Thursday, November 27, 2008

Why not to sex it up on a beach, starting your own Pacman "Banished from the NFL pools" and bribes make the drug smuggling business go 'round

- File this one under the heading of 1) bureaucratic red tape and moronic rules ruining potentially awesome situation for an underprivileged kid, and 2) whiny, weasely school/company/organization b*tching about someone not playing fair specifically because that other school/company/organization is better than them. The place(s) two high school football-loving towns in California, Oakdale in Stanislaus County and Colfax in Placer County. Colfax and Oakdale were set to meet Friday night in a playoff game, their fifth such meeting in the postseason for the fifth time since 2002. Boosters were firing up their grills, fans were setting out blankets to reserve the best seats and the Colfax Falcons were boarding a bus for the two-hour trip to meet their opponents. Enter something that just doesn’t belong in high school football, a state Superior Court judge in Alameda County who ordered the game suspended. Why? Because the aforementioned whiny b*tch(es) in question had gone to court to question the eligibility of 16-year-old named Dalton Dyer, a kid who has been in foster care his entire life, and has moved repeatedly under court order, and is now living with an aunt in the town of Auburn after living in Oakland until sixth grade, then, then in a foster home in Vallejo before the move to Auburn. After the most recent move, Dyer enrolled as a junior in Placer High School. He became one of the team’s stars, playing defensive back, and in the process drawing the attention of another school in the area which noticed he had been listed as a transfer student, called the Sac-Joaquin section of the California Interscholastic Federation and asked whether he was eligible to play. CIF Commissioner Pete Saco looked at Dyer's move to Auburn in August and determined that it was not a "valid change of residence," which the rules define as the movement of a student and his or her full immediate family, and all their possessions, from one residence to another. Because Dyer was a foster child, Saco ruled, Placer High should have filed the paperwork for a "hardship" transfer. Ignoring the spirit of the law and the use of common sense, the CIF ruled that because Dyer was ineligible in the five games he had played his team must forfeit those five games, three of which it had won, including two league games. Had the CIF ruled the right way to begin with, Placer would have been in the playoffs and either Colfax or Oakdale would not be. Unfortunately (but predictably), a governing body did the wrong thing and Placer had to go to court to fight for what should have rightfully belonged to it - a playoff spot. Now, three groups of kids have their fate up in the air, to be decided by a judge in a courtroom instead of on the field.

- So is it a problem if the man charged with shutting down the drug trade in your country is taking nearly half a million dollars in bribes each month from drug traffickers? I never can tell with these sorts of shades-of-gray situations, one where there is no clear-cut right or wrong. It’s hard to figure out what the right thing is in a case like the one involving Noe Ramirez Mandujano, Mexico’s former drug czar who is the man accused of taking those bribes. Mandujano has been detained on suspicion that he may have accepted $450,000 a month in bribes from drug traffickers from 2006 until this August until he left the post this year. Among the accusations being thrown around are that Ramirez met with members of a drug cartel while he was in office and agreed to provide information on investigations in exchange for bribes. So what you’re saying, Mexican authorities, is that doing those things is wrong? Okay, I guess if that’s how you want to see it. Mandujano’s arrest is part of an ongoing investigation called "Operation Limpieza," or "Operation Cleanup," which targets officials who may have passed information to drug cartels. And Mandujano is far from the only high-ranking official arrested this week, with Ricardo Gutierrez Vargas, the director for International Police Affairs at Mexico's Federal Investigative Agency and the head of Mexico's Interpol office, arrested at his home four days prior. All told, more than 30 officials have been arrested since July in connection with the anti-corruption operation and Interpol is sending a team of investigators to Mexico to investigate the possibility that its communications systems and databases may have been compromised. What I’m worried about is that these arrests are going to make it harder for my favorite illegal narcotics to make their way from Mexico in the United States and will thus drive up the price of those drugs. After all, drug trafficking in Mexico is a $20 billion- to $50 billion-a-year industry, so a lot of the drugs coming our way in the U.S. flow through our neighbors to the south. So help me, if the price of coke, crystal meth, LSD, weed, etc., go sky high, I am going to be very upset with you, Mexico. These drug cartels are paying good money to Mexican officials to keep their businesses running - bribes of $150,000 to $450,000 a month - and with good reason: people want their drugs. I don’t see how you don’t understand this…..

