Thursday, May 30, 2013

A true NHL loss, Microsoft's latest tweak and a Russian daredevil's record


- It was bound to happen. Plenty of pathetic losers treat their dog or cat like a person, feed it better than they do their own children and ass-hattedly refer to the animal as their child. Not enough tools give the same preferential treatment to chickens. A New Hampshire farmer who is pathetic enough to treat her chickens as part of the family is stepping in to fill that void. Julie Baker has concocted a creative way to pamper her poultry and that way is launching a website called “Pampered Poultry,” which – truthfully - sells chicken diapers and saddles to protect against the “not so gentle gentleman roosters.” Sadly, this might be the least-idiotic of the chicken clothing items Baker sells. She also hawks clothing for poultry — brightly colored dresses with bows, tailcoats and even a diaper with a bow tie attached. Because not all chickens possess the self-discipline to work out and stay away from fatty foods, the diapers come in a variety of sizes. According to Baker, her products allow chicken owners to bring their pets inside the home without the mess. The diapers function like a harness and are placed on the animal by slipping the diaper over the chicken’s back and securing it. “When my daughter and I set out to design and sell chicken diapers, it was born not so much out of a need to literally pamper our poultry, but rather to share in the growing movement to bring chickens from an agriculture sphere,” Baker explained in a post on her blog, Farm Dreamer. “We wanted to be part of the “Backyard Chicken” movement.” The odds of there actually being something known as the Backyard Chicken movement seem slim, but trumped-up falsehoods are just part of the advertising game. Baker’s fowl fashions range in price from around $10 to $21 depending on size…


- The Dude does not abide – not in a sequel, anyhow. One of the ultimate cult-favorite films of the past 15 years will not be honored with a second chapter, as the Coen Brothers have all but ruled out making a sequel to “The Big Lebowski.” The film has spawned legions of fans, festivals at which lovers of all things Lebowski dress in costumes from the movie and speak the same lingo Jeff Bridges and his pals did in the 1998 release. Bridges played "The Dude" and John Goodman co-starred as his friend Walter Sobchak. As with any movie that remains popular years after its release (and even with many that don’t), suggestions for a sequel have been prevalent over the years. In fact, another of the film's stars, John Turturro, revealed in 2011 that he had an idea for a spin-off film based on his character Jesus Quintana. Nothing became of that idea, but last summer a hoax news story claiming Bridges and Goodman had signed up for a sequel circulated online and had fans hyped for the idea of another “Lebowski” movie. Ethan and Joel Coen didn’t offer much of a response then, but they are saying something now. "I don't think it's going to happen. I just don’t like sequels," Joel Coen said of a sequel during an appearance at the Cannes Film Festival. "John Turturro, who wants it, talks to us incessantly about doing a sequel about his character Jesus. He even has the story worked out, which he's pitched to us a few times, but I can't really remember it… No, I don't see it in our future,” Joel Coen added. That news is not going to go over well with the diehards at Lebowski Fest, but they’ll just get stoned and forget about it, so it’s no problem. Meanwhile, the Coen Brothers' latest film, “Inside Llewyn Davis,” a drama set on the 1960s New York folk scene, premiered in Cannes to rave reviews. Just imagine the reviews “The Big Lebowski 2” might receive……..


