to address in a way that most of us might understand -- alcohol issues," Cowboys owner Jerry Jones stated in response to the situation. Well, alcohol issues and being a freaking moron with the IQ of a chia pet, Jer. Unfortunately, while it may be possible for Pacman to lick his liquor addiction, I don’t think he’s going to be able to shake the fact that he’s a moron……
- Stiff is the fine if you lie to the Golden State Warriors about the true cause of your injury. Teams are never kind to players who injure themselves while participating in activities prohibited or discouraged by their contracts, things like riding motorcycles, skydiving, etc., but the Warriors apparently take things more seriously than most. The team is punishing Monta Ellis by suspending the injured guard for 30 games without pay Saturday for violating his lucrative new contract by getting into a moped accident. All of this comes after Ellis agreed to a six-year deal worth $66 million in July, making him one of the franchise’s highest-paid players ever. He then rewarded the team’s faith in him by severely spraining his ankle in a low-speed moped crash in late August. As a result of the suspension, Ellis will lose nearly $3 million in salary. On the judicious side, the Warriors did count four preseason games in the suspension's length, so they’re not being total hard asses and Ellis can now return after the Warriors’ 26th regular-season game on Dec. 17.
Further mitigating the severity of the punishment is the fact that Ellis recently underwent surgery to repair a torn ligament and was unlikely to return before Dec. 17 anyhow. So he does lose $3 million, but what is $3 million to a guy who is due $63 million more in guaranteed money - assuming he doesn’t go knucklehead again and violate his contract by bungee jumping or popping a wheelie on his moped. But Monta, for future reference, go ahead and familiarize yourself with the following, the portion of your contract the team cited in handing down this punishment: Paragraph 12 of the NBA's uniform player contract, which prohibits a player from engaging "in any activity that a reasonable person would recognize as involving or exposing the participant to a substantial risk of bodily injury," including “driving or riding a motorcycle or moped.” Any other legal or contractual questions, you know where to find me…….
- Quite the mind-bending episode of Heroes last night, throwing everything you thought you knew for a loop. For starts, the confrontation between Peter Petrelli and Sylar that took place on Level 5 of Company headquarters last week started things off, with Peter’s mother Angela stepping in to stop the fight. But when she does, Peter turns on her and demands that she tell him what secrets she’s been hiding. She resists his atrempts to read her mind, leading Peter to start slicing her head open with his telepathic magic finger. Peter is stopped when Sylar recovers, heals using one of his powers and gets up off the ground, turning the telepathy on Peter and flinging him into the wall. Once Peter was subdued, Angela placed him in a medically induced coma to prevent another attack, but that was far from the end of her troubles. Her other son Nathan was with his new girlfriend and confidant Tracy Strauss, and she passed along some information that set off a Petrelli family implosion. While sharing with Nathan that she had accidentally killed a man with her power to freeze things, she told him about a doctor in Recida, California who had made her the way she is, with powers. When Nathan learns about Dr. Zimmerman and that he worked for the Company, he and Tracy head straight for New York and a meeting with Angela. At the meeting, Angela reveals that not only is Tracy a genetically engineered being with superpowers, so is Nathan and so are many others. The formula used to make them that way is the very formula that Hiro Nakamura allowed both halves of to be stolen by speedster Daphne Millbrook for the mystery employer she keeps referring to. An irate Nathan storms out of the office after refusing to help his mother track down the stolen formula and allegedly prevent the world from a cataclysmic destruction. And still the nightmares continue for Angela…..literally. She’s gripped by a vivid nightmare while sitting at her desk, imagining that Nathan, Tracy and Peter have all been murdered and she is then confronted by a mysterious man who says she can’t stop him because she won’t even be able to move. We find out who that man is later, but before that we find Hiro Nakamura and sidekick Ando having to work with the man they took down and imprisoned in a coffin last season, Adam Monroe. Once Adam is freed and realizes that Hiro will keep teleporting him back into the coffin unless he cooperates, says he has an idea to help figure out who is stealing the formula and why. Adam takes Hiro and Ando to a bar he claims is the place to go for “specials” (people with abilities) looking for work. That claim turns out to be a ruse when Adam picks a fight with the bartender, ducks a punch and ends up getting Hiro knocked out so he can escape. When Hiro comes to, he and Ando can’t find Adam, but Adam doesn’t get away because he is instead captured by Knox, one of the Level 5 escapees now working for the same mystery employer Daphne is working for. Someone who isn’t working for anything or anyone other than his own selfish, maniacal interests is Dr. Mohinder Suresh, who is becoming more and more bizarre after injecting himself with a serum in the season premiere that was designed to give him his own super powers. Instead, the formula has turned him into some sort of molting, disgusting, nasty insect-man who encases people in cocoons of spider-like silk on his walls. Those so imprisoned include his nosy, spouse-abusing neighbor, a drug dealer from Central Park and when she confronts Mohinder about his recent behavior, even his girlfriend/lover Maya. Personally, this is one storyline I could do without, mostly because I don’t enjoy the creepy, crawly, molting bug-man angle. Thankfully there were bigger fish to fry, including the one that Claire Bennet was looking for as she went through her father, H.R.G.’s, old Company files and found so-called villains with super powers who had hurt people. Claire found one, Steven Canfield, who lived near her in Costa Verde and went after him only to find that Canfield wasn’t a bad person, he’d just made one mistake and used his power to send a neighbor into a vortex, never to return, during an argument. After initially looking to capture Canfield, Claire turns around and tries to help him get back together with his family, only to be stopped when her father and his new partner Sylar show up. Claire is hurt and alarmed, but she, Sylar and H.R.G. are soon in trouble together when Canfield creates a vortex threatening to suck them all up and then escapes. Claire survives thanks to help from Sylar, the very man who assaulted her and copied her power to heal earlier this season. When he tries to make amends, Claire and her father want none of it. Instead, they follow Canfield to the Griffith Park carousel, where H.R.G. offers to let Canfield go instead of returning him to Level 5 - if he sends Sylar into one of his vortexes and thus banishes him for all of eternity. Canfield refuses, saying he won’t be a monster and electing to send himself into a vortex rather than hurt anyone else. After the ride back to the Bennet home, H.R.G. tells Claire he’s doing what is necessary to protect her and the family, the same line he’s always sold. Helping people isn’t what Claire’s birth mother, the flame-maker Meredith has in mind. She leaves the Bennet home, where she’s been staying to protect Claire and family during H.R.G.’s absence, to ostensibly find Claire. Instead, she goes to see a man with powers known as the Puppet Man, for what looks to be sinister business. The Puppet Man, a.k.a. Eric Doyle, and Meredith share a nice meal in a creepy room full of marionettes, after which he forces her to kiss him. The Puppet Man will be a bigger part of next week’s episode, so more of him to come. The big news of the episode was who is responsible for the bizarre appearances of the dead Linderman and who is the mystery man paying Daphne to steal the formula, among other things. We find out who he is after Linderman offers Daphne a new job recruiting people to join a mysterious organization, one designed to supposedly help save the world. Daphne and Knox are part of it, and Linderman asks Daphne to recruit Hiro, Matt Parkman, Mohinder Suresh and others. Hiro obliges and shocks us all by agreeing to kill Ando to get in, although with his ability to move through space and time, you have to assume he’ll go back and reverse that. But Daphne does her job, only to realize that Linderman isn’t real; he’s a vision, an apparition. Yet she continues working under his orders, orders that we then learn are actually coming through Maury, Matt Parkman’s dad and the man with the ability to control people’s mind and put thoughts into their heads or make them see their worst nightmares. It has been Maury making Nathan Petrelli see Linderman all season and Daphne see him too. Maury is working for a man who is bed-ridden and mute, but with whom he can still conversate telepathically, a man at the head of a company called Pinehearst, a company Steven Canfield initially thought Claire was from. We see this man lying in bed and don’t know who he is at first, only that he is the one organizing the team for Pinehearst, the team of people with abilities to wage a battle yet to come. In the final minute of the episode, it’s finally revealed that this man is….Mr. Petrelli, Angela’s husband and Nathan and Peter’s father, the man who allegedly died before his sons could take him down in a legal battle for his many crimes and deceptions in Season 1. How did he survive? What is his power, how is he using it and what for? Lots of big questions raised, answers to come in the weeks ahead….
- I never thought we would make it here. No, literally, I thought somehow, some way, the United States of America would cease to exist in some manner under the inept, inadequate, incompetent rule of W. Dude made the Enron boys look like pros by comparison, yet here we are, still alive and ticking as a nation as W. begins his final 100 days in office as of Sunday. Yes, in just over three months, our worst president (and nightmare) ever will be gone, and although the effects of his abortion of a rule will be felt for years to come, at least he won’t be able to do any more damage - at least I don’t think so. After presiding over the bleakest economic downturn in decades, there’s just no way to be sure. W. claims that during his last three months of incompetence that he will reassure the nation that an abysmal economic period will give way to better days. He intends to keep speaking about the economy, even if no one is listening to him. His final act on this front will be overseeing the $700 billion buyout of devalued assets from banks in attempt to stem the tide of financial despair gripping the country. “It looks like I'm going to have a lot of work to do between today and when the new president takes office,” Bush said this past week. I’d say so, what with you leaving behind a national debt that has soared from less than $6 trillion when you took office to more than $10 trillion now, W. But I guess we wont be seeing that Mideast peace deal built around the outlines of Palestinian state you said you’d accomplish, nor will be see North Korea of get rid its nuclear arms like you vowed to help bring about. In other words, more of the same crap we’ve been seeing since you took office in 2000, and no one expects any different. In fact, I’d be kinda disappointed if it went down any other way……
- I knew it! Yahooooo! I won the office pool for betting on how long Pacman Jones would last before he did something stupid and was suspended by the NFL again. It was 41 days, just what I put my money down for! It’s life’s most bankable certainty, that sooner or later, Pacman is going to go Pacman and run afoul of the law and the NFL. Sure enough, after being reinstated prior to the start of this season and pledging to turn over a new leaf, Pac did what he always does, this time getting into an alcohol-fueled brawl with one of his team-furnished security guards at a Dallas hotel last week. While no charges will be filed legally speaking because the security guard is under orders from the Cowboys to keep his mouth shut, er, the incident was nothing substantial, the NFL doesn’t see things that way. Because Pacman has been involved in no less than a dozen - A DOZEN - incidents with the law since being drafted by Tennesse in 2005 (Strip club incident Where: Atlanta When: April 2005, Hotel incident Where: Nashville When: June 2005, Nightclub arrest Where: Nashville When: July 2005 Vehicle confiscation Where: Nashville
When: April 2006, Shots fired Where: Nashville When: April 2006, Nightclub arrest Where: Murfreesboro, Tenn. When: Aug. 2006, Spitting incident Where: Nashville When: October 2006, Triple shooting Where: Las Vegas When: February 2007, Hotel scuffle Where: Dallas When: October 2008) after a college career marreed by similar legal issues, the NFL has suspended him for at least four games for his most recent violation of the league's personal conduct policy. The league based its decision on the fact that Jones was involved in an alcohol-related incident at a Dallas hotel on Oct. 8 for which police were called. The suspension will be unpaid, and commissioner Roger Goodell will determine the ultimate length of Jones' suspension following Dallas’ game against Washington on Nov. 16. “He does need to address the kinds of things that seem to be with him at various times and one of those that he's dealt with for a really long time, he needs to address in a way that most of us might understand -- alcohol issues," Cowboys owner Jerry Jones stated in response to the situation. Well, alcohol issues and being a freaking moron with the IQ of a chia pet, Jer. Unfortunately, while it may be possible for Pacman to lick his liquor addiction, I don’t think he’s going to be able to shake the fact that he’s a moron……
Monday, October 13, 2008
Bad movies reign at the box office, more crimes by naked people and Joey Chestnut does America proud once again
- I hope you’re happy with yourself, America. For a second straight weekend, you’ve made a subpar film about a talking Chihuahua the country’s top-earning movie. Yes, Disney's alleged comedy “Beverly Hills Chihuahua” was the No. 1 flick for the second-straight weekend with $17.5 million. That raises its 10-day total to $52.5 million. Coming in second for the weekend's was the horror film “Quarantine,” which debuted with $14.2 million. It’s plot might not be stellar - a contagion that turns an apartment building's tenants into flesh-hungry monsters - but it’s better than the movie ahead of it this weekend. As it turned out, the stellar trio of Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe and director Ridley Scott could only muster a third-place finish with their new film “Body of Lies,” which had a $13.1 million debut. Other new releases didn’t fare so well for the weekend, with Universal's football drama "The Express" and the family flick "City of Ember," starring Tim Robbins, earning $4.7 million and $3.2 million, respectively. Here’s how the top 10 shook down overall: 1) "Beverly Hills Chihuahua," $17.5 million, 2) "Quarantine," $14.2 million, 3) "Body of Lies," $13.1 million, 4) "Eagle Eye," $11 million, 5) "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," $6.5 million, 6) "The Express," $4.7 million, 7) "Nights in Rodanthe," $4.6 million, 8) "Appaloosa," $3.34 million, 9) "The Duchess," $3.32 million, 10) "City of Ember," $3.2 million. Overall, “Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist is probably still the best move of the top 10, but it’s no match for the power of a talking dog……
- What is it with this rash of crimes committed by naked people? First, a woman walking her dog in a park in South Bend, Indiana gets jumped and chased by a naked man who she says watned to rape her. Now comes news of an incident Saturday night in Pasadena, Calif. wherein a naked woman led police on a 28-mile chase last night before losing control of her car. The whole ugly (I’m assuming it was ugly, because let’s face it, pretty people don’t drive naked) incident began on the 2400 block of Mohawk Street, where police responded to calls of a disturbance in a parking lot. According to policed reports, the naked woman had been breaking the windows of a car parked in the lot, but took off when she saw police and the chase was on. The mystery naked woman led officers west on highway 210 to highway 134, then west to highway 170 north. Making matters worse, she was driving without her lights on at speeds of over 100 mph. Well duh, of course she was, she didn’t want anyone to see her driving naked. In the end, the woman lost control of the vehicle, crashed on the side of the highway and was taken to a local hospital with minor injuries. Still no explanation as to what she was doing breaking car windows and why she was naked, but now she and I are going to have to cancel our date for this weekend…..just kidding…..I think…..
- Every year I get my hopes up and every year I receive a swift, forceful kick to the junk. I root, I cheer, I wish and I will as best I can for an NFL team to complete the dream season, a perfect year - in reverse. I’m talking 0-16, 16 straight weeks of not doing what it takes, of not doing what is necessary to win and not looking like a capable NFL team. Back in 2001, the dream had a real shot when the Detroit Lions opened 0-12 before inexplicably winning Dec. 16 vs. Minnesota thanks to the maddening efforts of backup quarterback Mike McMahon. And yes, I still hate you, McMahon, you bastard. You didn’t even use those efforts in 2001 to springboard into a successful NFL career; you’re out of the NFL now. But that was nothing compared to the letdown I experience last year, when the Miami Dolphins absolutely crushed my spirit by looking positively crap-tacular for the first 13 games in firing out to an 0-13 record that had all of us reverse perfect season dreamers in a state of ecstasy. However, that fateful day of Dec. 16 reared its head again, with the ‘Fins losing focus and stumbling into a 22-16 over Baltimore in TO when journeyman wide receiver Greg Camarillo caught a long pass in overtime and sprinted past the Baltimore defense for the winning touchdown. I can still remember sitting there dumbfounded when I heard the news, unable to think, speak or feel. So it is with great trepidation that I view the miserable 0-5 start by the 2008 Detroit Lions. They have scored 76 points and allowed 159, and on Sunday, they showed the kind of determination and lack of focus it’s going to take to make my dream a reality. When they somehow found themselves ahead late in the fourth quarter against Minnesota and my dream was slipping through their fingers once again, the Lions dug deep and kept on not doing what it takes to win, coming up with a key pass interference penalty that gave the Vikings a chance to kick the game-winning field goal and win 12-10. Up to this point, the Lions hadn’t been tested; they’d lost every game by double digits, so they hadn’t had to find a way to lose close games. It’s good to know that they can, because over the course of a long season, you aren’t going to be able to get blown out every game, you have to find a way to squeak out those close games you should probably win. So far, so good, but I still have a sinking feeling my heart is going to get crushed again this year…..
- Just let your feeble argument die so the state of Ohio can get on with the business of killing you, Richard Cooey. After the Ohio Supreme Court rejected Cooey’s feeble claim that he was too fat to be executed because physicians couldn’t find a vein in his flabby arm, Cooey’s attorneys have taken their moronic appeal to the only remaining outlet: the Supreme Court. Cooey is scheduled to die by lethal injection Tuesday, but his attorneys have tried every desperate tactic in the book and were forced to take their case to the highest court in the land after Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland earlier Friday denied the 41-year-old prisoner's clemency petition. In hearing the case, the justices are expected to decide whether he should receive a stay of execution, as well as whether to address constitutional claims over when a convicted person is medically unfit for capital punishment. If you believe Cooey’s lawyers (which would make you a tool), he is "morbidly obese," and has gained about 70 pounds since his incarceration at age 19. Prison food and confinement in his cell for 23 hours a day, limiting his opportunities for exercise, contributed to his weight problem, his legal team said in recent court filings. Additional feeble arguments in the motion include claims that Cooey takes regular medication for migraines that will weaken the effectiveness of an anesthetic used in the a three-drug cocktail administered during execution. This is a saga that has been dragging on since 2003, one day before Cooey was scheduled to die. At that point, a particularly inept judge stopped his execution on issues unrelated to his health claims. Things have dragged on until now, when a federal appeals court ruled Thursday that Cooey waited too long to raise the medical issues. But hey, I’m sure to families and friends of Wendy Offredo and Dawn McCreery, the students at the University of Akron that Cooey and an accomplice killed in 1986, don’t mind. Why would they want to see justice administered to a man who tossed concrete slabs onto Interstate 77, one of which struck Offredo's car, and who then took their loved ones to a remote field and subjected them to 3½ hours of rape, torture, stabbings and fatal bludgeonings. Make no mistake about it, Richard Cooey is a sick bastard and the world will not be worse off when he is gone. Now if we could just get around to making that happen…..
- U.S.A! U.S.A.! I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but dammit, this is amERICA and gluttony lives here! Reinforcing that message once again on Sunday was my hero, my main man Joey Chestnut. Two years running, Chestnut has kicked the culinary keester of former world hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi of Japan in the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest on Coney Island, and on SuNDAY he did America proud again by downing 45 slices of pizza in 10 minutes Sunday to win the first-ever Famous Famiglia World Pizza Eating Championship in New York's Times Square. To prepare for his big day, the San Jose, California native says he fasted for more than a day. He also folded and squeezed the slices to make them easier to swallow. Whatever works, my man, whatever works. Not a bad year for Chestnut, beating Kobayashi again, then traveling down to Tennessee last month and winning another contest by cramming down 93 Krystal hamburgers in 8 minutes. Joey, you rock. Your digestive system may be screaming for mercy, but you give it none and keep pushing yourself and doing this nation proud in the process. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!..........
- What is it with this rash of crimes committed by naked people? First, a woman walking her dog in a park in South Bend, Indiana gets jumped and chased by a naked man who she says watned to rape her. Now comes news of an incident Saturday night in Pasadena, Calif. wherein a naked woman led police on a 28-mile chase last night before losing control of her car. The whole ugly (I’m assuming it was ugly, because let’s face it, pretty people don’t drive naked) incident began on the 2400 block of Mohawk Street, where police responded to calls of a disturbance in a parking lot. According to policed reports, the naked woman had been breaking the windows of a car parked in the lot, but took off when she saw police and the chase was on. The mystery naked woman led officers west on highway 210 to highway 134, then west to highway 170 north. Making matters worse, she was driving without her lights on at speeds of over 100 mph. Well duh, of course she was, she didn’t want anyone to see her driving naked. In the end, the woman lost control of the vehicle, crashed on the side of the highway and was taken to a local hospital with minor injuries. Still no explanation as to what she was doing breaking car windows and why she was naked, but now she and I are going to have to cancel our date for this weekend…..just kidding…..I think…..
- Every year I get my hopes up and every year I receive a swift, forceful kick to the junk. I root, I cheer, I wish and I will as best I can for an NFL team to complete the dream season, a perfect year - in reverse. I’m talking 0-16, 16 straight weeks of not doing what it takes, of not doing what is necessary to win and not looking like a capable NFL team. Back in 2001, the dream had a real shot when the Detroit Lions opened 0-12 before inexplicably winning Dec. 16 vs. Minnesota thanks to the maddening efforts of backup quarterback Mike McMahon. And yes, I still hate you, McMahon, you bastard. You didn’t even use those efforts in 2001 to springboard into a successful NFL career; you’re out of the NFL now. But that was nothing compared to the letdown I experience last year, when the Miami Dolphins absolutely crushed my spirit by looking positively crap-tacular for the first 13 games in firing out to an 0-13 record that had all of us reverse perfect season dreamers in a state of ecstasy. However, that fateful day of Dec. 16 reared its head again, with the ‘Fins losing focus and stumbling into a 22-16 over Baltimore in TO when journeyman wide receiver Greg Camarillo caught a long pass in overtime and sprinted past the Baltimore defense for the winning touchdown. I can still remember sitting there dumbfounded when I heard the news, unable to think, speak or feel. So it is with great trepidation that I view the miserable 0-5 start by the 2008 Detroit Lions. They have scored 76 points and allowed 159, and on Sunday, they showed the kind of determination and lack of focus it’s going to take to make my dream a reality. When they somehow found themselves ahead late in the fourth quarter against Minnesota and my dream was slipping through their fingers once again, the Lions dug deep and kept on not doing what it takes to win, coming up with a key pass interference penalty that gave the Vikings a chance to kick the game-winning field goal and win 12-10. Up to this point, the Lions hadn’t been tested; they’d lost every game by double digits, so they hadn’t had to find a way to lose close games. It’s good to know that they can, because over the course of a long season, you aren’t going to be able to get blown out every game, you have to find a way to squeak out those close games you should probably win. So far, so good, but I still have a sinking feeling my heart is going to get crushed again this year…..
- Just let your feeble argument die so the state of Ohio can get on with the business of killing you, Richard Cooey. After the Ohio Supreme Court rejected Cooey’s feeble claim that he was too fat to be executed because physicians couldn’t find a vein in his flabby arm, Cooey’s attorneys have taken their moronic appeal to the only remaining outlet: the Supreme Court. Cooey is scheduled to die by lethal injection Tuesday, but his attorneys have tried every desperate tactic in the book and were forced to take their case to the highest court in the land after Ohio Gov. Ted Strickland earlier Friday denied the 41-year-old prisoner's clemency petition. In hearing the case, the justices are expected to decide whether he should receive a stay of execution, as well as whether to address constitutional claims over when a convicted person is medically unfit for capital punishment. If you believe Cooey’s lawyers (which would make you a tool), he is "morbidly obese," and has gained about 70 pounds since his incarceration at age 19. Prison food and confinement in his cell for 23 hours a day, limiting his opportunities for exercise, contributed to his weight problem, his legal team said in recent court filings. Additional feeble arguments in the motion include claims that Cooey takes regular medication for migraines that will weaken the effectiveness of an anesthetic used in the a three-drug cocktail administered during execution. This is a saga that has been dragging on since 2003, one day before Cooey was scheduled to die. At that point, a particularly inept judge stopped his execution on issues unrelated to his health claims. Things have dragged on until now, when a federal appeals court ruled Thursday that Cooey waited too long to raise the medical issues. But hey, I’m sure to families and friends of Wendy Offredo and Dawn McCreery, the students at the University of Akron that Cooey and an accomplice killed in 1986, don’t mind. Why would they want to see justice administered to a man who tossed concrete slabs onto Interstate 77, one of which struck Offredo's car, and who then took their loved ones to a remote field and subjected them to 3½ hours of rape, torture, stabbings and fatal bludgeonings. Make no mistake about it, Richard Cooey is a sick bastard and the world will not be worse off when he is gone. Now if we could just get around to making that happen…..
- U.S.A! U.S.A.! I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but dammit, this is amERICA and gluttony lives here! Reinforcing that message once again on Sunday was my hero, my main man Joey Chestnut. Two years running, Chestnut has kicked the culinary keester of former world hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi of Japan in the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating contest on Coney Island, and on SuNDAY he did America proud again by downing 45 slices of pizza in 10 minutes Sunday to win the first-ever Famous Famiglia World Pizza Eating Championship in New York's Times Square. To prepare for his big day, the San Jose, California native says he fasted for more than a day. He also folded and squeezed the slices to make them easier to swallow. Whatever works, my man, whatever works. Not a bad year for Chestnut, beating Kobayashi again, then traveling down to Tennessee last month and winning another contest by cramming down 93 Krystal hamburgers in 8 minutes. Joey, you rock. Your digestive system may be screaming for mercy, but you give it none and keep pushing yourself and doing this nation proud in the process. U.S.A.! U.S.A.!..........
Sunday, October 12, 2008
O.J.'s attorneys struggle to accept reality, a convict rejects classical music and a scintillating college football Saturday
- Look, attorneys for O.J. Simpson, I feel the same way you do. I too am in disbelief that the Juice was actually convicted of a crime, even one he so obviously committed. When a man walks away from a double murder that he (almost certainly) committed, you tend to feel that way about him. That being said, I don’t know that you claim that judicial errors and insufficient evidence in the Juice’s recent trial on charges of kidnapping and robbing two sports memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a casino hotel room are going to fly. You might want a new trial, I just don’t think you’re getting one. “Simpson should be granted a new trial,” Simpson attorney Gabriel Grasso wrote in a motion to the court. Grasso and Simpson lawyer Yale Galanter also asser that the judge refused to grant enough time to fully review transcripts and videotapes of the trial. “She didn't give us the time we need to do a full-fledged motion,” said Galanter. Dude, O.J. is employing an entire legal team to defend him and you all didn’t have enough time? You may not have had enough time to find a miracle to gain an acquittal for a guilty man, Yale, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t given sufficient time to complete your motion. You can threaten to make a more detailed appeal to the Nevada Supreme Court if this one is denied, but I think somehow the Juice’s deal with the devil has expired or there’s a loophole you didn’t know about, because no longer does O.J. appear immune for justice. You have to expect that he will indeed be sentenced Dec. 5 on 12 charges, including kidnapping, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. I don’t know how long of a sentence the Juice will receive, with five years to life in prison riding on each of the two kidnapping convictions and a mandatory sentence of at least two years or up to 30 years on each of the two armed robbery convictions, it doesn’t look good. One pleasant comedic side note is the fact that O.J.’s attorneys are arguing that the jury was picked unfairly, which might be true….if you were betting on getting a jury of morons like the one that acquitted him back in 1995. So if your standard is a jury of people with an average IQ of 41, then yes, I agree that it was unfair. Otherwise, justice has been served - just 13 years late…….