- Fire up your “Pacman Jones Lifetime NFL Ban” polls, everyone! Now that the IQ-deprived, grammar-killing criminal cornerback is on his way back to active duty for the Dallas Cowboys following a six-game suspension for his latest brush with the law. This time, he returns with what looks to be a full warning from the NFL that this is his absolute last chance. According to multiple media outlets, Pacman was informed that he must strictly adhere to the terms of his reinstatement and any missteps will lead to a lifetime ban from the league. For the time being, Commissioner Roger Goodell has reinstated Jones based on the recommendations of clinical specialists who oversaw Jones' 30 days in a rehab facility. Six games off might have been tough for Pacman, but it’s nowhere near the punishment he received when he was suspended for the entire 2007 season because of multiple incidents while with the Tennessee Titans. Never one to be bothered with learning from his mistakes (and when you’ve had run-ins with the cops and/or arrests totaling 12 or more, you have a lot to learn from), Jones made use of his fresh start by getting into an alcohol-related scuffle with one of his own team-provided bodyguards during a private party at an upscale Dallas hotel on Oct. 7.
A week after the incident, Goodell suspended Jones indefinitely. That indefinite length got definition when Goodell reinstated Jones this week and made him eligible to play Dec. 7 at Pittsburgh. By the time Jones returns to the field, he will have missed 22 of 28 games since the end of the 2006 season because of suspensions. In other words, fill out those pool sheets, break out your calendars and try to predict when the Pacman train will go off the tracks again. Personally, I have Feb. 3, 2009, shortly after the Cowboys’ season ends with another disappointing playoff clunker and Pacman is looking to blow off a little steam. But maybe I’m being too optimistic and should pick a date much sooner. Make your own call…….

- The in-vogue thing at the moment in the judicial system seems to be forcing “punk” kids who violate local noise ordinances to listen to crappy, boring music as punishment. It happened to a college student in Marietta, Ohio last month and now it’s happening to four high schoolers in Fort Lupton, Colorado who are collectively known as the rock band Revolving Reverence. The bandmates were among approximately 16 residents violating the town's noise ordinance, according to Fort Lupton Police, and as punishment they were sentenced to sit in a room for an hour and listen to everything from Barry Manilow to Barney the Dinosaur. For these four freshman, the ordeal was every bit as harrowing as it would be for someone like me to be punished by having to listen to hacks like Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Fergie and Cher for an hour. “You can't fall asleep,” said Rueben Fuentes, a member of Revolving Reverence, of the punishment. The oh, so clever legal mind behind the punishment is Judge Paul Sacco, who probably saw another judge try the same stunt and rather than try something new, recycled a lame trick. “These people should have to listen to music they don't like,” declared Sacco. All of this because these kids, trying to build a musical career and a rep as a legit band, played a set in the back yard at band member's father's house? Yes, they played at a house party and according to the band, those who attended had a great time. “People who were at the party loved it,” stated band member Robert Mort. “But the cop station was two blocks away. I'm not sure the cops did.” I’d say no, because the cops issued each band member a ticket for violating the town's noise ordinance. Judge Sacco was the one who sentenced them to Barry Manilow, and from the sounds of it, this knob probably has Manilow’s entire catalog as part of his music collection. “I actually don't think Manilow's too bad,” he said. That’s because you’re a moron, judge. But props on showing zero originality and a sad excuse for a sentence of humor in handling this case and others like it in your town…..

- Whew, that was a close call. Nothing like going on an expensive vacation to a warm, tropical climate and ending up in prison, so Michelle Palmer and Vincent Acors really dodged a bullet. The couple was arrested shortly after midnight on July 5 in Dubai, United Arab Emirates for - well, for hitting it on a public beach. The couple had faced a three-month sentence after being charged with illicit relations, public indecency, and public intoxication. They were arrested on a public beach after police found them in, well, a compromising position. At the time, they also appeared to be intoxicated, which tacked on an additional charge. Both Palmer and Acors denied they actually sexed it up on that beach, and either the judge in their case showed them mercy despite a conviction on the charge, suspending their prison sentences. They didn’t escape judgment entirely, as a court found them guilty in October and fined them 1,000 dirhams ($367) for the charge of public indecency. All of this is ironic because the United Arab Emirates, where Dubai is located, is among the most moderate Gulf states. To be honest, it sounds like the couple made their case on semantics, as they may not have actually had sex, but were likely on their way to doing so. In other words, the cops busted them before they could make it all the way around the bases. But maybe the police just didn’t want to see the whole show, so they intervened before it reached its apex. Perhaps next time they should just wait for the offending couple to finish, eh Acors and Palmer? How about this: if you want to have sex, don’t do it anywhere that you would openly welcome the general public to - beaches, airplanes, stores, the street, church, sporting events, etc. It’ll be better for you and for the rest of us…..

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