Friday, October 31, 2008

Band dorks bring disaster, a reutrn for the Ponzi scheme and a school district run by idiots

- Know what we haven’t had enough of lately? Good Ponzi schemes, that’s what. Everyone loves a solid Ponzi scheme, roping people into a total sham business and forcing them to sucker others in as well in order to make back their money, good times. Well, thanks to Andres Pimstein of Miami, Florida, that drought is over. Federal prosecutors have charged Pimstein with 12 counts of wire fraud in connection with the scheme that lured University of Miami employees to help him pull off the multimillion-dollar scheme that cost investors more than $20 million. This came to light after lawsuits filed by an angry investor and a former business partner of Pimstein were filed, alleging that Pimstein -- a University of Miami business school graduate -- recruited university employees and used school facilities to facilitate the scheme. According to the lawsuits, Pimstein used detailed flow charts and fake invoices to persuade would-be participants, telling them his firm would be selling perfumes and electronics to a South American department-store chain with which he had no actual business. Now that is a solid one, a fake perfume-selling scam and an international flavor by involving the South American department-store chain, very nice. Well, nice unless you object to bilking people out of millions of dollars, then maybe not so nice. That could be why Pimstein faces up to 20 years in prison and a $250,000 fine if convicted. For those not familiar with the particulars of Ponzi schemes, they work by paying early investors from the principal paid in by later investors instead of from actual profits, which don’t really exist. For Pimstein, things were going along swimmingly until his entire operation collapsed in early 2008 after he was no longer able to pay investors their promised returns of 18 to 36 percent. Hmm, and you don’t think you should be suspicious when a person offers you an 18 to 36 percent return on investment for a murky, vague foreign company? Part of me thinks that the idiots who got suckered in by this scam almost deserve what they got - almost. Look for the prosecution in this one to go quickly, what with Pimstein admitting to the scheme in a taped interview Miami-Dade County police, with the recording turned over to the FBI. But good to see the Ponzi scheme making a comeback, I’ve missed it…..

- Here is something that should never happen in a football game. A player should never be injured because he runs into a wagon left out near the field of play by a band dork. Such is the case of University of Houston wide receiver Patrick Edwards, who broke his leg Tuesday night when he ran into a cart used by band dorks to haul instruments and gear and broke his leg during a game in Huntington, West Virginia against the Marshall. Edwards was going after a pass at full speed in the third quarter when his right shin hit the cart in the back of the end zone. The nearest referee immediately called for help and Edwards was carried off the field and taken to Cabell Huntington Hospital where he underwent surgery on the leg. Talking about the incident, Edwards says he never saw the cart before hitting it. “I just saw the ball in the air and once it came down, I hit the cart and flipped over it,” Edwards stated. Ironically, while Edwards says he doesn’t hold any animosity toward the band dorks who left the carts on the field, his mother, Patricia Edwards, says that she is considering legal action against Marshall. Under the heading of too little, too late, Marshall athletic director Bob Marcum said the carts, will be relocated at future games. Couple that with an apology that does no one any good, with Marcum saying in part, “We are sorry the accident took place and wish Patrick a quick and full recovery," and you have a whole lot of empty words being thrown out. Adding fuel to the fire is the fact that the game was televised nationally by ESPN and the accident has already been shown thousands of times online. The grisly details of the incident are that Edwards, Houston's leading receiver with 634 yards on 46 catches, suffered a compound fracture and had a rod inserted in his lower right leg. Still, he expects to make a full recovery and be back on the field next season…….

- Thank God. Finally, one of the most ridiculous, retarded and lame shows on television is going to end. Nothing outside of reality shows is as pathetic as adult-oriented cartoons, and chief among those offenders has been Fox’s “King of the Hill.” The show chronicles the life of blue-collar family man Hank Hill of Texas and his family and friends. It is chock-full of humor that would be insulting to a first grader and once again, cartoons are for kids and if adults want to watch cartoons, they can watch the ones designed for kids. So I am ecstatic to hear the Fox is canceling this terrible show and that final episodes of the half-hour series, now in its 13th year, will air during the 2009-10 season. Not soon enough for me, but then again, 13 years ago would not have been soon enough for canceling this certified piece of crap. Sadly, Fox didn’t totally come to its senses, because it has renewed another of its moronic adult cartoons, the equally ridiculous “American Dad,” which will return for a fifth season. The “King of the Hill” cancellation comes after the show has earned relatively flat ratings early this season. I’d be fine with the cancellation of all adult cartoons - The Simpsons, King of the Hill, American Dad - on Fox, the only major broadcast network who standards are low enough to allow them on air, but for now I’ll take what I can get…..

- Not a good week for prominent sports agent Leigh Steinberg, who was arrested on suspicion of being drunk in public on Oct. 22 in Newport Beach, Calif. Steinberg was taken into custody about 8 p.m. on Oct. 22 after police received a report about a man “screaming and attempting to climb a hill” above the Newport Auto Center. They arrived on the scene and found Steinberg, whose speech was slurred even though no alcoholic beverages were found. It’s a sad turn for a guy who has acknowledged a battle with alcoholism, and appears to have relapsed into those bad habits. After his arrest, Steinberg was taken to the city jail, where he was booked for investigation of public intoxication and released on his own recognizance pending a Dec. 8 court hearing. Before being released, he also signed a statement that said police planned to seek criminal charges and promising to appear in court. An interesting twist in the story came later in the day when there was no record of Steinberg's latest arrest in the district attorney's computer, meaning it was not immediately possible to determine whether he had been charged. Bottom line here is that I am definitely rooting for Steinberg, a good guy with a major alcohol problem, to beat his demons. He has represented such big names as boxer Oscar de la Hoya and quarterbacks Troy Aikman, Steve Young and Drew Bledsoe, but all the while he has been battling his addiction, as evidenced by the fact that in April 2007, he was arrested for investigation of drunken driving after his Mercedes hit three parked cars and knocked over a fire hydrant. He pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges. That came a decade after a 1997 incident in which, Steinberg was sentenced to community service after being arrested in Newport Beach for investigation of drunken driving when he hit a car, injuring the driver. Get help and get right, Leigh, because I don’t like where this is heading and if it keeps going that direction, it’s not going to end well…..

- Nobody is a bigger college sports fan than I am, but you’ll have to excuse me for not being down with the Clarke County (Ga.) School District for call off school today, the day before the huge Florida-Georgia college football game in Jacksonville, Florida. The game, which I continue to call by its now-banned name, The World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party, is a major battle every year, but that doesn’t justify calling off school for a day. Yes, last year 137 teachers last year in the district, which includes the University of Georgia, called in sick the day before the big game, and the district was able to find only 113 substitutes. Looking back after that tough day, school administrators found a pattern -- almost twice as many teachers call in sick the Friday before the annual game in Jacksonville, Fla., about 360 miles away, than on an average school day. Hmm…..I’m guessing that most of them weren’t sick, but maybe I’m just overly cynical. What is garbage here is that it’s the freaking day before the game, not the day of. Show up for work, then if you want to go to the game, you’ve got plenty of time to drive down and be there the night before. If you call of sick that day, you should have to produce a note from your doctor and certified medical proof of your illness, otherwise you are docked two days’ pay. And the district calling off school completely - that’s just crap, period. Like I said, I love college sports and I’m one of the crazies staying up until 2:15 a.m. during college basketball season to watch West Coast Conference games, but even I can’t go along with this one…..

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