- When it comes to South Park, most of us fall into one of two groups. Either you’re a fan of the show and think it’s irreverent, crass and sophomoric humor is hilarious, or you can't stand the show and have long since tuned it out. It’s been around long enough that nearly all of the conservative outrage against it seeking to shut it down have died off. It’s on Comedy Central, not a major network, so it’s not in the forefront. Still, show creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have kept pushing the envelope and this time they may have gone to an extreme they shouldn’t have gone to. Wednesday night's episode used a recurring joke in which producers George Lucas and Steven Spielberg repeatedly (and in the style of some classic film scenes, for example Deliverance) sexually assaulted an unwitting Indiana Jones. To put things in context, the scenes were offered as a commentary on the Indiana Jones producers' exploitation of the franchise to rake in the money without worrying about the quality of the product, a fact that was clearly evident in the most recent of the four Indiana Jones movies. The problem here is that franchise is produced by Paramount, which like Comedy Central is owned by Viacom. With both companies under the same corporate umbrella, it will be interesting to see how this plays out. It isn't the first time South Park has taken a shot at a Paramount icon, with an episode last month showing Paramount icon Tom Cruise locked in a closet. The irreverence is part of what’s great about South Park, but that doesn’t mean it should have carte blanche to make any joke it wants without repercussion……
- Now that’s more like it for a college football Saturday. Three of the top four teams in the AP poll in action, three of top four teams lose. The upsets began early in the day, with No. 5 Texas outscoring top-ranked Oklahoma 45-35 before a raucous crowd at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. In a game called the Red River Shootout, a shootout was exactly what transpired as the teams traded touchdowns all afternoon. Thanks to a late surge, the Longhorns overcame five touchdown passes by OU quarterback Sam Bradford to win and vault themselves to the top spot in the poll. The second-ranked team in the country, noted liar Nick Saban’s Alabama Crimson Tide, were off this Saturday with a bye, but the third- and fourth-ranked teams weren’t so fortunate. In a stunning home upset, No. 3 Missouri was beaten at home by No. 17 Oklahoma State, 28-23 in a game whose score was about half of what you’d have expected going in. It was also much closer than the 51-21 beatdown that No. 11 Florida laid on No. 4 LSU in Gainesville. Florida was coming off of a bitter home loss to Mississippi two weeks ago, but they bounced right back into the national championship picture by throttling the Tigers behind three total touchdowns (2 passing, 1 rushing) from quarterback Tim Tebow. Other than that, the top teams held serve, although No. 7 Texas Tech made it dicey by waiting until overtime to overcome Nebraska 37-31. One spectacular collapse that didn’t involve Top 25 teams featured the Buffalo Bulls, who came from ahead to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against Western Michigan. UB was ahead by 14 points with five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, but surrendered two touchdowns and couldn’t match a WMU score in the first overtime in losing 34-28. Another Michigan team was involved in an embarrassing loss - the Michigan Wolverines, who suffered their worst loss since choking in last season’s home opener to Division 1-AA Appalachian State in falling to Mid-American conference also-ran Toledo at the Big House 13-10. That loss drops UM to 2-4 under new coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez, and such a disappointing season couldn’t be happening to a more deserving guy. One final game of note was No. 15 Vanderbilt, which celebrated its ascension to the top 15 by losing to a Mississippi State team that came in sporting an impressive 1-4 record. On the whole, an exciting Saturday of action and one that starts what should be a frenetic, fantastic final six weeks of the college football season……
- Have a style or genre of music you can't stand? I know I do, several of them actually: country, techno, dance, mainstream pop, boy bands, R&B, polka…..but I digress. The point is that all of us have that one (or more) genre of music that makes us plug our ears and run screaming from the room. But if listening to that music was the difference between a $150 fine from your local court and a $35 fine, would your perspective change? For Andrew Vactor of Urbana, Ohio. the answer to that question proved to be no. Vactor facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo in July, but Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott offered to reduce the fine to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin. Initially Vactor accepted the offer, but according to his probation officer, he lasted only about 15 minutes with the classical tunes. His excuse for bailing out so quickly was that it wasn’t solely the result of the music; Vactor claims he also needed to be at practice with the rest of the Urbana University basketball team. “I didn't have the time to deal with that,” he said. “I just decided to pay the fine.” According to the judge, the idea behind the unique punishment was to force Vactor to listen to something didn’t enjoy, just as other people had no choice but to listen to his loud rap music. Judge Fornof-Lippencott has a habit of coming up with unusual sentences for defendants who appear before her court; she's taped TV shows for defendants in other cases to watch on topics such as financial responsibility. I’m not someone who is a fan of the law or authority figures, so I won't give the judge too much credit for that, but minor points for attempted creativity……
- Some things you just don’t want to say on the air, especially when they are pure speculation and/or asinine conspiracy theories alleging someone faked a potentially fatal disease. Chris Baker and Langdon Perry of KTLK in Minneapolis made the ill-reasoned, idiotic remarks during Baker's conservative radio show on Wednesday, claiming that former NBA star Magic Johnson faked having AIDS in the 1990s. Johnson took the high road, condemning the statements, but saying he didn’t feel that it should cost these two ass clowns their jobs. “We can't have people out here making false statements and putting out bad information, because this battle is too big when it comes to HIV and AIDS,” Johnson said in response to the controversy. “I poured my life into it and a lot of other people have poured their life into it, into getting out the right information so people can protect themselves and know what HIV and AIDS is all about.” So aside from calling remarks “so stupid,” Magic isn't stooping to the level of these two tools. The remarks came after a caller to the show claimed that health care isn't a basic right, to which Perry responded by asking about treatable diseases that a person can live with for a long time “if you just get some basic drugs.” That’s when Baker chimed in with, “Like Magic Johnson?” To which Perry promptly switched off all brain functions relating to thought and reasoning, then replied, “Magic with his faked AIDS. Magic faked AIDS.” Baker then decided that Perry should not be alone in his stupidity and said, “You think Magic faked AIDS for sympathy?” Perry, striving to be consistent in his ass-hattery, shot back, “I'm convinced that Magic faked AIDS.” To round out a truly despicable exchange, Baker wrapped up by saying, “Me too.” Great job all around, fellas. That is what you want to do, claim that when Johnson was diagnosed with HIV in 1991 and subsequently retired from the NBA at 32, he was doing so for sympathy. Just one question….why the hell did dude need sympathy? He was one of the most beloved athletes of his time, a famous face who was almost universally loved. He wasn’t some despised a-hole who needed a ploy like faking an illness to get some love. But before you make those types of claims, it’s also good to get your facts straight. As Johnson reminded everyone, he has HIV, not AIDS. HIV can lead to AIDS, but it is not the same thing, one is a precursor to the other. So an all-around stellar performance by both Perry and Baker, showing that together, they have the intelligence and sensitivity of a pair of pruning shears…..
- When it comes to South Park, most of us fall into one of two groups. Either you’re a fan of the show and think it’s irreverent, crass and sophomoric humor is hilarious, or you can't stand the show and have long since tuned it out. It’s been around long enough that nearly all of the conservative outrage against it seeking to shut it down have died off. It’s on Comedy Central, not a major network, so it’s not in the forefront. Still, show creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have kept pushing the envelope and this time they may have gone to an extreme they shouldn’t have gone to. Wednesday night's episode used a recurring joke in which producers George Lucas and Steven Spielberg repeatedly (and in the style of some classic film scenes, for example Deliverance) sexually assaulted an unwitting Indiana Jones. To put things in context, the scenes were offered as a commentary on the Indiana Jones producers' exploitation of the franchise to rake in the money without worrying about the quality of the product, a fact that was clearly evident in the most recent of the four Indiana Jones movies. The problem here is that franchise is produced by Paramount, which like Comedy Central is owned by Viacom. With both companies under the same corporate umbrella, it will be interesting to see how this plays out. It isn't the first time South Park has taken a shot at a Paramount icon, with an episode last month showing Paramount icon Tom Cruise locked in a closet. The irreverence is part of what’s great about South Park, but that doesn’t mean it should have carte blanche to make any joke it wants without repercussion……
- Now that’s more like it for a college football Saturday. Three of the top four teams in the AP poll in action, three of top four teams lose. The upsets began early in the day, with No. 5 Texas outscoring top-ranked Oklahoma 45-35 before a raucous crowd at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. In a game called the Red River Shootout, a shootout was exactly what transpired as the teams traded touchdowns all afternoon. Thanks to a late surge, the Longhorns overcame five touchdown passes by OU quarterback Sam Bradford to win and vault themselves to the top spot in the poll. The second-ranked team in the country, noted liar Nick Saban’s Alabama Crimson Tide, were off this Saturday with a bye, but the third- and fourth-ranked teams weren’t so fortunate. In a stunning home upset, No. 3 Missouri was beaten at home by No. 17 Oklahoma State, 28-23 in a game whose score was about half of what you’d have expected going in. It was also much closer than the 51-21 beatdown that No. 11 Florida laid on No. 4 LSU in Gainesville. Florida was coming off of a bitter home loss to Mississippi two weeks ago, but they bounced right back into the national championship picture by throttling the Tigers behind three total touchdowns (2 passing, 1 rushing) from quarterback Tim Tebow. Other than that, the top teams held serve, although No. 7 Texas Tech made it dicey by waiting until overtime to overcome Nebraska 37-31. One spectacular collapse that didn’t involve Top 25 teams featured the Buffalo Bulls, who came from ahead to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against Western Michigan. UB was ahead by 14 points with five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, but surrendered two touchdowns and couldn’t match a WMU score in the first overtime in losing 34-28. Another Michigan team was involved in an embarrassing loss - the Michigan Wolverines, who suffered their worst loss since choking in last season’s home opener to Division 1-AA Appalachian State in falling to Mid-American conference also-ran Toledo at the Big House 13-10. That loss drops UM to 2-4 under new coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez, and such a disappointing season couldn’t be happening to a more deserving guy. One final game of note was No. 15 Vanderbilt, which celebrated its ascension to the top 15 by losing to a Mississippi State team that came in sporting an impressive 1-4 record. On the whole, an exciting Saturday of action and one that starts what should be a frenetic, fantastic final six weeks of the college football season……
- Have a style or genre of music you can't stand? I know I do, several of them actually: country, techno, dance, mainstream pop, boy bands, R&B, polka…..but I digress. The point is that all of us have that one (or more) genre of music that makes us plug our ears and run screaming from the room. But if listening to that music was the difference between a $150 fine from your local court and a $35 fine, would your perspective change? For Andrew Vactor of Urbana, Ohio. the answer to that question proved to be no. Vactor facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo in July, but Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott offered to reduce the fine to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin. Initially Vactor accepted the offer, but according to his probation officer, he lasted only about 15 minutes with the classical tunes. His excuse for bailing out so quickly was that it wasn’t solely the result of the music; Vactor claims he also needed to be at practice with the rest of the Urbana University basketball team. “I didn't have the time to deal with that,” he said. “I just decided to pay the fine.” According to the judge, the idea behind the unique punishment was to force Vactor to listen to something didn’t enjoy, just as other people had no choice but to listen to his loud rap music. Judge Fornof-Lippencott has a habit of coming up with unusual sentences for defendants who appear before her court; she's taped TV shows for defendants in other cases to watch on topics such as financial responsibility. I’m not someone who is a fan of the law or authority figures, so I won't give the judge too much credit for that, but minor points for attempted creativity……
- Some things you just don’t want to say on the air, especially when they are pure speculation and/or asinine conspiracy theories alleging someone faked a potentially fatal disease. Chris Baker and Langdon Perry of KTLK in Minneapolis made the ill-reasoned, idiotic remarks during Baker's conservative radio show on Wednesday, claiming that former NBA star Magic Johnson faked having AIDS in the 1990s. Johnson took the high road, condemning the statements, but saying he didn’t feel that it should cost these two ass clowns their jobs. “We can't have people out here making false statements and putting out bad information, because this battle is too big when it comes to HIV and AIDS,” Johnson said in response to the controversy. “I poured my life into it and a lot of other people have poured their life into it, into getting out the right information so people can protect themselves and know what HIV and AIDS is all about.” So aside from calling remarks “so stupid,” Magic isn't stooping to the level of these two tools. The remarks came after a caller to the show claimed that health care isn't a basic right, to which Perry responded by asking about treatable diseases that a person can live with for a long time “if you just get some basic drugs.” That’s when Baker chimed in with, “Like Magic Johnson?” To which Perry promptly switched off all brain functions relating to thought and reasoning, then replied, “Magic with his faked AIDS. Magic faked AIDS.” Baker then decided that Perry should not be alone in his stupidity and said, “You think Magic faked AIDS for sympathy?” Perry, striving to be consistent in his ass-hattery, shot back, “I'm convinced that Magic faked AIDS.” To round out a truly despicable exchange, Baker wrapped up by saying, “Me too.” Great job all around, fellas. That is what you want to do, claim that when Johnson was diagnosed with HIV in 1991 and subsequently retired from the NBA at 32, he was doing so for sympathy. Just one question….why the hell did dude need sympathy? He was one of the most beloved athletes of his time, a famous face who was almost universally loved. He wasn’t some despised a-hole who needed a ploy like faking an illness to get some love. But before you make those types of claims, it’s also good to get your facts straight. As Johnson reminded everyone, he has HIV, not AIDS. HIV can lead to AIDS, but it is not the same thing, one is a precursor to the other. So an all-around stellar performance by both Perry and Baker, showing that together, they have the intelligence and sensitivity of a pair of pruning shears…..
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Naked guys chasing dog walkers, the British military not too sharp and Tim Montgomery speeds off....to back-to-back prison terms
- Surprise, surprise, one of the most successful films of the fall has a definite faith-based direction to it. Fireproof stars Kirk Cameron (Growing Pains, still an awesome show) as a fireman whose marriage is in trouble and who turns to God for help. It comes courtesy of brothers Alex and Stephen Kendrick, who were looking for inspiration for their third feature-length film and turned to God for help. “To be honest, I prayed about it,” Alex Kendrick said. “I said, 'God, would you give me an idea that will impact all of our culture.'” He was out for a run one day when the idea for the movie came to him. The movie, with its strong faith-based message, was made with a budget of just $500,000 and a volunteer cast. Even with all of that against it, the film opened on 839 screens two weeks ago finished No. 4 at the box office. It remained in the top 10 last weekend, at No. 8, and has earned an estimated $13.6 million. Furthermore, it has spun off a best-selling book that started as a prop in the film. “The Love Dare,” written by the Kendricks, was at No. 8 on Amazon's best-seller list as of Thursday. The response from fans of the movie has also been overwhelmingly positive, with more than a thousand e-mailed stories posted on the movie's website from people who have been impacted by it. Not bad for two associate pastors at Sherwood Baptist Church in southwestern Georgia. It’s not often that you see two associate Baptist pastors and a church's senior pastor, in this case Michael Catt, create a production company. Sherwood Pictures was founded in 2002 and cobbled together $20,000 to produce their first film, "Flywheel," in 2003. They were also the production company that released "Facing the Giants" in 2006 with a budget of $100,000. That film grossed more than $10 million, allowing them more than enough money to bring “Fireproof” to life. In fact, it was Cameron who called the Kendricks to say he loved their work and would be interested in working with them. So whether the faith-based message of the movie hits home with you or not, it’s still interesting to see such an unusual production company have such success with a film that no one expected to be a big hit……
- It’s reassuring to know that it’s not just our government that has a difficult time protecting personal data and information. While the U.S. government has proven quite proficient at having computers and other resources go missing that contain valuable personnel information, their British counterparts appear to want some of that action as well. Thus, Britain's Ministry of Defence announced yesterday that a disk which carries personal details of some 100,000 serving British military personnel is missing. The military confirmed a published report in a British newspaper that contractor EDS lost track of a portable hard drive. Whoops! Speaking from personal experience, I have to say that you can’t be too hard on the contractor for losing that hard drive, what with drives of that storage capacity weighing a mere 6-7 pounds and being the size of a small textbook, anyone can misplace something like that; it could fall down behind your couch cushions and you wouldn’t realize it - oh wait, yes you would. The British military refused to comment on the claim that the lost hard drive contained names, addresses, passport numbers and driver's license information of service personnel along with data on 600,000 potential recruits. But perhaps the reason they could not confirm those details is because……they have no idea what’s on their own disk of highly sensitive information? Huh? A ministry spokesman said Friday: “We don't know what's on it, and we don't even know if there's anything on it.” Wait a second, you’re supposed to be military intelligence and you don’t know what’s on a missing hard drive? Why would you have the drive at all if there is nothing on it? How do you even know it exists? And all of these questions raise the obvious question: is your entire military a bunch of morons with a collective IQ of 18? The missing drive came to light after a government-mandated data security review was unable to account for the disk. Here’s hoping you all find whatever the disk is, whatever information is on it…..assuming it even exists at all…..
- Well, at least disgraced former Olympic track star Tim Montgomery can be the fastest guy around once again. Of course, he’ll be the fastest guy on his cell block in federal prison after being sentenced in U.S. District Court in Norfolk, Virginia to five years in prison for dealing heroin to an informant. “I was blind -- I never had a job in my life,” Montgomery told U.S. District Judge Jerome B. Friedman. “I did the wrong thing.” But Montgomery won't be heading off to the federal pen just yet; he must first complete a 46-month prison term for an unrelated conviction in New York. Like lighting one cigarette off of another, never a good idea to “light” one prison term off another and go from one jail to another. But such is the case when you sign an agreement with the government, pleadeding guilty in July to possession and distribution of more than 100 grams of heroin. By signing, the deal, Montgomery received the minimum term under federal sentencing guidelines. Still, quite a decline for a man who won an Olympic gold medal in the 400-meter relay at the 2000 Games and a silver in the same event four years earlier. You won't find any of those performances in the record books, though; a doping scandal wiped his achievements from the books. There was no hubbub or major scene in the courtroom as Montgomery accepted his sentence. The courtroom was nearly empty and Montgomery was accompanied only by his lawyer. Prosecutors also pointed out that that Montgomery's heroin arrest came as he awaited sentencing on a check-kiting scheme that ultimately sent him to prison in New York, and that “He has chosen to ignore every benefit given to him.” The drug charges stem from four drug sales he made in 2007 and 2008 in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, with a Drug Enforcement Agency informant making buys that were either electronically videotaped, tape-recorded or witnessed by agents. Yup, that’ll do you in most times. Get used to running sprints in the prison yard and the only blocks you’ll be coming out of being cell blocks, Timmy, see you in 6-8 years…..
- How bad is the economy in these here United States at the moment? So bad that Christopher Crane, winner of a $42 million Mega Millions jackpot in Michigan, has elected to receive the money in installments rather than getting a smaller, one-time cash payment. Crane was given a ceremonial check Friday at the Michigan Lottery headquarters in Lansing, and the resident of Macomb County's Washington Township says he plans to retire from his job at Chrysler, move to Georgia and become a pecan farmer. State lottery spokeswoman Andi Brancato says she can't recall a Mega Millions winner in Michigan ever picking the installment plan since the Mega Millions game was introduced back in 2002. Lottery winners typically take a lump-sum payment and then invest the money, but with the DOW plummeting daily and stocks going down faster than Paris Hilton on a…..never mind, let’s just say it’s going down quickly, having lost nearly 40 percent since closing at its all-time high a year ago. A curious choice, “retiring” and taking up a life as a farmer, one of the most rigorous, taxing professions around, but I guess when you have installment payments coming in that will total tens of millions of dollars, you don’t need to push yourself too hard to be a big-time pecan farmer…….
- I’ve been to South Bend; I’ve run marathons there and found it to be a pretty nice place, mostly peaceful, with a nice suburban feel around the Notre Dame campus. But that’s largely because I’ve never been attacked by a naked man in a park while running there. Sadly, Lisa Stacy can't say the same, because she was almost accosted by a naked man while walking her puppy at Clay Township Park Wednesday. Stacy says she started to take a trail through the park when she noticed a man in the woods without a shirt on. As most of us would when spotting a shirtless dude wandering around in the park, Stacy started to walk away when she noticed the man was following her. He then began yelling at her and to her horror, she realized that her crazy stalker didn’t have any clothes on. When Stacy turned and ran, the crazy naked man followed. Fortunately, she made her way to the playground was able to call for help. Talking about the incident afterward, Stacy said she thought her attacker was going to rape her. “No it wasn't a joke. It definitely was a threat. He didn't want me just to look at him without his clothes, he wanted more than that. I know that. He wouldn't have run after me like he was. He was running full force at me,” Stacy explained. The incident is the only one of its kind to have been reported in the area and so far, no suspects have been identified. Police are looking for a man described as very pale, in his 30's, with shoulder length brown, curly hair. So if you live in the South Bend area and have seen any pale, naked man in their 30s with long brown hair wandering around in your neighborhood, be sure to give police a call……
- It’s reassuring to know that it’s not just our government that has a difficult time protecting personal data and information. While the U.S. government has proven quite proficient at having computers and other resources go missing that contain valuable personnel information, their British counterparts appear to want some of that action as well. Thus, Britain's Ministry of Defence announced yesterday that a disk which carries personal details of some 100,000 serving British military personnel is missing. The military confirmed a published report in a British newspaper that contractor EDS lost track of a portable hard drive. Whoops! Speaking from personal experience, I have to say that you can’t be too hard on the contractor for losing that hard drive, what with drives of that storage capacity weighing a mere 6-7 pounds and being the size of a small textbook, anyone can misplace something like that; it could fall down behind your couch cushions and you wouldn’t realize it - oh wait, yes you would. The British military refused to comment on the claim that the lost hard drive contained names, addresses, passport numbers and driver's license information of service personnel along with data on 600,000 potential recruits. But perhaps the reason they could not confirm those details is because……they have no idea what’s on their own disk of highly sensitive information? Huh? A ministry spokesman said Friday: “We don't know what's on it, and we don't even know if there's anything on it.” Wait a second, you’re supposed to be military intelligence and you don’t know what’s on a missing hard drive? Why would you have the drive at all if there is nothing on it? How do you even know it exists? And all of these questions raise the obvious question: is your entire military a bunch of morons with a collective IQ of 18? The missing drive came to light after a government-mandated data security review was unable to account for the disk. Here’s hoping you all find whatever the disk is, whatever information is on it…..assuming it even exists at all…..
- Well, at least disgraced former Olympic track star Tim Montgomery can be the fastest guy around once again. Of course, he’ll be the fastest guy on his cell block in federal prison after being sentenced in U.S. District Court in Norfolk, Virginia to five years in prison for dealing heroin to an informant. “I was blind -- I never had a job in my life,” Montgomery told U.S. District Judge Jerome B. Friedman. “I did the wrong thing.” But Montgomery won't be heading off to the federal pen just yet; he must first complete a 46-month prison term for an unrelated conviction in New York. Like lighting one cigarette off of another, never a good idea to “light” one prison term off another and go from one jail to another. But such is the case when you sign an agreement with the government, pleadeding guilty in July to possession and distribution of more than 100 grams of heroin. By signing, the deal, Montgomery received the minimum term under federal sentencing guidelines. Still, quite a decline for a man who won an Olympic gold medal in the 400-meter relay at the 2000 Games and a silver in the same event four years earlier. You won't find any of those performances in the record books, though; a doping scandal wiped his achievements from the books. There was no hubbub or major scene in the courtroom as Montgomery accepted his sentence. The courtroom was nearly empty and Montgomery was accompanied only by his lawyer. Prosecutors also pointed out that that Montgomery's heroin arrest came as he awaited sentencing on a check-kiting scheme that ultimately sent him to prison in New York, and that “He has chosen to ignore every benefit given to him.” The drug charges stem from four drug sales he made in 2007 and 2008 in Norfolk and Virginia Beach, with a Drug Enforcement Agency informant making buys that were either electronically videotaped, tape-recorded or witnessed by agents. Yup, that’ll do you in most times. Get used to running sprints in the prison yard and the only blocks you’ll be coming out of being cell blocks, Timmy, see you in 6-8 years…..
- How bad is the economy in these here United States at the moment? So bad that Christopher Crane, winner of a $42 million Mega Millions jackpot in Michigan, has elected to receive the money in installments rather than getting a smaller, one-time cash payment. Crane was given a ceremonial check Friday at the Michigan Lottery headquarters in Lansing, and the resident of Macomb County's Washington Township says he plans to retire from his job at Chrysler, move to Georgia and become a pecan farmer. State lottery spokeswoman Andi Brancato says she can't recall a Mega Millions winner in Michigan ever picking the installment plan since the Mega Millions game was introduced back in 2002. Lottery winners typically take a lump-sum payment and then invest the money, but with the DOW plummeting daily and stocks going down faster than Paris Hilton on a…..never mind, let’s just say it’s going down quickly, having lost nearly 40 percent since closing at its all-time high a year ago. A curious choice, “retiring” and taking up a life as a farmer, one of the most rigorous, taxing professions around, but I guess when you have installment payments coming in that will total tens of millions of dollars, you don’t need to push yourself too hard to be a big-time pecan farmer…….
