Wednesday, November 26, 2008

A Heroes recap. a random piano in the woods and why some Notre Dame students absolutely suck

- You suck, Notre Dame students. Well, not all of you, just the classless a-holes who pelted Notre Dame football players with snowballs during their 24-23 loss to Syracuse on Saturday. On Friday, nearly 10 inches of snow fell on South Bend, but there was no snow falling on game day. Thus, the stands and field were clear, but there was snow along the edges of the field. The snowball throwing had its genesis when a few people started by throwing the snow in the air, which seemed innocent enough. But then the underdogs from Syracuse began taking control of the game, so ass clowns sitting in the student section decided that the best way to voice their displeasure was pelting their own players with snowballs. One of the first victims of a snowball hit was defensive lineman Ian Williams, who thankfully got hit in the helmet, one place where significant damage is nearly impossible. However, defensive end Ethan Johnson wasn’t so fortunate, getting hit on the left cheek. Additionally, a St. Joseph County police officer on the sideline looking into the crowd got hit in the chest by some tool with either really bad aim or a serious dislike of law enforcement. On top of that, an NBC camera man also was a frequent target and several snowballs reached the field, showing that there was a lot of anger mixed with a lot of alcohol, multiplied by a lot of stupidity, in Notre Dame Stadium on Saturday. Pardon me for intruding on the fun, but what the frak did the NBC cameraman do to you? Were you pissed at him for helping broadcast your team’s ineptitude to a worldwide audience? At one point during the game, as the Irish defense held a meeting on the sideline, injured linebacker Brian Smith finally had enough and stood on a bench to try to shield his teammates. Even that wasn’t enough to stop the crowd for acting like total pieces of crap, as another came flying and hit defensive tackle Pat Kuntz. It was at that point Smith stood and faced the crowd and appeared to challenge whoever threw it to come down on the field. In the aftermath, at least one fan was seen being led away by police, but here’s hoping a lot more end up facing punishment for totally indefensible, moronic and classless actions that ruined what should have been a normal day at the stadium…..

- Times are so tough for the floundering American economy that even earnings luminaries like Tiger Woods are taking a hit. Granted, the hit Woods is taking will barely faze him and would at the same time cripple 98 percent of Americans, but even so. This news comes courtesy of the struggling U.S. auto industry, with General Motors Corp. announcing Monday that it is ending its nine-year endorsement deal with Woods as it continues cutting expenses and seeking hoard cash (may I suggest not having your CEO fly a private jet to Washington to ask for a taxpayer-financed bail out? Just a thought). GM is attempting to survive the worst sales downturn in a quarter-century. Also, in trying to deflect some of the attention from the fact that it is a sickly, wounded financial animal on the verge of extinction, the automaker also cited Woods’ desire for more personal time as he expects his second child as a reason for the dissolution of their partnership. As part of the relationship, Woods has endorsed GM products around the world and appeared in Buick commercials, as well as carrying the Buick logo on his golf bag since 2000. So there goes at least $7 million a year for Tiger, which I’m sure he’ll miss when he can’t afford the luxury package on his ninth Jaguar in a couple years. I’m no economist, so I can’t say how this development will affect GM’s sales, although even the most casual observer could conclude that it couldn’t possibly make them worse. When a company spends nearly $7 billion more than it took in during the most recent financial quarter and has issued warnings that, without federal help, it may reach the minimum amount of cash required to run the company by the end of the year, there isn’t much farther to fall. On a side note, Woods’ fellow PGA golfers will have to start looking elsewhere for their rides at Tour events, because Buick said last week that it would be cutting back on its deal providing courtesy cars at such events. Well, if anyone can survive that kind of hardship, it’s a tough, grizzled group like professional golfers…..

