- Don’t you just love it when the two men holding the two highest elected positions in our government basically use the Constitution and laws of our land to wipe their collective arse while simultaneously giving all of America the finger? Me too! That’s why I was so pumped to hear that on the heels of Dick(head) Cheney refusing to turn over documents and materials to the national archives without an actual legal, defensible reason, our un-esteemed leader W. is ordering former White House aides to defy congressional subpoenas ordering them to explain their roles in the (wrongful, politically motivated) firings of eight U.S. attorneys over the winter. You may remember that Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and his underlings continually passed the buck, lied and double-talked when asked by Congress to explain their actions. Now, W. is claiming executive privilege and ordering the aides to openly defy Congress. Right, because why would we want to actually have the truth come out and get to the bottom of this? Oh, you mean this is another attempt to cover up the wrongful, nay illegal actions of an administration that is intent on screwing over our country in every possible way? Never mind then, go ahead, W. and sycophants, keep lying, manipulating the truth, ignoring the law and generally saying a hearty, “F*** You!” to the American people.
- It’s not often that Americans can say we wish our country would be more like Canada, but on this day I wish America could be more like our mullet-sporting, round bacon-eating neighbors to the north, eh? While we’re busy funneling our troops off to Iraq to fight and die in an unjust, unnecessary and indefensible war, Canada is sending its fighting men and women off……to the Arctic. The Canadians are looking to reassert their control over the Northwest Passage, a region rich in oil and natural gas that the United States says is international territory. Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper says six to eight patrol ships will guard what the Canadians believe to be Canadian waters and that a deep water port will also be built. Quite frankly, I like the idea, because it involves sending additional troops to a region where there isn't likely to be an actual war and where one country isn't wrongfully inserting itself into the politics and civil war of another country thousands of miles away. You taking notes on this, W.?
- In the biggest game of baseball chicken I can remember, MLB Commissioner Bud Selig has wussed out and Barry Bonds has won. Selig has reportedly decided that he will be in attendance on the night when the ‘roid-fueled, surly and contemptuous San Francisco Giants slugger finally break’s Hank Aaron’s record for career home runs. MLB officials deny that the commissioner has made any final decision on what to do about Bonds breaking the record, but I suspect that he has made his choice and that he will be there when the tainted milestone happens. There’s no way MLB or Selig himself would allow any information at all that would even remotely suggest that Selig planned to attend the milestone game for Bonds if it wasn’t true. For whatever reason, B. Selig has held out on making an official statement about his intentions for as long as possible. Maybe it’s akin to realizing you were really wrong about something and you’re confronted with the truth and you fight like heck to not admit it, even though you realize that eventually you’ll have to. Or maybe Bud is hoping that some miraculous event, i.e. Bonds being found with a load of steroids in the trunk of his car, will happen in between now and home run No. 756 to allow the commish a viable excuse for not being at the game when the record is set. Either way, it appears Selig has finally caved to the pressure, bowed to the popular opinion that he has a duty to be at the game and decided to do just that. I for one am disappointed in him, because I’m not going to be one of the politically correct masses and hide behind that belief of not convicting Bar-roid because he’s never actually failed a drug test. If Selig doesn’t feel like he should be there and that Bonds has cheated to reach this record, then Bud should have the testicular fortitude to make a stand and stick with it.
- All hail Captain Obvious, a.k.a. Los Angeles Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa. In coming out of self-imposed seclusion after an affair with a local newscaster, my main man Antonio had the following uber-obvious statement: “I made a mistake.” Well thanks for clearing that up, A., because I wasn’t sure if you had or not. I mean, no one is really clear on whether cheating on your wife, breaking your wedding vows and then trying to cover the affair up is the wrong thing to do, so I’m glad you’ve clarified that. Villaraigosa went into hiding on July 3 after finally admitting to his relationship with Mirthala Salinas, a 35-year-old correspondent with Telemundo’s L.A. affiliate, KVEA. The affair has earned Salinas a suspension from her job and may lead to her being fired. The pair became involved when Salinas covered the mayor (insert your own joke here) for KVEA. Now, the affair has begun wrecking both of their lives, with Villaraigosa’s wife Corina filing for divorce. An odd side note about their marriage is that the Villaraigosa name is actually an amalgam of the mayor’s original last name, Villar, and the wife’s name, Raigosa. The mayor will keep the name, although after this scandal, his name isn't going to be worth much to him in the eyes of the people of Los Angeles.
- Things to not do after you’ve been drafted by an NFL team but before you’ve signed your rookie contract……..one of them would have to be jumping a guy on the street after he threw a rock at your car and teaming up with a friend to administer a severe ass-kicking to said guy on the street. San Diego Chargers rookie linebacker Anthony Waters is off to a bad start in the league after being slapped with assault and battery charges following an incident in Horry County, South Carolina. According to a police report, Waters had the windshield of his car was smashed last week when Colby Sarvis allegedly threw a rock at the vehicle. Waters pulled to the side of the road, a confrontation ensued, and Waters and a friend, Brian Rogers, are alleged to have beaten Sarvis. Given Roger Goodell’s stance on player misconduct, I’ll go ahead and assume that he isn't going to look favorably on a guy who has barely made it into the league already running afoul of the law in such violent fashion. Waters needs to realize that he’s no longer some slacker college dude who can mix it up whenever he wants and get away with a slap on the wrist. He’s an NFL player now and people are going to look to get under his skin, to bait him and be the one to get into a brawl with the pro athlete so they can cash in on the notoriety.
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