- I’ve been to South Bend; I’ve run marathons there and found it to be a pretty nice place, mostly peaceful, with a nice suburban feel around the Notre Dame campus. But that’s largely because I’ve never been attacked by a naked man in a park while running there. Sadly, Lisa Stacy can't say the same, because she was almost accosted by a naked man while walking her puppy at Clay Township Park Wednesday. Stacy says she started to take a trail through the park when she noticed a man in the woods without a shirt on. As most of us would when spotting a shirtless dude wandering around in the park, Stacy started to walk away when she noticed the man was following her. He then began yelling at her and to her horror, she realized that her crazy stalker didn’t have any clothes on. When Stacy turned and ran, the crazy naked man followed. Fortunately, she made her way to the playground was able to call for help. Talking about the incident afterward, Stacy said she thought her attacker was going to rape her. “No it wasn't a joke. It definitely was a threat. He didn't want me just to look at him without his clothes, he wanted more than that. I know that. He wouldn't have run after me like he was. He was running full force at me,” Stacy explained. The incident is the only one of its kind to have been reported in the area and so far, no suspects have been identified. Police are looking for a man described as very pale, in his 30's, with shoulder length brown, curly hair. So if you live in the South Bend area and have seen any pale, naked man in their 30s with long brown hair wandering around in your neighborhood, be sure to give police a call……
Friday, October 10, 2008
Can McCain survive four years in office, last night's Smallville and I still HATE "Frank TV"
- Like, OMG, WTF is she doing? Doesn’t Whitney Port know that she is a key character in one of the most played, tired reality series concepts in the history of television? The Hills has never been fresh or interesting mostly because it’s a spinoff of Laguna Beach, a series that was interesting for all of one season and then became relly tired really quickly. Yet there was MTV, following Laguna cast member Lauren Conrad, to Hollywood for her very own reality show, of which Port became a part. Now, MTV is making another moronic leap by spinning off of the spinoff and giving Port her own reality series, The City. Her new show will air near the beginning of 2009, and it will follow Port as she works for fashion designer Diane von Furstenberg. Right, because we don’t have enough shows, reality shows and movies about fashion right now, we are in desperate need of another one. And look at Port, releasing a statement like she’s an actual celebrity and someone we should give a damn about. “I am thrilled and honored to be in New York City,” she declared in a statement. “Not only working for one of the most renowned fashion designers, Diane Von Furstenberg, but to be able to mature as a young woman both professionally and personally.” Great, I wish you all the success in the world…I just don’t know why it needs to be on television……
- Aliens were invading on last night’s episode of Smallville - well, to be fair it was one alien, but a badass one at that. Maxima, an invader from the planet Omichron, came racing to Earth when new LuthorCorp CEO Tess Mercer and one of her scientists performed a sonic pulsation test on the Kryptonian crystal found in the Arctic Circle near the spot where Lex Luthor disappeared. Maxima teleports to Earth and begins her search for the owner of the crystal, whom she believes is her soul mate. Unfortunately, her trial-and-error search brings death to every human male she kisses, increasing their adrenaline and endorphin levels to points that bring on a heart attack. The only one who can withstand her kiss is Clark Kent, but before the two cross paths, Maxima kills a half dozen men stretching from Metropolis to Smallville. In Smallville, she appears at the Luthor mansion to and confronts Tess because the mansion is where the crystal’s signal originated from. After assaulting Tess, Maxima takes a mystery man’s invitation for Tess to meet for drinks at the Ace of Clubs in Metropolis and goes on her own. There, she zeroes in on the despondent Jimmy Olsen, who is seemingly the only guy in the room not with a date. Jimmy is down because while moving in with fiancée Chloe Sullivan, he found the love letter Chloe wrote to Clark way back during their high school days and read to him when Clark was seriously ill and in a near-coma. When Jimmy finds the note, it stirs up all of his insecurities about Clark’s relationship with Chloe. That leads him to a night of tequila shots at the club, ending with dancing and making out with Maxima. Clark arrives just in time to save Jimmy and rush him to the hospital, but Maxima spots him in super speed and realizes Clark is the guy she’s looking for. She tracks CK down at the Daily Planet and the two get hot and heavy in the elevator after Clark succumbs to her other-worldly charms, just before Lois happens on them hooking up while she’s waiting for the elevator and the door opens. She flips out and Clark goes after her despite Maxima’s protestations, putting Lois in Maxima’s crosshairs. On the street outside the building, Maxima waits for Lois, tosses her car several stories in the air and then goes after her once the car lands upside down on the next street over. Clark zooms onto the scene in time to stop the attack and in a nearby alley, he manages to resist Maxima’s advances and claims that they are soul mates and that he should return to her planet with her. When she’s rejected, she is zapped away in some sort of teleportation, leaving Clark in her wake. As for Chloe, troubles with Jimmy aren't her only concern. She’s also approached by Tess with an offer to use Chloe’s new power of a brain on par with a supercomputer to crack the mysteries of the computer-like crystal that signaled Maxima to begin with. Tess believes it may hold clues to finding Lex, but Chloe has no desire to work with anyone associated with Lex after he ratted her out to the feds last season for computer hacking crimes. Chloe’s stance changes and episode’s end when Clark tells her that he believes that by using the crystal, he may be able to recreate the Fortress of Solitude, bring back his Kryptonian father Jor-El and in the process, find a way to remove the BRAINIAC-instilled power that Chloe has been given, a power Clark fears may harm her long-term. However, when Chloe goes to the Luthor mansion to tell Tess about her reversal in thinking, Tess informs her that the crystal has been stolen. The identity of the thief is unknown, but Tess receives a taunting email, showing a pic of the crystal and asking if that’s what she’s looking for. Text in the message then says, “You aren’t ready - X.” Who is X? My guess is that X is the signature of Doomsday, the character that is the secret identity of show newcomer Sam Witwer, also known as paramedic Davis. That mystery will be solved in the weeks ahead, as will the mystery of where Lois will live now that Jimmy moving into the apartment above the Talon with Chloe has booted her from her home. Clark offers her a place to stay at the Kent Farm, where there are plenty of empty rooms and where Clark has been feeling alone (especially after finding Lana Lang’s old meteor-rock necklace in a kitchen drawer at the episode’s outset), but Lois declines. This offer comes after several moments during the episode where there was clear chemistry and connection between Lois and Clark, one of which was Maxima telling Lois that she could see a clear connection between the two, even if Lois couldn’t admit it yet. So there are definitely a couple of things to keep an eye on going forward, but until next time…..
- For me as a (soon-to-be former) Chicago Cubs fan, the Major League Baseball playoffs ended when the pathetic, choking Cubbies were swept out of the playoffs in the first round by the Dodgers despite entering the postseason with the best record in the National League. That being said, not being interested in the remainder of the playoffs hasn’t made me immune to the scourge that is a non-stop, overwhelming and really, really irritating barrage of Frank TV ads on TBS, which has rights to early rounds of playoff coverage. The same thing happened last year and I wrote the same damn thing last year, that I cannot stand Frank Caliendo, I don’t think he’s funny and I don’t care how many impressions of W. or John Madden he does, he doesn’t make me laugh. Yet here is TBS, trying to cram Caliendo’s crap-tacular show down our throats because they seem to think it’s funny even when virtually no one else does. Look guys, I know you put money into this piece of crap and would like to see a return on your investment, but it’s time to throw in the towel and admit that the show just blows. You can run five commercials for it during every commercial break on your network, every hour of the day, but that isn't going to win us over, it’s just pissing everyone off more to the point that sooner or later, viewers are going to start FedEx-ing explosive devices to your offices just to put an end to this. So I’m begging you, for your own safety and our sanity stop the commercials, pull the plug and allow us to get to work on moving past this whole unfortunate situation…..
- While there may be nothing funny about the putrid state of the U.S. economy as the dollar bottoms out, companies go under, stocks plummet and banks are going bankrupt because of bad lending practices, I have managed to find something to laugh about in relation to our current economic woes: the daily pictures of despondent Wall Street traders on various news websites. Seriously, every day there is a picture of one of these suckers in an expensive suit, power tie and wearing a look like his dog just go ran over, his wife left him, his favorite bar closed and he just found out that he’s adopted. It doesn’t matter that we don’t know the identity of these suckers because they’re all the same guy in the same pose, thinking the same semi-suicidal thoughts. I may not be oerly familiar with the workings of the DOW Jones Index and what it means when the DOW drops below 10,000 or 9,000, but that doesn’t prevent me from eagerly anticipating the next CNN picture of Joe Trader, head in hands, staring despondently off into space, the loneliest and saddest man in the world. I’m starting to wonder if these are even candid shots or if the photographers go around and solicit a different guy every day to strike the “depressed stock trader” pose. Work with me….show me depression….yes…yes, that’s it, give me despondence….show me your forlorn look….good….beautiful! It may be a small silver lining in an otherwise bleak time for our economy, but at least it’s good for a laugh, which we all need right about now….
- I can see where, if you think one of the candidates for president might die before completing his term in office, that might affect how you vote. That’s a concern very much on the minds of many Americans, according to a new CNN/Opinion Research Corp. Poll. Republican Sen. John McCain is 72, and while he may be a skin cancer survivor and have made it through five years in a Vietnamese prison, 47 percent of Americans surveyed are concerned that McCain would not finish a four-year term as president in good health. Honestly….I have to agree with them. McCain would be the oldest man sworn in for a first term as president, plus the inauguration ceremony would take place right around the same time as his customary mid-day nap. On the flip side, his opponent, Democratic Sen. Barack Obama, is 47 and the fourth-youngest major party nominee. In response to those concerns, McCain has allowed reporters to look through more than 1,100 pages of his medical records, although their time was limited and the records could not be taken out of the room where they were being kept. Also, McCain's personal physician, Dr. John Eckstein, released a letter saying there is no medical reason “that would preclude McCain from fulfilling all the duties and obligations of the president of the United States.” Hmm, wonder if the good doctor would have any reason to throw his support behind his most well-known and powerful patient…..perhaps. Those steps by McCain haven’t made the issue go away in the minds of voters, because in the CNN/Opinion Research Corp. Poll, conducted in late September, 29 percent of those polled said they are “very concerned” about McCain's ability to complete a first term and another 18 percent are “somewhat concerned.” Vote however you want, America, but the deciding factor for me won't be McCain’s health, but rather his idiotic comment that he would be willing to stay in Iraq for 100 years and perpetuate the most disastrous abortion of a war in our history if need be…..
- Aliens were invading on last night’s episode of Smallville - well, to be fair it was one alien, but a badass one at that. Maxima, an invader from the planet Omichron, came racing to Earth when new LuthorCorp CEO Tess Mercer and one of her scientists performed a sonic pulsation test on the Kryptonian crystal found in the Arctic Circle near the spot where Lex Luthor disappeared. Maxima teleports to Earth and begins her search for the owner of the crystal, whom she believes is her soul mate. Unfortunately, her trial-and-error search brings death to every human male she kisses, increasing their adrenaline and endorphin levels to points that bring on a heart attack. The only one who can withstand her kiss is Clark Kent, but before the two cross paths, Maxima kills a half dozen men stretching from Metropolis to Smallville. In Smallville, she appears at the Luthor mansion to and confronts Tess because the mansion is where the crystal’s signal originated from. After assaulting Tess, Maxima takes a mystery man’s invitation for Tess to meet for drinks at the Ace of Clubs in Metropolis and goes on her own. There, she zeroes in on the despondent Jimmy Olsen, who is seemingly the only guy in the room not with a date. Jimmy is down because while moving in with fiancée Chloe Sullivan, he found the love letter Chloe wrote to Clark way back during their high school days and read to him when Clark was seriously ill and in a near-coma. When Jimmy finds the note, it stirs up all of his insecurities about Clark’s relationship with Chloe. That leads him to a night of tequila shots at the club, ending with dancing and making out with Maxima. Clark arrives just in time to save Jimmy and rush him to the hospital, but Maxima spots him in super speed and realizes Clark is the guy she’s looking for. She tracks CK down at the Daily Planet and the two get hot and heavy in the elevator after Clark succumbs to her other-worldly charms, just before Lois happens on them hooking up while she’s waiting for the elevator and the door opens. She flips out and Clark goes after her despite Maxima’s protestations, putting Lois in Maxima’s crosshairs. On the street outside the building, Maxima waits for Lois, tosses her car several stories in the air and then goes after her once the car lands upside down on the next street over. Clark zooms onto the scene in time to stop the attack and in a nearby alley, he manages to resist Maxima’s advances and claims that they are soul mates and that he should return to her planet with her. When she’s rejected, she is zapped away in some sort of teleportation, leaving Clark in her wake. As for Chloe, troubles with Jimmy aren't her only concern. She’s also approached by Tess with an offer to use Chloe’s new power of a brain on par with a supercomputer to crack the mysteries of the computer-like crystal that signaled Maxima to begin with. Tess believes it may hold clues to finding Lex, but Chloe has no desire to work with anyone associated with Lex after he ratted her out to the feds last season for computer hacking crimes. Chloe’s stance changes and episode’s end when Clark tells her that he believes that by using the crystal, he may be able to recreate the Fortress of Solitude, bring back his Kryptonian father Jor-El and in the process, find a way to remove the BRAINIAC-instilled power that Chloe has been given, a power Clark fears may harm her long-term. However, when Chloe goes to the Luthor mansion to tell Tess about her reversal in thinking, Tess informs her that the crystal has been stolen. The identity of the thief is unknown, but Tess receives a taunting email, showing a pic of the crystal and asking if that’s what she’s looking for. Text in the message then says, “You aren’t ready - X.” Who is X? My guess is that X is the signature of Doomsday, the character that is the secret identity of show newcomer Sam Witwer, also known as paramedic Davis. That mystery will be solved in the weeks ahead, as will the mystery of where Lois will live now that Jimmy moving into the apartment above the Talon with Chloe has booted her from her home. Clark offers her a place to stay at the Kent Farm, where there are plenty of empty rooms and where Clark has been feeling alone (especially after finding Lana Lang’s old meteor-rock necklace in a kitchen drawer at the episode’s outset), but Lois declines. This offer comes after several moments during the episode where there was clear chemistry and connection between Lois and Clark, one of which was Maxima telling Lois that she could see a clear connection between the two, even if Lois couldn’t admit it yet. So there are definitely a couple of things to keep an eye on going forward, but until next time…..
- For me as a (soon-to-be former) Chicago Cubs fan, the Major League Baseball playoffs ended when the pathetic, choking Cubbies were swept out of the playoffs in the first round by the Dodgers despite entering the postseason with the best record in the National League. That being said, not being interested in the remainder of the playoffs hasn’t made me immune to the scourge that is a non-stop, overwhelming and really, really irritating barrage of Frank TV ads on TBS, which has rights to early rounds of playoff coverage. The same thing happened last year and I wrote the same damn thing last year, that I cannot stand Frank Caliendo, I don’t think he’s funny and I don’t care how many impressions of W. or John Madden he does, he doesn’t make me laugh. Yet here is TBS, trying to cram Caliendo’s crap-tacular show down our throats because they seem to think it’s funny even when virtually no one else does. Look guys, I know you put money into this piece of crap and would like to see a return on your investment, but it’s time to throw in the towel and admit that the show just blows. You can run five commercials for it during every commercial break on your network, every hour of the day, but that isn't going to win us over, it’s just pissing everyone off more to the point that sooner or later, viewers are going to start FedEx-ing explosive devices to your offices just to put an end to this. So I’m begging you, for your own safety and our sanity stop the commercials, pull the plug and allow us to get to work on moving past this whole unfortunate situation…..
- While there may be nothing funny about the putrid state of the U.S. economy as the dollar bottoms out, companies go under, stocks plummet and banks are going bankrupt because of bad lending practices, I have managed to find something to laugh about in relation to our current economic woes: the daily pictures of despondent Wall Street traders on various news websites. Seriously, every day there is a picture of one of these suckers in an expensive suit, power tie and wearing a look like his dog just go ran over, his wife left him, his favorite bar closed and he just found out that he’s adopted. It doesn’t matter that we don’t know the identity of these suckers because they’re all the same guy in the same pose, thinking the same semi-suicidal thoughts. I may not be oerly familiar with the workings of the DOW Jones Index and what it means when the DOW drops below 10,000 or 9,000, but that doesn’t prevent me from eagerly anticipating the next CNN picture of Joe Trader, head in hands, staring despondently off into space, the loneliest and saddest man in the world. I’m starting to wonder if these are even candid shots or if the photographers go around and solicit a different guy every day to strike the “depressed stock trader” pose. Work with me….show me depression….yes…yes, that’s it, give me despondence….show me your forlorn look….good….beautiful! It may be a small silver lining in an otherwise bleak time for our economy, but at least it’s good for a laugh, which we all need right about now….
- I can see where, if you think one of the candidates for president might die before completing his term in office, that might affect how you vote. That’s a concern very much on the minds of many Americans, according to a new CNN/Opinion Research Corp. Poll. Republican Sen. John McCain is 72, and while he may be a skin cancer survivor and have made it through five years in a Vietnamese prison, 47 percent of Americans surveyed are concerned that McCain would not finish a four-year term as president in good health. Honestly….I have to agree with them. McCain would be the oldest man sworn in for a first term as president, plus the inauguration ceremony would take place right around the same time as his customary mid-day nap. On the flip side, his opponent, Democratic Sen. Barack Obama, is 47 and the fourth-youngest major party nominee. In response to those concerns, McCain has allowed reporters to look through more than 1,100 pages of his medical records, although their time was limited and the records could not be taken out of the room where they were being kept. Also, McCain's personal physician, Dr. John Eckstein, released a letter saying there is no medical reason “that would preclude McCain from fulfilling all the duties and obligations of the president of the United States.” Hmm, wonder if the good doctor would have any reason to throw his support behind his most well-known and powerful patient…..perhaps. Those steps by McCain haven’t made the issue go away in the minds of voters, because in the CNN/Opinion Research Corp. Poll, conducted in late September, 29 percent of those polled said they are “very concerned” about McCain's ability to complete a first term and another 18 percent are “somewhat concerned.” Vote however you want, America, but the deciding factor for me won't be McCain’s health, but rather his idiotic comment that he would be willing to stay in Iraq for 100 years and perpetuate the most disastrous abortion of a war in our history if need be…..
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Hef's rotating girlfriends, a felonious relief pitcher and protecting saguro cacti
- Here’s one mom you don’t want to run afoul of. While most parents protect their children fiercely, both emotionally and physically, a 42-year-old mother in St. Charles, Illinois has taken that concept to a disturbing new low. This kook is accused of badgering her daughter's teenage ex-boyfriend with hundreds of e-mails and text messages and threatening to post nude images of him on the Internet unless he started seeing her daughter girl again. And how old are the two young lovers? Try 13 years old, so obviously this was a very serious relationship with a solid future. According to a Sleepy Hollow police officer's sworn affidavit, investigators began digging into the matter on Aug. 21 after the 13-year-old boy's parents reported that he had received hundreds of threatening e-mails and text messages from the crazed mother. And how did this psycho mom get ahold of nude pictures of her daughter’s 13-year-old boyfriend? Well, according to the boy’s parents, he and his 13-year-old girlfriend had exchanged nude photos of themselves over their cell phones. Maybe I’m just a little too conservative, but is that not a little disturbing? Maybe 18-year-olds you’d expect to do that type of thing, but 13-year-old kids? Let me put it this way: if you have Hannah Montana sheets on your bed and your main concern is whether Joey in fourth period social studies thinks you look cute today, you should not be sending nude pics of yourself to anyone. But these two did, and after the breakup, the girl's 42-year-old psycho mother threatened to post the boy's pictures online unless he got back together with the girl. At this point, police are pursuing counts of intimidation, harassment and child pornography possession in the case,. More charges could be forthcoming, as investigators are still analyzing cell phones and computers seized from the girl's home and school. Look, I’m all for taking care of your kid, but this is a bit extreme. I mean, wouldn’t the time to parent be when your 13-year-old daughter is sending nude picture messages on her cell phone? That might be the ideal time to step in and exercise your parental authority, then you can avoid having to make criminal threats against her boyfriend after they break up….
- Busy plotting how to steal a stately saguaro cactus from the Arizona desert? You may want to rethink those plans, because soon you could be hauling off more than just a giant plant to spruce up your yard. National Park Service officials plan to imbed microchips in Arizona's signature plant in order to protect them from thieves who rip them from the desert and try to sell them off to homeowners, landscapers and anyone else they can make a profit from. Park Service officials hope that the chips will deter would-be thieves, but if the cacti are stolen, the chips will allow them to track down the pilfered plants. “There's probably more of it that occurs than we're aware of,” said Bob Love, chief ranger at southern Arizona's Saguaro National Park. Last year was a tipping point in this situation, with the single largest theft ever at the park taking place when 17 saguaros were dug up and stashed for transportation later. Fortunately, the thieves were caught, but there have been plenty of other cases where three to five cacti were stolen and not recovered. Compounding the seriousness of the matter is the fact that saguaros are unique the Southwest and mostly to the Sonoran Desert, 120,000 square miles covering portions of Arizona, California and the northern Mexican states of Baja California and Sonora. With their limited habitat, their value increases, making them more attractive to thieves. Plus, if you can manage to secure one for your yard, you get a majestic plant that can grow to heights of 50 feet, sprout gaggles of arms and weigh several tons. So why not just steal smaller ones to avoid the new computer chip system? Because while saguaros are amazing plants, they can take 50 years to flower and 70 years before sprouting an arm. In other words, if you want one and want to enjoy it, you need a fully grown cactus. Back in 2000, a census of the two districts making up the Saguaro National Park outside Tucson estimated that there were 1.3 million saguaros there. Thieves typically target specimens in the 4- to 7-foot range -- which are probably 30 to 50 years old and can make $1,000 or more selling them. Now, park officials can combat that using the microchips, which don't emit a signal, but instead are each is uniquely encoded will send back a code when a special wand is waved within a foot of them. It may not be ideal because officials still have to conduct the searches and know where to look, but at least there is something in place to help combat this growing problem……
- Must be nice when losing a curvy, smokin’ hot blonde girlfriend who has been a Playboy centerfold isn't a big deal because you have two more on hand and several other candidates lined up behind them. Hugh Hefner, Playboy founder and envy of millions of men worldwide, has split with Holly Madison, one of E!'s “The Girls Next Door.” Hefner says he's been “down in the dumps” about the break-up, but how bad can it be for a guy who can cycle through 36-24-34 women like most of us go through socks? He still has Playmates Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt as girlfriends who living with him in the Playboy Mansion. “If Holly says it's over, I guess it's over,” Hefner Wednesday. “She's still here in the house. Until a few days ago, we were still sharing the same bed.” Hefner confirmed that the split came after he told Madison that they would never wed or have children. Madison handled the announcement of the breakup the way you’d expect a reality TV “star” to; in a video posted on TMZ.com Tuesday. Now you have to wonder what will become of one of the most vapid, empty, pointless wastes of time in all of television, “The Girls Next Door.” The show is in its fifth season and Hefner has said he and the three women are committed to a sixth season. However, he also plans to seek out new live-in lovers, with the two leading candidates being 19-year-old Playmate twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, who are living in the mansion, but aren't his girlfriends -- yet. That could change quickly if Hefner's relationship with his remaining two girlfriends -- Marquardt, 35, and Wilkinson, 23 -- changes with Marquardt in Europe filming the new Travel Channel series "Bridget's Beaches," and Wilkinson possibly moving out of the mansion and get her own apartment. In true Hef fashion, he said he may again seek out seven -- or more -- girlfriends. The only thing more outrageous than him saying that is the fact that he probably can……
- This literally might be the most absurd legal defense I’ve ever heard of, bar none. Ohio inmate Richard Cooey, scheduled to be executed for killing two University of Akron students in 1986, had been trying to stave off execution by arguing that he is too fat to die by lethal injection. Yes, dude says he’s too fat to be executed. Thankfully, the Ohio Supreme Court has rejected arguments that Cooey is too fat to die by lethal injection. They’ve given the go-ahead to kill of the 41-year-old, which makes sense given the fact that it makes no difference how fat Cooey is - he’s going to die. Dude, it doesn’t matter your health status, you wil be dead when this is over. You’re not going in for a complicated surgery where your doughy physique could complicate matters and put you in peril. The very nature of this procedure puts you in danger BECAUSE THE AIM IS TO KILL YOU. Nice try, but you will now be the first person to be put to death in the state of Ohio since the end of a de facto moratorium on lethal injection. However, thanks for the comedy as we had to hear your attorneys argue that prison food and limited opportunities to exercise contributed to a weight problem that would make it difficult for the execution team to find a viable vein for lethal injection. If they think they can find a vein, that I suppose that’s good enough. Plus, what are prison officials supposed to do, provide extra yard time for a death row inmate and schedule in individual time in the workout room so he can get fit enough to die? I don’t care if Richard Cooey is 5 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs 267 pounds, that sounds like a fine weight to be executed at……..
- Enough of this legal mumbo-jumbo, is Ambiorix Burgos going to be eligible to pitch next season for my fantasy baseball team or not? Seriously, do you have any idea how hard it is to fill the “accused vehicular homicide offender” slot on a roster? Right now the answer looks to be no, because the New York Mets pitcher will be jailed for three months in the city Nagua in the Dominican Republic while awaiting trial for a hit-and-run accident that killed two women. Burgos says a Dominican judge ordered him to remain behind bars Wednesday night out of concerns for his safety - well, that and the safety of innocent pedestrians he might run down in his car in the meantime. But don’t tell Burgos that things don’t look so good for him, because he seems to be operating under the impressons that he’s going to skate on these charges. “I am going to come out of this fine because my conscience is clear, and I'm not worried this will affect my career because I haven't done anything,” he said in the jailhouse interview. That opinion clearly is not shared by prosecutors, who accuse Burgos of abandoning the victims of the Sept. 30 accident and fleeing. The charges can carry six months to two years in prison, which would make him a definite no for my MLB fantasy team but a first-round pick for my Dominican prison fantasy team. Prosecutor Raul Quiroz has also stated that an investigation could lead to additional charges in the deaths of Angely Fana, 29, and Josefina Minaya, 38. Additionally, Fana's mother, Eudosia Ruane, has accused Burgos of intentionally running her daughter over because she refused to go out with him. That sounds like a pretty outrageous claim, and I hope it’s not true, because that kind of reaction would seem to indicate not only criminal tendencies on Burgos’ part, but some serious psychological and anger-management problems. According to witnesses, Burgos was the driver of the Hummer that struck the two women, while Burgos claims that he was sitting in the back seat with his cousin at the wheel. I guess now the question is whether the cousin will fall on the grenade for his famous relative, er, uh, whether Burgos is telling the truth. He’s also working the “people hate successful people” angle, saying that many people in the town are jealous of him and "exaggerate things" because he is the only Major League Baseball pitcher from Nagua. There is another reason for Burgos to need out of prison, other than providing another quality arm for my fantasy team next season; so he can go to court on Oct. 23 court New York, where he faces assault and harassment charges for allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground. “I'll get out of here soon, and I'll also clear up what happened in New York,” he said. Ambiorix, I’d like to believe you, but innocent, law-abiding people don’t keep racking up charges that include vehicular homicide, domestic violence and illegal weapon possession. You may have spent last season on the disabled list following elbow ligament replacement surgery, but that adversity is relatively small compared to the predicaments you now find yourself in…..