- This is one of those rare occasions where someone not living up to their end of a deal was a very, very good thing. Normally, welching on a contract is bad form, shows a lack of character and integrity and is something to be avoided at all costs. However, when the contract in question involves the King of Pedophiles, Michael Jackson, and was supposed to end with him producing more of that assault on the ears he calls music, I feel safe in saying that him backing out of the deal is a great thing. Not agreeing with me on this is Sheikh Abdullah, a multi-millionaire Bahraini royal who claims Whacko Jack-O failed to honor a business deal worth $7 million. The Sheikh filed suit against the KOP in London’s High Court to recoup his lost money, but the two have instead agreed to a settlement that will “amicably settle their dispute which was in litigation before the in. They wish each other well in their own, respective endeavors,” according to a joint statement by their legal teams. In his lawsuit, the sheikh accused Jackson of reneging on a contract for a new album and an autobiography -- a deal that he says included a $7 million advance. At this point, I feel the need to step in and give the sheikh a bit of advice. As I said before, no one needs any more of the abortion that is Jack-O’s music, it’s pop garbage from a man who is a walking gimmick and who is the most overrated artist in the history of music. Jack-O has ridden one gimmick after another, whether it’s the novelty of going from a black dude to a white woman, the whole “singing family” gig with his brothers, the one-glove shtick or any other his other novelties, to a career that is esteemed far, far more highly than it ought to be. Second, an autobiography? Do you really want to foist a tome filled with tales of sexual abuse on young boys, statutory rape (allegedly), an adult man living in a giant amusement park and all of Jack-O’s other freakery on the world? If you really want to do something good, pay him $7 million to never tell anyone about his freaky, twisted life. So I don’t need to know the details of the settlement, which will supposedly remain secret under one of the conditions of the agreement. All I need to know is that this new album from Jack-O is not forthcoming and neither is his autobiography. Still, it is an odd way to repay a man who allegedly
bailed you out of a financial hole following an expensive acquittal on child molestation charges in 2005, paying the $2.2 million you owed legal fees and hosting you in his home in Bahrain, turning around and reneging on a contract. In the end, I guess this gives us all something to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, that these two new projects from the KOP won't be heading our way…..

