- Boy, this is a rarity. Normally you don’t have to hold teenagers at gunpoint in order to get them to smoke pot and have sex. Yet that’s exactly what three gunmen in Salemburg, N.C. were charged with after their arrest Tuesday. The three men also allegedly fired four shots into the floor of the home where they took the teens hostage. Again I have to ask, what kind of accomplishment is there in forcing teens to do something that most of them probably already do anyhow? That’s like pointing a gun at Lindsay Lohan and “forcing” her to have a drink or eight, or maybe point a 9mm at Paris Hilton and demanding that she have sex with the nearest available dude. Not that I advocate taking hostages for no reason and point guns at them (it’s OK for O.J., he’s already headed straight for eternal damnation, so anything he does from here on out can’t make matters worse for him, but the rest of you find another way to settle your disputes), but statistics show that most people both smoke weed and have sex before they turn 18, so exactly what do you get out of making them do those things. If it’s a thrill for you to make other people have sex and watch, then you’re just a sick perv. What high (pun intended) you get from making them smoke the hippie lettuce, I don’t know. Hope your few minutes of enjoyment is worth the time you’re going to spend in the hole, losers.
- Can anyone explain to me why I should waste $100 to buy the sixth season of The Sopranos on DVD? This isn't just because I don’t like the show and have never understood its appeal; I simply find it offensive that HBO Video would try to blatantly rip off people by charging them twice (or three times) as much for a season of this show on DVD as it would cost for a single season of superior shows like Lost, Prison Break or Gilmore Girls. I suppose I just have to hunker down and endure this last wave of Sopranos hysteria, because the show is now officially over and the awards it won at the Oscars Sunday night will be its last, along with the knowledge that the release of the show on DVD will end soon now that the series has ended. Gosh, this has to be the most overhyped show in the history of television, narrowly edging out the desperate-middle-aged-woman favorite Sex and the City.
- I would buy the O.J. Simpson book If I Did It: Confessions of a Killer, but I’m holding out. For what, you ask? Clearly, I am waiting for Simpson’s next book, If I Burglarized a Hotel Room and Stole Back My Memorabilia at Gunpoint, Here’s How It Happened. We all know the facs of how the Juice (allegedly) murdered his wife and her friend, but who doesn’t want to hear behind-the-scenes details of O.J. putting together his personal swat team at a wedding reception and setting up a sting in a Vegas hotel room where he and his crew conducted their very own commando-style raid? The first 200,000 copies of O.J.’s how-to murder book may be selling in rapid-fire fashion, necessitating the printing of 50,000 more copies, but I’d much rather hear about the ill-fated plot that has resulted in 11 criminal charges against the Juice, including 10 felonies. Also, I want the inside scoop on who was idiotic enough to decide that publicly alleging that O.J. is being set up and railroaded in this case as some sort of sinister legal payback for his getting over on the murder charges against him back in 1994. Simpson’s lawyer floated that idea out there, and it ranks near the top of the most laughable developments in this case thus far. You do have to love the irony, that Simpson could brutally murder two people (allegedly, probably, almost certainly) and get away with it, but he breaks in to a hotel room and steals some sports memorabilia and he could end up spending the rest of his life in jail for it because one of the knuckleheads in his posse was packing heat. Great plan, Juice, you’re the best. Now beat these charges and stay a free man because only you can find the real killers…..
- I actually was feeling generous with my TV time tonight and gave one of the CW’s new shows, Gossip Girl, a try. After one episode, I can honestly say I was neither impressed nor disappointed. The show was exactly what the promos portrayed it as, no more, no less. It was a so-so hour of television, a bunch of spoiled rich kids in Manhattan, drinking, partying and with all the normal drama of high school. The format of a narrator guiding the whole show all hour long took some getting used to. It helped that the narrator was one of my fave actresses, Kristin Bell (Veronica Mars, we miss you!). On a side note, Bell will also be appearing this season on Heroes, further cementing her role at the top of my list of awesome actresses. (She also had a chance to be on Lost but decided against it. Man, is this girl in demand.) I didn’t see enough from Gossip Girl to want to commit to watching it every week, but next Wednesday night if I’m in front of the TV and there’s nothing else of note on, I might give it another shot…..
- Nobody dislikes Terrell Owens more than I do, but even I don’t have a problem with T.O.’s antics following his touchdown reception in Sunday’s game against Miami. In case you missed it, T.O. caught a touchdown pass in the fourth quarter and sprinted through the end zone to a spot just beside/slightly behind the goal post. From there, he held the football up in front of him like an old movie camera and used his off hand to turn an imaginary crank, as operators of those old movie cameras had to do. Owens aimed his “camera” at the sideline, clearly making light of the recent controversy involving the New England Patriots blatantly cheating by filming the signals given by opposing coaches. The NFL fun police clearly were not down with T.O.’s act, because they fined him a crisp $7,500 for the celebration. I won't beat around the bush on this one – this fine is a total load of crap. The ruling by the NFL says that you can’t use the ball or other props in the end zone to do a touchdown celebration, because as we all know, that would bring the entire league crashing down. The apocalypse would set in if a guy came up with a creative touchdown celebration and he wasn’t fined and penalized heavily for it. The NFL needs to lighten up and remove that ginormous stick from up its butt, because of all the things T.O. has pulled, this is probably the least offensive. It’s not even as bad as him pulling a Sharpie from his sock, autographing a ball and tossing it to a friend in the stands as he did on Monday Night Football a few years ago. For once, T.O. was actually funny and not being an a-hole, but the NFL just had to fine him anyhow…..
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