- Busy plotting how to steal a stately saguaro cactus from the Arizona desert? You may want to rethink those plans, because soon you could be hauling off more than just a giant plant to spruce up your yard. National Park Service officials plan to imbed microchips in Arizona's signature plant in order to protect them from thieves who rip them from the desert and try to sell them off to homeowners, landscapers and anyone else they can make a profit from. Park Service officials hope that the chips will deter would-be thieves, but if the cacti are stolen, the chips will allow them to track down the pilfered plants. “There's probably more of it that occurs than we're aware of,” said Bob Love, chief ranger at southern Arizona's Saguaro National Park. Last year was a tipping point in this situation, with the single largest theft ever at the park taking place when 17 saguaros were dug up and stashed for transportation later. Fortunately, the thieves were caught, but there have been plenty of other cases where three to five cacti were stolen and not recovered. Compounding the seriousness of the matter is the fact that saguaros are unique the Southwest and mostly to the Sonoran Desert, 120,000 square miles covering portions of Arizona, California and the northern Mexican states of Baja California and Sonora. With their limited habitat, their value increases, making them more attractive to thieves. Plus, if you can manage to secure one for your yard, you get a majestic plant that can grow to heights of 50 feet, sprout gaggles of arms and weigh several tons. So why not just steal smaller ones to avoid the new computer chip system? Because while saguaros are amazing plants, they can take 50 years to flower and 70 years before sprouting an arm. In other words, if you want one and want to enjoy it, you need a fully grown cactus. Back in 2000, a census of the two districts making up the Saguaro National Park outside Tucson estimated that there were 1.3 million saguaros there. Thieves typically target specimens in the 4- to 7-foot range -- which are probably 30 to 50 years old and can make $1,000 or more selling them. Now, park officials can combat that using the microchips, which don't emit a signal, but instead are each is uniquely encoded will send back a code when a special wand is waved within a foot of them. It may not be ideal because officials still have to conduct the searches and know where to look, but at least there is something in place to help combat this growing problem……
- Must be nice when losing a curvy, smokin’ hot blonde girlfriend who has been a Playboy centerfold isn't a big deal because you have two more on hand and several other candidates lined up behind them. Hugh Hefner, Playboy founder and envy of millions of men worldwide, has split with Holly Madison, one of E!'s “The Girls Next Door.” Hefner says he's been “down in the dumps” about the break-up, but how bad can it be for a guy who can cycle through 36-24-34 women like most of us go through socks? He still has Playmates Kendra Wilkinson and Bridget Marquardt as girlfriends who living with him in the Playboy Mansion. “If Holly says it's over, I guess it's over,” Hefner Wednesday. “She's still here in the house. Until a few days ago, we were still sharing the same bed.” Hefner confirmed that the split came after he told Madison that they would never wed or have children. Madison handled the announcement of the breakup the way you’d expect a reality TV “star” to; in a video posted on TMZ.com Tuesday. Now you have to wonder what will become of one of the most vapid, empty, pointless wastes of time in all of television, “The Girls Next Door.” The show is in its fifth season and Hefner has said he and the three women are committed to a sixth season. However, he also plans to seek out new live-in lovers, with the two leading candidates being 19-year-old Playmate twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon, who are living in the mansion, but aren't his girlfriends -- yet. That could change quickly if Hefner's relationship with his remaining two girlfriends -- Marquardt, 35, and Wilkinson, 23 -- changes with Marquardt in Europe filming the new Travel Channel series "Bridget's Beaches," and Wilkinson possibly moving out of the mansion and get her own apartment. In true Hef fashion, he said he may again seek out seven -- or more -- girlfriends. The only thing more outrageous than him saying that is the fact that he probably can……
- This literally might be the most absurd legal defense I’ve ever heard of, bar none. Ohio inmate Richard Cooey, scheduled to be executed for killing two University of Akron students in 1986, had been trying to stave off execution by arguing that he is too fat to die by lethal injection. Yes, dude says he’s too fat to be executed. Thankfully, the Ohio Supreme Court has rejected arguments that Cooey is too fat to die by lethal injection. They’ve given the go-ahead to kill of the 41-year-old, which makes sense given the fact that it makes no difference how fat Cooey is - he’s going to die. Dude, it doesn’t matter your health status, you wil be dead when this is over. You’re not going in for a complicated surgery where your doughy physique could complicate matters and put you in peril. The very nature of this procedure puts you in danger BECAUSE THE AIM IS TO KILL YOU. Nice try, but you will now be the first person to be put to death in the state of Ohio since the end of a de facto moratorium on lethal injection. However, thanks for the comedy as we had to hear your attorneys argue that prison food and limited opportunities to exercise contributed to a weight problem that would make it difficult for the execution team to find a viable vein for lethal injection. If they think they can find a vein, that I suppose that’s good enough. Plus, what are prison officials supposed to do, provide extra yard time for a death row inmate and schedule in individual time in the workout room so he can get fit enough to die? I don’t care if Richard Cooey is 5 feet, 7 inches tall and weighs 267 pounds, that sounds like a fine weight to be executed at……..
- Enough of this legal mumbo-jumbo, is Ambiorix Burgos going to be eligible to pitch next season for my fantasy baseball team or not? Seriously, do you have any idea how hard it is to fill the “accused vehicular homicide offender” slot on a roster? Right now the answer looks to be no, because the New York Mets pitcher will be jailed for three months in the city Nagua in the Dominican Republic while awaiting trial for a hit-and-run accident that killed two women. Burgos says a Dominican judge ordered him to remain behind bars Wednesday night out of concerns for his safety - well, that and the safety of innocent pedestrians he might run down in his car in the meantime. But don’t tell Burgos that things don’t look so good for him, because he seems to be operating under the impressons that he’s going to skate on these charges. “I am going to come out of this fine because my conscience is clear, and I'm not worried this will affect my career because I haven't done anything,” he said in the jailhouse interview. That opinion clearly is not shared by prosecutors, who accuse Burgos of abandoning the victims of the Sept. 30 accident and fleeing. The charges can carry six months to two years in prison, which would make him a definite no for my MLB fantasy team but a first-round pick for my Dominican prison fantasy team. Prosecutor Raul Quiroz has also stated that an investigation could lead to additional charges in the deaths of Angely Fana, 29, and Josefina Minaya, 38. Additionally, Fana's mother, Eudosia Ruane, has accused Burgos of intentionally running her daughter over because she refused to go out with him. That sounds like a pretty outrageous claim, and I hope it’s not true, because that kind of reaction would seem to indicate not only criminal tendencies on Burgos’ part, but some serious psychological and anger-management problems. According to witnesses, Burgos was the driver of the Hummer that struck the two women, while Burgos claims that he was sitting in the back seat with his cousin at the wheel. I guess now the question is whether the cousin will fall on the grenade for his famous relative, er, uh, whether Burgos is telling the truth. He’s also working the “people hate successful people” angle, saying that many people in the town are jealous of him and "exaggerate things" because he is the only Major League Baseball pitcher from Nagua. There is another reason for Burgos to need out of prison, other than providing another quality arm for my fantasy team next season; so he can go to court on Oct. 23 court New York, where he faces assault and harassment charges for allegedly throwing his girlfriend to the ground. “I'll get out of here soon, and I'll also clear up what happened in New York,” he said. Ambiorix, I’d like to believe you, but innocent, law-abiding people don’t keep racking up charges that include vehicular homicide, domestic violence and illegal weapon possession. You may have spent last season on the disabled list following elbow ligament replacement surgery, but that adversity is relatively small compared to the predicaments you now find yourself in…..
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Last night's Greek, proof of morons in Montana and Pacman, a constant source of things to mock
- God bless you, Pacman Jones. You are one thing in this world I can count on, something I know will provide an endless string of controversial and idiotic incidents to rip even when avoiding said incidents is the only way to save your lucrative NFL career. Since being traded to the Dallas Cowboys during the offseason and being reinstated by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell following a one-year ban for continued run-ins with the law, Pacman has been under 24/7 surveillance by special security hired by Cowboys owner Jerry Jones to ensure that he remains on the right side of the law. It seemed like a good idea….right up to the point that Pac got into a fight with one of his security guards at a downtown Dallas hotel on Wednesday morning. Initial reports indicated that Jones was involved in an altercation at the Joule Hotel in Dallas, damaging a bathroom. Dallas Deputy Chief Vince Golbeck stated that police were called to the scene at 1:30 a.m. this morning. No police report was filed and no one will be arrested or charged in the incident, which isn't surprising. If Pac is brawling with the security guards the team put in place to keep him out of trouble, of course they’re not going to press charges; they are there to do whatever it takes to keep him on the field, which in this case means keeping their mouths shut. No one is commenting - not the Cowboys, not the NFL and not Pacman’s attorney. One source confirmed that NFL Security has been notified and is investigating, so this thing isn't over yet. Ironically, today was also the day that Goodell visited Cowboys players at their Valley Ranch training complex, which he does with every team in the league prior to each season. Before he met with the Cowboys, Goodell told reporters in San Antonio: “Adam knows how much emphasis I put on making sure that he makes good choices going forward, that he avoids situations where he can reflect poorly on himself, the Cowboys or the NFL. So far he seems to have been able to do that very effectively.” Yeah, he did that for all of a month or so, commish, but I think we all knew that it was a matter of when, not if, the real Pac would resurface. Anyone who believed Pacman when, at the time of his reinstatement on Aug. 28, he said: “I know my responsibilities to the NFL and I'm going to hold my own and do what I need to do to make sure I stay where I am right now, which is reinstated. I work hard every day to make sure I don't make the same mistakes. Can I say I would never ever make the same mistakes? No, I can't say that. I'll make sure I put myself in way better situations than I have put myself in the past.” Either that or you were a ticking time bomb waiting for your next explosion of violence, one or the other. Just be glad that this time it was directed at someone who has no choice but to look the other way…..
- Never let it be said that the good folks at Google aren't looking out for your best interests. In addition to providing Google Earth so you can snoop with aerial pictures of the back yard of random people, perhaps searching for hidden marijuana gardens if your supply is running short, but they are now offering Mail Goggles, a feature designed to prevent you from making those drunken, late-night emails that you later regret. By using Mail Goggles on your Gmail account, you are forced, at preset times on nights and weekends, to completed a series of simple math problems in order to gain access to your email. They aren’t complicated problems; simple addition, subtraction and multiplication. If you can complete them in the time frame allowed, you gain access to your account. If not, you receive a message telling you to sleep it off and try again in the morning. Very nice of Google to use simple arithmetic to help people from drunken missives at 2:15 a.m. after a night at the bar or a kegger, but just a question: what if people are just too stupid to answer the math problems correctly, even when sober? Are there different levels of difficulty here, like first grade math for idiots, high school algebra and proofs for the smarter among us? Either way, props to Google for trying to do something to help the drunken idiot out there, since I guess installing a Breathalyzer lock on computers like repeat DUI offenders must install on their cars wouldn’t work……
- So what does the “most romantic night of the year” on ABC Family’s Greek look like? Depends who you ask. With every Greek organization on campus gearing up for formal season, everyone had their own take on the ritual. The Kappa Tau house chose a name at random to organize their formal, with Rusty Cartwright drawing the honors. He worked hard to plan a great formal because he didn’t get to attend his high school prom (no date, been there), but after scouring decoration stores, picking the perfect music and arranging a date, Rusty shows up at the KT house to find that the formal has been canceled and the funds allotted for it used to throw an “informal” complete with bounce pits and “man boob contests.” Disheartened, Rusty stops by the Zeta Beta house to ask if he can borrow his big sis Casey’s car to return his tux. He runs into her BFF Ashleigh, who thinks she has a better solution: finding Rusty a date from among three ZBZ sisters who don’t have one for the ZBZ formal. But when each of the three balk at going with Rusty, Casey suggests that Ashleigh, is also dateless, go with him. Ashleigh agrees and ends up with Rusty as her date, while Casey goes back and forth on whether she should bring new beau Max to the formal. Since it’s election time for sorority president and she needs to politic and schmooze the sisters and Max can be a bit awkward and odd, she worries if he will fit in. That leads to Max initially saying he will just stay home, but once he hears Rusty talk about how it’s supposed to be the most romantic night of the year on the Greek calendar, he reconsiders and rushes over to the ZBZ house to tell Casey he wants to go. Casey spends plenty of time prepping Max, even making flash cards to help him better know the sisters of ZBZ so he can schmooze right alongside her. Schmoozing is also what Casey’s rival for president, Frannie, has in mind. She uses new boyfriend Evan Chambers’ Omega Chi brothers to serve as dates for ZBZ sisters to curry favor, a ploy that seems pretty successful. Her run of success hits a snag at the formal when Max takes to the dance floor and catches his watch in her hair, tangling to two up and ruining her ‘do. Rusty has problems of his own at formal, problems that start with he and Max arranging for a horse-drawn carriage to take them and their dates to the event, which was a problem because the formal was eight miles away and the carriage ride remains a decidedly un-speedy means of transportation. When the four of them arrive, Rusty is taunted by Evan, who ridicules him for being a pity date for Ashleigh who doesn’t deserve to be with a beautiful girl like her. Rusty responds by trying to put some moves on Ashleigh, who is taken aback. Her reaction sends Rusty running, left to chastise himself in a storage room. When Ashleigh finds out what has gotten into Rusty, she asks him to dance and right in front of Evan and Frannie, she and Rusty share several long kisses. Casey has a reaction of her own, confronting Evan, telling him what a tool he is and informing him that the reason he hates Rusty is because Rusty has known all along what a jerk he is. After that, Casey and Max head out in the carriage, with Max taking a minute to tell Evan that he doesn’t understand how he could have let Casey get away. Speaking of getting away…..Cappie and Rebecca Logan may have broken up at the beginning of the season, but that doesn’t mean they’re clear of each other. When they run into each other while Cappie is in front of the KT house working on his car, they start to argue but end up getting after it in the back of his car. The same thing happens when Rebecca decides not to go to the ZBZ formal and stays at the house. Cappie shows up to return her toothbrush and instead the two end up having sex in nearly every room in the house, which is actually a little creepy and disgusting. But at the end of the night, Rebecca realizes that she needs to street totally clear of Cappie in order to get over him and move on, which means no more sex and not even being friends for the time being. It was actually a really good episode, not the least of which is due to the fact that the über-annoying Dale had only a short amount of screen time, only being on long enough to mock Max for not wanting to go to formal with Casey and hoping Max’s absence would be his chance to go with Casey, clearly a Dale pip dream. This was the fourth-to-last episode of the season, which is sad, but it has been a great Season 3 and I’m looking forward to next week, as I’m sure you are as well……
- Should anyone really have to tell you that touching a dead, wild animal is a bad idea? Clearly the answer to that question is yes, otherwise 90 elementary school students in Stevensville, Montana would not be starting a series of rabies shots after a parent let them touch a dead bat that was later confirmed to be diseased. The idiot in question is mother of two students at the school and gave presentations in five classrooms, allowing the children to touch the dead bat. Obviously those presentations weren’t on the importance of not picking up roadkill or handling dead, wild animals that could possibly give you rabies. Perhaps the school needs to first verify that those giving presentations to elementary school students are in fact smarter than said students. The women did add a nice, albeit futile, touch when she offered each student who touched the bat a sanitary wipe. Now those lucky children will not only get a sanitary wipe, they will also receive six shots of anti-rabies vaccine. For future reference, sanitary wipes are what you get at a restaurant to clean food from your face, especially messy things like pasta sauce. You use them on your child to clean off marinara sauce, not to clean your hands after touching a dead animal that may be carrying rabies. Stevensville Elementary School officials say they will use liability insurance to pay up to $70,000 for the exposed children to be vaccinated, with the overall cost possibly surpassing $150,000. Additionally, the school has since set a policy requiring that anyone visiting the school obtain a visitor pass, but sadly no IQ test will be implemented for visitors as part of the new policy…..
- This is not what I would call a hopeful development for a struggling U.S. economy. The National Debt Clock in New York City, built by late Manhattan real estate developer Seymour Durst in 1989 to draw attention to what was, at that time, a $2.7 trillion debt, has run out of digits to record the amount of the deficit. When it became apparent that the sign was running out of spaces, a short-term fix of replacing the digital dollar sign on the billboard-style clock near Times Square to a number -- for the time being, the "1" in $10 trillion - was put into play. But like Rosie O’Donnell loosening the waistband on her ginormous pants to accommodate her ever-growing girth, it was a band aid on a broken dam. Just as Rosie is bound to grow too fat for any clothing she owns, the debt was bound to become too large to be contained by the Debt Clock. It has served us well, reminding Americans of the ginormous debt our nation is racking up (I’m guessing spending tens of BILLIONS of dollars a month on an unjustified, fraudulent war in Iraq every month for six years hasn’t helped), but this particular clock has gone as far as it can go. Thankfully, the Durst Organization says it plans to update the sign next year by adding two digits, which will make the clock capable of tracking debt up to a quadrillion dollars. That’s awesome, but I have to ask, what are we going to do in 2017 when that clock can no longer contain the debt? This may be a battle that the principles of mathematics and digital sign technology are no match for…..
- Never let it be said that the good folks at Google aren't looking out for your best interests. In addition to providing Google Earth so you can snoop with aerial pictures of the back yard of random people, perhaps searching for hidden marijuana gardens if your supply is running short, but they are now offering Mail Goggles, a feature designed to prevent you from making those drunken, late-night emails that you later regret. By using Mail Goggles on your Gmail account, you are forced, at preset times on nights and weekends, to completed a series of simple math problems in order to gain access to your email. They aren’t complicated problems; simple addition, subtraction and multiplication. If you can complete them in the time frame allowed, you gain access to your account. If not, you receive a message telling you to sleep it off and try again in the morning. Very nice of Google to use simple arithmetic to help people from drunken missives at 2:15 a.m. after a night at the bar or a kegger, but just a question: what if people are just too stupid to answer the math problems correctly, even when sober? Are there different levels of difficulty here, like first grade math for idiots, high school algebra and proofs for the smarter among us? Either way, props to Google for trying to do something to help the drunken idiot out there, since I guess installing a Breathalyzer lock on computers like repeat DUI offenders must install on their cars wouldn’t work……
- So what does the “most romantic night of the year” on ABC Family’s Greek look like? Depends who you ask. With every Greek organization on campus gearing up for formal season, everyone had their own take on the ritual. The Kappa Tau house chose a name at random to organize their formal, with Rusty Cartwright drawing the honors. He worked hard to plan a great formal because he didn’t get to attend his high school prom (no date, been there), but after scouring decoration stores, picking the perfect music and arranging a date, Rusty shows up at the KT house to find that the formal has been canceled and the funds allotted for it used to throw an “informal” complete with bounce pits and “man boob contests.” Disheartened, Rusty stops by the Zeta Beta house to ask if he can borrow his big sis Casey’s car to return his tux. He runs into her BFF Ashleigh, who thinks she has a better solution: finding Rusty a date from among three ZBZ sisters who don’t have one for the ZBZ formal. But when each of the three balk at going with Rusty, Casey suggests that Ashleigh, is also dateless, go with him. Ashleigh agrees and ends up with Rusty as her date, while Casey goes back and forth on whether she should bring new beau Max to the formal. Since it’s election time for sorority president and she needs to politic and schmooze the sisters and Max can be a bit awkward and odd, she worries if he will fit in. That leads to Max initially saying he will just stay home, but once he hears Rusty talk about how it’s supposed to be the most romantic night of the year on the Greek calendar, he reconsiders and rushes over to the ZBZ house to tell Casey he wants to go. Casey spends plenty of time prepping Max, even making flash cards to help him better know the sisters of ZBZ so he can schmooze right alongside her. Schmoozing is also what Casey’s rival for president, Frannie, has in mind. She uses new boyfriend Evan Chambers’ Omega Chi brothers to serve as dates for ZBZ sisters to curry favor, a ploy that seems pretty successful. Her run of success hits a snag at the formal when Max takes to the dance floor and catches his watch in her hair, tangling to two up and ruining her ‘do. Rusty has problems of his own at formal, problems that start with he and Max arranging for a horse-drawn carriage to take them and their dates to the event, which was a problem because the formal was eight miles away and the carriage ride remains a decidedly un-speedy means of transportation. When the four of them arrive, Rusty is taunted by Evan, who ridicules him for being a pity date for Ashleigh who doesn’t deserve to be with a beautiful girl like her. Rusty responds by trying to put some moves on Ashleigh, who is taken aback. Her reaction sends Rusty running, left to chastise himself in a storage room. When Ashleigh finds out what has gotten into Rusty, she asks him to dance and right in front of Evan and Frannie, she and Rusty share several long kisses. Casey has a reaction of her own, confronting Evan, telling him what a tool he is and informing him that the reason he hates Rusty is because Rusty has known all along what a jerk he is. After that, Casey and Max head out in the carriage, with Max taking a minute to tell Evan that he doesn’t understand how he could have let Casey get away. Speaking of getting away…..Cappie and Rebecca Logan may have broken up at the beginning of the season, but that doesn’t mean they’re clear of each other. When they run into each other while Cappie is in front of the KT house working on his car, they start to argue but end up getting after it in the back of his car. The same thing happens when Rebecca decides not to go to the ZBZ formal and stays at the house. Cappie shows up to return her toothbrush and instead the two end up having sex in nearly every room in the house, which is actually a little creepy and disgusting. But at the end of the night, Rebecca realizes that she needs to street totally clear of Cappie in order to get over him and move on, which means no more sex and not even being friends for the time being. It was actually a really good episode, not the least of which is due to the fact that the über-annoying Dale had only a short amount of screen time, only being on long enough to mock Max for not wanting to go to formal with Casey and hoping Max’s absence would be his chance to go with Casey, clearly a Dale pip dream. This was the fourth-to-last episode of the season, which is sad, but it has been a great Season 3 and I’m looking forward to next week, as I’m sure you are as well……
- Should anyone really have to tell you that touching a dead, wild animal is a bad idea? Clearly the answer to that question is yes, otherwise 90 elementary school students in Stevensville, Montana would not be starting a series of rabies shots after a parent let them touch a dead bat that was later confirmed to be diseased. The idiot in question is mother of two students at the school and gave presentations in five classrooms, allowing the children to touch the dead bat. Obviously those presentations weren’t on the importance of not picking up roadkill or handling dead, wild animals that could possibly give you rabies. Perhaps the school needs to first verify that those giving presentations to elementary school students are in fact smarter than said students. The women did add a nice, albeit futile, touch when she offered each student who touched the bat a sanitary wipe. Now those lucky children will not only get a sanitary wipe, they will also receive six shots of anti-rabies vaccine. For future reference, sanitary wipes are what you get at a restaurant to clean food from your face, especially messy things like pasta sauce. You use them on your child to clean off marinara sauce, not to clean your hands after touching a dead animal that may be carrying rabies. Stevensville Elementary School officials say they will use liability insurance to pay up to $70,000 for the exposed children to be vaccinated, with the overall cost possibly surpassing $150,000. Additionally, the school has since set a policy requiring that anyone visiting the school obtain a visitor pass, but sadly no IQ test will be implemented for visitors as part of the new policy…..
- This is not what I would call a hopeful development for a struggling U.S. economy. The National Debt Clock in New York City, built by late Manhattan real estate developer Seymour Durst in 1989 to draw attention to what was, at that time, a $2.7 trillion debt, has run out of digits to record the amount of the deficit. When it became apparent that the sign was running out of spaces, a short-term fix of replacing the digital dollar sign on the billboard-style clock near Times Square to a number -- for the time being, the "1" in $10 trillion - was put into play. But like Rosie O’Donnell loosening the waistband on her ginormous pants to accommodate her ever-growing girth, it was a band aid on a broken dam. Just as Rosie is bound to grow too fat for any clothing she owns, the debt was bound to become too large to be contained by the Debt Clock. It has served us well, reminding Americans of the ginormous debt our nation is racking up (I’m guessing spending tens of BILLIONS of dollars a month on an unjustified, fraudulent war in Iraq every month for six years hasn’t helped), but this particular clock has gone as far as it can go. Thankfully, the Durst Organization says it plans to update the sign next year by adding two digits, which will make the clock capable of tracking debt up to a quadrillion dollars. That’s awesome, but I have to ask, what are we going to do in 2017 when that clock can no longer contain the debt? This may be a battle that the principles of mathematics and digital sign technology are no match for…..
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Riot Watch! time, last night's Heroes and interviews in Pterodactyl
- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! And where else could we be going but to those beautiful rioters in Thailand who clashed with police today and forced The Man to fire tear gas canisters at the several thousand angry demonstrators trying to bar lawmakers from Parliament? Because of this wholly justified, totally rockin’ protest, police ended up injuring dozens of demonstrators and dumping gasoline on a political crisis that has been jarring the country for six weeks. As you might expect, the police are doing their best to lie, deceive, manipulate and bend the truth, with but police Maj. Gen. Viboon Bangthamai said that only tear gas was being used against the crowd even though reporters at the scene in Bangkok heard sounds of gunfire. A total of forty-six people were injured, including two seriously. One of them lost his leg, another was hit with shrapnel in the chest, so great job on that, Thai police. Way to go completely overboard against a group of innocent civilians looking to take a stand and make a statement. The timing of the demonstration was ironic, coming just hours before Prime Minister Somchai Wongsawat, who was sworn in Sept. 25, was scheduled to deliver his government's policy statement to lawmakers. Hopefully that policy statement included a vow to stop abusive, overzealous use of excessive force by police, but somehow I doubt it…..
- Never been a huge fan of Esquire magazine or of those “world’s sexiest” lists that such mags like to throw out there. That sort of stuff is completely subjective, but in spite of that, I had to say something when I heard that Esquire had released it’s list of the sexiest women alive and none other than Halle Berry was at the top of the list. Yes, Berry is hot, but she is also 42 years old. That doesn’t mean she’s not stil attractive, but you mean to tell me you’re passing over women like Scarlett Johannson, Jessica Biel and Kiera Knightley for the 42-year-old Berry? Come on…..you’ve got to be kidding me. This story plays out in the magazine’s November issue, with Barry saying of the honor, “I don't know exactly what it means, but being 42 and having just had a baby, I think I'll take it.” Nice, so not only did you pick a 42-year-old, you picked one who just had a baby seven months ago. To be fair, Berry should probably be stripped of this title if for no other reason that her über-cheesy comment regarding winning it. “I share this title with every woman, because every woman is a nominee for it at any moment,” she says. No Halle, every woman is not a nominee for it at any moment. Face it, there are some women out there who are not sexy at any moment, given the fact that they are hundreds of pounds overweight. But anyhow, I digress…..do a better job picking these honors if you’re going to pick them at all, Esquire…….
- Not a good year for the University of Tennessee football team and it’s getting worse (and weirder) by the minute. With the team sporting a pathetic 2-3 record and coming off a far-too-close home win over Northern Illinois, Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer announced that offensive linemen Ramone Johnson and Darius Myers have been suspended for the Volunteers' upcoming games against Georgia and Mississippi State due to lack of academic effort and violation of team rules. The two aren't stars or players whose loss will decimate the Vols, but it’s another personnel loss and black eye for a team that is failing to meet expectations in every possible way. Not what you want for a team preparing to travel to No. 10 Georgia (4-1, 1-1) on Saturday. As for the weird, we now come to Tennessee’s starting tailback, Arian Foster. The senior, who is on the verge of becoming UT's all-time leading rusher, decided that for any interviews he conducts, whoever interviewed him had to speak Pterodactyl, a made-up dinosaur language. Since no Pterodactyl-speaking people could be found to talk to Foster, no interview was conducted. Maybe it was supposed to be funny, maybe Foster just didn’t want to talk and this was his way of accomplishing that, but seeing dude shriek, “Veeeeek! Veeeeek! Veeeeek!” was equal parts bizarre and sad. Nice season, Tennessee, I bet you’re wishing for a do-over at this point…..
