- To serve, protect…..and hit it while on the clock? That must be the new motto of police in Fort Oglethorpe, Tennessee. If nothing else, it’s the unofficial motto of one particular Fort Oglethorpe police officer. This unidentified officer was on duty when a surveillance camera at Keith Heating and Air in Walker caught him in what appears to be a little afternoon delight with a woman he took behind the building with him. The surveillance video from 1:06 Saturday afternoon shows a Fort Oglethorpe police car pull up to the back of the building, followed by another car. In short order, the officer gets out of his patrol car and a woman gets out the second car. The two walk over to each other and kiss, then get into the car and get their freak on before a Keith Heating and Air truck interrupts their tryst four minutes later. As the truck, driven by Robert Uhrmann pulls in, the video shows the couple reappearing and the woman is pulling up her pants while the officer is fixing his uniform. Hmm….wonder what they were doing in that car? Well, Robert Uhrmann was wondering the same thing, because he asked the officer what he was doing behind the building, which is out of his jurisdiction. The answer was a lie, a really bad one at that. “He told me that there was some kids that had been going around stealing purses,” Uhrmann says. “He told me they had found her purse laying back down behind the shop.” What, was the purse shoved down the woman’s pants? Were you looking for it inside her shirt? Oddly enough, Uhrmann didn't buy the excuse either, so he checked out the footage from the shop’s surveillance system. The owners of the shop purchased the cameras about a year ago to combat a rash of thefts, and since the cameas are motion-sensitive, an activity like, um, sex in the back of a car by an off-duty cop, would trigger them. Fort Oglethorpe Chief of Police David Eubanks was shown a copy of the video and he didn’t seem too pleased. “It certainly looks like something is going on that doesn't need to be going on and I can assure you that I'm as surprised about that as anybody,” Eubanks says. He added that there's no doubt that the car is a Fort Oglethorpe patrol car, and based on the time stamp on the video, whoever was driving the car was on duty. By the end of the day Monday, the officer who appeared in the back-alley porno had been identified and tendered his letter of resignation, effective immediately. Probably a good idea, amigo……
- You may or may not like their colorful, eletroic, holiday-themed music and concerts, but here’s something we can all love about the Trans Siberian Orchestra. While spending time in Omaha, Nebraska, a group of musicians from TSO’s traveling show spent quite a few nights eating at Sullivan’s Restaurant at 15th and Douglas streets. According to the restaurant’s staff, they waited on the same group almost every night for three weeks. Each night, the group tipped well and was affable to their servers, but nothing about them jumped out. Well, at least until the final night of their stint in Omaha, after which the group of musicians left the staff a generous tip of more than $10,000. No word on how many servers split the tip, but big props to the TSO for making a really nice gesture to a group of people who undoubtedly deal with a lot of a-holes and cheap tippers in the course of the average work day. Fact is, if you are like these musicians and have the means and opportunity to do something that generous that will benefit people who very much need it, you should absolutely make the effort. There are far too many jerks in the world and far too many things in life that beat you down and not nearly enough people and developments to pick you up and encourage you. So whether you have a Trans Siberian Orchestra album in your car or iPod or not, now you’ll have something very positive to remember about them any time you hear their name……
- Boy, 150 wins sure don’t buy you the same goodwill they used to. Despite having a 150-51 record in his 17 seasons as the head football coach at the University of Tennessee and bringing the school its first national championship in 47 years back in 1998, Phillip Fulmer will not be returning as the team’s coach in 2009. The move was officially announced Monday at Neyland Stadium, coming after a 3-6 start to the 2008 season that has turned to normal chorus of fans calling for Fulmer’s firing into a full-fledged uproar. Thus, in spite of those 150 games at his alma mater and status as the longest-tenured coach in the SEC, Fulmer is out after losing 5 of 6 conference games and all but assuring that his team will miss out on a bowl berth this season. Fulmer met with Tennessee officials Monday morning and the two parties reached a mutual agreement that he will not return next season. If UT can’t win out, which seems all but impossible at this point, it will be the program’s second losing season in the last four years, something that just won't fly at a school like Tennessee.” Anybody that likes Tennessee and cares about what the product looks like on the field is frustrated,” Fulmer said Sunday night. He also allegedly told his coaches in a Sunday meeting to shield the players from their frustration, which seems more like wishful thinking than anything else. There is no escaping that frustration, whether you are a player, a coach, a secretary in the football office or a janitor at the stadium. The goodwill from that national title isn’t enough to last ten years, not when you’ve lost 31 games since the end of the 2001 season at a football-crazed school in arguably the nation’s premier football conference. It’s sad to see a good coach and good guy like Phil Fulmer stumble so badly, but the fact is that the bottom line is where the program is right now in terms of performance and not how many wins its coach has in the past……
