- This is about as easy a choice for an appointment to a major political office as you can get. Of course, when W. is involved, it’s also going to be an incredibly difficult choice to make. Our un-esteemed leader has made his decision on a replacement for Alberto Gonzales, naming Michael B. Mukasey as his nominee for attorney general. The easy part of the equation is that when you’re choosing a successor for a ginormous tool like Gonzales, no matter who you choose you’re almost guaranteed that he or she will be markedly better than ol’ Alberto. However, the downside is that it is still W. making the choice, and that man couldn’t decide between crunchy peanut butter or creamy if his life depended on it because he’s just not smart enough to make those kinds of challenging choices. Mukasey is retired federal judge from New York who has handled terrorist cases in the U.S. legal system for years. The choice of a nominee who is largely agreeable to Democrats is being pointed to as an indication of W.’s weakening political power, but let’s face it, he probably played a game of “Pin the Tail on a Nominee” and thus came up with Mukasey. Or maybe he just thought that Mukasey sounded like a funny name, so he liked that. Mukasey is actually a judicial advisor to Republican presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani, so at least he won't have any sort of divided attention. Odds are that Mukasey will be approved by Congress, so like it or not, he’s your next attorney general. But hey, if you don’t like him, no worries, in a year a whole new regime will roll into Washington…..
- You’re killing me, Boston Red Sox, absolutely killing me. You have me and every other Yankee-hating baseball fan across America behind you and you are slowly, steadily choking away what was once a 14-game lead in the American League East. With Monday’s loss to the mediocre Toronto Blue Jays, the Sox have seen their lead shrink to a measly 3.5 games over the hated Pinstripes, a lead that doesn’t feel even remotely safe despite the fact that only 11 games remain in the regular season. As much as I hate to admit it, the Yankees have been playing winning baseball for several months now, but that doesn’t excuse Boston giving back nearly all of that massive lead by playing some of the most inconsistent, uninspired baseball they’ve played in a long time. The reality that both teams are almost certain to make the playoffs does little to assuage my rage, because 1) I hate the Yankees and seeing them in the playoffs in any form is inherently repulsive, and 2) If the Yankees are going to make the playoffs, then let it be as the wild card so their run of division titles can end. I realize that Boston is missing Manny Ramirez and that Man-Ram is a major part of the offense, but many of Boston’s recent losses have been because of lackluster pitching, not offensive deficiencies. All it will take for the Sox to win the division is a run of 7-4 or 8-3 to close the season, because as well as they’re playing, the Yankees will lose a few down the stretch. Pull yourselves together, Red Sox, because a nation’s hopes are resting on you.
- A very underwhelming weekend at the box office, that’s for sure. When the leading earner in ticket sales is bringing in $14 million, as The Brave One did, you know people are finding much better ways to spend their time than going to the movies. The $14 million for that particular movie is actually what I would expect, because a movie starring Jodie Foster as a vigilante with a gun terrorizing criminals in a big city is about as believable as a prison movie starring Pee Wee Herman and David Spade. The runner up was 3:10 to Yuma, the remake of the 1950s Western starring Russell Crowe and Christian Bale. Coming in third was a movie I am definitely going to avoid, Mr. Woodcock, partly because the name creates a lot of bad mental imagery and partly because I’m sure the horr-a that is this movie would create even more bad imagery. That these three movies combined brought in just over what half of The Bourne Ultimatum raked in during its opening weekend is a definitive statement that the summer blockbuster season is over and that we’re in that dead period before the big holiday film season gets rolling.
- So the Oscars were an unqualified success, and there’s one simple reason for that: Britney Spears wasn’t performing or associated with the show in any way. That alone is reason to enjoy any event, because let’s face it, an over-the-hill, overweight, flabby, lip-syncing pop tart trying to fake her way through a performance of a song so gawd-awful that no one could make it sound good is an absolute buzz kill. Of course, the reasons to celebrate the Oscars begin and end there. Besides that small triumph, you have a room full of rich, spoiled, surgically-enhanced movie stars and their massive egos gathered together in one ginormous, self-congratulatory heap. Everyone applauds everyone else and pretends to act humble as they congratulate one another and give each other awards to celebrate their greatness. Oh, and the show was hosted by the patron saint of the man blouse, Mr. Ryan Seacrest. I’m betting he had his teeth bleached and his tips frosted especially for the show. I watched bits and pieces of the broadcast, but only because it’s hard to sarcastically mock something you didn’t see….hard, but not impossible. Still, the only truly funny moments of the night came when Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert presented an award together, with Colbert sporting a leaf blower on his shoulder that runs “on Al Gore’s tears.” Other than that moment of levity, it was every bit as bad as one might expect. The best part is that we now have about a day and a half to get ready for the next overblown, self-congratulatory awards show, then two more days to get ready for the one after that, and the one after that…..
- Welcome to Denny’s, would you like an appetizer and an offensive racial slur to get you started? I didn’t know that was an appropriate greeting at any restaurant, but at one particular restaurant in East St. Louis, Ill., that’s exactly what a black family of 15 received along with their meal at a local Denny’s eatery. The family then sued Denny’s and has won that suit, with the settlement in the amount of $600,000 for the entire family. That works out to $40,000 each for the 15 family members, although I’m sure if you ask them, they would have gladly taken paying for their meal, not having their waiter ignore them and use ugly racial slurs and not having to sue over the way things transpired. Part of me thinks that I’d happily take that sort of shallow, ignorant remark and indifference for a $40,000 payout, but I’m more amazed that there are still people out there who are not only bigoted and ignorant enough to think the way that waiter did, but some of them are so arrogant and idiotic as to say those things in public to people who can take action against them. Just goes to show you that trends come and go, but stupid never goes out of style.
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