- Much of this week’s Heroes took place four years in the future, a very differtent and dangerous place. The vision of the future is seen on two fronts, one of which is Matt Parkman, still on his spirit walk in Africa, having been given a mystery paste to eat and headphones to wear that play some sort of noise or music that put him into a trance in which he can see the future. We also see the future via Future Peter Petrelli, who has brought Present Day Peter into the future to see how bad the world has become, which is evident almost immediately as everyone in sight has a super power courtesy of Dr. Mohinder Suresh’s formula, developed earlier this season. Before Future Peter can show too much of this new world to his past self, he is gunned down by Claire Bennet, who is sporting brown hair and a bad attitude in the future. She kills Future Peter for reasons that still aren't clear and takes his body back to Company headquarters where Knox, one of the villains from earlier this season, and speedster Daphne are waiting. With his future self dead, P.D. Peter’s only directions were to go to Costa Verde, California, the former home of Claire and her family. There, he found Sylar, albeit in a very unfamiliar, bizarre role: homemaker. Sylar has a son, Noah, for whom he is making waffles when Peter arrives. Sylar and Peter talk in the study, with Peter telling Sylar he’s there to take his power from him. Sylar cautions him not to do so, but after Peter tells Sylar to use the ability he stole from Isaac Mendez to paint the future and Sylar paints the same exploding Earth that we’ve seen depicted throughout the season, he agrees to let Peter take on his power, but warns him that the power comes with an insatiable hunger for more power and to understand how everything works. Peter takes the power anyhow after the test of fixing Sylar’s broken watch, apropos because Sylar was a watch repairman and learning how watches work drove him to want to understand how people and their powers work. Peter gets Sylar’s power and is prepared to leave when Claire, Daphne and Knox arriving, having used Molly, the girl with the power to locate anyone, anywhere in the world, to track down Peter. A showdown ensues in which Peter and Sylar are attacked by Claire, Knox and Daphne, with little Noah ending up as a casualty. That set off Sylar, who like Peter in Season 1, had the power to generate immense heat and thus could explode like a giant atom bomb. That’s exactly what happened, with an explosion resulting that wiped out the entire town of Costa Verde. Claire survives because she’s indestructible, but Daphne isn't fast enough, even with her super speed, to get away unscathed. She’s badly burned and barely makes it back home to New York, where as it turns out, she is Parkman’s wife and Molly’s adopted mother. They’ve been living happily together and Parkman and Daphne even have a baby daughter, but Daphne insisted on going to apprehend Peter and she ends up paying for it. Also in this episode, Tracy Strauss, the Nikki Sanders look-a-like, visited the doctor who she tracked down last week to find out what the link was between her and Nikki. The doctor tells her that people from the Company paid him and other doctors to genetically alter Nikki, Tracy and a third sibling, all born at the same time, with special abilities. When this doctor tells Tracy there is no way to take away her ability to freeze things to deadly temperatures with just the touch of her hand, she can't handle it and tries to jump off a bridge to kill herself. However, Nathan Petrelli, now the junior senator from New York thanks to Tracy, flies in and saves her. Four years into the future, we find out that, true to the word of Linderman, who was an all-powerful figure in Season 2 but was killed and is now appearing to Nathan in visions, Nathan has become President of the United States and Tracy is the First Lady. In that capacity, Nathan goes toNew York to visit Peter, who is now in Company custody. He tells Peter that because of Costa Verde, Congress has agreed to full proliferation to battle the growing problem of people with powers using them irrespnsbiliy, but Peter reads Nathan’s mind and tells him that though his intentions are good, he’s doing the wrong thing. Using his telepathic hand, moving people with his mind trick, Peter raises Nathan up off the ground and is choking the life from him as the hunger that goes with Sylar’s power takes him over. He starts to slice open Nathan’s head, just like Sylar, but stops when his conscience kicks in. He teleports back to the present, to Level 5, and goes toe to toe with Sylar, who taunts Peter that now they are exactly the same, which he reinforces by reminding Peter that they are, in fact, brothers. One other storyline bridging present and future is that of Mohinder Suresh, who in the present has injected himself with a serum that is at the heart of the trouble in the future, the serum that can give powers to anyone by enhancing their DNA. In the present, Mohinder has locked himself in his lab, neglected all of his life outside of working on a way to reverse the effects of the serum and help his new gal pal Maya in the process. He snaps at her because among other things, the serum has affected his moods and he is tense and irritable. He vows to find a cure, but in the future, it’s clear that cure didn’t come because 1) nearly everyone who can afford the serum has powers, and 2) when Peter visits Mohinder four years in the future, Mohinder is cloaked in a hooded shirt that covers his face, insists on remaining out of the light (as he showed aversions to the light in present day scenes) and the small part of his skin that is visible, his hand, is some sort of dark, scaly mess. Things aren’t looking good for Mohinder, as they aren’t for the world in general. One hope to right the ship is Hiro Nakamura, heir to the Nakamura Industries throne of his late father Kaito and the one who allowed both halves of the deadly formula that could destroy the world fall into the hands of Daphne Millbrook, who was paid to steal them for a still-unidentified buyer. Hiro and Ando have been captured and are prisoners in Level 5 at the Company, but as they try to mend their differences and ailing friendship so they can escape, the eerie Haitian foils their plan and they are taken to meet with new Company head Angela Petrelli. She informs Hiro that only he can save the world because he has the key figure to do so - Adam Monroe, a.k.a. Takezo Kensei, whom Hiro spent much time in the year 1671 last season and who has the power of healing and immortality. Hiro imprisoned Adam in a coffin in the same Japanese cemetery where his father is buried in last season’s finale, but now Hiro must dig up Adam/Kensei, who isn't too happy to see him. Parkman also is in an unhappy state after waking up from his trance of seeing the future and realizing he now must try to stop it from happening. His African friend tells him to find his totem, a guide to lead his way, which often takes the form of an animal. Parkman begins following a turtle around the wilderness, so you have to wonder where that will lead also. As the episode ends, Adam Monroe’s hand is around Hiro’s neck, so that’s how it’ll stay until next time…..
- Britney Spears has never been accused of being smart. It’s a reputation she appears intent on defending, because she says she is prepared to go to trial in her misdemeanor driving-without-license case after rejecting a plea offer of a year's probation and a $150 fine. Yes, she could have paid a fine that amount to the loose change ratling around in her purse and been on probation for a year, but she insists on going to trial…for what? Nice legal strategy by her lawyer, J. Michael Flanagan (always, always make sure your attorney rocks an initial before their first name, very important), who claims that the pop singer was being targeted because she's a celebrity and doesn't deserve even a minor criminal conviction on her record. The issue isn't whether she was targeted, Joe; it’s whether she drove without a license or not. Her trial is set for Oct. 15 in Van Nuys after an appeals court rejected Spears' efforts to dismiss the misdemeanor charge and put the case put on hold. Not that Brit was even on hand for her own court appearance; Flanagan had said in court papers that Spears, a perpetual train wreck to be sure was “currently unable to participate meaningfully” in the traffic case. These charges stem from her fender-bender in August 2007, after which a hit-and-run charge was eventually dismissed after the singer compensated the other driver for damages. Since then, Brit has obtained a California license, but that probably isn't going to be enough here. Then again, this is Southern California, where famous people go free for most anything…..
- Never been a huge fan of Esquire magazine or of those “world’s sexiest” lists that such mags like to throw out there. That sort of stuff is completely subjective, but in spite of that, I had to say something when I heard that Esquire had released it’s list of the sexiest women alive and none other than Halle Berry was at the top of the list. Yes, Berry is hot, but she is also 42 years old. That doesn’t mean she’s not stil attractive, but you mean to tell me you’re passing over women like Scarlett Johannson, Jessica Biel and Kiera Knightley for the 42-year-old Berry? Come on…..you’ve got to be kidding me. This story plays out in the magazine’s November issue, with Barry saying of the honor, “I don't know exactly what it means, but being 42 and having just had a baby, I think I'll take it.” Nice, so not only did you pick a 42-year-old, you picked one who just had a baby seven months ago. To be fair, Berry should probably be stripped of this title if for no other reason that her über-cheesy comment regarding winning it. “I share this title with every woman, because every woman is a nominee for it at any moment,” she says. No Halle, every woman is not a nominee for it at any moment. Face it, there are some women out there who are not sexy at any moment, given the fact that they are hundreds of pounds overweight. But anyhow, I digress…..do a better job picking these honors if you’re going to pick them at all, Esquire…….
- Not a good year for the University of Tennessee football team and it’s getting worse (and weirder) by the minute. With the team sporting a pathetic 2-3 record and coming off a far-too-close home win over Northern Illinois, Tennessee coach Phillip Fulmer announced that offensive linemen Ramone Johnson and Darius Myers have been suspended for the Volunteers' upcoming games against Georgia and Mississippi State due to lack of academic effort and violation of team rules. The two aren't stars or players whose loss will decimate the Vols, but it’s another personnel loss and black eye for a team that is failing to meet expectations in every possible way. Not what you want for a team preparing to travel to No. 10 Georgia (4-1, 1-1) on Saturday. As for the weird, we now come to Tennessee’s starting tailback, Arian Foster. The senior, who is on the verge of becoming UT's all-time leading rusher, decided that for any interviews he conducts, whoever interviewed him had to speak Pterodactyl, a made-up dinosaur language. Since no Pterodactyl-speaking people could be found to talk to Foster, no interview was conducted. Maybe it was supposed to be funny, maybe Foster just didn’t want to talk and this was his way of accomplishing that, but seeing dude shriek, “Veeeeek! Veeeeek! Veeeeek!” was equal parts bizarre and sad. Nice season, Tennessee, I bet you’re wishing for a do-over at this point…..
- Much of this week’s Heroes took place four years in the future, a very differtent and dangerous place. The vision of the future is seen on two fronts, one of which is Matt Parkman, still on his spirit walk in Africa, having been given a mystery paste to eat and headphones to wear that play some sort of noise or music that put him into a trance in which he can see the future. We also see the future via Future Peter Petrelli, who has brought Present Day Peter into the future to see how bad the world has become, which is evident almost immediately as everyone in sight has a super power courtesy of Dr. Mohinder Suresh’s formula, developed earlier this season. Before Future Peter can show too much of this new world to his past self, he is gunned down by Claire Bennet, who is sporting brown hair and a bad attitude in the future. She kills Future Peter for reasons that still aren't clear and takes his body back to Company headquarters where Knox, one of the villains from earlier this season, and speedster Daphne are waiting. With his future self dead, P.D. Peter’s only directions were to go to Costa Verde, California, the former home of Claire and her family. There, he found Sylar, albeit in a very unfamiliar, bizarre role: homemaker. Sylar has a son, Noah, for whom he is making waffles when Peter arrives. Sylar and Peter talk in the study, with Peter telling Sylar he’s there to take his power from him. Sylar cautions him not to do so, but after Peter tells Sylar to use the ability he stole from Isaac Mendez to paint the future and Sylar paints the same exploding Earth that we’ve seen depicted throughout the season, he agrees to let Peter take on his power, but warns him that the power comes with an insatiable hunger for more power and to understand how everything works. Peter takes the power anyhow after the test of fixing Sylar’s broken watch, apropos because Sylar was a watch repairman and learning how watches work drove him to want to understand how people and their powers work. Peter gets Sylar’s power and is prepared to leave when Claire, Daphne and Knox arriving, having used Molly, the girl with the power to locate anyone, anywhere in the world, to track down Peter. A showdown ensues in which Peter and Sylar are attacked by Claire, Knox and Daphne, with little Noah ending up as a casualty. That set off Sylar, who like Peter in Season 1, had the power to generate immense heat and thus could explode like a giant atom bomb. That’s exactly what happened, with an explosion resulting that wiped out the entire town of Costa Verde. Claire survives because she’s indestructible, but Daphne isn't fast enough, even with her super speed, to get away unscathed. She’s badly burned and barely makes it back home to New York, where as it turns out, she is Parkman’s wife and Molly’s adopted mother. They’ve been living happily together and Parkman and Daphne even have a baby daughter, but Daphne insisted on going to apprehend Peter and she ends up paying for it. Also in this episode, Tracy Strauss, the Nikki Sanders look-a-like, visited the doctor who she tracked down last week to find out what the link was between her and Nikki. The doctor tells her that people from the Company paid him and other doctors to genetically alter Nikki, Tracy and a third sibling, all born at the same time, with special abilities. When this doctor tells Tracy there is no way to take away her ability to freeze things to deadly temperatures with just the touch of her hand, she can't handle it and tries to jump off a bridge to kill herself. However, Nathan Petrelli, now the junior senator from New York thanks to Tracy, flies in and saves her. Four years into the future, we find out that, true to the word of Linderman, who was an all-powerful figure in Season 2 but was killed and is now appearing to Nathan in visions, Nathan has become President of the United States and Tracy is the First Lady. In that capacity, Nathan goes toNew York to visit Peter, who is now in Company custody. He tells Peter that because of Costa Verde, Congress has agreed to full proliferation to battle the growing problem of people with powers using them irrespnsbiliy, but Peter reads Nathan’s mind and tells him that though his intentions are good, he’s doing the wrong thing. Using his telepathic hand, moving people with his mind trick, Peter raises Nathan up off the ground and is choking the life from him as the hunger that goes with Sylar’s power takes him over. He starts to slice open Nathan’s head, just like Sylar, but stops when his conscience kicks in. He teleports back to the present, to Level 5, and goes toe to toe with Sylar, who taunts Peter that now they are exactly the same, which he reinforces by reminding Peter that they are, in fact, brothers. One other storyline bridging present and future is that of Mohinder Suresh, who in the present has injected himself with a serum that is at the heart of the trouble in the future, the serum that can give powers to anyone by enhancing their DNA. In the present, Mohinder has locked himself in his lab, neglected all of his life outside of working on a way to reverse the effects of the serum and help his new gal pal Maya in the process. He snaps at her because among other things, the serum has affected his moods and he is tense and irritable. He vows to find a cure, but in the future, it’s clear that cure didn’t come because 1) nearly everyone who can afford the serum has powers, and 2) when Peter visits Mohinder four years in the future, Mohinder is cloaked in a hooded shirt that covers his face, insists on remaining out of the light (as he showed aversions to the light in present day scenes) and the small part of his skin that is visible, his hand, is some sort of dark, scaly mess. Things aren’t looking good for Mohinder, as they aren’t for the world in general. One hope to right the ship is Hiro Nakamura, heir to the Nakamura Industries throne of his late father Kaito and the one who allowed both halves of the deadly formula that could destroy the world fall into the hands of Daphne Millbrook, who was paid to steal them for a still-unidentified buyer. Hiro and Ando have been captured and are prisoners in Level 5 at the Company, but as they try to mend their differences and ailing friendship so they can escape, the eerie Haitian foils their plan and they are taken to meet with new Company head Angela Petrelli. She informs Hiro that only he can save the world because he has the key figure to do so - Adam Monroe, a.k.a. Takezo Kensei, whom Hiro spent much time in the year 1671 last season and who has the power of healing and immortality. Hiro imprisoned Adam in a coffin in the same Japanese cemetery where his father is buried in last season’s finale, but now Hiro must dig up Adam/Kensei, who isn't too happy to see him. Parkman also is in an unhappy state after waking up from his trance of seeing the future and realizing he now must try to stop it from happening. His African friend tells him to find his totem, a guide to lead his way, which often takes the form of an animal. Parkman begins following a turtle around the wilderness, so you have to wonder where that will lead also. As the episode ends, Adam Monroe’s hand is around Hiro’s neck, so that’s how it’ll stay until next time…..
- Britney Spears has never been accused of being smart. It’s a reputation she appears intent on defending, because she says she is prepared to go to trial in her misdemeanor driving-without-license case after rejecting a plea offer of a year's probation and a $150 fine. Yes, she could have paid a fine that amount to the loose change ratling around in her purse and been on probation for a year, but she insists on going to trial…for what? Nice legal strategy by her lawyer, J. Michael Flanagan (always, always make sure your attorney rocks an initial before their first name, very important), who claims that the pop singer was being targeted because she's a celebrity and doesn't deserve even a minor criminal conviction on her record. The issue isn't whether she was targeted, Joe; it’s whether she drove without a license or not. Her trial is set for Oct. 15 in Van Nuys after an appeals court rejected Spears' efforts to dismiss the misdemeanor charge and put the case put on hold. Not that Brit was even on hand for her own court appearance; Flanagan had said in court papers that Spears, a perpetual train wreck to be sure was “currently unable to participate meaningfully” in the traffic case. These charges stem from her fender-bender in August 2007, after which a hit-and-run charge was eventually dismissed after the singer compensated the other driver for damages. Since then, Brit has obtained a California license, but that probably isn't going to be enough here. Then again, this is Southern California, where famous people go free for most anything…..
Monday, October 06, 2008
Tonight's Prison Break, possibly the two most unfit parents of the year and another bit of evidence that the WNBA is irrelevant
- One Tree Hill is like the villain in a bad horror movie: no matter what you do, you just cannot kill it. While other, far superior shows on the same network (Everwood, Gilmore Girls, Veronica Mars) have been killed off by the idiots at the CW, OTH has persisted, survived and now it’s all but assured of seeing a seventh season. Series creator Mark Schawahn has signed a total of three production deals, one of which more or less guarantees a seventh season of OTH. Schawahn recently inked a one-year contract with Warner Bros. TV, which produces One Tree Hill, to keep wearing his executive producer and show big cheese hats. The other two deals Schwahn signed are a two-year pact with CBS Paramount Network TV and an agreement with CBS Records to launch his own imprint under the label. Not surprising on the music front when you consider that he did name his show after a U2 song and music has been an integral part of OTH throughout, including performances by Jimmy Eat World, Fall Out Boy, Michelle Branch and others. The CBS Par TV deal takes effect in June and it will have Schawahn developing new series, including one on the music industry. He describes the CBS Records contract is a dream come true, being a one-time band member and avid music junkie. “A frustrated musician who wasn't good but wanted to be great,” as he explains it. “I'm a fan of music, I feel I have a good ear for it and I would love to be able to help shine a light on new artists and new music even more than what I can do via One Tree Hill.” Ironically, One Tree Hill has been better of late and if it warranted a renewal at any point in its stint on air, this might be that time…..
- Some people just don't learn their lesson. Take Erin McLean, a teacher from Tennessee who disappeared after her then-husband killed her 18-year-old lover, as an example. Now most of us, if we experience something like that, we're steering clear of any future teen romances or affairs. Even if you make that mistake once, there's no way you make it a second time, right? Wrong, at least when it comes to McLean. She is reportedly now living in Texas with her sons and another teenage man, according to testimony at a custody hearing with last week to decide who gets the boys. Hard to argue that Erin McLean is the more fit parent when she was having an affair with Sean Powell when her then-husband shot him in the head in 2007. Good parents do not date a teenager they met while student teaching at the teen's high school. However, in this case, she's at least a better option than ex-husband Eric McLean, who was tried on a first-degree murder charge last month. He's not the best parent or liar, as evidenced by the fact that testified that he accidentally shot Powell while trying to get him to leave the couple's home. Sure, because who hasn't accidentally shot their wife's teenage lover while trying to get him to leave? In the end, jurors convicted him of reckless homicide. The McLeans divorced in February, and Eric McLean, who is not in prison, was granted visitation with the boys. His sentencing is set for next month, but he's not likely to serve time, for some odd reason. I guess shooting someone in the head doesn't mean you have to go to jail anymore. All told, I think we can all agree that the true losers in this case are the kids, ages 12 and 9, who might actually be better raising themselves than living with either of their parents....
- Ah, the pageantry and splendor of the WNBA title series. What? You didn’t know the WNBA was even in the midst of its season or that the league still existed? Okay, so neither did I, but as I found out, the irrelevant, subpar and pointless charity case that is the WNBA, which remains alive only because the NBA continues to subsidize it in some misguided attempt at philanthropy, had its championship decided over the weekend by…..by……I’m being told it was teams from Detroit and San Antonio. However, the deciding game of the series was played in neither city. No, it was played in the thriving metropolis of Ypsilanti, Michigan at the Eastern Michigan University Convocation Center. Why? Because a scheduling conflict had occurred wherein the Detroit Shock’s normal home venue, the Palace at Auburn Hills, was already booked. Nice. You know your sport is a total sham when you get booted from your own building for the deciding game of your championship series. Call me forgetful, but I don’t recall the Detroit Pistons being booted from the Palace during any of their championship runs, nor do I recall the Detroit Tigers ever having had a World Series game move because of a scheduling conflict at their normal venue. In other words, the WNBA doesn’t matter. If it did, it wouldn’t be playing its championship game at a gym half the size of the host team’s normal venue. Was the game on television? I don’t know, but I highly doubt it because I never saw a single commercial for the championship series on any network I watch. So keep on subsidizing this charity case, David Stern and NBA front office sycophants, just be aware that none of us are paying attention to it…..
- Tonight’s episode of Prison Break featured three distinct, exciting storylines. First, there was half of Michael Scofield’s convict crew taking off for Las Vegas in an attempt to copy the Scylla card of card holder Howard Scederi. Linc, Sarah, Sucre and Roland took the assignment and road tripped to Sin City, where they found Scederi gambling and tried to position Linc next to him at the table to copy the card with Roland’s wireless hard drive device. However, all of the electronic noise in the casino made the transfer fail, so it was on to Plan B. That meant sending in Sarah to flirt with him at the hotel pool and try to get invited up to his room under the pretense of taking a photograph for a bachelorette party scavenger hunt. She was turned down and after a comment from the bartender to Sarah about Scederi, it seemed like he turned he down because he was gay. That led to Sucre being recruited to do the flirting, a role he was desperate to avoid. In the end, he gave in and got himself invited back to Scederi’s hotel room, where he was able to copy the card but also received an unexpected proposition. It turns out Scederi wasn’t interested in Sucre for himself, but rather for his hot, young trophy wife. Because of a war injury, Scederi no longer has all his functioning man parts, so he recruited Sucre to give his wife the bedroom satisfaction she craves and to make $1,000 in the process. With the card copied, it’s time to bail and head back to L.A., but Roland can't resist the pull of the casino, where his wireless device can lead him to any machine that is about to pay out and thus allow him to make a fortune. Security spots him and recognizes him from previous incidents of cheating in Vegas, which leads to a guard nabbing the wireless device. Scederi’s card has already been copied and transferred, but with one card left to copy, not having the device could cripple the operation - especially since Roland says it takes months to build a new one. Back in L.A., agent Don Self is fighting his own war, panicking because of the visit he received in last week’s episode from company hit man Wyatt. Self turns to Alex Mahone for advice and Mahone tells him to attack the problem the same way Scofield battled Mahone, by going on the offensive and taking the fight to him. Putting that advice into play, Self cleans out his house, goes off the grid and shows up in the office of The General, Company head cheese Jonathan Krantz. He tells Krantz that he will investigate him and bring him down. Furthermore, Self claims to have mailed copies of evidence he holds against Krantz to five lawyers around the country so that, in the event of his death, that information will be released and a lot of eyes and scrutiny will be put on the General and the Company. Wyatt arrives at Self’s house too late to catch him after having come with the intention of killing Self and making it look like and accident. There was nothing accidental about the plan set in motion by T-Bag to turn the tables on Michael, Mahone and Brad Bellick as they tried to come after him. T-Bag, working with Gretchen (not by choice, but rather because she put a knife to his throat) coerced his secretary at GATE Industries to call Bellick at the number he gave her when he came by GATE looking for T-Bag. When Bellick showed up, T-Bag was waiting and captured him. He then baited Scofield and Mahone into the same trap and attempted to herd all of them into the back of a van at gunpoint. Mahone escaped, but Michael and Bellick were taken to T-Bag’s apartment (where he has been living as Cole Pfeiffer) and Michael is instructed to make sense of the clues T-Bag has found in the bird watching book formerly owned by the late James Whistler. Michael discovers that the pages, once properly cleaned off of their print, form a blueprint of the one floor of the GATE building. He asks to be taken there, leaving behind Bellick, the secretary and Gretchen, whom Michael didn’t know was at the apartment. She knew he wouldn’t help if she was involved, so she stayed out of sight. That hadn’t been the case earlier, when she kidnapped the GATE employee who had threatened to expose T-Bag’s fraudulent sales record last week and murdered him at the apartment, but she steered clear of Michael. At GATE, Michael went into the same storage closet T-Bag had searched last week and after some digging, found a metal door in the floor, under the carpeting. He and T-Bag went down into the hole, which led to a series of dark hallways and rooms. While there, Michael told T-Bag he was going to lock him in a room, call the cops and send T-Bag back to Fox River. Just that quick, Mahone came out of the darkness with a gun, having been led to GATE by a page from the bird watching book that Michael had left behind at the apartment as a clue. T-Bag ends up locked up in a boiler room, unable to escape. Back in the office where T-Bag had been posing as Cole Pfeiffer, Michael, Maone and Self go over the blueprint and begin to formulate a plan to break into the building where they can decode Scylla. However, as the exit the building, a cell phone taped in an envelope under a trash can rings and on the other end is Gretchen, who is watching from across the street. When Michael takes the phone from Self, Gretchen demands to see T-Bag immediately or else, putting the ball in Michael and Co.’s court. Like I said, three distinct storylines in this episode, all very interesting and all weaving another layer of difficulty and intrigue into this season, which has been very good so far. Until next week….well, two weeks, that is, since for some dumb reason PB is taking a one-week hiatus…….that’s all for now….
- Pre-fight press conferences in boxing are hilarious. The fake hostility, the posing, the smack talking, the nose-to-nose showdown as flashbulbs pop......it's hilarious. But kudos to Nigerian boxer Samuel Peter for taking things to a comical new extreme when he ripped the WBC belt from Vitali Klitschko's hands and stormed off the stage Monday at a news conference in Berlin to promote their heavyweight title fight. The two fighters -- both called champions by the WBC - had been locked in the typical, tired press conference staredown with both holding the belt when Peter seized it and stomped off the stage. Klitschko didn’t seem fazed, saying, “What happens here is a show. The real fight is in the ring.” Peter’s reason for acting like a petulant five-year-old? He was reportedly angry that the conference was conducted mostly in German -- which Klitschko, a Ukrainian, speaks fluently. Peter’s response - other than taking the belt and walking away, was responding to the few English questions posed to him in his native Nigerian tongue. There may also have been some lingering hostility because after a recent victory, Peter called for -- but didn't receive -- a rematch with Wladimir Klitschko, Vitali's younger brother and the holder of the IBF and WBO heavyweight belts. But hey, Peter is such a professional and so very mature, why not give him a title shot? My bet is that he ends up on the canvas, face up and staring at the ceiling after Klitschko knocks him out, rendering this whole shenanigan of seizing the belt a moot point……
- Some people just don't learn their lesson. Take Erin McLean, a teacher from Tennessee who disappeared after her then-husband killed her 18-year-old lover, as an example. Now most of us, if we experience something like that, we're steering clear of any future teen romances or affairs. Even if you make that mistake once, there's no way you make it a second time, right? Wrong, at least when it comes to McLean. She is reportedly now living in Texas with her sons and another teenage man, according to testimony at a custody hearing with last week to decide who gets the boys. Hard to argue that Erin McLean is the more fit parent when she was having an affair with Sean Powell when her then-husband shot him in the head in 2007. Good parents do not date a teenager they met while student teaching at the teen's high school. However, in this case, she's at least a better option than ex-husband Eric McLean, who was tried on a first-degree murder charge last month. He's not the best parent or liar, as evidenced by the fact that testified that he accidentally shot Powell while trying to get him to leave the couple's home. Sure, because who hasn't accidentally shot their wife's teenage lover while trying to get him to leave? In the end, jurors convicted him of reckless homicide. The McLeans divorced in February, and Eric McLean, who is not in prison, was granted visitation with the boys. His sentencing is set for next month, but he's not likely to serve time, for some odd reason. I guess shooting someone in the head doesn't mean you have to go to jail anymore. All told, I think we can all agree that the true losers in this case are the kids, ages 12 and 9, who might actually be better raising themselves than living with either of their parents....
- Ah, the pageantry and splendor of the WNBA title series. What? You didn’t know the WNBA was even in the midst of its season or that the league still existed? Okay, so neither did I, but as I found out, the irrelevant, subpar and pointless charity case that is the WNBA, which remains alive only because the NBA continues to subsidize it in some misguided attempt at philanthropy, had its championship decided over the weekend by…..by……I’m being told it was teams from Detroit and San Antonio. However, the deciding game of the series was played in neither city. No, it was played in the thriving metropolis of Ypsilanti, Michigan at the Eastern Michigan University Convocation Center. Why? Because a scheduling conflict had occurred wherein the Detroit Shock’s normal home venue, the Palace at Auburn Hills, was already booked. Nice. You know your sport is a total sham when you get booted from your own building for the deciding game of your championship series. Call me forgetful, but I don’t recall the Detroit Pistons being booted from the Palace during any of their championship runs, nor do I recall the Detroit Tigers ever having had a World Series game move because of a scheduling conflict at their normal venue. In other words, the WNBA doesn’t matter. If it did, it wouldn’t be playing its championship game at a gym half the size of the host team’s normal venue. Was the game on television? I don’t know, but I highly doubt it because I never saw a single commercial for the championship series on any network I watch. So keep on subsidizing this charity case, David Stern and NBA front office sycophants, just be aware that none of us are paying attention to it…..
