- Well played, Mars candy company. You know that America is
morbidly obese in an alarming way and while your mission of selling all manner
of unhealthy, sugar-coated treats to the masses overtly contributes to that
problem, you’re trying to find a way to offset the damage your products do -
all while making it look like you're just a bunch of negligent f*ck-ups. The
official story is that Toole, Utah resident Kassidy Maxfield rolled up on a local
grocery store, purchased a bag of fun-size Snickers bars and on Christamas day,
busted that bag open and was about to pop one of those too-small excuses for a
candy bar into her mouth when she discovered a thumbtack inside the sweet
treat. “That's the last thing I thought we would ever find,”
Maxfield said. But stop and realize that this woman was hungry
and rather than eat a salad or a boneless, skinless grilled chicken breast, she
grabbed a few Snickers candies from her 2-year-old's Christmas stocking.
“Grabbed a couple pieces and the first pieces were fine,” Maxfield said. Had
she stopped at two pieces of candy, she would have temporarily averted
disaster, but she plowed ahead into that third candy bar and bit through the
milk chocolate, peanuts, caramel and nougat and discovered an extra ingredient.
She claims to have found a small gold thumb tack right in the middle of the bar
and spit it out before it could do any damage to her teeth. Maxfield insists
the wrapper hadn’t been tampered with and seems to imply that she didn’t plant
the tack, so she called Mars and the company offered to send her coupons to get
more Snickers. “I'm not interested in eating that candy anymore,” Maxfield
said. Problem solved. Now, pick up that salad fork…….
- Superhero crossovers are box office gold these days. As
such, trying to marry two über-popular heroes - albeit one of them a
foul-mouthed anti-hero - in any form makes sense for everyone involved and
thus, a Deadpool and Wolverine crossover could be happening - just not as a
feature film. The word on the streets is that Ryan Reynolds shot a scene with
“Deadpool 2” director David Leitch and that scene will be shown during the
credits at the end of new Wolverine film “Logan.” While 20th Century Fox has
not made any official comment on rumor yet, allowing it to waft into the air
for fanboys all around the world to build buzz is a smart play. Reynolds, who
plays the titular Deadpool, previsoly asked fans to lobby Hugh Jackman, who
plays Wolverine, to not give up the role after the release of “Logan,”
something Jackman is keen on doing. “I want Deapdool and Wolverine in a movie
together,” Reynolds said. “What we’re gonna have to do is convince Hugh. If
anything, I’m going to need to do what I can to get my Internet friends back on
board to help rally another cause down the line. He noted that Jackman is “one
of the best human beings” and said part of the reason he wanted a combo movie
is because he just thinks Hugh is a swell guy. Whatever fills its credits,
“Logan” will hit theaters in March, while “Deadpool 2” isn't due out until next
year. That’s plenty of time for Jackman to film an extra outtake to round out
its credits……..
- Sometimes, a rebel just needs to go Cro-Magnon in his
efforts to force The Man to hear his voice. An angry mob in rural Argentina
knows this to be true and these bold souls took that lesson to heart by
attacking a vehicle carrying President Mauricio Macri as the president was
heading to a ceremony to inaugurate a tourist information center in the
southern town of Villa Traful, about 1,000 miles southwest of the capital of
Buenos Aires. According to the president’s office, Macri was attacked by rock-wielding protesters who broke
two windows of his official vehicle, but the president himself was not injured.
The official story is that about 10 people were involved in the attack, but if
you can bring together 10 truly enraged people and some old-school tools of
protest and you can bring the fight to the nation’s highest-ranking elected
official, then the world will take notice for at least a moment. In this case, Macri
continued with his normal schedule, but it’s safe to say that he won’t forget
his visit to Villa Traful any time soon. The protestors’ aims weren’t immediately
clear, but the conservative president took office a year ago and has been
struggling with high inflation and a sluggish economy, so there is no shortage
of fuel for those who feel like the government isn’t doing nearly enough to
help them and better their lives in the midst of a hailstorm of problems and
daily struggles……..
- Give gifts based on the recipient and not on your redneck
roots. Philadelphia Eagles rookie quarterback Carson Wentz chose to ignore that
simple rule when following the popular trend of giving one’s offensive linemen
extravagant presents for keeping him healthy and upright during the course of
an NFL season. Thus, Wentz gave each of his offensive linemen a Beretta shotgun
for Christmas, each gun personalized with the player's number engraved on the
butt of the gun. One of those linemen, Allen Barbre, is a fellow hunter like
Wentz, who spent the team’s bye week this season hunting back home in North
Dakota and is clearly a camo-loving country boy who doesn’t mind spending to
give his five linemen the Beretta model is a Silver Pigeon, which retails for
around two thousand dollars a pop. Even if Barbre is a hunter and fellow
lineman Brandon Brooks likes to “go clay shooting and stuff,” giving people
guns for Christmas or end-of-the-work-year occasions just sends a bad message -
namely, think of me when you go blasting away at animals or projected clay
spheres. While Wentz may have been lying in a cornfield hunting geese when he
got the call that Sam Bradford would be traded and that he would be named the
starter prior to the season, was there really any harm in giving away 80-inch,
4K HD televisions, new motorcycles or an iced-out watch rather than a
bullet-hurling instrument of death to a group of guys who may not all be
card-carrying NRA members? Besides, a team that sits at 6-9 entering the final
week of the season probably hasn’t accomplished anything truly gift-worthy……..
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