Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Dueling Janis Joplin biopics, American exports its Clown Apocalypse and ending the Joey Julius headhunt


- Maybe this will end the unofficial bounty on one of college football’s coolest characters this season. Penn State kicker Joey Julius has become a fan favorite because he’s just 5-foot-10 and yet weighs 260 pounds, making the sight of him rumbling down the field and blasting members of opposing kick return units rather than acting like a kicker by avoiding all semblance of contact one of the highlights of every Penn State game. But opposing players have clearly taken notice of the attention Julius is receiving and rather than wait for the cherubic kicker to light them up and put them on the highlight reel for all the wrong reasons, they’re taking the fight to the kicker. First, Minnesota's Jaylen Waters blasted Julius with a vicious blindside hit on a kickoff, earning himself an ejection from the game. Either ignorant of or inspired by that display, Maryland  linebacker Isaiah Davis tried to one-up Waters by crushing Julius on a kickoff last weekend and not only was he ejected in the third quarter, but Maryland coach DJ Durkin has suspended him for this week's game against Minnesota because of the hit. It’s ironic that Davis won't get to play against Waters because the two could trade stories about being head-hunting idiots who figured they would deliver a wholly unnecessary hit on a kicker who they could have disposed of simply by setting their feet, squaring their shoulders and delivering a legal, physical block right to Julius’ chest. Sure, no one wants to be  Kent State returner Kavious Price, whom Julius leveled in Week 1, but there is a happy medium between the two extremes……..


- Why is everyone so quick the denounce a guy just because he (allegedly) stole his elderly father's electric wheelchair and sold it to a pawn shop for $65 so that he could get his bicycle back? Does no one see that there might be another side to this story? Sure, Noah Gibbs is charged with theft of $300 to $5,000 from a person 65 years old or older, dealing in stolen property and false verification of ownership to a pawnbroker less than $300 received and that makes the Brevard County man look bad. But maybe, just maybe, this guy was taking his old man’s wheelchair and pawning it to get his bike back so he could go out, find a job - bike messenger or paper delivery boy? - and buy his beloved father an even better electric wheelchair. That’s not the tale police are telling, but they’ve been wrong before. Their story is that Gibbs' father, Clarence Noah Gibbs, left his Palm Bay home to go on vacation in Ohio and his son was living with him at the time. It’s worth noting that the old man apparently didn’t need that wheelchair too badly because he left it at home in his garage. When he returned from vacation, he noticed that the electric wheelchair was missing from the garage. He later told police his son had stolen and pawned items in the past, further indicting the old man because he left a known thief and pawn shop client alone with a wheelchair valued at $3,000. It didn’t take police long to survey local pawn shops and find that Timothy Gibbs pawned a Jazzy Select Elite electric wheelchair at Palm Bay Pawn and Jewelry for a mere $65. Big ups to T. Gibbs for driving such a hard bargain and not settling for the $50 he was offered initially. Timothy Gibbs claimed his father "advised him to do what he could to get his bicycle out” and said his old man rarely used the wheelchair, so clearly he had good logic behind his crimes, er, actions……..


- She’s still a musical cult favorite 46 years after her untimely demise and now, Janis Joplin may have someone ready to portray her on the silver screen. “Brokeback Mountain” alum Michelle Williams is reportedly in talks to portray Joplin in an upcoming biopic film helmed by director Sean Durkin. Durkin is working on a movie about the legendary singer-songwriter based on “Love, Janis,” a biography of Joplin published by the late musician's sister. Renee Zellweger, Amy Adams and Zooey Deschanel were all previously rumored for the leading role, but for various reasons, they won't be taking it and now Williams will likely land the part. The former “Dawson’s Creek” star has shown off her singing chops before and the fact that three other actresses have reportedly been considered for the role is best understood when put in context by the fact that the film has been in the works for over a decade. It’s also not the only Joplin-centric film in the works, as Adams is also set to portray Joplin in a rival movie called “Get It While You Can.” Now, the race is on to see who can get their Joplin movie done first and who can more accurately portray the troubled, drug-addled singer. Joplin infamously died of a drug overdose in 1970 at the age of 27, combining with Jimi Hendrix as legendary musicians to lose their lives to drugs at that age and deprive the 1970s of two amazing talents before they had a chance to truly and fully display their amazing musical abilities for the masses to enjoy…….


- World, we’re sorry. America has a habit of exporting its culture to the world whether the world wants it or not and while that can include everything from fashion to fast food, this latest trend is one nobody wants, needs or feels safe around. In recent weeks, various American states and ities have been plagued with a creepy clown epidemic, which is a bit redundant because all clowns are creepy. These freaks, ranging from Ohio to South Carolina and points in between, have menaced all manner of people by donning clown costumes and peering into people’s windows, trying to lure children into wooded areas using candy and generally weirded out everyone who sees them. The trend has now crossed the Atlantic Ocean to London, where British police have made an arrest in the case of a person in a clown costume who deliberately frightened people on city streets. According to police, they had arrested a man on suspicion of a public order offense stemming from an incident that started Saturday night in west London and ended early Sunday. The famed Scotland Yard is now involved in the international clown apocalypse, confirming that there have been a small number of suspicious clown incidents reported in London — apparently inspired by clown-related cases in the United States. Police Commander Julian Bennett said that three of the London incidents amounted to criminal offenses and adding that police expect such incidents to increase in the weeks before Halloween. Yes, the world has blown right past battling zombies and moved on to pervs and whack jobs in red wigs, white face makeup, squeezable foam noses and big, floppy shoes. To combat the clown invasion, London police plan to conduct additional "reassurance patrols” in an effort to placate the masses…….

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