- Oh,
the beautifully felonious, deplorable and deviant irony. In his most recent -
and final, it turns out - series of ads for Subway, former fat man Jared Fogle
spoke of how the sandwich shop chain had helped him learn healthy eating habits
that were vital because he now has two children of his own to whom he wants to
pass down the same clean, healthy lifestyle that took him from a 400-pound fat
slob to a bespectacled dork who hawked cheap sub sandwiches with reckless
abandon to the point that he was a permanent resident of every commercial break
on every television network in America, day and night. Fogle’s concern for
children must begin and end with his own because reports have surfaced that six weeks after authorities seized electronics and other
items from his home in Zionsville, an affluent Indianapolis suburb, J. Foges is
expected to plead guilty to child-pornography charges. Subway suspended its
relationship with Fogle after the raid, but good luck pretending that
connection never happened after 15 years of slamming the world with one
30-second reminder after another that this guy reps your brand because he shed
more than 200 pounds as a college student, in part by eating the chain's
sandwiches. Child porn is no laughing matter and if Fogle is indeed guilty, he’s
a subhuman scumbag who deserves every ounce of abuse he’s going to get from his
fellow inmates at whatever prison he’s sent to for a sentence that won’t be
nearly long enough. It’s yet another reminder that when it comes to public
figures in any walk of life, we really don’t know any of these people………
- The
pressure on the New York Yankees - but then again, when is it ever off? The
winningest team in Major League Baseball history throws its 27 world titles in
everyone’s face whenever possible, so it has to expect that whenever it
stumbles, the world is going to throw its failure back in its high-spending
face. Sometimes that arrangement can make life difficult for prominent Yankees,
men like Yankees pitcher CC Sabathia. The 6-foot-7, 300-pound pitcher has been
a dumpster fire of pitching awfulness this season, with a 4-9 record and 5.23
ERA proving that packing on the pounds again after trying the whole getting
thin thing a couple years ago can’t turn back time to when he was a 20-game
winner and one of MLB’s best pitchers. His poor pitching performance is a
bigger issue now that the Toronto Blue Jays are white-hot and have erased the
Yankees’ massive lead in the American League East and when the two teams met
for a three-game series at Rogers Centre in Toronto, the big fella and his
teammates decided to celebrate a game one win by going out for a night on the
town. That’s where a bunch of hecklers were waiting, ambushing Sabathia outside
the club and sparking an incident that landed him on TMZ for all the wrong
reasons. A video surfaced the next day showed Sabathia yelling at what he
described as hecklers, motioning as if
he wanted to make the verbal confrontation physical. Two members of his crew
did exactly what they’re supposed to do, pushing Sabathia into a cab to keep
him away from what turned into an all-out brawl. "I just flipped out," Sabathia said.
"It was a bad decision on my part. I probably should've kept quiet and got
in a cab. I'm just glad I ended up getting in the cab before everything went
down.” Sabathia refused to say what they hecklers said to get under his skin, but
the spotlight is only going to get brighter from here, so it’s time to start
handling it better………
- Fourteen
candidates disqualified for involvement in the
violent disturbances that marred voting at polling stations around your
country? Just another day in Haitian politics. Voters in the Aug. 9 election
were filling two-thirds of the 30-member Senate and the entire 119-member
Chamber of Deputies, but their deep pool of choices got more shallow this week
when election officials disqualified 14 candidates. No one knows if the
disqualified canddiates were winners or not; merely that they were disqualified
by the Provisional Electoral Council. Among them is Senate candidate Arnel
Belizaire, a former opposition member of the Chamber of Deputies who also
happens to be accused of firing a weapon in the air outside a polling station.
Wiat…that’s a problem? Maybe dude was just prematurely celebrating a win, maybe
he was announcing that polls were open by squeezing off a few rounds to let
people know to come rushing to the polls or perhaps this man is just a really
big fan of exercising his democratic rights. A few of his fellow DQ’d
candidates are accused of damaging voting stations or interfering with the
casting or counting of ballots, but it is Belizaire who is the main attraction in
this circus sideshow. He has been a critic of the government of President
Michel Martelly, so this could definitely be a frame job with extremely shady
motives. Belizaire has denied any wrongdoing and claimed he was not out in public on election day. Not
surprisingly, the Organization of American States said its monitors found
scattered violence and irregularities in the voting, which was considered a
test run for the first round of Haiti's presidential election and the second
round of local elections, scheduled for Oct. 25. If this was just the
opening act, then imagine how much fun the second round will be……….
- There
really couldn’t be a better gig for Jon Stewart after ending 16 years at the
helm of “The Daily Show.” When you’ve been committed to the same project for
the better part of two decades and grown it into your own brand that earns you
secret meetings with the President of the United States, the ideal next stop is
something light, fun and short-term, a place where you can enjoy yourself
without needing to be the star attraction. Enter Stewart’s one-night stand as
the host of this year's WWE SummerSlam. The comedian has long-standing ties Vince McMahon’s
empire and was last seen feuding with WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth
Rollins. Stewart appeared on Monday Night RAW to kick Rollins in the junk and
in turn, Rollins showed up on Stewart’s show to jokingly menace the funny man. The
two traded jabs on social media as well and with Rollins set to face fan favorite
John Cena at Barclays Center in Brooklyn on Sunday, Stewart as the show’s host
could be in just the right position to interfere and cost his nemesis the
title. Last we saw J-Stew, he was officially signing off as “Daily Show” host
with a sprawling, emotional finale that included dozens of guest stars and a performance from Bruce Springsteen. New host
Trevor Noah will take over the show this fall, with Stewart seeking what’s next
for him. If he doesn’t find that next gig in the near future, maybe he can snag
a spot as a manager for The New Day or Prime Time Players or a position as part
of the Spanish language announcing team at WWE shows. All he needs now is to
put some actual motions to his finishing move, “The Moment of Zen.” Your move,
Jon………..
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