Friday, August 28, 2015

Polish gold medal celebrations, how to ruin bad Batman movies and Nazi treasure train conspiracy theories


- Today is a damn good day to be Pawel Fajdek. It has just a little bit to do with the fact that the hammer thrower won gold at the World Athletics Championships in Beijing and much more to do with the way this champion likes to get down when it comes to celebrating his triumphs on the track. It seems that after dominating the field with a throw of more than 265 feet, Fajdek headed out for a night on the town and what happened from there depends upon who you ask. The official story is that Fajdek went out to a restaurant to celebrate and as a hearty Polish athlete with an affinity for hard liquor is wont to do, he poured a fair amount of adult beverages into his system. The night must have gotten a little hazy from there because after Fajdek finished celebrating and headed back to his hotel, he and his gold medal became separated somewhere along the way. When he sobered up and woke up the following morning, he realized he was sans medal and called police to seek their help in getting his trophy of athletic excellence back. Beijing police assisted Fajdek in the search and it didn’t take long to track the medal back to the taxi driver who took the thrower to his hotel the night before. That’s where the story gets good. The driver claimed the Polish athlete was willing to pay his fare with his gold medal, which totally sounds like the sort of deal a drunken, desperate dude lost in a foreign country would make at 1 a.m. when he has no other options.  "We tracked the taxi down after checking a large number of surveillance tapes in that area and got a hold of the driver. The driver then sent to the medal to his (Fajdek's) hotel. It only took an hour to sort the whole thing out," police officer Zhang Bo said. Reports quickly surface of Fajdek drunk at a party before losing his medal, but he disputed those reports on his Facebook page and said the taxi driver actually stole the medal after the two posed for a photo………


- When, oh when, will there be peace between two warring factions that are mortal enemies locked in an eternal struggle for mutually sacred territory both believe belongs to them? No, this isn't a musing on the war between Jews and Palestinians for Jerusalem’s holiest grounds, but the battle is heated nonetheless. It’s the showdown between the purveyors of greasy fast food, cheap toys and oversized soft drinks who fuel so much of America’s obesity epidemic - McDonald’s and Burger King. The two fast food titans duke it out daily for the stomachs of the world’s eaters, but in honor of National Burger Day in the United States, Burger King suggested that the two restaurants put aside their rivalry and make the McWhopper, a blend of the Big Mac and the Whopper, the best-selling burgers at McDonald’s and Burger King. The idea was to operate one restaurant for one day staffed by employees of both companies and selling the McWhopper to raise money for  Peace One Day, a nonprofit group seeking to raise awareness of the International Day of Peace, which was established by the United Nations General Assembly in 1981 for the opening of its annual meeting. Burger King took out ads in multiple national publications proposing the pop-up store Sept. 21 in a parking lot. Fernando Machado, the company’s senior vice president for global brand management, urged McDonald’s to help “make history and generate a lot of noise around Peace Day.” It seems like a reasonable idea to support a solid cause, so McDonald’s moved past pettiness and said yes, right? Of course not. “We love the intention but think our two brands could do something bigger to make a difference,” McDonald’s CEO Steve Easterbrook said in a statement. My man, no you can’t. You’re McDonald’s, not Mahatma Gandhi. Swallow your pride - easier than swallowing the garbage that comes out of your kitchens - and accept the offer………..


- You were wrong if you thought that Tim Burton’s disastrous attempts at a Batman movie couldn’t have possibly been worse. The films Burton made, 1989’s “Batman,” 1992’s “Batman Returns,” were horribly acted, terribly written, had cheesy effects and lame plots, with Michael Keaton holding down the title role in the first two movies in some of the worst acting of his career and Val Kilmer taking the character to new lows for the final of the three movies. So how could these films possibly have been worse? If the first choice for the Batman role had said yes, that’s how. That first choice was Pierce Brosnan, who single-handedly attempted to murder the James Bond franchise with his stiff, stuffy portrayal of 007 in the few Bond films he was tasked with fronting. Brosnan mercifully rejected the Batman role after Burton approached him prior to the first of the three movies. The actor shot down the idea  "It was the beginning of these huge movies, and I just thought, Batman?" Brosnan said. "Batman held such an indelible place in my own childhood, but I said something flippant to Tim Burton like, 'Any guy who wears his underpants outside his trousers cannot be taken seriously.'” Yes because Brosnan’s many yeears of distinguished acting in great films like….umm….err….uh….never mind. Keaton ultimately took the gig and after his casting was announced, skeptical comic book fans sent more than 50,000 protest letters to Warner Bros. Those fans knew what they were talking about, but probably should have extended their anger toward everyone involved with three of not just the worst Batman movies ever made, but three of the worst superhero movies ever made. Keaton ultimately quit when Burton was  asked by Warner Bros. to relinquish the director's chair for 1995's “Batman Forever,” which did little to increase the quality of the movie but at least provided the temporary burst of hope that comes with a fresh start. It wasn’t until a decade later that Christopher Nolan and Christian Bale would bring much-needed quality back to Batman with their trio of movies that were so superior to Burton’s work that they almost seemed to occupy different cinematic universes………..


- Conspiracy theories and the kooks who spout them are awesome. Being out of touch with reality to the extent that you’re willing to wholeheartedly espouse and promote wild theories of some unknown adversary out ther being out to get you makes the world a more entertaining place, so men like Polish Deputy Culture Minister Piotr Zuchowski are world treasures. Zuchowski announced this week that he is "convinced" of the existence of a Nazi treasure train that has been missing for 70 years and which two men claim to have found recently. Petey Z also warned treasure hunters in southwestern Poland to stop looking for the "so-called `gold train"' because it could be mined and dangerous, which of course is going to stop no one at all. Local Polish legend has long held that a German train filled with gold, gems and armaments went missing around the city of Walbrzych while fleeing the Red Army in 1945 and predictably, treasure hunters have spent seven decades looking for it. Hell, during the communist era, the Polish army and security services even carried out fruitless searches for it. Earlier this month, two men, a Pole and a German, said they found a train with armaments and valuables that could be the long-lost mystery train. However, the meh have not provided any evidence of the train's existence. That didn’t stop Zuchowski from suggesting that there's something to the men's claims. “Inside the hidden train -- of whose existence I am convinced -- there could be dangerous materials from the time of World War II. There is a great chance that the train is mined," Zuchowski said in a statement. ." Dream big, eh Piotr? Dream big………

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