Thursday, January 10, 2013

Riot Watch! South Africa, "American Karaoke" fake fights and stripper hazards


- There are plenty of hazards for the average stripper: overly hands-on, lecherous patrons who don’t understand club rules for contact, a filthy brass pole with dozens of other women’s filth on them, the daily assault on their dignity caused merely by doing their job, their lingering coke habit, the real possibility that children’s services officials will take their child away because little Ashley has a coked-out stripper for a mother….the list is lengthy. Yet it was none of those dangers that caused the tragic death of Richmond Heights, Ohio stripper who died Wednesday at the age of 22 after a fall from a second floor balcony. Lauren Block was giving a man a lap dance and reportedly attempted a dangerous move that sent her over the balcony’s edge and to the ground below. She fell head-first over the balcony’s railing and tumbled 15 feet, sustaining massive head trauma. Paramedics did what they could to assist her, but Block had been listed in critical condition since Jan. 2, when she suffered the fall at Christie’s Cabaret. Block’s family released a statement thanking the community for its support of the family and letting everyone know that she was an organ donor whose untimely demise would hopefully be able to save lives. Her passing should also send out another warning beacon for any would-be strippers who are debating whether their life has regressed enough to resort to taking their clothes off for money and having total strangers with no dignity or decency shove $1 bills down their G-string. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration is still attempting to determine if it has jurisdiction to investigate the accident and a final decision is expected to take several more weeks.……


- Even though it couldn’t matter less because both of them are absurd musical punchlines, “American Karaoke” judges Nicki Minaj and the über-insane Mariah Carey have (reportedly) made nice and resolved whatever differences existed between them and their two massively bloated egos. The two I-think-I’m-a-divas has been feuding back and forth over God knows what (whose music sucks more?) and in October, Minaj threatened to "knock out" Carey during a taping of the show’s latest round of crappy karaoke auditions. Their bickering, very possibly a contrived attempt to breathe life into the horrible show, reached new heights recently when a disagreement over a contestant's performance prompted Minaj to launch a tirade of insults towards Carey. In response, Carey claimed she had to hire extra security staff while working alongside Minaj because their fighting made her feel "unsafe.” “Anytime anybody’s reeling threats at somebody, you know, that's just not appropriate. Sitting there on the road with two babies, I'm not gonna take any chances, so yeah I did hire more security," Carey said. However, that extra hired muscle may not be necessary if Minaj is telling the truth when she says that her beef with Carey is over. Not only is it over, but it apparently ended because the two women sat down and wathced Minaj's sex tape together.I put on my sex tape," Minaj said, explaining that Carey responded, "Time heals all wounds.” It sounds like an absurd claim, but Minaj insisted it’s true. “We watched my tape…and we’re professionals,” Minaj added. Of course, because watching someone you hate fornicate on screen is always soothing, life-affirming and never uncomfortable or awkward……….


- The New York Knicks have been here before. When they first signed Amare Stoudemire to a five-year, $100 million contract in the summer of 2010, then-coach Mike D’Antoni played the knee-troubled forward more than 40 minutes a night even though Stoudemire is one of the few athletes who have undergone microfracture surgery on a knee and managed to come back as anything resembling their former self. Amazingly enough, Stoudemire has not been the same since and current Knicks coach Mike Woodson just got the 6-foot-10 former All-Star back after he missed the first two-plus months of the season recovering from surgery to repair a ruptured cyst in his knee. Now that Stoudemire is back on the court, Woodson must be aware of how many minutes he asks him and his worn-out knees to play, something team doctors reminded Woodson of after Stoudemire experienced soreness in his surgically repaired left knee in Monday's loss to Boston. Stoudemire played 28 minutes in the game and is averaging 10 points and 2.3 rebounds in 20 minutes per game through four games. After Monday’s game, team doctors approached Woodson and told him that he needed to scale back Stoudemire’s minutes immediately. "He was probably a little sore and that's probably the reason for it. So I've got to be open-minded to that and do what's asked. That's the right thing to do," Woodson said. Neither the coach nor his medically coddled player wanted to characterize this latest development in Stoudemire’s story as a setback, but Stoudemire admitted that he felt "a little bit sore" after the Boston game. "I don't feel as if it's a setback at all. I feel great," said Stoudemire, who's "I just think we're taking a precautionary route. Just making sure that everything [continues] to improve. I think that's about it, really.” What “fewer minutes” means is open to interpretation, but Woodson said Stoudemire would play between 20 and 23 minutes against Indiana on Thursday. He will continue to come off the bench as he has since his return…….


