- I never like wishing bad things on people, even ones I don’t especially like. However, I make exceptions when it comes to country music artists, mostly because of the pain and suffering they have foisted on society with their putrid excuse for “music.” Under that principle, I don’t mind relaying news that country singer Lorrie Morgan has filed for bankruptcy for primarily business related debts in a Nashville court. Morgan filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy in federal court, listing her estimated liabilities between $1 million to $10 million, which tends to be a problem when you report having assets of $500,000 to $1 million. I’m not an accountant, but the debts seem to be much larger than the assets, which is generally considered a bad thing. Morgan, living in the Nashville suburb of Lebanon, released a statement calling the bankruptcy “an unfortunate yet necessary part of the restructuring of my business.” Let me translate that: I’m broke, I’m washed up and I was still living like I was a successful artist with a steady income while my career declined. You might be trying to sell everyone on the fact that you’re okay, L., but most people’s definition of okay isn’t owing money to the Internal Revenue Service, banks and lawyers. Being down to the IRS is a big problem, because as I’ve stated over and over, there are lots of things you can get away with in this country - even double murder of your ex-wife and her waiter boyfriend - but trying to get over on the IRS is not one of them. This isn’t the first time Morgan has filed for bankruptcy, either; in 1992, she repaid her creditors in full and withdrew a bankruptcy petition after filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, listing more than $846,000 in debts. Not exactly a banner couple of years for her, either; last year, Morgan filed for divorce from country singer Sammy Kershaw. He was Morgan's fifth husband, and five failed marriages and two bankruptcy filings are about five failed marriages and two bankruptcy filings too many for one lifetime…..
- I may not be someone who is a stickler for drinking age laws, but I’m still going to err on the side of caution here and say that sixth grade is too early in life to start boozing it up. You wouldn’t think I would need to say that at all, but given the fact that several sixth-grade students at a Fort Collins (Colo.) elementary school have been disciplined after school officials caught them drinking alcohol at the school, it may be time to reconsider. According to Poudre School District spokeswoman Ellen Laubhan, the incident happened Friday at the school after one student brought alcohol to school and shared it with other students. Ah, the joys of peer pressure. The school district isn’t disclosing what discipline will be imposed on the students, but the sight of several 12-year-olds attending AA is a bizarre and amusing one. But leave it to a school district official like Laubhan to state the obvious, saying, “We do have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to alcohol.” Thanks for that, E. A junior high has a zero tolerance policy for alcohol? Given that none of your students, even the dumber ones who have been held back once or twice, are within seven years of the legal drinking age, is that a rule you really need? Some key details are also missing here, such as what kind of booze the kids were drinking, how much was consumed and how many students were involved. But if nothing else, this is a solid preview of your future Keg Stand All-Stars, America. Look for these kids at the University of Colorado, Colorado State or Northern Colorado in five or six years…..
- Here is yet more proof that soccer is not a legit, major professional sport in this country. European club team AC Milan is close to signing David Beckham on loan from the Los Angeles Galaxy, the Italian club said Wednesday. AC Milan is looking to lock up Becks during the Galaxy’s offseason, which makes it only slightly less ridiculous. I don’t remember the Bulls allowing Michael Jordan to sign with a Greek team during his offseason, nor do I recall the Yankees leeting Alex Rodriguez pick it for a Japanese team during his offseason. Under the terms of the proposed deal, Beckham would join the Serie A club in January and play there until the end of the season. Becks wants to play because doing so would keep him active and in the running for England’s World Cup qualifying team. In a hilarious twist, Beckham's spokesman, Simon Oliveira of 19 Management in Los Angeles, acknowledged talks are taking place for a short-term loan but "nothing is confirmed at present." Yes, a soccer player in the U.S. has a spokesman and representation. Know your place, soccer player. Your sport at the professional level is at best the seventh or eight most popular sport in this country, so in other words, you don’t matter here. The fact that one of your alleged biggest stars could be loaned out to a foreign team during the offseason is yet another piece of evidence that speaks to this fact loudly and clearly…..
- Being a human rights advocate and working to better the world apparently does not buy you and goodwill in the American legal system, at least when it comes to real estate and residency matters. New York's top court made the decision this week to uphold Bianca Jagger's eviction from a rent-stabilized Manhattan apartment, concluding that foreigners on tourist visas can't claim New York dwellings as their primary residence. Jagger, ex-wife of Rolling Stones front man Mick Jagger, is a British human rights activist and ex-who was evicted in December from the Upper East Side apartment she had rented for 20 years. Why she’s fighting so hard to keep this place, I don’t know, because she hasn't lived in the apartment for the past few years because of a dispute over asbestos and fungus contamination. Said issues led to a lawsuit against landlord Katz Park Avenue Corp., but in the end it’s Jagger who felt the sting of the law. “There are still claims for legal fees and unpaid rent and use and occupancy,” said attorney Magda Cruz, the landlord's lawyer. In other words, Jagger not only didn’t live in the apartment, she clearly felt that her dispute over fungus and asbestos meant that she didn’t need to pay her rent. Jagger was renting the 18th-floor Park Avenue space for (at least in New York) a surprisingly low $4,614 a month when a judge imposed a fine in 2006 and ordered her to pay months of back rent. She continued to argue that the apartment was uninhabitable, but no one bought that line of B.S. That didn’t take away Jagger’s sense of privilege and entitlement, as she fought her eviction and dragged this matter out in court. But hey, she still has a nice apartment in London, so no worries……
- Nothing like faking an assault to show your support for your favorite presidential candidate. Allow me to introduce Republican campaign worker Ashley Todd of College Park, Texas, who will be charged with filing a false police report, a misdemeanor, and may face more charges after telling police she was assaulted by a man angered by a John McCain sticker on her car, then admitting she made up the report. Todd was in Pittsburgh, Pa. at an ATM in Pittsburgh's East End, when the phony assault allegedly occurred. She told police that a man approached her Wednesday night at the ATM, put a blade to her neck and demanded money. However, when police (shocker!) got around to investigating, they found “several inconsistencies” in Todd's statement. When they also could not find her in surveillance videos taken at the ATM, the suspicions of her story heightened. By the way, nice move there, Ashley. You may or may not know this, but ATM’s tend to be highly photographed locations, what with people liking to rob them or rob others using them, etc. To confirm their suspicions that Todd was, in fact, lying, police asked her take a polygraph test this morning and while the results weren’t made positive, you don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what they were. In the end, when Todd came to the police station to help work on a composite sketch of the alleged attacker she caved and said she “ just wanted to tell the truth” -- that she was not robbed, and there was no attacker. No attack? That’s quite a departure from being punched in the back of the head, knocked to the ground, punched and kicked some more while while threatening to teach you a lesson for being a McCain supporter. And let’s be honest, McCain supporters don’t need to suffer a blow to the head - they already have suffered enough brain damage as is, otherwise they wouldn’t be supporting John McCain. So as much as it pains me, I’m going to have to agree with Assistant Police Chief Maurita Bryant, who said, “This has wasted so much time. ... It's just a lot of wasted man hours.” But nice move by the Obama campaign, wishing also Todd a "speedy recovery." This campaign just can’t end soon enough so these shenanigans will be over….
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