- I always applaud dudes trying to be responsible about sex and practice safe sex, but you have to go about it the right way. And in case you’re not clear on what the right way is, it would be pretty much the opposite of what Binghamton University men’s basketball player Malik Alvin has been up to. Alvin has been suspended by the university after being arrested on charges of assault and shoplifting following an incident in which police allege that he tole a box of condoms from an upstate New York Wal-Mart and when he was confronted by security guards, attempted to flee and collided with a 66-year-old customer, knocking her to the floor. The incident took place the Wal-Mart in Vestal, N.Y., where Alvin tried to take a box of 36 condoms without paying for them. Uh oh, that’s not good. Nor is the fact that as he tried to run from the store, Alvin knocked over an elderly woman who suffered a concussion from the collision. While suspended from the basketball team. Alvin remains free pending further court action. Like I said, Malik, I appreciate the effort to practice safe sex, and I’m sure your special lady friend appreciates it as well. That being said, my man, next time just take a walk down to the student health center on campus and they have a jar with condoms for free. They want you to take them; actually, they encourage it. No one will try to stop you, no one will arrest you and then everyone won't hear about you being a thief and assaulter of the elderly. I’m here to help, amigo, so if you have any other questions, just ask…..
- A melancholy happy trails to Mitch Mitchell, the former drummer for Jimi Hendrix, who was found dead in a downtown Portland, Oregon hotel Wednesday. Mitchell, drummer for the Jimi Hendrix Experience, provided the beat for Hendrix for the generation-defining, revolutionary sounds of his electrified psychedelic blues, the soundtrack for the hippie movement and the standout memory for many from Woodstock. Along with bass players Noel Redding and Billy Cox, Mitchell and The Experience played behind Hendrix at Woodstock and the Isle of Wight festivals in the late 1960s. Sadly, their time together was cut far too short when Hendrix died of a drug overdose in 1970. Redding passed away in 2003, meaning that nearly all of an act that helped redefine music, specifically rock music, is gone. Amazingly for someone who lived the rock and roll lifestyle and was around as much drugs and alcohol as Mitchell had to have been around during his career, the Multnomah County Medical Examiner’s office said Mitchell likely died of natural causes. His body was found just after 3 a.m. at the Benson Hotel, where he was staying after the Experience Hendrix tour that made a stop in Portland at the Schnitz last Friday. So thoughts and prayers to the Mitchell family, Mitch Mitchell brought a lot to the music world and he’ll be missed…..
- Just because our incoming president is smart enough to realize that college football needs a playoff system doesn’t mean the ass hats at the Bowl Championship Series will capitulate to that request. Looking to reject President-elect Barack Obama's recent call for an eight-team national college football playoff is Oregon president David Frohnmayer, chair of the BCS Presidential Oversight Committee. “We deeply respect the president-elect and we are glad that he is a fan of college football,” Frohnmayer said in an e-mail. “We have the most compelling regular season in all of sports, and I'm sure that contributes to Senator Obama's enjoyment of our great game.” Let me translate that for you: We are a greedy, selfish, pompous, self-centered group of rich guys who aren’t going to change a system that is making us boatloads of cash for anything short of an act of God - and we’d probably tell God to take a hike too. Well, Pompous Ass Frohnmayer, here’s how I hope it goes down. Right after he brings a swift end to the war in Iraq, I hope President Obama is coming for your sorry ass. I hope he crams his playoff plan right down your ignorant, greedy throats. You may oppose a playoff system, as might fellow committee members such as Rev. John Jenkins (Notre Dame), Robert Khayat (Ole Miss), Mark Nordenberg (Pittsburgh), John Peters (Northern Illinois), Harvey Perlman (Nebraska), Graham Spanier (Penn State) and Charles Steger (Virginia Tech), but I’ll take the president over you jokers any day. “My colleagues and I on the BCS Presidential Oversight Committee have discussed the future of postseason football on many occasions and we do not believe a playoff would be in the best interest of the sport, the student-athletes or our many other constituencies,” Frohnmayer said. No Don, you believe it wouldn’t be in YOUR best interests, so f**k you. You’re wrong, everyone knows you’re wrong and Obama said as much during last week's Monday Night Football broadcast. ‘I think it's about time we had playoffs in college football. I'm fed up with these computer rankings and this that and the other. Get eight teams -- the top eight teams right at the end. You got a playoff. Decide on a national champion.” I’m liking this new president better than the last one and he hasn’t even taken office yet….good times……
- What the frak are you doing, America? Or more specifically, what the heck are you watching? Stunningly (and sadly), the answer, at least for the week of Oct. 3-9, is overwhelmingly the geezer-laden snooze-fest known as 60 Minutes. The news magazine remains unwatchable mostly because of that crotchety, irritating, stuck-in-the-1940s codger Andy Rooney and his idiotic musings about how the world was better when he was young, back in the Stone Age, and who can’t understand why the world has changed in the past 50 years. Well, unwatchable for anyone with any sort of taste in entertainment and under the age of 60. It hasn’t
topped the weekly ratings in a long time, with good reason. So why the big ratings bump this week? Well, it definitely helped to have a high-profile NFL game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Indianapolis Colts as a lead-in. That was enough to allow 60 to beat out regular favorite CSI (No. 2). Also rating high, as you’d expect, was coverage of last Tuesday's presidential election. The winner for election coverage was ABC, whose coverage rolled in at No. 10 for the week overall, with 13.2 million viewers. The network’s Vote 2008 easily bettered NBC (12.5 million), CBS (7.4 million), and Fox (4.7 million). But cable also did well, especially CNN, which sure paid enough talking heads to all be on its set at the same time. An estimated 12.3 million viewers tuned in to their coverage, so elections rate high with viewers, we might want to have a few more of those to boost ratings if possible. Other notables in the weekly ratings were:
7) Grey's Anatomy (15.7 million), 15) Survivor: Gabon (12.0 million), 17) The Amazing Race (11.7 million). Not surprisingly, the best shows weren’t on the list, either because they took a week off or because most TV viewers are morons, so Smallville, Prison Break, Heroes and Chuck didn’t crack the top 20……
- Big news, everyone! Cleveland Browns coach Romeo Crennel is offended! Yes, the cherubic, inept coach of the most underachieving team in the entire National Football League takes offense to comments by some of his players that teammates quit in last week's loss to Denver. Those comments, voiced first by Browns running back Jamal Lewis, who accused some unnamed players of quitting, drew the ire of the head coach. Crennel said he didn't think his players quit and any perception that they did was a poor reflection on him. Well, my man, no and yes. No, you are wrong if you think no players quit. No way a team plays that poorly if everyone is actually trying. Your guys allowed the Broncos to score 21 points in the fourth quarter for a 34-30 win on Thursday that basically ended the Browns’ season. Lewis' comments were supported earlier this week by return specialist Joshua Cribbs, but not by the coach. Well, allow me to tell you something, Romeo. You may take offense to your players saying that some of their teammates quit, but I take offense to you consistently appearing like you could be outwitted and out-coached by a cinder block during games, R. I take offense to you being 3-6 with a roster filled with more talent than two-thirds of the teams in the league. I take offense to a general lack of discipline and heart from your team and to the fact that even the most rudimentary strategic decisions in games seem to befuddle you. In short, I take offense to you being both a moron and a bad NFL coach. So stop whining about what players say and make sure that they don’t have a chance to say those things in the future because you make sure that no one quits and if they do, they are no longer a member of the team. Then again, maybe you don’t need to worry so much about that, what with you being fired at the end of the season once the team finishes 4-12 or 5-11…..so only seven games left to suffer through with your incompetent arse on the sidelines in Cleveland……
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