- Tonight’s episode of Prison Break featured three distinct, exciting storylines. First, there was half of Michael Scofield’s convict crew taking off for Las Vegas in an attempt to copy the Scylla card of card holder Howard Scederi. Linc, Sarah, Sucre and Roland took the assignment and road tripped to Sin City, where they found Scederi gambling and tried to position Linc next to him at the table to copy the card with Roland’s wireless hard drive device. However, all of the electronic noise in the casino made the transfer fail, so it was on to Plan B. That meant sending in Sarah to flirt with him at the hotel pool and try to get invited up to his room under the pretense of taking a photograph for a bachelorette party scavenger hunt. She was turned down and after a comment from the bartender to Sarah about Scederi, it seemed like he turned he down because he was gay. That led to Sucre being recruited to do the flirting, a role he was desperate to avoid. In the end, he gave in and got himself invited back to Scederi’s hotel room, where he was able to copy the card but also received an unexpected proposition. It turns out Scederi wasn’t interested in Sucre for himself, but rather for his hot, young trophy wife. Because of a war injury, Scederi no longer has all his functioning man parts, so he recruited Sucre to give his wife the bedroom satisfaction she craves and to make $1,000 in the process. With the card copied, it’s time to bail and head back to L.A., but Roland can't resist the pull of the casino, where his wireless device can lead him to any machine that is about to pay out and thus allow him to make a fortune. Security spots him and recognizes him from previous incidents of cheating in Vegas, which leads to a guard nabbing the wireless device. Scederi’s card has already been copied and transferred, but with one card left to copy, not having the device could cripple the operation - especially since Roland says it takes months to build a new one. Back in L.A., agent Don Self is fighting his own war, panicking because of the visit he received in last week’s episode from company hit man Wyatt. Self turns to Alex Mahone for advice and Mahone tells him to attack the problem the same way Scofield battled Mahone, by going on the offensive and taking the fight to him. Putting that advice into play, Self cleans out his house, goes off the grid and shows up in the office of The General, Company head cheese Jonathan Krantz. He tells Krantz that he will investigate him and bring him down. Furthermore, Self claims to have mailed copies of evidence he holds against Krantz to five lawyers around the country so that, in the event of his death, that information will be released and a lot of eyes and scrutiny will be put on the General and the Company. Wyatt arrives at Self’s house too late to catch him after having come with the intention of killing Self and making it look like and accident. There was nothing accidental about the plan set in motion by T-Bag to turn the tables on Michael, Mahone and Brad Bellick as they tried to come after him. T-Bag, working with Gretchen (not by choice, but rather because she put a knife to his throat) coerced his secretary at GATE Industries to call Bellick at the number he gave her when he came by GATE looking for T-Bag. When Bellick showed up, T-Bag was waiting and captured him. He then baited Scofield and Mahone into the same trap and attempted to herd all of them into the back of a van at gunpoint. Mahone escaped, but Michael and Bellick were taken to T-Bag’s apartment (where he has been living as Cole Pfeiffer) and Michael is instructed to make sense of the clues T-Bag has found in the bird watching book formerly owned by the late James Whistler. Michael discovers that the pages, once properly cleaned off of their print, form a blueprint of the one floor of the GATE building. He asks to be taken there, leaving behind Bellick, the secretary and Gretchen, whom Michael didn’t know was at the apartment. She knew he wouldn’t help if she was involved, so she stayed out of sight. That hadn’t been the case earlier, when she kidnapped the GATE employee who had threatened to expose T-Bag’s fraudulent sales record last week and murdered him at the apartment, but she steered clear of Michael. At GATE, Michael went into the same storage closet T-Bag had searched last week and after some digging, found a metal door in the floor, under the carpeting. He and T-Bag went down into the hole, which led to a series of dark hallways and rooms. While there, Michael told T-Bag he was going to lock him in a room, call the cops and send T-Bag back to Fox River. Just that quick, Mahone came out of the darkness with a gun, having been led to GATE by a page from the bird watching book that Michael had left behind at the apartment as a clue. T-Bag ends up locked up in a boiler room, unable to escape. Back in the office where T-Bag had been posing as Cole Pfeiffer, Michael, Maone and Self go over the blueprint and begin to formulate a plan to break into the building where they can decode Scylla. However, as the exit the building, a cell phone taped in an envelope under a trash can rings and on the other end is Gretchen, who is watching from across the street. When Michael takes the phone from Self, Gretchen demands to see T-Bag immediately or else, putting the ball in Michael and Co.’s court. Like I said, three distinct storylines in this episode, all very interesting and all weaving another layer of difficulty and intrigue into this season, which has been very good so far. Until next week….well, two weeks, that is, since for some dumb reason PB is taking a one-week hiatus…….that’s all for now….
- Pre-fight press conferences in boxing are hilarious. The fake hostility, the posing, the smack talking, the nose-to-nose showdown as flashbulbs pop......it's hilarious. But kudos to Nigerian boxer Samuel Peter for taking things to a comical new extreme when he ripped the WBC belt from Vitali Klitschko's hands and stormed off the stage Monday at a news conference in Berlin to promote their heavyweight title fight. The two fighters -- both called champions by the WBC - had been locked in the typical, tired press conference staredown with both holding the belt when Peter seized it and stomped off the stage. Klitschko didn’t seem fazed, saying, “What happens here is a show. The real fight is in the ring.” Peter’s reason for acting like a petulant five-year-old? He was reportedly angry that the conference was conducted mostly in German -- which Klitschko, a Ukrainian, speaks fluently. Peter’s response - other than taking the belt and walking away, was responding to the few English questions posed to him in his native Nigerian tongue. There may also have been some lingering hostility because after a recent victory, Peter called for -- but didn't receive -- a rematch with Wladimir Klitschko, Vitali's younger brother and the holder of the IBF and WBO heavyweight belts. But hey, Peter is such a professional and so very mature, why not give him a title shot? My bet is that he ends up on the canvas, face up and staring at the ceiling after Klitschko knocks him out, rendering this whole shenanigan of seizing the belt a moot point……
Sunday, October 05, 2008
D-list celeb boxers, a sickening case of mass animal cruelty in Pa. and Entourage a go for Season 6
- Fans to HBO’s Entourage, today is a great day for you. Hug it out, b*tches, because although Season 5 just started, the network is already pushing ahead to Season 6 of the show. It was just announced that the Mark Wahlberg-produced hit has been renewed for a sixth season. “Entourage is that rare phenomenon in TV: a smart, sharp comedy series that continues to evolve,” Michael Lombardo, HBO president of programming group and west coast operations, says in a statement. “Doug Ellin and his remarkable team consistently deliver a show that's must-see viewing.” The show, a sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek take on Hollywood centering on Jeremy Piven and his crew, is fresh off a third consecutive supporting comedy actor win for Pive. The current season will chronicle Vince's (Adrian Grenier) desperate attempt to escape “movie jail.” It premiered Sept. 7, but less than a month later, fans have even more good news. Personally, I don’t have HBO and have never really been inclined to watch, but this is a show with a huge following and some pretty good actors in it, so it can’t be all bad…..
- This next bit of news is a little sad, if only because it somewhat denigrates the life of a deceased legend, one of the biggest, toughest badasses in American cultural history. Evel Knievel was one of the toughest, craziest SOB’s you could ever meet, a man who never denied his scrapes with the law and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind to anyone at any time. Even before his passing less than a year ago, it was known that he had been the subject of a 1970s FBI investigation of whether he was involved in a string of beatings. According to documents recently released by the Bureau, the federal government came close to charging Knievel, who in turn threatened to sue the FBI for alleging he was connected to a crime syndicate. “Knievel stated that he was not responsible for what just happened to (name redacted) and that he had no control over the 'thing”' according to one phone conversation recounted in an FBI interview. Look, I don’t know what Evel was guilty of, but I am sure he broke the law a few times during his life. His had a run-in with the law was a 1977 attack on movie studio executive Shelly Saltman, whom Knievel beat with a baseball bat in the parking lot of 20th Century Fox. That attack came after Saltman promoted Knievel's infamous attempt to jump Idaho's Snake River Canyon and then wrote a book about the experience that painted Knievel as "an alcoholic, a pill addict, an anti-Semite and an immoral person.” In the end, Knievel was sentenced to six months in jail and Saltman won a $12.75 million judgment that he never collected. There were other incidents as well; a threat in Phoenix, an attack in a Kansas City hotel room and a vicious beating in San Francisco. Even Bob Gill, a competitor of Knievel's during the 1970s and someone who had a showdown with Evel, seems to have the right perspective of letting things go that are past. After their battles, Knievel apologized and the two became friends. “I was really, really mad at Evel over the whole thing, but he apologized at least 10 times, and said it was out of his control and I believed him,” Gill said. Evel's never done any wrong besides that one little incident," Gill said. "And he's made up for it 1,000 times.” Agreed. True is true, and Evel Knievel should be left to rest in peace instead of having his legacy dragged through the mud at this point….
- What a sad, sad weekend for movies. “Beverly Hills Chihuahua the No. 1film for the weekend with a $29 million debut. I could basically stop there and have said everything I need to say, but where would the fun be in that? I simply cannot keep quiet when a terrible movie featuring a talking Chihuahua with Drew Barrymore's voice, and telling the story of a pampered pooch lost in Mexico. I know, it’s a family movie….but that doesn’t mean it gets a free pass simply because it’s kid-friendly. The rest of the top 10 shook down thusly: 2) "Eagle Eye," $17.7 million, 3) "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," $12 million, 4) "Nights in Rodanthe," $7.4 million, 5) "Appaloosa," $5 million, 6) "Lakeview Terrace," $4.5 million, 7) "Burn After Reading," $4.08 million, 8) "Fireproof," $4.07 million, 9) "An American Carol," $3.8 million,
10) "Religulous," $3.5 million. Nice showing, by the way, by Bill Maher, basically making an entire movie attacking religion, raking in a whopping $3.5 million. Way to knock one out of the ballpark, B. Overall, the top 12 movies hauled in $95.4 million, up 42 percent from the same weekend a year ago, when the “The Game Plan,” starring The Rock, a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson, was No. 1 with $16.6 million. Impressive on the weekend was Sony's "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," starring Michael Cera and Kat Dennings, with a solid No. 3 debut of $12 million. It’s definitely a hundred times better than the weekend’s top movie and probably a slight improvement over the No. 2 movie. All told, a typical mix of good and bad in the top 10, but a nice earnings weekend nonetheless at the box office….
- Aside from violent or sexual crimes against humans, the most stomach-churning crime I can think of is cruelty to animals. There never has been and never will be any excuse for mistreating animals who are mostly or entirely dependent on you for survival. As such, I was pissed to hear about a situation in Emmaus, Pennsylvania, where officials found hundreds of animals crowded into a filthy, rank-smelling compound and dozens of puppy carcasses stored in a freezer on the premises. It was a revolting, disheartening scene, one that led to the kennel's owner losing his license to operate and being charged with animal cruelty. Thankfully, authorities were able to take custody of dozens of ailing dogs and cats and see that they received proper medical care after the raid at the Almost Heaven Kennel in Upper Milford Township. Never has a business name been less aprropriate than in this case, as this kennel was definitely no heaven and more hellacious than anything else. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to find a freezer containing 65 carcasses, mostly puppies and some adult dogs. Add to that 800 to 1,000 live animals, including monkeys, miniature horses and turkeys, living in filth and without access to fresh water, and you have a truly disgusting mess. . The raid came after resident complaints and an undercover investigation, leading to the citataion and hopefully vigilant prosecution of confirmed ass hat Derbe "Skip" Eckhart , owner of this hell hole. He stands accused of keeping animals in unsanitary conditions and failing to provide proper veterinary care for 43 dogs, nine cats and a guinea pig. These poor animals suffered from skin and eye ailments, upper respiratory diseases and lameness. Eckhart faces a maximum fine of $750 for each count, not nearly enough to punish this knob. He has the audacity to dispute the allegations. “What they tried to do yesterday was paint a picture that wasn't there,” Eckhart said Thursday. Are you freaking serious? Dude, do not sit there and try to tell me that the authorities made up those dozens of dog carcasses in your freezer; those are hard to fake. No one is setting you up, but if you keep this up, I’ll set you up on the nearest curb, plant you face-down and mouth open on the concrete and curb your sorry ass with a knee to the back of the head. Let’s hear from one of your neighbors, Phil Miller, and see if he agrees with me. “In the summertime, in August, you can't even open a window without being overcome with stench,” Miller said. Hmm, seems he’s on board with me, Skip. So shut your hole, make amends for your crimes and hope I never run into you on a dark street at night…..
- What is it with idiot, D-list celebrities offering money to get in the boxing ring with them? First, it was confirmed ‘roid-head Jose Canseco, offering $5,000 to get into the ring with him and go a few rounds. Former NFL player Via Sicahema took Canseco up on that offered and dropped Jose within one round. Now, Michael Lohan says he is ready to fight anyone who wants to take him on. He is auctioning off the chance to knock him out in a charity boxing match Nov. 24 at the Hilton Long Island in Melville, N.Y. and is clearly banking on the fact that there are a lot of people who would take joy in punching him in the face repeatedly. Bidding begins at $5,000 and proceeds will go to charities including the Long Island Community Chest, which provides financial support to needy families. That’s all well and good, but unless this bout comes with the guarantee that Michael Lohan will also be shutting up on a permanent basis when it comes to making public comments about his ex-wife (who he recently called a “two-face”), his daughter (whom he dubbed “out of control”) and her lesbian gal pal Samantha Ronson (for “using my daughter”), I’m not interested. You are no one, M. Lohan, and no one cares what you think. Having fathered a famous kid doesn’t make you worth anyone’s time, nor does trying to gravy train your own 15 minutes from her success…….
- This next bit of news is a little sad, if only because it somewhat denigrates the life of a deceased legend, one of the biggest, toughest badasses in American cultural history. Evel Knievel was one of the toughest, craziest SOB’s you could ever meet, a man who never denied his scrapes with the law and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind to anyone at any time. Even before his passing less than a year ago, it was known that he had been the subject of a 1970s FBI investigation of whether he was involved in a string of beatings. According to documents recently released by the Bureau, the federal government came close to charging Knievel, who in turn threatened to sue the FBI for alleging he was connected to a crime syndicate. “Knievel stated that he was not responsible for what just happened to (name redacted) and that he had no control over the 'thing”' according to one phone conversation recounted in an FBI interview. Look, I don’t know what Evel was guilty of, but I am sure he broke the law a few times during his life. His had a run-in with the law was a 1977 attack on movie studio executive Shelly Saltman, whom Knievel beat with a baseball bat in the parking lot of 20th Century Fox. That attack came after Saltman promoted Knievel's infamous attempt to jump Idaho's Snake River Canyon and then wrote a book about the experience that painted Knievel as "an alcoholic, a pill addict, an anti-Semite and an immoral person.” In the end, Knievel was sentenced to six months in jail and Saltman won a $12.75 million judgment that he never collected. There were other incidents as well; a threat in Phoenix, an attack in a Kansas City hotel room and a vicious beating in San Francisco. Even Bob Gill, a competitor of Knievel's during the 1970s and someone who had a showdown with Evel, seems to have the right perspective of letting things go that are past. After their battles, Knievel apologized and the two became friends. “I was really, really mad at Evel over the whole thing, but he apologized at least 10 times, and said it was out of his control and I believed him,” Gill said. Evel's never done any wrong besides that one little incident," Gill said. "And he's made up for it 1,000 times.” Agreed. True is true, and Evel Knievel should be left to rest in peace instead of having his legacy dragged through the mud at this point….
- What a sad, sad weekend for movies. “Beverly Hills Chihuahua the No. 1film for the weekend with a $29 million debut. I could basically stop there and have said everything I need to say, but where would the fun be in that? I simply cannot keep quiet when a terrible movie featuring a talking Chihuahua with Drew Barrymore's voice, and telling the story of a pampered pooch lost in Mexico. I know, it’s a family movie….but that doesn’t mean it gets a free pass simply because it’s kid-friendly. The rest of the top 10 shook down thusly: 2) "Eagle Eye," $17.7 million, 3) "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," $12 million, 4) "Nights in Rodanthe," $7.4 million, 5) "Appaloosa," $5 million, 6) "Lakeview Terrace," $4.5 million, 7) "Burn After Reading," $4.08 million, 8) "Fireproof," $4.07 million, 9) "An American Carol," $3.8 million,
10) "Religulous," $3.5 million. Nice showing, by the way, by Bill Maher, basically making an entire movie attacking religion, raking in a whopping $3.5 million. Way to knock one out of the ballpark, B. Overall, the top 12 movies hauled in $95.4 million, up 42 percent from the same weekend a year ago, when the “The Game Plan,” starring The Rock, a.k.a. Dwayne Johnson, was No. 1 with $16.6 million. Impressive on the weekend was Sony's "Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist," starring Michael Cera and Kat Dennings, with a solid No. 3 debut of $12 million. It’s definitely a hundred times better than the weekend’s top movie and probably a slight improvement over the No. 2 movie. All told, a typical mix of good and bad in the top 10, but a nice earnings weekend nonetheless at the box office….
- Aside from violent or sexual crimes against humans, the most stomach-churning crime I can think of is cruelty to animals. There never has been and never will be any excuse for mistreating animals who are mostly or entirely dependent on you for survival. As such, I was pissed to hear about a situation in Emmaus, Pennsylvania, where officials found hundreds of animals crowded into a filthy, rank-smelling compound and dozens of puppy carcasses stored in a freezer on the premises. It was a revolting, disheartening scene, one that led to the kennel's owner losing his license to operate and being charged with animal cruelty. Thankfully, authorities were able to take custody of dozens of ailing dogs and cats and see that they received proper medical care after the raid at the Almost Heaven Kennel in Upper Milford Township. Never has a business name been less aprropriate than in this case, as this kennel was definitely no heaven and more hellacious than anything else. I can’t even imagine what it would have been like to find a freezer containing 65 carcasses, mostly puppies and some adult dogs. Add to that 800 to 1,000 live animals, including monkeys, miniature horses and turkeys, living in filth and without access to fresh water, and you have a truly disgusting mess. . The raid came after resident complaints and an undercover investigation, leading to the citataion and hopefully vigilant prosecution of confirmed ass hat Derbe "Skip" Eckhart , owner of this hell hole. He stands accused of keeping animals in unsanitary conditions and failing to provide proper veterinary care for 43 dogs, nine cats and a guinea pig. These poor animals suffered from skin and eye ailments, upper respiratory diseases and lameness. Eckhart faces a maximum fine of $750 for each count, not nearly enough to punish this knob. He has the audacity to dispute the allegations. “What they tried to do yesterday was paint a picture that wasn't there,” Eckhart said Thursday. Are you freaking serious? Dude, do not sit there and try to tell me that the authorities made up those dozens of dog carcasses in your freezer; those are hard to fake. No one is setting you up, but if you keep this up, I’ll set you up on the nearest curb, plant you face-down and mouth open on the concrete and curb your sorry ass with a knee to the back of the head. Let’s hear from one of your neighbors, Phil Miller, and see if he agrees with me. “In the summertime, in August, you can't even open a window without being overcome with stench,” Miller said. Hmm, seems he’s on board with me, Skip. So shut your hole, make amends for your crimes and hope I never run into you on a dark street at night…..
- What is it with idiot, D-list celebrities offering money to get in the boxing ring with them? First, it was confirmed ‘roid-head Jose Canseco, offering $5,000 to get into the ring with him and go a few rounds. Former NFL player Via Sicahema took Canseco up on that offered and dropped Jose within one round. Now, Michael Lohan says he is ready to fight anyone who wants to take him on. He is auctioning off the chance to knock him out in a charity boxing match Nov. 24 at the Hilton Long Island in Melville, N.Y. and is clearly banking on the fact that there are a lot of people who would take joy in punching him in the face repeatedly. Bidding begins at $5,000 and proceeds will go to charities including the Long Island Community Chest, which provides financial support to needy families. That’s all well and good, but unless this bout comes with the guarantee that Michael Lohan will also be shutting up on a permanent basis when it comes to making public comments about his ex-wife (who he recently called a “two-face”), his daughter (whom he dubbed “out of control”) and her lesbian gal pal Samantha Ronson (for “using my daughter”), I’m not interested. You are no one, M. Lohan, and no one cares what you think. Having fathered a famous kid doesn’t make you worth anyone’s time, nor does trying to gravy train your own 15 minutes from her success…….
Saturday, October 04, 2008
A fake athlete faces real federal charges, college football's ho-hum weekend and the world's fattest man to marry
- The pirates of Somalia are under attack and dammit, they’re fighting back! Arrrrgghhh! Shiver me timbers, these guys are showing some truly pirate-y spirit even as the U.S. Navy and others are feverishly working to shut them down. Want evidence? Look no further than the area around Mogadishu, where there have been four failed pirate attacks in the last 24 hours. The attacks have taken place off the lawless Somali coast despite the presence of six American warships which are on the scene, guarding a hijacked ship full of weapons. Three attacks by pirates have reportedly been repelled, leading to high-speed escapes by the attacking pirates. Another attack was short-circuited because the pirates brought a ladder to climb on to the ship that was too short. Say what you will about pirates, but they have always been bad with the details, the little things. Of the four attacks, three were in the heavily patrolled corridor within the Gulf of Aden, while the exact location of the fourth was not immediately available. All of this comes after an incident last week in which a Ukrainian ship loaded with 33 Soviet-designed tanks and weapons was seized by pirates. It has spurred eight European countries to offer help in forming an anti-piracy force. You go ahead and do that, Euros, because I think we all know who will prevail: the pirates. They’re hearty, they love rum and wenches and they’ve been plying their trade for centuries. Ye may try to stamp them out, mateys, but I says ye cannot….
- So there goes Kimbo Slice’s career as a legit MMA draw. Already under fire from MMA purists who have maintained that he is nothing more than a glorified hack, a circus sideshow who has built a cult following knocking out fools and suckers while sporting a set of subpar in-ring skills. Heading into tonight’s bout on CBS with MMA legend Ken Shamrock, Slice appeared on the verge of beating on an over-the-hill, has-been fighter who would only give his doubters more evidence to use against him in claiming that he hasn’t fought anyone of note. Leading up to the fight, there was a lot of bad blood between Slice and Shamrock, including at their weigh-in at AtlanticBank Center in Sunrise, Fla., although pre-fight tensions are notoriously fake and phony. However, all of that bluster and bravado went for naught after Shamrock suffered a cut over his left eye during a practice session Friday afternoon. Because of the cut, the Florida State Athletic Commission determined that Shamrock was unfit to fight. “It appears that he was warming up as he stated, rolling over and received a head butt, which resulted in a laceration over his eye,” said Dr. Allan Fields of the Florida State Athletic Commission. “He received six sutures in the eyebrow. He explained that he wanted to fight; however for his safety, we have rules. Anyone with a recent laceration cannot go participate in a fight.”
So what happened? Pink-haired, marginal MMAer Seth Petruzelli, scheduled to face Aaron Rosa in an untelevised undercard bout, stepped in and dropped Kimbo with an average right hand to the head 14 seconds into the bout. One punch, 14 seconds, goodbye career. Kimbo has ridden this gravy train all the way from blowing up idiots he paid $100 to take a hit on camera to one of MMA’s biggest draws and made a lot of money in the process, but he’s now on his way down, in swift fashion. He’s been exposed as the fraud so many MMA fans and observers said he was, at the worst possible time for EliteXC, the company he fights for, and CBS, which bet a lot on him and EliteXC to bring MMA to its airwaves and win over fans…..
- Even the world’s fattest man can find love. Mexican Manuel Uribe of Monterrey, recognized as the world's fattest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records, announced the he will wed this month after losing nearly half his original weight. I’ve written about Uribe before and watched two one-hour specials on him on the TLC network, and you definitely had to feel for the big fella as he tried to shed the pounds through the Atkins diet and debated gastric bypass surgery. “It will be a hefty wedding, on a large scale, but with a low-calorie banquet,” the 43-year-old Uribe said. Uribe, who still lives in his bed because of his excessive girth, in February said he had dropped 570 pounds from his highest weight of 1,300 pounds). He plans to marry a widow named Claudia, a local hairdresser who he met when she came to his apartment as one of his caretakers, to whom he has been engaged for two years. They will exchange vows on October 26 at home in Monterrey. Uribe, who has created his own foundation to encourage and assist other fat people worldwide, expanded his wedding plans after offers of sponsorship came from international magazines, television stations and local mayors who offered all kinds of perks, including a cake for 400 guests. To liven up the festivities, Uribe has also asked a Mexican band called “Pesado,” or “Heavy,” to provide the music. On one hand, it’s great to see Uribe find love and get back another piece of his life, but it’s also discouraging for anyone out there who isn't married because if a bed-ridden, 700-pound man can find love, what’s the excuse for the rest of us?......
- It was an uneventful college football Saturday, with nearly all of the top teams in the nation either on a bye week or winning without too much drama. Top-ranked Oklahoma prepared for next Saturday’s Red River Shootout against archrival Texas by traveling to Waco and throttling poor Baylor 49-17. Second-ranked Alabama won 17-14 over a game Kentucky squad, but the final score is deceiving because Kentucky scored a touchdown with 40 seconds left to make it seem closer. The nation’s No. 3 team, LSU, was off on a bye week and the only top 10 team to lose did so on Thursday night, with South Florida falling to a very mediocre Pittsburgh team by a 26-21 count. The best game of the weekend was Vanderbilt, a school renowned for its academics but not usually for its football team, coming back from a 13-0 first-quarter deficit to stun 13th-ranked Auburn 14-13. The win should vault the Commodores up from their #19 ranking and put them near the top 10 for a truly amazing feat. It continues a trend of smart schools coming up with big wins, a trend Duke and Northwestern did much to facilitate last weekend. Another exciting contest came courtesy of the Mid-American Conference, where bitter rivals Akron and Kent State squared off in the annual Wagon Wheel game. Akron won thanks in large part to a circus catch on a fourth and 11 from the Kent 24 near the end of regulation when receiver Deryn Bowser made a circus catch in the end zone, reaching around a defender who was busy committing an uncalled pass interference penalty to snag the go-ahead score, a TD awarded only after Akron demanded a replay review to overturn a bad call of no catch by the officials. In the end, the Zips won 30-27 in double overtime when Kent kicked Nate Reed shanked his second makeable field goal of the day. An interesting subplot coming out of this weekend is that you’re going to have two conferences with eight of the top 10 or 11 teams in the polls, the SEC (LSU, Alabama, Florida and Georgia) and Big 12 (Oklahoma, Missouri, Texas and Texas Tech). It won't last because sooner rather than later, these schools will get into the meat of their conference schedule and begin knocking each other off, but interesting to see while it lasts…..
