- Not a stellar Saturday of college football, I have to say. Now that is a relative statement because even on its worst day, a Saturday of college football is still just about the best thing in sports. Wall to wall action from noon to well past midnight is impossible to beat, but on this particular Saturday, that action was lacking in drama for the most part. An overwhelming majority of top teams (thus teams with games on national TV) had laughers, starting with top-ranked USC. The Trojans embarrassed Nebraska in a 49-31 game that was much more of a blowout than the final score indicates. All of the hayseed, overall-wearing, John Deere-driving Nebraska fans who swore up and down that their boys would take it to those overrated Trojans from the land of botox, spoiled celebrities and tanning booths on every corner ended up with egg on their faces. The blowouts continued with second-ranked LSU (44-0 over Middle Tennessee), third-ranked Oklahoma (54-3 over the might Utah State Aggies) and fourth-ranked Florida (59-20 over Tennessee). Other highly ranked squads were #5West Virginia (by 17 over Maryland), #8 Cal (a 30-point victor over Louisiana Tech) and #11 Ohio State (by 19 over Washington). The best games of the day involved teams totally off the national radar. Ball State and Navy played an amazing back-and-forth contest that saw the Cardinals prevail 34-31 in overtime, despite more than 500 rushing yards for the Midshipmen. Tulsa and BYU also had a classic encounter, won 55-47 by the Golden Hurricane over the visiting Cougars. The only high-profile games to live up to the hype were Arkansas v. Alabama, which was decided on an Alabama touchdown pass with four seconds left for a 41-38 win, and Kentucky vs. Louisville, which saw Kentucky ruin the Cardinals’ national title dreams with a stunning 57-yard touchdown pass with 28 seconds left to snatch a 40-34 win and the Governor’s Cup in the process. Oh, and not only were there massive blowouts by ranked teams, there were blowouts going the other direction as well. UCLA, ranked #11 going into today, was attempting to win this year’s Mormon Challenge Cup by beating Utah following last week’s win over BYU, but the Bruins were smoked by the Utes 44-6. It was one of the most embarrassing losses for a ranked team I can remember seeing, as well as a game that lacked in drama and intensity throughout. The combination of mostly the chalk winning and the blowout nature of a majority of the games I watched put a damper on the day, but again it was a Saturday of college football, which means that it still rocked.
- Great news on the war in Iraq……Secretary of Defense Robert Gates says that the number of troops in Iraq, fighting a war they should never have been involved in, could be cut by as many as 100,000….if conditions in Iraq improve enough to merit their leaving. Pardon me if I’m not excited by that announcement, Bobby, because that’s the same as me saying that if tomorrow I wake up and find $900 million on my doorstep, I’ll buy a new home for every poor family in America. Neither one is going to happen, but in actuality the $900 million on my doorstep is more likely. Exactly what Gates means by his expression of, as he puts it, a hope rather than a definite plan by the W. administration, is unclear. He didn’t spell out what the progress would be that would allow those 100,000 soldiers to come home, but that is the way this administration operates. Lots of double talk, denials, vague statements and generic proclamations in order to avoid ever having to be held accountable or admit that they were wrong. Gates quickly retreated into approved administration rhetoric after making this out-of-character statement, attacking senators who dared call on W. to change the failing, floundering, directionless, worthless and pointless plan in Iraq because it isn't succeeding. This came after the Senate took in the testimony of Ryan Crocker, U.S. Ambassador to Iraq, and Gen. David Petraeus, the commanding officer for the American forces in Iraq, and issued a report saying that the president’s plan for the war-torn nation is failing badly. So pardon me for being suspicious of your vague, dubious “hope,” Bob-O.
- I would say this is a fall from grace for Fred Durst, but let’s face it, Durst was never really esteemed that highly by anyone but Britney Spears for that one night of….never mind. The former (I think former, does anyone know if Limp Bizkit is still technically together? Does anyone care?) Limp Bizkit front man has pled no contest to not one, not five but seven misdemeanors, including assault, battery and reckless driving after intentionally hitting two people with his vehicle while driving in Los Angeles. Durst received a suspended 120-day jail sentence, a $1,500 and must perform 20 hours of community service as part of his plea. Additionally, Durst has been slapped with a restraining order by the people he hit and must remain at least 100 feet from them at all times. The incident itself actually happened in October 2006, with charges filed in January. And no, there is no truth to the rumor that Durst was merely driving along that night and just decided to “keep rollin’, rollin’, rollin’,” right into the victims……..
- Usually when there’s this much of a controversy over underwear, it’s because Lindsay Lohan or Britney Spears aren’t wearing them. This time, however, it’s because several prisoners at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp were found to be wearing unauthorized underwear and now officials are investigating how the prisoners got the contraband undergarments. Two prisoners were caught wearing Under Armour briefs and one prisoner had a Speedo on, which is a whole ‘nother problem. Personally, I’m punishing the guard who gave the guy the Speedo more harshly than anyone, and I’m also punishing the guy who wore the Speedo severely as well. There are just some things that no one in this world should ever have to see, and one of them is a dude in a Speedo. The contraband items were not issued by the prison nor were they sent by regular mail, so there are concerns about smuggling and what other items could get into the hands of the prisoners. What could be more offensive than a guy receiving and wearing a Speedo, I don’t know.
- Ah, the allure of following the current trendy religion so you can be both stylish and spiritual at the same time…..it never fails to draw in celebrities. Madonna, Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are three of the celebs on the Kabbalah train right now, and they were in Tel Aviv this week for a conference celebrating the Jewish New Year. It never ceases to amaze how celebrities bandwagon religious ideals like Kabbalah or Scientology, but it is funny when celebrities whose entire lifestyle screams excess, morally bankrupt behavior and a total lack of class espouse religious beliefs that stand in direction contradiction to those lifestyles. Take Madonna, for example, who has built her reputation on being crude, crass, sexually explicit and was photographed a week or so ago walking out of a store with a sex toy known as “The Purple Penetrator.” Yeah, because I’m sure the Kabbalah gives a thumbs up to that sort of thing, as well as to graphically sexual books like the one Madonna wrote. I’m also sure that the Kabbalah is down with movies about being a stripper, as Demi Moore has done, and ones all about getting high and wasted, a la Dude, Where’s My Car?, as Kutcher has done. Yes, I can think of no finer trio of celebrities to be representing my religion than these three, that’s for sure. Thankfully, I’m not a big Kabbalah-head, so I don’t have to worry about that.
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