- That’s the best ESPN can do for a musical act to close out the ESPYs? A singer who barely eked out her 15 minutes of fame and some obscure elevator music backing band? Macy Gray is famous for two things, one of them being that she sounds like she inhaled a half dozen tanks of helium before performing and the other being that she once wore the tackiest outfit in awards show history, a dress with lettering from head to toe demanding that people buy the new album she was putting out. When you combine this wretched performance with the fact that they kept showing Kelly Clarkson sitting in the audience and actually had the former karaoke contestant as a presenter, this was easily the worst awards show ever in terms of musical content. The only way to make it worse would be mixing in some of Clarkson’s other American Karaoke reject buddies, maybe throw in Yanni, John Tesh and Cher and have them all do a salute to disco. Seriously, you’re telling me that not a single good indie rock group would be down with coming to perform at an awards show where the most famous athletes of the world are gathering en masse? For the majority of the show it looked like LeBron’s ridiculous cover of Bobby Brown’s My Prerogative would be the musical lowlight of the night, but Macy Gray made sure it wasn’t.
- As badly as I’d like to bring criminal charges against some music artists for their inane, moronic lyrics (yeah you, Fergie), here in America that type of thing just doesn’t happen. In Turkey, however, the government is a lot more vigilant about repressing the rights of its citizens (even W. and his collection of stooges aren't so severe) and so a punk rock band that goes by the name Deli is being taken to court for the lyrics to one of their songs. The song in question openly and harshly criticizes the Turkish equivalent of the SAT test American students take, a test that all Turkish students must pass to have any chance to get into college. Prosecutors allege that the offending song is an insult to the state and its employees (uh, most good music is in some sense) and even though the tune is several years old, it’s causing a major stink. A Turkish teenager lip-synced to the song and posted it on YouTube last year (ah, YouTube, the scourge of oppressive governments worldwide) and thus it was brought to the government’s attention. Now the band, their manager and a former member will go on trial in the capital city of Ankara, with a possible sentence of up to 18 months awaiting them if they are convicted. Sadly, these appear to be the obstacles facing all artists and creative individuals in a country with an Islamic-leaning, freedom-restricting government. On behalf of all writers, musicians and artists worldwide, here’s hoping that Deli and their manager aren't thrown into prison simply for speaking out against something as benign as a college entrance exam.
- Remy Ma needs to realize that just because you’re in a rap group called Terror Squad doesn’t mean you actually need to live life up (or down) to that billing. The thug rapper whose actual name is Remy Smith has surrendered to authorities and been charged with attempted murder following a near-fatal shooting in New York on Saturday. Better still, it was one of her own friends, Makeda Barnes-Joseph, that Remy shot after accusing Barnes-Joseph of stealing $2,000 from her. Remy Ma shot her (alleged) friend twice in the mid-section, then fled. She apparently had a change of heart and turned herself in, but she now insists that the charges against her are false allegations. The fact that Remy Ma has been arrested several times since 1996 for weapons possession, assault and other criminal charges should in no way imply that she is……well actually that does make her look kinda guilty. Just to be safe, though, from here on out why not stick to rapping about killing and shooting people and leave out the actual practicing of those actions?
- Good news for all unmarried women in their forties who formerly got their thrills watching the absurdly distorted and unrealistic “relationship adventures” of Sarah Jessica Parker and her crew of marginally attractive, massive ego-toting friends from Sex and the City: the movie version of the vastly overrated TV show is about to come to fruition. Amazingly, all four of the women from the show (Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon and Parker) have either set aside their massive egos or, as is more likely, been paid enough to massage their bloated self-images sufficiently and now one major hurdle remains: getting Chris Noth, a.k.a. Mr. Big, to agree to be in the movie. His manager has claimed that no offer has been made and that Noth is hoping the scheduling can be worked out for him to be in the picture, which is code for “Pay me more money, you haven't offered enough yet,” in actor-speak. I’m seriously hoping that Noth signs on and this movie gets made, but not because I have any interest in seeing it. No, I just don’t want scores of angry, bitter middle-aged women throwing a royal tantrum because the movie fell apart after Mr. Big wouldn’t be in it. For the good of all of us, especially men, sign the frakkin’ contract, Chris, take however many millions they’re offering and be happy.
- I loves me a good conspiracy theory, but this one is too far-fetched even for my tastes. Erstwhile Communist leader Fidel Castro, the man responsible for repressing and ruling with fear over Cuba for decades, has alleged that the United States government has actually allowed recent terrorist attacks against its citizens because it needed to “deliver a bang” in order to justify the war on terror. Let’s see, creating terrorism so you can then justify fighting said terrorism……..that’s some of the most convoluted logic I’ve ever heard. It would be one thing to allege a private-sector company creating a demand that it would then be able to capitalize on financially, but this is the U.S. government. Even an incompetent, dishonest and shady administration like the one in office now wouldn’t deliberately allow terrorist attacks so it could justify a war on terror. In fact, most Americans don’t have a problem with the war on terror; we’re fairly unanimous in saying that terrorism is bad and we want it stopped. We don’t agree with invading other countries because of mysterious, made-up reasons, interjecting ourselves in their own civil wars and seeing thousands of American troops die as a result, but we’re almost all down with the idea of fighting terrorism. Maybe Fidel is still a little loopy from all of the pain and other medication he’s been taking since his most recent surgery, but these claims he’s made are just outright absurd.
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