Saturday, November 15, 2008

Idiots engage in dogfighting in Houston, Somali pirates do their thing and I'm a fan of anything that stops Hilary Duff from making music

- Never mind that they are currently 5-4 and tied for last place in the NFC East, the Dallas Cowboys will make the playoffs this season, guaranteed. But it’s not me making that guarantee; Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is the one throwing down the gauntlet. “I certainly do feel we're going to be a team that plays well enough to be thinking about the playoffs,” Jones declared. Maybe Jones has reason to be confident, with injured quarterback Tony Romo back Sunday night at Washington after missing three games with a broken pinkie on his throwing hand. That being said, Romo returning won't fix a busted Dallas defense that has given up an average of 27 points a game in its past four outings. The Cowboys may lost two of three without Romo, but the truth is that they were already struggling when he broke his finger on the opening play of overtime in a loss at Arizona on Oct. 12. Head coach Wade Phillips, a purported defensive guru, is all but assured of being fired as season’s end despite direct assurances from Jones that his job is safe. Jones is paying offensive coordinator Jason Garrett more than most head coaches make and Garrett is the coach-in-waiting, so Phillips is going to get the axe unless a miracle turnaround occuers. Asked if he was satisfied with Phillips' performance this season, Jones said he was disappointed that the Cowboys haven't won more games and that it was fair to ask if the coach was to blame. This team has been a total train wreck, from the injuries to the debacle that has been Pacman Jones’ tenure with the team. Pacman was suspended indefinitely last month for violating the league's personal conduct policy, a mere six weeks after being reinstated from a 17-month suspension because of repeated legal problems. The most recent suspension came after the cornerback was involved in an alcohol-related scuffle Oct. 7 with one of his own team-employed bodyguards at a private party in Dallas. On top of all of this, the team has temperamental wide receiver Terrell Owens starting up his usual discontented act again, saying the team needs to return to its offensive strategy of last season, when he was moved around on the field more and thrown to more. But sure, they’re going to overcome all of that and make the playoffs…..

- Adios, Lizzie McGuire, hello primetime NBC. Hilary Duff might make some of the most bubble-gum, crap-tacular pop music imaginable, but that isn’t stopping NBC from signing the pop princess to an exclusive, one-year talent and development contract to star in her own series as well as guest-star in current NBC shows. “Hilary is an incredibly versatile talent with a huge following whose career we know will continue to soar on NBC,” said Teri Weinberg, Executive Vice President, NBC Entertainment. “We are confident we will develop great ideas that would feature her vast talents and are thrilled to have this opportunity.” Yeah, whatever NBC. As long as she’s acting and not making that garbage she calls music, I’m cool with it. Duff has been in the acting game since 2001 with her starring role in Disney Channel's top-rated animated/live action series Lizzie McGuire, so she does have a clue what she’s doing. She has also starred in films such as The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Agent Cody Banks, Raise Your Voice and Cheaper by the Dozen. Her most recent role was in this year's War, Inc. and her upcoming films already in the can include Safety Glass, Stay Cool and Greta. Keep up the acting, work on it, devote all of your time to it, Hil, and don’t even worry about music at this point….or ever again. Trust me, that’s the way to go and it’s best for all of us….

- Way to be, Somali pirates! These guys are the scourge of the high seas, the bane of every law enforcement and government entity in sight and yet there they are, doing their thing amidst all of the persecution. This time, a group of these warriors of the seas is holding the crew of a Chinese fishing vessel, hours after hijacking the ship in the fourth reported pirate attack in the region this week. According to reports, they have custody of all 24 crew members on the ship after seizing it late Thursday in the Indian Ocean off the coast of Kenya. The vessel was then taken to the Somali port city of Kismayo, near the Kenyan border. The other recent attacks in the region have taken place in the Gulf of Aden, off northern Somalia's coast, a definite hotbed of modern piracy. They’ve taken custody of a very diverse group, an international contingent comprised of 16 Chinese nationals, one Japanese national, three Filipinos and four Vietnamese nationals. And they do have a good reason for pirating this particular ship, as the pirate leader, who did not identify himself, accused the Chinese vessel of fishing in Somali waters. If there’s one thing you know as a sailor, you don’t tread on pirates’ waters. This pirate leader clearly isn’t happy, saying that the captured crew "will be put before the law and punished accordingly.” Make ‘em walk the plank! Send ‘em to the depths of Davy Jones’ locker! But as any good pirate knows, taking control of the vessel isn’t all you need to do. There are also treasures to be pillaged, cargo to be looted and ransoms to be demanded. These guys haven’t gotten around to that yet, but I’m sure they will. They’re not the only pirate crew getting after it in the region, either. On Wednesday, pirates hijacked a Turkish-flagged ship carrying 4,500 tons of chemicals off Yemen's coast and then on Thursday, a Russian cargo ship escaped pirates who attacked the ship with machine guns and grenade launchers. While that attack didn’t result in a captured ship, it did spark a fire aboard the Captain Maslov, which was heading from Colombo, Sri Lanka, to Mombasa, Kenya. Coming to oppose the Somali pirates in these various attacks were British and Russian forces who used helicopters to counterattack the pirates. All told, there have been a whopping 84 pirate attacks and 33 successful hijackings off Somalia's coast this year and at present a dozen international ships are under the control of pirates. In other words, a great year for pirating and all things pirate-y, shiver me timbers!