- Heroes asked an interesting question Monday night: what would a day be like with no heroes, or more specifically, heroes without their superpowers. The impending solar eclipse had everyone scurrying, even the mighty Arthur Petrelli, who mused that he was learning that some things are beyond even his control. That doesn’t stop him from demanding that his own scientific muscle, Dr. Mohinder Suresh, find a way to explain and cope with the effects of the eclipse. Those effects are basically that everyone with powers loses them. For Peter and Nathan Petrelli, that complicated a day that begins with them flying down to Haiti to retrieve the mysterious Haitian, the man whose power allows him to block others from using their own powers. He is in Haiti to capture his brother, a Level 5 escapee with the power of impenetrable skin. Retrieving the Haitian is part of Angela Petrelli’s plan to take out Arthur, so Nathan flies down to Haiti and when Peter demands to come along, Nathan takes him as well. They are over a swamp in Haiti when the eclipse happens and strips Nathan of his power to fly. The two men crash into the swamp, then are forced to hike to the Haitian’s village. Along the way, they get lost because Nathan won’t listen to Peter’s navigation, but on their way back from getting lost, they do find the Haitian, except that the reunion is short-lived because the Haitian’s brother ambushes them. Peter and the Haitian manage to hide, but Nathan is captured by the Haitian’s brother, who informs him that Arthur had already told him that Nathan would be coming there. Back in the U.S., a second part of Angela’s plan called for hiding Claire Bennet so Arthur couldn’t find her. Because Claire’s blood contains the catalyst that Arthur needs to complete his formula that could give powers to everyone on Earth, keeping Claire away from him is paramount. To that end, Angela sends her off with her father, the man known as H.R.G., to Costa Verde, California. There, father and daughter took up residence in a safe house that was also the former residence of Steven Canfield, a man with the power to create and cast people into black holes, whom Claire tried to capture earlier in the season and who ultimately did away with himself by casting himself into his own black hole. Holed up in the safe house, H.R.G. went about helping Claire learn to fight, as she had asked to learn before, by having her swing 2x4’s and express her frustrations over him not being there for her growing up. The bonding session was going just fine until Elle and Sylar, two members of Arthur’s team at Pinehearst Industries, show up in town to find Claire. Elle is also trying to challenge Sylar to be his own man and stop allowing other to manipulate him, but their trip hits a bump when they arrive at the safe house to take Claire and realize that their powers are gone. A fight ensues and H.R.G. pulls his gun, but it gets knocked from his hand. He goes on fighting Sylar, but Elle grabs the gun and shoots at H.R.G., who is saved when Claire dives in front of him and takes the bullet. But with her powers gone, she can’t heal. H.R.G. rushes her home and tells his wife Sandra not to call 911 because that would mean a record of the shooting would be made and then when Claire’s ability to heal returned, they would have to explain that as well. Instead, H.R.G. does a little in-home medical treatment and stops the bleeding, then leaves to “finish something,” which turns out to be going back to shoot Elle and Sylar. H.R.G finds them still at the safe house, kissing, and he readies his gun from across the street, but the episode ends without him firing a shot yet. The loss of powers also hits hard for Matt Parkman, who along with lady friend Daphne Millbrook is trying to figure out how to follow the part of Angela’s plan that calls for them to track down Hiro Nakamura and use his time travel powers to help their cause. However, just as the two wonder how to find Hiro, he and his pal Ando knock on Parkman’s apartment door. That solves one problem, but another arises when Hiro turns out to still be stuck in believing that he is 10 years old, as he has thought ever since his encounter with Arthur Petrelli in Africa. Getting Hiro to realize that he’s not 10 is an impossible task for Parkman, who can’t understand and thus change the thoughts inside Hiro’s head because they are in Japanese. Parkman’s power to control people’s mind is useless if he can't understand their thoughts, so help comes from a familiar source for Hiro: the comic book starring him that also predicts the future. Using the most recent issue, they learn that they need to go to Lawrence, Kansas. At the same time, things are breaking down between Matt and Daphne because Daphne feels guilty about working with Arthur and against Matt before joining the good guys last episode, and also because she worries Parkman doesn’t trust her. Using her super speed, Daphne runs away and back to her childhood home - in Lawrence, Kansas. Hiro is able to teleport he, Parkman and Ando there, but as they approach the farmhouse where Daphne’s family lives, the eclipse is hitting and taking away their powers. Without the powers, Parkman can’t read or manipulate the thoughts of people, namely Daphne’s father, who answers the door. She refuses to see Parkman, but at Hiro’s urging, they stick around and Matt tries to talk to Daphne again. He gets inside the house this time, but is stunned to find that without her powers, Daphne is actually partially crippled and can only walk with the aid of full leg braces/crutches. Meanwhile, Hiro and Ando have wandered into downtown Lawrence, where they find a comic book shop and search for the new episode of the comic book starring Hiro, which is due out that day. The cover of the issue shows Hiro and Ando inside the comic book store they now stand in, a fact not lost on the owners of the shop. Now, they have to read the pages and find out what comes next. About the only person happy about the eclipse is Mohinder Suresh, who tried to give himself powers using an imperfect version of the formula Arthur is now working to assemble and has suffered horrible side effects, including scales and tendencies resembling those of an insect. Mohinder fears he will die or become a monster, but the eclipse takes away his powers as well (following a stay in one of the creepy, slimy cocoons he was imprisoning people in earlier in the season) and for the time being, he is back to normal, no side effects and no powers. Learning this, he is about to go see Maya, the girl he loves who was horrified at his transformation into a megalomaniacal insect man and left him after having her own powers removed. But Arthur and Flint, the man with the power to throw blue-hot flames from his body, confront Mohinder and tell him that he is going nowhere until he finds a way to reverse the effects of the eclipse. Also needing a reversal of those effects is Claire Bennet, who starts to bleed out after H.R.G leaves to go kill Sylar and Elle. Sandra finds Claire unconscious and bleeding heavily in her room, leaving Claire’s fate up in the air just like everyone else’s. This was about all for Part 1 of a two-part episode, to be concluded next week, so be sure to tune in for that because this season of Heroes is getting better and better….

- Welcome to Harwich, Massachusetts, where even the woods are a musical place. Granted, police there are still trying to figure out whether the mysterious appearance of a fully functioning, perfect-condition Baldwin Acrosonic piano, model number 987 in the middle of the woods is a prank, the result of a theft gone awry or some other bizarre scenario, but the sight of that piano just sitting there, in great condition, alongside trees, fallen leaves and other trappings of nature, was pretty freaking funny. So far, police aren’t sure what to make of the mysteriously placed piano and a probe of the instrument’s appearance in the woods is ongoing. It would be one thing if it were an old junker that someone wanted to get rid of, but even then….dumping it in the middle of the woods? The kicker is that it’s in good win the area and accompanied by a nearby piano bench, positioned as though someone was about to sit down and play. The piano’s serial number is 733746, which might help in tracking down the owner. Honestly….this looks like a prank, and a pretty funny one. If nothing else, it was humorous to make nearly a half-dozen police officers hike out into the woods in the cold and help move the piano into a vehicle to transport it to storage. We may never know the identity of those who released the piano out into the wild, but whoever you are, well done……

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