Monday, August 10, 2015

Murdering witches in 2015, McDonald's grenade scares and NHL expansion ridiculousness


- The one of America’s four major professional sports leagues that most definitely does not need to expand is happily forging ahead with the process of adding new franchises because, well….capitalism. Las Vegas and Quebec City are the two cities getting suckered into bidding for NHL expansion franchises, with groups from each city announcing late last week that they are moving on to the second of three phases in their bids to land teams. Bill Foley, who heads the Las Vegas bid, issued a statement about the development on his group’s website, while Montreal-based communications giant Quebecor announced on its Twitter account that its Quebec City bid is moving forward. Quebec  served as home to the NHL's Nordiques, who relocated to Colorado to become the Avalanche in 1995, while Las Vegas has never had a team. According to Foley,  Phase 2 will feature bidders' providing the NHL additional information regarding their respective markets and arena plans. Las Vegas’ group has already secured more than 13,200 season-ticket deposits for a potential team and a multipurpose arena is under construction near the Las Vegas Strip set to open next spring. Meanwhile, the publicly funded, 18,259-seat Videotron Centre is set to open in Quebec City next month, replacing the small and outdated Colisee Pepsi. Both bids still must be approved by the NHL board of governors and expansion isn’t expected until 2017 at the earliest. In the meantime, the league will work on wrangling its proposed expansion fee of $500 million from each bidder, with both groups already having submitted a $10 million down payment, $2 million of which was nonrefundable. Keep cashing ‘dem checks, Gary Bettman and crew………


- McDonald’s is trying a lot of desperate tactics to reverse plummeting profits and regain its dwindling market share. This might be the most explosive idea yet and at a minimum, it’s generating plenty of publicity for one Maryland-based franchise of the fast food titan’s empire. Life got interesting in a hurry ,in Thurmont, about 65 miles northwest of Baltimore, when an active military-grade hand grenade was uncovered in the parking lot outside the local McDonald's. A bomb technician with the Office of the State Marshal secured and removed the active grenade, which is likely a relic of the military base located in the area in several decades ago. Dale Ednock, a bomb technician called to the scene, said the grenade found lodged about a foot under the pavement was there for quite some time and it makes you wonder if the workers who did the most recent paving job on the parking lot are now having post-traumatic stress disorder over the realization that they did their work a mere 12 inches from an incendiary device that could have sent them shuffling off this mortal coil had they simply made one or two wrong moves while doing their job. The grenade was found about 1 p.m. by a landscaping crew and its discovery forced the immediate evacuation of both the zit-faced teenagers making the greasy menu offerings and the obese folks powering down their Big Macs and apple pies, as well as the closure of all roads in the immediate vicinity. Given the declining profitability of most McDonald’s these days, being shut down for a few hours may not have cost the restaurant all that much……….


- Dear every band in existence now and in the future: Keep the Beatles’ name out your mouth. You may think that talking about yourself in the same vein as John, Paul, Ringo and George is fine and even a tip of the cap to the rock icons, but when you say that your new album will be on par with one of the most legendary releases of all time, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. That means you, Slipknot frontman Corey Taylor, and your announcement that you and your band are talking about recording an ambitious double album you’ve already doomed by proclaiming that it will be comparable to similar works by The Beatles, Prince and Pink Floyd. Slipknot are an awesome band who have produced dozens of great tracks and while they’ve had plenty of time since they released their latest album '.5 The Gray Chapter' in 2014 and embarked on what they said would be a two-year break, claiming that what they produce next will be on par with The Beatles’ “Let It Be” is such a reach that it’s almost laughable. Tagging it with a feature film a la Prince's “Purple Rain” does add some gravitas to the project, but making it a high concept effort guarantees nothing. "The idea that we had was to kind of come up with the concept and then provide the soundtrack for it," Taylor said. "But then I told them [band mates] the other day… I was, like, 'Let's take it even further and let's make our 'Purple Rain', let's make our 'The Wall'.' With a movie — not just the album, but do the movie… like, do everything. And they were pretty into it.” Taylor added that work on this ambitious endeavor is still many months off, but noted that by laying the groundwork now, Slipknot will be ahead of the game when they return to work……….


- Murdering accused witches….it’s still a thing in 2015, somehow. You may have thought the Salem Witch Trials were a thing of centuries gone by and in virtually every corner of the civilized, non-socially stunted world, the paranoid, ignorant and small-minded world views that produced these farces of justice are precisely that. That is not the case in a village in India's eastern state of Jharkhand, where police say five women accused of practicing witchcraft have been beaten to death. Police official Arun Kumar Singh confirmed that the ignorant, murderous fools of Kinjia village dragged the women out of their homes early in the morning and beat the life out of them with sticks and iron rods. According to Singh, the attackers blamed the women for several accidents and misfortunes suffered by villagers, including the death of an infant in Kinjia earlier in the week. Somehow, these unfounded beliefs made sense in the minds of the angry mob and their IQ-deprived groupthink led to five women who clearly did not commit to crimes of which they were accused losing their lives. The simple fact is that such absurd, superstitious beliefs persist in many parts of Jharkhand and have been behind similar attacks on women in the state. Kinjia is about 25 miles west of the state capital, Ranchi and at least a million miles outside the realm of common sense, common decency or an IQ above 14. Congratulations to all involved for making your village a global punch line because you remain stuck about seven or eight centuries in the past……..

No comments: