- Morgan Freeman can get away with a lot of sh*t and still
be cool because….well…he’s Morgan F’ing Freeman. He’s one of the coolest dudes
around, he has the best voice this side of James Earl Jones and he’s been a
cast member of some of the best movies in the past three decades. That’s why
anyone who wants to crack the 75-year-old actor for falling asleep on air
during an interview with Michael Caine on Tacoma Fox affiliate Q13 should check
themselves and take several giant steps backward from their current position. The
interview was to promote their new film, “Now You See Me,” which features a
crew of bank-robbing Las Vegas magicians. Caine was talking and like any
self-important actor, he was neck-deep in a long and rambling story about his
craft. He was droning on and on about magic tricks and somewhere along the way,
Freeman nodded off. Ever the professional, Freeman woke up in time to do some
of his best impromptu acting by feigning interest in Caine's rambling story.
However, he didn’t try to pretend that he was “just resting his eyes” or that
the entire incident was somehow a big joke. Instead, Freeman owned it in a way
that only a 75-year-old dude who knows he has the voice of God and a résumé like
few others can own sleeping in a live interview. He cracked a joke about the
situation, saying through his spokesman, “I wasn’t actually sleeping. I’m a beta
tester for Google Eyelids. I was merely updating my Facebook page.” There is an
even money chance Freeman has neiter a single Google device nor a Facebook page
that he actually uses, but the joke fits and if someone wants to make fun of
Ellis “Boyd” Redding, the guy who can get you things inside Shawshank prison,
then they’re the one with a problem……..
- Oh joy, the time of nutty senior pranks is here again. As
high school seniors across America lazy their way through their final few days
of their high school careers and put as little effort into their school work as
they do into microwaving some pizza rolls for breakfast as 1 p.m., there are a
few bold and inventive souls who take a few hours and invest some of their
abundant creative energy into pulling off a prank they hope will make them a
legend in the halls of their school for decades to come. Whether it’s pulling
down a door frame and sneaking their principal’s disassembled compact car into
the school to be rebuilt in the gym or letting hundreds of chickens loose in
the halls overnight, every senior worth his or her salt wants to execute an
epic prank to be remembered by. If a certain key figure in American history can
be involved in the process, so much the better. It’s a truth an unidentified
senior at Portland’s (Ore.) Lincoln High School knows all too well. The school, clearly named
after the 16th President of the United States, Abaraham Lincoln, is home to a
life-sized statue of the late president. That statue currently lacks a head
after the senior in question decapitated it in what is being described by
school officials as a prank gone wrong. Principal Peyton Chapman said the head
was broken-off overnight Wednesday when a pulley system failed, causing the
statue to tumble to the ground. The head broke off in the process and while it
would have been much cooler if the head were lopped off on purpose, a result is
a result no matter what. In a highly questionable move, the responsible students
came forward and admitted what they had done. The police were called, although Chapman
said she hopes to handle discipline internally because she does not believe any
malice was involved. In the interim, other students created a makeshift
memorial for the statue, complete with a poster, flowers and a balloon in the
area where the statue once stood……
- Luring gamers in and suckering them into buying your
product is all about originality and presentation. Companies must find a way to
offer an experience that pale, sunlight-deprived gaming losers cannot find
anywhere else. Codemasters is hoping it has the magic formula
correct with its exclusive Grid 2: Mono Edition, a racing game that comes
with special packaging, a PlayStation 3 console, a Grid 2-branded helmet and a street-legal BAC Mono supercar. The special
edition of Grid 2 is accented by he
BAC Mono, a British-built machine with a carbon fiber body and four-cylinder
engine generating 280 bhp that allows it to accelerate from 0 to 60 in less
than three seconds and tops out at 170 mph. But wait…there’s more. Toss in that
bitchin’ helmet, a Grid 2
racing suit with boots and gloves fitted for the user and a day at the BAC
factory including a tour and time spent with technicians on-car customizations
and it’s safe to say that some idiot will throw down thousands upon thousands
of dollars for this package. Codemasters claims this is the most expensive
special edition videogame ever created, but its most-valuable aspect has little
to do with what it contains and everything to do with the fact that only one is
being made and it's only available in Europe. Rich people with money to burn
love exclusive items and they generally enjoy traveling to Europe, so this is a
win-win. Whoever buys the package can drive their special vehicle to work because
it is street legal. The buyer will have a nice edge because while the standard
wait time for a BAC Mono is 14 months, the purchaser of the Grid 2 Mono Edition will take
delivery in just six months. For those who can't afford this special offer, Grid 2 comes out on May 28 in North
America and May 31 in Europe for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3 and PC………
- Most NFL draft experts ranked the St. Louis Rams’ class
from last month’s draft as one of the better ones. For a team that improved
drastically last season but still has a long way to go to be a contender, that
was good news. Even with a good draft, though, a team can always use some more
muscle up front. The Rams found a lot of muscle – 6-foot-10 and 403 pounds of
it – this week when they signed Terrell
Brown, an undrafted free agent out of Ole Miss. Brown, who played sparingly
during his three-year career at Ole Miss, was listed at 6-foot-10 and 388
pounds leading up to the draft. He wasn’t exactly a stalwart for the Rebels,
playing in just two games at offensive tackle in 2012 and eight games at
defensive tackle in 2011. His size allowed him to become a sort of freak
attraction at Ole Miss' pro day, where his 38-inch arms and 92 3/8-inch
wingspan stood out in a room full of freaks. He ran the 40 in 5.80 and 5.88
seconds, had a 5.65-second short shuttle and a 8.98-second three-cone drill and
posted a 23½-inch vertical jump and 6-foot-9 broad jump. His strength wasn’t exactly
overwhelming (22 lifts on the bench press), but the Rams saw enough to offer
him a free-agent deal and give him a chance to make their team this summer. When
they got him to their facility, he turned out to be larger than advertised. The
Rams have elected to shift him from the defensive line to offensive line, head
coach Jeff Fisher said. "Actually, we weighed him in at 403," Fisher
explained. "We had him in for the tryout, and he had some issues that we
had to clear up from a physical standpoint. But he got that put behind us. We
worked him out on both sides of the ball, defensive line and offensive line,
and we felt like his best position would be right tackle.” It will now fall to Rams
offensive line coach Paul Boudreau to make a viable NFL player out of Brown………
- Turkey just became a lot less fun. The country’s uptight
parliament has
passed a law to ban all advertising of alcohol and tighten restrictions on
sales in the mainly Muslim but secular country. This buzzkill outfit approved
the bill today and this wet blanket of legislative excess bans the sale of
alcoholic drinks between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. It also prohibits alcohol sales
anywhere close to mosques and educational centers. Oh, and there is also the
provision that bars drink companies from promoting their brands and forces the
blurring of images of alcoholic drinks on television. That’s right, blurry beer
mugs on TV and no whiskey for that Irish Car Bomb if you forget to buy it
before your party starts. The most obvious question about the new law is why,
as in why is the government trying to harsh everyone’s buzz by going all
prohibitionist on their asses. Officials have argued that the law is aimed at
protecting Turkey’s youth from the harm caused by alcohol. That argument falls
flat because children in any culture who really want to get their drink on are
going to find a way no matter what laws are in place. Secularist opponents of
the new law have smartly accused the Islamic-rooted ruling party of gradually
imposing an Islamic agenda and while they left out the buzzkill/wet blanket
rhetoric, it was implied. Anyone who hasn’t yet stocked up on their hard liquor
or booze has time to act before the measure goes into place, as the legislation
needs presidential approval before going into effect. The one solid part of the
law that no one should oppose is the stricter penalties on drunken driving in
would impose…….
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