Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Liam Gallagher vs. Daft Punk, the world's biggest flag and bizarre MLB injuries


- Prepare to have your world view rocked. That weird-shaped, brightly colored outer space thingy you thought was the Ring Nebula is no ring at all. The nebula has been misnamed and is actually something of a football-shaped jelly doughnut. That discovery was made by a team of researchers led by Robert O’Dell, a physics and astronomy professor at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. He and his team reported their conclusion following a first-ever video reconstruction of the interstellar body based on sloughs of images from the Hubble Space Telescope and ground-based observatories. The Ring Nebula, also known as Messier 57, has been a known commodity to scientists for centuries, ever since French astronomer Antoine Darquier de Pellepoix first spotted it in 1779. German nobleman Count Friedrich von Hahn made repeated observations of it over several years leading up to 1800 and he reported seeing changes in the cloud’s middle. Among his observations was a faint star at the center. Over time, astronomers concluded that the nebula had a hollow middle and was in the shape of a ring. That give rise to its given name, but O’Dell and his crew decided to take a closer look. What they found were varying patterns of motion that may cause the middle to look unlike the rest of the nebula from an Earth-bound vantage point. That could create some of the visual illusion. The cloud surrounding the core is expanding by more than 43,000 miles an hour, but the growth is much faster at the center than it is in the outer ring. As a result, the middle is much lower-density than the rest of the nebula. O’Dell and his team used the highest-precision views of the nebula taken yet courtesy of the Hubble telescope and the pictures showed no gas presence at the center of the nebula. The nebula measures one light-year across and the now-dying star von Hahn spotted is indeed present. Based on the Hubble images and other recent analysis, the Ring Nebula is likely on its way to white-dwarf status……


- Hey Republic Party: Bob Dole has something to say to you and when Bob Dole says that Bob Dole has something to say, you’d better listen to Bob Dole. The former U.S. Senate Majority Leader, in declining health and 89 years old, took some time during a TV appearance Sunday to describe the current gridlock in Congress as unreal eviscerate his fellow Republicans for not getting more done. He also suggested a unique remedy for the embattled and emaciated GOP. “They ought to put a sign on the national committee doors that says closed for repairs until New Year’s Day next year and spend that time going over ideas and positive agendas,” Dole said. He rambled on about the current Congress’ partisan battles over topics such as reducing the deficit and expanding health care and lamented the legislature’s 16-percent approval rating among the American people, as per a recent Gallup survey. Dole represented his state in both the House and Senate, but the former Republican presidential candidate wondered if he or former President Ronald Reagan could make it in today’s Republican party. He did also blast President Barack Obama for lacking communication skills and traveling too much. “I’m not a critic of the president, but I think one mistake he’s made was not getting together more with Congress earlier on, in his first administration,” Dole said. Just to be clear, he’s not a critic, he was just non-criticizing the president by, you know, criticizing him. Bashing a decorated military veteran who is nearly 90 and is suffering from multiple health issues is bad form, so let’s just give Dole credit for describing the Senate as being “bent really badly” and just keep moving……


- The list keeps on growing. Major League Baseball players injured in the most ridiculous and moronic ways possible are a never-ending gift of hilarity and their troubled tales include apartment stairs, deer meat, mis-sized hats, tanning beds, trash bags full of watermelon rinds, dugout towels and more. Add household chores and dinnerware to the list and count Arizona right-hander Ian Kennedy as the first victim of this home hazard. Kennedy will miss his next start after cutting his right index finger while doing the dishes this week. He was supposed to start one of the Diamondbacks’ two games in Monday's doubleheader against the Texas Rangers, but his sliced finger courtesy of that pesky cereal bowl or butter knife left his team down a man. Left-hander Tyler Skaggs was recalled from Triple-A Reno to fill in and given that minor leaguers are more likely to be using paper plates and plastic cutlery, one would assume that dishwashing injuries are less likely for him. According to Arizona manager Kirk Gibson, Kennedy cut his finger a couple of days ago and threw a bullpen session on Saturday with a Band-Aid on it. The team weighed several different options to work around the injury and allow Kennedy to pitch on Monday, including glue, ultimately decided that some good antibacterial gel, another Sesame Street Band-Aid or two and more time to heal were the best route to take. There is still a possibility that Kennedy may have to go on the disabled list, although it’s doubtful his entry would read, “Out – Attacked by dinner plate.” Kennedy is currently 2-3 with a 4.70 ERA, so it’s not like the Diamondbacks will miss him tremendously while he is recovering from his boo-boo and doing his best to learn how to use the dishwasher and avoid hands-on dish duty…….


- Score one for the people of Clinceni. Their village may located in the middle of nowhere some 22 miles southeast of Bucharest, but they have put themselves on the map by aspiring to do what kooks have done for decades and decades – get their names in the Guinness Book of World Records. Alongside the freaks who grow 12-foot-long fingernails and the loser who accumulates the world’s largest ball of yarn, the villagers of Clinceni have secured a spot in the record book by unfurling the largest flag ever made. Displaying it Monday afternoon took about 200 people willing to waste several hours of their time. When fully undulated, the flag measured about 1,145 feet wide by 744 feet tall, making it about three times the size of a football field, according to Jack Brockbank, an adjudicator for Guinness World Records who measured the flag before pronouncing it the biggest flag in the world. “It gives me great pleasure to recognize a new Guinness World Record title,” he said after measuring. “Congratulations, Romania.” Yes, because no one deserves congratulations more than people who wasted the time and money necessary to make and display a red, yellow and blue flag covering 853,478 square feet. The milestone monument to stupidity and wastefulness was enough to wrest the top spot away from Lebanon which, held the previous record. The volunteers who displayed the five-ton flag struggled to keep it firmly planted on the ground because of windy conditions and had to use small sandbags. The man at the heart of the idiocy was Adrian Dragomir, manager of Flags Factory. His company spent weeks creating the flag, sewing it together using some 44 miles of thread. Ever the opportunistic politician, Prime Minister Victor Ponta and other ministers showed up to see the flag and have their pictures taken while a military brass band played………


- Liam Gallagher is progressing. He has shifted from bittering his way through life with bile directed at his brother and former Oasis bandmate Noel and is now directing his snarkiness at other musicians. The current targets in his crosshairs are French electronic duo Daft Punk. Their (overrated) new album “Random Access Memories” has yielded the No. 1 single “Get Lucky,” now in its fourth week atop the British music charts. Liam Gallagher is no fan of the song and believes it is so simple that he could write it in “an hour.” “I'd write that in a f**king hour. I don't know what the fuss is about, you know what I mean?" he asked. His anti-Daft Punk emotions don’t stop there; Gallagher also took issue with the French act's penchant for wearing robot costumes. “I am not going to have people wear disguises. Take your f**king helmet off. Let's see what you look like sans helmet, whatever you're called,” he added. Coincidentally enough, the first album from Gallagher’s first post-Oasis act, Beady Eye, wasn’t very good either. The band unveiled the video for their new single “Second Bite Of The Apple” this week to build hype for their forthcoming second release, the unimaginatively titled “BE,” due out on June 10. Perhaps this album will be better than “Different Gear, Still Speeding,” as it was recorded in London with über-producer and TV on the Radio member Dave Sitek. "Working with Sitek just opened something up in us," Liam Gallagher said of the project. "He’s without a doubt the best producer I’ve ever worked with, a real outlaw – he doesn't give a f*ck, no rules. We had a new found focus when we were writing it – we really got our heads down and got our sh*t together – clear heads, none of that crap from the '90s.” Beady Eye will play a few shows in the United Kingdom before a limited run on the festival circuit in Europe this summer……..

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