- Does anyone remember why Lindsay Lohan got famous in the first place? Seriously, as best I can remember, nearly all of her movies have been as unequivocally bad as her newest stink bomb, I Know Who Killed Me. Already reeling from a week filled with legal troubles, a drug-and-booze relapse and criticism coming from every angle, Lohan’s newest movie, which falls into the “torture porn” category that has produced nothing but unwatchable crap in recent months, is receiving the lowest possible rating from nearly every possible source. The plot is absurd and half-baked, the acting is awful and the dialogue is as bad as either of those two things. I know L. Lohan is good for some crazy, scantily clad images in pictures every few weeks, but that alone can't be enough to keep her in the spotlight, can it? There are thousands of skanks out there aspiring to be famous who will pose in little or no clothing and look as good or better than Lohan. Plus, they would give us the added bonus of not putting out movies centering on an amnesiac, one-legged attempted-murder survivor who claims she’s a stripper named Dakota Moss. Think about it people, we can do better………
- Bad news, TV fans….it turns out that the finale of Traveler on July 18 was indeed the series finale, which is not what I had initially posted. The decision to put the show on what producer David DiGilio terms “permanent hiatus” (see his TV Guide blog, http://community.tvguide.com/blog/Celebrity-Blogs/Davids-Traveler-Blog/800048619) is a regrettable one and many fans have spoken out vocally against ABC’s choice, including me. ABC president Stephen McPherson sounded incredibly dumb at the ABC upfront when he addressed the cancellation of the show, saying, “We were disappointed with the way the show was creatively developed.” Disappointed? What, you mean exciting, action-packed hours of drama with a great plot and interesting characters disappoint you? I’m so sorry to hear that, Steve-O, and even sorrier that it will mean the demise of a series I’d really come to like this summer. Again, there’s always a miniscule chance the series could be rescued, but if that’s going to happen fans have to speak out loudly, repeatedly and vocally. I hope you’ll do just that, because with hidden camera crap-fests, lame reality shows featuring hack inventors and other reality shows with D-list celebs ballroom dancing, ABC doesn’t have many good shows to offer, besides Lost and Greek.
- A while back, the WWE claimed that it was instituting its own internal drug-testing program for the company’s wrasslers. At the time everyone cracked jokes about the announcement, figuring it was as phony and scripted as the action in WWE wrestling. After all, with a roster full of jacked-up, chiseled performers that would seem to undoubtedly contain at least a few guys using ‘roids, WWE wouldn’t really test wrestlers and take action against them for using steroids, would it? For WWE’s sake, I hope that they were telling the truth, because in the wake of the Chris Benoit double murder/suicide tragedy, two congressmen who opened steroid hearings into Major League Baseball have requested that World Wrestling Entertainment provide records pertaining to the WWE's testing policies and practices. In a three-page letter dated Friday, Rep. Henry Waxman, the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, and Tom Davis, the committee’s ranking minority member, asked WWE to provide several documents that should give the committee an in-depth look at WWE's drug-testing policy, including information about the results of performance-enhancing drug tests on wrestlers. The letter from Waxman and Davis cited the influence WWE performers have on young people as a reason for increased scrutiny of the message they would send by using ‘roids. The WWE has until Aug. 24 to respond, and a company spokesman has offered up a perfunctory response that says simply that WWE is “reviewing this letter and will respond accordingly.” As much as I enjoy watching WWE and as impressive as some of the physiques the wrestlers display are, it’s in no way worth it if it means these guys using performance-enhancing drugs that will continue leading to a slew of early deaths for former pro wrestlers.
- Tom Cruise may be weird, he may be insane, he may be creepy, kooky, bizarre and mildly frightening, but that doesn’t mean you get to extort money out of the little man. Two men have been arrested and charged with attempting to extort money from the diminutive, mentally unstable star by demanding a ransom for stolen photographs from his brain washing/wedding in Italy last year to Katie Holmes (come to your senses, Katie, it’s not too late!). David Hans Schmidt, a man known for brokering deals involving compromising photos and videos of celebrities, and Marc Lewis Gittleman, the co-conspirator who helped pull the photos from a discarded computer disk, have been hit with charges including conspiracy to commit extortion and sending communications for purposes of extortion. Schmidt allegedly approached Cruise’s reps six weeks ago with a $1 million ransom demand in exchange for the photos. Cruise’s crew then called the FBI, which in turn had little trouble unraveling the poorly constructed, meteorically stupid plan of Schmidt and Gittleman. It’s reassuring to know that sometimes in this world of oft-miscarried justice, stupid people get what they deserve.
- Of all the companies in Houston to emulate the business plan of, can I ask why NASA seems to have chosen Enron as a role model? No, NASA isn't guilty of egregiously dishonest, illegal financial practices, but they seem to be doing just about everything else wrong and ruining their reputation faster than you can say “Astronaut wearing adult diapers.” NASA’s recent run of black eyes began when Lisa Marie Nowak drove from Houston to Orlando to confront another woman in an astronaut love triangle, then the problems continued earlier this week when an unidentified NASA employee sabotaged a computer that was to have been transported by the space shuttle Endeavor to the international space station in a couple weeks. Now comes news that NASA may have ignored evidence of astronaut drinking and as a result put missions in danger, according to a panel of outside experts. The panel claims that after drinking heavily, one astronaut flew on a Russian spacecraft and another was cleared for flight on a space shuttle. Based on interviews it conducted, the panel says that NASA officials ignored the advice of flight surgeons and other astronauts who warned of safety risks because the astronauts in questions had too much to drink. The chairman of the panel, Col. Richard Bachmann Jr., did not expound much on the allegations but said the panel was informed about multiple infractions involving alcohol. The news was another punch to the junk for NASA, which still has not fully cleared up many of the issues that arose with the demise of the space shuttle Columbia. But hey, look at it this way, it’s not as if we’re trusting these people with billions of dollars, allowing them control over potentially deadly and dangerous situations and giving them clearance to send people out into space…..oh wait, we are…………
- It takes a complete and total lowlife to hatch a 10-year plan to steal thousands of dollars from the collection plate at their local church. William Biunno, 71, of Mountainside, N.J. has been charged with stealing nearly $28,000 over 11 years from the collection plate during Sunday Mass at Our Lady of Lourdes Roman Catholic Church. Church officials caught Biunno on tape with his hand in the collection plate, removing money instead of putting it in. Other than robbing little old ladies, scamming seniors out of their Social Security checks and pyramid schemes, this is just about the lowest, most despicable way to make money that I’ve heard in a long time. People come to church and try to give money to God and to the work the church is doing and there you are, ripping off God, church and fellow parishioners all in one fell swoop. Maybe next time there’s a sermon on the Eighth Commandment, you should pay special attention Mr. Biunno, remember, “Thou shalt not steal………..”
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