- Now here’s a political candidate I can get with. Cindy Sheehan, the mother of a soldier killed in Iraq who has been an outspoken anti-war advocate ever since, is vowing to run for a congressional seat against House Speaker Nancy Pelosi unless Pelosi introduces articles of impeachment against W. in the next two weeks. Last we heard from Pelosi, she was busy wasting taxpayer dollars on a “fact-finding” vacation, er, trip to the Middle East. Now, she has an angry anti-war activist setting a July 23 deadline for impeaching the president, lest Sheehan run against Pelosi in the 2008 election. Actually, July 23 will be the culmination of Sheehan and her supporters’ 13-day caravan/walking tour from their protest site near W.’s ranch in Crawford, Texas to Washington, D.C. While I’m unable to physically join the Sheehan-led march, I’m definitely with the group in spirit. I’ve been calling for Congress to impeach our Tool-in-Chief for months now, so I’m happy to welcome any willing souls to my bandwagon. The optimal outcome would be the first-ever impeachment of an entire administration, top to bottom, but I’ll settle for W. and his stool pigeon Dick Cheney if that’s all we can get. So get on the impeachment proceedings, Pelosi, don’t make Cindy Sheehan march right into town on July 23 and stick a boot straight up………..YOUR CANDY ASS!!!!!
- You can call Katie Couric a lot of things, and apparently naïve is one of them. The CBS anchorwoman now says that making the move from hosting the morning show on NBC to hosting the evening news on CBS would have been much less appealing if she had known that she’d be stuck doing the traditional, run-of-the-mill CBS Evening News broadcast she now hosts. “People are very unforgiving and very resistant to change,” the formerly perky newswoman whined. Really Katie, you think so? You mean that people who watch the national evening news, people probably in the 30-70 age bracket, people who are actually concerned about what’s going on in the world and are socially conscious enough to care, you mean those people are resistant to change? Seriously? How the frak could you not have known that to begin with? People who are unconventional and welcome change aren't the ones watching national evening news shows. Punks, outcasts and anti-establishment individuals in their teens and twenties aren't going to tune in to some formal, structured nightly newscast, Couric. If you thought people approaching or already past retirement age were going to welcome a new, envelope-pushing, innovative news broadcast, then you’re a lot dumber than most of us presumed you to be. I’d feel bad that you’re unhappy at that the ratings for the CBS Evening News have dropped precipitously since you came on board, but you signed a megabucks deal to do the show, so I really don’t feel bad for you at all
- My easy-to-make prediction of continued success for the new Transformers movie held up over the weekend, with the film raking in $67.6 million for the weekend and $152.5 million for its opening weekend. It’s actually the highest opening-week gross for any non-sequel movie ever, which is actually an amazing feat. Either there are a lot more nostalgic guys out there who grew up playing with Transformers toys than I thought, or Optimus Prime and crew have held up surprisingly well in terms of popularity and relevance with kids of all ages over the past two decades. The next highest-earning movie for the weekend was the animated Ratatouille, which raked in $29 million. Not so amazingly, the new Die Hard movie was nowhere to be found on the list of top earners……..hmm, could it be because the movie blows big time? For those of you counting down to the real thriller of the summer, The Bourne Ultimatum, it’s just over three weeks away, and despite the movie pairing up with NASCAR as a promotional partner, I’m still excited to see what Matt Damon and crew have in store.
- We have a new Seven Wonders of the World list, and if you didn’t take the chance to vote on the new list via the Internet or by text messaging, you’ve now officially missed out on your chance to be a part of history. The new list includes the following: the Great Wall of China, Rome’s Colosseum, the Taj Mahal, Peru’s Machu Pichu, Brazil’s Statue of Christ Redeemer, Mexico’s Chichen Itza pyramid and the rock-carved city of Petra in Jordan. Conspicuously absent from the list is one of the true wonders of the modern world, Barry Bonds’ ginormous, bloated head. Seriously, it’s a true wonder how that thing stays balanced atop Bonds’ shoulders, given that it’s roughly the same circumference as most planets. It’s interesting to note that Greece, with all its historical and architectural wonders, doesn’t have a single entry on the list. But overall you can't be too displeased with the results of the voting, because it didn’t turn out nearly as bad as you might expect for any sort of polling/voting in which the general public is involved. After all, if you look at some of the atrociously bad selections fans make for the NBA or Major League Baseball all-star games, you have to feel pretty darn good about the seven entries on this list.
