- Look, attorneys for O.J. Simpson, I feel the same way you do. I too am in disbelief that the Juice was actually convicted of a crime, even one he so obviously committed. When a man walks away from a double murder that he (almost certainly) committed, you tend to feel that way about him. That being said, I don’t know that you claim that judicial errors and insufficient evidence in the Juice’s recent trial on charges of kidnapping and robbing two sports memorabilia dealers at gunpoint in a casino hotel room are going to fly. You might want a new trial, I just don’t think you’re getting one. “Simpson should be granted a new trial,” Simpson attorney Gabriel Grasso wrote in a motion to the court. Grasso and Simpson lawyer Yale Galanter also asser that the judge refused to grant enough time to fully review transcripts and videotapes of the trial. “She didn't give us the time we need to do a full-fledged motion,” said Galanter. Dude, O.J. is employing an entire legal team to defend him and you all didn’t have enough time? You may not have had enough time to find a miracle to gain an acquittal for a guilty man, Yale, but that doesn’t mean you weren’t given sufficient time to complete your motion. You can threaten to make a more detailed appeal to the Nevada Supreme Court if this one is denied, but I think somehow the Juice’s deal with the devil has expired or there’s a loophole you didn’t know about, because no longer does O.J. appear immune for justice. You have to expect that he will indeed be sentenced Dec. 5 on 12 charges, including kidnapping, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon. I don’t know how long of a sentence the Juice will receive, with five years to life in prison riding on each of the two kidnapping convictions and a mandatory sentence of at least two years or up to 30 years on each of the two armed robbery convictions, it doesn’t look good. One pleasant comedic side note is the fact that O.J.’s attorneys are arguing that the jury was picked unfairly, which might be true….if you were betting on getting a jury of morons like the one that acquitted him back in 1995. So if your standard is a jury of people with an average IQ of 41, then yes, I agree that it was unfair. Otherwise, justice has been served - just 13 years late…….
- When it comes to South Park, most of us fall into one of two groups. Either you’re a fan of the show and think it’s irreverent, crass and sophomoric humor is hilarious, or you can't stand the show and have long since tuned it out. It’s been around long enough that nearly all of the conservative outrage against it seeking to shut it down have died off. It’s on Comedy Central, not a major network, so it’s not in the forefront. Still, show creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker have kept pushing the envelope and this time they may have gone to an extreme they shouldn’t have gone to. Wednesday night's episode used a recurring joke in which producers George Lucas and Steven Spielberg repeatedly (and in the style of some classic film scenes, for example Deliverance) sexually assaulted an unwitting Indiana Jones. To put things in context, the scenes were offered as a commentary on the Indiana Jones producers' exploitation of the franchise to rake in the money without worrying about the quality of the product, a fact that was clearly evident in the most recent of the four Indiana Jones movies. The problem here is that franchise is produced by Paramount, which like Comedy Central is owned by Viacom. With both companies under the same corporate umbrella, it will be interesting to see how this plays out. It isn't the first time South Park has taken a shot at a Paramount icon, with an episode last month showing Paramount icon Tom Cruise locked in a closet. The irreverence is part of what’s great about South Park, but that doesn’t mean it should have carte blanche to make any joke it wants without repercussion……
- Now that’s more like it for a college football Saturday. Three of the top four teams in the AP poll in action, three of top four teams lose. The upsets began early in the day, with No. 5 Texas outscoring top-ranked Oklahoma 45-35 before a raucous crowd at the Cotton Bowl in Dallas. In a game called the Red River Shootout, a shootout was exactly what transpired as the teams traded touchdowns all afternoon. Thanks to a late surge, the Longhorns overcame five touchdown passes by OU quarterback Sam Bradford to win and vault themselves to the top spot in the poll. The second-ranked team in the country, noted liar Nick Saban’s Alabama Crimson Tide, were off this Saturday with a bye, but the third- and fourth-ranked teams weren’t so fortunate. In a stunning home upset, No. 3 Missouri was beaten at home by No. 17 Oklahoma State, 28-23 in a game whose score was about half of what you’d have expected going in. It was also much closer than the 51-21 beatdown that No. 11 Florida laid on No. 4 LSU in Gainesville. Florida was coming off of a bitter home loss to Mississippi two weeks ago, but they bounced right back into the national championship picture by throttling the Tigers behind three total touchdowns (2 passing, 1 rushing) from quarterback Tim Tebow. Other than that, the top teams held serve, although No. 7 Texas Tech made it dicey by waiting until overtime to overcome Nebraska 37-31. One spectacular collapse that didn’t involve Top 25 teams featured the Buffalo Bulls, who came from ahead