- Should I be relieved that there’s a story revolving around unsavory business practices in China and it doesn’t involve the Chinese exporting toothpaste containing a toxic chemical usually used in antifreeze? Decisions, decisions….I’m going to go with no on this one, because as thankful as I am to avoid any more toxic toothpaste incidents, a baby trafficking ring isn't really an improvement. Police in eastern China have broken up a major baby trafficking ring, arresting 47 people and rescuing 40 infants currently in the custody of those 47 lowlifes. Look, I know there are strict population control measures in place in China, so if you have one kid and then find out you’re going to have another, you need to figure out a plan because you could face severe punishment for breaking the law, but setting up a black market for infants is not the way to go. Or maybe these losers were looking to make some extra cash by selling babies to foreign couples looking to adopt, I don’t know and honestly, it doesn’t really matter. Baby trafficking is just one of those crimes where you don’t need to know all of the details, because no matter what it’s totally reprehensible and without justification. It almost makes toxic toothpaste seem lighthearted by comparison……almost.
- When is winning a lawsuit not really winning? When the losing party that you’re trying to collect a settlement from is none other than one of the United States’ most bitter enemies, Iran. Suffice to say that there aren’t a lot of warm fuzzies being exchanged between the U.S. and the Iranians, so I don’t think the families of 241 U.S. service members killed in the 1983 bombing of a U.S. Marine barracks in Beirut are going to be successful in collecting the $2.65 billion judgment levied against the Middle Eastern nation by a federal judge on Friday. The ruling allows approximately 1,000 family members of the deceased Marines to seek reparations from the Iranian government by seizing assets from sources around the world. If I believed in luck, I would wish all of these families good luck in getting that money, but it’s just not going to happen. Governments, especially ones in rogue nations like Iran, don’t exactly operate on the up and up when it comes to finances. They have all sorts of secret money and assets hidden in all sorts of obscure locations and they’re certainly not going to willingly turn over any of their money to citizens of a nation they despise simply because one of that nation’s judges said they have to. A new law that would make it easier for money to be recovered from foreign governments in cases like this one is under consideration by Congress, but even the potential passing of this new law doesn’t seem like it would be enough to successfully resolve this case.
- That you very much, Romeo Crennel, for doing your part to further my new campaign to fire Cleveland Browns coach Romeo Crennel. Aside from making asinine decisions like naming his starting quarterback on a week-to-week basis (which turned out to be a lie, but more on that in a minute) and refusing to admit who his backup quarterback would be, Crennel has also appeared inept and overmatched when it comes to in-game coaching tactics as well. The collective ineptitude of Crennel, his staff and his team were on display today in an awful 34-7 season-opening loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers that was every bit as bad as the score indicates, if not worse. The Browns turned the ball over four times and changed quarterbacks mid-game, proving that the team’s quarterback isn't on a week-to-week basis, but rather a quarter-by-quarter basis. Really it didn’t matter if it was Charlie Frye throwing the interceptions or if it was Derek Anderson. The supposedly revamped and improved offensive line was atrocious, giving up six sacks and threatening to send whomever was playing quarterback to the emergency room every time they dropped back to pass. The outcome was never in debut as the Steelers led 17-0 at the end of the first quarter. If this is how the Browns are going to look on a weekly basis, my campaign to get Crennel fired should be successful in 3-4 weeks, a record even for my über-powerful campaigns to bring down inept coaches and idiotic leaders. I look forward to hearing plenty of coach-speak and wheelbarrows full of clichés from Browns players and coaches this week as they try to spin this loss into something other than the utter embarrassment it is. Talk all you want about it being only one game with 15 more to go, Brownies, but realize how hollow those words are when you showed absolutely no indication on this day that you are good enough to win even one game this year. Fire Romeo…..chant it with me, Fire Romeo!
- Well the hits just keep on comin’ when it comes to global warming. As W. and his administration of ass hats continue to deny that global warming even exists and pressure scientists to alter their findings on the subject to conform with the fake truth that the administration wishes for us all to believe, the world’ ecosystem continues to take one body blow after another. On Friday, government scientists announced that by their calculations, two-thirds of the world’s polar bears will die off by 2050 because of thinning ice due to global warming in the Arctic. As America, Russia, Canada, Norway and others race to assert sovereignty over the oil and natural gas resources being revealed by the melting ice caps, the issue of polar bears being pushed to the verge of extinction hasn’t been raised once by W. or any of his stooges. Only in the northern Canadian Arctic islands and the west coast of Greenland are any of the world’s 16,000 polar bears projected to survive to the end of this century, a disturbing piece of news for sure. Extinction of the polar bears world definitely put a definite damper on the prospects of those great Coca Cola holiday ads featuring the polar bears drinking Cokes (I know they’re CGI, dammit, I don’t care), that’s for sure. And this is a U.S. Geological Survey, done by government scientists, so you can be sure that these researchers are already under pressure from W. and his minions to revise their report to say that polar bears are not in danger of extinction, but rather are thriving and their population is expected to triple by 2025. Wake up and smell the environmental devastation that your reign of terror in this country hath wrought, W.
- A couple of TV reminders for you as we kick off another week: First, Greek, my favorite summer show, has its season finale tonight with guest stars Alan Ruck (Spin City) and Charisma Carpenter (Charmed, Veronica Mars) on campus as Rusty, Casey and the rest of the Cyprus Rhodes crew wrap up their semester and first season. I have to admit that it surprised me to realize that there have only been nine episodes of the show, because it’s been such a good show that it seems like more. There will actually be an all-day marathon on the show in its entirety, beginning at noon tomorrow on ABC Family. Also tomorrow night, from 8-10 p.m., Prison Break will air the final two episodes from its amazing second season in preparation for the Season Three premiere next Monday night. As it turns out, the third season will begin with Lincoln on the outside of the prison walls, trying to break Michael out, a reversal from how the series began in the first place. Should be a great season, be sure to tune in.
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