Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Chris Brown and Jesus, leafy green dangers and Egypt in chaos


- My prediction for the fight? Pain. That seems to be the philosophy for General Abdul Fattah al-Sisi, Egypt's armed forces chief, when it comes to the country’s current political crisis. Speaking about the crisis, al-Sisi warned that the crisis "could lead to a collapse of the state.” He posted those words on the military's Facebook page and cautioned that such a collapse could "threaten future generations.” Before the words became public, the military deployed a large number of troops in three cities along the Suez Canal where a state of emergency has been declared. So far, more than 50 people have died in recent weeks as a result of protests and violence. Port Said is the current flashpoint for much of the drama because of death sentences handed down to 21 participants in soccer riots last year that left 74 dead and many more injured. President Mohammed Morsi imposed a curfew to slow the violent reaction to the sentences, but thousands of people in Port Said, Ismailia and Suez ignored the curfew and took to the streets Monday night to rage against the machine. In response, al-Sisi attempted to both threaten those rising up and instill a sense of confidence in Egyptians about the capability of their military. "The continuing conflict between political forces and their differences concerning the management of the country could lead to a collapse of the state and threaten future generations," said al-Sisi, who is also Egypt's defense minister. He added that the challenges facing Egypt represent "a real threat to the security of Egypt and the cohesiveness of the Egyptian state.” Despite being not-so-covertly threatened by a high-ranking military leader, Egyptians can undoubtedly feel reassured to know that  the military deployment along the Suez Canal is meant only to protect the key shipping route, one of Egypt's main sources of foreign revenue, according to al-Sisi. Arguably the most humorous part of an otherwise humorless situation is the fact that the current unrest stems from a soccer match. Granted, it is a soccer match in which fans of the local club al-Masry brought weapons to a game, were allowed to carry them by security officials also sentenced to death and then attacked when stadium workers shut off the lights over the section housing fans from rival club al-Ahly, but it’s still soccer. Oh, and feel free to view this as further proof that Americans are wise when they purposefully have nothing to do with the sport……..


- That didn’t last long. Rob Ryan looked like he had himself a new gig last week when the St. Louis Rams reportedly decided to hire him as their defensive coordinator. Ryan, who boldly (and foolishly) proclaimed after being fired by the Dallas Cowboys on Jan. 8 that he would “be out of work for like five minutes,” seemed to have landed a new gig running the defense for head coach Jeff Fisher. Multiple media outlets ran with the story and there seemed to be no reason to doubt it…until today, when the Rams changed their mind and reversed field on Ryan. After a second meeting with the bombastic Ryan on Monday, the team’s coaching staff determined that his addition was not a good "scheme fit," according to Fisher. The veteran coach pointed out that the team never made an official announcement on the hiring of Ryan, but it’s rare that a coach is all but hired only to have that chance yanked away like Lucy pulling the football back from Charlie Brown’s right foot. Never mind Ryan’s faulty math about being unemployed for five minutes; he wasn’t able to keep his new job that he never officially had for five seconds. Ryan may have been one of the scapegoats in Dallas after owner Jerry Jones said he would make major changes to a team that finished 8-8 and missed the playoffs, but the fact that he has now gone three weeks and counting without finding a new job suggests that there is something off-putting about him. The Rams didn’t even have a defensive coordinator this season after defensive coordinator Gregg Williams was suspended by the NFL for his role in the New Orleans Saints' bounty scandal. The Rams broke Williams off earlier this month and judging by the way they dispatched Ryan, no team in the NFL is more proficient at turning away unwanted coaches than St. Louis……..