- Bad news for all of the women ages 18 to 49 out there….well, probably about 75 percent of you, which I would guess is a pretty accurate guess when it comes to the demographics watching ABC’s hit drama Grey's Anatomy. Personally, I tried it once and was underwhelmed, but I suppose it’s better than a lot of the crap on TV right now….but I digress. Word has come down that the show will be losing one of its blond, beautiful, outspoken female docs – just not the one you would miss the most, Katherine Heigl. There would probably be a riot if Heigl left the show, but she will remain and it will be Brooke Smith, a.k.a. Dr. Erica Hahn. Her major claim to fame on the show recently has been as one half of Grey's first-ever significant homosexual couple. The decision to axe Smith came not from show creator and EP Shonda Rhimes, but an order that came down from the suits at the network. Allegedly, the suits “had issues” with both the explicit direction the lesbian couple on the show was taking from a sexual standpoint, and also with Smith’s character in general. So for those who have been invested in this particular storyline, prepare to see it cut off sooner rather than later and without a ton of fanfare. But don’t worry, Grey’s fans, there will still be plenty of hot, dreamy docs and emergency room romances to obsess over and plenty of drama to keep things rolling…..
- Yeah, this isn’t what I would call good parenting. Fact is, I’m not a parent yet, but I don’t need to be to say with confidence that two Union County, South Carolina women are bad mothers given their recent actions. Gale Lindeman, 26, and Mikicia Byrd, 25 seem to be under the mistaken impression that leaving five children - ages 8 to 1 - home alone while they go to a party in another town is acceptable. Police have a different idea, bringing child neglect charges after these two brain-dead idiots left their five young children alone so they could have a night out. Just to let you know, ladies, we have some great innovations now in child care, they are called babysitters and for just $10 an hour or so, you can have them care for your children for the night. Hire one of them and you won't find yourself arrested and charged with unlawful conduct toward a child. Because I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but children under the age of 8 don’t tend to be able to care for themselves and 1-year-olds most definitely cannot feed themselves, go to the bathroom on their own or do anything for themselves other than breathe. Either you are the two biggest morons in the world or you are way, way too focused on partying, because there is no way any mildly competent person with an IQ over 50 would seriously think that what you did was a good idea. Here’s the bottom line, ladies: if you don’t want to take care of kids or be burdened with them, don’t have them. If you do have kids, you either need to give them up for adoption or, if you choose to keep them, you need to make sure they are properly cared for AT ALL TIMES. That doesn’t appear to be what these two ladies did, as on the night of October 18th, an officer was called to Rose Hill Garden Apartments at 11:15pm for a separate incident and while there, he found the women's five children had been left alone. When the officer asked a 7-year old girl in the apartment why she and her siblings were alone, she told the officer her mother had left around 8:00 p.m. to go to a party in Spartanburg. That left this girl with her younger siblings, ages 3 and 1, and two other children, ages 8 and 4. When Lindeman's mother came home 30 minutes later, she told the officer she thought her daughter was watching the children and when Linderman was called, she said that she thought her mother was watching the children. A likely story, ladies. Here’s another helpful parenting tip for you: regardless of who you think is watching your kids, you don’t leave home until you are sure that someone is physically present to care for them. If that person isn’t in the apartment physically, you don’t leave. And your story would be easier to believe if not for the fact that Byrd's daughter told the officer her mother had left them alone several times - whoops! On second thought, keep this up, both of you, because if you do it enough times, your kids will be taken from you and placed in the care of people who will almost certainly be more qualified to care for children than you two tools are…..
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