- Who knew that there were so many Michael Vick fans in Houston, of all places? No, I’m not referring to the football career of the disgraced former Atlanta Falcons quarterback, I’m talking about his other main business - dogfighting. Vick is serving time in federal prison in Kansas and also faces state charges in Virginia for owning and running a dogfighting and gambling ring in the state, but his operation appears to be nothing compared to the fifty-five people in Houston who have been charged in what is believed to be one of the largest dogfighting operations in the United States. Officials in the investigation say the operation spread from Tyler to Matagorda County, with fights staged in Harris County weekly or twice monthly at one of eight secluded sites. Approximately 15 to 100 people attended each fight and many wagered on the outcomes, which I’m thinking might be a crime. Heck, there is even a horse and a snake involved, with those creatures possibly used for training purposes. What kind of lowlifes were involved in this criminal enterprise? Well, one of the alleged participants who was arrested was a special education teacher who was taken into custody at a school. Yes, we have avid dogfighters working with special education and special needs kids at schools. Nothing screams compassion and caring more than engaging in and furthering dogfighting, eh? Quite hypocritical to take part in that sort of thing and then turn around the next day and work with kids. Wonder what those kids would think if they had known what teacher did during non-school hours? According to Harris County District Attorney Kenneth Magidson, more than 100 dogs were seized. “They were bred specifically to fight,” said Belinda Smith of the Harris County District Attorney's Office. “They are not pets.” The investigation was run by the Texas Department of Public Safety's Criminal Intelligence Service and took more than a year to complete. It got started after someone called in a tip. The identity of that person has not been disclosed for obvious reasons, but I wish I knew who he or she is so I could thank them. As for the possibility that this could be the largest dogfighting ring in the country, Abelino Farias Jr., the United States Department of Agriculture's Special Agent in Charge, says it just might be. “This is the largest dogfighting investigation that the USDA's Office of Inspector General has worked in the Southwest," said Farias. To this point, 41 felony charges have been filed, mostly for engaging in dogfighting. A conviction on that charge carries a punishment of up to two years in state jail. Forty-five additional charges were filed for the class A misdemeanor of being a spectator at a dogfight, which is punishable by up to one year in county jail and a $4,000 fine. In terms of finding a court case to root for the prosecution in and hope that all defendants receive the maximum possible sentence, this would be a definite contender in that race…….

- Ah, what would the holidays be without some angry, disenfranchised outsiders looking to ruin it? Christmas is looming and some angry atheists in Denver are looking to make their dissatisfaction with the holiday known via a controversial billboard whose message sits against a blue sky backdrop and says, "Don't believe in God? You're not alone." A group of atheist activists will start with ten billboards in metro Denver, with another one to be put up in Colorado Springs. “And we're putting them up in November and December because of the holidays, when church and state issues tend to come up a lot,” said Joel Guttormson, with Metro State Atheists. “To let non-believers, free-thinkers and atheists know that they are not alone, especially in a country like ours that is predominantly Christian.” Yeah, I don’t think that’s a problem, Joel. I think atheists know that they are not alone, and if they feel that way, I’m sure an impersonal, inanimate object will help convince them otherwise. But if God doesn’t exist, as your group believes, then where did the materials to make said billboard come from? Where did the steel, plastic and dyes needed to make the display come from? They came from the Earth, which someone had to make, otherwise they wouldn’t exist. Allow Pastor Willard Johnson of Denver's Macedonia Baptist Church to further explain my case. Johnson called the billboards a desperate effort to discredit Christianity, saying, “The Bible is being fulfilled. It says that in latter days, you have all these kinds of things coming up, trying to disrupt the validity of Christianity. If they don't believe in God, how do they believe they came about?” Good question, Pastor, and one for which Guttormson and any other atheist has no good answer. Their beliefs are fundamentally flawed, which doesn’t mean they don’t have a right to what they believe, it just means they believe in something that has no evidence-based foundation. Yet the billboards will go up Nov. 17 and the atheist group, called Colorado Coalition of Reason or COCORE, will be responsible for them. The group also wanted to put up signs in Fort Collins and Greeley, but a billboard company there refused to carry the message. That’s their right, as they can sell their space to anyone they want or refuse to sell it as well. But according to Guttormson, this isn’t a fight about Christianity, but rather about First Amendment rights. "And I've read the First Amendment up and down and nowhere does it say that I have to care about your feelings. We're either 10 to 16 percent of the population, and the reason we don't really know is because people are scared to come out because they're ostracized by the people around them," said Guttormson. Whatever, Joel. You and your posse can believe what you want and buy billboard space from anyone willing to sell it to you, but your guess that the billboard will likely offend Christians isn’t true in this case. Offended, no, because what you’re saying it so laughably off-base and inaccurate that it’s hard to take offense to…….

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