- FAT people, here’s some evidence for you to use in your never-ending effort to avoid eating healthy food items. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention leafy greens such as lettuce, spinach and kale accounted for the most food-borne illnesses nationwide from 1998 through 2008. While dairy products accounted for the most hospitalizations and the most deaths were linked to poultry, obese folks who prefer Taco Bell or the local all-you-can-eat buffet over a salad and grilled chicken breast will undoubtedly point to the dangers of leafy greens as another reason they can’t stop consuming unhealthy sh*t. Even though CDC food-borne disease expert and lead study author Patricia Griffin said the study isn't meant to be a "risk of illness per serving" list for consumers, 687 percent of people tend to make up facts and statistics and use them for whatever serves their purpose. Whether or not regulators and the food industry use the findings to improve food safety remains to be seen, but Griffin insisted most meals are not a health hazard. "The vast majority of meals are safe," she said. "Eating them (leafy greens) is so important to a healthy diet. They're linked to reduced risk of heart attacks, stroke and cancer." For the study, Griffin and her team examined 4,887 outbreaks that caused 128,269 illnesses, hospitalizations and deaths when the food that caused them was known or suspected. CDC epidemiologists found that leafy greens accounted for 23 percent of illnesses and dairy products 14 percent. Leafy greens received a boost when the study’s focus shifted solely to hospitalizations, where dairy products were responsible for 16 percent of hospitalizations followed by leafy vegetables at 14 percent and poultry 12 percent. A total of 277 people died from food-borne illnesses linked to poultry and 140 from illnesses linked to dairy products during those years. Combined with the ongoing implementation of the Food Safety Modernization Act, which requires the Food and Drug Administration to focus its regulatory efforts on the highest-risk food products, the study should create some traction in gaining a greater focus for food-borne illnesses, which tend to have their spotlight stolen by more high-profile maladies…….


- Add another entry to the list of kooks who believe they have seen the Almighty in a random place in nature or on a piece of breakfast food. Rebecca Archer of Albuquerque, N.M. is the latest fool to delude herself into believing that heaven has come down to Earth on a piece of toast or in a pile of grass clippings. Archer was doing yard work with her husband outside their northeast Albuquerque home when they found what they (delusionally) believe to be an image of the Virgin Mary inside one of the tree limbs they were clearing. "I see a picture of Mother Mary. No mistake,” Archer said. "It almost became a split log for the fireplace. I am so grateful that it didn't.” The Archers believe the (non-existent) image of the mother of Jesus was hanging over their house for years without them even knowing. As with so many gullible fools who fall for this sort of nonsense, Archer is facing various stressful life situations and latched on to the supposed miracle as a positive sign in her search for a job as well as encouragement after her mother passed away a few weeks ago. She views the (not really there) image as a positive sign for her job search and a source of hope in a time of personal loss. As Archer tells the story, the image is complete with a halo, veil and a well-known likeness of a sacred heart. "I think it's because she knows, she needs to be here for us right now," she said in explaining the (fake) appearance of Mary. Rebecca Archer plan to keep the log on the fireplace mantle next to her mother's urn and she and her husband plan to build a special box to store the branch in. Lots of luck finding in the many miracles that sawed-off piece of lumber will bring, kook……..


- The last thing a person wants to do in a difficult time in their life is to lose perspective and make outrageous claims or statements. A bad day is no reason to say something regrettable that may haunt you for the rest of your life. No one understands this better than pop singer Chris Brown, who occasionally takes time away from assaulting women the feud with other musicians the very way he’s beefing with fellow pop singer Frank Ocean at the moment. Brown and Ocean reportedly got into an altercation over a parking space at a recording studio in West Hollywood Sunday night and Brown is accused of punching Ocean during the resulting fracas. Aside from serving as proof that famous people are just like the rest of us and fight over stupid sh*t, the incident has yielded yet another forgettable public moment for Brown. In response to the heat he is taking for the fight, Brown took to Instagram on Monday and posted a photo of Jesus on the cross with the caption, “The way I feel today,” later adding, “Focus on what matters!" What should matter to Brown, aside from possibly violating the terms of his probation for beating up on-again, off-again lady friend Rihanna in 2009, is that he now appears to be a delusional kook who believes that he is being persecuted like the Son of God. Brown does not appear to have been tried and wrongly convicted for crimes against the Roman Empire and crucified on a cross alongside two common criminals, so his Instagram photo seems off base. Instagram users were largely divided over the image Brown posted, with some mocking his use of Christ-centric imagery in response to a fight over a parking space while others asked for patience and understanding for their favorite singer. Police say Brown was one of six men involved in the brawl at the Westlake Studio around 8 p.m. and he allegedly became enraged after Ocean refused to shake his hand after the two had a verbal pissing match over parking lot protocol. Ocean allegedly laughed at Brown and in response, Brown punched him in the face. "Got jumped by chris and a couple guys. lol. I only wish everest was there," Ocean later wrote on Twitter, referring to his dog. The beef between the two is long-running and Ocean, a member of the rap duo Odd Future, hasn’t backed down from Brown in the past. Brown’s habit of fighting with his peers is becoming disturbingly frequent and his fight at a Manhattan club last year with Drake nearly left San Antonio Spurs star Tony Parker blind in one eye. At least this time, no one nearly had an eye put out………

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