- Bizarre baseball injuries know no offseason and free-agent
pitcher Carl Pavano is (barely) living proof of that fact. Pavano, who was on
the radar for several teams despite going
2-5 with a 6.00 ERA in 11 starts last year with the Minnesota Twins and not
pitching after June 1 because of a strained right shoulder, added the latst
chapter to a book that already dwarfs “War and Peace” when he was hurt in a mid-January
accident at his home in Vermont in which he fell while shoveling snow and
ruptured his spleen – really. Pavano was taken to the hospital a few days after
his fall because he didn't feel well following a workout a few days later in
Connecticut and his spleen was removed last week. He has remained in that Connecticut
hospital for nearly two weeks and according to his agent, he was very nearly in
life-threatening danger. "He lost a lot of blood. It was very, very
serious," agent David Pepe said. "He felt bad enough that he went to
the hospital and he ended up getting admitted, and they realized he had a
lacerated spleen. They tried to control the bleeding. They did all they could
to not take it out and, unfortunately, he didn't stop bleeding and he's been in
the hospital since." Pepe expressed hope that Pavano will be released from
the hospital this week but said there is no timetable for the pitcher’s return
to baseball. When he does get back on the mound, the 37-year-old
right-hander will have a lot of
work to do to get back to the pitcher who went a combined 31-23 pitching for
Cleveland, Minnesota and the New York Yankees in 2010-11 before sliding to 9-13
in 2011 and becoming an even bigger disappointment last season. Get well and
protect your internal organs, Carl………
- Rest assured, if there is a new technological innovation that
is unknown to most of the world, eventually porn will find a way to infiltrate
that innovation and it will happen sooner rather than later. Porn is
everywhere, it dominates the tech world and it has managed to infect the
newly-launched video app Vine already. The app has only been around for a
matter of days and the first six-second clips to filter through the app were
relatively benign: a simply steak tartare recipe, banana animations and two
young children holding hands. Anyone with more than two seconds of familiarity
with the Internet realized that pattern was not going to last and sure enough,
it was only a matter of time before the porn-valanche began. It happened over
the weekend as hashtags such as #sex and #porn began popping up on the app,
featuring several adult videos that quickly drew the attention of both pervs
and Twitter, the latter of which released a statement encouraging users to flag
any inappropriate content. "Uploaded videos that are reported and
determined to violate our guidelines will be removed from the site, and the
user that posted the video may be terminated," the statement reads. In
spite of that strongly worded statement, the Vine porn issue ramped up a notch
Monday morning when an adult clip appeared as one of the Editor's Picks. Vine
quickly removed the offending video from the list and Twitter insisted its inclusion
was due to "human error." Yes, human error or a human who happens to
like his or her porn a little bit too much. Regardless of the culprit in this
case, the obvious winner, as always, is porn as it triumphs over yet another
leap forward for technology……….
- Don’t bring any of that “Brokeback Mountain” garbage to
Moscow, y’all. Russia's parliament is having none of the push for greater rights for
homosexuals and in that spirit, on Friday the legislature backed a draft law on
Friday banning "homosexual propaganda.” Cynics may argue that the bill is
nothing more than a transparent attempt to shore up support for President
Vladimir Putin in the country's largely conservative society, an idea that is
mildly laughable because Putin doesn’t need support in a nation where he is the
de facto dictator. A whopping one deputy in the State Duma lower house voted
against the bill and there was actually more exciting outside the chamber,
where 20 people were detained after scuffles between Russian Orthodox
Christians and gay activists who staged a "kiss-in" protest. Supporters
of the law hoisted pictures of Russian Orthodox icons and crosses, cheered and
threw eggs as police hauled away gay activists. "We live in Russia, not
Sodom and Gomorrah," United Russia deputy Dmitry Sablin proclaimed ahead
of the 388-1 vote in the 450-seat chamber. "Russia is a
thousands-years-old country founded on its own traditional values - the
protection of which is dearer to me than even oil and gas." Hear that,
gays? Keeping your pro-homosexual propaganda out of Russia is more important
than the oil and gas that form the backbone of Russia’s economy. Sure, human
rights activists described the draft law as "medieval” and warned that it
will only deepen divisions in society under Putin’s tyrannical rule, but who
are you going to believe here? Do you side with the reputable, upstanding
despot who rigs elections and imprisons those who dare to speak out against him
or do you cast your lot with the latest targets of that despot? Putin has
sought closer ties with the Russian Orthodox Church and emphasized what he and
his supporters see as conservative, traditional Russian values. To go into
eeffect, the law must be passed in three readings by the lower house, be approved
by the upper house and then signed by Putin. If that happens, it would
officially become illegal to promote gay events across Russia with fines of up
to 500,000 roubles ($16,600) imposed on organizers. Well played, Russia………
- There aren't many directors or movie producers willing to
role the dice on the potential on-set disaster that is a Lindsay Lohan casting.
Maybe Tina Fey, who is about to have some extra free time on her hands once “30
Rock” concludes its run on NBC on Thursday, has an idea that could suit Lohan
perfectly. The last role anyone remembers Lohan for in anything remotely
resembling a positive fashion is her 2004 cult favorite “Mean Girls” and Fey,
who wrote the screenplay for the film, said Sunday night at the SAG Awards that
a musical version of the movie is on her to-do list. “I’m trying to develop it with my husband, who does all the music for
‘30 Rock’ and I think Paramount’s onboard,” Fey said during a red-carpet chat
before the ceremony in which she won for Best Actress in a Comedy Series. In
her acceptance speech, Fey gave a shout out to “Parks and Recreation” SAG
nominee Amy Poehler, who played the mother of Regina George, the meanest of the
mean girls, in the film. Poehler’s character took great joy in prancing around
in tight-fitting pink track suits and showing off her amplified chest. “I just
want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are NO
rules in the house. I’m not like a regular mom, I’m a cool mom,” Mama George
said at one point. Fey has brainstormed who might fill Poehler’s role in a
musical take on the franchise and floated the idea of the always-insane Mariah
Carey. Carey even took umbrage to fellow “American Karaoke” judge Nicki Minaj comparing
her to Regina George during a recent taping of the show. A Lohan-Carey
pairing on the big screen? Someone expand the film’s insurance budget because that
one could go way off the rails………
- Did someone start filming for the fifth “Bourne” movie
Sunday in Stoneham, Mass. and not tell anyone? If not, then a car just exploded
and caused massive destruction in the middle of a packed parking lot for no
good reason. Sadly, the answer appears to be the latter and the culprit is not
Jason Borne, Pamela Landy, Noah VosenX or any of the usual “Bourne” suspects,
but rather shopper Jackie
Sugrue whose ride went boom moments before she was about to get into it. “I
unlocked my car. I popped my trunk then my car exploded all over the parking
lot,” Sugrue said. The resulting explosion sent shrapnel flying through the
parking lot, leaving many shoppers badly rattled and unsure what had just
happened. Some described it as “like a war zone” and most people fled the
parking lot for the safety of the store as police and the bomb squad rushed to
the scene and cordoned off the area. Investigators delivered the sad news that
the explosion was not the result of someone planting a bomb in the rear
driver’s side wheel well of Sugrue’s car or tampering with her engine block,
but rather the result of Sugrue’s remote key igniting vapors coming from
plumbing equipment in her trunk. The explosion was loud and forceful enough to
shake nearby houses, but a man who was spotted near the car by witnesses at the
time of the explosion was not harmed. Two cars in adjacet spaces were damaged,
but Sugrue emerged unscathed. “My trunk went flying over this whole row of
cars. I’m just thankful no one got hurt because it could have turned out really
bad,” she said……..
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