- I used to have a lot of respect for Harvard, but that level of respect has dipped substantially based on the revelation that the magazine 02138, a magazine aimed at Harvard alumni, has compiled a list of the top 100 “fascinating men and women whose work is changing the world,” and they have Al Gore at top of the list and that ass hat W. second. Now this is not to say that I’m not down with Gore’s work on behalf of the environment, because I am. Even if his film An Inconvenient Truth was one of the most boring pieces of film ever shot, he’s done much to raise awareness of environmental issues, especially global warming. Still, if Al Gore is the most fascinating person in your particular world, you live in a very, very sad and small world you live in. However, a much more egregious inclusion is W., a tool who is definitely affecting the world but is so far from fascinating that they’re not even in the same solar system. He’s ruining the world, creating unnecessary wars, directly causing the deaths of thousands of American soldiers and Iraqi civilians, but that makes him a moron, a dunce and an ignoramus, not fascinating in the list. I’m not even fascinated to know how a person can be that incredibly stupid and brain dead yet still walk upright. Shouldn’t Harvard grads be smarter and better educated than this? Shouldn’t the top of this list be populated by nuclear physicists, philanthropists, humanitarians and other, um, smart people? Step it up, Harvard-ians, you can do better than this.
- Look at my man Leigh Bodden, already in midseason form before the Cleveland Browns even kick off their 2007-08 campaign. Athletes are notorious for pulling the “Do you know who I am?” card with police, when they’re trying to get into a club or while they’re looking for special treatment in any place they go. They think they can big time people because they’re a professional athlete, but playing that card usually doesn’t result in a happy ending. Take Bodden, for example, when he went to Cleveland Hopkins International Airport on Wednesday. Bodden claims he was there to pick up his girlfriend and their two children, which shouldn’t be a big problem, right? Just pull into short-term parking, take a ticket on the way in and head on inside to the terminal to wait for your loved ones. That wasn’t how Bodden played it, because he either doesn’t understand the concept of airport security or figures that as a pro baller, he’s simply above the rules. According to Lt. Thomas Stacho of the Cleveland Police Department, Bodden was spotted at about 6:30 p.m. driving 2004 GMC Yukon the wrong way on the roadway for arriving flights at the airport. A police officer instructed Bodden to stop, but he initially refused before complying with a second command. Well, he kind of complied, pulling his vehicle to the curb and walking away. The officer then ordered Bodden to move the vehicle, but Bodden responded that he was there to pick up some people, which I guess he thought made it ok. Hey Leigh, I don’t know if you heard or not, but about six years ago we had this thing called 9/11, and ever since there’s been a much higher level of security at airports. You can no longer pull your vehicle up to the curb and just leave it. In fact, you can’t really linger near the curb long even if you remain in your vehicle. When the officer asked to see Bodden’s driver’s license, Bodden responded that it was in the vehicle. From there, the confrontation escalated, with Bodden reportedly becoming verbally abusive and using numerous profanities. Other officers were called in and witnessed Bodden’s temper tantrum, after which he was placed under arrest despite strong physical resistance. He’s been hit with charges of aggravated disorderly conduct, resisting arrest and various traffic offenses. Dude, next time hire a driver to take you to the airport, then you can get out at the curb and go inside to meet your loved ones while the driver takes the car to a parking lot and comes back to the door to pick you up in a few minutes. But if you absolutely must be the one driving to the airport, make use of the parking lots yourself, because I’ve actually used the short-term parking at the Cleveland Airport and it’s a pretty decent place, good lighting, plenty of spaces. Oh, and maybe next time listen to the officer when they give you simple requests like pulling over and moving your vehicle, because it sounds like you were one well-placed kick or elbow from a Taser blast, my man.