- See what happens to losers who go on dancing with the stars? They end up facing federal indictments and prison time, that’s what. Okay, so maybe being on some lame reality dancing show isn't the reason Helio Castroneves was in a Miami, Fla. courtroom Friday, but it should be. With tears in his eyes, the well-known race car driver and Dancing with the (D-List) Stars contestant not guilty Friday to a seven-count tax evasion indictment. Quite a sight to see Castroneves appear in court in handcuffs and leg chains and ordered released on $10 million bail. Imagine how much more bizarre it would have been were he an athlete who played a real sport…..but I digress. “I am not guilty,” the Brazilian-born Castroneves said. “I know right from wrong and I did nothing wrong.” That’s for the judge and jury to decide, H. For now, Castroneves, his sister, Katiucia Castroneves, and his attorney, Alan R. Miller, are accused of conspiring to conceal $5.5 million in offshore accounts between 1999 and 2004. That doesn’t seem like an issue where there can be a big grey area; either you have the money and put it in the accounts or not, but we’ll see. If convicted, Helio Castroneves and his co-defendants face a maximum five-year prison sentence on each charge. Again, I come back to the knowledge that there are a lot of crimes you can commit and get away with in this country, but buddy, if you try to cheat on your taxes and screw over the IRS, you will go down. The feds also don’t tend to indict unless they are very, very sure they have a very, very strong case, so things aren't looking good for Castroneves and Co. Well, that’s not entirely fair; his attorney did call the government's case "weak, thin and it's not worth the paper it's printed on.” Added the attorney, Mike Tein, “If the case did not involve a celebrity, there would be no case.” Well never mind, then, let’s dismiss the case, since a defendant’s attorney says it’s bogus. Either that or we can buckle in and hear about the government’s allegations that income Helio Castroneves received from Coimex Internacional and Penske Racing was placed in an offshore Panamanian shell corporation, and that he then lied about his income on his tax returns. The defense is trying to make this out to be some sort of pension plan, which I don’t buy. Well, it may be a pension plan, just one made a lot more profitable by funneling money into offshore accounts designed to get around paying tax on the money…….
- So there goes Kimbo Slice’s career as a legit MMA draw. Already under fire from MMA purists who have maintained that he is nothing more than a glorified hack, a circus sideshow who has built a cult following knocking out fools and suckers while sporting a set of subpar in-ring skills. Heading into tonight’s bout on CBS with MMA legend Ken Shamrock, Slice appeared on the verge of beating on an over-the-hill, has-been fighter who would only give his doubters more evidence to use against him in claiming that he hasn’t fought anyone of note. Leading up to the fight, there was a lot of bad blood between Slice and Shamrock, including at their weigh-in at AtlanticBank Center in Sunrise, Fla., although pre-fight tensions are notoriously fake and phony. However, all of that bluster and bravado went for naught after Shamrock suffered a cut over his left eye during a practice session Friday afternoon. Because of the cut, the Florida State Athletic Commission determined that Shamrock was unfit to fight. “It appears that he was warming up as he stated, rolling over and received a head butt, which resulted in a laceration over his eye,” said Dr. Allan Fields of the Florida State Athletic Commission. “He received six sutures in the eyebrow. He explained that he wanted to fight; however for his safety, we have rules. Anyone with a recent laceration cannot go participate in a fight.”
So what happened? Pink-haired, marginal MMAer Seth Petruzelli, scheduled to face Aaron Rosa in an untelevised undercard bout, stepped in and dropped Kimbo with an average right hand to the head 14 seconds into the bout. One punch, 14 seconds, goodbye career. Kimbo has ridden this gravy train all the way from blowing up idiots he paid $100 to take a hit on camera to one of MMA’s biggest draws and made a lot of money in the process, but he’s now on his way down, in swift fashion. He’s been exposed as the fraud so many MMA fans and observers said he was, at the worst possible time for EliteXC, the company he fights for, and CBS, which bet a lot on him and EliteXC to bring MMA to its airwaves and win over fans…..
- Even the world’s fattest man can find love. Mexican Manuel Uribe of Monterrey, recognized as the world's fattest man in the 2007 Guinness Book of Records, announced the he will wed this month after losing nearly half his original weight. I’ve written about Uribe before and watched two one-hour specials on him on the TLC network, and you definitely had to feel for the big fella as he tried to shed the pounds through the Atkins diet and debated gastric bypass surgery. “It will be a hefty wedding, on a large scale, but with a low-calorie banquet,” the 43-year-old Uribe said. Uribe, who still lives in his bed because of his excessive girth, in February said he had dropped 570 pounds from his highest weight of 1,300 pounds). He plans to marry a widow named Claudia, a local hairdresser who he met when she came to his apartment as one of his caretakers, to whom he has been engaged for two years. They will exchange vows on October 26 at home in Monterrey. Uribe, who has created his own foundation to encourage and assist other fat people worldwide, expanded his wedding plans after offers of sponsorship came from international magazines, television stations and local mayors who offered all kinds of perks, including a cake for 400 guests. To liven up the festivities, Uribe has also asked a Mexican band called “Pesado,” or “Heavy,” to provide the music. On one hand, it’s great to see Uribe find love and get back another piece of his life, but it’s also discouraging for anyone out there who isn't married because if a bed-ridden, 700-pound man can find love, what’s the excuse for the rest of us?......
- It was an uneventful college football Saturday, with nearly all of the top teams in the nation either on a bye week or winning without too much drama. Top-ranked Oklahoma prepared for next Saturday’s Red River Shootout against archrival Texas by traveling to Waco and throttling poor Baylor 49-17. Second-ranked Alabama won 17-14 over a game Kentucky squad, but the final score is deceiving because Kentucky scored a touchdown with 40 seconds left to make it seem closer. The nation’s No. 3 team, LSU, was off on a bye week and the only top 10 team to lose did so on Thursday night, with South Florida falling to a very mediocre Pittsburgh team by a 26-21 count. The best game of the weekend was Vanderbilt, a school renowned for its academics but not usually for its football team, coming back from a 13-0 first-quarter deficit to stun 13th-ranked Auburn 14-13. The win should vault the Commodores up from their #19 ranking and put them near the top 10 for a truly amazing feat. It continues a trend of smart schools coming up with big wins, a trend Duke and Northwestern did much to facilitate last weekend. Another exciting contest came courtesy of the Mid-American Conference, where bitter rivals Akron and Kent State squared off in the annual Wagon Wheel game. Akron won thanks in large part to a circus catch on a fourth and 11 from the Kent 24 near the end of regulation when receiver Deryn Bowser made a circus catch in the end zone, reaching around a defender who was busy committing an uncalled pass interference penalty to snag the go-ahead score, a TD awarded only after Akron demanded a replay review to overturn a bad call of no catch by the officials. In the end, the Zips won 30-27 in double overtime when Kent kicked Nate Reed shanked his second makeable field goal of the day. An interesting subplot coming out of this weekend is that you’re going to have two conferences with eight of the top 10 or 11 teams in the polls, the SEC (LSU, Alabama, Florida and Georgia) and Big 12 (Oklahoma, Missouri, Texas and Texas Tech). It won't last because sooner rather than later, these schools will get into the meat of their conference schedule and begin knocking each other off, but interesting to see while it lasts…..
- See what happens to losers who go on dancing with the stars? They end up facing federal indictments and prison time, that’s what. Okay, so maybe being on some lame reality dancing show isn't the reason Helio Castroneves was in a Miami, Fla. courtroom Friday, but it should be. With tears in his eyes, the well-known race car driver and Dancing with the (D-List) Stars contestant not guilty Friday to a seven-count tax evasion indictment. Quite a sight to see Castroneves appear in court in handcuffs and leg chains and ordered released on $10 million bail. Imagine how much more bizarre it would have been were he an athlete who played a real sport…..but I digress. “I am not guilty,” the Brazilian-born Castroneves said. “I know right from wrong and I did nothing wrong.” That’s for the judge and jury to decide, H. For now, Castroneves, his sister, Katiucia Castroneves, and his attorney, Alan R. Miller, are accused of conspiring to conceal $5.5 million in offshore accounts between 1999 and 2004. That doesn’t seem like an issue where there can be a big grey area; either you have the money and put it in the accounts or not, but we’ll see. If convicted, Helio Castroneves and his co-defendants face a maximum five-year prison sentence on each charge. Again, I come back to the knowledge that there are a lot of crimes you can commit and get away with in this country, but buddy, if you try to cheat on your taxes and screw over the IRS, you will go down. The feds also don’t tend to indict unless they are very, very sure they have a very, very strong case, so things aren't looking good for Castroneves and Co. Well, that’s not entirely fair; his attorney did call the government's case "weak, thin and it's not worth the paper it's printed on.” Added the attorney, Mike Tein, “If the case did not involve a celebrity, there would be no case.” Well never mind, then, let’s dismiss the case, since a defendant’s attorney says it’s bogus. Either that or we can buckle in and hear about the government’s allegations that income Helio Castroneves received from Coimex Internacional and Penske Racing was placed in an offshore Panamanian shell corporation, and that he then lied about his income on his tax returns. The defense is trying to make this out to be some sort of pension plan, which I don’t buy. Well, it may be a pension plan, just one made a lot more profitable by funneling money into offshore accounts designed to get around paying tax on the money…….
Friday, October 03, 2008
The world as we know it is over, another Hollywood strike in the works and "Nick and Norah" not a bad watch
- Although I worry that Michael Cera might be getting himself stuck in the trap of making and remaking the same movie over and over (in this case, Juno/Superbad in a cycle of movie recycling) and his new flick, the boy-meets-girl-in-the-city-that-never-sleeps romantic comedy “Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist” is a movie in that same general vein, it’s still a fun watch. The movie basically follows high school seniors Nick (Michael Cera) and Norah (Kat Dennings) as they drive around in a Yugo the pumpkin color of Cinderella's coach after midnight in New York. Predictably, the two come from different backgrounds -- he's a son of suburban New Jersey, the one straight dude in a queercore rock band and she's a wealthy, city-dwelling daughter of a record-industry executive. Initially, they can't stand each other, but find they have a rabid love of indie rock, hole-in-the-wall Lower East Side clubs, a skill for clever banter and a luminous fun-loving outlook on life. They meet in a club at a time when Nick is nursing a bruised heart following a breakup with a shallow, vapid chick named Tris (Alexis Dziena). Nora has love troubles of her own in the form of a mooching, wannabe-musician boyfriend (Jay Baruchel). Norah and Tris are private school classmates and longtime frenemies, but the movie doesn’t dwell on that aspect. Instead, we find Norah as she is accompanying her hard-partying best friend, Caroline (Ari Graynor), in pursuit of an elusive underground band rumored to be playing somewhere in the city. Nick’s gay bandmates recognize that Norah would be a good match for their buddy and start working to set the two of them up. The plot unfolds from there; I won't spoil it for you, other than to say it’s funny and for the most part, manages to be just imaginative and stay away from enough clichés to be a good movie…..
- Bands dorks, know your place. You are to march in straight lines, blow into your various metal instruments or bang on your assigned drums, wear butt-ugly uniforms and serve at the target for our jokes. You are not, under any circumstances, to draw attention to yourself in a way that necessitates the rest of us spending any -ANY - time on you and your antics. So this lesson goes out to the University of Wisconsin marching band, which has been suspended indefinitely while allegations of alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct are investigated. The band has been banned from performing at Saturday’s football game between the No. 18 Badgers and No. 14 Ohio State at Camp Randall Stadium. The university made the announcement at a news conference today, saying the behavior is similar to the actions that put the band on probation in 2006. At that time, the allegations against the idiots in the UW band included having seminude band members alleged to dance suggestively in front of other band members and forcing female band members to kiss other women to be allowed to enter bathrooms on a bus. The message must not have gotten through, because the same sort of actions are at the heart of this new mess. The problem is serious enough that band director Mike Leckrone, in that capacity since 1969, made the decision to suspend the band for a game for the first time in his tenure.
No specific details were immediately released about the behavior, but it has been confirmed that it involved inappropriate alcohol use, hazing and sexualized behavior. This wouldn’t be happening if these bands dorks knew their place. Quit trying to act like badasses and like a sports team and starting acting like the band dorks you are. In case you forgot, it was actions like these that led the university to establish a written code of conduct for the band in 2000. Then, in February 2007, the marching band's assistant director Michael Lorenz resigned after an internal report criticized his treatment of a female colleague during a rowdy band trip to Michigan in 2006. After that debacle, then-Chancellor John Wiley threatened band members with losing performance and travel privileges. Now, it appears that the tradition of lewd, lascivious and just plain classless behavior has survived within the Wisconsin band and that much more serious punishment is needed…….
- Whaddya know, more trouble in Iraq caused by the knobs at Blackwater, shocker! After starting unprovoked firefights and killing civilians like they were going out of style, now we learn that back in 2006,
an M4 machine gun sent to Iraq by the Blackwater private security firm somehow disappeared from the company's storage facility in Baghdad and was later discovered during a US military operation. The operation in question apparently took place against suspected insurgents and has kept secret until now. It adds fuel to the fire caused by allegations that Blackwater shipped weapons and silencers to Iraq without proper licensing, allegations that are already under investigation by a federal grand jury in North Carolina. As you’d expect, the liars at Blackwater maintain that all of their weapons “are shipped in accordance with U.S. export control regulations.” I would believe that…..except I don’t. But how could I, what with these allegations and the fact that right now, at this moment, a second federal grand jury in Washington, D.C. is investigating a shooting incident involving Blackwater guards that led to the deaths of 17 civilians. Indictments in that case could come as early as next week, so things are clearly not looking up for Blackwater. Just another great fringe benefit coming from the Mess O’Potamia, W.’s own personal Vietnam, the war/debacle in Iraq……
- I literally don’t know what to say. Right now, up is down, black is white, water is dry, heat is cold and nothing makes sense. The world as we know it has ceased to exist. The one true thing, the one fact we could all rest assured of no matter what else happened, was that the Juice was Teflon in a courtroom, an untouchable figure whose deal with the devil basically allowed him carte blanche to do whatever he wanted here on Earth and to do so free of criminal prosecution. But somehow, some way, that ended today when O.J. Simpson was found guilty in a Las Vegas courtroom of robbing two sports-memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a Vegas hotel room. The 61-year-old former football star could now spend the rest of his life in prison, which would be a sobering thought if not for the fact that he should already be 13+ years into that life sentence after (allegedly) murdering his ex-wife and her boyfriend in 2004. He should be 13+ years into that sentence, but the aforementioned deal with the devil saved him and I figured it would save him here. Now….I don’t know what to believe in anymore. Sentencing has been set for Dec. 5, so there is still time for a miracle of some sort to make the world right again, but I have a sinking feeling that one might not be coming. If you are keeping score at home, the Juice was convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery and 10 other charges, all stemming from his asinine plan hatched last year that involved O.J. recruiting five men and storming into a room at a hotel-casino to retrieve what the Juice claims was sports memorabilia belonging to him. In an ironic twist, this verdict came 13 years to the day after Simpson was cleared turning his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman, into human Pez dispensers. Nice of defense attorney Yale Galanter try to play the payback card, implying that the jury was looking to even the score with the Juice for skating on his double murder. “I don't like to use the word payback,” defense attorney Yale Galanter said. “I can tell you from the beginning my biggest concern ... was whether or not the jury would be able to separate their very strong feelings about Mr. Simpson and judge him fairly and honestly.” No, Yale, I think they did judge him fairly and honestly, I just can’t believe that they did……
- I’m starting to become immune to Hollywood strike talks. Whether it’s actors, writers, producers, or even in the theater industry, I’ve just built up such a tolerance to any guild or union in the entertainment industry threatening a work stoppage because there is always at least one of them doing so at any given time. This time around, it’s the Screen Actors Guild, whose negotiating committee voted Wednesday to support a strike authorization vote. It’s a tactic meant to break stalled contract talks with Hollywood studios and the recommendation, approved 11-2, moves on to the guild's national board for review. In order to be put into motion, the plan would ultimately need approval of 75 percent of the some 120,000 voting guild members. “My personal opinion is, yes, we will achieve a strike authorization,” said Anne Marie Johnson, a spokeswoman for Membership First, a faction of actors that had controlled SAG's national board until it narrowly lost its majority in elections last month. Right now, contract talks dealing with prime-time TV shows and movies have been at a standstill since the previous contract expired June 30 and actors have been working under the terms of the old deal in hopes of avoiding a repeat of a 100-day writers strike that ended in February. That strike pissed off a lot of people, wasted a lot of time and cost a lot of money, what with shutting down production of dozens of TV shows and stalling many movie projects. Its estimated cost to the Los Angeles area economy was an estimated $2.5 billion. The studios, represented by the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, are trying to use the current downward-spiraling state of the economy as a reason for actors not to strike. “It is unrealistic for SAG negotiators now to expect even better terms during this grim financial climate,” the AMPTP said in a statement. Even as they began the process of striking, the actors’ guild also called for talks with the AMPTP to resume, although I’m not sure how genuine that offer is at this point. That’s doubly true when you consider that the producers' chief negotiator, J. Nicholas Counter III, declined to resume talks because SAG continues to insist on terms the companies have rejected. In other words, SAG says they want to restart talks, knowing full well that the studios will say no and then it will be the studios who look bad. The major issue in all of this continues to be the guild’s desire for union coverage of all shows made for the Internet, regardless of budget, and residual payments for actors on made-for-Internet shows that are reused on the Internet. The AMPTP continues to stick by a final offer it made June 30, a proposal they claim is worth $250 million in additional compensation over three years.
- Bands dorks, know your place. You are to march in straight lines, blow into your various metal instruments or bang on your assigned drums, wear butt-ugly uniforms and serve at the target for our jokes. You are not, under any circumstances, to draw attention to yourself in a way that necessitates the rest of us spending any -ANY - time on you and your antics. So this lesson goes out to the University of Wisconsin marching band, which has been suspended indefinitely while allegations of alcohol abuse and sexual misconduct are investigated. The band has been banned from performing at Saturday’s football game between the No. 18 Badgers and No. 14 Ohio State at Camp Randall Stadium. The university made the announcement at a news conference today, saying the behavior is similar to the actions that put the band on probation in 2006. At that time, the allegations against the idiots in the UW band included having seminude band members alleged to dance suggestively in front of other band members and forcing female band members to kiss other women to be allowed to enter bathrooms on a bus. The message must not have gotten through, because the same sort of actions are at the heart of this new mess. The problem is serious enough that band director Mike Leckrone, in that capacity since 1969, made the decision to suspend the band for a game for the first time in his tenure.
No specific details were immediately released about the behavior, but it has been confirmed that it involved inappropriate alcohol use, hazing and sexualized behavior. This wouldn’t be happening if these bands dorks knew their place. Quit trying to act like badasses and like a sports team and starting acting like the band dorks you are. In case you forgot, it was actions like these that led the university to establish a written code of conduct for the band in 2000. Then, in February 2007, the marching band's assistant director Michael Lorenz resigned after an internal report criticized his treatment of a female colleague during a rowdy band trip to Michigan in 2006. After that debacle, then-Chancellor John Wiley threatened band members with losing performance and travel privileges. Now, it appears that the tradition of lewd, lascivious and just plain classless behavior has survived within the Wisconsin band and that much more serious punishment is needed…….
- Whaddya know, more trouble in Iraq caused by the knobs at Blackwater, shocker! After starting unprovoked firefights and killing civilians like they were going out of style, now we learn that back in 2006,
an M4 machine gun sent to Iraq by the Blackwater private security firm somehow disappeared from the company's storage facility in Baghdad and was later discovered during a US military operation. The operation in question apparently took place against suspected insurgents and has kept secret until now. It adds fuel to the fire caused by allegations that Blackwater shipped weapons and silencers to Iraq without proper licensing, allegations that are already under investigation by a federal grand jury in North Carolina. As you’d expect, the liars at Blackwater maintain that all of their weapons “are shipped in accordance with U.S. export control regulations.” I would believe that…..except I don’t. But how could I, what with these allegations and the fact that right now, at this moment, a second federal grand jury in Washington, D.C. is investigating a shooting incident involving Blackwater guards that led to the deaths of 17 civilians. Indictments in that case could come as early as next week, so things are clearly not looking up for Blackwater. Just another great fringe benefit coming from the Mess O’Potamia, W.’s own personal Vietnam, the war/debacle in Iraq……
- I literally don’t know what to say. Right now, up is down, black is white, water is dry, heat is cold and nothing makes sense. The world as we know it has ceased to exist. The one true thing, the one fact we could all rest assured of no matter what else happened, was that the Juice was Teflon in a courtroom, an untouchable figure whose deal with the devil basically allowed him carte blanche to do whatever he wanted here on Earth and to do so free of criminal prosecution. But somehow, some way, that ended today when O.J. Simpson was found guilty in a Las Vegas courtroom of robbing two sports-memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a Vegas hotel room. The 61-year-old former football star could now spend the rest of his life in prison, which would be a sobering thought if not for the fact that he should already be 13+ years into that life sentence after (allegedly) murdering his ex-wife and her boyfriend in 2004. He should be 13+ years into that sentence, but the aforementioned deal with the devil saved him and I figured it would save him here. Now….I don’t know what to believe in anymore. Sentencing has been set for Dec. 5, so there is still time for a miracle of some sort to make the world right again, but I have a sinking feeling that one might not be coming. If you are keeping score at home, the Juice was convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery and 10 other charges, all stemming from his asinine plan hatched last year that involved O.J. recruiting five men and storming into a room at a hotel-casino to retrieve what the Juice claims was sports memorabilia belonging to him. In an ironic twist, this verdict came 13 years to the day after Simpson was cleared turning his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and her friend, Ronald Goldman, into human Pez dispensers. Nice of defense attorney Yale Galanter try to play the payback card, implying that the jury was looking to even the score with the Juice for skating on his double murder. “I don't like to use the word payback,” defense attorney Yale Galanter said. “I can tell you from the beginning my biggest concern ... was whether or not the jury would be able to separate their very strong feelings about Mr. Simpson and judge him fairly and honestly.” No, Yale, I think they did judge him fairly and honestly, I just can’t believe that they did……
- I’m starting to become immune to Hollywood strike talks. Whether it’s actors, writers, producers, or even in the theater industry, I’ve just built up such a tolerance to any guild or union in the entertainment industry threatening a work stoppage because there is always at least one of them doing so at any given time. This time around, it’s the Screen Actors Guild, whose negotiating committee voted Wednesday to support a strike authorization vote. It’s a tactic meant to break stalled contract talks with Hollywood studios and the recommendation, approved 11-2, moves on to the guild's national board for review. In order to be put into motion, the plan would ultimately need approval of 75 percent of the some 120,000 voting guild members. “My personal opinion is, yes, we will achieve a strike authorization,” said Anne Marie Johnson, a spokeswoman for Membership First, a faction of actors that had controlled SAG's national board until it narrowly lost its majority in elections last month. Right now, contract talks dealing with prime-time TV shows and movies have been at a standstill since the previous contract expired June 30 and actors have been working under the terms of the old deal in hopes of avoiding a repeat of a 100-day writers strike that ended in February. That strike pissed off a lot of people, wasted a lot of time and cost a lot of money, what with shutting down production of dozens of TV shows and stalling many movie projects. Its estimated cost to the Los Angeles area economy was an estimated $2.5 billion. The studios, represented by the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, are trying to use the current downward-spiraling state of the economy as a reason for actors not to strike. “It is unrealistic for SAG negotiators now to expect even better terms during this grim financial climate,” the AMPTP said in a statement. Even as they began the process of striking, the actors’ guild also called for talks with the AMPTP to resume, although I’m not sure how genuine that offer is at this point. That’s doubly true when you consider that the producers' chief negotiator, J. Nicholas Counter III, declined to resume talks because SAG continues to insist on terms the companies have rejected. In other words, SAG says they want to restart talks, knowing full well that the studios will say no and then it will be the studios who look bad. The major issue in all of this continues to be the guild’s desire for union coverage of all shows made for the Internet, regardless of budget, and residual payments for actors on made-for-Internet shows that are reused on the Internet. The AMPTP continues to stick by a final offer it made June 30, a proposal they claim is worth $250 million in additional compensation over three years.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Bigotry at Harvard, a Smallville review and an overzealous attorney general in Texas
- “Toxic” was the title of tonight’s episode of Smallville, with Oliver Queen on the wrong end of a poisoning attempt. As Oliver showed up for a big fundraising party that Clark and Chloe were also at, he appeared disoriented and possibly drunk. But when he passed out and Clark and Chloe came to his aid, he insisted that he had been poisoned and had only 12 hours to live. That revelation spurred two separate courses of action: 1) Clark went scurrying for a cure with Chloe helping him dig, and 2) Lois found out about Oliver’s condition and rushed to the side of her old beau. As she waited, we learned through flashbacks that Oliver had experienced a similar poisoning before when he was stranded on a remote island for two years. There, he learned to survive and honed his archery skills to become the master marksman that his alter ego, Green Arrow, is. He escaped the island only when a group of mercenary smugglers stops there to repair their boat and discovers Oliver, who has passed out and is on the verge of death because of being pricked by a thorn from a deadly flower. He recovers thanks to the intervention of one of two prisoners being carried by the smugglers, a woman who turns out to be Tess Mercer, now a fellow titan of industry in Metropolis, just like Oliver, in the present. Mercer’s background as a marine biologist gave her the know-how to use leeches to help Oliver recover because they secrete a healing enzyme and suck out the poisoned blood. The cure worked on the island and when Oliver finds himself facing the same crisis in Metropolis, he knows he’s in trouble. After Chloe uses her new superpower of a brain more powerful than any super computer to sort through the LuthorCorp database and find the identity of the poisonous flower, Clark visits Tess and asks her to provide the antidote he and Chloe know LuthorCorp has. When Tess learns who the antidote is for, she tells Clark that the facility where it is located has been relocated to Brazil and that there is no way to retrieve it in time to save Oliver. Of course, with Clark’s super speed, there is time and he finds the antidote and brings it back in time to save Oliver. Chloe’s new pal Davis, a.k.a. Doomsday, is also on hand to assist Oliver, but his presence at the Isis Foundation offices, where Oliver was taken because he refused to go to the hospital, also leads to an uncomfortable situation between he and Chloe when Davis sees her bank of computers and monitors left over from Lana Lang’s days of surveilling Lex Luthor and pries into what Chloe is using them for. Back on the Oliver front, the instant he recovers and regains consciousness, he tells Clark that the person who poisoned him will also be going after Tess. Clark speeds off and arrives just in time to help Tess, who is being attacked by one of the smugglers from the island who she and Oliver injected with the poison from the mystery flower and left to die on that island. Clark uses his heat vision to saw off a street light and it comes crashing down on Tess’ attacker. However, she’s not content with her enemy going to jail; she pays the man’s bail, then as he gets into a cab to bail out of town, she leans in through the car’s window and scratches him with a thorn from the poisonous flower, injecting him again and possibly sending him to his death. So for the most part, an episode centered in one place and with plenty of drama. Still missing Lana (Kristin Kreuk), Lex Luthor (Michael Rosenbaum) and the rest of the Justice League, but that’s all for this week……
- Maybe unicorns really do exist, leprechauns do hold pots of gold at the end of rainbows and the Loch Ness Monster is real. How else do you explain a miraculous occurrence like Iraq and the U.S. pushing close to a deal setting a course for American combat troops to pull out of major Iraqi cities by next June, unless literally ANYTHING is possible? The plan also contains steps for a broader withdrawal from the long and costly war by 2011. It is still subject to final approval by top Iraqi leadership, but assuming they don’t screw this up, the exit date for U.S. troops would be December 2011. As you might expect, the ass hats currently in charge of our side of the war (still looking at you, W.) insist on linking that target to additional security and political progress. Still, this is an amazing step simply because that tool W. has long resisted a timetable for pulling out, even under heavy pressure from a nation pissed off with hundreds of billions of dollars wasted, thousands of lives lost and all for a war founded on falsifications and lies. It is a day that I never thought I would live to see, the single most moronic, inept president in the history of this country actually being propelled in the right direction on the issue of the Iraq war. Maybe adidas has it right with their current marketing slogan…..anything IS possible…..
