Wednesday, August 12, 2015

Warren G v. The Man, French Walter White wannabes and soccer player self-injuries


- Walter White’s influence knows no limits. “Breaking Bad” may have ended last year and sent everyone’s favorite chemistry teacher turned meth manufacturer off into TV retirement, but White’s impact on the real world is anything but over. Just as the three French students charged with killing a woman over an alleged $6,600 drug debt and then trying to dissolve her body in a plot reportedly inspired by "Breaking Bad." Authorities discovered the decomposing body of Eva Bourseau, who was studying art history, inside a plastic container filled with acid in her Toulouse apartment last month. According to prosecutors, one student admitted to police that the suspect attempted to replicate a scene from the show in which White and one of his former students use acid to dispose of the body of a murdered rival. These three would be criminal masterminds, who were not identified, allegedly purchased acid and a plastic trunk to immerse the body and dissolve it. It all began when two of the students allegedly went to Bourseau’s home and attacked her with a crowbar and brass knuckles because she refused to pay money she owed to them. The thuggish, murderous attack was the first of multiple visits the suspects made to the apartment over the following days to check on the condition of the body, using air fresheners to cover up its smell. Right, because you don’t want to screw up your carpet and furniture by offing someone at your home and disposing of the body, so you kill them right where they are. Bourseau’s mother eventually became concerned when her daughter stopped returning her calls and visited the apartment, where she made the horrific find. Two of the suspects have been placed under formal investigation -- equivalent in France to being charged with murder -- with the third member of their posse charged as an accomplice………..


- Maybe this is why soccer players almost never score goals. Sure, goal-free games for as many as 120 minutes of action are incredibly boring and having 22 dudes with various forms of a permed mullet flopping, diving and erroneously kicking the ball in the general direction of the goal isn't good viewing, but look what happens when one of these divas actually puts the ball in the back of the net. Seattle Sounders forward Chad Barrett shocked damn near everyone in the stadium when he scored a goal in the first minute of the Sounders' match against the L.A. Galaxy, putting his team temporarily ahead in a game they would come from behind to lose 3-1. Maybe the Sounders would have had more success on the scoreboard if only the man who strikes quick and parties hard when he scores had remained on the pitch instead of ending up in a crumpled heap on the floor in the middle of a circle of confused teammates. Barrett performed a soccer miracle by scoring just 50 seconds into a game, but his goal was the last play in which he would participate on the day. He managed to strain his hamstring during his celebration and was quickly subbed out of the match. He does earn points as the rare soccer player who went down on the field and was actually injured, but loses all of those points and then some by injuring himself during the post-goal celebration. Next time, he should forget about jumping and wildly gesticulating when he finds the back of the net and settle for something simpler, like ripping off his jersey or sitting down with five of his teammates and pretending they’re all taking a family ride in their imaginary minivan…………


- Being a low-level government employee is neither a lucrative nor an especially fun gig. Such jobs tend to be highly repetitive and demand relatively little from a person on an intellectual level, making the small paycheck even harder to swallow. Bearing that in mind, don’t be too hard on the state Department of Motor Vehicles employees on the alleged receiving end of large bribes from commercial truck drivers for  illegal California licenses. According to federal authorities, as many as 100 commercial truck drivers paid up to $5,000 each in the scam. The U.S. Attorney's Office in Sacramento announced that Emma Klem, a Salinas DMV employee, and a trucking school owner from Turlock each pleaded guilty Tuesday to conspiracy to commit bribery and to commit identity fraud. Klem is merely the tip of the corruption iceberg, as two other DMV employees in Salinas and Sacramento and two other trucking school operators face similar charges. Two pleaded not guilty and the others are awaiting arraignment, so it appears at least a few members of this alleged scam have more of a spine than Klem. Unfortunately, having a spine doesn’t change the fact that prosecutors have court records showing that  the employees changed computer records to falsely show that drivers passed written and behind-the-wheel tests. Those same prosecutors claim that the owners of three truck driving schools bribed the DMV employees between June 2011 and March 2015, but to be honest, what harm could there possibly be in authorizing men and women to drive the biggest vehicles on the road when they have clearly demonstrated during official testing that they don’t have the necessary skills to do so? Lighten up, people……….


- This is a new one. Artists will re-release an album for many reasons, virtually all of which have to do with making more money, but Warren G has found a different reason to crank out a new version of his 1994 album 'Regulate.” The West Coast rapper and producer wants to recreate his classic album not so he can jam one new, lame track on the end and get diehard fans to pay for the whole thing, but in an attempt to control its master recordings, which label Def Jam has owned for two decades. News of the re-recorded album comes one week after Warren released G Funk Era Pt II,” a sequel to “Regulate.” He explained his decision to lay down the entirety of arguably his best album. "I'm gonna re-record it. I'm gonna do a re-recording of the whole album, so then I own my masters," he said. “They don't want to give them back and I need to get them back because they been living off me for over 20 years. I just want to be able to get my music back in my possession and I owe it. I could live off my own music. If they don't give them back to me, I'll re-record the whole album and then that's considered... I would own the masters of those master recordings. That would all be for me." It’s a solid line of thinking, albeit one that fails to understand the basic tenets of contract law and the way the music industry works. Still, one has to admire Warren G being willing to go through the entire recording process for an album he already released, taking the time to spit the same rhymes over and over again until he gets it right … again………

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