- Doesn’t Russian daredevil Valery Rozov know who rules his country with an iron fist? He had better find out quickly because while claiming a world base jumping record in a leap off the north face of Mount Everest in a special wingsuit sound epic, such a feat could easily be seen as a personal affront to thrill-seeking dictator Vladimir Putin. Rozov released video of the May 5 jump on Wednesday and staged his stunt to mark the 60th anniversary of the first ascent of the world's most famous mountain. In releasing the video, the 48-year-old Rozov also claimed the record for the world's highest-ever base jump, at 7,220 meters above sea level. The video shows him clad in a special wingsuit, gliding for a full a minute in the thin mountain air, reaching speeds up to 125 mph, before landing on a glacier at 5,950 meters. His feat was something of a corporate sellout, as it was sponsored by Red Bull, which posted a statement on its website in conjunction with the video’s release. "Because the cliff at the top was not very high, the initial moments of the leap in the rarified high altitude air were the most critical phase," the post read. "Rozov needed more time than usual in the thin air to transition from freefall to flying." Planning the jump took a full two years and the climb from base camp to the jump location took Rozov four days. He was assisted by a team of four Sherpas in making the ascent. Rozov’s list of stunts includes more than 10,000 jumps, including jumping into an active volcano on the Kamchatka Peninsula in Russia's Fast East in 2009 and leaping from 6,420 meters from Shivling in the Himalayas in a warmup for the Mount Everest leap. "Only when I got back home did I see how hard it was for me both physically and psychologically," Rozov said. Now try to imgine how tough it’s going to be when Putin ships him off to a gulag for performing this stunt before the despot could do it himself. Putin totally would have found time in between staging fake tiger hunts and publicity stunts flying in a glider alongside endangered birds…….


- Is everyone excited? Check that. Is anyone – anyone who doesn’t work for Microsfot – excited about the leak of several screenshots of a prerelease build of Microsoft's forthcoming Windows 8.1 update? Updating the world’s worst operating system is generally not a reason for excitement, but there is a minor amount of buzz over the screen shots because they indicate that the Start button really is coming back. The screen shot of the Windows 8.1 desktop featured a new-look Start button in the left-hand corner of the taskbar, right where Windows 7 users expected to find it. The botton is adorned with the redesigned, monochrome Windows logo, rather than the now-old-school multicolored orb. When a user moves the mouse over it, the logo changes color to indicate its functionality. Its purpose is launching the Windows 8 Start Screen…..and that’s all. It won't pop up the old-style Start Menu, just provide a new way to get to the new launcher UI, in addition to the button on the Charms bar, the Windows key on your keyboard and the dedicated Windows buttons found on many Win8 fondleslabs. Along with this slight tweak, the system will also feature the primary Start Screen with its Live Tiles and the option to set the default Start Screen to the "All Apps" view. The All Apps view will also be configurable so that users can group their icons by usage, which is a cheap substitute for a Windows 7–style Start Menu in the form of a full-screen view. The last useful tidbit surrounding the new Start button is that it will reportedly also be usable from within Windows Store apps and from the Start Screen itself, but will only be visible if the user moves the mouse cursor to the lower left-hand corner of the screen. For those users who aren't big fans of the button, Microsoft will also provide the option to get rid of it all together……..


- Fired National Hockey League coaches are a plentiful commodity. Coaches are fired a few games into the season, halfway through the season, three-fourths of the way through the season and after the season ends. They are fired on a boat, in a moat, beside goat and carrying a tote (bag). Despite those facts, it’s still jarring when a team lets a coaching superstar like John Tortorella go. Tortorella, who won a Stanley Cup with the Tampa Bay Lightning in 2004, is out as coach of the New York Rangers and with him, the best sound bytes anywhere in the NHL are now homeless. The Rangers announced Tortorella’s dismissal on Wednesday, a mere four days after the team was bounced from the second round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Firing a man who routinely dropped profanities during in-game television interviews, belittled and shouted down reporters in postgame press conferences and was likely to explode in a fit of rage at any given moment is awful, but firing him in New York is worse. Giving a combustible coach like Tortorella the platform he had coaching in the biggest media market in America is a gift to all sports fans, just as firing him after his team lost its playoff series in five games deprives those same fans of the joy of a witty Tortorella putdown after a tough loss. Sure, expectations were high this season after the Rangers reached the Eastern Conference finals last season, but this was a lockout-shortened season in which teams did not have enough time to prepare for a condensed, 48-game schedule. Rangers team president and general manager Glen Sather refused to go into detail about the reasons Tortorella was let go during a conference call Wednesday, but admitted that Tortorella was "shocked" to hear the news. "It wasn't one thing," Sather said evasively. "I think I made the right decision so we can move forward in another direction.” Coaches who aren't 75 years old and have a Stanley Cup win on their résumé usually find new jobs, but Tortorella’s verbal meltdowns just won't have the same impact in Columbus, Calgary or Winnipeg next season…….

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