- You could see this one coming for a long time. Sooner or later, you knew Lawrence Phillips would be heading to prison for a long time, and so it has come to pass. In a Los Angeles courtroom, Phillips was sentenced to 10 years in prison, two years after he was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon.
The delay in sentencing occurred because Phillips fought to withdraw a guilty plea in a domestic abuse case that could have led to a stiffer sentence. The 10 years behind bars may seem harsh, but then again, LP was convicted in 2006 of seven counts of assault with a deadly weapon. The former Nebraska running back has been jailed since an August 2005 incident in which he drove onto a field near Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and his car struck three boys, ages 14 and 15, and a 19-year-old man. All three suffered cuts and bruises, and the car narrowly missed three other people. Why the rage? If you recall, Phillips was allegedly upset after losing a pickup football game to the kids and subsequently accused them of stealing some of his belongings. In other words, a former NFLer was pissed at losing a pickup game to a bunch of kids and reacted by first accusing them of stealing his gear, then trying to pull an Albert Belle and run them down in his whip. Bizarre, but not surprising when you consider that Phillips has a history of violence dating back to his days at Nebraska, when he allegedly hit his girlfriend and abused her on several occasions. Plus, sentencing on this conviction was delayed while Phillips tried to withdraw a 2000 guilty plea to hitting a woman he had been dating during a confrontation at the Beverly Hills Hotel. The reason for that was that the plea stands as a strike against Phillips under California’s “three-strikes” law, which mandates tougher sentences for repeat offenders. He was also released by the St. Louis Rams in 1997 for insubordination. He also allegedly pawned off a Big 8 (predecessor of the Big 12 conference) championship ring to get a ride out of town during one of the more down periods in his life, so this is a downward trajectory a long, long time in the making……
- Who doesn’t love a good “Hey, a natural disaster is striking a down-and-out region, let’s gouge on prices and make tons of money” story? Me too! So it is with great confusion that I hear about the Texas attorney general suing a hotel and a motel, accusing them of price gouging during September's exodus of more than 1 million Gulf Coast residents ahead of Hurricane Ike. What is your problem, Attorney General Greg Abbott? Why are you filing suit against the Hotel Nacogdoches in Nacogdoches and the Super 8 Brookshire Motel near Katy and accusing them of illegally raising room rates after Gov. Rick Perry had issued a declaration of disaster on September 8? I’m sure it is pure coincidence that Hotel Nacogdoches, located north of Houston along a major evacuation route, charged evacuees more than double its usual rate, $99.99, for a room that had cost $49.99 two days before Ike. And it has to be pure happenstance that the Super 8 Brookshire Motel, west of Katy, charged up to $125 for a room that ordinarily cost $99 and did so during a massive evacuation of the area. Yet Abbott persists. “Although Texas law clearly prohibits profiteering during declared disasters, these defendants are charged with increasing room rates for evacuees during Hurricane Ike,” Abbott said in a statement. “The law imposes strict penalties on vendors that attempt to increase their profits after the governor issues a disaster declaration.” Not only that, dude is piling on these fine entrepreneurs by suggesting that they also charged state and local hotel and motel taxes, even though the governor had issued a declaration waiving them. As such, the office of the attorney general is seeking civil penalties of up to $20,000 per violation and up to $250,000 per violation for victims over the age of 65. Texas law prevents Abbott from bringing criminal charges, so all he can do is sue, thank God. Some equally overzealous local district attorney would have to file the criminal charges. Again, I find it no more than an amazing coincidence that faced with people fleeing a natural disaster, these motels just happened to pick that same time to raise their rates by 25 to 50 percent. It’s not too late to back away from the legal action, G. Abbott…..
- Being smart doesn’t mean your above a little bigotry and racial profiling from the cops. While the smart kids with ginormous SAT scores at Harvard might think that they are a cut above everyone else, the campus police at the school appear to be operating under a very different assumption. The fake cops also known as
campus police at Harvard are under scrutiny as the Ivy League school recently launched a review of the department amid allegations of possible racial profiling of students and professors. University president Drew Gilpin Faust wrote a letter addressed to the public and his university announcing plans to review the department's diversity training in light of an incident last month as well as “concerns expressed internally. The review will include consideration of HUPD's diversity training, community outreach and recruitment efforts, as well as the ways in which Harvard's past experience as well as best practices elsewhere can help inform our future practice.” The incident he referred to in the letter was one in which police confronted a person using tools to remove a lock from a locked bicycle. Faust writes that it was later determined that the person, who was black, was working on the Harvard campus for the summer, owned the bicycle and was trying to cut the lock because the key had broken off in that lock. But hey, I’m sure the cops didn’t jump the gun at all and rush to judgment because they saw a black person cutting a lock off of a bike. Nice to know that even in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, small-minded and biased people still reside…..
- Maybe unicorns really do exist, leprechauns do hold pots of gold at the end of rainbows and the Loch Ness Monster is real. How else do you explain a miraculous occurrence like Iraq and the U.S. pushing close to a deal setting a course for American combat troops to pull out of major Iraqi cities by next June, unless literally ANYTHING is possible? The plan also contains steps for a broader withdrawal from the long and costly war by 2011. It is still subject to final approval by top Iraqi leadership, but assuming they don’t screw this up, the exit date for U.S. troops would be December 2011. As you might expect, the ass hats currently in charge of our side of the war (still looking at you, W.) insist on linking that target to additional security and political progress. Still, this is an amazing step simply because that tool W. has long resisted a timetable for pulling out, even under heavy pressure from a nation pissed off with hundreds of billions of dollars wasted, thousands of lives lost and all for a war founded on falsifications and lies. It is a day that I never thought I would live to see, the single most moronic, inept president in the history of this country actually being propelled in the right direction on the issue of the Iraq war. Maybe adidas has it right with their current marketing slogan…..anything IS possible…..
- You could see this one coming for a long time. Sooner or later, you knew Lawrence Phillips would be heading to prison for a long time, and so it has come to pass. In a Los Angeles courtroom, Phillips was sentenced to 10 years in prison, two years after he was convicted of assault with a deadly weapon.
The delay in sentencing occurred because Phillips fought to withdraw a guilty plea in a domestic abuse case that could have led to a stiffer sentence. The 10 years behind bars may seem harsh, but then again, LP was convicted in 2006 of seven counts of assault with a deadly weapon. The former Nebraska running back has been jailed since an August 2005 incident in which he drove onto a field near Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum and his car struck three boys, ages 14 and 15, and a 19-year-old man. All three suffered cuts and bruises, and the car narrowly missed three other people. Why the rage? If you recall, Phillips was allegedly upset after losing a pickup football game to the kids and subsequently accused them of stealing some of his belongings. In other words, a former NFLer was pissed at losing a pickup game to a bunch of kids and reacted by first accusing them of stealing his gear, then trying to pull an Albert Belle and run them down in his whip. Bizarre, but not surprising when you consider that Phillips has a history of violence dating back to his days at Nebraska, when he allegedly hit his girlfriend and abused her on several occasions. Plus, sentencing on this conviction was delayed while Phillips tried to withdraw a 2000 guilty plea to hitting a woman he had been dating during a confrontation at the Beverly Hills Hotel. The reason for that was that the plea stands as a strike against Phillips under California’s “three-strikes” law, which mandates tougher sentences for repeat offenders. He was also released by the St. Louis Rams in 1997 for insubordination. He also allegedly pawned off a Big 8 (predecessor of the Big 12 conference) championship ring to get a ride out of town during one of the more down periods in his life, so this is a downward trajectory a long, long time in the making……
- Who doesn’t love a good “Hey, a natural disaster is striking a down-and-out region, let’s gouge on prices and make tons of money” story? Me too! So it is with great confusion that I hear about the Texas attorney general suing a hotel and a motel, accusing them of price gouging during September's exodus of more than 1 million Gulf Coast residents ahead of Hurricane Ike. What is your problem, Attorney General Greg Abbott? Why are you filing suit against the Hotel Nacogdoches in Nacogdoches and the Super 8 Brookshire Motel near Katy and accusing them of illegally raising room rates after Gov. Rick Perry had issued a declaration of disaster on September 8? I’m sure it is pure coincidence that Hotel Nacogdoches, located north of Houston along a major evacuation route, charged evacuees more than double its usual rate, $99.99, for a room that had cost $49.99 two days before Ike. And it has to be pure happenstance that the Super 8 Brookshire Motel, west of Katy, charged up to $125 for a room that ordinarily cost $99 and did so during a massive evacuation of the area. Yet Abbott persists. “Although Texas law clearly prohibits profiteering during declared disasters, these defendants are charged with increasing room rates for evacuees during Hurricane Ike,” Abbott said in a statement. “The law imposes strict penalties on vendors that attempt to increase their profits after the governor issues a disaster declaration.” Not only that, dude is piling on these fine entrepreneurs by suggesting that they also charged state and local hotel and motel taxes, even though the governor had issued a declaration waiving them. As such, the office of the attorney general is seeking civil penalties of up to $20,000 per violation and up to $250,000 per violation for victims over the age of 65. Texas law prevents Abbott from bringing criminal charges, so all he can do is sue, thank God. Some equally overzealous local district attorney would have to file the criminal charges. Again, I find it no more than an amazing coincidence that faced with people fleeing a natural disaster, these motels just happened to pick that same time to raise their rates by 25 to 50 percent. It’s not too late to back away from the legal action, G. Abbott…..
- Being smart doesn’t mean your above a little bigotry and racial profiling from the cops. While the smart kids with ginormous SAT scores at Harvard might think that they are a cut above everyone else, the campus police at the school appear to be operating under a very different assumption. The fake cops also known as
campus police at Harvard are under scrutiny as the Ivy League school recently launched a review of the department amid allegations of possible racial profiling of students and professors. University president Drew Gilpin Faust wrote a letter addressed to the public and his university announcing plans to review the department's diversity training in light of an incident last month as well as “concerns expressed internally. The review will include consideration of HUPD's diversity training, community outreach and recruitment efforts, as well as the ways in which Harvard's past experience as well as best practices elsewhere can help inform our future practice.” The incident he referred to in the letter was one in which police confronted a person using tools to remove a lock from a locked bicycle. Faust writes that it was later determined that the person, who was black, was working on the Harvard campus for the summer, owned the bicycle and was trying to cut the lock because the key had broken off in that lock. But hey, I’m sure the cops didn’t jump the gun at all and rush to judgment because they saw a black person cutting a lock off of a bike. Nice to know that even in the hallowed halls of the Ivy League, small-minded and biased people still reside…..
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
A Cubs choke, a fun and simple episode of Greek and problems of the 13th grade
- Hope that was worth it, unidentified Franklin (Ind.) High School senior who is now facing expulsion for the rest of the year and possibly even criminal charges for sending a pornographic picture to everyone in his school. The unidentified student hacked into another student’s account to send a picture of a man's genitals to 2400 students, faculty, and staff last week. Ah ha, good one! Really, really funny…..if you’re 13. Dude, you are a senior, which means you are 17 or 18 years old. By this point, sending out pictures of someone’s junk should not be that amusing to you. Several students who opened the e-mail told their teachers immediately and Principal Craig McCaffrey said his IT specialist was able to quickly retract the emails after only about 100 people had opened it. Once that was taken care of, the specialist was able to track the email to a specific computer, not a tough task, especially on a school system’s server. From there, it was simply a matter of reviewing footage from one of ninety school security cameras that was focused on the student who was sitting at the computer at the time the email was sent. “He didn't deny it and said he just kind of did it as a joke, was his explanation for it,” said McCaffrey. He also said the senior has been suspended for ten days and faces expulsion the rest of the year, which local police are preparing to turn the case over to the Johnson County prosecutor. Prosecutor Lance Hamner said it appears two crimes were committed; computer trespass, and the more serious crime of dissemination of matter that is harmful to a minor. All of that because you think it’s hilarious to send a picture of some dude’s crank to your fellow students and teachers. As sad as it is that a student might be booted from school in his senior year for sending a single image via email, clearly this is a kid who needs a message sent to him and may not get it any other way…....
- Last night, Greek was a blissfully simple episode, one with two man storylines that was both fun and easy to follow. The first of the two was Zeta Beta leadership - Casey, Ashleigh and new pledge educator/former ZBZ president Frannie - traveling to the national ZBZ conference in Orlando. At the conference, Frannie tried a power play by suggesting a revision to the national bylaws that would allow an ousted president to run for the office again despite being booted from it previously. The suggested revision then went before a seven-person ZBZ committee for a vote, with Casey and Frannie spending the next couple days politicking for votes. In the meantime, Casey also got to meet up with Lizzie, the über-annoying, overly perky ZBZ rep who lived with the Cyprus Rhodes ZBZ chapter last season as the recovered from the scandal that ended Season 1. Lizzie is still her effervescent, annoying self, which has led her to run afoul of Teagan, the ZBZ official who has also made a couple of stops at Cyprus Rhodes to chastise and check in on the sisters there. After initially telling Casey she supports Frannie’s idea because Casey went against Teagan in fighting to keep pledge Rebecca Logan from being kicked out of ZBZ, Teagan reveals that it was Frannie who ratted Rebecca out to ZBZ national leadership in the first place. She also says that she’s supporting Frannie unless Casey can “work a miracle” and convince Lizzie to quit. Casey does just that, finding Lizzie drowning her sorrows at a local bar and talking her into telling Teagan off and quitting. That earns Casey Teagan’s vote, but a chance meeting with another convention attendee and ZBZ alumnus named Paula changes Casey’s mind. Paula gives Casey advice on how to handle house politics and when to fight and for what. Casey takes the advice to heart and decides to reverse field, helping Lizzie to change her image and take back her decision to quit. When Lizzie stands up to Teagan, Casey loses the rules committee vote 4-3, but tells Frannie she doesn’t mind because she’s going to kick her former mentor’s ass in the election for ZBZ president anyhow. Another house in trouble, literally, is the Kappa Tau house, which receives a visit from the fire marshal and is hit with a list of eight violations that must be fixed in a month or the KT house will be shut down. After an impromptu yard sale nets no profits toward the $6,000 repair bill, opportunity knocks courtesy of Rusty Cartwright’s engineering major. The honors engineers were looking for a place to hold their annual Galileo party, celebrating the life and work of the famed Italian scientist. Rusty offers up the KT house when the honors engineers can’t find anywhere else for the party and the KT brothers assume that a bunch of dorky engineers will have a simple, boring party that could be the start of a business for KT, hosting parties and events at their house to earn money (Cappie even suggests hosting weddings after he is certified online as a minister). However, the party turns out to be not what the KT’s expected, as the engineers bring their own special alcholic concoction that has everyone falling-down drunk quicker than usual. Furniture is destroyed, walls are damaged and Cappie ends up sharing a deep conversation with an unusual ally - Dale. The dorky, religious, conservative engineer and the goofy, irresponsible frat president strike up a bond over their shared dislike of Max, Rusty’s RA and Casey’s new boyfriend. With Cappie still not over Casey and Dale still hanging onto a big crush on her, both aren't Max fans. A drunken Cappie later pulls Rusty into a dark closet to interrogate him about Max, but Rusty doesn’t take it too seriously. At the end of the night, the KT house is a mess, with even their legendary Vesuvius papier-mâché volcano destroyed. But just when it looks like their mission has failed, Max and a few honors engineers show up to make amends for their rowdy party by fixing all the damage they caused and also doing the necessary repairs to get the house up to code for the fire marshal. So a fun, simple episode, one leading up to what is supposedly “the most romantic night of the Greek year” next week, so tune in then and see what materializes…..
- This next bit of news is the least-surprising development I’ve heard since learning that Rosie O’Donnell is fat, loud and obnoxious. Police in Melbourne, Fla. have arrested a Brevard Community College student Friday in connection with an on-campus explosion. Michael Woodson was arrested and transported to the Brevard County Jail, where he was being held on $15,000 bond. Yes, a community college student was arrested for setting off an explosion on campus. Let me tell you something…..the real surprise would be if someone attending community college, i.e. the 13th grade, didn’t do something stupid and criminal. These are the losers who not only can’t make it into a four-year college or university, they couldn’t score a spot at a junior college either. Thus, they are relegated to community college where they can attend class with other burnouts and brain deads, toiling in an academic wasteland that demands only slightly more from them than a low-level Mad Libs puzzle. This explosion was reported in an elevator shaft of a building on the Brevard Community College Melbourne campus before 11:15 a.m. Thursday. Authorities locked down the campus and cancelled classes, but no one was injured in the incident. “They said that they heard what sounded like a large door slamming and saw smoke coming from the elevator,” witness William Heinz said. “People were unsure what was going on and they seemed confused and panicky.” Initial analysis from the local fire department’s explosives unit indicated that the blast “was from some kind of improvised device,” such as a bottle or glass jar. partner Florida Today reported. One faculty member reported seeing a man fleeing the scene, with that man apparently being Michael Woodson. Not a good day for him, because the only thing worse than attending community college is being expelled from community college…..
- Looking to rep your favorite porn-mag skanks while taking part n your favorite extreme sports? If so, snowboard manufacturer Burton has a new line of snowboards just for you. The line features images of Playboy models in what the company is calling “discrete.” Yeah, because what’s not discrete about silicone-enhanced skanks taking off their clothes for millions of pervy strangers to gawk at? Not surprisingly, the new line is upsetting some people who feel that Burton's 2009 Coalition line of snowboards featuring a model called the “Love” is offensive and tasteless. The board uses vintage Playboy magazine photos as the main design element, which could be a problem given the fact that the models' intended market is 14 to 24-year-old males. In other words, some horny teenage guys are going to be the target for porn snowboards. Predictably, Burton is spinning things in their favor, with spokeswoman Caroline Andrews saying the Coalition line is only sold in certain snowboard shops, there are limited quantities and the boards will be wrapped and sold only to people over 18. Just a thought, but if you need to wrap your snowboard in brown paper and keep them on a high shelf in a sectioned-off part of the store, that’s a bad sign. What, are seedy losers in trench coats going to be buying them as well? For international corporation with offices around the world, this just seems like a dumb move. I doubt that sales of these boards are going to give your bottom line a serious bump, and the negative reaction and attention you’re going to receive from them may just outweigh any profit you can turn……
- Another year, same old Chicago Cubs. Despite having the best record in the National League, it appears the same old Loveable Losers on the North Side will be showing up for the playoffs this year. After being swept out of the playoffs last year by Arizona, the Cubs came back with a vengeance this year, winning more games than anyone else in the National League and earning home-field advantage for the first two rounds of the playoffs. So what did they do once the postseason began? They promptly threw that advantage away in a 7-2 loss where starter Ryan “Dumpster” Dempster walked seven batters and couldn’t even survive the fifth inning. The offense, populated with high-salaried, underperforming playoff chokers like Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee and Alfonso Soriano, didn’t even bother to show up and were part of a pathetic effort that gives no indication that there will be anything different about this year’s playoff run for the Cubs. They’ve gone 100 years without winning a World Series, and while that history has no affect on this year’s team, that doesn’t mean that this year’s team can’t (and isn't) doing a great job of continuing that legacy……
- Last night, Greek was a blissfully simple episode, one with two man storylines that was both fun and easy to follow. The first of the two was Zeta Beta leadership - Casey, Ashleigh and new pledge educator/former ZBZ president Frannie - traveling to the national ZBZ conference in Orlando. At the conference, Frannie tried a power play by suggesting a revision to the national bylaws that would allow an ousted president to run for the office again despite being booted from it previously. The suggested revision then went before a seven-person ZBZ committee for a vote, with Casey and Frannie spending the next couple days politicking for votes. In the meantime, Casey also got to meet up with Lizzie, the über-annoying, overly perky ZBZ rep who lived with the Cyprus Rhodes ZBZ chapter last season as the recovered from the scandal that ended Season 1. Lizzie is still her effervescent, annoying self, which has led her to run afoul of Teagan, the ZBZ official who has also made a couple of stops at Cyprus Rhodes to chastise and check in on the sisters there. After initially telling Casey she supports Frannie’s idea because Casey went against Teagan in fighting to keep pledge Rebecca Logan from being kicked out of ZBZ, Teagan reveals that it was Frannie who ratted Rebecca out to ZBZ national leadership in the first place. She also says that she’s supporting Frannie unless Casey can “work a miracle” and convince Lizzie to quit. Casey does just that, finding Lizzie drowning her sorrows at a local bar and talking her into telling Teagan off and quitting. That earns Casey Teagan’s vote, but a chance meeting with another convention attendee and ZBZ alumnus named Paula changes Casey’s mind. Paula gives Casey advice on how to handle house politics and when to fight and for what. Casey takes the advice to heart and decides to reverse field, helping Lizzie to change her image and take back her decision to quit. When Lizzie stands up to Teagan, Casey loses the rules committee vote 4-3, but tells Frannie she doesn’t mind because she’s going to kick her former mentor’s ass in the election for ZBZ president anyhow. Another house in trouble, literally, is the Kappa Tau house, which receives a visit from the fire marshal and is hit with a list of eight violations that must be fixed in a month or the KT house will be shut down. After an impromptu yard sale nets no profits toward the $6,000 repair bill, opportunity knocks courtesy of Rusty Cartwright’s engineering major. The honors engineers were looking for a place to hold their annual Galileo party, celebrating the life and work of the famed Italian scientist. Rusty offers up the KT house when the honors engineers can’t find anywhere else for the party and the KT brothers assume that a bunch of dorky engineers will have a simple, boring party that could be the start of a business for KT, hosting parties and events at their house to earn money (Cappie even suggests hosting weddings after he is certified online as a minister). However, the party turns out to be not what the KT’s expected, as the engineers bring their own special alcholic concoction that has everyone falling-down drunk quicker than usual. Furniture is destroyed, walls are damaged and Cappie ends up sharing a deep conversation with an unusual ally - Dale. The dorky, religious, conservative engineer and the goofy, irresponsible frat president strike up a bond over their shared dislike of Max, Rusty’s RA and Casey’s new boyfriend. With Cappie still not over Casey and Dale still hanging onto a big crush on her, both aren't Max fans. A drunken Cappie later pulls Rusty into a dark closet to interrogate him about Max, but Rusty doesn’t take it too seriously. At the end of the night, the KT house is a mess, with even their legendary Vesuvius papier-mâché volcano destroyed. But just when it looks like their mission has failed, Max and a few honors engineers show up to make amends for their rowdy party by fixing all the damage they caused and also doing the necessary repairs to get the house up to code for the fire marshal. So a fun, simple episode, one leading up to what is supposedly “the most romantic night of the Greek year” next week, so tune in then and see what materializes…..
- This next bit of news is the least-surprising development I’ve heard since learning that Rosie O’Donnell is fat, loud and obnoxious. Police in Melbourne, Fla. have arrested a Brevard Community College student Friday in connection with an on-campus explosion. Michael Woodson was arrested and transported to the Brevard County Jail, where he was being held on $15,000 bond. Yes, a community college student was arrested for setting off an explosion on campus. Let me tell you something…..the real surprise would be if someone attending community college, i.e. the 13th grade, didn’t do something stupid and criminal. These are the losers who not only can’t make it into a four-year college or university, they couldn’t score a spot at a junior college either. Thus, they are relegated to community college where they can attend class with other burnouts and brain deads, toiling in an academic wasteland that demands only slightly more from them than a low-level Mad Libs puzzle. This explosion was reported in an elevator shaft of a building on the Brevard Community College Melbourne campus before 11:15 a.m. Thursday. Authorities locked down the campus and cancelled classes, but no one was injured in the incident. “They said that they heard what sounded like a large door slamming and saw smoke coming from the elevator,” witness William Heinz said. “People were unsure what was going on and they seemed confused and panicky.” Initial analysis from the local fire department’s explosives unit indicated that the blast “was from some kind of improvised device,” such as a bottle or glass jar. partner Florida Today reported. One faculty member reported seeing a man fleeing the scene, with that man apparently being Michael Woodson. Not a good day for him, because the only thing worse than attending community college is being expelled from community college…..
- Looking to rep your favorite porn-mag skanks while taking part n your favorite extreme sports? If so, snowboard manufacturer Burton has a new line of snowboards just for you. The line features images of Playboy models in what the company is calling “discrete.” Yeah, because what’s not discrete about silicone-enhanced skanks taking off their clothes for millions of pervy strangers to gawk at? Not surprisingly, the new line is upsetting some people who feel that Burton's 2009 Coalition line of snowboards featuring a model called the “Love” is offensive and tasteless. The board uses vintage Playboy magazine photos as the main design element, which could be a problem given the fact that the models' intended market is 14 to 24-year-old males. In other words, some horny teenage guys are going to be the target for porn snowboards. Predictably, Burton is spinning things in their favor, with spokeswoman Caroline Andrews saying the Coalition line is only sold in certain snowboard shops, there are limited quantities and the boards will be wrapped and sold only to people over 18. Just a thought, but if you need to wrap your snowboard in brown paper and keep them on a high shelf in a sectioned-off part of the store, that’s a bad sign. What, are seedy losers in trench coats going to be buying them as well? For international corporation with offices around the world, this just seems like a dumb move. I doubt that sales of these boards are going to give your bottom line a serious bump, and the negative reaction and attention you’re going to receive from them may just outweigh any profit you can turn……
- Another year, same old Chicago Cubs. Despite having the best record in the National League, it appears the same old Loveable Losers on the North Side will be showing up for the playoffs this year. After being swept out of the playoffs last year by Arizona, the Cubs came back with a vengeance this year, winning more games than anyone else in the National League and earning home-field advantage for the first two rounds of the playoffs. So what did they do once the postseason began? They promptly threw that advantage away in a 7-2 loss where starter Ryan “Dumpster” Dempster walked seven batters and couldn’t even survive the fifth inning. The offense, populated with high-salaried, underperforming playoff chokers like Aramis Ramirez, Derrek Lee and Alfonso Soriano, didn’t even bother to show up and were part of a pathetic effort that gives no indication that there will be anything different about this year’s playoff run for the Cubs. They’ve gone 100 years without winning a World Series, and while that history has no affect on this year’s team, that doesn’t mean that this year’s team can’t (and isn't) doing a great job of continuing that legacy……
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