- Even the stupid need kindred spirits, and so our un-esteemed leader W. has his pal, Australian Prime Minister John Howard, to keep him company in Totally Wrong-ville when it comes to the war in Iraq. Howard clearly believes that stupidity should not go unsupported, so he has vowed to keep his country’s troops in Iraq, right beside the American troops who shouldn’t be there either, for the foreseeable future. “Our commitment to Iraq remains,” Howard stated. “This is not the time for any proposals of a scaling down of Australian forces.” Wow, it’s like a bizarro, Aussie version of W. come to life, spouting the same nonsensical, empty political rhetoric. Australia was one of the countries that participated in the ill-fated invasion back in 2003 that started this whole mess and still has about 1,600 troops left there, so it’s not as if they’re a player on the same level as the United States. Actually, chew on this for a minute: there have been more than three times as many American soldiers killed in Iraq as there are Australian soldiers left in the country. However, the Aussies have a distinct advantage over us Americans when it comes to a moronic leader keeping them in a conflict they shouldn’t be involved in: elections that are expected to be called within three months. Unlike the United States, Australia doesn’t have a regimented election system which dictates that a new leader can be elected only once every four years. No, elections for a new leader can be called for there, and Howard is trailing opposition leader Kevin Rudd in the polls already. Rudd, clearly a smart man, has already promised to pull Australian troops out of Iraq if elected. That’s the message that should carry the next American president to victory in the 2008 election as well. It is comforting, though, to know that as screwed as we are in terms of who’s leading our country, we at least have some company in our misery.
- Are you, like me, continually amazed at how David Beckham’s mere presence in America and in Major League Soccer has revolutionized the way soccer is perceived in this country? I mean, the way tens and tens of people actually give a crap about Becks and the L.A. Galaxy since he came to the U.S. are evidence enough of the chance he has made. Ok, so that’s an exaggeration. Tens and tens of people implies that there are more then five people who are paying attention to Beckham and the Galaxy, which is not a big deal because once again, Becks is hurt, not playing and is focusing his energy in other places than the place he’s earning $250 million to allegedly play soccer and be the face of a franchise and an entire league. Instead, reports from London have Beckham wanting to leave L.A. to head back to England in January to practice with the British national team for the 2008 World Cup. Instead of staying in L.A. and trying to build chemistry and cohesiveness with the team that’s paying him millions of dollars, Becks would rather go back home to England. Personally, I think we’d all be better off if he stayed there. If he’d stayed there to begin with, the Galaxy and MLS wouldn’t have wasted millions of dollars on a guy who plasyed ten meaningless minutes in his first game, then sat our the next few with an ankle ouchie, returned for two or three games and then had a “catastrophic” injury during a game that forced him to get his knee scoped and wonder if he shouldn’t just sit out and rest until his knee was healthy again. Right Becks, because we wouldn’t want you out there on the field when you’re in any pain, because heaven knows none of the athletes in the real, legitimate sports in this country every play in pain or with an injury. So Beckham may have only played five or six games and he may have generated no interest in his team or league after the hubbub of his debut game, but other than that you cant argue with soccer fan’s contention that he’s going to change how soccer is perceived in America…….
- Sorry for your troubles, Steve Jobs, I’ m doing my part, at least. As he announced that Apple will be reducing the cost of its uber-expensive iPhone by $200 and offer new iPods with touch screens and video games in an attempt to boost sales with the holiday season approaching and the company’s stock down by 5.6% last quarter. I happen to be typing this on my new Mac Book Pro, with my almost-new iPod video nearby, so Apple can’t blame its financial downturn on me, anyhow. The reduced cost of the iPhone is twofold, with the two-model system (4 GB and 8 GB) gone and only the 8 GB model now on sale for a reduced price of $399, which is still too expensive when you consider than monthly plans are in the $80-$100 range. “We want to put the iPhone in a lot of stockings this holiday season,” Jobs said, presumably with a straight face. Um, Steve-O, I don’t think a lot of people are going to be buying a $400 phone with a service plan in the $1,800-$2,000 range for two years as a Christmas gift, because in case you didn’t notice, most of America isn't rich. Not saying that the iPhone isn't a cool product, but it’s still far too expensive to be accessible to the majority of Americans. Talk to me when you knock another $150 off the price and have plans in the $50-$60 range.
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