- Riot Watch! Riot Watch! South Africa is the place and a highway in the grape-growing Western Cape, heart of South Africa's multibillion-dollar wine region, is the place for this edition of everyone’s favorite overview of social dissidence around the world. Tensions are higher and pain tolerance needs to be higher if this awesomeness is going to continue, but it was definitely a ton of fun on Wednesday when police fired rubber bullets and stun grenades at hundreds of striking farm workers who blocked the aforementioned highway. These bold rebels piled burning tires across the main highway through the town of De Doorns, 60 miles east of Cape Town, for a simple cause: higher wages. That led to a chaotic confrontation in which four rioters ended up in the hospital for minor injuries from rubber bullets as police dispersed the crowd. “I can confirm that 41 people have been arrested, but that number could rise," said police spokesman Andre Traut. Before police flew into their state of overreaction, pyromaniacal protestors set bushes, a bulldozer and a trailer on fire, sending a beautiful cloud of black smoke billowing into the sky. Sadly, the bullying tactics from The Man worked and after the crowd scattered, police removed large rocks that protesters had used to block the road. The strike is a continuation of labor unrest that began last year in the platinum mining industry and swept through the trucking and agriculture sectors. Pyromania has been a persistent theme in the work stoppage industry in South Africa, as a similar walk-out in December by farm workers saw these manual laborers set warehouses on fire. Many of the workers are black seasonal hires employed to pick and pack fruit on farms owned mainly by the white minority, further exacerbating tensions. Their demands center on an increase from a minimum daily wage of 69 rand, a number they want to see increased to 150 rand, or $17.44. Protestors at Wednesday’s shindig lamented that farmers spend money on security guards and expensive cars rather than pay workers more and the mix of distrust and racial rage indicate that the dispute isn’t likely to be resolved any time soon. "We have been met with naked racism and white arrogance," said union leader Nosey Pieterse, general secretary of the Bawsi Agricultural Workers Union of South Africa………


- Stock up on that full-strength sleeping medicine now, America, because The Man is looking to buzzkill your anti-buzz by forcing the makers of Ambien and similar sleeping pills to lower the dosage of their drugs. Why would they do such an unconscionable thing? Because of some overreactive and over-reaching studies suggesting patients face a higher risk of injury due to morning drowsiness, that’s why. Because of those studies, the Food and Drug Administration is requiring the changes. The FDA said Thursday that new research shows that the drugs remain in the bloodstream at levels high enough to interfere with morning driving. Oddly enough, the agency believes this drowsy driving increases the risk of car accidents. To counter the problem, regulators are ordering drug manufacturers to cut the dose of the medications in half for women, who process the drug more slowly. Those doses be lowered from 10 milligrams to 5 milligrams for regular products, and 12.5 milligrams to 6.25 milligrams for extended-release formulations. In a slightly sexist slant to the story, the FDA is only recommending, not requiring, hat manufacturers apply these lower doses to men as well. However, the new rules do apply to all insomnia treatments containing the drug zolpidem, which is sold under brands including Ambien, Edluar and Zolpimist. Additionally, FDA officials want doctors to prescribe the lowest dose possible that will successfully treat insomnia. "Patients who must drive in the morning or perform some other activity requiring full alertness should talk to their health care professional about whether their sleep medicine is appropriate," said Dr. Ellis Unger, a director in FDA's Office of Drug Evaluation. Unger cited a number of reports the FDA has received detailing car accidents connected to zolpiderm over the years. While it cannot definitively connect the drug to a specific role or assess a specific percentage of the blame in these accidents, the agency still decided to take action after recent driving simulation studies showed that drug levels remained high enough to cause difficulty driving in some patients. Before these new rules rip the full-strength, good stuff off the shelves, stock up now or else you just might have to fall asleep on half the medicine and wake up cognizant enough to know what you’re doing behind the wheel of that 2,500-pound hunk of metal in the morning……..

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