- I love a good chick fight, so I was extremely enthused to read about a recent skirmish between a female passenger on a flight headed to Tulsa, Oklahoma and someone who can surpass just about any woman on the planet in terms of being effeminate, Clay Aiken. The waifish, girlish crooner whose status as a former American Karaoke contestant is just one of many reasons to ridicule him, had his foot on the woman’s arm rest presumably because he’s Clay Freaking Aiken (in his mind, anyhow) and he can do whatever he wants. The unidentified woman wasn’t cool with this auspicious display of “celebrity” (this is an admittedly big stretch of the term celebrity) egotistic behavior and gave Aiken a “minor shove.” The flight crew resolved this dispute, possibly by offering free facials and pedicures to both combatants, and Aiken later joked at his Tulsa concert about having been beaten up by a girl on his flight. Umm, Clay, you’re already known for being a girlish wimp, so maybe you don’t want to be joking about things that would make you look even weaker and more effeminate. Of course, at this point announcing that you’re going to make a new workout video with Richard Simmons is about the only way you could accomplish that……….
- Call French President Nicolas Sarkozy the anti-W. Sarkozy decided not to issue mass pardons to France’s prisoners on Bastille Day, something that had been a tradition for years. When presented with a decree proposing the release of 3,000 prisoners, N. Sarkozy rejected it. So there will be no mass pardon on July 14, when France celebrates one of the many, many times it has surrendered to anyone with so much as a pellet gun and a butter knife. OK, I’m kidding, don’t get your unwashed, smelly selves in a bunch, France. Bastille Day actually celebrates the 1789 storming of the Bastille prison in Paris by angry crowds. Besides, there’s no way France could actually celebrate each and every one of its surrenders to invading forces; there just aren't enough days in the year.
- NFL players don’t make good criminals. Whether it’s a current or former player, pro football players continue to show that when it comes to outsmarting the law, they’re not very good at staying out of trouble. Current NFLer Mike Vick, Atlanta Falcons quarterback and reputed heavyweight in the world of dog fighting, continues to be caught up in a federal investigation centered around a house Vick owns in Virginia. Late last week, authorities raided the property for a second time in search of 30 dog corpses from animals they believe to have been killed in dog fighting bouts. The current word is that Vick is not likely to be indicted in the investigation, but that could certainly change and even if it doesn’t, clearly Vick had some involvement with this mess and that reflects negatively on him. Former NFL lineman Bill Maas isn't going to be so fortunate in evading the long arm of the law. Maas was arrested on Friday night after being arrested on drug and weapons charges during a routine roadside stop. He’s now been released from jail, but he and Sarah Murphy, a passenger in Maas’ car, were ordered to appear in court on August 21. More and more I’m starting to believe that the NFL needs to put a formal program in place for ex-players to help them stay out of jail, because these guys are turning to a life of drugging, killing, assaulting, conning, scheming, boozing and deviant behavior at an alarming rate. Of course, when so many of these guys are already criminals while they’re in the league, what exactly do you expect from them when they get out of football?
- Today is a day for all sports fans and ESPN viewers to rejoice. The self-righteous, pompous, horse’s ass of a broadcaster known as Dan Patrick will be leaving the Worldwide Leader after an 18-year run. Patrick has (unfortunately) been one of the faces of the network for a long time now, relying on a shtick that basically involves him being a rude, objectionable jerk who thinks himself to be far more entertaining than he actually is. Patrick has announced that he will be leaving ESPN in August, ending both his radio program and his role as an anchor on ESPN broadcasts. I speak for a whole lot of sports fans when I say good riddance, Danny, you won't be missed.
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