to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory against Western Michigan. UB was ahead by 14 points with five minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, but surrendered two touchdowns and couldn’t match a WMU score in the first overtime in losing 34-28. Another Michigan team was involved in an embarrassing loss - the Michigan Wolverines, who suffered their worst loss since choking in last season’s home opener to Division 1-AA Appalachian State in falling to Mid-American conference also-ran Toledo at the Big House 13-10. That loss drops UM to 2-4 under new coach Rich-er Fraud-riguez, and such a disappointing season couldn’t be happening to a more deserving guy. One final game of note was No. 15 Vanderbilt, which celebrated its ascension to the top 15 by losing to a Mississippi State team that came in sporting an impressive 1-4 record. On the whole, an exciting Saturday of action and one that starts what should be a frenetic, fantastic final six weeks of the college football season……
- Have a style or genre of music you can't stand? I know I do, several of them actually: country, techno, dance, mainstream pop, boy bands, R&B, polka…..but I digress. The point is that all of us have that one (or more) genre of music that makes us plug our ears and run screaming from the room. But if listening to that music was the difference between a $150 fine from your local court and a $35 fine, would your perspective change? For Andrew Vactor of Urbana, Ohio. the answer to that question proved to be no. Vactor facing a $150 fine for playing rap music too loudly on his car stereo in July, but Champaign County Municipal Court Judge Susan Fornof-Lippencott offered to reduce the fine to $35 if Vactor spent 20 hours listening to classical music by the likes of Bach, Beethoven and Chopin. Initially Vactor accepted the offer, but according to his probation officer, he lasted only about 15 minutes with the classical tunes. His excuse for bailing out so quickly was that it wasn’t solely the result of the music; Vactor claims he also needed to be at practice with the rest of the Urbana University basketball team. “I didn't have the time to deal with that,” he said. “I just decided to pay the fine.” According to the judge, the idea behind the unique punishment was to force Vactor to listen to something didn’t enjoy, just as other people had no choice but to listen to his loud rap music. Judge Fornof-Lippencott has a habit of coming up with unusual sentences for defendants who appear before her court; she's taped TV shows for defendants in other cases to watch on topics such as financial responsibility. I’m not someone who is a fan of the law or authority figures, so I won't give the judge too much credit for that, but minor points for attempted creativity……
- Some things you just don’t want to say on the air, especially when they are pure speculation and/or asinine conspiracy theories alleging someone faked a potentially fatal disease. Chris Baker and Langdon Perry of KTLK in Minneapolis made the ill-reasoned, idiotic remarks during Baker's conservative radio show on Wednesday, claiming that former NBA star Magic Johnson faked having AIDS in the 1990s. Johnson took the high road, condemning the statements, but saying he didn’t feel that it should cost these two ass clowns their jobs. “We can't have people out here making false statements and putting out bad information, because this battle is too big when it comes to HIV and AIDS,” Johnson said in response to the controversy. “I poured my life into it and a lot of other people have poured their life into it, into getting out the right information so people can protect themselves and know what HIV and AIDS is all about.” So aside from calling remarks “so stupid,” Magic isn't stooping to the level of these two tools. The remarks came after a caller to the show claimed that health care isn't a basic right, to which Perry responded by asking about treatable diseases that a person can live with for a long time “if you just get some basic drugs.” That’s when Baker chimed in with, “Like Magic Johnson?” To which Perry promptly switched off all brain functions relating to thought and reasoning, then replied, “Magic with his faked AIDS. Magic faked AIDS.” Baker then decided that Perry should not be alone in his stupidity and said, “You think Magic faked AIDS for sympathy?” Perry, striving to be consistent in his ass-hattery, shot back, “I'm convinced that Magic faked AIDS.” To round out a truly despicable exchange, Baker wrapped up by saying, “Me too.” Great job all around, fellas. That is what you want to do, claim that when Johnson was diagnosed with HIV in 1991 and subsequently retired from the NBA at 32, he was doing so for sympathy. Just one question….why the hell did dude need sympathy? He was one of the most beloved athletes of his time, a famous face who was almost universally loved. He wasn’t some despised a-hole who needed a ploy like faking an illness to get some love. But before you make those types of claims, it’s also good to get your facts straight. As Johnson reminded everyone, he has HIV, not AIDS. HIV can lead to AIDS, but it is not the same thing, one is a precursor to the other. So an all-around stellar performance by both Perry and Baker, showing that together, they have the intelligence and sensitivity of a pair of pruning shears…..
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