- Too often people think of mascots as warm, fuzzy, oversized cartoon characters come to life. Kids love them and they mug for cameras during the game to the point that they can become annoying. Not the University of Oregon’s mascot, though. The UO duck is one tough mo-fo. The mascot, known simply as the Duck, will be serving a one-game suspension this Saturday as Oregon takes on Fresno State because back in Oregon’s opener on September 1, the Duck got into a mascot brawl with Shasta, the mascot for the University of Houston Cougars, who were UO’s opponent that day. The Duck took umbrage when Shasta (played by UH student Matt Stolt, who is also a walk-on with the football team) copied his patented touchdown celebration of doing push-ups equal to the number of points Oregon has scored in that particular game. The two mascots got into a fight on the sideline, with the Duck administering an animalistic beatdown of Shasta/Stolt, pummeling him with rights, lefts, kicks and pinning him to the ground. Well, as much as one can pummel someone else when both are wearing padded, furry mascot costumes. There were actually two separate altercations, the first a mere shoving match. "He kept coming after me so I pushed him off of me a little bit and then he kind of slapped my head gear around." Stolt said. The second encounter was the more violent of the two. "(I) went out there and did push ups," Stolt continued. “He came out, kicked me and it wasn't a hard kick. So, I figured he was just playing. Then he did something else. He made some obscene gestures and I lost it. I got up and that's the part where you see me running and tackling him.” As always, good to see mascots conducting themselves with class and dignity, two traits they are known for worldwide. The Duck’s actions continue a trend of violent and crazy behavior by mascots from the Pac 10 Conference, which saw the Tree, Stanford University’s mascot, suspended last basketball season because the student who plays the Tree at games showed up to a men’s basketball game drunk out of his mind. I’m not sure whether to be amused or disturbed by this, but I’ll err on the side of good humor and just laugh it off.
- Someone needs to brief O.J. Simpson on the laws in this country, because clearly the Juice doesn’t quite grasp them and their significance. Already he’s proven that he doesn’t understand that it’s wrong to murder two innocent people by turning them into human Pez dispensers, and now he’s demonstrated that he doesn’t get the notion of breaking and entering or what burglary means. Las Vegas police have officially named Simpson as a suspect in an incident at the Palace Station hotel/casino in which sports memorabilia was taken from a hotel room. Simpson admitted to entering the room and taking the memorabilia, but he claimed it was simply a retrieval of stolen mementos that included his Hall of Fame certificate and a picture of the running back with J. Edgar Hoover. Initially the incident had been reported as an armed robbery involving guns, but so far police have not recovered any weapons. Simpson said auction house owner Tom Riccio called him several weeks ago to say some collectors "have a lot of your stuff and they don't want anyone to know they are selling it.” Thus, the Juice set up his own sting operation, with Riccio posing as a potential buyer for the items. Then, the Juice and some friends raided the room and took the memorabilia, but the people whose room it was came back and discovered what was going on. Right now it’s not clear whose version of the story is true, but how about the absolute brass pair displayed by the Juice here, pulling this kind of stunt. Look, Juice, I know you think you’re smarter than the cops because you brutally murdered two people and got away with it, but that doesn’t mean you can do your own commando-style raid of a hotel room to recover some memorabilia you think belongs to you. This isn't one of those crappy action movies you’ve acted in where you can administer your own vigilante justice. If someone has something that belongs to you, rather than setting up one of the most poorly concocted, ill-conceived sting operations ever, just call the cops and let them sort things out. You’ve already cheated justice once in the most offensive fashion possible, so don’t push your luck. You should be sitting on death row right now but instead you’re free, so enjoy your freedom, maybe use your time in your quest to find the “real killers.”
- Call me crazy (go ahead, I’m used to it), but the will she/won’t she debate about Sara Wayne Callies’ return to Prison Break for this coming season hasn’t dampened my enthusiasm for the show one bit. For a while now, the prevailing belief has been that Callies is gonzo, as evidenced by her near-total absence from the season premiere, with only a back-to-the-camera appearance done by a body double. However, Fox has now issued a news release saying that Callies will have a “major role” in this season’s storylines, so you can choose who you want to believe on this one. As I said, I really don’t care that much, I think it will be a great season with or without her, although if given a choice, who wouldn’t want Dr. Tancredi back? However, with an amazing cast of great (and diverse) characters, PB could still have a great year without Callies. I’m much more interested to find out what the frak SONA is and why Michael is being held there. Either way, the show returns Monday at 8 p.m., so be sure to tune in for the one great show that Fox has. This will be the one week for a while you can focus solely on Prison Break on Monday night, because the show is getting a one-week head start on Heroes, soon to return on NBC.
- Few bets in sports have been safer in recent years than banking on the fact that as he tries his never-ending comeback to the NFL, Ricky Williams is going to screw up somehow and lose his shot to play football once again. This guy has tested positive for marijuana and other drugs so many times you’d think he was a regular passenger on Willie Nelson’s tour bus. But the Rick-ster is again on the comeback trail and plans on applying for reinstatement to the NFL once he becomes eligible on Oct. 1. Ricky has been suspended four tiems for violating the league’s substance abuse policy, with the most recent ban coming in April 2006. He played in the Canadian Football league last season, but hasn’t played in the NFL since 2004. He’s tried traveling the world, going into holistic medicine, living in India, playing Canadian football, but nothing has worked in terms of keeping him clean. His attorney, David Cornwell, spoke with the blunt-loving running back this week and relayed what Williams told him. "He sounds wonderful," Cornwell said. "He sounds like he's in a great place, and I'm confident that will come through to the commissioner.” Hmm, was he very mellow and laid back on the phone? Did it sound like he was munching on Cheetos and watching a Planet Earth DVD while talking to you? I’ll believe Ricky is clean when I see it, although I’m sure some NFL team will give him a shot if Commission Roger Goodell reinstates him.
- While I don’t know that his particular brand of comedy is ideal for an awards show, I’m glad to see that Jon Stewart will be hosting the Oscars again in 2008. The host of TV’s best fake news show will take to the stage on Feb. 24 for the 80th annual Academy Awards show. Stewart hosted in 2006 and did well, so he’s getting another shot at standing in front of a room of pompous, egotistical, self-important stars who are in full self-congratulatory mode as they give out awards to themselves. The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences didn’t officially say why Stewart will host instead of 2007’s choice, un-funny comedienne Ellen Degenerate, er, Degeneres, but I have a guess. How about because Degeneres isn't funny, entertaining or interesting? How’s about because chicks should not be sporting the same haircut as dudes when that cut is as short as Degeneres’? As I said, Stewart’s self-effacing, sarcastic style might not be typical for award show hosts, but he’s a thousand times better of a choice than Degeneres.
- Stoners and rock fans of all ages rejoice, because for the first time in nearly two decades, Led Zeppelin will reunite as a band to play a show. Jimmy Page and Robert Plant will bring their band back together for a one-time gig to honor the memory of Ahmet Ertegun, the late co-founder of Atlantic Records. Led Zep hasn’t played together since 1987, but they will reunite to play the concert at the 02 venue on the banks of the Thames River in London on Nov. 26. John Paul Jones and the late John Bonham’s son Jason will join Page and Plant for what should be a great show.
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